April 1, 2025 • 13 mins
If your evenings feel like chaos—dishes everywhere, kids bouncing off the walls, and your brain completely fried—you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and in this episode, I’m sharing the evening wind down routine that helped me shift from total disaster zone to calm and collected.
Evening routines aren’t just for doing more—they’re for setting the tone for the next day. In this episode, I break down what makes a great wind down routine, why it doesn’t have to be long or complicated, and how to customize it for your season of motherhood. Whether you’ve got toddlers, teens, or you work shift hours, you’ll find realistic tips to help you recharge and finally feel ready for the next day.
Key Takeaways:
- Evening routines set the tone for tomorrow—it’s less about doing more and more about unwinding with intention.
- A good wind down routine should be flexible, short, calming, and include something just for you—even if it’s just five minutes.
- There’s no perfect routine—your routine should evolve based on your life season, energy level, and needs.
Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Want to feel more in control and less chaotic at the end of the day? Start your own simple wind down routine today and tag me on Instagram @realhappymom to let me know what you're trying!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I wanted to come by and sharewith you how to create a
evening, wind down routine thatprepares you for a successful
day.
Because I know that being a busyworking mom that you are, it can
be draining and you just want tofeel more in control.
So I want to share with you howI went from feeling like things
(00:23):
were a disaster zone because thekids are wired and the dishes
are piling up and I'm so tired Ican't even think straight to
actually having a wind downroutine that actually is calming
and prepares me for success.
So, um, I want this for you.
I hope that you stick to the endof this episode because I know
(00:45):
that it will help you too aswell.
So the reason why I think it'sso important for us to focus on.
This evening routine becausehonestly, moms tend to focus on
morning routines a whole lot.
You'll see a lot of things,especially online about um,
(01:07):
morning routines and how to havea successful one.
And yes, I do believe in havinga really great morning routine,
but.
Evenings is when you set thetone for the day.
The evenings is when youactually prepare for it the next
day, and I really believe thathaving an evening routine in
(01:27):
particular, a wind down routinewill help you set the tone to
have an even better morningroutine.
So think of this evening routineas like closing the loop for the
day.
It's gonna help you withclearing out the stress and
helping you to wind out mentallyand physically so you can close
out the day and be ready for thenext one.
(01:49):
And I'll be honest with you, agood evening routine isn't about
doing more because a lot oftimes we think of evening
routine as like doing all ofthese things, um, like I said,
to prepare you for the next day.
But it's really not about doingmore, it's about ending the day
with more intention so you canwake up ready for the next day.
(02:11):
So if you've been struggling toget consistent or you feel like
evenings are just pure chaos, Iwant to invite you to go ahead,
grab your notebook, or justlisten up while you're phone
close so you can get some tipsto help you with your evening
routine.
I see you if you're drainedafter work, dinner, kids
homework and bath time.
(02:31):
You just wanna collapse on thecouch and or just crawl into bed
and just be done with it.
And I'll be honest with you, Iknow that.
Decision fatigue kicks inbecause you're like, I know I
should prep for tomorrow, but Ijust can't.
'cause you're just mentallydone.
Or maybe it is the bedtimebattles with the kids, they're
delaying going to bed andthrowing your routine off and it
(02:54):
turns into this whole productionwith all of the tantrums, the
Stallings, and.
Multiple tuck-ins because thekids just don't want to go to
bed, which just leaves youfrustrated and just behind
schedule.
And by the time that it's timefor you to finally have some
time, all you wanna do is justgo to sleep.
Or maybe it's that you're justoverwhelmed by everything that's
(03:16):
left undone, whether it be thepiles of laundry, the dishes,
the unread emails, thepermission slips, all of those
things.
It can really just make it feellike there's no end at sight.
And so what's the point of ourroutine?
But I tell you, there is apoint.
Sometimes it's the moms that getstuck scrolling or get into the
(03:36):
Netflix chat because I know howeasy it is to get on Instagram
and just think like, oh, I'mjust gonna watch one or two, and
next thing you know, a fewminutes turns into hours and
you're zoning out and it's hardto stop once you start.
And then maybe you might evenfeeling like you're not knowing
what to even include in aroutine.
(03:59):
You're not sure what actuallycounts as well.
Wind down, maybe you don't evenknow what to include in routine.
You're not even sure whatactually counts as wind down.
And you're just feeling likemaybe this is just another rigid
checklist that you just need tocheck off, um, something that's
not really flexible or doablefor your life.
(04:20):
Well, I will tell you that thereare some things that you can do
to have a really great wind downroutine, and so I wanna walk you
through some of the key elementsof a good wind down routine.
Number one.
Having a good wind down routineis one that is predictable and
flexible.
(04:41):
Okay.
This routine should be helpfulfor you.
Um, and consistent that helpsyour brain recognize like, okay,
it is time to wind down.
It's time to get ready for bed.
It shouldn't feel rigid, um, orfeel like it's something that's
like really hard to do.
And I will tell you, you canswap.
(05:02):
Things out or swap steps out toshorten it.
Especially on those nights thatare really tough.
Like I said, when the kids justdon't wanna go to sleep and they
are just taking forever to calmthemselves down, think of this
routine as more so of a rhythm,not a necessarily a rule book.
Okay.
Number two, you wanna make itshort and sweet.
(05:25):
A good routine does not need tobe long.
A lot of times when I sayroutines, I can see moms just
thinking like, oh no, this isgonna take me all day.
But it doesn't have to be long.
It can literally take 10minutes.
Or even shorter if you want.
Um, if you have 30 minutes,which is plenty, that is great,
(05:46):
but aim for something that's loweffort, high impact, that
doesn't feel like a chore.
If it feels like another to-dolist, then of course you're not
gonna stick with it.
Number three is it shouldinclude something calming for
your body.
This could be something likestretching, a warm shower,
skincare, or sipping somechamomile tea.
(06:09):
Anything that signals to yournervous system that it is safe
to relax and physically slowingdown, helps your mind to follow
this too as well.
Number four is includingsomething that clears your mind.
This is a really big one for meonly because like I said, I have
a slight touch of A DHD and itis hard to close the tabs in my
(06:33):
brain.
So if you can do something likejournaling, brain dumping, just
writing whatever comes to yourhead, or even writing out your
to-do list for tomorrow, thishelps to.
Quiet down those thoughts andreduce the anxiety that you may
be feeling about the next day.
And this also helps with makingit easier for you to fall asleep
so that your brain isn'tspinning and keeping you up
(06:57):
longer than what you need to be.
Number five is that it includesa small action that helps for
tomorrow.
Simple things like laying outyour clothes for tomorrow,
packing lunches for tomorrow, orsetting up your coffee for
tomorrow is so helpful and sobeneficial.
I promise your future self willbe thanking you and praising you
(07:19):
for it.
These micro moves or micro stepswill help to create a smooth
morning and reduce the scramblethat you may feel in the
morning.
And lastly, my last and vinylone is something that's just for
you.
This could be reading a book,listening to music, doing a
(07:40):
puzzle, or even just coloring acoloring page, something that
helps you, feels your cup.
And this just reinforces yourneeds matter too, because you do
matter, even if it's just for afew minutes.
It doesn't even have to beanything major.
Okay.
This routine should feel like agift, not just another task on
(08:01):
your to-do list.
So I wanna walk you through whata sample routine, evening wind
down routine can look like inreal life.
Um, again, you wanna modify thisto make sure that it, it works
for you and your life and yourseason.
So this can take 15 to 30minutes, so.
(08:23):
This particular routine.
I have tidying up one or two hotspots in the house.
These are spots that you seeoften or have a lot of traffic.
Um, the next thing would be toprep for tomorrow by getting
clothes, lunches, and writingout a to-do list.
And then, um, some screen freewind down, which includes
(08:46):
reading, maybe journaling, ordoing a skincare routine.
And then lastly, something justfor you.
So you see, it doesn't have tobe anything major.
Very simple, very easy, but itis gonna be super helpful for
you.
So I know everyone is indifferent seasons, so I just
(09:06):
wanted to touch really quick on,a couple of different seasons
that you may, be going through.
so this one is.
For moms with toddlers or youngkiddos you wanna focus on
routines that overlap with yourchild's bedtime.
these wind down times can be acue to start your own wind
downtime.
(09:27):
and it helps if you can tag teamwith your partner, your spouse.
So that you can carve out just afew minutes for yourself and
then mom with kids that areschool age that are a little bit
more independent, like my olderone.
You wanna teach them to starttheir own evening routines.
I know that it.
It can be a little bit harder,but the, the quicker that they
(09:51):
get to be more independent, theeasier it gets for you.
So encourage them to have theirown independence with things
like packing their lunches,laying out their clothes,
because it helps free up yourtime.
And this stage actually willhelp you to reclaim more time
for yourself in the evenings.
(10:11):
Now mom's with teens.
I'm just throwing this outthere.
I don't have a teenager, but Ifeel like I do because of the
attitudes that's going on here.
But mom's with teens, Your kidsmight be going to bed later,
which just means less structurefor you.
So you want to carve out a winddown routine, um, that's just
for yourself, even if the kidsare still up.
(10:34):
And definitely communicate, um,boundaries with the kiddos.
So if they are going to bed alittle bit later than you, like,
Hey, listen, after nine o'clock,mom needs her quiet time, or
whatever time it is.
Um.
And like I said, definitely leaninto.
Routines that are gonna helpsupport your sleep and help you
(10:57):
to recharge.
And for the moms who have shiftsor work unpredictable schedules,
I see you.
Thank you for what you do.
Um, I would definitely saycreate a routine that works for
your end of the day.
It may not be at night, which istotally fine, but focus on cues
that tell your body it's time torelax.
(11:19):
this.
Routine or rhythm does notnecessarily have to be specific
to time.
You wanna keep your wind downroutine flexible so that it's
anchored to two or three actionsthat are gonna help you to calm
down.
Um, like anything that Imentioned before, as far as like
journaling or, um, drinking sometea.
(11:40):
And if sleep comes at all times,definitely invest in some good
blackout curtains or some whitenoise or some other calming
rituals to help you to have somegood rest.
So I, I want to encourage you.
To let go of the perfectroutine.
Your routines are going to shiftand grow and change as your kids
(12:04):
grow and change and as theseasons change.
And that's totally fine, thatthings ebb and flow.
But what matters is consistency,not perfection.
Even if it's five minutes, thatis a win.
And I also want to remind youthat you want to do what works
for you right now.
Not worked before or what hasworked for others, but work is
(12:28):
working for you right now.
I just want you to know thathaving this wind down routine is
really essential for you toreally set the tone and have an
awesome next day.
And.
I know that a lot of times whenwe get started with some of
these routines, we feel like ithas to look a certain way.
(12:50):
But just remember, whateverworks for you, just start small,
build up from there, and Iencourage you to share your wind
now routine with me.
You can share with me onInstagram by tagging me at real
happy mom, and definitely checkme back here for another full
episode.
Take care, and with lots oflove.
I wanted to come by and sharewith you how to create a
evening, wind down routine thatprepares you for a successful
day.
Because I know that being a busyworking mom that you are, it can
be draining and you just want tofeel more in control.
So I want to share with you howI went from feeling like things
(00:23):
were a disaster zone because thekids are wired and the dishes
are piling up and I'm so tired Ican't even think straight to
actually having a wind downroutine that actually is calming
and prepares me for success.
So, um, I want this for you.
I hope that you stick to the endof this episode because I know
(00:45):
that it will help you too aswell.
So the reason why I think it'sso important for us to focus on.
This evening routine becausehonestly, moms tend to focus on
morning routines a whole lot.
You'll see a lot of things,especially online about um,
(01:07):
morning routines and how to havea successful one.
And yes, I do believe in havinga really great morning routine,
but.
Evenings is when you set thetone for the day.
The evenings is when youactually prepare for it the next
day, and I really believe thathaving an evening routine in
(01:27):
particular, a wind down routinewill help you set the tone to
have an even better morningroutine.
So think of this evening routineas like closing the loop for the
day.
It's gonna help you withclearing out the stress and
helping you to wind out mentallyand physically so you can close
out the day and be ready for thenext one.
(01:49):
And I'll be honest with you, agood evening routine isn't about
doing more because a lot oftimes we think of evening
routine as like doing all ofthese things, um, like I said,
to prepare you for the next day.
But it's really not about doingmore, it's about ending the day
with more intention so you canwake up ready for the next day.
(02:11):
So if you've been struggling toget consistent or you feel like
evenings are just pure chaos, Iwant to invite you to go ahead,
grab your notebook, or justlisten up while you're phone
close so you can get some tipsto help you with your evening
routine.
I see you if you're drainedafter work, dinner, kids
homework and bath time.
(02:31):
You just wanna collapse on thecouch and or just crawl into bed
and just be done with it.
And I'll be honest with you, Iknow that.
Decision fatigue kicks inbecause you're like, I know I
should prep for tomorrow, but Ijust can't.
'cause you're just mentallydone.
Or maybe it is the bedtimebattles with the kids, they're
delaying going to bed andthrowing your routine off and it
(02:54):
turns into this whole productionwith all of the tantrums, the
Stallings, and.
Multiple tuck-ins because thekids just don't want to go to
bed, which just leaves youfrustrated and just behind
schedule.
And by the time that it's timefor you to finally have some
time, all you wanna do is justgo to sleep.
Or maybe it's that you're justoverwhelmed by everything that's
(03:16):
left undone, whether it be thepiles of laundry, the dishes,
the unread emails, thepermission slips, all of those
things.
It can really just make it feellike there's no end at sight.
And so what's the point of ourroutine?
But I tell you, there is apoint.
Sometimes it's the moms that getstuck scrolling or get into the
(03:36):
Netflix chat because I know howeasy it is to get on Instagram
and just think like, oh, I'mjust gonna watch one or two, and
next thing you know, a fewminutes turns into hours and
you're zoning out and it's hardto stop once you start.
And then maybe you might evenfeeling like you're not knowing
what to even include in aroutine.
(03:59):
You're not sure what actuallycounts as well.
Wind down, maybe you don't evenknow what to include in routine.
You're not even sure whatactually counts as wind down.
And you're just feeling likemaybe this is just another rigid
checklist that you just need tocheck off, um, something that's
not really flexible or doablefor your life.
(04:20):
Well, I will tell you that thereare some things that you can do
to have a really great wind downroutine, and so I wanna walk you
through some of the key elementsof a good wind down routine.
Number one.
Having a good wind down routineis one that is predictable and
flexible.
(04:41):
Okay.
This routine should be helpfulfor you.
Um, and consistent that helpsyour brain recognize like, okay,
it is time to wind down.
It's time to get ready for bed.
It shouldn't feel rigid, um, orfeel like it's something that's
like really hard to do.
And I will tell you, you canswap.
(05:02):
Things out or swap steps out toshorten it.
Especially on those nights thatare really tough.
Like I said, when the kids justdon't wanna go to sleep and they
are just taking forever to calmthemselves down, think of this
routine as more so of a rhythm,not a necessarily a rule book.
Okay.
Number two, you wanna make itshort and sweet.
(05:25):
A good routine does not need tobe long.
A lot of times when I sayroutines, I can see moms just
thinking like, oh no, this isgonna take me all day.
But it doesn't have to be long.
It can literally take 10minutes.
Or even shorter if you want.
Um, if you have 30 minutes,which is plenty, that is great,
(05:46):
but aim for something that's loweffort, high impact, that
doesn't feel like a chore.
If it feels like another to-dolist, then of course you're not
gonna stick with it.
Number three is it shouldinclude something calming for
your body.
This could be something likestretching, a warm shower,
skincare, or sipping somechamomile tea.
(06:09):
Anything that signals to yournervous system that it is safe
to relax and physically slowingdown, helps your mind to follow
this too as well.
Number four is includingsomething that clears your mind.
This is a really big one for meonly because like I said, I have
a slight touch of A DHD and itis hard to close the tabs in my
(06:33):
brain.
So if you can do something likejournaling, brain dumping, just
writing whatever comes to yourhead, or even writing out your
to-do list for tomorrow, thishelps to.
Quiet down those thoughts andreduce the anxiety that you may
be feeling about the next day.
And this also helps with makingit easier for you to fall asleep
so that your brain isn'tspinning and keeping you up
(06:57):
longer than what you need to be.
Number five is that it includesa small action that helps for
tomorrow.
Simple things like laying outyour clothes for tomorrow,
packing lunches for tomorrow, orsetting up your coffee for
tomorrow is so helpful and sobeneficial.
I promise your future self willbe thanking you and praising you
(07:19):
for it.
These micro moves or micro stepswill help to create a smooth
morning and reduce the scramblethat you may feel in the
morning.
And lastly, my last and vinylone is something that's just for
you.
This could be reading a book,listening to music, doing a
(07:40):
puzzle, or even just coloring acoloring page, something that
helps you, feels your cup.
And this just reinforces yourneeds matter too, because you do
matter, even if it's just for afew minutes.
It doesn't even have to beanything major.
Okay.
This routine should feel like agift, not just another task on
(08:01):
your to-do list.
So I wanna walk you through whata sample routine, evening wind
down routine can look like inreal life.
Um, again, you wanna modify thisto make sure that it, it works
for you and your life and yourseason.
So this can take 15 to 30minutes, so.
(08:23):
This particular routine.
I have tidying up one or two hotspots in the house.
These are spots that you seeoften or have a lot of traffic.
Um, the next thing would be toprep for tomorrow by getting
clothes, lunches, and writingout a to-do list.
And then, um, some screen freewind down, which includes
(08:46):
reading, maybe journaling, ordoing a skincare routine.
And then lastly, something justfor you.
So you see, it doesn't have tobe anything major.
Very simple, very easy, but itis gonna be super helpful for
you.
So I know everyone is indifferent seasons, so I just
(09:06):
wanted to touch really quick on,a couple of different seasons
that you may, be going through.
so this one is.
For moms with toddlers or youngkiddos you wanna focus on
routines that overlap with yourchild's bedtime.
these wind down times can be acue to start your own wind
downtime.
(09:27):
and it helps if you can tag teamwith your partner, your spouse.
So that you can carve out just afew minutes for yourself and
then mom with kids that areschool age that are a little bit
more independent, like my olderone.
You wanna teach them to starttheir own evening routines.
I know that it.
It can be a little bit harder,but the, the quicker that they
(09:51):
get to be more independent, theeasier it gets for you.
So encourage them to have theirown independence with things
like packing their lunches,laying out their clothes,
because it helps free up yourtime.
And this stage actually willhelp you to reclaim more time
for yourself in the evenings.
(10:11):
Now mom's with teens.
I'm just throwing this outthere.
I don't have a teenager, but Ifeel like I do because of the
attitudes that's going on here.
But mom's with teens, Your kidsmight be going to bed later,
which just means less structurefor you.
So you want to carve out a winddown routine, um, that's just
for yourself, even if the kidsare still up.
(10:34):
And definitely communicate, um,boundaries with the kiddos.
So if they are going to bed alittle bit later than you, like,
Hey, listen, after nine o'clock,mom needs her quiet time, or
whatever time it is.
Um.
And like I said, definitely leaninto.
Routines that are gonna helpsupport your sleep and help you
(10:57):
to recharge.
And for the moms who have shiftsor work unpredictable schedules,
I see you.
Thank you for what you do.
Um, I would definitely saycreate a routine that works for
your end of the day.
It may not be at night, which istotally fine, but focus on cues
that tell your body it's time torelax.
(11:19):
this.
Routine or rhythm does notnecessarily have to be specific
to time.
You wanna keep your wind downroutine flexible so that it's
anchored to two or three actionsthat are gonna help you to calm
down.
Um, like anything that Imentioned before, as far as like
journaling or, um, drinking sometea.
(11:40):
And if sleep comes at all times,definitely invest in some good
blackout curtains or some whitenoise or some other calming
rituals to help you to have somegood rest.
So I, I want to encourage you.
To let go of the perfectroutine.
Your routines are going to shiftand grow and change as your kids
(12:04):
grow and change and as theseasons change.
And that's totally fine, thatthings ebb and flow.
But what matters is consistency,not perfection.
Even if it's five minutes, thatis a win.
And I also want to remind youthat you want to do what works
for you right now.
Not worked before or what hasworked for others, but work is
(12:28):
working for you right now.
I just want you to know thathaving this wind down routine is
really essential for you toreally set the tone and have an
awesome next day.
And.
I know that a lot of times whenwe get started with some of
these routines, we feel like ithas to look a certain way.
(12:50):
But just remember, whateverworks for you, just start small,
build up from there, and Iencourage you to share your wind
now routine with me.
You can share with me onInstagram by tagging me at real
happy mom, and definitely checkme back here for another full
episode.
Take care, and with lots oflove.
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