July 14, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode, Palak Dave shares how we've become the experimental generation navigating digital life without established guidelines. She offers practical wisdom for implementing digital boundaries without completely disconnecting from modern life.
The conversation explores three powerful strategies for creating more fulfilling days: evaluating where your time actually goes, prioritizing genuine human connection, and implementing healthy digital habits. We discuss the counterintuitive truth that activities we think help us "tune out" like binge-watching shows or consuming true crime podcasts often leave us more depleted than energized. Meanwhile, activities that require effort initially like exercise, creative pursuits, or socializing, ultimately fill our cups.
Whether you're feeling perpetually tethered to your devices, struggling with boundaries between work and personal time, or simply seeking more meaningful connection, this conversation offers both the inspiration and practical tools to redesign your relationship with technology. Connect with Palak's work and her book "Beautiful Everydays" through the links in our show notes.
Connect with Palak Dave on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/paldave?
Her book, "Beautiful Everydays"
https://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Everydays-Guide-Living-Here/dp/1738214702
Connect with Sabrina:
https://www.instagram.com/Sabrina_Soto/
www.SabrinaSoto.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
(00:24):
Hi, palak, hi, thank you somuch for joining us on
Redesigning Life.
I am so excited to have you on.
I am excited about thisconversation because what you
stand for is something that I'mtrying to implement in my own
life.
So we'll get to that in asecond.
But before we get started, canyou tell our listeners a little
(00:45):
bit about your background andyour book and all of the things?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yes, thank you so much for having me on, sabrina.
I'm excited about this chat.
They have enough in-personconnection that they're
experiencing things in real lifethrough meaningful experiences
and that they're being mindfulof their digital habits just
because of the digital era thatwe live in and how much it is a
(01:12):
part of our day-to-day lives.
So I actually come from a10-year corporate career
background and seven years ago Ilaunched my own company,
imbiria, and it essentiallyhelps women do all of these
things, and now it's evolvedinto a social club.
I launched the book BeautifulEvery Days earlier this year and
my entire ethos is just wantingwomen to feel more fulfilled in
their day-to-day lives.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay.
So, with that said, I feel like, more than ever because of
social media, because our phonesare always attached to us I
mean, there are companies thatmake chains so that it actually
is chained to your body it'simpossible to disconnect, but
I've noticed in my own life,especially last year I went on a
(01:53):
seven-day retreat where theytook away your phone and for the
first time in years, I got tolisten to my own gut and my own
self and intuition and I wouldlove to say that I've
incorporated that into my life.
But I find it impossible inthis day and age.
So can you give some tips onhow to find silence or
(02:17):
disconnect when we have so muchon our plates, especially if you
have kids?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
I love that you had thatexperience, though, because you
know what it's like when youhave that feeling.
And that's the key, becausewhen you do have days off where
you do that, you come backthinking how can I get this in
my everyday life and how do Iincorporate it into my
day-to-day.
I actually want to say that theissue that we're having now is
we're sort of part of thisexperimental era of people that
(02:45):
you know.
Phones haven't been around thatlong, apps haven't been around
that long, and so we're goingthrough it and learning it as
it's happening, which is sort ofakin to when cigarettes were
able to be smoked anywhere onairplanes, restaurants, all that
and over time, there wereguidelines in place and rules
and regulations, and there wasmore safety warnings about the
(03:06):
negative effects of it.
So I kind of compare it to thatthat we are, unfortunately, in
the space where there aren't asmany guidelines yet.
I think it will happeneventually, and we're seeing it
with kids in school and a lot ofthose discussions that are
being had.
But in terms of how to do itright now, unfortunately, it
does fall on us as the consumersto take it in our own hands and
take back the control, and wehave to do that through little
(03:29):
habits every single day thatwill stack over time, the same
way that you would when it comesto your physical movement
routine and being at the gym,the same way that you would when
it comes to healthy eating.
It is one of those habits thatyou have to take it upon
yourself if you want to see anychange happen.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay.
So when you have a full-timejob and you have a child or
children and pets and a partnerand just a million things that
are pulling you in everydirection and there aren't
enough hours in the day to getall done, how do you physically
put your phone down when youknow that your to-do list is
(04:08):
still a mile long?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
So the first step would be to actually evaluate
where your time is going,because all of us have this.
All of us feel that we are toobusy.
We're living in a day and agewhere everything is about being
busy.
Sometimes it's a badge of honor, but we also know that we're
exhausted and so we know thatsomething's got to give and it
can't continue this way, becausewe're feeling overwhelmed,
depleted, exhausted and have notime to do anything that we
(04:32):
actually want to do and love.
So the first step would be toactually evaluate your time,
because it is shocking and it isjarring if you look at your
screen time and add up the timethat you're spending on your
phone, or if you're adding upthe time that you're spending
binge watching a show thatprobably doesn't even light you
up.
It's just something that youthink you're doing to disconnect
, because it feels easy, andwe're looking for easy things to
(04:55):
do, right, so we end up doingthose things, but what ends up
happening is we're not doingthings that are actually filling
our cup.
So these things all leave usfeeling depleted and not
energized the way that a hobbymight leave us feeling, or the
way that going to a dance classor having dinner with friends
might leave us feeling, and sothe first step would be to
evaluate your time and actuallyget a real picture of where your
(05:16):
hours are going.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
There will always Okay, wait, hold on.
Let's stop for a second there,because I just had a wow,
because I am so busy these daysworking on one specific project.
It's a temporary busy, but it'sreally crazy.
And so to unwind, I'll listento true crime podcasts because I
don't want to do self-help,which is my normal, like audible
(05:40):
, I don't want to think.
I want to listen to some sortof crime thing which is not
lighting me up.
Obviously.
It's actually probably makingme paranoid, but what I'm
listening, what I hear, is, if Iwould have taken that one hour
to play pickleball or something,instead I would feel less
exhausted than listening tosomebody getting murdered and
(06:02):
getting away with it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You got it.
You literally hit the nail onhis head, because there are
activities that we think that,by being able to tune out and
stop thinking that, those arerelaxing us, but they actually
put our bodies into a heightenedstate.
So when it is true crime, whichis fine because that's a lot of
people's go-to choice, orwhether it is like a drama on
Netflix and you're binging that,it doesn't matter.
(06:25):
There's lots of you can choose.
There's an array of things thatyou can choose from these days,
but the goal is to make a listof activities or things, even
things that you haven't beenable to do but you might be
remotely interested in.
So let's say, you haven't takenup pickleball, but you keep
hearing about it and thinking,oh, maybe I could play
pickleball.
If you're remotely interestedin it, add it to the list if you
(06:45):
think that it could besomething that might light you
up in some sort of way.
And the goal is to have thisgo-to list of things that
actually make you feel good andleave you feeling re-energized,
re-inspired, motivated, calmer,like your nervous system's more
regulated, because you're doingsomething that's filling your
cup rather than depleting you.
And when you do find time inyour schedule or you make time
(07:07):
for those things, you're goingto see that you're actually
inherently more productive atwork.
You're able to accomplish morein less amount of time because
you're filling your cup.
From a personal standpoint, sonow your overall well-being is
being looked at, versus feelinglike you're constantly on this
hamster wheel that you can't getoff of.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yes, I never thought of it that way because I almost
felt like it was a treat tomyself to listen to something
like that or to watch somecrappy show on TV, because it's
my I'm not thinking moment.
But I never thought it'sactually worse.
It's making everything worse.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah Well, you know what's funny about that?
That when you're playingpickleball or when you're
immersed in a hands-on activity,you're actually not thinking.
Your mind is very immersed inwhatever the act is of the thing
that you're doing, so yourbrain is able to rest.
In those moments it might feellike you're doing work in terms
of, oh, it's a physical activityand I have to, like, exert
(08:06):
energy, but it's in a positiveway, so your mind is getting the
chance to rest and fully bepresent and fully immerse
yourself in whatever it isyou're doing in front of you.
That's why pottery classes havetaken off in the past few
months.
There's a lot of potterystudios popping up because
people are looking for somethingthat doesn't involve them
thinking or planning or you know, they just get to show up and
(08:27):
immerse themselves in somethingand it's a full in real life
experience.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Although, I'm taking a pottery class.
It actually stressed me out,but that's just me.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
That's because I'm a perfectionist and I'm like
there's also that Cause.
That's like there's cookingclasses, there's lots of classes
you can do, and the whole goalis like leave the perfectionism
at the door and do it for thesake of doing it, not being the
best in class.
So there's also that which alot of us, especially as women,
I think, have to undo thatthinking.
But if you do allow that tokind of be put aside, you can
(08:57):
immerse yourself and have fun inthe activity for just the sake
of doing it, versus thinking youhave to excel at it the way
that you would want to excel atwork or in other professional
achievements.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
What?
Okay, so that's number one islooking at our online time and
how much time we're spending onwhatever.
Fill in the blank Okay, whatother things could we do?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So number two is all about human connection.
So we are in a time where wethink that we're being connected
to our network and our peopleand our community because we see
what they're doing online.
So it gives us a false sense offeeling connected to the people
around us.
You might know that someonewent on vacation recently, or
you might see that they're doingsomething with their kids, or
(09:37):
it was their child's birthday,and in fact you actually aren't
fully connecting with them likea like or a comment.
That's not true connection ashumans.
When we say connect, that meansconnecting in person or having a
one-to-one conversation withsomeone where you can read cues
and feel their energy andunderstand their mannerisms and
get feedback.
And it's a two-way loop.
(09:58):
It's not this one way, througha screen, feeling fulfilled.
You're not going to get thesame effect.
So human connection is key andwe're also in a time where
people think that they're sobusy so you're not having time
to actually connect with thepeople that you care about.
That's what I was going to say.
You're like well, I'm soexhausted for my week.
The last thing I want to do isplan a dinner party.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh, my gosh.
And when somebody cancels planson me, I'm like oh, thank you,
Thank you.
When somebody cancels plans onme, I'm like oh, thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Thank you.
It's funny and it's sad all atthe same time, because it
happens to me as well.
And you're like, you'recelebrating the fact that
someone's canceling, and that'swhen you know that there's
something wrong in society,where we're all excited that
plans are being canceled whenreally those are the things that
should be lighting us up, andthose are the things we should
look forward to, and we say yesto things with the best
(10:48):
intentions, and then the datecomes around and we're like oh
God, do I really want to driveacross the city for that thing
and do my hair and all thethings?
No, I don't want to do any ofit, exactly Because we're tired,
right.
So at the end of the day, wefeel tired and exhausted and
depleted, but if we put allthese little little things into
place, we're going to see thechanges and we're going to see
that we feel less of that.
(11:08):
So, human connection beingsaying yes to the things that
can actually make you feelfulfilled, and being surrounded
by people that can light you up,that are not energy drainers
but energy givers, the peoplethat you love having around you,
your friends, your family,whoever that is for you.
When you go out and see them inperson.
You rarely will leave saying,oh, I wish I sat at home and
(11:31):
scrolled on my phone instead, orI wish I watched that show
instead.
If you're with people thattruly light you up, then you
will feel good when you leaveand you'll realize oh, I
actually want more of that in mylife.
Like, why don't I do more ofthat?
That was so nice.
For example, I hear a lot ofwomen say you know, when they
went out to dinner with theirgirlfriends and they have such a
nice time because they're sopresent that their phones are
(11:53):
automatically put away.
Like you might take a fewpictures of the food or with
each other, but then you putyour phones away.
You're immersed in theconversation.
If you're having good, deepconversations with people you
care about, you areautomatically going to be on
your screen less.
That's just how life goes, andso it doesn't have to be a
forced thing.
That way it's just like youknow that's going to feel good.
(12:16):
Do more of it and you'll noticethat you come back feeling
really inspired and energizedand like you filled your cup
because you surrounded yourselfwith people that you, you
actually want to be around, andso that's.
A second tip is don't say no tothe invites because you think
you're going to be like tootired, or you rather, if you
have a valid reason and you'redoing something that is better
for you, then sure.
But if your reason is like, ah,I'm kind of like not feeling
(12:38):
this because I'm too tired, Iwould recommend pushing yourself
a little bit to see how youfeel if you do end up going and
the feelings that you getafterwards and how it actually
leaves you feeling energized.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's so well.
And that opens up anotherconversation of taking inventory
of the people that are in yourlife.
Because if you are constantlysaying no, or when people are
just changing plans and maybecanceling plans and you're
excited, maybe you have like,you're not in the right group of
friends.
And I think for a lot of us,especially me in my 40s, you
(13:15):
have a lot of people that are inyour life, maybe through
history, but not necessarilythat light you up and that's
another ball.
You know, that's another can ofworms.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, that's a big part of it actually, because
through the seasons in life andif you become a parent or you
move cities, like there's goingto be lots of different life
events that occur.
And I hear that often fromwomen like, oh, I have my
friends from elementary schooland we've been friends for so
long, but then they hang outwith a new group of women that
might inspire them from, like abusiness standpoint and suddenly
they're like oh, this feelsreally energizing.
(13:45):
I'm no longer like justgossiping about all the people
that we know.
Yeah, it's like more like, oh,now I feel inspired, I want to
take action.
Oh, I want to try this newthing that I heard about tonight
.
So it is really important tosort of broaden your circle and
be open to new connections tosee where they can fill gaps in
your life that are happening foryou.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, absolutely Okay .
So that's number one.
Number two what's next?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
The third one is all around healthy digital habits
and just having that sort ofcontrol around, and it's
self-discipline, it's willpower,it's all of these things,
because there is no one that'sgonna come and tell us hey, put
your phone down, like it has tobe.
You wanting this for yourselfbecause you wanna live a life
that feels more fulfilling thanthe time that you're spending
(14:29):
potentially on a screen.
And look, there's a time and aplace for it.
We all do it.
Tech is a part of our day today.
It's impossible to say, oh, I'mgoing to like run off to the
forest and do a digital detoxfor three months and still be
able to work and make a living.
That just doesn't happenanymore.
So I know that people thinkthat you can really only go so
extreme.
It's like I can only haveInstagram or I can completely
(14:51):
not be on it.
It's like there has to be ahappy medium there.
It's about finding the happymedium for you.
So for me that means Iabsolutely notice and I know
when I wake up in the mornings,if my phone is the first thing I
look at, it absolutely affectsthe way that my day goes.
I just feel a bit more frantic,my energy's a bit off.
I'm like worried about what I'mconsuming, if an email came
(15:13):
through that I'm thinking about.
So it's just a non-negotiablefor me to like, even if it means
waking up earlier, carving outthat time for myself before I
touch any of my devices.
How long do you go?
Mine's actually pretty long.
I do about an hour and a halfto two hours before I touch
anything, and that's me wakingup early enough to say I'm going
to fit in a workout, I'm goingto walk my dog with my husband,
(15:35):
I'm going to make a smoothie,I'm going to drink my lemon
water like things that justlight me up in the morning to
make me feel good.
I don't have to do all thosethings every day.
I'm also not someone who's likethose things every day.
I'm also not someone who's likeI don't need a strict routine.
I'm very intuitive with myself,and so one day I might be
feeling Pilates or yoga.
One day I'm like, oh, I'm goingto do a HIIT workout because I
need to like burn off someenergy and sweat.
One day might be a slow walkfor an hour just because I want
(15:57):
to be out in nature more and Iknow I have a meeting heavy day.
So I'll typically do that inthe mornings and then, after I
feel like I've like filled myown cup and nourished my
wellbeing, then I'll be like,okay, I'm sitting down to work
for the day.
And when I sit down to workthat's when I'm touching my tech
, because then it's all a partof that system of work.
(16:18):
When we were going into offices,you know, years and years ago,
even before not just before thepandemic, but if you look back
to like 40 years ago, when youdidn't have cell phones, you
would have a train ride to workor you would be just like
commuting without all of thisnoise coming in at you, and you
had that space and the mentalfreedom to think and to let
(16:38):
yourself be creative and allowyour thoughts to run wild and
just go from place to placewithout consuming.
So my number one rule for themornings is just allow yourself
to be and then, when you do geton your phone, try to create
before you consume.
So if you are posting or youneed to be doing stuff before
you let energy kind of impactyou on what other people are
(16:59):
posting.
Do your best to get yourcreation out first before you
like ingest all of this otherstuff that might affect the way
you feel about what you'reputting out in the world.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's just for me.
Well, okay, so I'm a businessowner and I'm also in a
occupation that there are.
No, it's not a nine to five,right?
So I have that on top of havingan eight year old on top of,
you know, on top of, on top ofon top of.
So, yes, that sounds fantastic,but I also need sleep.
So I'm like I don't want towake up an hour and a half
(17:33):
before my alarm goes off, justso that I can just sit in a room
, Like I, but I also.
It's so weird because I'mtalking to you and then I also
understand how importantmeditation is and how important
being quiet is for your mentalhealth.
It's like this dance that we'reall trying to do that sometimes
seems impossible.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yes, it absolutely does seem impossible, and what I
recommend to people is to notadd things in but actually strip
things away.
So we are in a time where wethink we need to do all the
things right.
You're like, oh, I have to workout, I have to sauna, I have to
cold plunge, I have to meditate, journal, take care of my
children.
(18:13):
All the things have a sociallife, work, all the things.
It's impossible to do it all.
If we really were to look atdoing it all, because
something's got to give whetherthat's going to be your mental
health or time with people youcare about or whatever something
is going to or shaving yourlegs, exactly.
So something's going to have togive.
So, instead of thinking aboutall the things that you have to
(18:35):
do and even looking at, don'tlook at self-care as a list of
things you have to do.
Look at self-care as justwell-being and what makes you
feel good, and that could meanone thing that day that makes
you feel good.
It doesn't have to be a laundrylist of items that we're
checking off the way that wewould check off a work to-do
list, like for me.
As I said in the mornings, I'mnot doing all the things I'm
(18:58):
reflecting and saying.
Do I have like five minutesright now?
Does that mean that I want tolike journal, or do I want to
just listen to a quickmeditation?
Or maybe I'm just like playingsome affirmations in the
background while I get ready,and it might just be that, but
it's something and it's a littlehabit and, as we know, habits
stack over time and you start tonotice when you're not doing
them that you don't feel as good, and so you know it's a habit,
(19:19):
just like brushing our teeth.
We brush our teeth and we knowthat if we didn't, we wouldn't
feel good, so we do it.
The same thing can happen withlittle wellness hacks and habits
.
You don't need a 10 stepmorning routine.
You don't need a 20 stepevening routine either, like you
absolutely do need good sleepand nourishing foods and
movement and the basics of justbeing a human and what makes us
(19:41):
feel good.
But you don't have to add allthose things in.
And I also wanted to touch onyour point about feeling like.
You know it's not a nine to fivejob.
When you own a business, youcan be tethered to your phone
and to your email, and all thatliterally 24 seven, and so it is
hard to turn it off.
But if you are creating contentfor your business, my tip with
(20:01):
that would be carving outseparate times throughout the
day to do different activitieson social media, because social
media is now just a virtualworld, right Like we're living
in the real world.
And then there's variousactivities we can do on social
media, which involves maybesending someone a DM, liking
people's posts, scrollingthrough your feed, looking at
stories, posting stories,posting content.
(20:23):
There's so many activities thatyou can do in that space, in
that virtual space.
So carving out different timesof the day for different
purposes will allow you to bemore intentional with the time
that you're spending there.
It's like saying that you gosomewhere physically and you
have a list of like 30 thingsthat you want to do when you get
there.
It's very confusing and youdon't know where to start and
(20:44):
where it will end because youjust are running through this
sort of loop On social media.
If you know that you're goingto go on with the intention of
posting, allow yourself to justpost and then get off for a bit
and take a break and then, whenyou know you want to connect or
you're trying to find someone tocollaborate with, or you're
doing some research forsomething and you need to look
up a few accounts, carve outtime to do just that, like if
(21:05):
you're actually breaking downthe activities, you won't feel
as bad when you go on, becauseyou'll know exactly what you're
there for, instead of ending updoing something completely
different that wasn't tied tothe initial thing, and that's
what leaves you feeling like, ohmy God, where did two hours
just go?
I just like spent two hoursdoing nothing.
What did I do with my time?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, it also bleeds into discussing boundaries and,
like last night, I'll give you aperfect social media turns you
into this guilty parent thatturns you into, like this,
go-getter.
But so a friend of mine postedthat she had set up this cute
little movie party for her kids.
(21:45):
And then I realized that I'vebeen working so much that I told
my daughter that we would watcha movie together.
And then we're watching themovie and I'm on my phone
because I'm working on a projectthat starts next week.
So she had to say, mom, youknow, I heard like mom get off
your phone and I'm like my eightyear old's telling me, telling
(22:06):
me that it felt like she stabbedme in the heart and it's like,
yeah, you're right, there has tobe boundaries of it, doesn't
you know?
It's going to have to wait.
Some things are just going tohave to wait.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And the thing is, social media and our phones make
us feel that everything needsto be urgent.
So it's very easy to fall intothat trap that it needs to be
answered right now.
But if you actually are mindfuland noticing and assessing,
you'll realize absolutely it canwait.
It can wait till tomorrow, itcan wait till an hour from now.
It can wait.
It's very rarely unless you'resaving lives.
(22:39):
It's very rarely as urgent aswe make it out to be.
And I know there's so muchpressure just from a work
standpoint, like we're puttingthis pressure on ourselves.
There's external pressure,there's societal pressure, like
there's so much pressure.
But if we take a step back andlook at it from like this bigger
picture universe standpoint,like we are just a little blip
(23:01):
in all of it and we really gotto get our perspective back,
because we are in it right nowand it feels like a tornado for
most people.
It's just a flurry of thingsconstantly coming at us and
until we're able to take a stepout of it, only then can change
really start to be implemented,to get our control back of our
time and our lives.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, and it is this self-imposed like pressure that
I'm working on a project now,just to be specific, and my
partner on the project is verymuch more relaxed than I am and
we are CC'd on emails and I willtext him and say you have to
get back to so-and-so, and he'slike it's Friday, I don't have
(23:44):
to get back to anybody, it'sFriday after hours.
This can wait.
But again, like we're so justunder this, guys are under this
idea that there are no businesshours and we have to realize
that it's okay.
It is okay to return to the.
The weekend is the weekend, youknow yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Actually there's a really good book on that called
10X is easier than 2X and it'sall about having days for
specific things and the authorstalk about having free days.
And free days is that wholeconcept of back in the day when
everything was closed on aSunday.
Your time would be spent withyour family, you'd be resting,
you'd be recharging, you'd justbe with your family doing things
(24:26):
you love.
Some people would be going tochurch.
It's just like a day to resetthat sounds magical.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Have you seen that meme that people were saying
that social media.
They wish they had social media.
Yes, like a library.
Yes, it would be amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes.
So, in absence of having someoneelse be able to give us those
hours, those are the things thatwe can absolutely put on
ourselves.
It's a lot of work to feel like, okay, we can get control over
this, but it's like, do we wantthis app controlling our time in
our lives or do we want to beable to control our time in our
lives, like I think we all wantthe latter right.
(25:00):
So, yeah, the concept of havingfree days is so key.
They actually recommend twodays a week, but even if it's
one day a week where you areliterally not working like you
are just not working and thereis scientific research based on
the fact that if we take thosedays for rest and for doing
activities with our families orpeople we love, or just for
ourselves, going out for a walkin nature with no intention or
(25:23):
purpose other than to have thefree time, we will just
automatically be able to givemore to everything else in our
life.
Our relationships will flourish, our work will do better, we'll
be more focused, our weeks willgo smoother.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
We hear this all the time and I preach this all the
time, and it's like anythingelse in your life.
You have to practice it,because I've fallen off the
wagon of disconnection that,yeah, you just have to remind
yourself.
But how did you even get sopassionate about this?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
That's a great question.
I've done some diggingpersonally to be like, yeah, why
am I so passionate aboutwanting to make the most of my
every day but do it in a waythat feels really fulfilling?
And if you asked me thisquestion two years ago, I would
have said, well, I started mycompany because I was craving a
sense of community in my life.
I was working at the TorontoInternational Film Festival.
(26:18):
I was at TIFF for four yearsrunning their marketing for the
festival and it was a very highstress job and I was craving
more community.
Personally, I was like I wantto make time for friends, I want
to make time for plans, I wantto go to a fitness class and be
able to know the women's names,not just walk in and out and
feel like, oh yeah, I did aworkout and I checked it off
without getting to know them andbuild a sense of community.
(26:40):
So that's initially why Istarted a company that really
did pop up experiences all overToronto to bring people together
.
But then I dug a few layersdeeper because I realized
there's like a real inherentneed for me to want to live a
fulfilling life every day, and Irealized that that mainly stems
from when I was 15 years old.
My dad passed away suddenly of aheart attack, and so I was only
(27:01):
15 years old when it happened.
It was a complete shock to thefamily, thank you.
He was mowing the lawn outsidein our new home in the backyard.
He had all these dreams andplans for himself and my mom to
travel the world when he retired, and all the things that he
would tell us all the time thathe wanted to do.
But he was so busy trying tobuild this life through his work
(27:23):
that he didn't ever get achance to do it.
And it wasn't until I realizedthat I faced that for myself.
It's only when you go through aloss or a tragedy or something
really big happens in your lifethat can shift your entire
perspective and for me, thatshifted my perspective to
realize I don't want to waittill I'm retired to do these
(27:43):
things.
I don't want to wait till I'm inmy 60s and then I may not have
the energy or the ability or Imay not even get that time.
Like who knows, nothing'sguaranteed in life.
And when you start to face thereality of all of us are going
to face that one day, and that'sthe one thing that we know for
certain is that we're not hereforever.
Then you start to put thingsinto perspective, to realize it
(28:04):
is up to us to make our ownlives beautiful every single day
and to live them in a way thatfeels fulfilling, and to do the
things that matter, and to putwork into perspective.
And, yes, we want to make animpact and work To me.
I work a lot, but I've made mybusiness my mission, and so
they're intertwined andintegrated.
Where I'm now talking about thethings that I love, and so when
(28:26):
I am promoting my book or I'mtalking about an event, or I'm
hosting an event, I'm bringingto life the values that I so
strongly believe in, and so I'mable to live out that purpose,
which has been a reallybeautiful flow circle moment for
me.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I love that.
You're absolutely right.
Sometimes it takes horriblethings and big tragedies in your
life to put everything intoperspective, tragedies in your
life to put everything intoperspective.
But I love that you are makingthat your mission in life and
helping other people kind oftake a beat.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Thank you.
And, yeah, I don't want peopleto have to face those tragedies
to learn those lessons.
And that's exactly why Icommunicate the message, because
I'm like I don't want you tohave to go through a loss or
something tragic, or somebodygets sick for you to stop and
realize, oh, loss or somethingtragic, or somebody gets sick,
for you to stop and realize, oh,when life is paused, that's
(29:17):
when I'm actually dealing withthe real things that happen in
life, because real stuff comesup that matters so much more
than the email that is waitingto be answered.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
A hundred percent.
Thank you so much, palak.
For anybody listening in theshow notes, I will have her
Instagram, your website, also alink to her book, which is
Beautiful Every Days, and you'llhave all the contact for you to
get in touch with you or evenpick up your book, which I look
forward to reading because, lordknows, I need this in my life
(29:42):
more than ever.
But I appreciate thank you somuch for your time today.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh, thank you, Sabrina, I love chatting with
you.
Thanks so much.
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
(00:24):
Hi, palak, hi, thank you somuch for joining us on
Redesigning Life.
I am so excited to have you on.
I am excited about thisconversation because what you
stand for is something that I'mtrying to implement in my own
life.
So we'll get to that in asecond.
But before we get started, canyou tell our listeners a little
(00:45):
bit about your background andyour book and all of the things?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yes, thank you so much for having me on, sabrina.
I'm excited about this chat.
They have enough in-personconnection that they're
experiencing things in real lifethrough meaningful experiences
and that they're being mindfulof their digital habits just
because of the digital era thatwe live in and how much it is a
(01:12):
part of our day-to-day lives.
So I actually come from a10-year corporate career
background and seven years ago Ilaunched my own company,
imbiria, and it essentiallyhelps women do all of these
things, and now it's evolvedinto a social club.
I launched the book BeautifulEvery Days earlier this year and
my entire ethos is just wantingwomen to feel more fulfilled in
their day-to-day lives.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay.
So, with that said, I feel like, more than ever because of
social media, because our phonesare always attached to us I
mean, there are companies thatmake chains so that it actually
is chained to your body it'simpossible to disconnect, but
I've noticed in my own life,especially last year I went on a
(01:53):
seven-day retreat where theytook away your phone and for the
first time in years, I got tolisten to my own gut and my own
self and intuition and I wouldlove to say that I've
incorporated that into my life.
But I find it impossible inthis day and age.
So can you give some tips onhow to find silence or
(02:17):
disconnect when we have so muchon our plates, especially if you
have kids?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
I love that you had thatexperience, though, because you
know what it's like when youhave that feeling.
And that's the key, becausewhen you do have days off where
you do that, you come backthinking how can I get this in
my everyday life and how do Iincorporate it into my
day-to-day.
I actually want to say that theissue that we're having now is
we're sort of part of thisexperimental era of people that
(02:45):
you know.
Phones haven't been around thatlong, apps haven't been around
that long, and so we're goingthrough it and learning it as
it's happening, which is sort ofakin to when cigarettes were
able to be smoked anywhere onairplanes, restaurants, all that
and over time, there wereguidelines in place and rules
and regulations, and there wasmore safety warnings about the
(03:06):
negative effects of it.
So I kind of compare it to thatthat we are, unfortunately, in
the space where there aren't asmany guidelines yet.
I think it will happeneventually, and we're seeing it
with kids in school and a lot ofthose discussions that are
being had.
But in terms of how to do itright now, unfortunately, it
does fall on us as the consumersto take it in our own hands and
take back the control, and wehave to do that through little
(03:29):
habits every single day thatwill stack over time, the same
way that you would when it comesto your physical movement
routine and being at the gym,the same way that you would when
it comes to healthy eating.
It is one of those habits thatyou have to take it upon
yourself if you want to see anychange happen.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay.
So when you have a full-timejob and you have a child or
children and pets and a partnerand just a million things that
are pulling you in everydirection and there aren't
enough hours in the day to getall done, how do you physically
put your phone down when youknow that your to-do list is
(04:08):
still a mile long?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
So the first step would be to actually evaluate
where your time is going,because all of us have this.
All of us feel that we are toobusy.
We're living in a day and agewhere everything is about being
busy.
Sometimes it's a badge of honor, but we also know that we're
exhausted and so we know thatsomething's got to give and it
can't continue this way, becausewe're feeling overwhelmed,
depleted, exhausted and have notime to do anything that we
(04:32):
actually want to do and love.
So the first step would be toactually evaluate your time,
because it is shocking and it isjarring if you look at your
screen time and add up the timethat you're spending on your
phone, or if you're adding upthe time that you're spending
binge watching a show thatprobably doesn't even light you
up.
It's just something that youthink you're doing to disconnect
, because it feels easy, andwe're looking for easy things to
(04:55):
do, right, so we end up doingthose things, but what ends up
happening is we're not doingthings that are actually filling
our cup.
So these things all leave usfeeling depleted and not
energized the way that a hobbymight leave us feeling, or the
way that going to a dance classor having dinner with friends
might leave us feeling, and sothe first step would be to
evaluate your time and actuallyget a real picture of where your
(05:16):
hours are going.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
There will always Okay, wait, hold on.
Let's stop for a second there,because I just had a wow,
because I am so busy these daysworking on one specific project.
It's a temporary busy, but it'sreally crazy.
And so to unwind, I'll listento true crime podcasts because I
don't want to do self-help,which is my normal, like audible
(05:40):
, I don't want to think.
I want to listen to some sortof crime thing which is not
lighting me up.
Obviously.
It's actually probably makingme paranoid, but what I'm
listening, what I hear, is, if Iwould have taken that one hour
to play pickleball or something,instead I would feel less
exhausted than listening tosomebody getting murdered and
(06:02):
getting away with it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You got it.
You literally hit the nail onhis head, because there are
activities that we think that,by being able to tune out and
stop thinking that, those arerelaxing us, but they actually
put our bodies into a heightenedstate.
So when it is true crime, whichis fine because that's a lot of
people's go-to choice, orwhether it is like a drama on
Netflix and you're binging that,it doesn't matter.
(06:25):
There's lots of you can choose.
There's an array of things thatyou can choose from these days,
but the goal is to make a listof activities or things, even
things that you haven't beenable to do but you might be
remotely interested in.
So let's say, you haven't takenup pickleball, but you keep
hearing about it and thinking,oh, maybe I could play
pickleball.
If you're remotely interestedin it, add it to the list if you
(06:45):
think that it could besomething that might light you
up in some sort of way.
And the goal is to have thisgo-to list of things that
actually make you feel good andleave you feeling re-energized,
re-inspired, motivated, calmer,like your nervous system's more
regulated, because you're doingsomething that's filling your
cup rather than depleting you.
And when you do find time inyour schedule or you make time
(07:07):
for those things, you're goingto see that you're actually
inherently more productive atwork.
You're able to accomplish morein less amount of time because
you're filling your cup.
From a personal standpoint, sonow your overall well-being is
being looked at, versus feelinglike you're constantly on this
hamster wheel that you can't getoff of.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yes, I never thought of it that way because I almost
felt like it was a treat tomyself to listen to something
like that or to watch somecrappy show on TV, because it's
my I'm not thinking moment.
But I never thought it'sactually worse.
It's making everything worse.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah Well, you know what's funny about that?
That when you're playingpickleball or when you're
immersed in a hands-on activity,you're actually not thinking.
Your mind is very immersed inwhatever the act is of the thing
that you're doing, so yourbrain is able to rest.
In those moments it might feellike you're doing work in terms
of, oh, it's a physical activityand I have to, like, exert
(08:06):
energy, but it's in a positiveway, so your mind is getting the
chance to rest and fully bepresent and fully immerse
yourself in whatever it isyou're doing in front of you.
That's why pottery classes havetaken off in the past few
months.
There's a lot of potterystudios popping up because
people are looking for somethingthat doesn't involve them
thinking or planning or you know, they just get to show up and
(08:27):
immerse themselves in somethingand it's a full in real life
experience.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Although, I'm taking a pottery class.
It actually stressed me out,but that's just me.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
That's because I'm a perfectionist and I'm like
there's also that Cause.
That's like there's cookingclasses, there's lots of classes
you can do, and the whole goalis like leave the perfectionism
at the door and do it for thesake of doing it, not being the
best in class.
So there's also that which alot of us, especially as women,
I think, have to undo thatthinking.
But if you do allow that tokind of be put aside, you can
(08:57):
immerse yourself and have fun inthe activity for just the sake
of doing it, versus thinking youhave to excel at it the way
that you would want to excel atwork or in other professional
achievements.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
What?
Okay, so that's number one islooking at our online time and
how much time we're spending onwhatever.
Fill in the blank Okay, whatother things could we do?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So number two is all about human connection.
So we are in a time where wethink that we're being connected
to our network and our peopleand our community because we see
what they're doing online.
So it gives us a false sense offeeling connected to the people
around us.
You might know that someonewent on vacation recently, or
you might see that they're doingsomething with their kids, or
(09:37):
it was their child's birthday,and in fact you actually aren't
fully connecting with them likea like or a comment.
That's not true connection ashumans.
When we say connect, that meansconnecting in person or having a
one-to-one conversation withsomeone where you can read cues
and feel their energy andunderstand their mannerisms and
get feedback.
And it's a two-way loop.
(09:58):
It's not this one way, througha screen, feeling fulfilled.
You're not going to get thesame effect.
So human connection is key andwe're also in a time where
people think that they're sobusy so you're not having time
to actually connect with thepeople that you care about.
That's what I was going to say.
You're like well, I'm soexhausted for my week.
The last thing I want to do isplan a dinner party.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh, my gosh.
And when somebody cancels planson me, I'm like oh, thank you,
Thank you.
When somebody cancels plans onme, I'm like oh, thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Thank you.
It's funny and it's sad all atthe same time, because it
happens to me as well.
And you're like, you'recelebrating the fact that
someone's canceling, and that'swhen you know that there's
something wrong in society,where we're all excited that
plans are being canceled whenreally those are the things that
should be lighting us up, andthose are the things we should
look forward to, and we say yesto things with the best
(10:48):
intentions, and then the datecomes around and we're like oh
God, do I really want to driveacross the city for that thing
and do my hair and all thethings?
No, I don't want to do any ofit, exactly Because we're tired,
right.
So at the end of the day, wefeel tired and exhausted and
depleted, but if we put allthese little little things into
place, we're going to see thechanges and we're going to see
that we feel less of that.
(11:08):
So, human connection beingsaying yes to the things that
can actually make you feelfulfilled, and being surrounded
by people that can light you up,that are not energy drainers
but energy givers, the peoplethat you love having around you,
your friends, your family,whoever that is for you.
When you go out and see them inperson.
You rarely will leave saying,oh, I wish I sat at home and
(11:31):
scrolled on my phone instead, orI wish I watched that show
instead.
If you're with people thattruly light you up, then you
will feel good when you leaveand you'll realize oh, I
actually want more of that in mylife.
Like, why don't I do more ofthat?
That was so nice.
For example, I hear a lot ofwomen say you know, when they
went out to dinner with theirgirlfriends and they have such a
nice time because they're sopresent that their phones are
(11:53):
automatically put away.
Like you might take a fewpictures of the food or with
each other, but then you putyour phones away.
You're immersed in theconversation.
If you're having good, deepconversations with people you
care about, you areautomatically going to be on
your screen less.
That's just how life goes, andso it doesn't have to be a
forced thing.
That way it's just like youknow that's going to feel good.
(12:16):
Do more of it and you'll noticethat you come back feeling
really inspired and energizedand like you filled your cup
because you surrounded yourselfwith people that you, you
actually want to be around, andso that's.
A second tip is don't say no tothe invites because you think
you're going to be like tootired, or you rather, if you
have a valid reason and you'redoing something that is better
for you, then sure.
But if your reason is like, ah,I'm kind of like not feeling
(12:38):
this because I'm too tired, Iwould recommend pushing yourself
a little bit to see how youfeel if you do end up going and
the feelings that you getafterwards and how it actually
leaves you feeling energized.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's so well.
And that opens up anotherconversation of taking inventory
of the people that are in yourlife.
Because if you are constantlysaying no, or when people are
just changing plans and maybecanceling plans and you're
excited, maybe you have like,you're not in the right group of
friends.
And I think for a lot of us,especially me in my 40s, you
(13:15):
have a lot of people that are inyour life, maybe through
history, but not necessarilythat light you up and that's
another ball.
You know, that's another can ofworms.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, that's a big part of it actually, because
through the seasons in life andif you become a parent or you
move cities, like there's goingto be lots of different life
events that occur.
And I hear that often fromwomen like, oh, I have my
friends from elementary schooland we've been friends for so
long, but then they hang outwith a new group of women that
might inspire them from, like abusiness standpoint and suddenly
they're like oh, this feelsreally energizing.
(13:45):
I'm no longer like justgossiping about all the people
that we know.
Yeah, it's like more like, oh,now I feel inspired, I want to
take action.
Oh, I want to try this newthing that I heard about tonight
.
So it is really important tosort of broaden your circle and
be open to new connections tosee where they can fill gaps in
your life that are happening foryou.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, absolutely Okay .
So that's number one.
Number two what's next?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
The third one is all around healthy digital habits
and just having that sort ofcontrol around, and it's
self-discipline, it's willpower,it's all of these things,
because there is no one that'sgonna come and tell us hey, put
your phone down, like it has tobe.
You wanting this for yourselfbecause you wanna live a life
that feels more fulfilling thanthe time that you're spending
(14:29):
potentially on a screen.
And look, there's a time and aplace for it.
We all do it.
Tech is a part of our day today.
It's impossible to say, oh, I'mgoing to like run off to the
forest and do a digital detoxfor three months and still be
able to work and make a living.
That just doesn't happenanymore.
So I know that people thinkthat you can really only go so
extreme.
It's like I can only haveInstagram or I can completely
(14:51):
not be on it.
It's like there has to be ahappy medium there.
It's about finding the happymedium for you.
So for me that means Iabsolutely notice and I know
when I wake up in the mornings,if my phone is the first thing I
look at, it absolutely affectsthe way that my day goes.
I just feel a bit more frantic,my energy's a bit off.
I'm like worried about what I'mconsuming, if an email came
(15:13):
through that I'm thinking about.
So it's just a non-negotiablefor me to like, even if it means
waking up earlier, carving outthat time for myself before I
touch any of my devices.
How long do you go?
Mine's actually pretty long.
I do about an hour and a halfto two hours before I touch
anything, and that's me wakingup early enough to say I'm going
to fit in a workout, I'm goingto walk my dog with my husband,
(15:35):
I'm going to make a smoothie,I'm going to drink my lemon
water like things that justlight me up in the morning to
make me feel good.
I don't have to do all thosethings every day.
I'm also not someone who's likethose things every day.
I'm also not someone who's likeI don't need a strict routine.
I'm very intuitive with myself,and so one day I might be
feeling Pilates or yoga.
One day I'm like, oh, I'm goingto do a HIIT workout because I
need to like burn off someenergy and sweat.
One day might be a slow walkfor an hour just because I want
(15:57):
to be out in nature more and Iknow I have a meeting heavy day.
So I'll typically do that inthe mornings and then, after I
feel like I've like filled myown cup and nourished my
wellbeing, then I'll be like,okay, I'm sitting down to work
for the day.
And when I sit down to workthat's when I'm touching my tech
, because then it's all a partof that system of work.
(16:18):
When we were going into offices,you know, years and years ago,
even before not just before thepandemic, but if you look back
to like 40 years ago, when youdidn't have cell phones, you
would have a train ride to workor you would be just like
commuting without all of thisnoise coming in at you, and you
had that space and the mentalfreedom to think and to let
(16:38):
yourself be creative and allowyour thoughts to run wild and
just go from place to placewithout consuming.
So my number one rule for themornings is just allow yourself
to be and then, when you do geton your phone, try to create
before you consume.
So if you are posting or youneed to be doing stuff before
you let energy kind of impactyou on what other people are
(16:59):
posting.
Do your best to get yourcreation out first before you
like ingest all of this otherstuff that might affect the way
you feel about what you'reputting out in the world.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's just for me.
Well, okay, so I'm a businessowner and I'm also in a
occupation that there are.
No, it's not a nine to five,right?
So I have that on top of havingan eight year old on top of,
you know, on top of, on top ofon top of.
So, yes, that sounds fantastic,but I also need sleep.
So I'm like I don't want towake up an hour and a half
(17:33):
before my alarm goes off, justso that I can just sit in a room
, Like I, but I also.
It's so weird because I'mtalking to you and then I also
understand how importantmeditation is and how important
being quiet is for your mentalhealth.
It's like this dance that we'reall trying to do that sometimes
seems impossible.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yes, it absolutely does seem impossible, and what I
recommend to people is to notadd things in but actually strip
things away.
So we are in a time where wethink we need to do all the
things right.
You're like, oh, I have to workout, I have to sauna, I have to
cold plunge, I have to meditate, journal, take care of my
children.
(18:13):
All the things have a sociallife, work, all the things.
It's impossible to do it all.
If we really were to look atdoing it all, because
something's got to give whetherthat's going to be your mental
health or time with people youcare about or whatever something
is going to or shaving yourlegs, exactly.
So something's going to have togive.
So, instead of thinking aboutall the things that you have to
(18:35):
do and even looking at, don'tlook at self-care as a list of
things you have to do.
Look at self-care as justwell-being and what makes you
feel good, and that could meanone thing that day that makes
you feel good.
It doesn't have to be a laundrylist of items that we're
checking off the way that wewould check off a work to-do
list, like for me.
As I said in the mornings, I'mnot doing all the things I'm
(18:58):
reflecting and saying.
Do I have like five minutesright now?
Does that mean that I want tolike journal, or do I want to
just listen to a quickmeditation?
Or maybe I'm just like playingsome affirmations in the
background while I get ready,and it might just be that, but
it's something and it's a littlehabit and, as we know, habits
stack over time and you start tonotice when you're not doing
them that you don't feel as good, and so you know it's a habit,
(19:19):
just like brushing our teeth.
We brush our teeth and we knowthat if we didn't, we wouldn't
feel good, so we do it.
The same thing can happen withlittle wellness hacks and habits
.
You don't need a 10 stepmorning routine.
You don't need a 20 stepevening routine either, like you
absolutely do need good sleepand nourishing foods and
movement and the basics of justbeing a human and what makes us
(19:41):
feel good.
But you don't have to add allthose things in.
And I also wanted to touch onyour point about feeling like.
You know it's not a nine to fivejob.
When you own a business, youcan be tethered to your phone
and to your email, and all thatliterally 24 seven, and so it is
hard to turn it off.
But if you are creating contentfor your business, my tip with
(20:01):
that would be carving outseparate times throughout the
day to do different activitieson social media, because social
media is now just a virtualworld, right Like we're living
in the real world.
And then there's variousactivities we can do on social
media, which involves maybesending someone a DM, liking
people's posts, scrollingthrough your feed, looking at
stories, posting stories,posting content.
(20:23):
There's so many activities thatyou can do in that space, in
that virtual space.
So carving out different timesof the day for different
purposes will allow you to bemore intentional with the time
that you're spending there.
It's like saying that you gosomewhere physically and you
have a list of like 30 thingsthat you want to do when you get
there.
It's very confusing and youdon't know where to start and
(20:44):
where it will end because youjust are running through this
sort of loop On social media.
If you know that you're goingto go on with the intention of
posting, allow yourself to justpost and then get off for a bit
and take a break and then, whenyou know you want to connect or
you're trying to find someone tocollaborate with, or you're
doing some research forsomething and you need to look
up a few accounts, carve outtime to do just that, like if
(21:05):
you're actually breaking downthe activities, you won't feel
as bad when you go on, becauseyou'll know exactly what you're
there for, instead of ending updoing something completely
different that wasn't tied tothe initial thing, and that's
what leaves you feeling like, ohmy God, where did two hours
just go?
I just like spent two hoursdoing nothing.
What did I do with my time?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, it also bleeds into discussing boundaries and,
like last night, I'll give you aperfect social media turns you
into this guilty parent thatturns you into, like this,
go-getter.
But so a friend of mine postedthat she had set up this cute
little movie party for her kids.
(21:45):
And then I realized that I'vebeen working so much that I told
my daughter that we would watcha movie together.
And then we're watching themovie and I'm on my phone
because I'm working on a projectthat starts next week.
So she had to say, mom, youknow, I heard like mom get off
your phone and I'm like my eightyear old's telling me, telling
(22:06):
me that it felt like she stabbedme in the heart and it's like,
yeah, you're right, there has tobe boundaries of it, doesn't
you know?
It's going to have to wait.
Some things are just going tohave to wait.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
And the thing is, social media and our phones make
us feel that everything needsto be urgent.
So it's very easy to fall intothat trap that it needs to be
answered right now.
But if you actually are mindfuland noticing and assessing,
you'll realize absolutely it canwait.
It can wait till tomorrow, itcan wait till an hour from now.
It can wait.
It's very rarely unless you'resaving lives.
(22:39):
It's very rarely as urgent aswe make it out to be.
And I know there's so muchpressure just from a work
standpoint, like we're puttingthis pressure on ourselves.
There's external pressure,there's societal pressure, like
there's so much pressure.
But if we take a step back andlook at it from like this bigger
picture universe standpoint,like we are just a little blip
(23:01):
in all of it and we really gotto get our perspective back,
because we are in it right nowand it feels like a tornado for
most people.
It's just a flurry of thingsconstantly coming at us and
until we're able to take a stepout of it, only then can change
really start to be implemented,to get our control back of our
time and our lives.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, and it is this self-imposed like pressure that
I'm working on a project now,just to be specific, and my
partner on the project is verymuch more relaxed than I am and
we are CC'd on emails and I willtext him and say you have to
get back to so-and-so, and he'slike it's Friday, I don't have
(23:44):
to get back to anybody, it'sFriday after hours.
This can wait.
But again, like we're so justunder this, guys are under this
idea that there are no businesshours and we have to realize
that it's okay.
It is okay to return to the.
The weekend is the weekend, youknow yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Actually there's a really good book on that called
10X is easier than 2X and it'sall about having days for
specific things and the authorstalk about having free days.
And free days is that wholeconcept of back in the day when
everything was closed on aSunday.
Your time would be spent withyour family, you'd be resting,
you'd be recharging, you'd justbe with your family doing things
(24:26):
you love.
Some people would be going tochurch.
It's just like a day to resetthat sounds magical.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Have you seen that meme that people were saying
that social media.
They wish they had social media.
Yes, like a library.
Yes, it would be amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes.
So, in absence of having someoneelse be able to give us those
hours, those are the things thatwe can absolutely put on
ourselves.
It's a lot of work to feel like, okay, we can get control over
this, but it's like, do we wantthis app controlling our time in
our lives or do we want to beable to control our time in our
lives, like I think we all wantthe latter right.
(25:00):
So, yeah, the concept of havingfree days is so key.
They actually recommend twodays a week, but even if it's
one day a week where you areliterally not working like you
are just not working and thereis scientific research based on
the fact that if we take thosedays for rest and for doing
activities with our families orpeople we love, or just for
ourselves, going out for a walkin nature with no intention or
(25:23):
purpose other than to have thefree time, we will just
automatically be able to givemore to everything else in our
life.
Our relationships will flourish, our work will do better, we'll
be more focused, our weeks willgo smoother.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
We hear this all the time and I preach this all the
time, and it's like anythingelse in your life.
You have to practice it,because I've fallen off the
wagon of disconnection that,yeah, you just have to remind
yourself.
But how did you even get sopassionate about this?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
That's a great question.
I've done some diggingpersonally to be like, yeah, why
am I so passionate aboutwanting to make the most of my
every day but do it in a waythat feels really fulfilling?
And if you asked me thisquestion two years ago, I would
have said, well, I started mycompany because I was craving a
sense of community in my life.
I was working at the TorontoInternational Film Festival.
(26:18):
I was at TIFF for four yearsrunning their marketing for the
festival and it was a very highstress job and I was craving
more community.
Personally, I was like I wantto make time for friends, I want
to make time for plans, I wantto go to a fitness class and be
able to know the women's names,not just walk in and out and
feel like, oh yeah, I did aworkout and I checked it off
without getting to know them andbuild a sense of community.
(26:40):
So that's initially why Istarted a company that really
did pop up experiences all overToronto to bring people together
.
But then I dug a few layersdeeper because I realized
there's like a real inherentneed for me to want to live a
fulfilling life every day, and Irealized that that mainly stems
from when I was 15 years old.
My dad passed away suddenly of aheart attack, and so I was only
(27:01):
15 years old when it happened.
It was a complete shock to thefamily, thank you.
He was mowing the lawn outsidein our new home in the backyard.
He had all these dreams andplans for himself and my mom to
travel the world when he retired, and all the things that he
would tell us all the time thathe wanted to do.
But he was so busy trying tobuild this life through his work
(27:23):
that he didn't ever get achance to do it.
And it wasn't until I realizedthat I faced that for myself.
It's only when you go through aloss or a tragedy or something
really big happens in your lifethat can shift your entire
perspective and for me, thatshifted my perspective to
realize I don't want to waittill I'm retired to do these
(27:43):
things.
I don't want to wait till I'm inmy 60s and then I may not have
the energy or the ability or Imay not even get that time.
Like who knows, nothing'sguaranteed in life.
And when you start to face thereality of all of us are going
to face that one day, and that'sthe one thing that we know for
certain is that we're not hereforever.
Then you start to put thingsinto perspective, to realize it
(28:04):
is up to us to make our ownlives beautiful every single day
and to live them in a way thatfeels fulfilling, and to do the
things that matter, and to putwork into perspective.
And, yes, we want to make animpact and work To me.
I work a lot, but I've made mybusiness my mission, and so
they're intertwined andintegrated.
Where I'm now talking about thethings that I love, and so when
(28:26):
I am promoting my book or I'mtalking about an event, or I'm
hosting an event, I'm bringingto life the values that I so
strongly believe in, and so I'mable to live out that purpose,
which has been a reallybeautiful flow circle moment for
me.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I love that.
You're absolutely right.
Sometimes it takes horriblethings and big tragedies in your
life to put everything intoperspective, tragedies in your
life to put everything intoperspective.
But I love that you are makingthat your mission in life and
helping other people kind oftake a beat.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Thank you.
And, yeah, I don't want peopleto have to face those tragedies
to learn those lessons.
And that's exactly why Icommunicate the message, because
I'm like I don't want you tohave to go through a loss or
something tragic, or somebodygets sick for you to stop and
realize, oh, loss or somethingtragic, or somebody gets sick,
for you to stop and realize, oh,when life is paused, that's
(29:17):
when I'm actually dealing withthe real things that happen in
life, because real stuff comesup that matters so much more
than the email that is waitingto be answered.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
A hundred percent.
Thank you so much, palak.
For anybody listening in theshow notes, I will have her
Instagram, your website, also alink to her book, which is
Beautiful Every Days, and you'llhave all the contact for you to
get in touch with you or evenpick up your book, which I look
forward to reading because, lordknows, I need this in my life
(29:42):
more than ever.
But I appreciate thank you somuch for your time today.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh, thank you, Sabrina, I love chatting with
you.
Thanks so much.
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