Your favorite fitness influencers Soren & Daniel share their thoughts on the crash out of Joey Swoll. Soren walks us through the downfall of the Jefe of Gym Etiquette, Daniel recounts a misleading “no beginners” run with a park ranger, and both men rediscover their passion for live performance… by way of Good Friend Soren Bowie's good faith attempt to surprise Daniel with an improv game.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh God, quick quick question. I want to hear your thoughts,
to know what's on your mind.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I've got a quick quick question.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
The answers not a port and I'm just by the
week and Talk Tonight.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
So what's your favorite did you get?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Daniel bro.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
See best Friends in Comedy here writ.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
If there's an answer that I cannot find it, I
think you have a great time.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I think you have.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
A great time.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You We're back on the show. It's a quick question.
It's the show with Sore and Daniel. Soren is a
writer for American Dad. I'm Daniel. I'm a writer for
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and we are we
are talking. We're talking podcast stuff, so and I want
(01:05):
to get right into it. Uh talking podcasts. Love.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I love our fucking filler. I love that both of
us do that. It actually, it makes me very happy
that you do it too, when I'm like trying to
transition and I'm like not really listening to what I'm saying,
and the things I say are incredible, and.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
We neither of us are generous about it, because like,
if you were talking and there's some filler, like the
generous thing for me to do would be to just
let you sort of go and then chime in. But
I'm gonna seize on it.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Like a heart, and you live there for you.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I just live in that space.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I will live there, and I will point to it
every time you go past it. Again.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, we uh, we record this podcast for your ears,
but also you can watch it on YouTube with your eyes.
And because I'm a warm sometimes, I read the comments
on YouTube and soaring. In our last episode, I was
wearing a sleeveless tune squad jersey yes, and someone in
(02:10):
the comments said that I was on gear, which, first
of all, I had to google.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Second of all, it means steroids. They said I was
on gear and trying to show off my arms, and
I guess, third of all, I'm not. And fourth of all,
I don't think. I mean I'll take it. I don't
think my arms looked that good. I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
It's hard to say when people are like, all right,
when people ask if you're on steroids because you got
is the response like, oh my god, that's so kind
of you. No not, or is it? Well, hold on,
give me the exact details of why you think I'm
on steroids. This is all this hideous back at.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Me I have. Yeah, right, it's a doctor who's like,
oh no, this has nothing to do with your arms.
It's your weird neck. That's a side effect of steroids
that I still.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Well so. And then the other thing I'm curious about
is the etymology of that word on gear.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, yeah, because first I I think in my brain,
I I don't know where it comes from, but I thought, uh,
gear meant heroin. And that's why I had to google it,
because I was because because somewhere something in my memory
was like, being on gear means you're you're on heroin.
It's like one of those heroin slangs, like like ghak,
(03:31):
where it's just like they all jumble in my in
my brain together from my time on the streets, was.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Back one of them. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It was a hero slane And this is about to
chime in on this.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
So gear is referring to heroin if I remember correctly.
But I think it's in kind of a general sense,
and it's in the same way that for steroids is
kind of interesting. It's like this is just considered part
of your equipment if you're an athlete, this is like.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Your bat or your back. Oh that's interesting. But it
was also heroin.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Because it was just part of like when you get
dressed in the morning, you put on your clothes and
you put on your heroin.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, here's all my gear. That's so. That's so kind
of athletes to themselves, just an alcoholic sneaking in booze
and being like, I've just got my juice, just.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Got my mettle.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
P I. The only reason that I know gagged as
heroin is that I was reading some probably the oral
history of Nickelodeon might have been the oral history of
Double Dare, and how like the creators behind a lot
of people who worked on early Nickelodeon stuff. It was
incredibly punk rock weirdos who were who were behind Nickelodeon,
(04:50):
And they were so stoked that the slime that was
used in Double Dare and a lot of other Nickelodeon
shows was officially called ghak, and they sold ghak for
a while, and they were so pumped that they snuck
in a heroin slang into their the their network of
(05:12):
children's shows. That's how I know. That's if anyone was wondering,
what is the most disappointing way that a person can
learn the gag slang term for heroin. It's the oral
history of Nickelodeon.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It's yeah, I mean, obviously a deep, fascinating, smart people, funny,
irreverent people like Dan Schnyder starting Nickelodeon. I'm behind I'm
behind all of them. You talk what he did running
around behind young starlit's John gat get get gat.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh, brother, Well, that's what I listened to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I have something actually that I want to talk about
based on that. I wasn't going to talk about this
because I'm I'm worried it. It sort of glances against politics,
but I think it is also very interesting. Daniel, do
you know who Joey Swoll is?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Joey Swol No, yeah, I can. I would guess uh,
a fitness slash wellness influencer who's probably big in the
MAHA movement.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay, you're not too far off. I think I might
have suayed you in a different direction only because of
the way that I did my little preamble of that.
I don't think he's maga at all. I think that
he is. He is a fitness influencer.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
He's sorry to jump in here. So maha, Make America
Healthy Again is Robert F. Kennedy's whole deal, And it's
a pretty big tent that includes fitness and wellness influencers
as well as anti vaxxers and racists so well. And
it's kind of a tense.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
We're not too far off because so Joy's Joey Swool
is as a social media influencer. I think he's pretty
big on Instagram. Obviously. As always, I catch all this
downstream on my preferred platform, Facebook, and I go into
Facebook reels and I just flip through it like I'm
changing channels and cable. And Joey Swol has come across
my page every once in a while. And he's a
(07:23):
guy who is essentially I think his job is he
is the arbiter of etiquette at the gym. Like that's
what he's decided his job is. So first of all,
let me give you like, let me just back up.
He's like a ripped dude, very very strong, strong to
the point that it's funny looking, you know, like somebody
who's so strong that when you see their whole body,
you're like.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Ah, so.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Is this is this ai?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Look at that? Look at that tiny head on top
of all that muscle he has, Like he's here seeing
kind of green eyes that I find very troubling, if
for no other reason than they are similar to my color.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I don't know. I'd have to look into like why
anyone who has that type of like like soft green.
I'm like, oh, fuck this person. He has a little
shaved in his eyebrow. I think maybe could be a scar.
But like I'm just giving you like a sense of
what this guy looks like. Always a backwards hat, always
a tank top, and is a fitness advocate obviously, and
(08:20):
he's like has always been i would say, steered on
the side of like helping people at the gym. He's
about inspiring people. He's about like anytime that. What he
does is he finds footage of somebody will take footage
holding there at the gym and they're like, look at
this creeper looking at me while I'm at the gym,
And he's like, Hey, that guy didn't look at you
once in that video. I think, leave everybody alone, Like
(08:41):
you're gonna put that guy on blast and he doesn't
even know it, Like, leave that guy alone. Same with
other there's guys who are taking pictures themselves in the
bathroom and someone will walk their frame and they'll say, hey,
can you turn that camera off? And the person won't.
He'd be like, we don't do this. And so he's
like he's fighting what he considers the good fight on
behalf of the gym. Sure, I don't think he's wrong.
(09:02):
Most of the time he's.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Doing this in person, or he is like putting up
a clip and he's a talking head about his blasting people.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
He's saying, you're people are saying this is wrong, and
he's saying, no, you're doing it wrong. There's a lot
of that, and then he talks about how you should
be inspiring every the gym. This is these are the
reasons nobody wants to come to the gym. Like, he's
got like this big ethos around Jim culture and how
to make it better. And in a lot of ways
I agree with him on that front. Now he gotten
(09:33):
a lot of hot water recently and has sense quit
social media. This guy who had like this this is.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
His whole career.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
His whole career is is this? Now? When I tell
you how he got into hot water, you tell me
at what point you no longer side with Joey Swell.
Oh boy. He when Hulkogan died, he did a tribute video.
There was no he didn't do, didn't talk about him
at all. He went to the gym dressed up as
(10:02):
the Hulkster like full BoA's like red, red and yellow Boa,
a fake mustache, the bandana, and it's just him doing
curls at the gym as as the Hulkster and there's
like a camera kind of swirling around him. Okay, you're right,
so far he's.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Still on boardant I mean, it's tough for the purposes
of this hypothetical. I was never on board. So now
I'm I have to, like, I have to pick what
I think is the second most outrageous thing that I
think he's going to do. Yeah, I'm fighting in the
weeds from my correct moment.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
So he is obviously within that that like jeice culture.
I don't maybe that's derogatory to say, but like that
jewe culture, just meatheads. Meatheads are so taken with one another,
and I think everybody kind of knows that. Like everybody,
all these guys who are very strong love other strong
guys because they know, I assume, because they know the
(10:58):
amount of work that goes into it. They appreciate what
the other person has done. They're basically just like, hey,
I see what you're doing, and like they want to
be friends. And they all have that kind of vernacular
that Hull Cogan seems to have invented of, like calling
each other brother yeah and uh and that like you know,
these guys, there's one at every gym. We used to
have one at our old gym when we went to together.
(11:18):
His name was Hawk because he was a gladiator. He
had been a gladiator.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I thought you were going to talk about I thought
you're gonna mention Keith because like Keith, Oh, Keith kind
of so strongly about because there were two Keith's in
our gym that we both knew pretty well and we
needed to distinguish them. And so there was Keith and
douche Keith and that was yeah, that was part of
that was.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
A product of him being pretty young too. He was
young and then got strong all of a sudden, and
I think that that can really mess somebody up. That's
like being a star early on in your life, where
you're like it changes you fundamentally in your brain. But
this Keith wasn't like Keith didn't have the like the
language and stuff that goes along with this. Julie Swall
is he's got that kind of like Jim bro mentality.
(12:08):
And really, I think at one point had met hull Kogan,
and hul Cogan was very kind to him and his
journey and everything, and he has since had like a
real admiration for him. But everybody obviously came for Joey
Swall when they're like, Hey, you talk about not being
a shit head at the gym, and here you are
a dressed as hull Cogan who used the N word
several times.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
And so he made a rebuttal video essentially where he
was He said, I'm okay, I'm gonna paraphrase, but but
please know that this is Jolly Swell talking and not me. Okay,
Joey Swell goes like this. He says, I don't know
what the big deal is, So I can't have I
(12:52):
can't have admiration for a guy who has clearly changed
the entire institution of working out. So what if maybe
twenty years ago he might have said something something weird.
I don't even know that's what I've heard. I've heard
twenty years ago. He said something crazy, and we all
make mistakes. I'm not god, I'm not I can't decide
who's good and who's bad. But he was kind to me.
(13:12):
And if you're gonna come for me for this, you
got to come for all the other colored athletes who
also supported him. End quote. So a lot to unpack, right,
A crazy new wrinkle to this development. Yeah, May I
(13:34):
go ahead?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
May I seize on other for a moment. Yes. If
I'm going to pick a word as my starting point,
this is.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Nice ramp up because obviously it's not the worst word
he used. No, we are in his zone where it's like,
hold on, there's a lot of grapes I have, so
let's just start at the easy one. Yeah, other athletes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Right, So considers himself.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I don't think he considers himself my but I think
he does consider himself an athlete, which is very funny
to me because it's clear that he doesn't know what
his job is. He doesn't know of it, like social
media is what made him his money. But yeah, he
very much considers himself an athlete, I think, and then
was mad that everybody came for him and not for I.
(14:21):
Think that there were probably and I assume other weightlifters
are something that also said a lot of kind things
about Hulkogan who were maybe minorities got it and was
mad that that had happened, that they're not coming for
them too, that he feels very singled out, but used
a word that has not this man is thirty nine
(14:42):
years old, a word that has not been in the
vernacular for fifty seven years, not since like the Civil
rights movement has this word been in the vernacular. And
very noveling word.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I don't even know if it's a word that racists
youse anymore. I think like double down on the worst words,
and this is one that we've just sort of, uh
we we've all collectively said goodbye to and good riddance to.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yes, this is one of those circumstances where he did
something he shouldn't have done. He could have just let
it blow over, but instead he doubled down. And boy,
I doubleding doesn't even feel right. Yeah, he really just like,
you don't think I can dig this hole deeper? Watch me,
watch me fucking take that. I'm so strong and said
(15:37):
that and everybody lost it. Everybody was like, what are
you doing, and oh, oh, Hulk Hogan's one of your heroes.
Oh interesting, I guess I could have predicted that. And
people were very upset for obvious reasons. And let's see,
I'm trying to think of where that stands now. Oh.
(15:57):
Then after that, he was like, I've tried to do
so much for so many people. I've tried to help
everybody through the years. Help I can't. I'm not racist.
I helped the black woman get a gym membership. And
this sucks. This sucks that everybody's doing this to me.
I'm quitting social media. I guess it's true what they say,
you either die hero or live long enough to see
(16:17):
yourself become the villain. Ah quoted Harvey Dead. But that's
such like a bro, like a gym culture bro thing
to do of like, yeah, I've heard this quote somewhere,
surely George Washington or somebody said, And so he quit
social media. Now he since, I think, walked this back
(16:38):
a little bit because people are like, no, Joey, you
helped so many people, what are you doing? And he's like,
I just I don't know. Maybe I'll be back later,
but I got to get my head right and I
think he's kind of trying to let this blow over
and then we'll come back. But because it's his career,
he doesn't have anything else going on. I don't think
maybe he's a professional wait in some capacity, but I
(17:01):
don't even think that that's true. I think this is
all like aesthetic for him.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah, all of that is very, very bad. I mean
it's social media is not the problem here, but it's
such a magnifying glass of probat like MAGNI say, twenty
five years ago, this Joey Swoll was just a guy
(17:28):
who was supposed to get fired from his job at
the gym or his job at the bar where he's
a bouncer, and then he was supposed to go home
and tell his buddies, I got fired because my boss
doesn't have a sense of humor. That's where it was
supposed to end. And then he was supposed to find
another job somewhere else. But now it's social media at times,
and he's a star, and he's now a victim of
(17:55):
cancel culture gone monk, and like again in this hypothetical
where it's twenty five years ago, So he gets fired
because he's an idiot and he doesn't know he doesn't
have a good enough sense to know why what he
did was wrong, but it's not going to affect other people.
He'll just find another job where that's okay. But now
everything is so heightened that he is just another piece
(18:19):
of evidence for this culture war to keep going and
self perpetuating. And I'm sure he'll end up on all
of the matosphere podcasts and he'll be a rising star,
because somehow they need more of those. You don't know,
it seems like there's too many.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I think you're right. I think that is the natural
trajectory of things. But this guy has spent so much
time advocating on behalf of women in the gym that
I'm like he would know better. I think that one
event isn't going to change all of that. But he
clearly doesn't know as much about race, and so I
think this is maybe a learning opportunity for all of us,
(19:01):
for him and us. I'm gonna give you one more
little detail about this guy that really might throw you
good friends with Dan Bilzarian. I'm pretty sure who oh
oh boy, you don't know Dan Bilzarian. That's right, that's
what who was meant to convey? Okay, boy, this is
(19:24):
gonna be way harder to explain. Dan Bilzarian is a
guy also I would assume just a social media influencer,
though I think he might also be a motivational speaker.
I don't know enough about him, but he's he is
very anti Semitic. He is a guy who lots to
take a lot of videos of him being like just
(19:46):
working on my book and it's him at an empty
desk with one page and a pencil, yeah, and then
two beautiful women in bikinis sitting on the desk with him.
His whole ethos is like, you surround yourself with beauty,
and you surround yourself with these gorgeous women. And so
he think he's paying a lot of young women to
be in bathing suits around him at all times to
(20:08):
make it look like his lifestyle is something that's achievable
and something that other men might want. He's also very strong,
He's a meathead. They just they can't get enough of
each other.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
And this was a friendship that was supposed to surprise me.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Well, I don't know that I did enough front loading
with Joey Swoll to tell you, like how much he
seemed to be an advocate of the right things in
the gym. Like early on, like it seemed like he
was trying to really stand up for people in the
gym and be like, let's make this a positive experience,
Let's make this good for everybody. And seeing somebody who's strong,
(20:46):
who gives a shit about anybody else of the gym
was a surprise, and he was really trying to make
it a good experience, seemed like. But he's got there
are some other elements of him where I'm like, oh,
may not be the type of person I thought you were.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, I think I would in need need to have
seen more examples, because the idea of someone making the
gym a better experience doesn't immediately scan as positive because
I need to know what their definition of a better
experience is. You know, like, I don't know exactly who's
(21:26):
side he's on in the gym, because you were just
saying that, Like someone was taking pictures in the gym
bathroom when someone walked by and he popped up in
TikTok and said, hey, we don't do that. I don't
know which thing in that scenario he is against.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Oh, you don't know, Okay, So if somebody who's taking
videos in the gym and somebody else walked by and said,
please turn that off, and the person would not, and
so he came in in the stitch. Then Joey's swell
comes and he's like, hey, stop taking videos in the
gym bathroom. Stopped taking pictures in the gym bathroom. People
don't want to be seen in the gym bathroom. This
(22:05):
is a huge invasion of privacy. And he talks about
it in the gym too. He's like, if you're gonna
do videos in your gym, and your gym does allow it,
then at least be respectful of everybody else around you.
If somebody walks through your scene, don't throw your weights
on the ground because you're upset because somebody walked in
front of your camera. And he's like, he's always on
the side of respect respecting everybody else who's using that
(22:27):
same space as you. So in a lot of ways,
like he would say things, I'd be like, yep, you're right,
you're right, you're right, and uh and then and then
now I don't say that anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Daples Area.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Just to give you another clue, this is a guy
who claimed for a very long time that he was
a Navy seal, never in the military whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Wonderful.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah, what a.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
What a very easily provable lie.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
What a.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Needlessly bad spot to put yourself in.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I mean, I guess that's the situation where you go,
I can't tell anyone, that's the thing. The operations that
we did, Yeah, no one ever will know about. Maybe
they'll one seal it in forty or fifty years when
everybody's safe finally. But the things I did for the name,
they're not going to take accountability.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
For that, sure, all right, But I just want to
Swool what about?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, I wanted to keep you abreast of what's going
on in UH on Facebook and what I'm dealing with.
It's poor Julie Swool canceled.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I haven't told you about my current gym because I
moved and moved from like a non chain pretty small
gym to an even smaller, less of a chain gym.
And I'm very happy with this gym. It's it's very
(23:53):
clearly like the weights that are there have just been
accumulated over time. There was never, if were, at any point,
like a bulk order of matching weights with any kind
of logos that match the gym to them, and there's
like a rack of dumbbells and then there are just
milk crates of other dumbbells that have been donated or found.
(24:14):
It's run exclusively by a guy, and I guess when
he dies, the gym will close. And I love it.
I'm so thrilled to be there with the six other
people that go to this gym.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
That sounds great. That's when I first came to LA.
I was in a gym like that. It was called
in Burbank, California. It was called Miami Fitness, and there
were parrots there paring a lot of yah parrots and
if you try to touch them, they bite your finger.
And run by these three people who I'm pretty sure
we're all just coke heads, and they none of them
(24:47):
got along. They'll fought all the time. You'd hear him
yelling at each other in the gym, and it was
just like there were like twelve of us who worked
out in this place called Miami Fitness, and it was
the best gym I've ever been to. They close, I
don't know, I'd have to look it up. Ah, yeah, surely.
Once I left, the overhead was just too much margin
(25:08):
without me.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
There one other quick thing about my gym, and I'm
sure I'm an asshole about this, but there was an
advertisement in my gym for run with a park ranger.
And I was excited about this because I was gonna
(25:29):
run with a group and I like running with a
group every once in a while. We lived near near
a park shout out Sandy Hook, New Jersey. That's the
Sandy Hook where there wasn't a shooting. This is the
Sandy Hook where there's a beach. And the flyer specifically
said no beginners, which I never see on on like
every group run advertisement I've ever seen in my life
(25:52):
has been inclusive. All inclusive, doesn't matter what your speed is.
This is about fun. We're all gonna stick together. This
one was no beginners, and I was like, this is nice.
This will be challenging. Seven am run with a ranger
and I was ready to be challenged and like dusted
and there's a group of us there and the ranger
(26:15):
starts by saying, is everyone everyone comfortable with distance? And
I was like this is so fucking great. And I
was like, yeah, we're comfortable with distance and he said great.
So the way that I usually run is I I'm
trying to get faster in the back half of my runs,
so we'll start a little bit slow and then we're
(26:35):
going to pick up a pace. And I was excited
about that too, because that's something that I also struggle with.
I go really hard right out the gate and then
sort of plateau, and on race days it's always come
to bite me in the ass because I have nothing
left in the tank. I was like, this is gonna
be good. It's gonna get me out of my comfort zone.
We're doing distance, and we're already get faster as we go,
which is not the way I run. I'm so pumped
(26:56):
for this. We ran four miles, which is not what
you and I would call distance, and I don't want
to talk a lot of shit, but left to my
own devices, I am running comfortably sub eight miles. Wow,
(27:18):
And we ran ten minute miles. I was so unhappy,
unhappy that, like I was texting my wife, you can
tell this is a slow run because I can text
you while I'm running it, and she was like, oh,
you poor thing.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Don't be using sand. You're not in the sand right, No,
we're we're like.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
We're on a trail and we're like like running through
beautiful Sandy Hook and everything. It's not quite a tour.
If it was more of a tour than I would understand,
like yeah, we're just like sort of running and we're
learning as we're going. But it was meant to be
a run for non beginners at distance, and it was
four miles at ten minutes a mile.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Was everybody else around you being like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
No, there were four of us at the front of
the pack with the ranger, and then everyone else was
not even with us. They were way back with someone
riding a bike of the other ranger who.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Was ten minute miles. Was tough for some of them.
That was yes, sure, yeah, not begin No beginners, well
know what a bait and switch.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And that's where I don't know if like I'm if
I'm being insane with I don't know what what like
normal casual running is. I guess because I run a
few races a year and I'm never a top three
finisher of the race. I'm sometimes a top five finisher
(28:49):
in my age group, depending on if I'm up there
with the forty five year olds. That's when I could
feel competitive, But like you know, on race you're running
with what I feel like are other runners. But I
don't know if if someone who's running two or three
times a week, if if like what a normal pace is. Yeah,
(29:12):
and if I'm just being assold that I show up
bummed about a ten minute mile because at the end
of the day, I'm not like, we run forty five
minutes total. That's still forty five minutes running. That's often
because of my speed. That's often more time than I
would ordinarily run on a given day.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
But it's just like, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
This day, I ran forty five minutes and that's a workout. Yeah,
this other day I'll run forty minutes and it's five
miles and a little change, and uh, you know, six
and one a half dozen of the other.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I guess you're asking, Yes, am I gifted? Am I gifted?
Should I be in the Olympics?
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:55):
And I I think, Okay, So I talk to somebody
who is perhaps on gear No, but you're on fleet dan. Oh,
and don't let anyone tell you you're not. I talked
to somebody who is going to run a marathon. Shout
out to Joel Hurwitz, who I work with, who is
(30:15):
going to run a marathon. And when he was talking
to me, he was probably he was jogging at what
I assume was probably like a ten ten minute pace,
and he was like, the important thing when you're training
for something that's big is that you can talk as
you're doing it. And it's very easy to talk as
you're running, because otherwise you're going too fast. I'm like,
(30:36):
the biggest problem that everybody has. Like if even if
you wanted to speed up your current run and get
you want, like right now you're sub eight, but if
you wanted to be like down at like seven thirty
or something like that, pretty consistently, you go the other direction.
You're supposed to run really slowly but for a long,
long period of time, and then you slowly work up
towards it. You don't try and sprint to get there.
(30:59):
And Soady's explaining this to me as we're on treadmills
and I am completely gassed and like running, I'm only
playing to do like three miles, but I'm like, holy shit,
I can't. How are you talking right now? I's like, no,
that's the whole point of it. The whole point is
that you're supposed to be at at a rate where
you're not so burnt out that you can't talk as
you're doing it, and then you can go forever. I
(31:24):
guess maybe that's what I was training for. Maybe you
just came in the middle of it. Yeah, that sounds
like shit, though, I don't think I would like that.
It was really nice. At your bachelor party, we all
went for a run. We went for one of the
most gorgeous runs I've ever been on where we it
was awesome. We're in the woods and then the woods
opened up to the to the lake to Lake Champlain.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, and you're just on a path that is like
just wide enough for two runners side by side. Basically
it's so narrow. It was awesome, and you're surrounded by water.
It was a really great run. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
You head out onto the water and it's water on
all side and you're just on like this strand that
goes all the way out. It was so cool, and
it was a very windy kind of cool fall day.
It was. It was great top easily top five run,
but it.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Wasn't like everybody nobody on a Baxlor party wants And
I really appreciated that My squad came through and ran
or by.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
The run everybody had I mean we all finished at
different times, but everybody had a similar pace assemble. They
understood what the pace was gonna be that they either
kept up with it or they were like, I'll peel
off and go with the bikers. But like, even though
then those people were not were not like waiting around
for them. Everybody was of a similar caliber there. It
(32:37):
was great.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
I uh took out my camera to film because the
run was so beautiful and when you saw the camera out,
you came to run and like getting the shot being
a very funny person. Uh. And I said it to
my dad and dad it was like soar and faster
than you. I was like, god, fucking damn it. Uh No,
(32:59):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
When I was on my way to the bathroom, I
was yeah where I was like, listen, guys, I'm gonna
I'm gonna run ahead and go pee. And I sprinted,
just sprinted for like a mile ahead to go to
the bathroom. Well, okay, Daniel, I want to switch gears
a little bit here. Hey, yeah, a lot. Uh this
(33:20):
is we're on a new gear. And I wanted to
talk to you about there was a good portion of
your life where you were an actor where we would
be I cracked. We would write and then we would
perform in tons of sketches, sketches we didn't write sketches like,
and we would go to we would go to Calgary
or other comic cons and we would perform there. We
south by Southwest. We had sketch shows and then I
(33:44):
don't remember circumstances under which we all went left cracked.
It was a bunch of different things, but we all
left cracked at some point and.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
That all dried up.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
You didn't ever do stand up again, You didn't ever
act again. Do you still feel like you want to
or that the bug is still there?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Uh? Yeah, well well first starters. I have performed live
in like half acting half stand up for an indie
late night show on YouTube. Uh that is now called
Going Down with Ellie Yeerman. Everyone should check that out.
(34:25):
But they had me do a bit for them live
a little while ago, and part of me, yes, very
much misses like live performance stuff and I get very
excited doing it. Another part of me, I can recall
being on that stage and like my hands shaking uncontrollably,
and it was a situation where I wasn't wearing a
(34:48):
mic and didn't have a mic on a stand. I
was seated and sharing a mic, passing it back and
forth with a very funny comedian, Martin Urbano, and I
would like hand him the mic whenever I could, just
because I was doing everything in my power to not
have my hands visible because I think they were like
(35:10):
distractingly shaky if they were up. And the purpose of
my role in that show, my bit was I was
a hyper confident late night writer coming into school this
indie showcase. So I was like, well, I definitely can't
(35:30):
shake and cry, so like, the nerves are The nerves
are back in a way that I wasn't expecting because
we had performed so much that that faded away over time.
And I feel like it would take a lot of
time again for me to stop my hands from shaking
when I perform live. But I do miss it. I
(35:52):
would like, I don't know that acting in sketches.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
Is the thing for me?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Is the scratch? Yeah, possibly a return to stand up
or you know, I'd love to do some live podcasts
one of these days, if that were available. That's the
best format for my particular whatever it is that I'm
good at.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, yeah, I see that I can see us doing
a live podcast at some point.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Uh, like in Akron, Ohio somewhere we're like a real
fan base lives. We'll find out where the ten listeners
are and we will go to them.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
We'll go there. I think they're they're mostly concentrated in
and around where my parents live, and we will go there. Well,
why do you.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Ask I asked, because it's clearly a muscle that we
used to flex. It was something that we enjoyed, and
I would say we're good at it, like when we
would do after hours and stuff. At the time, it
was just another thing that you would do. But you
go back and you watch it and you're like, oh,
these are really funny performances. These are good. Obviously, nothing
compared to Swim. Swim is like one of the best
(37:07):
actors I've ever seen. He's such a good he's so
good at presentation, and but it was something that we
were really good at. So with that in mind, I've
brought to you, Daniel, some improv scenarios that you're going
to play along with with me, and you're is this
just real? You just have to go along with it.
(37:28):
You listen, don't yourself go like forty percent. Here is
there a.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Hidden bit or is this this is real? This is
this is what you want to do.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
I guess we're going to see so you know, go like, well,
we won't. We aren't. We're not gonna pull anything. We're
older men. Now we are going to go at It's
like forty percent to start. This is a ten minute
mile to begin. Okay, all right, So the scenario is Daniel,
you we've just come back from recess at a trial
(37:58):
in which you are uh, you have just been found
guilty of murder, and now we're back and uh, while
I deliberated on your sentencing as the judge, are you okay?
I'm the judge. Okay, everyone, welcome back. Please be seated now.
(38:18):
Mister O'Brien, you stand accused of some pretty heinous acts,
and I've had to think a long time about what
did you? Did you do push ups in the bathroom
during the recess?
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Sorry? Do I answer all the judges.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Questions you got?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Can I object objection relevance?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
No? No, overruled?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Did you do it?
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Looks like you you bulked up a little. Did you
go into the in your sweaty? Did you spend the
entire recess doing push ups in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Uh, yes, your honor, Why in my defense, Uh, this
is my first recess in a while, and where I
grew up. I don't know if this is regional, but
recess was it used to be like a very different
It was more physical the last time I did a recess,
(39:20):
and so I was just just going along with my
experience being very physical and sweaty. It used to it
used to be if I may encouraged in a recess
to sort of get out, uh the energy that I was.
I was frequently then. And now let me stop you
(39:40):
right there. I'm gonna stop you. Thank God, Daniel, it's
working for you.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Whatever there. You look fantastic. You know what, I'm exonerating you.
I think that this is this is dessert. You are
a go getter. I love I love what you're doing.
I love that you're spending this time. I was to
give you the death penalty, and you mean you knew
that you knew you had that coming, right, that was
common for you. And the fact that you still want
(40:07):
to keep your body in shape. I and you know
it looks great, So cordage earned.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
You're kind of call me a go getter. Guilty, not
for the not for the stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
But okay, all right, scene, why did we do this?
Because now I have another one for your ready?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
All right? You are? You are?
Speaker 3 (40:34):
I'm just these are little vignettes, Daniel. Okay, I'm just
setting you up, and I'm basically these are sketches I'll
never write. And you don't have to do much here, okay, right,
feels like.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I did most of the lifting in the last one
in terms of finding something to play.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Yeah, it's fun. Okay, all right. You are James Bond
and you're here for your annual re review. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Okay, So it looks like, wow, you've done quite a lot,
very impressive for this year. You saved England several times,
you saved the world a few times. That's all very impressive.
We've got lined up for you a two percent raise
and then that should be it. Maybe some options as well.
You can kind of look that over and just sign
it at your leisure.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Shandra of Living is scree percent at least. And that's
to say nothing of my exemporary walk. Oh that's my
Chanel Craig.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
By the way, James, you understand the situation we had
to do. There were a lot of new hires we
had to make this year. You were so avid adamant
about having more minorities on staff, and that's obviously a
lot of our course budget had to go there. I'm sorry,
it's just we can't. We can't go higher than two percent.
(41:57):
You rich tough, I mean you really not see the part.
But two percents pretty much all we can do.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
I find that hard to believe.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I mean, you've got all this, this's there's bloody money
for I don't want to say it, but DEI can
take shortly, we can take something from there, excise me. Wow,
everyone's gonna suggest I'll rub some money pennies together?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Are you suggesting that we take money from them and
give it to you? Wow? James, Wow, I'd like you
to leave. Here's the next one, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Sure, And I'm so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yeah, I know, I know. That's the whole point.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I feel like this is I feel like there's like
I'm gonna find out that these scenarios, like you're secretly
doing a personality quiz and at the end of this,
we're gonna we're gonna find out there's something wrong with me.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
No, that would have been uh that that'd been a
lot of work.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Are we just playing in games?
Speaker 3 (43:01):
You ready?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Fuck?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Here's your next one?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
All right?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
You are one of the were wolves they from Twilight
to Twilight and uh, I'm bella Swan. Yeah okay, and
we're at a baby shower and this is your baby shower.
You're you're a pregnant werewolf. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Good?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (43:28):
So, uh, congratulations. First of all, it's amazing glad that
you got some time to talk to each other.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Thank you. I'm just kidding. We don't really talk like that.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
It's funny though. Good. I'm just curious. Oh now yeah, wow,
you can smoke incredible much. I'm learning every single day now,
what you I mean? You guys, you should choose when
you turn into were wolves. That's pretty impressive and you
get to sort of decide on your own when you
do it. So there must be times where you're just
like really like you're feeling something. It's going really well,
(43:58):
and you just like, what if I just turned it
up a notch and became a were wolf? Right?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (44:04):
Huh? Like at a race, say, or if like you're
feeling sometimes when you really get your heart your heart going,
You're really going for it, and you're like, wouldn't it
wouldn't it be great if like, maybe just one of
us turned into a werewolf right now, or maybe both
of us absolutely like, well, you're with somebody else in
this scenario, do you ever?
Speaker 1 (44:23):
There aren't a ton of races where it's just one
of us.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Yeah, okay, and then and it's like, say you were
just with one other. I mean, first of all, baby
is so exciting.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Baby.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
I don't know what the gestations like or anything like that,
but I'm very excited for you. I don't know if
you do a litter or how that works, would it?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
I don't either. I haven't seen the films, but well,
I feel like you're dancing around something and I'd make
anything as a pregnant Uh, mama, alpha wolf.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
I think you should just get right to it.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Yeah you do?
Speaker 3 (44:54):
You sometimes? Do? You sometimes want to use a were
wolf and want of use that when you fuck?
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Oh yeah all the time. What are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (45:03):
That's so rad?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Rad?
Speaker 1 (45:05):
If you could, like, uh, when you fuck your weird
pale Victorian ghost freak up a boyfriend who's entries older.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Than you, well sixty years, sixty years, But.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Mazzle, is that worse? You switch positions from time to time.
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
You understand the concept of shaking things up. This gives
you a much larger wheel of things to play with. Yeah, okay,
boy wolf and girl wolf, boy wolf and girl girl
wolf and boy and I guess it's not all toun
of variety. I've run through most of them.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Yeah, but I mean the opportunities within each of those.
There's like a little facets I could I could really
see being great. Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I guess I'm in.
I guess is what I'm saying is I'm in.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
What are you saying at my baby shower?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
I want to fuck your husband?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Oh uh no, no, thank you.
Speaker 3 (46:10):
That's fine, that's fine. Most people gift that's my vampire boyfriend. Yeah,
that was the gift. But okay, that's fine. Or one
of your children, I could better bond early at one
of them and the and then when they grow up,
I just can like room them on the way and
then be's fall.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
And this is this is so interesting because it seemed
like you were there was like a real love between
you and Edward.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
But uh, it's always been deciding between do I goo vampire,
do I go were wolf? Who do I want to
have sex with?
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Right, But it seems in light of this, it seems
like you're more interested in just sort of fringe off
brand in many ways illegal or unethical. It's like vampire
were wolf and then this new wrench is baby wolf.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah. Well, let me ask you something is there is
there anybody else in the world that you know of
that was excited to fall in love with a vampire
or a werewolf. I already was on a an iceberg
by myself. Uh huh, you can't. You can't expect me
to not do a freaky shit.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Okay, yeah, I think what what we're what we're learning
at my baby shower is uh, just that the the
boundaries of freaky ship have expanded in a way that
I don't think anyone.
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Was expecting, Well mean neither. All right, listen, I gotta
head out, take this. This is obviously for the baby.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Gotta head out. It was like josuely see it peace
and then that's the end leaves of Daniel Shower. Early
we had a.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Thank you invertation these sketches with me.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
This was not fun.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
What do you mean, Oh, I gave you a scenario
which you were a a guy on trell who used
his recess to go do some pushups in the bath.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I was I was waiting. It's so tough because I'm
trying to Here's the game of chess that I'm playing.
Is I think that you're going to do something. A
curtain's gonna get pulled down, and you're gonna surprise me
in some way. And I'm trying to outsmart you if
that's the case. But I'm also the game what if
(48:31):
it's not. I I can't think too hard about that.
I also have to be a good improv seeing partner,
and it's a real conundrum. It's frankly too much thinking.
And then I was doing acset work and I had
that business with the cigarette that I didn't really think
(48:51):
of behind like, oh, it'd be funny if someone's smoking
at their baby show.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
You did great, that was a a plus performance.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Oh you know what it reminds me of. I think
it would be really funny if you sore and bowie
at your age and in the year twenty twenty five,
I think it'd be really funny if you started smoking
cigarettes like regularly, just like became a smoke crad one.
(49:22):
No one has any plausible deniability if they start smoking now,
like period, at any age. Yeah, and if just the
idea of you leaving work for a smoke break to
the shy of all of your coworkers.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Hey, it's very funny of me. A dad of small
children who picks up smoking is a very funnyman. And
you're like, I know I should probably stop, but I
just started. All right, Well, thank you for flaying the game, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Thank you. This was weird.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
Yeah, it's weird and awful for you. I think that's
what I hoped it would be. Okay, which is good.
I was gonna say I this all came up because
I was missing acting. This is the I try to
introduce this as the very worst version of it, where yeah,
it's no longer fun, it's not good.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
For either of us.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
But the main reason that I miss acting is that
I miss being on set and being told what to
do for twelve hours a day and not being responsible
for anything beyond that that. I am handled like a child.
I'm taken from place to space. People tell me when
to eat, they tell me where to stand, they tell
me when to do the thing, and I am not
(50:37):
in charge of a single thing in my life for
that day, and like, I can't go anywhere, I can't
do anything else, like beyond the limitations of the set.
So I'm there just like finding a furniture pad to
sleep on, looking at my phone. And then they're like, hey,
you got to be on set, and I'm like, okay, great,
and then I just got to go act for a
little bit. And I love that all those parts that
(50:59):
I had, Yeah, the parts you hated the most were
the parts that I fill in love with. As I
get up there, they're like, uh, makeup check, and then
I just stand there and someone comes up and fusses
over me. Oh, fusses over my face. And then a
director tells me, yeah, you look good, and I go,
thank you. Cue. No one's told me all look good
(51:21):
in years, Daniel, you look great. Sore in thanks man,
you don't mean that. I had to say it to say.
I know, Actually that's not true. I went to a
I went to a bar recently and a woman told
me she wanted to lick my teeth.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
Yeah that's right. Fuck you.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
All right, We've done enough.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Goodbye. Oh, good, quick quick question. You thought.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
I'm good? Quick quick question. It's not important.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I'm just by the week and talk tonight.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
So what's your favorite Who did you a Girl?
Speaker 1 (52:07):
What Not to Let a Overget?
Speaker 3 (52:11):
Or a movie Daniel Obrollian.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Two best friends of comedy riers.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
If there's an answer.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
That I'm gonna find, I think you'll have a great time.
I think you'll have a great time.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
You
Oh God, quick quick question. I want to hear your thoughts,
to know what's on your mind.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I've got a quick quick question.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
The answers not a port and I'm just by the
week and Talk Tonight.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
So what's your favorite did you get?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Daniel bro.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
See best Friends in Comedy here writ.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
If there's an answer that I cannot find it, I
think you have a great time.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I think you have.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
A great time.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You We're back on the show. It's a quick question.
It's the show with Sore and Daniel. Soren is a
writer for American Dad. I'm Daniel. I'm a writer for
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and we are we
are talking. We're talking podcast stuff, so and I want
(01:05):
to get right into it. Uh talking podcasts. Love.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I love our fucking filler. I love that both of
us do that. It actually, it makes me very happy
that you do it too, when I'm like trying to
transition and I'm like not really listening to what I'm saying,
and the things I say are incredible, and.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
We neither of us are generous about it, because like,
if you were talking and there's some filler, like the
generous thing for me to do would be to just
let you sort of go and then chime in. But
I'm gonna seize on it.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Like a heart, and you live there for you.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I just live in that space.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I will live there, and I will point to it
every time you go past it. Again.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, we uh, we record this podcast for your ears,
but also you can watch it on YouTube with your eyes.
And because I'm a warm sometimes, I read the comments
on YouTube and soaring. In our last episode, I was
wearing a sleeveless tune squad jersey yes, and someone in
(02:10):
the comments said that I was on gear, which, first
of all, I had to google.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Second of all, it means steroids. They said I was
on gear and trying to show off my arms, and
I guess, third of all, I'm not. And fourth of all,
I don't think. I mean I'll take it. I don't
think my arms looked that good. I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
It's hard to say when people are like, all right,
when people ask if you're on steroids because you got
is the response like, oh my god, that's so kind
of you. No not, or is it? Well, hold on,
give me the exact details of why you think I'm
on steroids. This is all this hideous back at.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Me I have. Yeah, right, it's a doctor who's like,
oh no, this has nothing to do with your arms.
It's your weird neck. That's a side effect of steroids
that I still.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Well so. And then the other thing I'm curious about
is the etymology of that word on gear.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, yeah, because first I I think in my brain,
I I don't know where it comes from, but I thought, uh,
gear meant heroin. And that's why I had to google it,
because I was because because somewhere something in my memory
was like, being on gear means you're you're on heroin.
It's like one of those heroin slangs, like like ghak,
(03:31):
where it's just like they all jumble in my in
my brain together from my time on the streets, was.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Back one of them. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It was a hero slane And this is about to
chime in on this.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
So gear is referring to heroin if I remember correctly.
But I think it's in kind of a general sense,
and it's in the same way that for steroids is
kind of interesting. It's like this is just considered part
of your equipment if you're an athlete, this is like.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Your bat or your back. Oh that's interesting. But it
was also heroin.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Because it was just part of like when you get
dressed in the morning, you put on your clothes and
you put on your heroin.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, here's all my gear. That's so. That's so kind
of athletes to themselves, just an alcoholic sneaking in booze
and being like, I've just got my juice, just.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Got my mettle.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
P I. The only reason that I know gagged as
heroin is that I was reading some probably the oral
history of Nickelodeon might have been the oral history of
Double Dare, and how like the creators behind a lot
of people who worked on early Nickelodeon stuff. It was
incredibly punk rock weirdos who were who were behind Nickelodeon,
(04:50):
And they were so stoked that the slime that was
used in Double Dare and a lot of other Nickelodeon
shows was officially called ghak, and they sold ghak for
a while, and they were so pumped that they snuck
in a heroin slang into their the their network of
(05:12):
children's shows. That's how I know. That's if anyone was wondering,
what is the most disappointing way that a person can
learn the gag slang term for heroin. It's the oral
history of Nickelodeon.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It's yeah, I mean, obviously a deep, fascinating, smart people, funny,
irreverent people like Dan Schnyder starting Nickelodeon. I'm behind I'm
behind all of them. You talk what he did running
around behind young starlit's John gat get get gat.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh, brother, Well, that's what I listened to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I have something actually that I want to talk about
based on that. I wasn't going to talk about this
because I'm I'm worried it. It sort of glances against politics,
but I think it is also very interesting. Daniel, do
you know who Joey Swoll is?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Joey Swol No, yeah, I can. I would guess uh,
a fitness slash wellness influencer who's probably big in the
MAHA movement.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay, you're not too far off. I think I might
have suayed you in a different direction only because of
the way that I did my little preamble of that.
I don't think he's maga at all. I think that
he is. He is a fitness influencer.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
He's sorry to jump in here. So maha, Make America
Healthy Again is Robert F. Kennedy's whole deal, And it's
a pretty big tent that includes fitness and wellness influencers
as well as anti vaxxers and racists so well. And
it's kind of a tense.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
We're not too far off because so Joy's Joey Swool
is as a social media influencer. I think he's pretty
big on Instagram. Obviously. As always, I catch all this
downstream on my preferred platform, Facebook, and I go into
Facebook reels and I just flip through it like I'm
changing channels and cable. And Joey Swol has come across
my page every once in a while. And he's a
(07:23):
guy who is essentially I think his job is he
is the arbiter of etiquette at the gym. Like that's
what he's decided his job is. So first of all,
let me give you like, let me just back up.
He's like a ripped dude, very very strong, strong to
the point that it's funny looking, you know, like somebody
who's so strong that when you see their whole body,
you're like.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Ah, so.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Is this is this ai?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Look at that? Look at that tiny head on top
of all that muscle he has, Like he's here seeing
kind of green eyes that I find very troubling, if
for no other reason than they are similar to my color.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I don't know. I'd have to look into like why
anyone who has that type of like like soft green.
I'm like, oh, fuck this person. He has a little
shaved in his eyebrow. I think maybe could be a scar.
But like I'm just giving you like a sense of
what this guy looks like. Always a backwards hat, always
a tank top, and is a fitness advocate obviously, and
(08:20):
he's like has always been i would say, steered on
the side of like helping people at the gym. He's
about inspiring people. He's about like anytime that. What he
does is he finds footage of somebody will take footage
holding there at the gym and they're like, look at
this creeper looking at me while I'm at the gym,
And he's like, Hey, that guy didn't look at you
once in that video. I think, leave everybody alone, Like
(08:41):
you're gonna put that guy on blast and he doesn't
even know it, Like, leave that guy alone. Same with
other there's guys who are taking pictures themselves in the
bathroom and someone will walk their frame and they'll say, hey,
can you turn that camera off? And the person won't.
He'd be like, we don't do this. And so he's
like he's fighting what he considers the good fight on
behalf of the gym. Sure, I don't think he's wrong.
(09:02):
Most of the time he's.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Doing this in person, or he is like putting up
a clip and he's a talking head about his blasting people.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
He's saying, you're people are saying this is wrong, and
he's saying, no, you're doing it wrong. There's a lot
of that, and then he talks about how you should
be inspiring every the gym. This is these are the
reasons nobody wants to come to the gym. Like, he's
got like this big ethos around Jim culture and how
to make it better. And in a lot of ways
I agree with him on that front. Now he gotten
(09:33):
a lot of hot water recently and has sense quit
social media. This guy who had like this this is.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
His whole career.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
His whole career is is this? Now? When I tell
you how he got into hot water, you tell me
at what point you no longer side with Joey Swell.
Oh boy. He when Hulkogan died, he did a tribute video.
There was no he didn't do, didn't talk about him
at all. He went to the gym dressed up as
(10:02):
the Hulkster like full BoA's like red, red and yellow Boa,
a fake mustache, the bandana, and it's just him doing
curls at the gym as as the Hulkster and there's
like a camera kind of swirling around him. Okay, you're right,
so far he's.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Still on boardant I mean, it's tough for the purposes
of this hypothetical. I was never on board. So now
I'm I have to, like, I have to pick what
I think is the second most outrageous thing that I
think he's going to do. Yeah, I'm fighting in the
weeds from my correct moment.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
So he is obviously within that that like jeice culture.
I don't maybe that's derogatory to say, but like that
jewe culture, just meatheads. Meatheads are so taken with one another,
and I think everybody kind of knows that. Like everybody,
all these guys who are very strong love other strong
guys because they know, I assume, because they know the
(10:58):
amount of work that goes into it. They appreciate what
the other person has done. They're basically just like, hey,
I see what you're doing, and like they want to
be friends. And they all have that kind of vernacular
that Hull Cogan seems to have invented of, like calling
each other brother yeah and uh and that like you know,
these guys, there's one at every gym. We used to
have one at our old gym when we went to together.
(11:18):
His name was Hawk because he was a gladiator. He
had been a gladiator.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I thought you were going to talk about I thought
you're gonna mention Keith because like Keith, Oh, Keith kind
of so strongly about because there were two Keith's in
our gym that we both knew pretty well and we
needed to distinguish them. And so there was Keith and
douche Keith and that was yeah, that was part of
that was.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
A product of him being pretty young too. He was
young and then got strong all of a sudden, and
I think that that can really mess somebody up. That's
like being a star early on in your life, where
you're like it changes you fundamentally in your brain. But
this Keith wasn't like Keith didn't have the like the
language and stuff that goes along with this. Julie Swall
is he's got that kind of like Jim bro mentality.
(12:08):
And really, I think at one point had met hull Kogan,
and hul Cogan was very kind to him and his
journey and everything, and he has since had like a
real admiration for him. But everybody obviously came for Joey
Swall when they're like, Hey, you talk about not being
a shit head at the gym, and here you are
a dressed as hull Cogan who used the N word
several times.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
And so he made a rebuttal video essentially where he
was He said, I'm okay, I'm gonna paraphrase, but but
please know that this is Jolly Swell talking and not me. Okay,
Joey Swell goes like this. He says, I don't know
what the big deal is, So I can't have I
(12:52):
can't have admiration for a guy who has clearly changed
the entire institution of working out. So what if maybe
twenty years ago he might have said something something weird.
I don't even know that's what I've heard. I've heard
twenty years ago. He said something crazy, and we all
make mistakes. I'm not god, I'm not I can't decide
who's good and who's bad. But he was kind to me.
(13:12):
And if you're gonna come for me for this, you
got to come for all the other colored athletes who
also supported him. End quote. So a lot to unpack, right,
A crazy new wrinkle to this development. Yeah, May I
(13:34):
go ahead?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
May I seize on other for a moment. Yes. If
I'm going to pick a word as my starting point,
this is.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Nice ramp up because obviously it's not the worst word
he used. No, we are in his zone where it's like,
hold on, there's a lot of grapes I have, so
let's just start at the easy one. Yeah, other athletes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Right, So considers himself.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I don't think he considers himself my but I think
he does consider himself an athlete, which is very funny
to me because it's clear that he doesn't know what
his job is. He doesn't know of it, like social
media is what made him his money. But yeah, he
very much considers himself an athlete, I think, and then
was mad that everybody came for him and not for I.
(14:21):
Think that there were probably and I assume other weightlifters
are something that also said a lot of kind things
about Hulkogan who were maybe minorities got it and was
mad that that had happened, that they're not coming for
them too, that he feels very singled out, but used
a word that has not this man is thirty nine
(14:42):
years old, a word that has not been in the
vernacular for fifty seven years, not since like the Civil
rights movement has this word been in the vernacular. And
very noveling word.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I don't even know if it's a word that racists
youse anymore. I think like double down on the worst words,
and this is one that we've just sort of, uh
we we've all collectively said goodbye to and good riddance to.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yes, this is one of those circumstances where he did
something he shouldn't have done. He could have just let
it blow over, but instead he doubled down. And boy,
I doubleding doesn't even feel right. Yeah, he really just like,
you don't think I can dig this hole deeper? Watch me,
watch me fucking take that. I'm so strong and said
(15:37):
that and everybody lost it. Everybody was like, what are
you doing, and oh, oh, Hulk Hogan's one of your heroes.
Oh interesting, I guess I could have predicted that. And
people were very upset for obvious reasons. And let's see,
I'm trying to think of where that stands now. Oh.
(15:57):
Then after that, he was like, I've tried to do
so much for so many people. I've tried to help
everybody through the years. Help I can't. I'm not racist.
I helped the black woman get a gym membership. And
this sucks. This sucks that everybody's doing this to me.
I'm quitting social media. I guess it's true what they say,
you either die hero or live long enough to see
(16:17):
yourself become the villain. Ah quoted Harvey Dead. But that's
such like a bro, like a gym culture bro thing
to do of like, yeah, I've heard this quote somewhere,
surely George Washington or somebody said, And so he quit
social media. Now he since, I think, walked this back
(16:38):
a little bit because people are like, no, Joey, you
helped so many people, what are you doing? And he's like,
I just I don't know. Maybe I'll be back later,
but I got to get my head right and I
think he's kind of trying to let this blow over
and then we'll come back. But because it's his career,
he doesn't have anything else going on. I don't think
maybe he's a professional wait in some capacity, but I
(17:01):
don't even think that that's true. I think this is
all like aesthetic for him.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah, all of that is very, very bad. I mean
it's social media is not the problem here, but it's
such a magnifying glass of probat like MAGNI say, twenty
five years ago, this Joey Swoll was just a guy
(17:28):
who was supposed to get fired from his job at
the gym or his job at the bar where he's
a bouncer, and then he was supposed to go home
and tell his buddies, I got fired because my boss
doesn't have a sense of humor. That's where it was
supposed to end. And then he was supposed to find
another job somewhere else. But now it's social media at times,
and he's a star, and he's now a victim of
(17:55):
cancel culture gone monk, and like again in this hypothetical
where it's twenty five years ago, So he gets fired
because he's an idiot and he doesn't know he doesn't
have a good enough sense to know why what he
did was wrong, but it's not going to affect other people.
He'll just find another job where that's okay. But now
everything is so heightened that he is just another piece
(18:19):
of evidence for this culture war to keep going and
self perpetuating. And I'm sure he'll end up on all
of the matosphere podcasts and he'll be a rising star,
because somehow they need more of those. You don't know,
it seems like there's too many.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I think you're right. I think that is the natural
trajectory of things. But this guy has spent so much
time advocating on behalf of women in the gym that
I'm like he would know better. I think that one
event isn't going to change all of that. But he
clearly doesn't know as much about race, and so I
think this is maybe a learning opportunity for all of us,
(19:01):
for him and us. I'm gonna give you one more
little detail about this guy that really might throw you
good friends with Dan Bilzarian. I'm pretty sure who oh
oh boy, you don't know Dan Bilzarian. That's right, that's
what who was meant to convey? Okay, boy, this is
(19:24):
gonna be way harder to explain. Dan Bilzarian is a
guy also I would assume just a social media influencer,
though I think he might also be a motivational speaker.
I don't know enough about him, but he's he is
very anti Semitic. He is a guy who lots to
take a lot of videos of him being like just
(19:46):
working on my book and it's him at an empty
desk with one page and a pencil, yeah, and then
two beautiful women in bikinis sitting on the desk with him.
His whole ethos is like, you surround yourself with beauty,
and you surround yourself with these gorgeous women. And so
he think he's paying a lot of young women to
be in bathing suits around him at all times to
(20:08):
make it look like his lifestyle is something that's achievable
and something that other men might want. He's also very strong,
He's a meathead. They just they can't get enough of
each other.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
And this was a friendship that was supposed to surprise me.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Well, I don't know that I did enough front loading
with Joey Swoll to tell you, like how much he
seemed to be an advocate of the right things in
the gym. Like early on, like it seemed like he
was trying to really stand up for people in the
gym and be like, let's make this a positive experience,
Let's make this good for everybody. And seeing somebody who's strong,
(20:46):
who gives a shit about anybody else of the gym
was a surprise, and he was really trying to make
it a good experience, seemed like. But he's got there
are some other elements of him where I'm like, oh,
may not be the type of person I thought you were.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, I think I would in need need to have
seen more examples, because the idea of someone making the
gym a better experience doesn't immediately scan as positive because
I need to know what their definition of a better
experience is. You know, like, I don't know exactly who's
(21:26):
side he's on in the gym, because you were just
saying that, Like someone was taking pictures in the gym
bathroom when someone walked by and he popped up in
TikTok and said, hey, we don't do that. I don't
know which thing in that scenario he is against.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Oh, you don't know, Okay, So if somebody who's taking
videos in the gym and somebody else walked by and said,
please turn that off, and the person would not, and
so he came in in the stitch. Then Joey's swell
comes and he's like, hey, stop taking videos in the
gym bathroom. Stopped taking pictures in the gym bathroom. People
don't want to be seen in the gym bathroom. This
(22:05):
is a huge invasion of privacy. And he talks about
it in the gym too. He's like, if you're gonna
do videos in your gym, and your gym does allow it,
then at least be respectful of everybody else around you.
If somebody walks through your scene, don't throw your weights
on the ground because you're upset because somebody walked in
front of your camera. And he's like, he's always on
the side of respect respecting everybody else who's using that
(22:27):
same space as you. So in a lot of ways,
like he would say things, I'd be like, yep, you're right,
you're right, you're right, and uh and then and then
now I don't say that anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Daples Area.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Just to give you another clue, this is a guy
who claimed for a very long time that he was
a Navy seal, never in the military whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Wonderful.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah, what a.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
What a very easily provable lie.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
What a.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Needlessly bad spot to put yourself in.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I mean, I guess that's the situation where you go,
I can't tell anyone, that's the thing. The operations that
we did, Yeah, no one ever will know about. Maybe
they'll one seal it in forty or fifty years when
everybody's safe finally. But the things I did for the name,
they're not going to take accountability.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
For that, sure, all right, But I just want to
Swool what about?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, I wanted to keep you abreast of what's going
on in UH on Facebook and what I'm dealing with.
It's poor Julie Swool canceled.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I haven't told you about my current gym because I
moved and moved from like a non chain pretty small
gym to an even smaller, less of a chain gym.
And I'm very happy with this gym. It's it's very
(23:53):
clearly like the weights that are there have just been
accumulated over time. There was never, if were, at any point,
like a bulk order of matching weights with any kind
of logos that match the gym to them, and there's
like a rack of dumbbells and then there are just
milk crates of other dumbbells that have been donated or found.
(24:14):
It's run exclusively by a guy, and I guess when
he dies, the gym will close. And I love it.
I'm so thrilled to be there with the six other
people that go to this gym.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
That sounds great. That's when I first came to LA.
I was in a gym like that. It was called
in Burbank, California. It was called Miami Fitness, and there
were parrots there paring a lot of yah parrots and
if you try to touch them, they bite your finger.
And run by these three people who I'm pretty sure
we're all just coke heads, and they none of them
(24:47):
got along. They'll fought all the time. You'd hear him
yelling at each other in the gym, and it was
just like there were like twelve of us who worked
out in this place called Miami Fitness, and it was
the best gym I've ever been to. They close, I
don't know, I'd have to look it up. Ah, yeah, surely.
Once I left, the overhead was just too much margin
(25:08):
without me.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
There one other quick thing about my gym, and I'm
sure I'm an asshole about this, but there was an
advertisement in my gym for run with a park ranger.
And I was excited about this because I was gonna
(25:29):
run with a group and I like running with a
group every once in a while. We lived near near
a park shout out Sandy Hook, New Jersey. That's the
Sandy Hook where there wasn't a shooting. This is the
Sandy Hook where there's a beach. And the flyer specifically
said no beginners, which I never see on on like
every group run advertisement I've ever seen in my life
(25:52):
has been inclusive. All inclusive, doesn't matter what your speed is.
This is about fun. We're all gonna stick together. This
one was no beginners, and I was like, this is nice.
This will be challenging. Seven am run with a ranger
and I was ready to be challenged and like dusted
and there's a group of us there and the ranger
(26:15):
starts by saying, is everyone everyone comfortable with distance? And
I was like this is so fucking great. And I
was like, yeah, we're comfortable with distance and he said great.
So the way that I usually run is I I'm
trying to get faster in the back half of my runs,
so we'll start a little bit slow and then we're
(26:35):
going to pick up a pace. And I was excited
about that too, because that's something that I also struggle with.
I go really hard right out the gate and then
sort of plateau, and on race days it's always come
to bite me in the ass because I have nothing
left in the tank. I was like, this is gonna
be good. It's gonna get me out of my comfort zone.
We're doing distance, and we're already get faster as we go,
which is not the way I run. I'm so pumped
(26:56):
for this. We ran four miles, which is not what
you and I would call distance, and I don't want
to talk a lot of shit, but left to my
own devices, I am running comfortably sub eight miles. Wow,
(27:18):
And we ran ten minute miles. I was so unhappy,
unhappy that, like I was texting my wife, you can
tell this is a slow run because I can text
you while I'm running it, and she was like, oh,
you poor thing.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Don't be using sand. You're not in the sand right, No,
we're we're like.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
We're on a trail and we're like like running through
beautiful Sandy Hook and everything. It's not quite a tour.
If it was more of a tour than I would understand,
like yeah, we're just like sort of running and we're
learning as we're going. But it was meant to be
a run for non beginners at distance, and it was
four miles at ten minutes a mile.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Was everybody else around you being like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
No, there were four of us at the front of
the pack with the ranger, and then everyone else was
not even with us. They were way back with someone
riding a bike of the other ranger who.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Was ten minute miles. Was tough for some of them.
That was yes, sure, yeah, not begin No beginners, well
know what a bait and switch.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And that's where I don't know if like I'm if
I'm being insane with I don't know what what like
normal casual running is. I guess because I run a
few races a year and I'm never a top three
finisher of the race. I'm sometimes a top five finisher
(28:49):
in my age group, depending on if I'm up there
with the forty five year olds. That's when I could
feel competitive, But like you know, on race you're running
with what I feel like are other runners. But I
don't know if if someone who's running two or three
times a week, if if like what a normal pace is. Yeah,
(29:12):
and if I'm just being assold that I show up
bummed about a ten minute mile because at the end
of the day, I'm not like, we run forty five
minutes total. That's still forty five minutes running. That's often
because of my speed. That's often more time than I
would ordinarily run on a given day.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
But it's just like, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
This day, I ran forty five minutes and that's a workout. Yeah,
this other day I'll run forty minutes and it's five
miles and a little change, and uh, you know, six
and one a half dozen of the other.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I guess you're asking, Yes, am I gifted? Am I gifted?
Should I be in the Olympics?
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:55):
And I I think, Okay, So I talk to somebody
who is perhaps on gear No, but you're on fleet dan. Oh,
and don't let anyone tell you you're not. I talked
to somebody who is going to run a marathon. Shout
out to Joel Hurwitz, who I work with, who is
(30:15):
going to run a marathon. And when he was talking
to me, he was probably he was jogging at what
I assume was probably like a ten ten minute pace,
and he was like, the important thing when you're training
for something that's big is that you can talk as
you're doing it. And it's very easy to talk as
you're running, because otherwise you're going too fast. I'm like,
(30:36):
the biggest problem that everybody has. Like if even if
you wanted to speed up your current run and get
you want, like right now you're sub eight, but if
you wanted to be like down at like seven thirty
or something like that, pretty consistently, you go the other direction.
You're supposed to run really slowly but for a long,
long period of time, and then you slowly work up
towards it. You don't try and sprint to get there.
(30:59):
And Soady's explaining this to me as we're on treadmills
and I am completely gassed and like running, I'm only
playing to do like three miles, but I'm like, holy shit,
I can't. How are you talking right now? I's like, no,
that's the whole point of it. The whole point is
that you're supposed to be at at a rate where
you're not so burnt out that you can't talk as
you're doing it, and then you can go forever. I
(31:24):
guess maybe that's what I was training for. Maybe you
just came in the middle of it. Yeah, that sounds
like shit, though, I don't think I would like that.
It was really nice. At your bachelor party, we all
went for a run. We went for one of the
most gorgeous runs I've ever been on where we it
was awesome. We're in the woods and then the woods
opened up to the to the lake to Lake Champlain.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, and you're just on a path that is like
just wide enough for two runners side by side. Basically
it's so narrow. It was awesome, and you're surrounded by water.
It was a really great run. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
You head out onto the water and it's water on
all side and you're just on like this strand that
goes all the way out. It was so cool, and
it was a very windy kind of cool fall day.
It was. It was great top easily top five run,
but it.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Wasn't like everybody nobody on a Baxlor party wants And
I really appreciated that My squad came through and ran
or by.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
The run everybody had I mean we all finished at
different times, but everybody had a similar pace assemble. They
understood what the pace was gonna be that they either
kept up with it or they were like, I'll peel
off and go with the bikers. But like, even though
then those people were not were not like waiting around
for them. Everybody was of a similar caliber there. It
(32:37):
was great.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
I uh took out my camera to film because the
run was so beautiful and when you saw the camera out,
you came to run and like getting the shot being
a very funny person. Uh. And I said it to
my dad and dad it was like soar and faster
than you. I was like, god, fucking damn it. Uh No,
(32:59):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
When I was on my way to the bathroom, I
was yeah where I was like, listen, guys, I'm gonna
I'm gonna run ahead and go pee. And I sprinted,
just sprinted for like a mile ahead to go to
the bathroom. Well, okay, Daniel, I want to switch gears
a little bit here. Hey, yeah, a lot. Uh this
(33:20):
is we're on a new gear. And I wanted to
talk to you about there was a good portion of
your life where you were an actor where we would
be I cracked. We would write and then we would
perform in tons of sketches, sketches we didn't write sketches like,
and we would go to we would go to Calgary
or other comic cons and we would perform there. We
south by Southwest. We had sketch shows and then I
(33:44):
don't remember circumstances under which we all went left cracked.
It was a bunch of different things, but we all
left cracked at some point and.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
That all dried up.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
You didn't ever do stand up again, You didn't ever
act again. Do you still feel like you want to
or that the bug is still there?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Uh? Yeah, well well first starters. I have performed live
in like half acting half stand up for an indie
late night show on YouTube. Uh that is now called
Going Down with Ellie Yeerman. Everyone should check that out.
(34:25):
But they had me do a bit for them live
a little while ago, and part of me, yes, very
much misses like live performance stuff and I get very
excited doing it. Another part of me, I can recall
being on that stage and like my hands shaking uncontrollably,
and it was a situation where I wasn't wearing a
(34:48):
mic and didn't have a mic on a stand. I
was seated and sharing a mic, passing it back and
forth with a very funny comedian, Martin Urbano, and I
would like hand him the mic whenever I could, just
because I was doing everything in my power to not
have my hands visible because I think they were like
(35:10):
distractingly shaky if they were up. And the purpose of
my role in that show, my bit was I was
a hyper confident late night writer coming into school this
indie showcase. So I was like, well, I definitely can't
(35:30):
shake and cry, so like, the nerves are The nerves
are back in a way that I wasn't expecting because
we had performed so much that that faded away over time.
And I feel like it would take a lot of
time again for me to stop my hands from shaking
when I perform live. But I do miss it. I
(35:52):
would like, I don't know that acting in sketches.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
Is the thing for me?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Is the scratch? Yeah, possibly a return to stand up
or you know, I'd love to do some live podcasts
one of these days, if that were available. That's the
best format for my particular whatever it is that I'm
good at.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, yeah, I see that I can see us doing
a live podcast at some point.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
Uh, like in Akron, Ohio somewhere we're like a real
fan base lives. We'll find out where the ten listeners
are and we will go to them.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
We'll go there. I think they're they're mostly concentrated in
and around where my parents live, and we will go there. Well,
why do you.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Ask I asked, because it's clearly a muscle that we
used to flex. It was something that we enjoyed, and
I would say we're good at it, like when we
would do after hours and stuff. At the time, it
was just another thing that you would do. But you
go back and you watch it and you're like, oh,
these are really funny performances. These are good. Obviously, nothing
compared to Swim. Swim is like one of the best
(37:07):
actors I've ever seen. He's such a good he's so
good at presentation, and but it was something that we
were really good at. So with that in mind, I've
brought to you, Daniel, some improv scenarios that you're going
to play along with with me, and you're is this
just real? You just have to go along with it.
(37:28):
You listen, don't yourself go like forty percent. Here is
there a.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Hidden bit or is this this is real? This is
this is what you want to do.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
I guess we're going to see so you know, go like, well,
we won't. We aren't. We're not gonna pull anything. We're
older men. Now we are going to go at It's
like forty percent to start. This is a ten minute
mile to begin. Okay, all right, So the scenario is Daniel,
you we've just come back from recess at a trial
(37:58):
in which you are uh, you have just been found
guilty of murder, and now we're back and uh, while
I deliberated on your sentencing as the judge, are you okay?
I'm the judge. Okay, everyone, welcome back. Please be seated now.
(38:18):
Mister O'Brien, you stand accused of some pretty heinous acts,
and I've had to think a long time about what
did you? Did you do push ups in the bathroom
during the recess?
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Sorry? Do I answer all the judges.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Questions you got?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Can I object objection relevance?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
No? No, overruled?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Did you do it?
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Looks like you you bulked up a little. Did you
go into the in your sweaty? Did you spend the
entire recess doing push ups in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Uh, yes, your honor, Why in my defense, Uh, this
is my first recess in a while, and where I
grew up. I don't know if this is regional, but
recess was it used to be like a very different
It was more physical the last time I did a recess,
(39:20):
and so I was just just going along with my
experience being very physical and sweaty. It used to it
used to be if I may encouraged in a recess
to sort of get out, uh the energy that I was.
I was frequently then. And now let me stop you
(39:40):
right there. I'm gonna stop you. Thank God, Daniel, it's
working for you.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Whatever there. You look fantastic. You know what, I'm exonerating you.
I think that this is this is dessert. You are
a go getter. I love I love what you're doing.
I love that you're spending this time. I was to
give you the death penalty, and you mean you knew
that you knew you had that coming, right, that was
common for you. And the fact that you still want
(40:07):
to keep your body in shape. I and you know
it looks great, So cordage earned.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
You're kind of call me a go getter. Guilty, not
for the not for the stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
But okay, all right, scene, why did we do this?
Because now I have another one for your ready?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
All right? You are? You are?
Speaker 3 (40:34):
I'm just these are little vignettes, Daniel. Okay, I'm just
setting you up, and I'm basically these are sketches I'll
never write. And you don't have to do much here, okay, right,
feels like.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I did most of the lifting in the last one
in terms of finding something to play.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Yeah, it's fun. Okay, all right. You are James Bond
and you're here for your annual re review. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Okay, So it looks like, wow, you've done quite a lot,
very impressive for this year. You saved England several times,
you saved the world a few times. That's all very impressive.
We've got lined up for you a two percent raise
and then that should be it. Maybe some options as well.
You can kind of look that over and just sign
it at your leisure.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Shandra of Living is scree percent at least. And that's
to say nothing of my exemporary walk. Oh that's my
Chanel Craig.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
By the way, James, you understand the situation we had
to do. There were a lot of new hires we
had to make this year. You were so avid adamant
about having more minorities on staff, and that's obviously a
lot of our course budget had to go there. I'm sorry,
it's just we can't. We can't go higher than two percent.
(41:57):
You rich tough, I mean you really not see the part.
But two percents pretty much all we can do.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
I find that hard to believe.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I mean, you've got all this, this's there's bloody money
for I don't want to say it, but DEI can
take shortly, we can take something from there, excise me. Wow,
everyone's gonna suggest I'll rub some money pennies together?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Are you suggesting that we take money from them and
give it to you? Wow? James, Wow, I'd like you
to leave. Here's the next one, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Sure, And I'm so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yeah, I know, I know. That's the whole point.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I feel like this is I feel like there's like
I'm gonna find out that these scenarios, like you're secretly
doing a personality quiz and at the end of this,
we're gonna we're gonna find out there's something wrong with me.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
No, that would have been uh that that'd been a
lot of work.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Are we just playing in games?
Speaker 3 (43:01):
You ready?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Fuck?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Here's your next one?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
All right?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
You are one of the were wolves they from Twilight
to Twilight and uh, I'm bella Swan. Yeah okay, and
we're at a baby shower and this is your baby shower.
You're you're a pregnant werewolf. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Good?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (43:28):
So, uh, congratulations. First of all, it's amazing glad that
you got some time to talk to each other.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Thank you. I'm just kidding. We don't really talk like that.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
It's funny though. Good. I'm just curious. Oh now yeah, wow,
you can smoke incredible much. I'm learning every single day now,
what you I mean? You guys, you should choose when
you turn into were wolves. That's pretty impressive and you
get to sort of decide on your own when you
do it. So there must be times where you're just
like really like you're feeling something. It's going really well,
(43:58):
and you just like, what if I just turned it
up a notch and became a were wolf? Right?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (44:04):
Huh? Like at a race, say, or if like you're
feeling sometimes when you really get your heart your heart going,
You're really going for it, and you're like, wouldn't it
wouldn't it be great if like, maybe just one of
us turned into a werewolf right now, or maybe both
of us absolutely like, well, you're with somebody else in
this scenario, do you ever?
Speaker 1 (44:23):
There aren't a ton of races where it's just one
of us.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Yeah, okay, and then and it's like, say you were
just with one other. I mean, first of all, baby
is so exciting.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Baby.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
I don't know what the gestations like or anything like that,
but I'm very excited for you. I don't know if
you do a litter or how that works, would it?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
I don't either. I haven't seen the films, but well,
I feel like you're dancing around something and I'd make
anything as a pregnant Uh, mama, alpha wolf.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
I think you should just get right to it.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Yeah you do?
Speaker 3 (44:54):
You sometimes? Do? You sometimes want to use a were
wolf and want of use that when you fuck?
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Oh yeah all the time. What are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (45:03):
That's so rad?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Rad?
Speaker 1 (45:05):
If you could, like, uh, when you fuck your weird
pale Victorian ghost freak up a boyfriend who's entries older.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Than you, well sixty years, sixty years, But.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Mazzle, is that worse? You switch positions from time to time.
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
You understand the concept of shaking things up. This gives
you a much larger wheel of things to play with. Yeah, okay,
boy wolf and girl wolf, boy wolf and girl girl
wolf and boy and I guess it's not all toun
of variety. I've run through most of them.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Yeah, but I mean the opportunities within each of those.
There's like a little facets I could I could really
see being great. Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I guess I'm in.
I guess is what I'm saying is I'm in.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
What are you saying at my baby shower?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
I want to fuck your husband?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Oh uh no, no, thank you.
Speaker 3 (46:10):
That's fine, that's fine. Most people gift that's my vampire boyfriend. Yeah,
that was the gift. But okay, that's fine. Or one
of your children, I could better bond early at one
of them and the and then when they grow up,
I just can like room them on the way and
then be's fall.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
And this is this is so interesting because it seemed
like you were there was like a real love between
you and Edward.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
But uh, it's always been deciding between do I goo vampire,
do I go were wolf? Who do I want to
have sex with?
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Right, But it seems in light of this, it seems
like you're more interested in just sort of fringe off
brand in many ways illegal or unethical. It's like vampire
were wolf and then this new wrench is baby wolf.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah. Well, let me ask you something is there is
there anybody else in the world that you know of
that was excited to fall in love with a vampire
or a werewolf. I already was on a an iceberg
by myself. Uh huh, you can't. You can't expect me
to not do a freaky shit.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Okay, yeah, I think what what we're what we're learning
at my baby shower is uh, just that the the
boundaries of freaky ship have expanded in a way that
I don't think anyone.
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Was expecting, Well mean neither. All right, listen, I gotta
head out, take this. This is obviously for the baby.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Gotta head out. It was like josuely see it peace
and then that's the end leaves of Daniel Shower. Early
we had a.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Thank you invertation these sketches with me.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
This was not fun.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
What do you mean, Oh, I gave you a scenario
which you were a a guy on trell who used
his recess to go do some pushups in the bath.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I was I was waiting. It's so tough because I'm
trying to Here's the game of chess that I'm playing.
Is I think that you're going to do something. A
curtain's gonna get pulled down, and you're gonna surprise me
in some way. And I'm trying to outsmart you if
that's the case. But I'm also the game what if
(48:31):
it's not. I I can't think too hard about that.
I also have to be a good improv seeing partner,
and it's a real conundrum. It's frankly too much thinking.
And then I was doing acset work and I had
that business with the cigarette that I didn't really think
(48:51):
of behind like, oh, it'd be funny if someone's smoking
at their baby show.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
You did great, that was a a plus performance.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Oh you know what it reminds me of. I think
it would be really funny if you sore and bowie
at your age and in the year twenty twenty five,
I think it'd be really funny if you started smoking
cigarettes like regularly, just like became a smoke crad one.
(49:22):
No one has any plausible deniability if they start smoking now,
like period, at any age. Yeah, and if just the
idea of you leaving work for a smoke break to
the shy of all of your coworkers.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Hey, it's very funny of me. A dad of small
children who picks up smoking is a very funnyman. And
you're like, I know I should probably stop, but I
just started. All right, Well, thank you for flaying the game, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Thank you. This was weird.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
Yeah, it's weird and awful for you. I think that's
what I hoped it would be. Okay, which is good.
I was gonna say I this all came up because
I was missing acting. This is the I try to
introduce this as the very worst version of it, where yeah,
it's no longer fun, it's not good.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
For either of us.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
But the main reason that I miss acting is that
I miss being on set and being told what to
do for twelve hours a day and not being responsible
for anything beyond that that. I am handled like a child.
I'm taken from place to space. People tell me when
to eat, they tell me where to stand, they tell
me when to do the thing, and I am not
(50:37):
in charge of a single thing in my life for
that day, and like, I can't go anywhere, I can't
do anything else, like beyond the limitations of the set.
So I'm there just like finding a furniture pad to
sleep on, looking at my phone. And then they're like, hey,
you got to be on set, and I'm like, okay, great,
and then I just got to go act for a
little bit. And I love that all those parts that
(50:59):
I had, Yeah, the parts you hated the most were
the parts that I fill in love with. As I
get up there, they're like, uh, makeup check, and then
I just stand there and someone comes up and fusses
over me. Oh, fusses over my face. And then a
director tells me, yeah, you look good, and I go,
thank you. Cue. No one's told me all look good
(51:21):
in years, Daniel, you look great. Sore in thanks man,
you don't mean that. I had to say it to say.
I know, Actually that's not true. I went to a
I went to a bar recently and a woman told
me she wanted to lick my teeth.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
Yeah that's right. Fuck you.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
All right, We've done enough.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Goodbye. Oh, good, quick quick question. You thought.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
I'm good? Quick quick question. It's not important.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I'm just by the week and talk tonight.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
So what's your favorite Who did you a Girl?
Speaker 1 (52:07):
What Not to Let a Overget?
Speaker 3 (52:11):
Or a movie Daniel Obrollian.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Two best friends of comedy riers.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
If there's an answer.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
That I'm gonna find, I think you'll have a great time.
I think you'll have a great time.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
You
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