5 Things I Stopped Wasting My Time on After Divorce (And You Should Too!)

It’s officially March—the season where everyone wakes up from their post-holiday haze and finally feels ready to take action. But let’s be real: sometimes the biggest shift isn’t about adding more to your plate—it’s about clearing out the sh*t that’s been draining you.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the 5 biggest time-wasters I stopped giving my energy to as a divorced woman—things I used to obsess over until I realized they were doing nothing for me (except keeping me stuck). If you’re still caught up in any of these, consider this your permission slip to LET. IT. GO.

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The waitlist for Your Greatest Comeback is officially OPEN! This 8-week self-paced program is designed to take you from just surviving after divorce to stepping into your next-level life—without overthinking yourself into oblivion.

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We’re talking:

✔️ Why checking your ex’s socials is the biggest waste of your energy

✔️ The sneaky way you might still be seeking validation (and how to stop)

✔️ Why forcing friendships post-divorce is a no-go

✔️ The outdated timeline myths keeping you stuck

✔️ How to stop glorifying struggle and step into ease & alignment

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
All right y'all.
It's March the season where everyonesuddenly realizes they actually
do wanna change their lives.
We are past the holiday slump.
We've survived the weird limbo.
That is February, and now there's this.
Energy in the air.
This itch to take action, at least forme to finally do the things that we

(00:23):
said that we were gonna do in January.
And I love this for you.
I really do.
In fact, I've been on Instagramall week sharing a full seven days
of actions that you can take rightnow to get unstuck after divorce.
So if you need a littlekickstart, a little plan.
Designed by me.
Go check that out after this episode.

(00:44):
But today we're flipping it.
Instead of talking about what youshould be doing, I kind of also wanted
to give some guideposts and talkabout what you should stop wasting
your damn time on, because let's bereal, sometimes the biggest shift
isn't about adding more to your plate.
It's about removing.
Things that are draining you, keeping youstuck are just straight up irrelevant to

(01:08):
the life that you're actually building.
And once we can get through those andclear that out, we open up so much
space for the magic, for the juicinessof abundance to come and find you.
And to really compliment all of thiswork that you've been doing on yourself.
So I'm sharing five things that I do notwaste my time on as a divorced woman.

(01:34):
Things that I used to stressover, obsess over, pour my
energy into until I realize that.
Well, they were doing nothing for me,and actually they were doing something.
They were draining my MF energy.
Okay?
And if you're still caughtup in any of these, this is
your sign to let it go, sis.
Let's get into it.

(01:56):
You are listening to HerHeart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hi, I'm Christina Cuevas.
Seven years ago I went through a divorceand it completely turned my world
upside down and I'm so glad it did.
I documented my healing to shareinformation with other women going
through their own divorce journey and now.

(02:17):
With thousands of downloads around theworld from divorced women just like you.
I'm here to show you how to ditchthe shame around divorce and
finally heal so that you can regainthe confidence to create your
most abundant and joyful future.
I'm so glad you're here.
This is her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.
Listen, there was a time when I wasbasically a private investigator.

(02:41):
My girlfriends and I would jokeall the time that we should have
like gone into law school or becomelawyers or PIs because we could
figure out anything about anyone.
And it was a talent.
Honestly.
It was a talent.
But the first thing that I do not wastemy time on as a busy divorce woman
is overanalyzing what my ex is doing.

(03:03):
Or analyzing it at all.
Checking socials, decoding cryptic posts.
You know who you are.
Trying to figure out if that onequote that he reposted was about
me, or what his new chick is up to,and her stalking my Instagram page.
No thanks.
Like sometimes now I forget that Ieven was married like it's so wild

(03:28):
because I truly do not care, andthat's when I started feeling free.
The real flex is not caring.
And it's not about pretending you actuallyreach a point where their life is just.
So irrelevant to you and it feels so good.
You are setting yourself free.

(03:49):
And so if you're still spiralingover what your ex is doing,
I'm talking to you, miss.
Ma'am, this is your reminder.
Your future is forward, not backward.
Let them go.
Okay?
The second thing that I don't wastemy time on is trying to win the
approval of people who don't get it.

(04:11):
What do I mean by that?
Okay.
You know those peoplewho just don't get it.
Maybe it's family members who think youshould have stayed married or friends
who don't support your new vision, oryou try to explain something to them and
maybe you feel a little bit silly aboutwhat your plans are, or random coworkers

(04:31):
who have so many opinions on your life.
Here's what I've learned.
Not everyone deserves an explanation.
And the people that reallysupport you, they don't need one.
And the people that judge you, well,they're gonna judge you no matter what.
So I stopped wasting my time trying toprove myself to people who aren't even.

(04:54):
The target audience, ifyou will, for my happiness.
It's like if you don't understand thismission, you don't see the grind, you
don't see what I'm all about, thenit's like I don't owe you anything
and you don't owe me anything either.
You know, we're cool, we're cool.
You just be over there.

(05:14):
All right, quick pause because ifyou're listening to this thinking, oh
my God, yes, I need to stop wastingmy time on this shit, then you need
to hear about your greatest comeback.
This isn't a divorce rehab course.
Nope.
This is a change your life inyour second chapter course.
Okay, let me say this louderfor the people in the back.
This is not another genericpersonal development course.

(05:37):
It's the only personal growth programthat's designed exclusively for divorced
women by a divorced woman, becauselet's be real, no one wants to be
in this club, but since we're here.
We're gonna make damn sure oursecond chapter is the best one yet.
And if you are here on this missionwith me, I know that you want that too.

(05:58):
So if you want first dibs when itdrops, plus a special discount,
get on the wait list right now.
The link is in the show notes.
It's not gonna be openfor very much longer.
Let's do this.
Let me tell you something.
There is no right timeline for your life,and so that's why the third thing that
I do not waste my time on is stressingover traditional timelines, right?

(06:21):
Like I think that's, there's enoughshame in going through a divorce
where you are stressing over that.
Timeline because youthink you got it wrong.
I used to think that I was behindbecause I wasn't checking all
the boxes at the right ages,marriage, kids house, whatever.
You know, the white picket fence, itall goes into traditional timelines.

(06:42):
But you know what's worse thanbeing behind, rushing into a life
that isn't even aligned with you?
Just to find out later down the line.
Like, fuck, I'm actually not happy at all.
So, and I know so many people,it's like, why is it a norm that
their people have midlife crisises?

(07:03):
Because at the end of the day, theydid everything that they thought
that they were supposed to do.
And then halfway through their life,they're like, fuck, I don't even want.
You know, all of this, I want over here,I want this, I want fun, I want joy.
That's why like so many men go out and buylike the red sports car at mid-age because
they're like, fuck, I just wanna have fun.

(07:23):
And it's like if we just make thesethings fun, joy, things that make us truly
happy part of our lives from the get go.
Then, well, you can kind of avoid, uh,any type of disaster later in life.
So, just a reminder,your timeline is yours.
If you are meant to have something, it'llhappen in your divine timing period.

(07:47):
End of story.
Okay, next one.
Forcing friendships that feel draining.
Ooh.
And actually I have to tell you too,this episode is a little bit spicy.
If you haven't noticed.
I am about to start my period,and so things are just kind of
coming out, but I feel like it'stotally fitting for this episode.

(08:07):
Okay.
Back to forcing friendshipsthat feel draining.
And if I could go back and tellmy past self one thing, it would
be this, is that if it feels likea one-sided relationship, it is.
After divorce, your social circleshifts and some people won't
make the cut, and that's okay.

(08:28):
You do not have to keep entertainingpeople who drain your energy,
who make you feel like a backupplan or just don't align with
the person that you're becoming.
Kind of going back to item number, wasit two or three where it's like, you
know, people who just don't get it.
They don't get it right?
So I'd rather be alone andsipping my bougie coffee than
surrounded by the wrong energy.

(08:50):
In Spanish, we have this saying,
and that just means better offalone than being accompanied
by someone who doesn't get it.
So for the longest time I thoughtthat I had to earn my happiness by
struggling, and this is the big one.

(09:11):
So number five, gettinginto closing it out.
Of things that I no longer do as adivorced woman, and that's believing
that struggle equals my worthiness.
And this belief was like if Iwasn't suffering, I wasn't worthy
of success or joy or love, andthat you always had to like earn

(09:36):
it through this really hard work.
I don't know if that's just likecoming from a family of immigrants.
Um.
Or if that's something thatjust all of us feel from people
who have really hardworkingparents or a hardworking family.
And what I've learnedis that that's a lie.

(09:57):
It is a deeply ingrained lie.
And it is a lie.
Not only that's just affecting yourmental state, but it's actually a block.
And this block is helping you to recreate.
Situations in your life that causeyou to struggle, and that's why all
of this, you know, peace, love, flow.

(10:19):
That's why it's actually trulyunattainable for the people that are
holding onto this belief and have itso deeply ingrained in their life.
Because you will never get therebecause even if you got all the
money and all of that, you're stillgoing to create situations that
require you to struggle because,well, that's what you're projecting.

(10:43):
Life doesn't have to behard to be meaningful.
And in fact, this was the hardestthing for me to really understand and.
Rebuild my life around.
You don't have to struggleyour way to happiness.
You are allowed to embrace ease,flow, alignment, and the sooner
you stop glorifying the struggle,the sooner you actually start.

(11:07):
Living and if this one hit home foryou, you're gonna love your greatest
comeback because this is exactly what Ihelp you unlearn inside of the program.
We're rewriting the script completelyon what life after divorce looks like.
And if you're ready forthat, you know what to do.
Get on the wait list now.
Links in the show notes.

(11:30):
So there you have it.
Five things I do not waste mytime on as a divorced woman.
If you're still holding onto any ofthese, this is your permission slip to.
Hmm.
Well let that shit go and if you're reallyready to step into your comeback era and
do it the right way and save yourself alot of time, don't forget to get on the

(11:53):
wait list for your greatest comeback.
I'm telling you, it'sgonna change your life.
Also if this episode hit home foryou, make sure to hit subscribe
so you don't miss the next one andcome hang out with me on Instagram.
I'd love to hear which one ofthese actually hit you the hardest.
Like I love going deep with you guys.
When you guys share like some of theones in the aha moments, it's the best.

(12:17):
So let's keep the conversation going.
Until next time, go protect your energyand stop wasting your time, girl.