Divorce Rage: Why Suppressing It Is Sabotaging Your Growth

If you’ve ever found yourself rage-texting your ex in your head, fantasizing about flipping a table, or sobbing mid-Linkin Park scream session — you’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re just angry. And that anger? It’s sacred.

In this episode, I’m getting real about one of the most taboo but universal post-divorce emotions: rage. I’m sharing my own story — including the moment I snapped at my sister, the treadmill rage runs that cracked me open, and how ignoring my anger was sabotaging my healing and growth.

💥 Ready to take action on your comeback? 💥

The waitlist for Your Greatest Comeback is officially OPEN! This 8-week self-paced program is designed to take you from just surviving after divorce to stepping into your next-level life—without overthinking yourself into oblivion.

⚡ Get on the waitlist now to lock in the lowest price ever + exclusive bonuses!

We’ll explore:

• Why feeling rage after divorce is completely normal (and necessary)
• How society teaches women to bypass their anger with toxic positivity
• Why unprocessed anger shows up in other areas of your life (and bites you in the 🍑)
• A powerful perspective shift to help you alchemize your rage into self-worth and power
• My favorite tools to move that emotion through your body (not just your mind)

👉 This episode is inspired by Week 2 of Your Greatest Comeback — the signature program designed to help you take your power back and rise after divorce. Inside the program, we don’t bypass rage — we transmute it.

⚡ This is your Comeback Era. Let your rage lead you home.

⭐️LOVE THIS EPISODE? The best compliment is to rate/review this podcast!⭐️

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey friend, if you've everfantasized about keying his

(00:03):
car rage, texting him a novel.
Telling off his mother or justburning your old wedding photos while
screaming, drinking a glass of wineand blasting through Lincoln Park.
First of all, all of the above.
Same second.
This episode is for you.
We're talking about something thata lot of women don't admit that they

(00:28):
feel, but in all of my conversations,it's a big, big factor, rage.
Here's the truth.
Rage isn't the villain.
It's not something to be ashamedof, and it actually might be the
exact fire that you need to rise.

(00:48):
So it's time to let it out.
It's time to honor our rage.
It's time to acknowledge it, see it, andmost importantly, know how to use it.
To step into your comeback era.
And no, I don't mean act on any of theseinternal thoughts that you have been
having about rage because Well, an orangejumpsuit really isn't your color my love.

(01:10):
We are not going to jail overany of these things for rage.
Okay?
I'm gonna show you how toproperly use it and funnel it to
make your life so much better.
So grab your iced coffee, yourheadphones, maybe a journal,
maybe a plate to break later.
Who knows?
It's gonna get crazy.
Let's go there.

(01:31):
You are listening to HerHeart Heals Divorce Radio.
Hi, I'm Christina Cuevas.
Seven years ago I went through a divorceand it completely turned my world
upside down and I'm so glad it did.
I documented my healing to shareinformation with other women going
through their own divorce journey and now.

(01:53):
With thousands of downloads around theworld from divorced women just like you.
I'm here to show you how to ditchthe shame around divorce and
finally heal so that you can regainthe confidence to create your
most abundant and joyful future.
I'm so glad you're here.
This is her Heart Heals Divorce Radio.

(02:14):
Welcome back to anotherepisode of Rebuilding You.
I'm so stoked I didn'tactually even do anything to
celebrate my hundredth episode.
This is episode 1 0 1.
We are officially in the hundredth,and I cannot believe that.
This podcast all just started while Iwas still going through my divorce and

(02:34):
just talking about my journey and my,my, my how we have evolved and I'm just
so grateful that you have all been withme through this journey and now I have
a lot of you as clients and evolvingin your own world and it's just, it's
truly an honor to be here with you.
Let's talk about this for a second.
Okay.
After my divorce, I was sofocused on being the strong

(02:58):
one, the put together one.
I'm the oldest of five children, so I'vealways been like the responsible one.
I am the, I'm healing,I'm doing the work one.
You know that version, we try tobe the therapy girl who nods calmly
and says things like, oh, I'mprocessing it all with compassion.

(03:19):
I'm learning about my inner child.
But here's what really happened.
I ignored my anger for monthsafter filing for divorce, mostly
because I was like in a big stateof shock, which is totally normal.
You may know what I'm talking about there.
I didn't feel like I reallyhad permission to feel it.

(03:43):
It felt ugly, honestly.
Going into rage felt likeI was accepting my failure.
You know what I mean?
I thought if I let it out, if I fallapart, it's gonna be over for me.
Like I'm gonna lose allcontrol at that point.
And it, that was the onething that I was clinging to.
If I stay calm, maybe I can control this.

(04:03):
Right.
Until one day I snappedwasn't even about my ex.
It was actually my sister.
She made this tiny comment.
Probably didn't evenmean anything by Ashley.
I know she did not mean anything by it.
'cause Well, I'll finish tellingyou, but I completely lost it.

(04:24):
Instant tears, yelling, storming out.
Not my finest moment.
Okay.
When I tell you that I know that sheprobably didn't mean it, it's because
the look on her face was pure shock.
I don't think she had ever seen thatside of me before because I'm so

(04:44):
used to like keeping it together.
Right?
Remember, oldest of fivekids very responsible.
And I remembered afterward, like Iwas just sitting in my bedroom at that
time, shaking, crying, and thinkinglike, where the hell did that come from?

(05:05):
And then I went like, full scorched earth.
Unleash the dragon, if you will.
I started running on the treadmilland I would blast Lincoln Park 30
seconds to Mars for all my fellow30 seconds to Mars lovers out there.

(05:26):
I would just straight rage run.
I don't know it.
Do I have any fellow rage runners like.
Nothing gets my rage out, like sprinting.
And I just remember like I would put myheadphones on blast, these rock songs

(05:46):
and yelling the lyrics into the void ofmy treadmill when I knew that no one was
home and sobbed, I didn't wanna talk.
I didn't wanna hold it together.
I wanted to fucking scream.
I wanted to break things.
I wanted to run until my bodygave out, until I collapsed.

(06:08):
And honestly, that moment and startingto utilize those practices was like the
beginning of everything changing forme because it cracked something open.
Y'all it?
Well, it unleashed.
And here's the thing, rage isn't random.

(06:28):
It's not dangerous.
A lot of people do a lot ofcrazy shit with rage For sure.
Acknowledging that, like I said inthe intro, you know, there's a lot
of things like that people act on thatthey should not act on, but it's sacred
too, about knowing how to use it.
It's the part of you thatremembers that you deserve better.

(06:49):
It's the part of you that's done playingsmall, staying silent, staying stuck.
It's your inner protector that's bangingon that door, yelling , wake the F up.
We are not doing this anymore.
And I talk a lot about this too, abouthow we suppress our inner voice to where

(07:13):
we don't even know what she sounds like.
And the emotion rage is also yourinner voice, just trying to tell you
pay attention to me because there'ssomething, there's something going
on and we're often taught in societyand also as women to bypass it.

(07:36):
To cover it up with gratitude or jumpstraight into forgiveness and like let go.
And it's, that doesn'theal you, it hides you.
And let me tell you what you suppress.
It doesn't disappear.
Hello.

(07:56):
Like those people that like don't thinkthrough their actions and then act on
their rage in ways that land them injail or worse, you know, it festers, it
sis, and it leaks out all kinds of waysin your life at your family, your new

(08:16):
partner, your boss, your job yourself.
Unprocessed rage will bite you in theass eventually, and probably in a way
that feels worse than just screaminginto a pillow or going on a rage walk.
So if you are feeling angry, maybe you'renot feeling angry right now, but if you

(08:42):
go through these cycles still where youare just pissed, good, you're alive.
And that my friends is power.
So here's what I wantyou to consider today.
Just play with this, okay?
What if your rage isn'tactually a problem?

(09:06):
What if it's fuel?
Okay, what if it's fuel?
And instead of asking whyam I so angry or.
I shouldn't even be feeling this way orlike, it's like we consciously know that
we shouldn't be wasting our power on.

(09:28):
Maybe your ex was a shitty person andthey like did something really shitty
and it almost even feels like, why amI spending all of this energy on them?
But like, rage isn't for them.
Rage is for you.
To feel it.
That's why you feel it.
Most likely if you had a shittyex, they're not feeling that rage.
You know, they're just overthere living their stupid lives.

(09:51):
But ask yourself, what is thisanger trying to protect me from him?
Because rage always points to aboundary that was crossed at some point.
And maybe it was repeatedly crossedtime and time and time again.

(10:14):
Where did you abandon yourself?
A part of you that felt silenced, a,a version of you that felt that you
deserved better and you don't need to getover it, you just need to listen to it.
And then.

(10:35):
Learn how to use it, becauseunderneath that anger is grief,
and underneath that grief is truth.
And underneath that truth is your power.
And I want you to have that power backbecause this is your comeback era.
And she's not built on perfection.

(10:56):
We've tried that, right?
Like we've.
Just overcome this life is messyand it's okay that it's not perfect.
She's built on truth for once.
So here's what I recommend.
You don't need a 10 step plan.

(11:17):
Start small, but start being real.
Here's a journal prompt for you.
What am I pretending not to be mad about?
Mm.
See what comes through.
And if nothing comes to mind rightnow, just take it, chew on that for

(11:37):
a little bit and it will come out.
And the second step is embodying it.
Blast your rage.
Playlist, girl.
Move your body.
Punch a pillow, throw that platethat I told you to grab in the intro,
but like do it somewhere safely.
Preferably with goggles,you know, scream in the car.

(11:59):
A third thing that has really helpedme, and this is why I ended up going
and pursuing becoming a breath workpractitioner for trauma release,
this was years ago, is breath work.
One quick thing that you can do, and it'ssomething that I do many times a day now.

(12:21):
Before it was something thatI had to really focus on and
build, but now it's automaticfor me and it can be for you too.
And that's inhaling.
Do it with me right now.
Inhale.
Hold it.
1, 2, 3.
Four, five and sigh it out with a sound.

(12:44):
Ah, let the rage move throughyou instead of clinging to you.
That felt really good.
Didn't it?
Do that as often as you need to.
I do it a lot.
My exhale doesn't soundquite like that anymore, but.

(13:04):
Man, there's something aboutan audible sigh after holding
your breath for five seconds.
That is just magical.
Let it out and then ask yourself whatversion of me is finally ready to be seen.
Because underneath the fire, she's there.

(13:25):
She's so there, and sheis so done settling and.
This is exactly why I created yourgreatest comeback, because this work
isn't about pretending to be okay.
I have a lot of clients who wantthe perfect life, and that's
for sure the goal, right?
But we first have todecide , what is this all for?

(13:48):
We have to get down to the nittygritty because this work isn't
about pretending to be okay.
It is about choosing yourself for realwith the messy emotions, the hot tears,
and the fire in your chest inside ofweek two of your greatest comeback.
We actually go straight into this.
We help you reclaim your time,your self-worth, and your D power.

(14:10):
We move rage through yourbody and not just your mind.
We don't avoid the anger.
We learn how to alchemize it.
Okay.
You don't need to heal quietly.
You need a safe space and then fromthere we rebuild with clarity and
strength and a full body knowinglinks in the show notes for you.

(14:31):
And I've been talking about the wait list.
This is it.
This is the last week that the wait listis going to be open and the wait list
is the only place that you're going toget it at an insanely low price like.
Insanely low.
So you don't have to staystuck in survival mode, babe.

(14:52):
You need to rise.
You get to rise, and this timeyou get to do it on your terms.
And that's mo important if you aretrying to build a life that you
love, because this is your life.
It's not anybody else's.
It's not the Joneses down the street whohave this picture perfect life seemingly.

(15:13):
Yes, this is your life.
You get to design it, and it's veryimportant to start from an authentic
place, weed through all the bullshit, andreally become empowered and confident.
So I'll see you next week, andif you feel the urge today, go
scream to some 30 seconds to Mars.
Let the rage lead you home.