Mitigating Risk and Maximizing Opportunity in Real Estate with Private Financing

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@OurBlackEmpowerment 

"It's All About the Private Real Estate MONEY - Jay Conner shares on the GetOnCode show"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyPBbR6KMuM 

 What do you do when your bank unexpectedly closes the door on your real estate deals? For Jay Conner, it was the catalyst for not only building a multi-million dollar business, but also a movement in financial empowerment. 

In a recent conversation with Seko Varner for the Get On Code podcast—an empowerment platform centered on Black empowerment and wealth—Jay delivered a masterclass on raising private money and the mindset needed to succeed in real estate investing.

From Bank Roadblocks to Opportunity

Jay’s journey began in 2003 with a humble start in eastern North Carolina. For six years, he and his wife Carol Joy relied on traditional banks to fund their house flips. Then, in January 2009, disaster struck: “We’re not loaning money to real estate investors anymore,” Jay’s banker, Steve, told him amid the global financial crisis.

Staring down the loss of his funding, Jay asked the pivotal question that changed everything: “Who do you know that can help you with your problem?” This led him to Jeff Blankenship, who introduced him to the world of private money, where individuals, not banks, finance deals. This lesson underscores Jay’s core advice: when you’re stuck, ask better questions and seek connections—your network is everything.

Private Money: It’s About Mindset

Jay is adamant that getting private money is first about owning “the real estate between your ears.” That is, changing your mindset from asking for money to teaching and serving others. Instead of desperately chasing investors, Jay suggests putting on your “teacher’s hat”—educating your connections about how they can get high returns through safe, secured investments in real estate.

Most of Jay’s 47 private lenders had never heard of private money or self-directed IRAs—tools that enable individuals to use retirement funds to invest in real estate deals, earning returns tax-deferred or even tax-free. By sharing knowledge and structure—not just asking for cash—he transformed relationships and built trust.

The Magic Script and Secret Sauce

One of the most actionable parts of Jay's conversation with Seko was his script for approaching potential private lenders:

“I have great news for you. I can now put your money to work. I’ve got a house under contract; the funding matches what you have available, and closing is next week. You’ll need to wire funds to my attorney’s trust account, and I’ll send over the details.”

Notice what’s missing? There’s no pressure, no desperate pitch. Lenders are brought in before a deal exists, educated on the process, and their comfort and trust are prioritized. “Desperation stinks,” Jay quips, emphasizing that deals go smoother—and faster—when you lead with value.

Growing Your Network for Capital

Jay identifies three sources for private money: your warm market (people you know), your expanded warm market (business networking, such as BNI), and existing private lenders. But he encourages starting with those you know, especially retirees who may have unused funds and are tired of volatile, low-yield investments. He even shared his favorite openers—sometimes just “I need your help”—to spark curiosity and find partners, not just financiers.

It’s a Win-Win

Jay’s approach goes beyond transactions—it’s about changing lives. He shared heartfelt testimonials from investors whose retirements were transformed by safe, solid returns. His message is clear: real estate investing with private money isn’t just about personal gain. It’s a ripple effect, empowe