June 14, 2025 • 38 mins
What happens when you decide to have a baby at 50? Frances Largeman-Roth, New York Times bestselling author and registered dietitian, joins Sabrina Soto to share her remarkable journey of welcoming her fourth child using donor eggs after experiencing three devastating miscarriages in her mid-40s.
Frances reveals how she navigated the emotional and physical challenges of pregnancy at 50, drawing on her professional expertise in nutrition to maintain optimal health throughout. She candidly discusses how the journey wasn't without complications, but how her accumulated life wisdom helped her handle this news with unexpected calm and resilience.
Ready to question your assumptions about what's possible at any age? Listen now and discover how Frances redesigned her life on her own terms – and how you might do the same.
Connect with Frances:
https://www.franceslargemanroth.com/
Frances on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/franceslrothrd/#
Connect with Sabrina:
https://www.instagram.com/Sabrina_Soto/
www.SabrinaSoto.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Frances, thank you for joiningme on Redesigning Life.
(00:26):
I am so excited for thisconversation.
We have so many friends incommon.
Frances is a New York Timesbestselling author so fancy.
You're also a registereddietitian, nutritionist, and you
just had your fourth child at50.
Nutritionist, and you just hadyour fourth child at 50.
So I have that's true.
Yeah, this is all true and Ihave so many questions for you
(00:50):
and so many things to discuss,but I just wanted to first
welcome you to Redesigning Lifeand thank you for your time
today.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh, thanks, Sabrina.
It is really a thrill to behere and a thrill to just chat
with you in person a thrill tobe here and a thrill to just
chat with you in person.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I obviously have to start with.
The largest thing that Icouldn't believe is that you
decided to have your fourthchild at the age of 50, which
bravo to you.
I was considered a geriatricmother because I had Olivia at
38 years old, which everyonethought was old, and you decided
to have your fourth at 50.
So first question is what madeyou decide to go that route?
(01:33):
Because I think a lot of people, when they get to be our age,
think you know, I'm done withthe strollers and the car seats
and all of those things, and youwere like, no, I'm going to
start all over again.
So tell me about that journey.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh yeah, I mean, you talk about redesigning your life
.
I decided to just blow up mylife and just, yeah, bring the
chaos back in again.
So I had my first child at 35.
And then I had another at 38,like you.
And then I had another baby at40 and I was thinking, oh, okay,
like I could just keep going,but decided we were living in
(02:09):
Brooklyn at the time and youknow, space is a huge constraint
, cost is a huge constraint.
We were good, you know, thatwas it.
But then, at about 42, I reallythought you know what, I would
love to have another baby.
But then it was not possibleand I ended up having three
(02:30):
miscarriages.
And you know, I know it's supercommon, I know that a lot of
women go through it, but Ihadn't experienced it and I
hadn't really been close withsomebody who had, or at least
who had talked about it openlywith me, and I found the whole
thing to be just devastating butdidn't really want to show that
(02:54):
sadness.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Why is that?
I think a lot of peoplelistening probably may have
either experienced thatthemselves, or maybe know
someone who has I have,unfortunately, experienced that
themselves or maybe know someonewho has I have, unfortunately.
So why is there this secret orthis fear of sharing such a huge
experience that I think a lotof women go through?
What was it for you?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I think at the time it was so painful I mean I
couldn't even get on the phoneand tell my sister.
I just didn't want to be sortof endlessly breaking down about
it, which probably was not theright way to go.
You know, I probably shouldhave shared it at the moment,
but it was so hugely painful.
I felt also responsible.
(03:39):
Not the first time, you knowthat.
Just I was shocked the firsttime it happened because I had
never had one before.
I'd had an easy time gettingpregnant and no issues.
But by the third time I startedto feel like why are you doing
this to yourself, why are youputting yourself in this
position?
And really a lot of blame.
So I kind of quashed the ideaof having a fourth child and
(04:07):
thought you know what, it's justout of reach.
I'm just too old at this point.
I was 44 when that lastmiscarriage happened and I
thought, frances, you've got tofocus on the kids you have and
you know doing a great job forthem and you know you're very
blessed, so why don't you justenjoy that?
And then the pandemic happenedand I thought, you know what?
(04:30):
This is really probably a goodthing that you didn't have a
fourth child.
Look at all these people withall they're having to do just to
have a baby safely in thehospital.
But then I'm telling you onceyou have that I think this might
be true for all women once youhave that desire to have a baby,
there really is no gettingaround it.
(04:52):
You can do other things.
You can get a puppy that canhelp a little bit.
We did get a dog Turns out he'smy husband's dog, not really so
much my dog out, he's myhusband's dog, not really so
much my dog.
So that feeling was still there, but honestly I did not think
it was within reach, sabrina,because I didn't see how it was
possible.
(05:12):
And then I read a story in theNew Yorker about this writer who
found his wife late in life.
They got married and at 50,they were having a baby using an
egg donor a donor egg.
And I really didn't know aboutthis.
I mean, I knew that people diddonate their eggs, but I just
(05:33):
didn't, really I don't know.
I didn't connect the dots forme.
And so then I found, you know,a fertility specialist still and
went into that appointmentstill feeling like I don't know
that this is for me.
I don't know what she'll say.
She might say the door hasalready closed, but I just want
(05:53):
to know.
I want to know if it's still apossibility.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And at that point were you thinking, did you even
think about getting a surrogate,or you?
I mean, everything was sort ofnew to you, because these are
like new possibilities.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Right, yeah, okay.
So I didn't really considergetting a surrogate because I
felt like that cost was going tobe out of our reach, and I also
didn't think about or I hadruled out adoption even though
my husband's because I know thatI have a lot of anxiety already
, and knowing that you might geta call at some point about a
(06:31):
baby someday, and you don't knowwhen that might be that didn't
feel like the right thing for meto do.
So I wanted to know if my bodywas healthy enough to carry a
baby, and it turned out.
When we had that appointment,the doctor said yeah, you're in
great health.
The womb your uterus canactually work for a really long
(06:55):
time.
It's just the eggs it comesdown to.
You know, when you get to be inyour early 40s for some women
it's even earlier than that theegg quality just drops, so much
so that even if they go in andharvest your eggs, there's
really nothing viable to workwith.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
But before you did the egg donor, did you try to do
IVF?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
No, we had not, because after those three
miscarriages they don't usuallyreally find out what happened.
The assumption is that the eggquality is not good and that is
why that embryo did not growpast eight weeks or seven weeks,
(07:38):
and how was carrying at thatage?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I mean, I feel like you went through a lot of steps
to create this for yourself andfor your family, so it's not
something that just happenedovernight.
You had to like, really plan.
So how was?
Did you second guess yourselfduring this time?
Because it is.
It's a huge undertaking.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
All the time I second guess myself all the time.
But I really went through thiskind of mental process of like
can you see the end result?
If you can see the end resultand if that end result makes you
light up and makes you happy,then this is all going to be
worth it.
All the medications, all theshots in the butt, all the
(08:31):
doctor's appointments, all thewondering and waiting and
worrying and all of that.
If that you know that mind'seye, you know destination makes
you thrilled, then this is goingto be worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And so how was it for you?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
going to be worth it.
And so how was it for you?
It was mostly great.
I was able to exercise thewhole time throughout my
pregnancy.
I felt pretty darn good.
I did have some crazy, crazyleg cramps that happened to me,
which didn't happen in my otherpregnancies.
You do have to take babyaspirin and you do have to
monitor your blood pressure ifyou are my age, if you were my
(09:11):
age or you know late 40s, early50s but I felt pretty confident,
I think, especially as adietitian, and I have written a
book on pregnancy nutrition.
So I felt like I was doingeverything in my power that I
could to have a healthypregnancy.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I mean, yeah, right, so your whole career has been.
The foundation is what you eatreally affects your health.
So what did you noticedifferently in the way that
being pregnant at 50 as opposedto being pregnant in your 30s-
Well, certainly.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I mean, I'm lucky that I can work for myself now
and work from home, as opposedto, you know, my first two
pregnancies Manhattan work longhours, not always eat
appropriately, when I wassupposed to shoveling food at my
(10:10):
desk, that kind of thing.
So I took much better care ofmyself.
I was really really just kindof textbook eating, what I was
supposed to, making sure I wasgetting tons of protein and
fruits and vegetables, lots ofantioxidant-rich foods,
(10:31):
hydration.
I was able to super focus onand also rest.
And the other thing that helpedwas that I didn't have a
toddler that I had to take careof like I did those other times
when I was younger.
So I could, you know, if Ineeded to shut it down at nine
o'clock at night and say, nightguys.
I could do that.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
How?
What has the feedback been foryou?
I'm sure it's been all acrossthe board.
What have you noticed?
The you know the reaction'sbeen from not only your family,
but from followers and in thepublic.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So, sabrina, I was really nervous to tell people.
I thought that I might get somevery, very negative feedback
You're too old, why are youdoing this?
Don't you know kind of whatposition you're putting yourself
and this child in in terms ofyou know what if you, what if
you kick the bucket at 60?
(11:29):
But I didn't get any of thatand I'm sure people may have had
thoughts along those lines, butI really got a lot of good for
you.
Wow, I would love to do that,or I would have loved to have
done that if I had known that Icould do that.
Even my high-risk OBGYN shetold me.
(11:52):
She said really good for youbecause she had had three kids
and wanted more.
And then life got in the wayand she didn't do it.
So I felt very supported by her, by my family, by my friends.
You know I did get a lot of wow.
That wouldn't be the choicethat I would make, but I'm happy
for you.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Right, which is, by the way, fine.
I mean, it's totally fine.
I think there's a millionchoices that my friends make
that I wouldn't necessarily make, but I don't, you know, it's
neither good nor bad, it's justa different choice, but I do I
can.
The reason why I asked thatquestion is because I did have a
friend who had a baby later inlife and I remember a lot of
(12:36):
negative feedback of beingcalled selfish and things like
that, and I couldn't.
I couldn't believe what she wasgoing through because she
wasn't asking anyone for help.
It wasn't like she was askingthese people can you help me
with my baby?
But I think a lot of people andit's not just about having kids
(12:58):
when you're older, whatever thecase may be, people love to
have an opinion.
So I was just curious, but Ilove to hear that everyone in
your community was supportive.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Absolutely.
And you know I would saylocally.
You know my neighbors had ashower for me and uh, they, you
know they were all like, hey,you know we'll go, we'll go on
walks with you.
This baby will be the communitybaby and you know we're here to
support you and help take careof you.
So I feel really lucky because,honestly, I was expecting to
hear some negative comments and,who knows, maybe it's going on
(13:31):
and it's just you know, not, notyour problem, and I'm not
thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yeah, I am not thinking about it at all, yeah,
I um, when Nate and I gotengaged, a lot of people were
asking about children and ifhe's six years younger than I am
.
So people were asking are youguys going to have kids?
And I, I mean, I love my lifewith Olivia, but I just always
(13:57):
even said I'm too old.
And now I realize that's nottrue and I shouldn't even say
you know, react or even answerquestions about that saying the
same thing, because it does sortof put us as women in a box and
I think a lot of we're capableof a lot more than we give
ourselves credit for, andobviously you have proven that.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Well, you're so right and I think I had gotten to a
point before I pursued having ababy with a donor egg where I
was angry.
I was angry about Robert DeNiro, I was angry about how
George Clooney, how all of thesemen, not just the famous men,
but in real life too, lots ofolder men into their 70s, 80s,
(14:41):
are able to have babies and noone really says a thing.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Nope, they don't say a thing.
They don't.
I mean, if a man at 50, that'spretty normal these days that's
no one blinks, you're absolutelyright.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
If a man had a baby at 50, no one, no one would say
one like, one comment.
Yet a woman, and it's all of asudden a million negative
comments or judgments, or fillin the blank, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And you know what I did.
I was a little obsessed for awhile with, you know, actresses
and other celebrities who hadhad, who had become moms later
in life, whether that wasthrough IVF or adoption or
surrogates and I thought, youknow what?
There's really no reason.
There's really no reason.
(15:30):
You are your own limitation,right.
If you think you can't dosomething, then you can't.
But honestly, that sort ofopened my eyes.
Well, yeah, I mean, I chose tophysically carry a baby at 50,
but for other people, maybe theywould decide to adopt.
(15:50):
I just think that we shouldreally reconsider our options as
we age, because aging is verydifferent now and you can start
a whole new career, you could goback to school, you could get
married, you could do whateveryou want to do.
I think we should really openup the possibilities instead of
closing them off.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people who are
listening right now maybe theyare in their 40s, maybe early
50s, who want to maybe notnecessarily have a child, but
maybe want to reinventthemselves in some way, whether
it's a new career, like you justmentioned, or a new
relationship or moving and Ithink that it becomes scary at
(16:33):
our age because we are dealingwith so much hormonal issues and
second guessing and justphysical changes.
So I love that you haveinspired people to not limit
themselves in any way and Ithink that's really brave of you
.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Thank you, I really appreciate that.
And that didn't come overnight.
That took a lot of soulsearching and a lot of
conversations with my husband,who was extremely supportive of
this and I mean he would havebeen fine with another dachshund
, uh, but um, you know, he, hewas supportive of the choice and
(17:17):
you know, I think we're, we'rewe're both just thrilled that we
were able to welcome Romy intoour lives back in December.
And you know, that was also not, that was not smooth, and I
mean it was smooth, smooth,smooth until the very end.
Sabrina and I remember you know,texting or sending Shab an
(17:37):
email and saying you know, Ijust found out that our baby is
going to have to have surgery assoon as she's born.
Our baby is going to have tohave surgery as soon as she's
born.
I was told by our OBGYN at 34weeks that the baby had a
congenital diaphragmatic hernia,which meant that there was a
hole in the diaphragm that wasgoing to need to be surgically
(18:01):
fixed.
Wow, that's scary.
Be surgically fixed?
Wow, that's scary.
It was scary, it was scary.
And then, yes, I did do a lotof second guessing then, but it
was completely.
You know, it was a random thing, it wasn't because I did IVF,
it wasn't because I used a donor, it wasn't because of my age,
it was just.
(18:22):
You know, these things happenand she is, knock wood, a very
healthy baby now and the surgerywas super successful, and all
of that.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Isn't it so sad that when something happens during
pregnancy or after giving birth,and if there's any
complications, that we blameourselves?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Oh, yeah, always, yeah, absolutely, and I think
that experience.
Had that happened to me earlierin life, when I was younger, I
think I would have reallyfreaked out a lot more and I was
just able to, once I had allthe information and understood
(19:05):
what we were going to be dealingwith, I was able to really kind
of handle it in a very, verycalm way.
And, of course, you know, wewent to Columbia and they had an
amazing surgeon and we did allthe things.
But I think that you do gain alot of wisdom and you've already
you know, hopefully by 50,you've already learned some
(19:27):
coping mechanisms, healthycoping mechanisms to deal with
the stuff in life that we needto deal with, and have built up
some resilience.
So I think that that's justanother huge thing, another
lesson learned.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I was going to ask you about that because I can
imagine that, being a mother inthis decade, you're just a lot
more calm.
Yeah, would you say, that'strue.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah, you need to be, and also I have teenagers now,
so how are they?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, how?
How do they like, do they lovehaving a baby in the house?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
They do now.
They do now.
They were not so sure about it.
Uh, the 10 year old was alsonot so sure about it.
My 13 year old son kept sayingwe too old and now he is so
smitten with his little sister.
So I think you know it was.
Yeah, if you have other kidsalready, you're not just signing
yourself up for this, you'resigning up the whole family to
(20:28):
welcome a new child and they'regoing to have opinions.
You know it's not like whenthey're two and they don't
really know what's going on inthe world.
They definitely had opinions.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Okay.
So let me shift gears a littlebit.
Because you're in your 50s, Ialready have my hands full
dealing with my career, anine-year-old in soccer, and my
perimenopause symptoms.
So I honestly, frances, couldnot imagine having a baby in the
house because I feel like I'mjust so many changes are
(21:01):
happening in my body.
So how, given that you, this isyour nutrition, is your base,
how have you um helped tomitigate symptoms of your body
changing with the foods andnutrition and supplements?
What do you recommend?
Because I feel like I'mfollowing so many different
(21:25):
accounts on social media thatI'm so exhausted by protein.
No protein, fiber.
Forget about protein.
You only care about fiber, dedehydration, vitamin D you
should take wild yam, takeprogesterone Like I'm, like
exhausted.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So I mean there's a whole industry.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yes, but can you help just simplify what women should
be doing?
I was on the phone with mysister this morning and she was
talking about inflammation and Ijust feel like there's so much
information yet not enough helpout there.
So can you help to simplify allof the noise out there when it
comes to perimenopause andmenopause symptoms?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yes, absolutely so.
Yes, before I got pregnant withRomy, I was also experiencing
perimenopause, and rage was mynumber one symptom.
It was really, really awful andyou know the lack of sleep and
(22:25):
just you know all the.
There's like, I think, 50symptoms at least of
perimenopause and obviously wedon't all experience all of
those.
But there are so many things,from changes in skin to changes
in, you know, sexual health andeverything right, and luckily
we're not experiencing all ofthose at the same time.
(22:48):
What I did find was very helpfulwas ashwagandha, which is an
adaptogenic herb.
That really did help with myrage, and I know that it's not
for everyone, but I found I usedit.
I had it a liquid form and Iwould just add a couple of drops
to water every day and thatreally really did help with mood
(23:11):
.
You have to prioritize sleep.
There's just no way that youcan do what you did in your 20s
or your 30s and just sort of tryto get by with extra caffeine
or extra snacks or extrachocolate.
It just does not work, and partof prioritizing sleep means
also cutting caffeine off byearly afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I have ashwagandha in my coffee now as I'm talking to
you.
Well, there you go.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Okay, so you're already.
Yeah, so for me my cutoff istwo o'clock.
I cannot have caffeine afterthat.
Also alcohol, oh my gosh.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, I it's.
It's like rest in peace wine,because I used to love to drink.
I mean, I I've used some.
Unfortunately, I've usedalcohol sometimes to
self-medicate in my life.
But even just outside of, likethe stress of just having a
glass of wine that I love, aglass of red wine, I can't.
(24:15):
It's impossible to enjoyanymore.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah, I, I totally hear you and I just, yeah,
you're sad about it for a while,Um, but then you know I
realized, hey, athletic brewingmakes a really good IPA that
tastes like the real thing sogood.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Golden ale is so delicious in the yellow pan.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, yeah, it's so good and for some people maybe
they drink a kombucha instead ormaybe they have a spin drift or
they have something that feelscelebratory and fun at the end
of the day, and it's also notabsolute.
I mean, I went on a press tripthis week and I had a glass of
wine.
I had one glass, kind of on thesmaller side, and I found that
(25:00):
it didn't disrupt my sleep, butthat's really kind of it's going
to be very few and far between.
Maybe in a wedding I'll havesome champagne, and it's just
how it has to be, because Ireally feel like you have to put
in a lot of self-care andreally kind of regiment yourself
(25:21):
, which sounds really not fun,but it's so helpful.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It is because I feel like, of course you go to a
wedding or whatever.
If I do have a glass, I justknow that my sleep is not going
to be as restful as, obviously,when I don't, and sometimes I'm
just like it's not even worth it.
I love sleep.
I mean, I love sleep more thanprobably the average person, and
(25:46):
I just have to make choices nowthat are different and taking
my supplements and making surethat I get movement in my day,
but I still am getting nightsweats and you know I just have
to.
I feel like everyone has tomake choices to help lessen all
of the symptoms that weunfortunately have to go through
.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think the movement is a huge,
huge part of it.
So, whether you have been anexerciser and you already have a
routine, that's great you mighthave to alter that routine
because maybe you can't run asmuch, because maybe now your
knees are giving you pain, somaybe you have to do less of
(26:27):
that and carve out more time sothat you can walk instead.
But obviously you might need towalk for 60 minutes instead of
running for 30 minutes to getthe same kind of benefit.
And then that's where theprotein comes into.
I think that we've all gone alittle bit overboard in the
protein conversation.
(26:48):
I think that people are nowstarting to stress out during
their day like, oh my gosh, Ihaven't reached 100 grams out
during their day Like, oh mygosh, I haven't reached 100
grams.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Last night, olivia, she loves to cook, so she made
me sauteed mushrooms and I waseating it on rice and I'm
enjoying the meal and I'm like Ihave to eat protein.
There's no protein on this.
I have to eat all this proteinand it's like this elf on my
shoulder constantly the proteinelf.
So what is the calculation Like?
If somebody weighs 100 pounds,how many grams of protein should
(27:23):
they be eating?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Okay, so I do this by kilogram.
So you take your weight inpounds, you divide it by 2.2 to
get kilograms.
Divide it by 2.2 to getkilograms.
So in a range of 1 to 1.2 gramsof protein per kilogram.
So if a person is 150 pounds,that's going to be between, say,
(27:46):
68 to 80 grams of protein a day.
Now if you are even more so,that'd be sort of actually
(28:19):
converting protein into muscle.
So the other thing is you can'thave it all at once.
You can't sit down to dinnerand have 80 grams of protein and
have it actually do somethingfor you.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
What do you think about?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Again.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Sorry, go ahead.
It just takes some planning.
It takes planning.
What do you think aboutcreatine?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Creatine is excellent .
You know we used to think aboutcreatine as like a bodybuilding
supplement only and you knowthere are several studies that
show that it helps the averageperson build and maintain muscle
.
I personally am not taking itright now because I'm still
breastfeeding, but I do plan toincorporate that and I have a
(29:08):
good friend who's also adietician who has been using it
for a while and sees greatresults.
So there used to also be someissues with people getting sort
of bloated from it.
But I think that they've workedon kind of the quality of the
supplements.
But always when you take anykind of supplement, I don't care
what it is multivitamin,creatine, collagen make sure
(29:31):
that you are using somethingthat is third-party tested.
So that should be right on thebottle.
It should say third-partytested by XYZ.
There are different groups thatdo the testing, but you want to
make sure that you're getting asupplement that's basically you
know doesn't have any heavymetals in it and that you're
(29:52):
actually getting what it says onthe bottle.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Okay, One last question about like a hot topic,
since you're a health expertAll of the noise about seed oils
.
Tell me, is it as bad aseveryone's saying?
Because I've heard that.
You heard that everyone'sblowing it out of proportion.
What is your take on seed oils?
(30:16):
Need to know so number one.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I would say that my oil of choice is always going to
be extra virgin olive oil.
It has the highest level ofantioxidants.
We know because it's been partof the Mediterranean diet for
centuries.
We know that it has benefits.
It's been shown in many studiesto have benefits.
(30:39):
Seed oils I think the concern isoverblown, absolutely.
I don't think it's a problem tohave a packaged cookie or
cracker that includes seed oilsin it.
I would just say that shouldn'tbe the crux of your diet.
Right, that could be a once in awhile thing, right, right, and
(31:03):
many, many packaged foods docontain seed oils.
But again, we're supposed to befocusing more on whole foods
fruits, veggies, proteins, nutsand seeds.
Those are supposed to be in ourdiet and that's like 80%.
So if you're including somesnacks, which I think we all
(31:25):
kind of need to do because weall live very busy lives, we're
on the go, we're using barssometimes because we're dropping
our kid off someplace at eightin the morning and then we need
to go and have anotherappointment so I think there's
no way, unless you live on afarm, to really not eat
processed foods that areprocessed to some degree.
(31:46):
It's just trying to kind ofminimize that and not rely on it
so heavily.
So no, I don't think they're asbad as some influencers would
lead you to believe and alsojust to call out.
You should be getting not justyou, people should be getting
their health information fromreal health professionals,
(32:08):
including registered dietitiansand doctors, and not from
influencers who don'tnecessarily know how to read a
scientific study.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's so true, and I think you know there's so many
quote-unquote experts on socialmedia Instagram, tiktok that
they are so convincing that youjust take their word as like
they're experts and they're not.
They're just, you know, some 20year old spewing whatever the
(32:38):
hell their, you know, whatevertheir take on something is and
it's.
But it's hard because you, youknow, you do hear so much.
So that's why I wanted to askyou, because I feel like maybe
it's just my feed, but it's seedoil, protein, creatine,
weightlifting.
I'm just exhausted.
(32:58):
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah, I do think that you have to kind of tune out,
you have to know what works foryou, and I'm sure that it sounds
like you're doing a lot ofstuff that you feel like is
working for you, like cuttingout the booze and cutting down
on caffeine and getting in thatdaily movement.
So I think it's a lot of peoplereally need to sort of go
(33:22):
within and trust themselves alittle bit more.
You know, certainly look to theexperts, but you get bombarded
and it can get very.
You can feel like you'regetting brainwashed on social
media for sure, a hundredpercent.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I had to take a break from doing everything, but it's
almost now.
I feel like I am tryingeverything and my mom actually
makes fun of me.
She's like how do you even knowwhat's working?
You do everything and I'm likeI know.
So I just started on peptidetherapy.
I'm also taking a crazy amountof supplements.
I'm drinking this skin cherryconcoction and I told her I'm
(34:01):
like I don't even care, I justwant to feel better.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
And I have to tell you that itwas so worth getting pregnant,
not just to have a baby, butalso to escape the
perimenopausal symptoms that Iwas having.
I was like this feels great.
Oh my gosh Love being pregnantFeels great and honestly, I'm
sure I'm still not.
I'm still riding the high ofbreastfeeding at this point.
(34:29):
At some point I will crash andI will be, you know, at the same
level that I was before.
And I don't know, I might, Imight be in menopause when I'm
done breastfeeding.
I don't know where I will be.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
On the second your body's on pause.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, yeah, so I'm getting a little break, but I
think it's.
I'm so happy that that we'rehaving the conversation about
perimenopause and all of thesesymptoms and what to do, and
that it's now.
It's no longer taboo, becausewomen have suffered in relative
silence for such a long time andI mean, look, it's just.
(35:09):
That's ridiculous, because 50%of the population goes through
this and we need to have optionsand we need to have partners
who understand what it is thatwe're going through.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, I was really frustrated.
A few months ago.
I went and got my blood testdone and then I got a Dutch test
done and they basically saidthe complete opposite.
One said my testosterone wasfine.
The other one said it was low.
And I went to a nutritionist, anaturopathic, and he said it's
(35:42):
about your symptoms, becauseyour body fluctuates at all
times.
Yes, it's great to have theselevels, but pay attention to the
symptoms, and that's what Iwant to treat, rather than
what's on this piece of paper.
And I think do you find that tobe true as well?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Absolutely, because they can test your hormone
levels.
But again, they will tell youthat unless they drop beyond a
certain threshold, you know theestrogen really is what they're
looking at.
You know if that goes they have.
You know there are certainranges that tell them okay, now
you are actually, you know,reaching menopause.
(36:17):
But they can fluctuate and youknow, just like somebody could
have, could not get their periodfor six months, but then it
comes back, right, you know.
And then sometimes they'regetting it for like 20 days a
month, right month, and allkinds of different things.
So, yeah, it really is aboutthe symptoms and I think it's
about trying to go back to thesebasic.
(36:40):
I know that people want to tryeverything to see what is going
to work, but your mom is right,you won't know what exactly is
working for you unless you trythings kind of one at a time.
Right For about 30 days Right 30days should give you a sense of
whether something's working foryou.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Thank you so much for your time and congratulations.
I hope I get to see you soon.
I love babies so much.
I hope to see you soon.
So I could I love baby so much.
Um, I hope to see you soon, Ihope.
I mean.
I cannot believe we've knowneach other for so many years and
we've only met virtually.
So I hope to change that in thenext year or so.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yes, that would be amazing, sabrina, and, um yeah,
thank you, I'm so thrilled foryou.
I mean, you have so much goingon with your show and getting
married and Olivia and so manywonderful things.
Thank you and congrats on allof your success.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Thank you so much, and for anyone listening, I will
have Frances' information onher Instagram, her website and
all of her books are on herwebsite.
You can get in touch with herthere as well, and I can attest
that she reads her DMs because Ijust DMed her before.
So if you have questions forher, you could DM her as well.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Awesome.
Thanks so much, sabrina, Ireally appreciate it.
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Frances, thank you for joiningme on Redesigning Life.
(00:26):
I am so excited for thisconversation.
We have so many friends incommon.
Frances is a New York Timesbestselling author so fancy.
You're also a registereddietitian, nutritionist, and you
just had your fourth child at50.
Nutritionist, and you just hadyour fourth child at 50.
So I have that's true.
Yeah, this is all true and Ihave so many questions for you
(00:50):
and so many things to discuss,but I just wanted to first
welcome you to Redesigning Lifeand thank you for your time
today.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh, thanks, Sabrina.
It is really a thrill to behere and a thrill to just chat
with you in person a thrill tobe here and a thrill to just
chat with you in person.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I obviously have to start with.
The largest thing that Icouldn't believe is that you
decided to have your fourthchild at the age of 50, which
bravo to you.
I was considered a geriatricmother because I had Olivia at
38 years old, which everyonethought was old, and you decided
to have your fourth at 50.
So first question is what madeyou decide to go that route?
(01:33):
Because I think a lot of people, when they get to be our age,
think you know, I'm done withthe strollers and the car seats
and all of those things, and youwere like, no, I'm going to
start all over again.
So tell me about that journey.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh yeah, I mean, you talk about redesigning your life
.
I decided to just blow up mylife and just, yeah, bring the
chaos back in again.
So I had my first child at 35.
And then I had another at 38,like you.
And then I had another baby at40 and I was thinking, oh, okay,
like I could just keep going,but decided we were living in
(02:09):
Brooklyn at the time and youknow, space is a huge constraint
, cost is a huge constraint.
We were good, you know, thatwas it.
But then, at about 42, I reallythought you know what, I would
love to have another baby.
But then it was not possibleand I ended up having three
(02:30):
miscarriages.
And you know, I know it's supercommon, I know that a lot of
women go through it, but Ihadn't experienced it and I
hadn't really been close withsomebody who had, or at least
who had talked about it openlywith me, and I found the whole
thing to be just devastating butdidn't really want to show that
(02:54):
sadness.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Why is that?
I think a lot of peoplelistening probably may have
either experienced thatthemselves, or maybe know
someone who has I have,unfortunately, experienced that
themselves or maybe know someonewho has I have, unfortunately.
So why is there this secret orthis fear of sharing such a huge
experience that I think a lotof women go through?
What was it for you?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I think at the time it was so painful I mean I
couldn't even get on the phoneand tell my sister.
I just didn't want to be sortof endlessly breaking down about
it, which probably was not theright way to go.
You know, I probably shouldhave shared it at the moment,
but it was so hugely painful.
I felt also responsible.
(03:39):
Not the first time, you knowthat.
Just I was shocked the firsttime it happened because I had
never had one before.
I'd had an easy time gettingpregnant and no issues.
But by the third time I startedto feel like why are you doing
this to yourself, why are youputting yourself in this
position?
And really a lot of blame.
So I kind of quashed the ideaof having a fourth child and
(04:07):
thought you know what, it's justout of reach.
I'm just too old at this point.
I was 44 when that lastmiscarriage happened and I
thought, frances, you've got tofocus on the kids you have and
you know doing a great job forthem and you know you're very
blessed, so why don't you justenjoy that?
And then the pandemic happenedand I thought, you know what?
(04:30):
This is really probably a goodthing that you didn't have a
fourth child.
Look at all these people withall they're having to do just to
have a baby safely in thehospital.
But then I'm telling you onceyou have that I think this might
be true for all women once youhave that desire to have a baby,
there really is no gettingaround it.
(04:52):
You can do other things.
You can get a puppy that canhelp a little bit.
We did get a dog Turns out he'smy husband's dog, not really so
much my dog out, he's myhusband's dog, not really so
much my dog.
So that feeling was still there, but honestly I did not think
it was within reach, sabrina,because I didn't see how it was
possible.
(05:12):
And then I read a story in theNew Yorker about this writer who
found his wife late in life.
They got married and at 50,they were having a baby using an
egg donor a donor egg.
And I really didn't know aboutthis.
I mean, I knew that people diddonate their eggs, but I just
(05:33):
didn't, really I don't know.
I didn't connect the dots forme.
And so then I found, you know,a fertility specialist still and
went into that appointmentstill feeling like I don't know
that this is for me.
I don't know what she'll say.
She might say the door hasalready closed, but I just want
(05:53):
to know.
I want to know if it's still apossibility.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And at that point were you thinking, did you even
think about getting a surrogate,or you?
I mean, everything was sort ofnew to you, because these are
like new possibilities.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Right, yeah, okay.
So I didn't really considergetting a surrogate because I
felt like that cost was going tobe out of our reach, and I also
didn't think about or I hadruled out adoption even though
my husband's because I know thatI have a lot of anxiety already
, and knowing that you might geta call at some point about a
(06:31):
baby someday, and you don't knowwhen that might be that didn't
feel like the right thing for meto do.
So I wanted to know if my bodywas healthy enough to carry a
baby, and it turned out.
When we had that appointment,the doctor said yeah, you're in
great health.
The womb your uterus canactually work for a really long
(06:55):
time.
It's just the eggs it comesdown to.
You know, when you get to be inyour early 40s for some women
it's even earlier than that theegg quality just drops, so much
so that even if they go in andharvest your eggs, there's
really nothing viable to workwith.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
But before you did the egg donor, did you try to do
IVF?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
No, we had not, because after those three
miscarriages they don't usuallyreally find out what happened.
The assumption is that the eggquality is not good and that is
why that embryo did not growpast eight weeks or seven weeks,
(07:38):
and how was carrying at thatage?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I mean, I feel like you went through a lot of steps
to create this for yourself andfor your family, so it's not
something that just happenedovernight.
You had to like, really plan.
So how was?
Did you second guess yourselfduring this time?
Because it is.
It's a huge undertaking.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
All the time I second guess myself all the time.
But I really went through thiskind of mental process of like
can you see the end result?
If you can see the end resultand if that end result makes you
light up and makes you happy,then this is all going to be
worth it.
All the medications, all theshots in the butt, all the
(08:31):
doctor's appointments, all thewondering and waiting and
worrying and all of that.
If that you know that mind'seye, you know destination makes
you thrilled, then this is goingto be worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And so how was it for you?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
going to be worth it.
And so how was it for you?
It was mostly great.
I was able to exercise thewhole time throughout my
pregnancy.
I felt pretty darn good.
I did have some crazy, crazyleg cramps that happened to me,
which didn't happen in my otherpregnancies.
You do have to take babyaspirin and you do have to
monitor your blood pressure ifyou are my age, if you were my
(09:11):
age or you know late 40s, early50s but I felt pretty confident,
I think, especially as adietitian, and I have written a
book on pregnancy nutrition.
So I felt like I was doingeverything in my power that I
could to have a healthypregnancy.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I mean, yeah, right, so your whole career has been.
The foundation is what you eatreally affects your health.
So what did you noticedifferently in the way that
being pregnant at 50 as opposedto being pregnant in your 30s-
Well, certainly.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I mean, I'm lucky that I can work for myself now
and work from home, as opposedto, you know, my first two
pregnancies Manhattan work longhours, not always eat
appropriately, when I wassupposed to shoveling food at my
(10:10):
desk, that kind of thing.
So I took much better care ofmyself.
I was really really just kindof textbook eating, what I was
supposed to, making sure I wasgetting tons of protein and
fruits and vegetables, lots ofantioxidant-rich foods,
(10:31):
hydration.
I was able to super focus onand also rest.
And the other thing that helpedwas that I didn't have a
toddler that I had to take careof like I did those other times
when I was younger.
So I could, you know, if Ineeded to shut it down at nine
o'clock at night and say, nightguys.
I could do that.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
How?
What has the feedback been foryou?
I'm sure it's been all acrossthe board.
What have you noticed?
The you know the reaction'sbeen from not only your family,
but from followers and in thepublic.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So, sabrina, I was really nervous to tell people.
I thought that I might get somevery, very negative feedback
You're too old, why are youdoing this?
Don't you know kind of whatposition you're putting yourself
and this child in in terms ofyou know what if you, what if
you kick the bucket at 60?
(11:29):
But I didn't get any of thatand I'm sure people may have had
thoughts along those lines, butI really got a lot of good for
you.
Wow, I would love to do that,or I would have loved to have
done that if I had known that Icould do that.
Even my high-risk OBGYN shetold me.
(11:52):
She said really good for youbecause she had had three kids
and wanted more.
And then life got in the wayand she didn't do it.
So I felt very supported by her, by my family, by my friends.
You know I did get a lot of wow.
That wouldn't be the choicethat I would make, but I'm happy
for you.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Right, which is, by the way, fine.
I mean, it's totally fine.
I think there's a millionchoices that my friends make
that I wouldn't necessarily make, but I don't, you know, it's
neither good nor bad, it's justa different choice, but I do I
can.
The reason why I asked thatquestion is because I did have a
friend who had a baby later inlife and I remember a lot of
(12:36):
negative feedback of beingcalled selfish and things like
that, and I couldn't.
I couldn't believe what she wasgoing through because she
wasn't asking anyone for help.
It wasn't like she was askingthese people can you help me
with my baby?
But I think a lot of people andit's not just about having kids
(12:58):
when you're older, whatever thecase may be, people love to
have an opinion.
So I was just curious, but Ilove to hear that everyone in
your community was supportive.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Absolutely.
And you know I would saylocally.
You know my neighbors had ashower for me and uh, they, you
know they were all like, hey,you know we'll go, we'll go on
walks with you.
This baby will be the communitybaby and you know we're here to
support you and help take careof you.
So I feel really lucky because,honestly, I was expecting to
hear some negative comments and,who knows, maybe it's going on
(13:31):
and it's just you know, not, notyour problem, and I'm not
thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yeah, I am not thinking about it at all, yeah,
I um, when Nate and I gotengaged, a lot of people were
asking about children and ifhe's six years younger than I am
.
So people were asking are youguys going to have kids?
And I, I mean, I love my lifewith Olivia, but I just always
(13:57):
even said I'm too old.
And now I realize that's nottrue and I shouldn't even say
you know, react or even answerquestions about that saying the
same thing, because it does sortof put us as women in a box and
I think a lot of we're capableof a lot more than we give
ourselves credit for, andobviously you have proven that.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Well, you're so right and I think I had gotten to a
point before I pursued having ababy with a donor egg where I
was angry.
I was angry about Robert DeNiro, I was angry about how
George Clooney, how all of thesemen, not just the famous men,
but in real life too, lots ofolder men into their 70s, 80s,
(14:41):
are able to have babies and noone really says a thing.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Nope, they don't say a thing.
They don't.
I mean, if a man at 50, that'spretty normal these days that's
no one blinks, you're absolutelyright.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
If a man had a baby at 50, no one, no one would say
one like, one comment.
Yet a woman, and it's all of asudden a million negative
comments or judgments, or fillin the blank, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And you know what I did.
I was a little obsessed for awhile with, you know, actresses
and other celebrities who hadhad, who had become moms later
in life, whether that wasthrough IVF or adoption or
surrogates and I thought, youknow what?
There's really no reason.
There's really no reason.
(15:30):
You are your own limitation,right.
If you think you can't dosomething, then you can't.
But honestly, that sort ofopened my eyes.
Well, yeah, I mean, I chose tophysically carry a baby at 50,
but for other people, maybe theywould decide to adopt.
(15:50):
I just think that we shouldreally reconsider our options as
we age, because aging is verydifferent now and you can start
a whole new career, you could goback to school, you could get
married, you could do whateveryou want to do.
I think we should really openup the possibilities instead of
closing them off.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people who are
listening right now maybe theyare in their 40s, maybe early
50s, who want to maybe notnecessarily have a child, but
maybe want to reinventthemselves in some way, whether
it's a new career, like you justmentioned, or a new
relationship or moving and Ithink that it becomes scary at
(16:33):
our age because we are dealingwith so much hormonal issues and
second guessing and justphysical changes.
So I love that you haveinspired people to not limit
themselves in any way and Ithink that's really brave of you
.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Thank you, I really appreciate that.
And that didn't come overnight.
That took a lot of soulsearching and a lot of
conversations with my husband,who was extremely supportive of
this and I mean he would havebeen fine with another dachshund
, uh, but um, you know, he, hewas supportive of the choice and
(17:17):
you know, I think we're, we'rewe're both just thrilled that we
were able to welcome Romy intoour lives back in December.
And you know, that was also not, that was not smooth, and I
mean it was smooth, smooth,smooth until the very end.
Sabrina and I remember you know,texting or sending Shab an
(17:37):
email and saying you know, Ijust found out that our baby is
going to have to have surgery assoon as she's born.
Our baby is going to have tohave surgery as soon as she's
born.
I was told by our OBGYN at 34weeks that the baby had a
congenital diaphragmatic hernia,which meant that there was a
hole in the diaphragm that wasgoing to need to be surgically
(18:01):
fixed.
Wow, that's scary.
Be surgically fixed?
Wow, that's scary.
It was scary, it was scary.
And then, yes, I did do a lotof second guessing then, but it
was completely.
You know, it was a random thing, it wasn't because I did IVF,
it wasn't because I used a donor, it wasn't because of my age,
it was just.
(18:22):
You know, these things happenand she is, knock wood, a very
healthy baby now and the surgerywas super successful, and all
of that.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Isn't it so sad that when something happens during
pregnancy or after giving birth,and if there's any
complications, that we blameourselves?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Oh, yeah, always, yeah, absolutely, and I think
that experience.
Had that happened to me earlierin life, when I was younger, I
think I would have reallyfreaked out a lot more and I was
just able to, once I had allthe information and understood
(19:05):
what we were going to be dealingwith, I was able to really kind
of handle it in a very, verycalm way.
And, of course, you know, wewent to Columbia and they had an
amazing surgeon and we did allthe things.
But I think that you do gain alot of wisdom and you've already
you know, hopefully by 50,you've already learned some
(19:27):
coping mechanisms, healthycoping mechanisms to deal with
the stuff in life that we needto deal with, and have built up
some resilience.
So I think that that's justanother huge thing, another
lesson learned.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I was going to ask you about that because I can
imagine that, being a mother inthis decade, you're just a lot
more calm.
Yeah, would you say, that'strue.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah, you need to be, and also I have teenagers now,
so how are they?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, how?
How do they like, do they lovehaving a baby in the house?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
They do now.
They do now.
They were not so sure about it.
Uh, the 10 year old was alsonot so sure about it.
My 13 year old son kept sayingwe too old and now he is so
smitten with his little sister.
So I think you know it was.
Yeah, if you have other kidsalready, you're not just signing
yourself up for this, you'resigning up the whole family to
(20:28):
welcome a new child and they'regoing to have opinions.
You know it's not like whenthey're two and they don't
really know what's going on inthe world.
They definitely had opinions.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Okay.
So let me shift gears a littlebit.
Because you're in your 50s, Ialready have my hands full
dealing with my career, anine-year-old in soccer, and my
perimenopause symptoms.
So I honestly, frances, couldnot imagine having a baby in the
house because I feel like I'mjust so many changes are
(21:01):
happening in my body.
So how, given that you, this isyour nutrition, is your base,
how have you um helped tomitigate symptoms of your body
changing with the foods andnutrition and supplements?
What do you recommend?
Because I feel like I'mfollowing so many different
(21:25):
accounts on social media thatI'm so exhausted by protein.
No protein, fiber.
Forget about protein.
You only care about fiber, dedehydration, vitamin D you
should take wild yam, takeprogesterone Like I'm, like
exhausted.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So I mean there's a whole industry.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yes, but can you help just simplify what women should
be doing?
I was on the phone with mysister this morning and she was
talking about inflammation and Ijust feel like there's so much
information yet not enough helpout there.
So can you help to simplify allof the noise out there when it
comes to perimenopause andmenopause symptoms?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yes, absolutely so.
Yes, before I got pregnant withRomy, I was also experiencing
perimenopause, and rage was mynumber one symptom.
It was really, really awful andyou know the lack of sleep and
(22:25):
just you know all the.
There's like, I think, 50symptoms at least of
perimenopause and obviously wedon't all experience all of
those.
But there are so many things,from changes in skin to changes
in, you know, sexual health andeverything right, and luckily
we're not experiencing all ofthose at the same time.
(22:48):
What I did find was very helpfulwas ashwagandha, which is an
adaptogenic herb.
That really did help with myrage, and I know that it's not
for everyone, but I found I usedit.
I had it a liquid form and Iwould just add a couple of drops
to water every day and thatreally really did help with mood
(23:11):
.
You have to prioritize sleep.
There's just no way that youcan do what you did in your 20s
or your 30s and just sort of tryto get by with extra caffeine
or extra snacks or extrachocolate.
It just does not work, and partof prioritizing sleep means
also cutting caffeine off byearly afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I have ashwagandha in my coffee now as I'm talking to
you.
Well, there you go.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Okay, so you're already.
Yeah, so for me my cutoff istwo o'clock.
I cannot have caffeine afterthat.
Also alcohol, oh my gosh.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, I it's.
It's like rest in peace wine,because I used to love to drink.
I mean, I I've used some.
Unfortunately, I've usedalcohol sometimes to
self-medicate in my life.
But even just outside of, likethe stress of just having a
glass of wine that I love, aglass of red wine, I can't.
(24:15):
It's impossible to enjoyanymore.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah, I, I totally hear you and I just, yeah,
you're sad about it for a while,Um, but then you know I
realized, hey, athletic brewingmakes a really good IPA that
tastes like the real thing sogood.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Golden ale is so delicious in the yellow pan.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, yeah, it's so good and for some people maybe
they drink a kombucha instead ormaybe they have a spin drift or
they have something that feelscelebratory and fun at the end
of the day, and it's also notabsolute.
I mean, I went on a press tripthis week and I had a glass of
wine.
I had one glass, kind of on thesmaller side, and I found that
(25:00):
it didn't disrupt my sleep, butthat's really kind of it's going
to be very few and far between.
Maybe in a wedding I'll havesome champagne, and it's just
how it has to be, because Ireally feel like you have to put
in a lot of self-care andreally kind of regiment yourself
(25:21):
, which sounds really not fun,but it's so helpful.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It is because I feel like, of course you go to a
wedding or whatever.
If I do have a glass, I justknow that my sleep is not going
to be as restful as, obviously,when I don't, and sometimes I'm
just like it's not even worth it.
I love sleep.
I mean, I love sleep more thanprobably the average person, and
(25:46):
I just have to make choices nowthat are different and taking
my supplements and making surethat I get movement in my day,
but I still am getting nightsweats and you know I just have
to.
I feel like everyone has tomake choices to help lessen all
of the symptoms that weunfortunately have to go through
.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think the movement is a huge,
huge part of it.
So, whether you have been anexerciser and you already have a
routine, that's great you mighthave to alter that routine
because maybe you can't run asmuch, because maybe now your
knees are giving you pain, somaybe you have to do less of
(26:27):
that and carve out more time sothat you can walk instead.
But obviously you might need towalk for 60 minutes instead of
running for 30 minutes to getthe same kind of benefit.
And then that's where theprotein comes into.
I think that we've all gone alittle bit overboard in the
protein conversation.
(26:48):
I think that people are nowstarting to stress out during
their day like, oh my gosh, Ihaven't reached 100 grams out
during their day Like, oh mygosh, I haven't reached 100
grams.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Last night, olivia, she loves to cook, so she made
me sauteed mushrooms and I waseating it on rice and I'm
enjoying the meal and I'm like Ihave to eat protein.
There's no protein on this.
I have to eat all this proteinand it's like this elf on my
shoulder constantly the proteinelf.
So what is the calculation Like?
If somebody weighs 100 pounds,how many grams of protein should
(27:23):
they be eating?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Okay, so I do this by kilogram.
So you take your weight inpounds, you divide it by 2.2 to
get kilograms.
Divide it by 2.2 to getkilograms.
So in a range of 1 to 1.2 gramsof protein per kilogram.
So if a person is 150 pounds,that's going to be between, say,
(27:46):
68 to 80 grams of protein a day.
Now if you are even more so,that'd be sort of actually
(28:19):
converting protein into muscle.
So the other thing is you can'thave it all at once.
You can't sit down to dinnerand have 80 grams of protein and
have it actually do somethingfor you.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
You have to spread it outthroughout the day.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
What do you think about?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Again.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Sorry, go ahead.
It just takes some planning.
It takes planning.
What do you think aboutcreatine?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Creatine is excellent .
You know we used to think aboutcreatine as like a bodybuilding
supplement only and you knowthere are several studies that
show that it helps the averageperson build and maintain muscle
.
I personally am not taking itright now because I'm still
breastfeeding, but I do plan toincorporate that and I have a
(29:08):
good friend who's also adietician who has been using it
for a while and sees greatresults.
So there used to also be someissues with people getting sort
of bloated from it.
But I think that they've workedon kind of the quality of the
supplements.
But always when you take anykind of supplement, I don't care
what it is multivitamin,creatine, collagen make sure
(29:31):
that you are using somethingthat is third-party tested.
So that should be right on thebottle.
It should say third-partytested by XYZ.
There are different groups thatdo the testing, but you want to
make sure that you're getting asupplement that's basically you
know doesn't have any heavymetals in it and that you're
(29:52):
actually getting what it says onthe bottle.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Okay, One last question about like a hot topic,
since you're a health expertAll of the noise about seed oils
.
Tell me, is it as bad aseveryone's saying?
Because I've heard that.
You heard that everyone'sblowing it out of proportion.
What is your take on seed oils?
(30:16):
Need to know so number one.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I would say that my oil of choice is always going to
be extra virgin olive oil.
It has the highest level ofantioxidants.
We know because it's been partof the Mediterranean diet for
centuries.
We know that it has benefits.
It's been shown in many studiesto have benefits.
(30:39):
Seed oils I think the concern isoverblown, absolutely.
I don't think it's a problem tohave a packaged cookie or
cracker that includes seed oilsin it.
I would just say that shouldn'tbe the crux of your diet.
Right, that could be a once in awhile thing, right, right, and
(31:03):
many, many packaged foods docontain seed oils.
But again, we're supposed to befocusing more on whole foods
fruits, veggies, proteins, nutsand seeds.
Those are supposed to be in ourdiet and that's like 80%.
So if you're including somesnacks, which I think we all
(31:25):
kind of need to do because weall live very busy lives, we're
on the go, we're using barssometimes because we're dropping
our kid off someplace at eightin the morning and then we need
to go and have anotherappointment so I think there's
no way, unless you live on afarm, to really not eat
processed foods that areprocessed to some degree.
(31:46):
It's just trying to kind ofminimize that and not rely on it
so heavily.
So no, I don't think they're asbad as some influencers would
lead you to believe and alsojust to call out.
You should be getting not justyou, people should be getting
their health information fromreal health professionals,
(32:08):
including registered dietitiansand doctors, and not from
influencers who don'tnecessarily know how to read a
scientific study.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's so true, and I think you know there's so many
quote-unquote experts on socialmedia Instagram, tiktok that
they are so convincing that youjust take their word as like
they're experts and they're not.
They're just, you know, some 20year old spewing whatever the
(32:38):
hell their, you know, whatevertheir take on something is and
it's.
But it's hard because you, youknow, you do hear so much.
So that's why I wanted to askyou, because I feel like maybe
it's just my feed, but it's seedoil, protein, creatine,
weightlifting.
I'm just exhausted.
(32:58):
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah, I do think that you have to kind of tune out,
you have to know what works foryou, and I'm sure that it sounds
like you're doing a lot ofstuff that you feel like is
working for you, like cuttingout the booze and cutting down
on caffeine and getting in thatdaily movement.
So I think it's a lot of peoplereally need to sort of go
(33:22):
within and trust themselves alittle bit more.
You know, certainly look to theexperts, but you get bombarded
and it can get very.
You can feel like you'regetting brainwashed on social
media for sure, a hundredpercent.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I had to take a break from doing everything, but it's
almost now.
I feel like I am tryingeverything and my mom actually
makes fun of me.
She's like how do you even knowwhat's working?
You do everything and I'm likeI know.
So I just started on peptidetherapy.
I'm also taking a crazy amountof supplements.
I'm drinking this skin cherryconcoction and I told her I'm
(34:01):
like I don't even care, I justwant to feel better.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
And I have to tell you that itwas so worth getting pregnant,
not just to have a baby, butalso to escape the
perimenopausal symptoms that Iwas having.
I was like this feels great.
Oh my gosh Love being pregnantFeels great and honestly, I'm
sure I'm still not.
I'm still riding the high ofbreastfeeding at this point.
(34:29):
At some point I will crash andI will be, you know, at the same
level that I was before.
And I don't know, I might, Imight be in menopause when I'm
done breastfeeding.
I don't know where I will be.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
On the second your body's on pause.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, yeah, so I'm getting a little break, but I
think it's.
I'm so happy that that we'rehaving the conversation about
perimenopause and all of thesesymptoms and what to do, and
that it's now.
It's no longer taboo, becausewomen have suffered in relative
silence for such a long time andI mean, look, it's just.
(35:09):
That's ridiculous, because 50%of the population goes through
this and we need to have optionsand we need to have partners
who understand what it is thatwe're going through.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, I was really frustrated.
A few months ago.
I went and got my blood testdone and then I got a Dutch test
done and they basically saidthe complete opposite.
One said my testosterone wasfine.
The other one said it was low.
And I went to a nutritionist, anaturopathic, and he said it's
(35:42):
about your symptoms, becauseyour body fluctuates at all
times.
Yes, it's great to have theselevels, but pay attention to the
symptoms, and that's what Iwant to treat, rather than
what's on this piece of paper.
And I think do you find that tobe true as well?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Absolutely, because they can test your hormone
levels.
But again, they will tell youthat unless they drop beyond a
certain threshold, you know theestrogen really is what they're
looking at.
You know if that goes they have.
You know there are certainranges that tell them okay, now
you are actually, you know,reaching menopause.
(36:17):
But they can fluctuate and youknow, just like somebody could
have, could not get their periodfor six months, but then it
comes back, right, you know.
And then sometimes they'regetting it for like 20 days a
month, right month, and allkinds of different things.
So, yeah, it really is aboutthe symptoms and I think it's
about trying to go back to thesebasic.
(36:40):
I know that people want to tryeverything to see what is going
to work, but your mom is right,you won't know what exactly is
working for you unless you trythings kind of one at a time.
Right For about 30 days Right 30days should give you a sense of
whether something's working foryou.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Thank you so much for your time and congratulations.
I hope I get to see you soon.
I love babies so much.
I hope to see you soon.
So I could I love baby so much.
Um, I hope to see you soon, Ihope.
I mean.
I cannot believe we've knowneach other for so many years and
we've only met virtually.
So I hope to change that in thenext year or so.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yes, that would be amazing, sabrina, and, um yeah,
thank you, I'm so thrilled foryou.
I mean, you have so much goingon with your show and getting
married and Olivia and so manywonderful things.
Thank you and congrats on allof your success.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Thank you so much, and for anyone listening, I will
have Frances' information onher Instagram, her website and
all of her books are on herwebsite.
You can get in touch with herthere as well, and I can attest
that she reads her DMs because Ijust DMed her before.
So if you have questions forher, you could DM her as well.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Awesome.
Thanks so much, sabrina, Ireally appreciate it.
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