September 19, 2024 • 37 mins
Can understanding human behavior be your ultimate superpower? Join me as I sit down with my friend, the legendary Boston Rob, famed for his strategic mastery on "Survivor" and "Traitors". I kick off our conversation by probing into Rob's unparalleled ability to read people, form genuine alliances, and navigate complex social dynamics. Learn how his unique blend of life experiences, poker skills, business acumen, and a psychology degree from Boston University have equipped him with techniques to succeed in both games and real life. Rob reveals the secrets behind interpreting body language, understanding motivations, and adapting to unforeseen challenges, offering invaluable lessons for everyday interactions.
Next, we explore the emotional rollercoaster of ambition, resilience, and coping with loss. Boston Rob opens up about balancing high aspirations with staying true to oneself amidst inevitable setbacks. Through poignant personal anecdotes, including the recent loss of a beloved pet and his daughter's first golf match, Rob provides insights on maintaining optimism and emotional resilience. This segment offers a heartfelt look at managing expectations and staying grounded while pursuing one's goals, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating the ups and downs of life.
Finally, get ready for a thrilling dive into the world of risk and intuition. Rob delves into the complex dance between gut feelings and logical decision-making, especially in high-stakes environments like poker. We discuss the ethical dimensions of using fear as a tactic, and how personal responsibilities can shape one's approach to risk. Wrapping up on a lighter note, Rob shares his entertaining experiences on game shows like "Deal or No Deal Island" and "Traitors," recounting the challenges and fun of competing under the spotlight. Don't miss this captivating episode filled with humor, wisdom, and actionable strategies for success.
Connect with Rob on Instagram
CHAPTERS:
04:26
The Importance of Reading People
08:28
Having a Sense of Self
10:21
Balancing Risk and Reward
13:44
Managing Fear
16:20
Embracing the Journey
20:51
Taking Care of Oneself
23:47
The Role of Intuition
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
welcome wrong, I can't even.
I can't even welcome you to thepodcast like a normal guest
because we start, yeah, westarted okay, is it on delay no,
why is it delayed for?
It's not delayed for me?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I saw the countdown oh, that's, don't worry about
that, okay, um can you edit thisafter?
I'm not going to edit it, sojust just don't curse.
Try to be normal, okay and yeah, just pretend you're on
television.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Okay, let's go Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
So for people who don't know Boston, rob and I
worked together on listen to meSecret Celebrity Renovation and
you and I have been on the roada lot together but you're famous
because of Survivor and youknow this, but most people don't
know I've actually never seen ashow in my life and you're like
(00:55):
, apparently a big deal on thisshow.
You've played what four times,can I?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
tell you to shut up on your own show.
Like is that?
Like?
Like, do other people do that?
Because?
We're going to keep it, as theysay, 100 on this episode.
Okay, Because you're out ofcontrol already, because I don't
even know who's going.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well, so you, olivia, and I did also watch you on the
last show that you just did,which is Deal or no Deal Island,
and we loved watching it and Isaw what a chess player you are
with people and that's whatyou're known for.
And you wrote a book calledBoss and Rob's Rules to Life
right Strategies, basically,that you used on the show.
So that's what I want to talkto you.
(01:38):
If you could just act normalfor the next 30 minutes, for the
next 30 minutes is how you mean?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
do people even know you like in real life?
Because I'm so confused.
But okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
But like, how did you , when you were on Survivor,
like, how did you know how toread people and I know that you
do that constantly but is itjust something that you were
born with, or is it somethingthat somebody can learn how to
sort of read people andunderstand people's personas and
then use that to your benefit?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah.
So I think, like you know, tolook at what I've done on
Survivor over the course of 20years, it's like a culmination
of like from when I was 25 yearsold, the first time I played,
until now.
So I didn't have all the lifeexperience that I have now.
When I first played so I don'tknow that innately I knew right
(02:35):
away how to read people.
I think like it's somethingI've developed over the course
of time with my life, withplaying the game of poker, with
learning about business, and alot of people don't know I
actually have a degree inpsychology from Boston
University, so I've also alwaysbeen fascinated.
(02:57):
I'm going to need to see thatdiploma, yeah actually, you know
what I was thinking that youmight ask.
So I got right.
Yeah, look at that.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh my gosh I knew you would never believe me.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You're really good at photoshop actually, uh, no, we
just moved and I still got stuffall over my office and it was
right there.
But that was pretty quickthinking.
Uh, I don't know.
I just like always like beenfascinated by why different
people act differently indifferent situations.
(03:30):
And one thing I've learned aboutmyself and I talked about this
in the book that I wrote like 15years ago is that, like you
have to know who you are beforeyou go out there to play these
kinds of games, have to know whoyou are before you go out there
to play these kinds of games,and you have to have a good
sense of self.
And if you really want tounderstand people's motivations,
(03:52):
you have to try to see the gamethrough their lens, through
their eyes.
Right, like it's reallyimportant.
A lot of people say you can seethe other person's point of
view, but unless you canactually see what's in their
best interest, then you'll neverfind that common ground to try
(04:14):
to figure out a way to alignyour best interest and their
best interest, and only thenwill you be able to figure out
real alliances.
So you have to pay attentionLike I know it sounds
ridiculously simple and easy,but watch what people do and
their body language, theiractions give away so much more
(04:38):
than what comes out of theirmouth.
Yeah, you know they can say onething, but how they act and how
they portray themselves isactually a better indicator on
how to read people.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, so for everyone who's listening no one who's
listening I'm going to go outand say that like is going to be
on Survivor, so forget aboutthe game of Survivor.
But that is interesting, younever know, Well, that's true,
that's true.
I think you said that I wouldwin.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No, I never said that , not once.
As a matter of fact, I thinkthe two words I used were don't
bother.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
No, that's not true.
You actually said that Iwouldn't do bad.
I wouldn't do bad, I wouldn'tdo that.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
That was the best compliment you said you ever
received, because I said, uh, Idon't, I don't think, uh, you
would do so bad.
Yeah, that doesn't mean thatyou would do good.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
But so how do you use these, the same sort of rules
or the same tactics that youused on survivor or any of the
other shows, because I know youwere also on the traders, which
hasn't aired yet I how do youuse that in everyday life?
How do you use it, even just inpoker, in just taking the kids
to school?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I mean the lessons are applicable for, like all
different things.
I think the two main things,the two biggest, biggest
indicators to doing well onshows like these and in business
, in life and in relationships,is number one your ability to
adapt to situations.
Like a lot of times you have toexpect the unexpected, like
(06:18):
life continuously is going tothrow you curveballs, is going
to throw you curveballs, andit's like how do you deal with
that adversity?
How do you take something thatis outside of your control and
figure out a way to deal with itto get a positive outcome?
And the second thing is yoursocial awareness and this, a
(06:40):
little bit people are born with.
You know, but you have to beable to read the room.
You have to know, like, at theend of the day, how other people
are perceiving you and you haveto be able to do it accurately
because, like, perception isreality for everyone.
(07:00):
You know, like there are peoplethat are good at their craft,
and I don't want to name them,but people I know in poker
specifically.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Okay, you can name me .
Speaker 2 (07:12):
They're really good at their craft, but they're like
terrible.
They have no self-awareness.
They don't understand.
You know how they're perceivedby others.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, wait, let's go back to that, because you said
that in the beginning that youhave to have a sense of self.
What does that mean to you,having a sense of self?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It's simply knowing who you are.
Right Like Survivor is not theplace, or any of these game
shows are not the place, to tryto figure out who you are.
That's why I would never letany of my kids play these games
at 18, 19 years old.
They don't have enoughexperience.
So knowing who you are meanslike what do you stand for?
(07:51):
Where's your line in the sand?
Where are your moral compass?
You know, and at the same time,what?
Where are you willing to go inthese different situations?
What are you willing tocompromise?
Because if you just stand upthere and say I not going to lie
to anybody, I'm not going to doanything and the game actually
requires that, you're actuallyhandcuffing yourself and you're
(08:12):
putting yourself at a hugedisadvantage.
You might as well stay home.
Like the name of the show issurvivor.
It's strategy based, it'salliance based, it's
relationship based.
It's not about who's the besthas the best morals, you know
because, like inside the game,I'll do whatever it takes to win
to a degree.
You know where other peoplewon't.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
But that's not true, rob, because even in Deal or no
Deal, you had such a connectionwith Aaron and there were times
that you put yourself out on theline for that friendship.
So I don't think that that'strue, that you would do whatever
it takes to win, because youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So Deal or no Deal is a little different.
It's a lot different show rightFrom a strategy standpoint,
versus Survivor.
In Deal or no Deal Island thereis a lot that is left up to
chance that you can't control.
Ironically, when I first got outthere and went to the island to
(09:13):
play that game, I was superfrustrated with the format
because essentially for thepeople that don't know, there's
a challenge, or they call themexcursions where you can earn
safety through immunity, throughthe highest case value, and
then only one person earns thatand then the other two people
(09:36):
that are at the bottomessentially one of them will
face off against the banker in agame of deal or no deal, where
the winner of that game isallowed to eliminate anybody
else in the game, with theexception of the person at the
top.
So to simplify because I knowthat's complicated for a lot of
(09:57):
people basically there's achallenge or an excursion and
one person does really good andtwo people do really bad and
everybody else is in the middle.
The people that do really badthen have a chance to eliminate
someone else.
So you're basically giving somuch power to the people on the
(10:18):
bottom yeah, at first I foundthat so incredibly frustrating,
right?
because Because I was like man,like here's someone that's
terrible and if they get luckyin the game, they're allowed to
eliminate you.
But as this season went on, Irealized like, optimally, it's
better to be in the bottom andrisk your life in the game in
(10:42):
order to eliminate someone else.
So the lesson I guess is likein order to really live, you
have to be willing to die, whicha lot of people aren't right,
like you have to be willing toput your life on the line in
order to go forward and moveahead Right.
And even if you do, there'sstill so much that's left up to
(11:06):
chance, which, for someone likeme that likes to control a
situation, likes to try to getall my bases covered and
strategically figure out whatthe best move is.
That was really hard, but again, at the end of the game, I
realized the genius behind theformat, because it's a lot like
life in that there aresituations that are going to
(11:27):
come up in everyone's life thatyou can't control.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And then you revert back to the lessons that I
learned in Survivor, and that isyou know, you have to be
willing to adapt to thesituation.
Yeah, it's simple.
My mother always used to tellme you know, if you can do
something about it, get movingand do something about it, and
if you can't, don't worry aboutit and move on.
And it's really simple.
But I think a lot of people getcaught up in the everyday.
(11:56):
You know, what, if, what couldI, what should I?
You know, instead of like justtake action and do it if you can
.
You know, you know, instead oflike just take action and do it
if you can, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I think people would be surprised and you, I know you
mess with me a lot, especiallyon my social media with your
horrible comments that you leaveon my posts, but I think people
would be surprised how much ofa friendship we've.
We've created and, like you'remy brother and we even have a
code.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh, I'm your brother now.
Was I adopted by your mom, orhow did it work?
How did that happen?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
No, but we've created such a good friendship that we
even have a code word that if Ineed something like it's, you
know it's an emergency andyou've helped me through, like
even now, with everything that'sgoing through with my dog.
Like you talk to me on thephone and, and you and I have
had, we are, I would say,especially for a TV relationship
, like working relationship.
(12:49):
We're really close.
So for everyone who's listeningthey've listened to me for
years Like how, how did you readme when you first met me on set
?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, uh, you want me to give the funny story or the
real story, I don't know I mean.
So you had a lot going on inyour personal life at the time
when we first met.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But you put that aside and you were very
welcoming to me.
I was obviously the new personyou know on the crew at the time
and you made me feelcomfortable and made me feel at
home and I always appreciatedthat you know, and then I give
you a noogie.
And my ears have been bleedingfor the last three years, ever
(13:38):
since then.
You know it's like you, you cantell like you're a go-getter,
you're always hustling, youalways have something else going
on and I think, likelike-minded people that work
hard and michelle too, you knowshe's, she's always on the go
and I think, uh, what's coolabout our little group on Secret
(14:00):
Celebrity Renovation is that'ssomething we come together to do
, but outside of that, we all doother things as well.
Yeah, you know, um, and I thinkpeople that that you know.
Like I say, I use that wordlike in a positive way, not in a
negative way, but like you workhard, you go after what you
want, you're ambitious, you know, and that's not everybody.
(14:25):
And what's wild is like it couldbe everybody, but it's not
meant to be everybody, everybody.
Like I feel like you know, uh,some people given the
opportunity.
I think that one of the reasonswhy I've been able to do this
for over 20 years is like I'vebeen consistently me.
(14:46):
Like you can talk to my buddiesfrom high school, from grade
school.
I still keep in touch with them.
They'll tell you I'm still thesame kid I was back then, you
know, and I think in a littlebit of a weird way, in the
television world and likeentertainment.
Maybe that's refreshing a littlebit, like like my buddies would
(15:07):
never let it go to my headanyway you know, but I think
it's a little bit of an Eastcoast mentality where you know,
like you're never going to gettoo big, like your boys will
just put you right back in line.
So, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Wait, going back to you were saying that to have the
sense of self.
And then you were your life ormotto of just like, if you could
do something about it, do it,and if not, in my life now I'm
going through a loss of my dogand there's nothing I can do
about that.
And so I was talking to afriend of mine earlier.
Just, you know I'm I've gonethrough a lot of stuff in my
(15:47):
life, a lot, and I just, youknow, get up and get out of bed
and just keep going.
And this is, I think, the firsttime actually I know it's the
first time in my entire lifethat I feel this like
debilitating, like horribleheaviness.
And so what do you say when, ifanybody's listening to this and
(16:08):
they are going through somesort of transition, whether it's
a loss of a pet or a divorce orof a job, of just not being
able to get out of the rut, like, how do you deal with that in
your own life?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You want me to be Dr Phil.
I'm Dr Rob.
You want me to put my Dr Robhat on the psychology hat.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Because you have to, you've, you've, you know how to
deal with things like right.
Isn't that what?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
that's why you've won at all these games.
I think, like you know, it comesback to.
You have to try to put yourselfin the other person's position.
You have to try to see itthrough their eyes.
So of course it's superemotional.
Like that emotion is the reasonwhy you're feeling the feelings
that you're feeling Anyone thatloses a pet or a loved one,
(16:53):
anything At the same time.
Like if you take the emotionout of it which is hard to do
because you're in it, right.
But if you take the emotion outof it, everybody dies, right.
All pets are going to dieeventually, like that's just a
part of life.
That's who we are Like.
At some point the end comesfrom everyone.
So when I say try to see itthrough the other person's point
(17:17):
of view, I'm not even sayingthrough your eyes, I'm saying
through your dog's eyes.
It's not about you.
You have to honor your dog andthat you know.
Like, without a doubt, eventhough it's painful for you, you
don't want her to suffer, right?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But what if somebody is listening to this and they're
going through a big transitionof loss, even if it's a
relationship or a job orwhatever?
How have you dealt with loss inyour life?
Because you've not always wonSurvivor.
You've not always won everypoker game that you've won, of
course.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I lose a lot more than I win, but I I just I feel
like something better is coming.
I don't know, I know that's notthe really the answer, but like
, like, it's like I'm able toseparate right, like and I think
that's a hard thing, but theemotional part of it right.
(18:18):
A lot of people fold underpressure because the emotion,
the stress, the pressure is toomuch.
I have found that I like thatsituation.
When the pressure's on, I feellike that's when I do my best.
Like when the pressure's on, Ifeel like that's when I do my
best.
So, as far as like loss goes, Imean I'm realistic about the
(18:43):
prospect.
When I go into these games, youknow if there's 20 people in
the game, you have a 5% chanceof winning.
That means 95% of the timeyou're not going to win.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm super optimistic and I feellike my odds are even better
and I go in to play these gamesand I'm going to give everything
(19:04):
I have to win and I believe I'mgoing to win and that's what I
want to do If it doesn't happen.
I mean, you know I don't makemy whole identity everything
about me about one game, onething.
I'll give you an example, andthis is.
This is super personal and veryfresh, but but I'll give you a
real life example.
(19:24):
Uh, yesterday my daughter hadher first golf match, you know,
and it was her first timecompeting against other kids in
another school and she didn't dogreat.
I mean, they were great, shedid great throughout, you know,
(19:45):
the match.
She hit some good shots andeverything, but she didn't score
great.
And then after, you know, shewas really emotional about it
and I was like man, I was like Ineed to, you know, do the right
thing here and like teach her,you know, and I didn't want to
like give her like hard love,like you know, because at this
stage, what's that going to do?
(20:06):
It's just going to discourageher.
Golf is a really hard game.
I'm 48 years old and I'm stillnot a professional.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm still not aprofessional, you know what I
mean.
Like I'm I'm not even any goodreally, but um, but I was just.
Like you know, lucia, like youknow, it's your first match.
It's one time you've gonethrough this.
(20:26):
You're gonna lose a lot,there's gonna be a lot of losses
, but it's not like you know howyou if you win or lose, but how
you handle it right it's soweird.
I got another thing right here.
I'm just.
It's staring at me in my faceand I swear to god this is not
planned, but this is right here.
(20:46):
This is real life, like it'sstuck here can you see that?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
can you read that?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
no, there's a champion is not someone who wins
all the?
Time.
A champion is someone who giveseverything they've got to win.
Yep, and it's like you know so,throughout life you're going to
have losses and that's a partof life, but like persistence
(21:14):
and getting up and keeping goingis like what's important.
And, uh, then I took her outfor ice cream and we're good
today, because there'll beanother match next week and
we're gonna practice again.
So I mean like, uh, it'semotional and I think that's
what emotions like.
You have to try to get emotionout of stuff.
(21:35):
You see it in business all thetime.
You know negotiating.
If you let the emotion and I'mguilty of it too, sometimes you
know I feel a certain way aboutsomething and then once you
realize that's not your brain,that's not logic talking, that's
your emotion that's where youultimately end up having
(21:56):
problems if you let youremotions dictate your actions.
It's hard, especially a gamelike survivor, where you know at
its core it's a relationshipgame right so, again, for the
people that don't know, itstarts with a certain amount of
people as the the people arevoted off.
As you vote the people off, atsome point they make up a jury,
(22:20):
and when there's only two orthree people left, those people
that you voted off come back todecide which one is going to be
the winner.
So at that point it's out ofyour hands.
So you have to realize that,like even when you're slitting
their throats and doing what youhave to do to advance in the
game, how you make them feel isgoing to dictate how they vote.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Sometimes they vote for the person they like the
most and the person they want towin.
Other times they spitefullyvote against that person.
That made them feel bad.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Right, right Right.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So it'll come back to bite you in the ass.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So you, you know you, I, I watch you on set and you
do read people and you do alwaysthink that you're right.
But I know that you're notbecause you think that you're
right with me.
That's your emotion talkingright now no, no, no, that's
actually just luck, but I amactually.
But when is?
Obviously you haven't beenright about everything.
What's?
Have there been times in thesegames, or even in poker, where
(23:26):
you really felt the intuitionthat you were right, but you
weren't?
Or do you like?
Does that also like?
Do you second guess yourself alot, because you're not always
hitting?
You know a home run.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
No, I mean it's ridiculous, but like I, I feel.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Because you have a sense of humor about it.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
No, now like I feel confident in like what I believe
, like I do, and I think likethat goes back to knowing who
you are.
I know who I am.
Can I learn things somethingnew?
Yeah, I can learn new things,even at my age, but like I like
fundamentally who I am now, likeI feel confident, you know, and
(24:14):
when I feel it I say it and alot of it is off the cuff Right,
because I think, like you know,if anything earlier when I was
younger, I would do things youknow and feel like sometimes you
feel something right and youact on it and sometimes you're
(24:37):
wrong about that.
So I think with age, like I'velearned to not be so matter of
fact, even though I know thatkind of goes directly against
what you just said.
But, like some things, I justknow it and I feel it and I feel
like I am confident about it.
For that reason um, I don'tknow, it's a tricky question
(25:03):
because, depending on thesituation, I might have a
different answer, because I canthink of times in poker where
I've been.
Poker is not a science, it is,it's math-based, but there's
also that intuition, that goesalong with it.
(25:28):
Intuition, right, that goesalong with it.
And you know, theoretically youshould err on the side of the
math almost always.
You should like embrace themath, because the math doesn't
lie.
The math may be, you may belucky or unlucky, but it doesn't
lie.
But every once in a while youkind of go against it because
you have a feeling aboutsomething.
And I do think there issomething you know beyond like
(25:55):
just physics and statistics andmath.
That is this you know,unquantifiable sense that you
get from a situation where youact a certain way and like you
say a mother's intuition or likeat the poker table, they call
(26:15):
it a soul read, like I read hissoul, I knew he was bluffing, uh
, in survivor, like like a lotof times though, like you can go
back and you can see there weresigns, but they may have been
subconscious that you didn't see.
But I do think there'ssomething to like.
I don't want you to get all tooexcited because I know you're
(26:35):
into crystals and energy andMiss Leo and all of that stuff,
but like there is something toit.
But I wouldn't base my wholelife on that.
You know, I wouldn't base mywhole life on that.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You know you wouldn't base your whole life on your
intuition.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
No, well, no, I wouldn't, because I feel like
intuition combined with likethese other things.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's the thing.
It's like paying attention,like you call it intuition, but
like you pay attention.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
This person did this over and over and over again
they're probably gonna do itagain.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You know they have a history of doing it no, he
promised me he was gonna change.
Yeah, yeah yeah, I feel likewe've had this conversation
before this time he meant ithold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I may have recorded it somewhere too no, you're
right, it's because asespecially for me as a woman
like we do have strong intuition, but it's there's also times
that it's not necessarilyintuition and it's fear, and you
have to just be able todecipher what, what was really
talking to you, and and use yourknowledge base and your gut.
(27:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
But you know interesting that you bring up
fear, because fear is an emotionwhere, depending on the
situation in real life probablynot, but in these games you can
really use it to your advantage.
You can use it against otherpeople.
You can identify their fears,because the truth is right.
(28:09):
If you want to manipulate asituation, all you have to do is
understand what motivates theother person and prey on that.
Some people are motivated byfear.
Some people are motivated byfear, they're afraid.
So if you lean into that, thenyou can dictate their actions,
(28:31):
which is pretty ridiculous.
I mean, that's like a tacticthat you could use in a game
like Survivor or on Traders orsomething like that.
But in real life it would.
In business, it would be seen asunethical, even though it
happens all the time with, likecorporate takeover right, you
see it where.
(28:51):
Or real estate deals, or, youknow, like people fearing, like
they're going to lose, somethinglike the fear of loss is so
much more powerful than you know.
The opportunity of gain, yeah,right, like if, you, if, if, if
I offered you, you know, oranybody, your entire net worth
(29:16):
over the over a seventy five,twenty five flip of a coin that
was weighted three quarters inyour favor.
So three out of four timesyou're going to win that bet and
you'll double your net worth,but one out of four times,
potentially you lose everything.
A lot of people would say, noway, I'm never going for that.
(29:37):
The math says you should alwaysgo for it.
It's skewed in your favor in abig way, but the prospect of
loss is so powerful that youwould lose everything and have
to start over.
It's paralyzing to some peopleand I think when you talk about
risk versus reward and makingdecisions and how you act, a lot
(30:02):
of the people that are able tounderstand that risk and manage
it and embrace it ultimatelyalways end up going further,
right?
So in that example you can usein all aspects of life.
But, like everything is how youfeel and whether or not how you
(30:26):
manage your own risk factor, inwhatever it is.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, and in that, in the risks that you take.
I mean you have a family, youhave four girls.
It's a little bit more of aresponsibility when you're when
you do have a family to providefor.
How do you manage those fears,knowing that there are so many
people that rely on you?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Yeah, so it's calculated now, right.
So like I'm not 25 years oldand risking everything on the
flip of a coin, even if it isweighted three quarter 25, right
.
But I think understanding therisk and being balanced in your
approach, right, like so, youdon't want to be too safe all
(31:10):
the time.
If you're always take the safepath, the super conservative
path all the time, you're nevergoing to get anywhere than where
you're going.
As a matter of fact, you couldlose, you know, in the long run.
From a financial point of view,if you keep your money in the
bank and the interest you'reearning in the bank doesn't
outpace inflation, your money isworth less year after year
(31:33):
after year and eventually you'regoing to run out.
But, more importantly thanfinances, the clock is ticking
for everyone, right, and I knowyou're going through it with
your dog right now, but everyone of us has an internal clock.
We're only here for a certainamount of time, so how you
choose to spend your time is upto you, and that balance factor
(31:59):
is really.
You know, everybody has toweigh that equally differently
for themselves.
The biggest thing I've learnednow at my stage of life is
there's no destination.
We're not getting to beanywhere where we're going to
watch it on a beach and that'sit.
Like this is it?
The journey is the destination.
(32:21):
So a little bit the my phonerings like you want to go do
this.
If I want to go do it, I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
You know, at the same timewe've got to balance family
because you've got to make surethey're good, make sure you know
they're accounted for andthey're getting their cup full.
You can't just focus all yourenergy on getting to a place,
(32:50):
because then your time will runout.
The other thing my dad alwaystold me, which I thought was
important, was that if your cupis not full, you can't give to
anyone else.
Yes, that's true, so make sureyou take care of yourself too,
and sometimes I'm guilty ofrunning here and there and doing
everything and I forget to dothat and I get burnt out.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
But yeah, Any other life lessons you need to know
Well so when you walk intospeaking of calculations, like
when you walk into a room do youlike scan people for their body
language?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
For the record, we we gotta take a little break here
and I gotta let the people knowthis is like the nicest you've
been to me for the longestperiod of time at one time
without losing it.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Usually something happens, so let's just lock it
down, okay right, this is likewe've gone 33 minutes of me not
calling you a bad name or makingfun of you.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
So this is not normal , guys.
This is her television persona.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Do you want to be on the show every week, just so
that you can get my nice, thenice Sabrina?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That's the show that would pop off.
We get the real Sabrina.
Nobody needs to see that.
Nobody needs to.
Real Sabrina Nobody needs tosee that.
Nobody needs to see that.
Nobody needs to see that.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
But when you walk into a room, do you scan people?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
I don't know.
I just kind of feel like I'maware, I'm aware, I've just been
perceptive of what's going onand I'm not trying to size
anybody up or anything like that.
But, um, you know, simple, likelessons that I've learned
(34:34):
throughout my life, that likejust come natural.
Now that I don't I'm not tryingto analyze everybody in a
certain situation.
I mean, let me preface it bysaying if we're playing a game
like Survivor or Trade or theDeal or no Deal Island, then I'm
absolutely paying attention toeverything, even little micro
(34:54):
movements and sayings, in everylittle detail, and I pick up on
on it.
And that's because ofexperience I have.
But in a normal, everydaysetting, if you're asking me if
I analyze you on a secretcelebrity renovation, absolutely
I do.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, but you, you're not always right.
You're not always right, andI've told you that just when we
were shooting last week.
You were wrong about somethingand but you're always adamant
that you think you know it all.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
But that's the next episode.
Twice in the last 20 years isokay, right um, I can't wait to
see you on traders.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I can't wait to see you on traders it's going to be
my appointment television that Ihaven't had in years, so I I'm
looking forward to that, becauseolivia and I loved watching you
on Deal or no Deal.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah, deal or no Deal Island was fun.
It was a different format.
It was once I understood.
You know the game and I pickedit up pretty quickly.
It became a lot of fun and it'sa fun show Until you cheated.
Traders is different in a lotof different ways, but it's
(36:07):
always.
You know, it's hard now for meto go play these shows because I
have such a reputation andpeople know me and everything,
but at the same time I love thechallenge of it.
So it's going to be fun towatch.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
I'll tell you that I can't wait For everyone who's
listening.
I'll put all of Rob'sinformation on the bottom.
Don't even bother dming him, hedoesn't even read him.
So just, it's gonna be a wasteof time.
I'll argue with you when you'reout.
Well, thank you, rob, for beingon the show.
I hope you're over.
It's over, see, I told you itwas gonna be painless I know how
(36:41):
nice I was you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Finally, let me come on.
Okay, I've been asking youforever.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Wait, don't hang up.
What do you mean?
Don't hang up?
welcome wrong, I can't even.
I can't even welcome you to thepodcast like a normal guest
because we start, yeah, westarted okay, is it on delay no,
why is it delayed for?
It's not delayed for me?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I saw the countdown oh, that's, don't worry about
that, okay, um can you edit thisafter?
I'm not going to edit it, sojust just don't curse.
Try to be normal, okay and yeah, just pretend you're on
television.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Okay, let's go Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
So for people who don't know Boston, rob and I
worked together on listen to meSecret Celebrity Renovation and
you and I have been on the roada lot together but you're famous
because of Survivor and youknow this, but most people don't
know I've actually never seen ashow in my life and you're like
(00:55):
, apparently a big deal on thisshow.
You've played what four times,can I?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
tell you to shut up on your own show.
Like is that?
Like?
Like, do other people do that?
Because?
We're going to keep it, as theysay, 100 on this episode.
Okay, Because you're out ofcontrol already, because I don't
even know who's going.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well, so you, olivia, and I did also watch you on the
last show that you just did,which is Deal or no Deal Island,
and we loved watching it and Isaw what a chess player you are
with people and that's whatyou're known for.
And you wrote a book calledBoss and Rob's Rules to Life
right Strategies, basically,that you used on the show.
So that's what I want to talkto you.
(01:38):
If you could just act normalfor the next 30 minutes, for the
next 30 minutes is how you mean?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
do people even know you like in real life?
Because I'm so confused.
But okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
But like, how did you , when you were on Survivor,
like, how did you know how toread people and I know that you
do that constantly but is itjust something that you were
born with, or is it somethingthat somebody can learn how to
sort of read people andunderstand people's personas and
then use that to your benefit?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah.
So I think, like you know, tolook at what I've done on
Survivor over the course of 20years, it's like a culmination
of like from when I was 25 yearsold, the first time I played,
until now.
So I didn't have all the lifeexperience that I have now.
When I first played so I don'tknow that innately I knew right
(02:35):
away how to read people.
I think like it's somethingI've developed over the course
of time with my life, withplaying the game of poker, with
learning about business, and alot of people don't know I
actually have a degree inpsychology from Boston
University, so I've also alwaysbeen fascinated.
(02:57):
I'm going to need to see thatdiploma, yeah actually, you know
what I was thinking that youmight ask.
So I got right.
Yeah, look at that.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh my gosh I knew you would never believe me.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You're really good at photoshop actually, uh, no, we
just moved and I still got stuffall over my office and it was
right there.
But that was pretty quickthinking.
Uh, I don't know.
I just like always like beenfascinated by why different
people act differently indifferent situations.
(03:30):
And one thing I've learned aboutmyself and I talked about this
in the book that I wrote like 15years ago is that, like you
have to know who you are beforeyou go out there to play these
kinds of games, have to know whoyou are before you go out there
to play these kinds of games,and you have to have a good
sense of self.
And if you really want tounderstand people's motivations,
(03:52):
you have to try to see the gamethrough their lens, through
their eyes.
Right, like it's reallyimportant.
A lot of people say you can seethe other person's point of
view, but unless you canactually see what's in their
best interest, then you'll neverfind that common ground to try
(04:14):
to figure out a way to alignyour best interest and their
best interest, and only thenwill you be able to figure out
real alliances.
So you have to pay attentionLike I know it sounds
ridiculously simple and easy,but watch what people do and
their body language, theiractions give away so much more
(04:38):
than what comes out of theirmouth.
Yeah, you know they can say onething, but how they act and how
they portray themselves isactually a better indicator on
how to read people.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, so for everyone who's listening no one who's
listening I'm going to go outand say that like is going to be
on Survivor, so forget aboutthe game of Survivor.
But that is interesting, younever know, Well, that's true,
that's true.
I think you said that I wouldwin.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
No, I never said that , not once.
As a matter of fact, I thinkthe two words I used were don't
bother.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
No, that's not true.
You actually said that Iwouldn't do bad.
I wouldn't do bad, I wouldn'tdo that.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
That was the best compliment you said you ever
received, because I said, uh, Idon't, I don't think, uh, you
would do so bad.
Yeah, that doesn't mean thatyou would do good.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
But so how do you use these, the same sort of rules
or the same tactics that youused on survivor or any of the
other shows, because I know youwere also on the traders, which
hasn't aired yet I how do youuse that in everyday life?
How do you use it, even just inpoker, in just taking the kids
to school?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I mean the lessons are applicable for, like all
different things.
I think the two main things,the two biggest, biggest
indicators to doing well onshows like these and in business
, in life and in relationships,is number one your ability to
adapt to situations.
Like a lot of times you have toexpect the unexpected, like
(06:18):
life continuously is going tothrow you curveballs, is going
to throw you curveballs, andit's like how do you deal with
that adversity?
How do you take something thatis outside of your control and
figure out a way to deal with itto get a positive outcome?
And the second thing is yoursocial awareness and this, a
(06:40):
little bit people are born with.
You know, but you have to beable to read the room.
You have to know, like, at theend of the day, how other people
are perceiving you and you haveto be able to do it accurately
because, like, perception isreality for everyone.
(07:00):
You know, like there are peoplethat are good at their craft,
and I don't want to name them,but people I know in poker
specifically.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Okay, you can name me .
Speaker 2 (07:12):
They're really good at their craft, but they're like
terrible.
They have no self-awareness.
They don't understand.
You know how they're perceivedby others.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, wait, let's go back to that, because you said
that in the beginning that youhave to have a sense of self.
What does that mean to you,having a sense of self?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It's simply knowing who you are.
Right Like Survivor is not theplace, or any of these game
shows are not the place, to tryto figure out who you are.
That's why I would never letany of my kids play these games
at 18, 19 years old.
They don't have enoughexperience.
So knowing who you are meanslike what do you stand for?
(07:51):
Where's your line in the sand?
Where are your moral compass?
You know, and at the same time,what?
Where are you willing to go inthese different situations?
What are you willing tocompromise?
Because if you just stand upthere and say I not going to lie
to anybody, I'm not going to doanything and the game actually
requires that, you're actuallyhandcuffing yourself and you're
(08:12):
putting yourself at a hugedisadvantage.
You might as well stay home.
Like the name of the show issurvivor.
It's strategy based, it'salliance based, it's
relationship based.
It's not about who's the besthas the best morals, you know
because, like inside the game,I'll do whatever it takes to win
to a degree.
You know where other peoplewon't.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
But that's not true, rob, because even in Deal or no
Deal, you had such a connectionwith Aaron and there were times
that you put yourself out on theline for that friendship.
So I don't think that that'strue, that you would do whatever
it takes to win, because youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So Deal or no Deal is a little different.
It's a lot different show rightFrom a strategy standpoint,
versus Survivor.
In Deal or no Deal Island thereis a lot that is left up to
chance that you can't control.
Ironically, when I first got outthere and went to the island to
(09:13):
play that game, I was superfrustrated with the format
because essentially for thepeople that don't know, there's
a challenge, or they call themexcursions where you can earn
safety through immunity, throughthe highest case value, and
then only one person earns thatand then the other two people
(09:36):
that are at the bottomessentially one of them will
face off against the banker in agame of deal or no deal, where
the winner of that game isallowed to eliminate anybody
else in the game, with theexception of the person at the
top.
So to simplify because I knowthat's complicated for a lot of
(09:57):
people basically there's achallenge or an excursion and
one person does really good andtwo people do really bad and
everybody else is in the middle.
The people that do really badthen have a chance to eliminate
someone else.
So you're basically giving somuch power to the people on the
(10:18):
bottom yeah, at first I foundthat so incredibly frustrating,
right?
because Because I was like man,like here's someone that's
terrible and if they get luckyin the game, they're allowed to
eliminate you.
But as this season went on, Irealized like, optimally, it's
better to be in the bottom andrisk your life in the game in
(10:42):
order to eliminate someone else.
So the lesson I guess is likein order to really live, you
have to be willing to die, whicha lot of people aren't right,
like you have to be willing toput your life on the line in
order to go forward and moveahead Right.
And even if you do, there'sstill so much that's left up to
(11:06):
chance, which, for someone likeme that likes to control a
situation, likes to try to getall my bases covered and
strategically figure out whatthe best move is.
That was really hard, but again, at the end of the game, I
realized the genius behind theformat, because it's a lot like
life in that there aresituations that are going to
(11:27):
come up in everyone's life thatyou can't control.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And then you revert back to the lessons that I
learned in Survivor, and that isyou know, you have to be
willing to adapt to thesituation.
Yeah, it's simple.
My mother always used to tellme you know, if you can do
something about it, get movingand do something about it, and
if you can't, don't worry aboutit and move on.
And it's really simple.
But I think a lot of people getcaught up in the everyday.
(11:56):
You know, what, if, what couldI, what should I?
You know, instead of like justtake action and do it if you can
.
You know, you know, instead oflike just take action and do it
if you can, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I think people would be surprised and you, I know you
mess with me a lot, especiallyon my social media with your
horrible comments that you leaveon my posts, but I think people
would be surprised how much ofa friendship we've.
We've created and, like you'remy brother and we even have a
code.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh, I'm your brother now.
Was I adopted by your mom, orhow did it work?
How did that happen?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
No, but we've created such a good friendship that we
even have a code word that if Ineed something like it's, you
know it's an emergency andyou've helped me through, like
even now, with everything that'sgoing through with my dog.
Like you talk to me on thephone and, and you and I have
had, we are, I would say,especially for a TV relationship
, like working relationship.
(12:49):
We're really close.
So for everyone who's listeningthey've listened to me for
years Like how, how did you readme when you first met me on set
?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, uh, you want me to give the funny story or the
real story, I don't know I mean.
So you had a lot going on inyour personal life at the time
when we first met.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But you put that aside and you were very
welcoming to me.
I was obviously the new personyou know on the crew at the time
and you made me feelcomfortable and made me feel at
home and I always appreciatedthat you know, and then I give
you a noogie.
And my ears have been bleedingfor the last three years, ever
(13:38):
since then.
You know it's like you, you cantell like you're a go-getter,
you're always hustling, youalways have something else going
on and I think, likelike-minded people that work
hard and michelle too, you knowshe's, she's always on the go
and I think, uh, what's coolabout our little group on Secret
(14:00):
Celebrity Renovation is that'ssomething we come together to do
, but outside of that, we all doother things as well.
Yeah, you know, um, and I thinkpeople that that you know.
Like I say, I use that wordlike in a positive way, not in a
negative way, but like you workhard, you go after what you
want, you're ambitious, you know, and that's not everybody.
(14:25):
And what's wild is like it couldbe everybody, but it's not
meant to be everybody, everybody.
Like I feel like you know, uh,some people given the
opportunity.
I think that one of the reasonswhy I've been able to do this
for over 20 years is like I'vebeen consistently me.
(14:46):
Like you can talk to my buddiesfrom high school, from grade
school.
I still keep in touch with them.
They'll tell you I'm still thesame kid I was back then, you
know, and I think in a littlebit of a weird way, in the
television world and likeentertainment.
Maybe that's refreshing a littlebit, like like my buddies would
(15:07):
never let it go to my headanyway you know, but I think
it's a little bit of an Eastcoast mentality where you know,
like you're never going to gettoo big, like your boys will
just put you right back in line.
So, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Wait, going back to you were saying that to have the
sense of self.
And then you were your life ormotto of just like, if you could
do something about it, do it,and if not, in my life now I'm
going through a loss of my dogand there's nothing I can do
about that.
And so I was talking to afriend of mine earlier.
Just, you know I'm I've gonethrough a lot of stuff in my
(15:47):
life, a lot, and I just, youknow, get up and get out of bed
and just keep going.
And this is, I think, the firsttime actually I know it's the
first time in my entire lifethat I feel this like
debilitating, like horribleheaviness.
And so what do you say when, ifanybody's listening to this and
(16:08):
they are going through somesort of transition, whether it's
a loss of a pet or a divorce orof a job, of just not being
able to get out of the rut, like, how do you deal with that in
your own life?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You want me to be Dr Phil.
I'm Dr Rob.
You want me to put my Dr Robhat on the psychology hat.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Because you have to, you've, you've, you know how to
deal with things like right.
Isn't that what?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
that's why you've won at all these games.
I think, like you know, it comesback to.
You have to try to put yourselfin the other person's position.
You have to try to see itthrough their eyes.
So of course it's superemotional.
Like that emotion is the reasonwhy you're feeling the feelings
that you're feeling Anyone thatloses a pet or a loved one,
(16:53):
anything At the same time.
Like if you take the emotionout of it which is hard to do
because you're in it, right.
But if you take the emotion outof it, everybody dies, right.
All pets are going to dieeventually, like that's just a
part of life.
That's who we are Like.
At some point the end comesfrom everyone.
So when I say try to see itthrough the other person's point
(17:17):
of view, I'm not even sayingthrough your eyes, I'm saying
through your dog's eyes.
It's not about you.
You have to honor your dog andthat you know.
Like, without a doubt, eventhough it's painful for you, you
don't want her to suffer, right?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But what if somebody is listening to this and they're
going through a big transitionof loss, even if it's a
relationship or a job orwhatever?
How have you dealt with loss inyour life?
Because you've not always wonSurvivor.
You've not always won everypoker game that you've won, of
course.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I lose a lot more than I win, but I I just I feel
like something better is coming.
I don't know, I know that's notthe really the answer, but like
, like, it's like I'm able toseparate right, like and I think
that's a hard thing, but theemotional part of it right.
(18:18):
A lot of people fold underpressure because the emotion,
the stress, the pressure is toomuch.
I have found that I like thatsituation.
When the pressure's on, I feellike that's when I do my best.
Like when the pressure's on, Ifeel like that's when I do my
best.
So, as far as like loss goes, Imean I'm realistic about the
(18:43):
prospect.
When I go into these games, youknow if there's 20 people in
the game, you have a 5% chanceof winning.
That means 95% of the timeyou're not going to win.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm super optimistic and I feellike my odds are even better
and I go in to play these gamesand I'm going to give everything
(19:04):
I have to win and I believe I'mgoing to win and that's what I
want to do If it doesn't happen.
I mean, you know I don't makemy whole identity everything
about me about one game, onething.
I'll give you an example, andthis is.
This is super personal and veryfresh, but but I'll give you a
real life example.
(19:24):
Uh, yesterday my daughter hadher first golf match, you know,
and it was her first timecompeting against other kids in
another school and she didn't dogreat.
I mean, they were great, shedid great throughout, you know,
(19:45):
the match.
She hit some good shots andeverything, but she didn't score
great.
And then after, you know, shewas really emotional about it
and I was like man, I was like Ineed to, you know, do the right
thing here and like teach her,you know, and I didn't want to
like give her like hard love,like you know, because at this
stage, what's that going to do?
(20:06):
It's just going to discourageher.
Golf is a really hard game.
I'm 48 years old and I'm stillnot a professional.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm still not aprofessional, you know what I
mean.
Like I'm I'm not even any goodreally, but um, but I was just.
Like you know, lucia, like youknow, it's your first match.
It's one time you've gonethrough this.
(20:26):
You're gonna lose a lot,there's gonna be a lot of losses
, but it's not like you know howyou if you win or lose, but how
you handle it right it's soweird.
I got another thing right here.
I'm just.
It's staring at me in my faceand I swear to god this is not
planned, but this is right here.
(20:46):
This is real life, like it'sstuck here can you see that?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
can you read that?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
no, there's a champion is not someone who wins
all the?
Time.
A champion is someone who giveseverything they've got to win.
Yep, and it's like you know so,throughout life you're going to
have losses and that's a partof life, but like persistence
(21:14):
and getting up and keeping goingis like what's important.
And, uh, then I took her outfor ice cream and we're good
today, because there'll beanother match next week and
we're gonna practice again.
So I mean like, uh, it'semotional and I think that's
what emotions like.
You have to try to get emotionout of stuff.
(21:35):
You see it in business all thetime.
You know negotiating.
If you let the emotion and I'mguilty of it too, sometimes you
know I feel a certain way aboutsomething and then once you
realize that's not your brain,that's not logic talking, that's
your emotion that's where youultimately end up having
(21:56):
problems if you let youremotions dictate your actions.
It's hard, especially a gamelike survivor, where you know at
its core it's a relationshipgame right so, again, for the
people that don't know, itstarts with a certain amount of
people as the the people arevoted off.
As you vote the people off, atsome point they make up a jury,
(22:20):
and when there's only two orthree people left, those people
that you voted off come back todecide which one is going to be
the winner.
So at that point it's out ofyour hands.
So you have to realize that,like even when you're slitting
their throats and doing what youhave to do to advance in the
game, how you make them feel isgoing to dictate how they vote.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Sometimes they vote for the person they like the
most and the person they want towin.
Other times they spitefullyvote against that person.
That made them feel bad.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Right, right Right.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So it'll come back to bite you in the ass.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So you, you know you, I, I watch you on set and you
do read people and you do alwaysthink that you're right.
But I know that you're notbecause you think that you're
right with me.
That's your emotion talkingright now no, no, no, that's
actually just luck, but I amactually.
But when is?
Obviously you haven't beenright about everything.
What's?
Have there been times in thesegames, or even in poker, where
(23:26):
you really felt the intuitionthat you were right, but you
weren't?
Or do you like?
Does that also like?
Do you second guess yourself alot, because you're not always
hitting?
You know a home run.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
No, I mean it's ridiculous, but like I, I feel.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Because you have a sense of humor about it.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
No, now like I feel confident in like what I believe
, like I do, and I think likethat goes back to knowing who
you are.
I know who I am.
Can I learn things somethingnew?
Yeah, I can learn new things,even at my age, but like I like
fundamentally who I am now, likeI feel confident, you know, and
(24:14):
when I feel it I say it and alot of it is off the cuff Right,
because I think, like you know,if anything earlier when I was
younger, I would do things youknow and feel like sometimes you
feel something right and youact on it and sometimes you're
(24:37):
wrong about that.
So I think with age, like I'velearned to not be so matter of
fact, even though I know thatkind of goes directly against
what you just said.
But, like some things, I justknow it and I feel it and I feel
like I am confident about it.
For that reason um, I don'tknow, it's a tricky question
(25:03):
because, depending on thesituation, I might have a
different answer, because I canthink of times in poker where
I've been.
Poker is not a science, it is,it's math-based, but there's
also that intuition, that goesalong with it.
(25:28):
Intuition, right, that goesalong with it.
And you know, theoretically youshould err on the side of the
math almost always.
You should like embrace themath, because the math doesn't
lie.
The math may be, you may belucky or unlucky, but it doesn't
lie.
But every once in a while youkind of go against it because
you have a feeling aboutsomething.
And I do think there issomething you know beyond like
(25:55):
just physics and statistics andmath.
That is this you know,unquantifiable sense that you
get from a situation where youact a certain way and like you
say a mother's intuition or likeat the poker table, they call
(26:15):
it a soul read, like I read hissoul, I knew he was bluffing, uh
, in survivor, like like a lotof times though, like you can go
back and you can see there weresigns, but they may have been
subconscious that you didn't see.
But I do think there'ssomething to like.
I don't want you to get all tooexcited because I know you're
(26:35):
into crystals and energy andMiss Leo and all of that stuff,
but like there is something toit.
But I wouldn't base my wholelife on that.
You know, I wouldn't base mywhole life on that.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You know you wouldn't base your whole life on your
intuition.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
No, well, no, I wouldn't, because I feel like
intuition combined with likethese other things.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's the thing.
It's like paying attention,like you call it intuition, but
like you pay attention.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
This person did this over and over and over again
they're probably gonna do itagain.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You know they have a history of doing it no, he
promised me he was gonna change.
Yeah, yeah yeah, I feel likewe've had this conversation
before this time he meant ithold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I may have recorded it somewhere too no, you're
right, it's because asespecially for me as a woman
like we do have strong intuition, but it's there's also times
that it's not necessarilyintuition and it's fear, and you
have to just be able todecipher what, what was really
talking to you, and and use yourknowledge base and your gut.
(27:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
But you know interesting that you bring up
fear, because fear is an emotionwhere, depending on the
situation in real life probablynot, but in these games you can
really use it to your advantage.
You can use it against otherpeople.
You can identify their fears,because the truth is right.
(28:09):
If you want to manipulate asituation, all you have to do is
understand what motivates theother person and prey on that.
Some people are motivated byfear.
Some people are motivated byfear, they're afraid.
So if you lean into that, thenyou can dictate their actions,
(28:31):
which is pretty ridiculous.
I mean, that's like a tacticthat you could use in a game
like Survivor or on Traders orsomething like that.
But in real life it would.
In business, it would be seen asunethical, even though it
happens all the time with, likecorporate takeover right, you
see it where.
(28:51):
Or real estate deals, or, youknow, like people fearing, like
they're going to lose, somethinglike the fear of loss is so
much more powerful than you know.
The opportunity of gain, yeah,right, like if, you, if, if, if
I offered you, you know, oranybody, your entire net worth
(29:16):
over the over a seventy five,twenty five flip of a coin that
was weighted three quarters inyour favor.
So three out of four timesyou're going to win that bet and
you'll double your net worth,but one out of four times,
potentially you lose everything.
A lot of people would say, noway, I'm never going for that.
(29:37):
The math says you should alwaysgo for it.
It's skewed in your favor in abig way, but the prospect of
loss is so powerful that youwould lose everything and have
to start over.
It's paralyzing to some peopleand I think when you talk about
risk versus reward and makingdecisions and how you act, a lot
(30:02):
of the people that are able tounderstand that risk and manage
it and embrace it ultimatelyalways end up going further,
right?
So in that example you can usein all aspects of life.
But, like everything is how youfeel and whether or not how you
(30:26):
manage your own risk factor, inwhatever it is.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, and in that, in the risks that you take.
I mean you have a family, youhave four girls.
It's a little bit more of aresponsibility when you're when
you do have a family to providefor.
How do you manage those fears,knowing that there are so many
people that rely on you?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Yeah, so it's calculated now, right.
So like I'm not 25 years oldand risking everything on the
flip of a coin, even if it isweighted three quarter 25, right
.
But I think understanding therisk and being balanced in your
approach, right, like so, youdon't want to be too safe all
(31:10):
the time.
If you're always take the safepath, the super conservative
path all the time, you're nevergoing to get anywhere than where
you're going.
As a matter of fact, you couldlose, you know, in the long run.
From a financial point of view,if you keep your money in the
bank and the interest you'reearning in the bank doesn't
outpace inflation, your money isworth less year after year
(31:33):
after year and eventually you'regoing to run out.
But, more importantly thanfinances, the clock is ticking
for everyone, right, and I knowyou're going through it with
your dog right now, but everyone of us has an internal clock.
We're only here for a certainamount of time, so how you
choose to spend your time is upto you, and that balance factor
(31:59):
is really.
You know, everybody has toweigh that equally differently
for themselves.
The biggest thing I've learnednow at my stage of life is
there's no destination.
We're not getting to beanywhere where we're going to
watch it on a beach and that'sit.
Like this is it?
The journey is the destination.
(32:21):
So a little bit the my phonerings like you want to go do
this.
If I want to go do it, I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
You know, at the same timewe've got to balance family
because you've got to make surethey're good, make sure you know
they're accounted for andthey're getting their cup full.
You can't just focus all yourenergy on getting to a place,
(32:50):
because then your time will runout.
The other thing my dad alwaystold me, which I thought was
important, was that if your cupis not full, you can't give to
anyone else.
Yes, that's true, so make sureyou take care of yourself too,
and sometimes I'm guilty ofrunning here and there and doing
everything and I forget to dothat and I get burnt out.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
But yeah, Any other life lessons you need to know
Well so when you walk intospeaking of calculations, like
when you walk into a room do youlike scan people for their body
language?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
For the record, we we gotta take a little break here
and I gotta let the people knowthis is like the nicest you've
been to me for the longestperiod of time at one time
without losing it.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Usually something happens, so let's just lock it
down, okay right, this is likewe've gone 33 minutes of me not
calling you a bad name or makingfun of you.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
So this is not normal , guys.
This is her television persona.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Do you want to be on the show every week, just so
that you can get my nice, thenice Sabrina?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That's the show that would pop off.
We get the real Sabrina.
Nobody needs to see that.
Nobody needs to.
Real Sabrina Nobody needs tosee that.
Nobody needs to see that.
Nobody needs to see that.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
But when you walk into a room, do you scan people?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
I don't know.
I just kind of feel like I'maware, I'm aware, I've just been
perceptive of what's going onand I'm not trying to size
anybody up or anything like that.
But, um, you know, simple, likelessons that I've learned
(34:34):
throughout my life, that likejust come natural.
Now that I don't I'm not tryingto analyze everybody in a
certain situation.
I mean, let me preface it bysaying if we're playing a game
like Survivor or Trade or theDeal or no Deal Island, then I'm
absolutely paying attention toeverything, even little micro
(34:54):
movements and sayings, in everylittle detail, and I pick up on
on it.
And that's because ofexperience I have.
But in a normal, everydaysetting, if you're asking me if
I analyze you on a secretcelebrity renovation, absolutely
I do.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, but you, you're not always right.
You're not always right, andI've told you that just when we
were shooting last week.
You were wrong about somethingand but you're always adamant
that you think you know it all.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
But that's the next episode.
Twice in the last 20 years isokay, right um, I can't wait to
see you on traders.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I can't wait to see you on traders it's going to be
my appointment television that Ihaven't had in years, so I I'm
looking forward to that, becauseolivia and I loved watching you
on Deal or no Deal.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah, deal or no Deal Island was fun.
It was a different format.
It was once I understood.
You know the game and I pickedit up pretty quickly.
It became a lot of fun and it'sa fun show Until you cheated.
Traders is different in a lotof different ways, but it's
(36:07):
always.
You know, it's hard now for meto go play these shows because I
have such a reputation andpeople know me and everything,
but at the same time I love thechallenge of it.
So it's going to be fun towatch.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
I'll tell you that I can't wait For everyone who's
listening.
I'll put all of Rob'sinformation on the bottom.
Don't even bother dming him, hedoesn't even read him.
So just, it's gonna be a wasteof time.
I'll argue with you when you'reout.
Well, thank you, rob, for beingon the show.
I hope you're over.
It's over, see, I told you itwas gonna be painless I know how
(36:41):
nice I was you.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Finally, let me come on.
Okay, I've been asking youforever.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Wait, don't hang up.
What do you mean?
Don't hang up?
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