After Divorce Realness: Freezing When You Actually Feel Like Flying

The tension between loving where you are and being afraid to grow beyond it. We’ll talk about how to recognize when you’re unknowingly keeping yourself stuck, why “manifesting obstacles” is often a subconscious defense mechanism, and the steps you can take to move out of survival mode and into your next chapter.

Whether you’ve just found happiness after your divorce or are working hard to rebuild your life, this episode will help you navigate the fear of moving forward and remind you that your greatest comeback is still waiting for you.

💥 Ready to take action on your comeback? 💥

The waitlist for Your Greatest Comeback is officially OPEN! This 8-week self-paced program is designed to take you from just surviving after divorce to stepping into your next-level life—without overthinking yourself into oblivion.

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What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How to recognize the signs you’re stuck in survival mode
• Why we subconsciously sabotage ourselves, even when we’re happy
• The power of taking small, courageous steps to move forward
• How “familiar hells” keep us from stepping into our “unfamiliar heavens”
• Why your happiness is the launching pad, not the finish line

Quote of the Episode:

"Your comeback doesn’t stop when you feel baseline happy. That’s just the launching pad. The life you’ve been quietly praying for is waiting for you to step into it."

Mentioned in this episode:

AI Comeback Tool 🤖✨

✨ Ready to taste your comeback dream life? ✨ Grab my free AI Tool with a powerful prompt to create and visualize your ultimate “Day in the Life” and start making it real. 🎁 Here’s how: 1️⃣ Rate & review the podcast on your favorite platform. 2️⃣ DM me a screenshot on Instagram @HerHeartHeals Your comeback era starts NOW! 💖

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Want to share something that I wrotein my journal recently because I know

(00:04):
that it's something a lot of you feeland probably never say out loud because,
well, who's gonna hear us anyway?
That journal entry wentsomething like this.
This is the happiest that I've ever been.
I want to freeze time.
But in freezing, I also noticed thatI'm doing things to avoid bringing

(00:27):
in new change and new things.
I noticed this is happeningbecause I'm manifesting these
obstacles that keep me in the veryplace that I desire to not be in.
And so it's this walking contradiction.
Like I love life so much rightnow, everything about it where I'm

(00:50):
at, but I have all these goals.
And a part of me, subconsciouslydoesn't want to change because,
well, we're going to get into this.
When I read it back, I had one ofthose Oh crap moments where you
realize that you've been sabotagingyourself without even noticing it.
And it really made me think howmany of us do this after a

(01:11):
big life change, like divorce.
In the last episode, I talked all abouttriggers this is more of like a pattern
and so we work so hard to rebuildthis life that we can finally enjoy.
We finally come up forair and it's like, Oh yes.
But then when it comes to anythinggrowth from there, we freeze.

(01:35):
So it's like, we're holding onso tightly to this bare minimum.
Because , we're scared forthe other shoe to drop.
Does this sound familiar?
If so, this episode isgoing to be for you.
We're going to be talking all aroundthe things that keep us stuck, and
everything that I'm doing to break outof this pattern and how I continuously

(01:55):
am able to up level in my life.
You're listening to HerHeart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hit you with the shorter music.
Let me know what you guys think.
I've been playing around with this.
I had my podcast audited by thisbig podcast company and they told me

(02:16):
that I could probably do away withoutthe music, but I love it so much.
Okay.
So let me take you back for a minute.
After my divorce, I remember thefirst time that I felt happy again.
And I don't even want to say likehappy again, where I had this
realization that I was happy, but Iwas not feeling like I was underwater.

(02:37):
It was this like deep, quietcontentment of like, I can
actually take a deep breath.
I remember I was walking my dogsand feeling just the sun on my
face and thinking like, I did it.
I survived, I rebuilt mylife and I didn't die.

(03:02):
Yay.
I didn't die.
But then something strange happened.
Because instead of using that feelingas fuel to keep growing in life, I
just froze and it wasn't somethingthat I actually consciously knew that
I was doing in the beginning, but Istopped taking action on my dreams.

(03:24):
And I really kind of stoppeddreaming big, to be honest.
I avoided risks and little by littleI started manifesting roadblocks
and things that kept me small.
Things like unexpected expenses,distractions, family drama, and even these
sudden doubts that I didn't have before.

(03:46):
I came to realize that I was terrified.
I was still terrified.
I was still living in survival mode.
I was scared to really push forwardand mess up what I had already
built and scared that if I likereached for more, God would also be
like, you know, you've had enough.

(04:08):
That was it.
And now you, you know, it lookslike you don't appreciate things and
I'm going to go ahead and take awayeverything from you all over again.
And I was scared that like I'd loseeverything that I worked so hard for.
And I think if you've gone througha divorce, you feel the same way.
Like I know I'm not alone.
So many women that I work withalso struggle with this same thing.

(04:32):
They've rebuilt themselves.
They found their footing andthen they're finally happy.
But instead of stepping into their.
Come back era where thisfeels spotlight on you.
You're just thriving.
You're proud of all these accomplishmentsthat you've built by yourself.
They hit pause.

(04:52):
And here's the thing, wantingto freeze time is normal.
As I shared, in my story, it'ssomething that I still struggle with.
Even after accomplishing so much,I have to remind myself like, girl,
it's been It's been nine years.
You're going to be fine.
You've been paying for yourhouse by yourself for nine years.

(05:14):
I think you're good.
Divorce shakes up your whole world.
And when you finally feel steadyagain, the last thing that you want to
do is rock the boat and take a risk.
That's just, it's normalto feel like that.
But here's the truth that I had tolearn is that When we freeze, we're

(05:38):
really not prioritizing ourselvesand our purpose and our highest path.
We're keeping ourselves in thislittle bubble, which is ultimately
just keeping ourselves stuck.
And it's okay to be there for alittle bit, but if you don't know

(05:59):
how to pull yourself out of thatand start taking these risks,
you're going to be so unfulfilled.
And dare I even say, back in the samesituation, recreating other situations
that mimic what you went through duringdivorce, if not getting divorced again.

(06:22):
And so if you're going through somethinglike this, where you are feeling good,
you know, you're taking care of yourself,all your bills are getting paid, but
you're not really quite doing what youfeel is thriving or you feel is It's
what's giving purpose to your life.

(06:44):
If you don't feel excited to wake up everysingle day or feeling fully yourself,
you're probably off just manifesting thesethings that are going to keep you stuck.
And those things are the things that wetell ourselves are these excuses of like.

(07:05):
Oh, you see, this is why I can't goand do this because, I needed all
new tires , one time I had it towhere I actually was getting ready to
invest in a business coach and my airconditioning unit went out of my house.
And I was like, Oh my God, you know,God doesn't want me to up level.

(07:25):
You see, this is why , and I madeup all these things, but it really
was because deep down inside Iwas terrified to take that leap.
And when you're terrified to takeany kind of leap, the universe is
always going to give you back whatit is that you're putting out.
Is it fair for me to say that like Imanifested my air conditioning going out?

(07:47):
Well, I mean, I've.
Firmly believe that I did.
I was looking for an out subconsciously.
Does this make sense?
It's often that your subconsciousway of keeping yourself safe
by avoiding the discomfort.
I heard this saying the other day,and I'm totally going to butcher it

(08:09):
right now, but it's like in a familiarhell, someone's unfamiliar hell.
Let me just fucking start thisover someone's familiar hell is
safer than an Unfamiliar heaven
let that one sink in for a little bitSomeone's familiar hell is safer than

(08:33):
someone's unfamiliar heaven meaning ifyou have these big goals and these big
dreams and these things that you wantto do and It sounds like you're heaven.
But you've noticed that youare living in hell right now.
Maybe you're in a job that'ssoul sucking that you're just
doing it because of the paycheck.

(08:54):
Maybe you have a friend group because you,that you, that's like energy sucking, but
you're there because you don't have anyother friends or whatever the case may be
because of the fact that it's familiar.
It will always keep you there.
Even though you don't likeit, even though it's hell.

(09:17):
So someone's familiar hell, is better andsafer than someone's unfamiliar heaven.\
But that life that you've been prayingfor, that future version of you, That
you've been dreaming of is waiting foryou on the other side of that discomfort.
And this is exactly why I createdmy program, Your Greatest Comeback.

(09:40):
It's for women who've rebuilt thebasics of their life after divorce.
Who've like survived the hardest part.
But still feel stuck in thissurvival mode pattern, right?
And by survival mode, feelingstuck in survival mode, it means
that you're in your familiar hell.
And you've maybe done some healingwork around the breakup, but it

(10:02):
feels like there's something missing.
And you don't know how to break out of it.
You know that you're meant for more,but the fear of stepping into your
next chapter keeps holding you backinside of your greatest comeback.
I help you move past those fears andstart taking this aligned action.
And you have me as your one on one guide.

(10:22):
We do this deep in our work.
It's the Her Heart Healsformula that I created.
It's my own process that I takeall my clients through and we
get to the root of the obstacles.
So, whether it's a fear of failure,limiting beliefs, old patterns, we combine
it with tangible steps and processesthat I hold you accountable for to

(10:45):
help you actually create a life thatfeels expansive and rich, not stagnant
and definitely not a familiar hell.
Okay.
So let's wrap up this episode.
How do we move through it?
The first step is really beingaware of the process, noticing

(11:06):
that these things are happening.
So if you're like, my life is goingto completely to shit or all these
things start happening, notice and askyourself, what is this keeping me from.
And is this something that my subconsciousis using as an excuse to keep me small?

(11:28):
And then the second thing thatI want you to look into is
how am I moving through it?
Are you in this whole cycle?
Because a lot of times that'show these things play out.
It's all a cycle.
So ask yourself how it is thatyou're going to move through it.
And are you going to double down?
on the action that you wanted totake, that you're using this thing

(11:54):
as the excuse to not move forward.
So here's my question for you.
Are you holding on to this familiar hellor this basic level of happy because
you're like can finally breathe thatyou're actually avoiding stepping into

(12:17):
your next chapter or your comebackera or you know your dream life?
What's one thing One tiny, courageousstep that you can take to move forward.
Maybe it's journaling aboutwhat you're afraid of.
Maybe it's saying yes to somethingthat you've been putting off.

(12:38):
Maybe it's even just reaching out forguidance and letting someone like me
help you build out that roadmap andtake that leap so that you know exactly
where it is that you're going to land.
Your comeback doesn't stop whenyou, like, get to the baseline.
That's just the launching pad.
You still have so much more action totake, and the future that you've been

(13:03):
quietly praying for, the freedom, thepurpose, the joy, the financial abundance,
it's waiting for you to step into it.
Okay, that's my message.
I hope this resonated with you, and I wantyou to take this as your sign if it did.
Your sign that it's not too late.
That you're not stuck andthat you're capable of so much

(13:24):
more than you even realize.
I know you know that deep down inside.
If you're ready to stopsurviving and truly start
living, let's do this together.
Your greatest comeback has one last spotopen at the unbelievable pre sale pricing.
That means before this gets taken outto the public and it's open for you.

(13:49):
So I encourage you to apply.
This is your chance to finally step intothe life that you've been dreaming of.
Click the link in the show notes to jointhat waitlist and apply, or you can DM
me on Instagram with the word ready andI'll send you everything that you need.
Your unfamiliar heaven, let's make itfamiliar and get you in that life today.

(14:12):
I'm rooting for you always until nexttime, take care of your heart and
don't be afraid to take that next step.
The best is yet to come.