October 18, 2024 • 23 mins
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In this empowering episode of Her Heart Heals Divorce Radio, host Christina Cuevas shares the 7 transformative habits that successful divorced women practice to heal, rebuild, and thrive after divorce. Whether you're in the early stages of healing or years post-divorce, these practical habits can help you move from survival mode to becoming the confident, powerful woman you are destined to be.
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The waitlist for Your Greatest Comeback is officially OPEN! This 8-week self-paced program is designed to take you from just surviving after divorce to stepping into your next-level life—without overthinking yourself into oblivion.
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Tune in as Christina breaks down each habit, explains why it’s crucial to your growth, and provides real-life examples of how these principles have changed the lives of countless women, including her own. These habits have not only reshaped Christina’s journey but have helped her clients double their business revenue, set stronger boundaries, and rediscover peace.
Episode Highlights:
- Christina’s personal journey from divorce to building a life of purpose, success, and peace.
- The power of ruthless self-care and how it can change your life.
- Setting unapologetic boundaries to protect your energy and thrive.
- How taking calculated risks can propel your life forward after divorce.
- The importance of self-awareness and reflection to recognize signs from the universe.
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Loved this episode? Be sure to subscribe to Rebuilding YOU for more life-changing insights and inspiration. If you found this episode helpful, leave us a review and share it with someone who needs to hear it!
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Quotes:
- “Comfort zones are where dreams go to die. The women who thrive after divorce are the ones who know when and how to take calculated risks.”
- “Boundaries aren’t just about saying no to others, they’re about saying yes to yourself.”
Listen now and start implementing these habits to become the most effective, powerful, and healed version of yourself!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Are we rolling?
Are we rolling?
Okay.
Out of all of the healing hacks.
And mindset techniques that I'velearned that I've watched my.
My clients.
Step into that.
I see other successful.
Divorced women doing here's what actually.
Paid off when it came to finding myself.
(00:23):
And living an amazing life afterdivorce, let's get into it.
You're listening to HerHeart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hi, I'm Christina Cuevas.
Seven years ago, I went througha divorce and it completely
turned my world upside down.
And I'm so glad it did.
(00:45):
I documented my healing to shareinformation with other women going
through their own divorce journey.
And now, With thousands of downloadsaround the world from divorced women
just like you, I'm here to show youhow to ditch the shame around divorce
and finally heal so that you canregain the confidence to create your
most abundant and joyful future.
(01:06):
I'm so glad you're here.
This is Her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hey ladies.
Welcome.
Back today's episode isgoing to hit a little bit.
Differently.
If you've ever been thinkingto yourself, why can't.
I just get my life togetherafter divorce or what.
Am I missing or why am I not there yet?
(01:28):
Then you were.
We're in the right place because todayI'm going to be sharing seven habits of.
Of highly successful divorced womenthat will help you shift from survey.
Survival mode to thriving likethe bad-ass queen that you are.
And trust me.
These habits work and I've studied a lot.
A lot of women I've workedwith a lot of women.
It's changed my life.
(01:50):
My clients.
Clients' lives and thesecan change your life too.
If you apply them correctly.
And.
And that's exactly what I'm goingto show you in this episode.
First things first.
First stop.
The scrolling.
This episode is not an episode.
Episode to multitask to ofcourse, you know, I create these.
Uh, episodes so that you can listen onthe, go on your hot, smart, divorced.
(02:10):
Enrich walks on your successful drives.
So.
That's totally fine, but I just wantto make sure , your mind is here.
Focus.
Focused you're locked in with us.
Listening and taking in this.
This information, because if you'rescrolling or you're doing something
else, It's not going to penetrate.
To make it super.
Super easy for you.
(02:31):
I've created a free companion guide with.
With all the notes for thisepisode, plus 20 additional habits.
Abbott's and action steps thatyou can follow without needing to.
Scramble for a pen or write anything down.
You can just.
Take it all in.
So check the link in the show notes.
If you want the companion guide.
Guide and you'll get that.
(02:53):
You'll enter your emailand it'll be right.
In your inbox?
No, note-taking required.
So.
So while you're getting the guide, Iwanted to share a little bit about me.
I have.
A lot of new listeners, if you're newwith us, welcome, this is rebuilding.
You I'm your host, Christina.
And I'm always bringing you the.
The latest and greatest when itcomes to all things, rebuilding your.
(03:13):
For life after divorce, but ina new and fresh way that allows.
You to create divorceas your rock bottom and.
Literally create yourmost abundant life beyond.
And divorce.
And so I wanted to sharea little bit about me and.
My story before we get intothe meat and potatoes of this.
(03:34):
Training.
, I filed for divorce.
Horse about nine years ago on Christmas.
And.
And I, it was the best thingthat ever happened to me in that.
At time.
It obviously did not feel like thebest thing that ever happened to me.
It.
Was a very, very difficult choice.
Um, I felt sort.
Of forced , to file for divorce.
(03:55):
And if you want, like the full nittygritty of that, I actually have it pinned.
On my profile on Instagram,you can go and check that out.
But.
But for the sake of time, , I went.
Through this process.
And I had always beeninvolved in personal.
Growth.
I had done events like Tony Robbins.
I had worked with coaches.
Coaches before on like lots ofhealing from things that came before.
(04:18):
My divorce, but when I gotdivorced, I was like, What the hell?
Well, like what did I miss?
I'm somebody who's kindof a perfectionist and.
I always like to do thevery best at things.
And so.
When I make a commitment, I,you best believe that I checked.
All alterior options and I've played.
(04:39):
It out in my head multiple times.
And it's something that Iam certain on when I decide.
On something.
And so.
It really messed with my ego.
When I got divorced, I felt a lotof guilt and I felt a lot of shame.
And I decided to say.
I am going to use.
Use this for good.
Signed the papers with nothing to my name.
(05:02):
Except for my dogs.
And rebuilt my life from.
Literally.
Being homeless without a job.
And.
Not a penny to my name.
And I started.
Her heart heals, reallydocumenting my own healing journey.
I was like, I know that I'm a good person.
I know that God knows my heart.
Art and I am going to get paid back.
(05:25):
In my own way.
Way I can go out and create this and I'mgoing to do it better than I ever have.
I have.
And it all came true.
Every single thing that I desired.
For myself came true.
And I basically.
Documented my healing on this podcast.
And started.
Helping and coaching other women.
As I invested in my own growth.
(05:47):
Um, And applied a lot of thesethings that I was learning.
I really used my divorceto create my dream.
Life.
And now it's, I'm never goingback and it was the exact healing.
Healing that I needed andmy life is I'm so blessed.
Was able to buy my own home.
And through my healing, discover my.
(06:07):
Purpose here on this earthand through my purpose.
Create multiple streams ofincome through different.
Companies.
I was.
Able to make smart financialinvestments that have really.
He set me up for success.
Created the.
The most amazing relationships andpeople around me and finding love.
Again, a healthy kind of love.
And lastly, I've been able tocreate and cultivate a life that is
(06:32):
surrounded with inner peace at its core.
And that's exactly whatI want for everybody.
My mission is to help.
Women.
Take this divorce and use it for good.
And it absolutely can be done.
And so, yeah.
Yeah, that's a little bit about me.
And.
And this episode is for you.
(06:54):
If you.
Desire to create a better life foryourself and find yourself in the.
Process.
You want to learn how touse your unique gifts?
Gifts or bring good to thisworld and receive good things in.
Return or if you've just gone throughsome hard times that make you.
You feel like your now at asetback and you're looking.
(07:15):
To just get back to a placewhere you actually feel like your
life makes sense or that you're.
We're on track for everythingthat you are working for.
Okay, now let's get realfor a second divorce.
Force is hard, harder than anyone really.
Prepares you for, to be honest,if you're not just dealing with.
The emotional fallout.
(07:35):
Which I call phase one as.
As part of the healing process, you'retrying to rebuild your life figure.
Out who you are.
And at the same time, there'sthis constant pressure to.
To get it all together.
And.
You know, impressing people.
Pretending that you know exactlywhat you're doing or showing.
People that you can get back up orpeople sort of waiting to see how.
(07:58):
You're going to act or whatyou're going to do with your life.
And.
People trying to makesure that you're okay.
And it's.
It's a lot of pressure.
But here's.
Is the thing.
You get to write your own comeback.
The story.
I want to empower you tobe able to truly adjust.
Only live for yourself.
Uh, selfish as that sounds.
(08:19):
But it'll make sense when I getinto this, but you've got to define.
Fine.
What success looks like for you after.
The divorce and the women whothrive, the ones who live among.
Amazing lives after divorce.
They have certain habits.
Habits in common.
And that's what we'regoing to talk about today.
So I want.
(08:39):
Want to get started with habit.
Number one.
And that's ruthless.
Ruthless self care.
I'm not just talking about bubble baths.
We've all.
Heard about self care.
Um, Not talking about like wine night.
And, you know, buyingyourself the little trinket.
I am talking about ruthless, unapologetic.
(08:59):
Genetic self care.
It's about showing up for yourself.
Yourself, like you would foryour best friend or your kids.
And it's not selfish.
It's actually necessary.
For your healing and your success.
If you fly.
I on airplanes, you know, they tell youto put on your own mask before they do.
(09:20):
Someone else's because that'sthe only way you're going to
actually be able to help more.
Efficiently.
Same thing.
You got to put you on.
Put on.
Your own mask.
So quick story.
One of my clients.
Who's in my you on purposeprogram came to me.
Running on empty.
Always taking care of everyone.
(09:40):
One else always soconcerned about her friends.
Friends and her loved ones and her family.
But once we prior.
Prioritized her self care.
And I'm not talking.
About like adding more to your plate.
I'm talking about.
Just simply shuffling things aroundand creating different Intel.
(10:01):
Intentions.
But once we prioritize that.
She showed.
As a better mom as abetter business owner.
And as.
As a better woman.
And guess what?
Not only did her anxiety face.
Fade away.
And she was able to showup and do things from.
A whole new perspective and new energy.
Her business.
(10:21):
Business doubled in revenuewithin six months because.
Because she actually had theenergy and the perspective.
To be able to delegate certainthings and the energy to go all in.
It's really the foundationfor everything else.
And that's why.
Why this habit is number one.
Habit number two.
(10:42):
Setting unapologetic boundaries.
Boundaries are the backboneof every successful woman's.
Life.
And it's interestingbecause you are the only.
Only one who can decide whether ornot you want to enforce them or not.
It's really up to you.
Nobody else is going to do this for you.
(11:03):
Because more often than not, people aregoing to set up their own boundaries.
Before they tell you, oh, youshould probably put a boundary here.
I'm going.
To tell you that, but your friendsprobably won't tell you that.
And the women.
Who thrive beyond divorce.
They know how to say no.
And when to say no to certain thingsand they don't feel guilty about.
(11:23):
About it?
No, to the things that don't serve them.
No to the people.
People who drain their energy and also.
In or boundaries?
No.
To their inner critic.
I used.
To think that settingboundaries made me a bad person.
If you grew up in a tight-knit family.
(11:43):
And you know, about putting in boundaries.
It's.
The guilt is real.
Okay.
But it wasn't until I realized.
And that boundaries areactually a form of self-love.
Go figure.
They have to be a non negotiable.
And when you learn how to createthese boundaries, You make space.
(12:04):
Base for the right people andthe right opportunities to come.
Come into your life and it'seasier for you to decipher.
What.
What those things are when they do showup, as opposed to like second guessing.
And yourself, if you have clearboundaries, You'll know exam.
Exactly.
What's for you.
Exactly what to act on,which we'll get into.
(12:24):
And habit number three.
Boundaries.
Please help you save time.
Boundaries help you prioritize your goals.
They help you stay focused boundaries.
Keep you safe.
Ultimately.
Cutely boundaries also help youcreate some of the best qual.
Quality relationships of yourlife, because guess what?
The people who are notokay with your boundaries.
(12:46):
Are not your.
Your people.
They're not your people.
So.
Let them pay it away.
I don't know why I'm whispering, but.
Moya.
Important Dante habit, number three.
Calculate.
risk taking.
Woo.
I did.
A whole training on calculated risks.
It's on.
Episode 82.
(13:07):
Too, if you want to check this one out,but let me tell you something about.
Calculated risk taking.
It's easy.
Easy to stay comfortable.
But.
People stay comfortable, evenwhen they're in pain, because.
They cannot handle thefear of the unknown.
I'm going to pause there.
(13:29):
People.
We'll stay comfortable in their pain.
Because they.
They cannot handle thefear of the unknown.
But comfort zones.
Our, where dreams go to die.
Okay.
The women who truly thrive.
Thrive after divorce are the oneswho know when and how to take.
Take calculated risks and youcan't take calculated risks.
(13:50):
Without habit, number two, whichis enforcing your boundaries.
I'm not talking.
About reckless decisions and Lee.
Leaping and being a wild child,I'm talking about knowing.
Exactly when.
And how to take that.
That leap.
So go check out episode 82.
(14:10):
If you want to dive deeper into calculatedrisk taking, I give you my exact.
Formula there.
Habit number four.
Daily reflection and detective like self.
Self awareness.
Here's a game changer.
Successful women are self-aware.
(14:31):
They take the time to reflect.
They're not just hustling through lifeand then quickly burning themselves.
Out.
And then in order to refuel, youhave to numb out for a couple.
All of days, and then youdo it all again on a Monday.
They're checking in with.
Themselves constantly.
And it's not about.
Waiting for the universe to deliver.
(14:54):
It's about seeing the signs.
And the clues that are already there.
And that's what I mean.
I mean about being detectivelike self awareness.
Really being able to be inco-creation with the universe.
Verse of like, is this working for me?
Yes or not.
How do I.
I feel is there, is this a sign?
Is this not a sign?
(15:15):
What does this all?
I mean, right.
When we're able to understand.
And that we are inco-creation of our life.
All.
Always everything is a reflectionthat's given back to you.
It makes things and life so much.
Easier because you can quickly pivot and.
(15:36):
No, when you need to make a shift whensomething's not working and you don't.
Spend months or worseyears in something that.
That is not for you.
Tell it hits you in theface like divorce, right?
Right.
So.
It's not about waiting forthe universe to deliver.
It's about seeing the signs and.
The clues that are alreadythere again, co-creation.
(15:57):
Think about it.
How often do you stop in themiddle of your day to ask yourself?
Self, how am I feeling?
What did.
Life teach me today.
Where do I need to pivot?
Pivot and what is working for me?
Do you know how to tell the difference?
Sometimes the universe issending us these opportunities.
(16:18):
And we're too busy tonotice with my clients.
This is one of the things.
Things that we build up.
I love teaching this workbecause this is something.
That you'll know how toaccess forever when your.
Self-aware you move through theworld differently and inside you.
You on purpose, you learn all of thetools and the techniques to just.
(16:38):
Make this part of your daily practiceand it changes your world forever.
Over.
Okay.
Let's get into habit numberfive and it's clarity.
In what you actually want.
You can't get what you want.
If you don't even know what it is.
So many of us are walking.
Around asking for vaguethings like I want.
(16:59):
To make more money.
I want to be happy, but.
What.
Actually is going to make up.
What's gonna make you happy.
Like what does that actually look like?
If you want more money,what do you want it for?
. What do you want to do with the money?
How.
Are you going to feel.
If you don't get clear the.
(17:19):
The universe is going to throwrandom opportunities your way.
Way, because again, going backto the co-creation thing, And you
might miss the perfect one becauseit doesn't look like exactly.
The opportunity or theoutcome that you thought.
And you're not going to knowthe signs going back to.
(17:40):
The previous habit, but.
Successful women get super.
Super clear on their goals.
Habit number six, they aretheir biggest cheerleader.
To be successful in whatever you want.
You have to be willing to.
To go against the grainto think and dream bigger.
(18:01):
When you have so many people livinga life of the same old, same.
All right.
It's Monday through Fridayparty on the weekend.
started all over the next week.
Like if your life.
Looks like a constant routine.
And you're getting.
The same outcomes then chances areyou're living the same old, same.
(18:23):
but your mindset has to be on.
Point, if you want to be ableto shift your life and live.
Live in a new way to experience newthings, to have things that you've.
I've never had before.
And.
Your mindset will beable to make these up.
Up levels, light.
I call them.
(18:43):
As where your thoughts are automatic.
Right?
It's.
Constantly helping you toevolve and to become better.
So I want you to ask yourself,how would you describe yourself?
To someone.
How do you view.
View the world.
Write these down and read it back.
More often than not.
When clients start workingwith me and I start.
(19:04):
Listening to how they'redescribing their life.
Or their day-to-day.
Their mindset is the biggest.
Thing that we work on.
In fact, it's so big thatone of the things that.
I use this hypnosis andmeditation because we go.
And we reprogram your thoughtson a subconscious level because.
(19:24):
Ultimately, all of our thoughtsare fueled by conditioning.
And patterns that we'velearned and adopted.
From our.
Survival skills and things thathave happened to us throughout life.
And.
And sometimes, you know, we don'twant to have these thoughts.
We don't want to think.
Uh, negatively, but they've just becomea part of us and it becomes really hard.
(19:45):
Hard to undo that by yourself.
And we often need.
Need that feedback to be able tonotice it and start to reprogram.
Some of these thoughts.
So I use tools like the meditation.
Station and hypnosis so thatyou can help get these shifts.
Shifts quickly and startto be able to do things.
(20:05):
In a new way and get resultsreally, really quickly.
So.
Your mindset is the biggest thing.
Like how do you talk.
Talk about yourself.
How do you talk to yourself?
And.
If you're not your biggest cheerleader.
And your biggest fan.
And your biggest supporter, if youdon't know how to boost yourself up.
(20:26):
Then your mindset is an issueand you should definitely.
Take that into considerationand start to work on that.
A S.
A P
habit, number seven.
Investing in themselves.
So lastly, Successful women investin themselves, whether it's through.
(20:46):
Coaching courses therapy.
Mentorship.
They know that they're worththe investment and they know.
I know that it's going to help themget exactly where they want to go.
Go.
I myself have invested tens of thousands.
Of dollars into training and coaching.
I'm always working.
With a mentor.
(21:07):
And the good news is that allof my clients get access to.
Everything that I've learned.
It's incorporated in all of my training.
And all of my teachings.
Just like the people.
Will that you touch we'll getaccess to everything that you.
Learn.
I've seen firsthand that the.
Uh, women who prioritize their personalgrowth and development are the ones who.
(21:27):
Experienced the mostprofound transformations.
I can't tell you.
How many times I've had my clients tell meI never even thought that I needed work
like this and now it's changed my whole.
Whole life and that's because they'vemade the decision to invest in themselves.
So let's recap what we covered habit.
Habit number one.
(21:48):
Ruthless self care.
Habit number two.
To setting unapologetic boundaries.
Habit number.
Three calculated risktaking, taking action.
Habit number four dailyreflection and having self.
Self-awareness that's detectivelike really being able to pay.
Attention to the clues so thatyou're co-creating with the universe.
(22:10):
Habit number.
Number five clarity in what you want.
Re-evaluating.
And your goals often and askingyourself if these actually.
Makes sense for you andwhat you truly want.
Habit number six, there they're.
Our biggest cheerleadermindset is everything.
And habit, number seven,they invest in themselves.
(22:31):
Okay, so there you have it, theseven habits of highly effective.
Divorced women.
I hope you grab the companion guidefor this episode where you'll.
Get these and 30 other habits and hacks.
Plus an action plan.
The link is in the show notes.
And if you're inspired and ready to take.
Aligned action.
You can apply to have me asyour mentor and work with me in.
(22:52):
You on purpose at thelink in the show notes.
I hope you enjoyed this episode andthis training, I will see you next week.
If not sooner, Sooner.
Bye.
Are we rolling?
Are we rolling?
Okay.
Out of all of the healing hacks.
And mindset techniques that I'velearned that I've watched my.
My clients.
Step into that.
I see other successful.
Divorced women doing here's what actually.
Paid off when it came to finding myself.
(00:23):
And living an amazing life afterdivorce, let's get into it.
You're listening to HerHeart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hi, I'm Christina Cuevas.
Seven years ago, I went througha divorce and it completely
turned my world upside down.
And I'm so glad it did.
(00:45):
I documented my healing to shareinformation with other women going
through their own divorce journey.
And now, With thousands of downloadsaround the world from divorced women
just like you, I'm here to show youhow to ditch the shame around divorce
and finally heal so that you canregain the confidence to create your
most abundant and joyful future.
(01:06):
I'm so glad you're here.
This is Her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hey ladies.
Welcome.
Back today's episode isgoing to hit a little bit.
Differently.
If you've ever been thinkingto yourself, why can't.
I just get my life togetherafter divorce or what.
Am I missing or why am I not there yet?
(01:28):
Then you were.
We're in the right place because todayI'm going to be sharing seven habits of.
Of highly successful divorced womenthat will help you shift from survey.
Survival mode to thriving likethe bad-ass queen that you are.
And trust me.
These habits work and I've studied a lot.
A lot of women I've workedwith a lot of women.
It's changed my life.
(01:50):
My clients.
Clients' lives and thesecan change your life too.
If you apply them correctly.
And.
And that's exactly what I'm goingto show you in this episode.
First things first.
First stop.
The scrolling.
This episode is not an episode.
Episode to multitask to ofcourse, you know, I create these.
Uh, episodes so that you can listen onthe, go on your hot, smart, divorced.
(02:10):
Enrich walks on your successful drives.
So.
That's totally fine, but I just wantto make sure , your mind is here.
Focus.
Focused you're locked in with us.
Listening and taking in this.
This information, because if you'rescrolling or you're doing something
else, It's not going to penetrate.
To make it super.
Super easy for you.
(02:31):
I've created a free companion guide with.
With all the notes for thisepisode, plus 20 additional habits.
Abbott's and action steps thatyou can follow without needing to.
Scramble for a pen or write anything down.
You can just.
Take it all in.
So check the link in the show notes.
If you want the companion guide.
Guide and you'll get that.
(02:53):
You'll enter your emailand it'll be right.
In your inbox?
No, note-taking required.
So.
So while you're getting the guide, Iwanted to share a little bit about me.
I have.
A lot of new listeners, if you're newwith us, welcome, this is rebuilding.
You I'm your host, Christina.
And I'm always bringing you the.
The latest and greatest when itcomes to all things, rebuilding your.
(03:13):
For life after divorce, but ina new and fresh way that allows.
You to create divorceas your rock bottom and.
Literally create yourmost abundant life beyond.
And divorce.
And so I wanted to sharea little bit about me and.
My story before we get intothe meat and potatoes of this.
(03:34):
Training.
, I filed for divorce.
Horse about nine years ago on Christmas.
And.
And I, it was the best thingthat ever happened to me in that.
At time.
It obviously did not feel like thebest thing that ever happened to me.
It.
Was a very, very difficult choice.
Um, I felt sort.
Of forced , to file for divorce.
(03:55):
And if you want, like the full nittygritty of that, I actually have it pinned.
On my profile on Instagram,you can go and check that out.
But.
But for the sake of time, , I went.
Through this process.
And I had always beeninvolved in personal.
Growth.
I had done events like Tony Robbins.
I had worked with coaches.
Coaches before on like lots ofhealing from things that came before.
(04:18):
My divorce, but when I gotdivorced, I was like, What the hell?
Well, like what did I miss?
I'm somebody who's kindof a perfectionist and.
I always like to do thevery best at things.
And so.
When I make a commitment, I,you best believe that I checked.
All alterior options and I've played.
(04:39):
It out in my head multiple times.
And it's something that Iam certain on when I decide.
On something.
And so.
It really messed with my ego.
When I got divorced, I felt a lotof guilt and I felt a lot of shame.
And I decided to say.
I am going to use.
Use this for good.
Signed the papers with nothing to my name.
(05:02):
Except for my dogs.
And rebuilt my life from.
Literally.
Being homeless without a job.
And.
Not a penny to my name.
And I started.
Her heart heals, reallydocumenting my own healing journey.
I was like, I know that I'm a good person.
I know that God knows my heart.
Art and I am going to get paid back.
(05:25):
In my own way.
Way I can go out and create this and I'mgoing to do it better than I ever have.
I have.
And it all came true.
Every single thing that I desired.
For myself came true.
And I basically.
Documented my healing on this podcast.
And started.
Helping and coaching other women.
As I invested in my own growth.
(05:47):
Um, And applied a lot of thesethings that I was learning.
I really used my divorceto create my dream.
Life.
And now it's, I'm never goingback and it was the exact healing.
Healing that I needed andmy life is I'm so blessed.
Was able to buy my own home.
And through my healing, discover my.
(06:07):
Purpose here on this earthand through my purpose.
Create multiple streams ofincome through different.
Companies.
I was.
Able to make smart financialinvestments that have really.
He set me up for success.
Created the.
The most amazing relationships andpeople around me and finding love.
Again, a healthy kind of love.
And lastly, I've been able tocreate and cultivate a life that is
(06:32):
surrounded with inner peace at its core.
And that's exactly whatI want for everybody.
My mission is to help.
Women.
Take this divorce and use it for good.
And it absolutely can be done.
And so, yeah.
Yeah, that's a little bit about me.
And.
And this episode is for you.
(06:54):
If you.
Desire to create a better life foryourself and find yourself in the.
Process.
You want to learn how touse your unique gifts?
Gifts or bring good to thisworld and receive good things in.
Return or if you've just gone throughsome hard times that make you.
You feel like your now at asetback and you're looking.
(07:15):
To just get back to a placewhere you actually feel like your
life makes sense or that you're.
We're on track for everythingthat you are working for.
Okay, now let's get realfor a second divorce.
Force is hard, harder than anyone really.
Prepares you for, to be honest,if you're not just dealing with.
The emotional fallout.
(07:35):
Which I call phase one as.
As part of the healing process, you'retrying to rebuild your life figure.
Out who you are.
And at the same time, there'sthis constant pressure to.
To get it all together.
And.
You know, impressing people.
Pretending that you know exactlywhat you're doing or showing.
People that you can get back up orpeople sort of waiting to see how.
(07:58):
You're going to act or whatyou're going to do with your life.
And.
People trying to makesure that you're okay.
And it's.
It's a lot of pressure.
But here's.
Is the thing.
You get to write your own comeback.
The story.
I want to empower you tobe able to truly adjust.
Only live for yourself.
Uh, selfish as that sounds.
(08:19):
But it'll make sense when I getinto this, but you've got to define.
Fine.
What success looks like for you after.
The divorce and the women whothrive, the ones who live among.
Amazing lives after divorce.
They have certain habits.
Habits in common.
And that's what we'regoing to talk about today.
So I want.
(08:39):
Want to get started with habit.
Number one.
And that's ruthless.
Ruthless self care.
I'm not just talking about bubble baths.
We've all.
Heard about self care.
Um, Not talking about like wine night.
And, you know, buyingyourself the little trinket.
I am talking about ruthless, unapologetic.
(08:59):
Genetic self care.
It's about showing up for yourself.
Yourself, like you would foryour best friend or your kids.
And it's not selfish.
It's actually necessary.
For your healing and your success.
If you fly.
I on airplanes, you know, they tell youto put on your own mask before they do.
(09:20):
Someone else's because that'sthe only way you're going to
actually be able to help more.
Efficiently.
Same thing.
You got to put you on.
Put on.
Your own mask.
So quick story.
One of my clients.
Who's in my you on purposeprogram came to me.
Running on empty.
Always taking care of everyone.
(09:40):
One else always soconcerned about her friends.
Friends and her loved ones and her family.
But once we prior.
Prioritized her self care.
And I'm not talking.
About like adding more to your plate.
I'm talking about.
Just simply shuffling things aroundand creating different Intel.
(10:01):
Intentions.
But once we prioritize that.
She showed.
As a better mom as abetter business owner.
And as.
As a better woman.
And guess what?
Not only did her anxiety face.
Fade away.
And she was able to showup and do things from.
A whole new perspective and new energy.
Her business.
(10:21):
Business doubled in revenuewithin six months because.
Because she actually had theenergy and the perspective.
To be able to delegate certainthings and the energy to go all in.
It's really the foundationfor everything else.
And that's why.
Why this habit is number one.
Habit number two.
(10:42):
Setting unapologetic boundaries.
Boundaries are the backboneof every successful woman's.
Life.
And it's interestingbecause you are the only.
Only one who can decide whether ornot you want to enforce them or not.
It's really up to you.
Nobody else is going to do this for you.
(11:03):
Because more often than not, people aregoing to set up their own boundaries.
Before they tell you, oh, youshould probably put a boundary here.
I'm going.
To tell you that, but your friendsprobably won't tell you that.
And the women.
Who thrive beyond divorce.
They know how to say no.
And when to say no to certain thingsand they don't feel guilty about.
(11:23):
About it?
No, to the things that don't serve them.
No to the people.
People who drain their energy and also.
In or boundaries?
No.
To their inner critic.
I used.
To think that settingboundaries made me a bad person.
If you grew up in a tight-knit family.
(11:43):
And you know, about putting in boundaries.
It's.
The guilt is real.
Okay.
But it wasn't until I realized.
And that boundaries areactually a form of self-love.
Go figure.
They have to be a non negotiable.
And when you learn how to createthese boundaries, You make space.
(12:04):
Base for the right people andthe right opportunities to come.
Come into your life and it'seasier for you to decipher.
What.
What those things are when they do showup, as opposed to like second guessing.
And yourself, if you have clearboundaries, You'll know exam.
Exactly.
What's for you.
Exactly what to act on,which we'll get into.
(12:24):
And habit number three.
Boundaries.
Please help you save time.
Boundaries help you prioritize your goals.
They help you stay focused boundaries.
Keep you safe.
Ultimately.
Cutely boundaries also help youcreate some of the best qual.
Quality relationships of yourlife, because guess what?
The people who are notokay with your boundaries.
(12:46):
Are not your.
Your people.
They're not your people.
So.
Let them pay it away.
I don't know why I'm whispering, but.
Moya.
Important Dante habit, number three.
Calculate.
risk taking.
Woo.
I did.
A whole training on calculated risks.
It's on.
Episode 82.
(13:07):
Too, if you want to check this one out,but let me tell you something about.
Calculated risk taking.
It's easy.
Easy to stay comfortable.
But.
People stay comfortable, evenwhen they're in pain, because.
They cannot handle thefear of the unknown.
I'm going to pause there.
(13:29):
People.
We'll stay comfortable in their pain.
Because they.
They cannot handle thefear of the unknown.
But comfort zones.
Our, where dreams go to die.
Okay.
The women who truly thrive.
Thrive after divorce are the oneswho know when and how to take.
Take calculated risks and youcan't take calculated risks.
(13:50):
Without habit, number two, whichis enforcing your boundaries.
I'm not talking.
About reckless decisions and Lee.
Leaping and being a wild child,I'm talking about knowing.
Exactly when.
And how to take that.
That leap.
So go check out episode 82.
(14:10):
If you want to dive deeper into calculatedrisk taking, I give you my exact.
Formula there.
Habit number four.
Daily reflection and detective like self.
Self awareness.
Here's a game changer.
Successful women are self-aware.
(14:31):
They take the time to reflect.
They're not just hustling through lifeand then quickly burning themselves.
Out.
And then in order to refuel, youhave to numb out for a couple.
All of days, and then youdo it all again on a Monday.
They're checking in with.
Themselves constantly.
And it's not about.
Waiting for the universe to deliver.
(14:54):
It's about seeing the signs.
And the clues that are already there.
And that's what I mean.
I mean about being detectivelike self awareness.
Really being able to be inco-creation with the universe.
Verse of like, is this working for me?
Yes or not.
How do I.
I feel is there, is this a sign?
Is this not a sign?
(15:15):
What does this all?
I mean, right.
When we're able to understand.
And that we are inco-creation of our life.
All.
Always everything is a reflectionthat's given back to you.
It makes things and life so much.
Easier because you can quickly pivot and.
(15:36):
No, when you need to make a shift whensomething's not working and you don't.
Spend months or worseyears in something that.
That is not for you.
Tell it hits you in theface like divorce, right?
Right.
So.
It's not about waiting forthe universe to deliver.
It's about seeing the signs and.
The clues that are alreadythere again, co-creation.
(15:57):
Think about it.
How often do you stop in themiddle of your day to ask yourself?
Self, how am I feeling?
What did.
Life teach me today.
Where do I need to pivot?
Pivot and what is working for me?
Do you know how to tell the difference?
Sometimes the universe issending us these opportunities.
(16:18):
And we're too busy tonotice with my clients.
This is one of the things.
Things that we build up.
I love teaching this workbecause this is something.
That you'll know how toaccess forever when your.
Self-aware you move through theworld differently and inside you.
You on purpose, you learn all of thetools and the techniques to just.
(16:38):
Make this part of your daily practiceand it changes your world forever.
Over.
Okay.
Let's get into habit numberfive and it's clarity.
In what you actually want.
You can't get what you want.
If you don't even know what it is.
So many of us are walking.
Around asking for vaguethings like I want.
(16:59):
To make more money.
I want to be happy, but.
What.
Actually is going to make up.
What's gonna make you happy.
Like what does that actually look like?
If you want more money,what do you want it for?
. What do you want to do with the money?
How.
Are you going to feel.
If you don't get clear the.
(17:19):
The universe is going to throwrandom opportunities your way.
Way, because again, going backto the co-creation thing, And you
might miss the perfect one becauseit doesn't look like exactly.
The opportunity or theoutcome that you thought.
And you're not going to knowthe signs going back to.
(17:40):
The previous habit, but.
Successful women get super.
Super clear on their goals.
Habit number six, they aretheir biggest cheerleader.
To be successful in whatever you want.
You have to be willing to.
To go against the grainto think and dream bigger.
(18:01):
When you have so many people livinga life of the same old, same.
All right.
It's Monday through Fridayparty on the weekend.
started all over the next week.
Like if your life.
Looks like a constant routine.
And you're getting.
The same outcomes then chances areyou're living the same old, same.
(18:23):
but your mindset has to be on.
Point, if you want to be ableto shift your life and live.
Live in a new way to experience newthings, to have things that you've.
I've never had before.
And.
Your mindset will beable to make these up.
Up levels, light.
I call them.
(18:43):
As where your thoughts are automatic.
Right?
It's.
Constantly helping you toevolve and to become better.
So I want you to ask yourself,how would you describe yourself?
To someone.
How do you view.
View the world.
Write these down and read it back.
More often than not.
When clients start workingwith me and I start.
(19:04):
Listening to how they'redescribing their life.
Or their day-to-day.
Their mindset is the biggest.
Thing that we work on.
In fact, it's so big thatone of the things that.
I use this hypnosis andmeditation because we go.
And we reprogram your thoughtson a subconscious level because.
(19:24):
Ultimately, all of our thoughtsare fueled by conditioning.
And patterns that we'velearned and adopted.
From our.
Survival skills and things thathave happened to us throughout life.
And.
And sometimes, you know, we don'twant to have these thoughts.
We don't want to think.
Uh, negatively, but they've just becomea part of us and it becomes really hard.
(19:45):
Hard to undo that by yourself.
And we often need.
Need that feedback to be able tonotice it and start to reprogram.
Some of these thoughts.
So I use tools like the meditation.
Station and hypnosis so thatyou can help get these shifts.
Shifts quickly and startto be able to do things.
(20:05):
In a new way and get resultsreally, really quickly.
So.
Your mindset is the biggest thing.
Like how do you talk.
Talk about yourself.
How do you talk to yourself?
And.
If you're not your biggest cheerleader.
And your biggest fan.
And your biggest supporter, if youdon't know how to boost yourself up.
(20:26):
Then your mindset is an issueand you should definitely.
Take that into considerationand start to work on that.
A S.
A P
habit, number seven.
Investing in themselves.
So lastly, Successful women investin themselves, whether it's through.
(20:46):
Coaching courses therapy.
Mentorship.
They know that they're worththe investment and they know.
I know that it's going to help themget exactly where they want to go.
Go.
I myself have invested tens of thousands.
Of dollars into training and coaching.
I'm always working.
With a mentor.
(21:07):
And the good news is that allof my clients get access to.
Everything that I've learned.
It's incorporated in all of my training.
And all of my teachings.
Just like the people.
Will that you touch we'll getaccess to everything that you.
Learn.
I've seen firsthand that the.
Uh, women who prioritize their personalgrowth and development are the ones who.
(21:27):
Experienced the mostprofound transformations.
I can't tell you.
How many times I've had my clients tell meI never even thought that I needed work
like this and now it's changed my whole.
Whole life and that's because they'vemade the decision to invest in themselves.
So let's recap what we covered habit.
Habit number one.
(21:48):
Ruthless self care.
Habit number two.
To setting unapologetic boundaries.
Habit number.
Three calculated risktaking, taking action.
Habit number four dailyreflection and having self.
Self-awareness that's detectivelike really being able to pay.
Attention to the clues so thatyou're co-creating with the universe.
(22:10):
Habit number.
Number five clarity in what you want.
Re-evaluating.
And your goals often and askingyourself if these actually.
Makes sense for you andwhat you truly want.
Habit number six, there they're.
Our biggest cheerleadermindset is everything.
And habit, number seven,they invest in themselves.
(22:31):
Okay, so there you have it, theseven habits of highly effective.
Divorced women.
I hope you grab the companion guidefor this episode where you'll.
Get these and 30 other habits and hacks.
Plus an action plan.
The link is in the show notes.
And if you're inspired and ready to take.
Aligned action.
You can apply to have me asyour mentor and work with me in.
(22:52):
You on purpose at thelink in the show notes.
I hope you enjoyed this episode andthis training, I will see you next week.
If not sooner, Sooner.
Bye.
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