Successful Real Estate Investments Without The Banks: Proven Lessons in Private Lending

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@KeshavKolur-CliveCapital

"EP. 32 - Fire Your Banker Alternatives to Bank Funds and Hard Money with Jay Conner"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_VOlONeAtw

 If you’re a real estate investor—whether just starting out or already seasoned—chances are you’ve wrestled with raising capital. Traditional bank loans and hard money lenders might seem like your primary options, but as Jay Conner shares in his recent conversation with Keshav Kolur and John Lai, there’s a powerful alternative many overlook: private money.

In this candid and insightful episode, Jay draws from over 23 years of real estate investing experience, breaking down exactly how he’s leveraged private money to transform his business.

What Is Private Money—and Why Does It Matter?

First things first, Jay clarifies: private money means raising funds directly from individuals (private lenders), not banks or hard money lenders. These lenders are real people—perhaps folks from your network—who are willing and able to loan money from their capital or retirement funds in exchange for an attractive, secured return.

Jay started his journey relying on local banks, only to have his “funding rug pulled out” during the 2009 financial crisis. That abrupt shift forced him to get creative. That’s when he discovered that teaching people about private money—and offering them a safe, secure way to invest—could open doors not just for him, but for the lenders as well.

He emphasizes, “I’ve never missed out on a deal for not having the money,” and has built relationships with 47 private lenders, raising millions without ever begging, selling, or convincing anyone. The key? Education.

Three Keys to Finding Private Lenders

According to Jay, there are three categories where you can source private lenders:

1. Your Warm Market: These are people you already know—friends, family, colleagues, folks at your church or local Rotary club, even your golf buddies.
2. Your Expanded Network: Go where money-minded people congregate. Jay highlights organizations like Business Networking International (BNI) for the rapid expansion of your connections and credibility.
3. Existing Private Lenders: These are individuals already lending money to real estate investors. While you can comb public records or lean on software solutions for contact info, networking events (especially at self-directed IRA custodians) are goldmines.

How the Process Works

Instead of racing to find funds when a deal appears, Jay builds relationships ahead of time. Private lenders don’t hand him checks directly—instead, their funds are wired to a closing attorney or title company, and each transaction is secured by a mortgage or deed of trust, protecting the lender.

Transparency and structure are crucial. Every deal is “one off,” and the lender’s investment is tied to a specific property. The typical return? Jay pays 8% interest, with no points or equity sharing, making it extremely appealing compared to traditional savings vehicles, even in times of rising rates.

Best Practices and Pitfalls

Jay’s philosophy is clear: “The money comes first.” Don’t fall for the myth that “if you find the deal, the money will show up.” Instead, secure your capital ahead of time so you can act confidently when opportunities arise.

He urges investors to build credibility and relationships. A “credibility kit” isn’t a substitute for integrity and real results. Your network—as Jay puts it—is directly linked to your net worth.

For private lenders, due diligence is important, but Jay’s approach is to work with people he knows, trusts, and has educated on the process. He also points out that most of his lenders had neve