August 15, 2025 • 47 mins
And just like that, a shit-tastic ending to another bad season. It could have been so much better. Stefanie and Cecily are riled up and they have a lot of opinions but be warned, this episode is dirty.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Uh oh, hey, hi everybody, it's me Cecily Nobler here
with Sarah, Jessica Parker and Stephanie Wilder, Taylor and Names
and Saba for part two of the last episode of Bed.
(00:29):
Just like that ever of the whole series. This is
like the old shebang. And I really hope you go
back if you didn't listen to part one of this,
because like, really it got so filthy. We talked about
the roster things, I mean really kind of embarrassingly, so
my fault always, but we actually have to put like
(00:50):
a thing on it.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I have to.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It was bad for sure, so to go back. And
Veranda pegged Brady, which learned about advising. Yeah, that was
insane to teach him how to peg. Why did she
do that? That's just seems like and she's upset with.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Steve for not like his parenting. But you pegged your
own son.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That was a banana that you strapped on, which he no. Sorry,
Cynthia exhausted. God, okay, God, it just gets worse like that.
Do you have any any macro notes for the second half,
For the second fifteen minutes of this episode, there's a bit,
(01:32):
but yet there's a lot of notes a lot of shit. Literally,
shit goes down. Oh my god, this says the worst
send off. I can't I'm trying to think if there's
been a other than Seinfeld. It was a really bad
send off. So bad, so another show.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
This, okay, this, here's the problem, which we have said many,
many times, the tone is all over the place with
this show. You have a moment that's kind of like touching,
also funny, but also kind of touching here and there
once in a while, maybe once a show, and then
you just have like camp but it's supposed to be kind.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Of played for realism. It has This show has no heart,
is the problem. No, it's off. It's in some of
the worst ideas and writing like this net. This first
scene that we're getting into, okay, because we've covered this
is they're getting ready for Thanksgiving and Harry just runs
into the scene like it's sitcom, Like he just opened
the door like a hellet, Like he's what's his name,
Like he's uh from Enrold No or yes, Kramer, He's
(02:37):
like he's Kramer. He's glides in, he slides in his
socks and he goes I'm hard.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Also, why would he be like so we're are we
are we to believe that he's just been working on
this project, which is just like, Okay, I've been watching
porn like twenty four to seven, just waiting for because
he does say he's like, I'm trying to get a
rise out of you know, I'm trying to get some
realc from my cock. So is he Are we supposed
(03:03):
to believe that while she's slaving away making a turkey,
he's just like watching porn.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Constant porn with his kids there, which, by the way,
was a whole storyline in Sex and the City when
she was married to Trey, although, to be fair, so
Trey couldn't get it up like he had he had
like ed and then there was a scene where he
is excited and gets hard and she goes in and
she sees like these jugs magazine, So he's like whacking
off to this porn right, and she's so mad, and
it's the whole episode, Oh my god, how dare you?
(03:29):
And here Harry's just casually like I'm just I'm watching
like real and appropriate porn, old people, the craziest shit
you've ever seen, and I still can't get hard. Charlotte,
what's that one, there's the one magazine that's like with
really old people. He's just watching that and she's like,
oh my god, Harry, are you a try too older ladies?
(03:52):
Are you not attract lady? Because I'm not seventy five?
And that's basically like what it is. And by the way,
I will never take listen for when we have to
fill out this episode a little bit. And two I've
said this on board a f but I cannot mention
jugs without letting you guys know that I was asked
to pose in jugs, Like you have to tell that
(04:13):
story really quick, really quick. Lives people haven't heard that story.
Well some yeah, there's some crossover. And I'm sorry that
you have to see this. But when I was little
hear this. I was in my twenties and I was
living in West Hollywood in this like studio apartment that
had but it had like a lot of like I
don't know, there was something kind of it was kind
of expensive but also kind of skivy at the same time.
(04:35):
It was like Kings and Melrose right and in. We
had a big lot of people live there, and Puck
from the Real World was always there. I don't know
if he lived there, but we had a pool and
he was always at the pool. He features in this
story Puck is he was yeah, he was there, Yeah,
so he Okay. So my parking spot was next to
(04:55):
this like red corvette or something that had the so
the life since play was jugs and I never really
thought anything of it. I really didn't. I was just like,
that's so La bros. And I was pretty new. And
one day we parked at the same time and this
like really old gross guy got out and he's like, hey,
oh you, I see you around tat, I see you
around here. I'm Al And I'm like, hi, Al, and
(05:17):
he goes, yeah, I run magazine. It's kind of it's like,
you know, but it's it's jugs, big tits. You know,
it's pretty famous. You want to do it? I'm not
even joking. I was like, no, thanks, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I mean a lot of people would have killed for,
you know, that opportunity, for the two hundred dollars that
Al Goldstein was going to pay me.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Oh my god? Is that? Did you ask how much
it pay? Said? But I think I asked, like a
friend in the building, I'm like, what do you think
i'd get for that. He's like a couple hundred bucks.
I wasn't going to do it, and I'm very glad
that I didn't. I would have absolutely thought about it.
I did not think about it. I didn't even think
about it, and I was pretty poor. Wow, how did
(05:57):
you not even like slightly consider it? I don't know.
It just was like so I was so like still
so Texas, you know what I mean. I was like,
my word, no, thank you. I'm flattered. Yeah, but al
Goldstein have somehow, and so he he wanted to see him,
like he didn't even like to see, you know whatever,
(06:17):
my little sweater was see that. And then he and
Puck used to lay out at the pool, and so,
what a weird you guy come home from like doing
stand up or whatever, trying to get to my studio
apartment that had a mouse. I mean, there's all kinds
of things going on, and it was just Alan Puck
laying out. Look it up. So what a what a world?
(06:39):
What a life? All right?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So, so Charlotte Harry's hard. Harry's hard, and Charlotte's like, oh,
let's go in the bedroom and fuck right.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Away with the kids right there by the way.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
And she's cooking. She's like in the middle of cooking
Thanksgiving dinner. So I guess that's I don't know, pard
of marriage.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Because I go fuck. And then here's like, oh, the
turkey needs based or they had some weird thing that
said to the kids, and then we're gonna go show
gratitude or we're gonna go yeah, yeah, it's something like that,
we gotta go bang whatever. And then the kid with
Lily who.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Don't forget hasn't been in a few episodes. Remember, Lily
was not anywhere near the episode about suddenly modern Milliy.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Definally didn't pay her. But then we're gonna gonna make
it look like she had tons of pictures of rock
later in a site, which made no sense.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Even though one hundred percent she wasn't at that play,
right right, Yeah, so weird, Okay, I guess yeah, I'm
still back on my notes because I got so into
the story. I'm like, okay, a Adam, not a Thursday.
She's special, She's a lifetime that's so funny. Okay, Yeah,
we have.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Moved on to Carrie their pies.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yes, and so now that woman got another like under
five the lady who you say, say is a good actress.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I didn't say she's a good actress, but I think
she's a funny, like median type person. She's been in stuff.
I've seen her around town, you know, but so like
she was in jugs. Give her her due, But it
made no sense that she's going around like, here's my
pie for Charlotte, and then so she drops that off
like she's going to be doing all over town. One
(08:19):
person lives downtown, one's on the east side, Like, what
are you doing? Used to get Apple twitters or whatever?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
The fuck?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And I just want to say, because this is just
so ridiculous. So everybody's canceled. Everyone's canceled on Miranda, which
really sucks if you think about it, which I thought
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It really sucks.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
So they're gonna get rewarded for sucking by like her
bringing them. Hey, hey, you bailed on Miranda because you're
just like a pretty bad friend, especially Charlotte, who had
no excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Charla and Miranda don't seem to get along, That's what
I That seems to be one of the somebody decided
that along the way they used to be sort of
friends because of Carrie. But I don't think that like,
Charlotte doesn't seem to like Miranda, but she like what
we remember, she said something like fuck Miranda. She said that.
I love that was true. I feel like they both
(09:14):
they were both mad at each other, like they don't
they just don't seem to have anything in common those two. Okay,
that actually that actually makes sense? Then, yeah, and I
liked that Charlotte didn't go. You know how I felt
about that, Like, let Harry fucking chill out with his
family and not go to the nightmare of a Thanksgiving
that it turned out to be. He was right, Yeah,
(09:34):
I guess. So for some reason, Carrie gives Sema her
pie in a car like two cars passing in the day, like, hey,
my car is going to be going by this way,
so let me give it to you. That made no sense. Yeah,
and then what what's Sema doing? So Seema's going to sisters? Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, so she's going to Okay, So I guess Adam
couldn't come to Miranda's because he doesn't really believe in Thanksgiving,
but she's going with him, Okay. So then oh, then
she drops one off to Anthony, which is going to
be the quickest wrap up of a storyline ever so sad.
(10:14):
So Anthony is like Anthony earlier, let's just remind everybody
because this has to come up later.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Anthony out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
So he's in love with Giuseppe, but all of a sudden,
he's like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I don't know. It's moving too fast, Like I don't
think I want to marry him. Why oh?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And then yeah, and then he's like, oh, he wants
some he wants a mother. He's got mother issues. Okay,
So now Anthony's like, yeah, uh oh, thanks for the
pie because I got to tell him. I got to
tell him that you know about my feelings, how my
feelings have changed for him, like before we eat, I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Right, we got to do it at home. We can't
do this at Miranda, So I'm going to cancel as
well on this shitty thing. So yeah, that all happens.
So then we get so then so we go to
Miranda's right, and and Randon Marian did like Joy isn't
coming because she's got a sick dog. I wanted to
punch Miranda in the face like twenty seven times, like
to try to say that. She was like, I don't
(11:07):
know all of a sudden, she has a sick dog.
Fuck you, Miranda, yep, seriously, And so then there's no
hold on. I'm going to push back.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I'm going to push back, like for a second, because
it's possible that Joy was just that I could see
Miranda being a little bit paranoid because their last interaction
was with Brady being crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's fair, I guess, but I mean they've gotten close. Also,
these two might not be right for each Other's plugging
a giant bottle of gin around and like, can I
store this in your cabinet? Right, there's my gin that
I stored in your cabinet, Like, maybe this isn't the
person for you. I don't like kids. I mean, yeah,
I don't know that Miranda is the one for her no,
(11:49):
and vice versa. Yeah, Randa will do anybody though, like
she doesn't care.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
So then Carrie makes a good point and she's like, hey, Miranda,
maybe you should call Joy, yeah and find out what's
actually going on, like good news or bad news. So
Miranda's like, oh, all right.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
And then immediately does it and comes out of the
room like, well, her dog's really sick and I gotta
go yes, everybody, and Brady's like, what, yes, that was
sit commy.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It's sit commy at the most sitcom at like no
heart in this show, just like there was nothing gotta
go right now, I've got to run. Her dog is
now she's at the clinic. So now her dog has
gone from it swallowed something to it's in surgery. Mid surgery.
She runs to the clinic like Billy Crystal chasing after
what's her.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Name in the rain? Yeah, Meg Ryan in the rain.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She runs to the clinic and then she burst in
and then Joy's like what are you doing here? She's
like I had to come be with you because you
couldn't be alone, because that's the theme.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Nobody can be alone except Carrie, I guess. Then we
go back to the apartment. This is where it's going
to take a turn that we've never seen before on television.
We get a do or Not and it's a trio
of just absolute morons.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Oh my god, I was when I tell you how
mad I was. I don't know if I've ever been
this mad.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I felt insulted on my levels, yeah, and like assaulted.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
So it's Mia the Brady's pregnant, terrific human of a person.
Then it's a very over the top, like you're trolling us.
Gay man guy couldn't be more like Sylvio, who's super
like effeminate. Then there seems to be a trans woman
with them. His name is Epcot because apparently anybody who's
(13:41):
like trans or non binary or has to be like
the biggest fucking asshole on the planet, because I guess,
I guess nobody who's trans or gay is just a
normal person.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Nobody I don't exists, not even Anthony, not even anybody,
not even really Stanford, if you go back, he was
always wearing like gen suits, right, you know, I mean,
which is fine, nothing wrong with the green suit listen,
But there's so mean. So they come in, these morons, yes,
the worst people ever, and there's so mean to like,
and immediately immediately they're like, well, Sylvio's like, well she
(14:15):
doesn't look crazy. And then it's like, well, this isn't
the mother then the what I thought was a true
woman because they have very long, pretty hair that's like
kind of shaved on the side.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
They're wearing kind of a girly outfit. Okay, so here's
what I would do. I would say, what, oh, what's
your what are your pronouns because that's what you do, right,
But that person is also like, uh oh oh, he's
a ginger too. Epcot says that to uh yeah, Epcot
(14:50):
says that to Bradyo. Silvio says that he doesn't look crazy,
and then Epcot is is like, oh no, he's a ginger.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Oh no, it's so awful, So why why.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
If you have like this to me? This is just
like this is why they hate us, Like this is why.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
They well that, and also like why as a show,
why are they bringing in three new characters for five minutes? Right?
And one of them's Epcot is like, my parents are
Disney freaks. My parents. Then then Mia, I don't know
where It's like, yeah, I'm They're like, would you like
some cheese? I'm lactose intolerant. I only eat seaweed.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
No, Epcot's lactose intolerant, and Mia, for no reason, not
because they're lactose intolerant me is just.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Like I don't eat that, right, And then Rady goes,
what what do you eat? I only eat seaweed and
cucumber and brown rice, and then you yeah, yeah, And
then the other guy, Sylvio, Oh, so basically she's like, yeah, no,
no wine for me. I'm pregnant obviously, And then the
(15:57):
other guy goes, uh, Sylvia goes, I'll take some strawberry
short I'll take I'll take some strawberry shortcake. What the
fuck is this guy? The guys they invited you to
fucking Thanksgiving? Who talks like that? How is that acceptable?
And why do you have to make the lgbt Q
characters horrible assholes? Why was Jay.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
The most absolute, unlikable, horrible person. Why why the most
scoldy scold in interviews on the show as a character,
Like why are you?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Are you showing us these characters?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
So then Sylvio is like, also, bitch, I'm starving. No
fucking talks like that. I'm so mad, Okay, So then Epcot.
Then Epcot says, I'm lactose intolerant. Okay, that's gonna set
something up, which is the worst thing we've ever seen.
Then knock, knock, there's somebody else at the door. Oh,
(16:56):
it's Mark from past seasons. He's been on Sex and
the City befo for I believe I'm the gallery owner.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Right, Yeah, maybe he wasn't on Sex and the City.
But the whole thing was that he's been married a
few times. He's an old and I kind of don't
like the way they play him to be so terrible.
Why is he terrible, Carrie? Because he's been married a
couple of times. You've been married and had like long
relationships before. Yeah, so like because he's like the joke
seemed to be that because he was too old, which
(17:23):
I thought was very age just and rude.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
He's not, oh and so kind of sweet. He's never
been very pushy. There's not even a little him.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It's not his fault. Charlotte was Charlotte's idea. She's like,
oh my god, Carrie single, now you should go. And
he brought a bottle of wine. He's like, Oh, I'm
so glad that you're here. And he's they're so mean
to him. He couldn't have been nicer, I know, and
he so then he says, uh, yeah, the thing about
the Disney freak and then but he says it too
or when Mark Mark is just like oh yeah, like is.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
It Mark that says like like Epcot Center, Oh, you're.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Kind of like, oh Epcot is like yeah, my parents
for Disney Freaks.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, but in kind of like a fuck you like yeah,
it's just really weird. So then then Miranda shows up
at the brand, shows up all right, oh yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,
so she hadn't shown up, so now she's at the
clinic and I guess I skipped.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well we already well we kind of uh yeah, you
kind of got ahead of yourself. So first, before we
get to that, Brady looks just like nuts. He's like
losing his mind. But the actor's eyes are all like googlely,
like he's just gone crazy, and he's like, oh, I
gotta go get some seaweed. I guess no, you don't.
You don't have to. What are you talking about? Why
would you all tell me?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Why would he possibly do that when, especially when Mia
is just being such a.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Cuse, Why would you say to Carrie, hey, don't let
the turkey burn. You know this person, this is like
your godmother. She's never hooked anything in her life, right,
don't don't leave that in her. You don't have to.
Where are you going to go to get seaweed? Such
a stupid like made up sitcom bullshit thing, right, And
then of course we know it's gonna burn because of course, right,
and now I wrote at this point, they what the
(19:14):
show should do is have a tsunami that just out
of nowhere, a tsunami hits the whole town and this
everyone gets wiped out like that, hold on, I love
that idea. Write it down. That is amazing and not
other people like I don't want collateral damage. Just the cast, Yes,
(19:39):
wiped out and we don't even have to So then okay,
so Miranda.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Shows up at the clinic and Joy is like, what
are you doing here? And she's and then Miranda goes,
how could I just leave you? Well you could, Miranda,
because you are like that. But anyway, She's like, it's
a simple procedure, but I had to sign a paper
and like you know that my dog could die. And okay,
(20:02):
before you even this, this could.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Have been a moment.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
First of all, that's a really scary moment. Your dog
is having emergency surgery. You've had to sign this paper.
This is like your child, right right? How about something
connecting to the idea that Joy is like that, Miranda
really realizes like this is her baby, Like right, she
really is connected, she can connect, but like this is
(20:28):
her family, and this is what she like, something a
little deeper than just like the guy coming right out
and going everything's fine, right, like immediately immediately. I just
didn't understand, Like this is the problem with introducing a
thousand new characters in twelve episodes.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Right, Okay, So then we go back to Carrie, who
pulls out the turkey. She's like, does it look golden brown?
He's like, it does to me. Mark doesn't know he's
in New york Er. He doesn't cook. He's like, I
don't know, but he's being I think he's lovely. I'm
not saying I would want to go out with them,
or that Carrie should want a date him, but the
way that she was treating him was so mean, and
it's like we miss something. Unless he always made it
(21:07):
like really young. Maybe he's just skivy. I don't know,
but the actor wasn't playing. He reminded me of a
little of like Alan Alda in like a movie that
Alan Alda would be in, yes, where he was just
swirling the wine a little bit, and he's like a
professor and Woody Allan, you know what I mean. Like
it just it was like he's not that bad.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Well, yeah, so this is this is the part where
because then there's a knock on the door and at Charlotte, right,
and for no reason, why would Charlotte cancel on Thanksgiving?
But then come over you've got the time to come,
then come in for a few minutes.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
But she's like, no, I can't even stay.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Why because Harry is such like a slave driver that
you need to come right back home?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
And can she get there the subway? It's not that
easy to get to all these places in New York, Like,
it's not like they live in Waco and they just
can get in their car and drive five minutes over right,
It's kind of a hassle. Like, so she has the
stuff and she's like, oh, no, I forgot I invited Mark.
How would you forget that? How would you forget that?
And then Carrie's like, can I come talk to you
for a second? Oh my god. She's like, Harry, you're alone?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
First of all, Mark, can hear you during that? Yes? Yes,
he's right there. It's like a small apartment.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, And she and Charlotte's like, but you said you
were so worried that there is not a man for you,
that you're going to be all alone. There is a man,
and he's smart and cultured, and Carrie goes, he's been
married three times, right.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Well, you've been married once and almost twice. Actually, it
was almost to aiden like a couple of different times.
You've accepted many a proposal exactly. So that was kind
of crazy. Okay. So then so it's just really crazy
to me that Charlotte is just like, I got to
get right back to Harry. He just and she even
is like, oh my god, he had sex. We had sex,
(22:49):
like he's and she goes, are you mad at me
because we had sex? No, none of that matters the fuck? Okay,
So then the worst Then it gets worse because then
the kids start dancing. We caught in the friends start
sans dancing like he's in a go go club in
a cage, and he's like yeah, and me is like,
yes girl, yes, leg queen. Okay, who had nobody behaves
(23:14):
like that. I've there's never been a more awful care
I really honestly can't think of anythingmore.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And then I almost got sex with Marcus because he's
like not Marcus Mark gallery owner, because he's like pouring
the last, the last step of the wine in his glass.
I was like, this guy, we would have been bonding
with him. We would have been exchanging so many looks,
drinking another, just have another, Like he finished the bottle
of wine. He didn't go like what the fuck is
(23:40):
going on here?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
People? He tried to be they were awful and he
was like where's the wine? Like he tried to stay
calm the whole time. Yep, he's he's the hero that
we just met. Yeah, and a whole the end of
the thing. So then Epcot is like, I gotta go
to the bathroom, and you know what, would have been
so cute.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Honestly, if if if Carrie does have a moment with
Mark where there is even the slightest possibility just where
it's like, oh, she's you know what I mean, because
she's always after these guys that are not like a
normal guy, right, Like imagine if Mark, she's is somebody
she would have always overlooked because he's just kind of
(24:19):
like an older guy who's like normal. And if they
have a moment where they're looking at each other and
neither one of them has been like what the fuck
is going out with these people? But they just like
he pours her a little more wine and they have
a moment yes.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And like oh we never saw this person coming. That's
so interesting, right, not him, but somebody like that something
like that.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Just to show that there's like hope that she's not
always going to only go after like guys that are
difficult or unavailable, right.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Either they're unavailable in the way that big ones or
they're just like the kind of I mean, she only
liked to Aiden back in the day because he was
good looking, Like she cheated on him when he had
long hair and was kind of heavy and only wanted
to get together with him when he like worked out
and cut his hair. And then she's like, yeah, I'm sorry,
it's not because you look good though. I miss you
now you do, right, But okay, so Epcot goes into
(25:10):
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
This is just well, first, before that happens, Miranda shows up,
Marianda and Sylvia. Sylvia is just dancing around the house
like a crazy person, right, and.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
The music turned really loud, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
And then and then Miranda's like, yeah, I was just
helping like my girlfriend, like with her dog.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
And then Mia goes, I like dogs, but right, no,
just happy that she has a girlfriend. She goes, that's cool.
She's very happy because she likes Remember, She's like, oh,
that's cool. Yeah, and then she's like yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Then she goes, yeah, I had a dog, but like
somebody like left the door open and it ran away,
which is supposed to be foreshadowing for like you're gonna
be a horrible bother.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and then we have and we'll never see it,
thank god.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I guess I like, why would you introduce okay, so
that that's your ending to the season, even if you
didn't know, like, let alone the whole season, it's just like, okay,
so he's stuck with this horrible person.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Like the worst person that's ever been on any show. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
So that's when Epcot's like, where's your bathroom? I really
need it?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh and oh so then this part made me mad.
So then Carrie says something about Epcot and goes, yeah,
it's Epcot, like the center, and then goes his parents
were big Disney fans. Okay, that well, why would you
say his first of all to me? Like from the
moment that we met Epcot, I was like, Epcot's a
(26:37):
trans woman. But so it almost seemed insulting that if
you're going to go out of your way and this
is this would have been a macronote, but I wanted
to get to this part so I could rant for
a minute.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
If you're gonna be hit.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Us over the head with woke the whole time, then
at the part where it would actually be appropriate to
be woke and go, what.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Are your pronouns? You're just going to assume that Epcot's
a heat? Yeah. I was very confused by that. I
was like, wait, what, yeah, because honestly, I didn't even
read I mean I when I I watched it twice,
So the second time I read Epcot as trans yeah.
The first time I read Epcot as female, like just
(27:19):
full like, so I didn't even That was so confusing
to me. And then Carrie said that. I was like,
oh wait, okay, but then why would she say that?
And why would you?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
So are we to assume that you already asked the pronouns?
But let's say we're to assume that, and that Carrie
is not just an asshole who's misgendering somebody probably Okay,
why wouldn't you show that scene?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Like, if we've had so much of rock, I just
was like, oh, are we weirdly like conservative all of
a sudden, like right now, we can't just ask somebody
what their pronouns are.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I was really mad. Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So then Brady comes out, so he.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I don't even think we mentioned that. Yeah, we did mention.
He went out to go get seaweed and cucumber. So
Brady comes out, He's like, well, I hope everyone likes
seaweed and cucumber because the turkey's raw. So then, oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
So Brady sees that Mia is eating cheese. She's she's
you told me, you warned me. You're like, this woman
that Brady got pregnant is one of the worst women
you've ever seen, one of the worst characters you've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Ever it's ever been written. I don't think you did
it justice though. No, it was more than that. It
was more than that. I wait, isn't she the daughter
who who's her parents? Is that Ben Stiller's kid? Ben
Stiller and yes and Christina Taylor? How did that go
so wrong? How did they make that? Well?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Maybe she's a good actress. I mean that's what was
written for her. That's the writer's that's not her fault.
Now you storm off, you just say no, you have
your dad come in. He's got to have looked at
the script and like, just like, you're not doing this.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
You can't do this. This is just embarrassing. It's embarrassing
for the Stiller name. So in my opinion, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yes, And let's not forget that I had a really
big crush on Ben Stiller many years ago.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I'm so it's so your type. Yeah, but he's supposed
to be an asshole. I'm so totally an asshole. Yes,
but that I can one hundred percent see that. Okay,
So then EPCOT Yeah, now okay, wait wait wait wait,
So then Brady sees me as eating cheese and she's like,
why are you eating cheese?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
And then I thought, you can't have it? Why was
I running all over it?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Oh? And then she he goes, why did.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I run all over Chinatown looking for seaweed and stuff
for you? And Mia goes, again, that's on you. I
didn't ask you to do that. Wouldn't you have like
seriously kicked her in the ovaries at this point and
just sent her on her way?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yeah, who does not have to find that would be
a more interesting show that they like try to find
someone to kill her. Branda has to go to Miranda
like and then Branda gets caught doing it, and she
insists on defending herself and like Ted Bundy yes, and then
the whole thing becomes like a courtroom drama of her
just like Pace. She's like, you're on her, Yeah, I
address the jury.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
And Joy like won't stand up for her. Joys like,
I don't know. I mean she was at the clinic,
but then I didn't see her after that.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I don't know. And they're like and they're like, yeah,
I have an alibi, and Joy will tell you, and
she like points to Joy. She's like is that Joy,
Like you know it's Joy. Why are you asking the question?
She's defending herself, and then Joy's like, yeah, I don't
want any part in this. I yeah, oh my god.
She she always said, Joy, do you see the do
(30:38):
you see the defendant in this courtroom? Joy's like yeah,
it's like you you're the defendant. Sorry, I wasn't asking that.
That was not like like it's just so obviously that
she did it. She like had her cell phone with
her the whole time. Her fingerprints are all over like
all the things everything. They're like, you said you you
(30:59):
even admitted it in the confession. They caught you red handed,
you brought you into the station. You're like, I did
it all it was seeing red and now you're saying
you didn't do it. What a waste of everybody's tide?
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Okay, so so then so then uh basically all right,
So MIA's just being a bitch and Brady goes.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
You know, whatever.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
She doesn't so she doesn't care, so Brady goes whatever.
Then somebody says, yeah, like Miranda.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Doesn't seem crazy out of nowhere, Sylvia probably Silvio. Yeah,
they're being crazy. They're being horrible, and they're like, she
doesn't seem crazy. And then Mia is like, yeah, like
you shouldn't disrespect your mom. Oh, because that's when Brady's
oh yeah, goes yeah, she's crazy. This is all crazy.
He gets mad, rightfully, so and she's like you shouldn't
(31:57):
talk to your mom like that. She's trying to do
a good thing. He's like, mom, that blocked you on
Facebook and she's like I said that in confidence. Now
what is this conversation? Like what are they talking about? Right? Well,
when you never get into that, like it doesn't matter
and why Apparently.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
It was like a one night or like two time
stand so like, you guys are having deep talks about
her relationship with her mom. Okay, So then Epcot comes
out of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Oh and goes, does anybody have any matches that the
lock pose? That cheese really got to me? What the
what is this? I was just absolutely completely utterly mortified.
I had never I was sick. I like was like
eating like something, and I was like I can't finish this.
So yes, the worst. So then they have a converse.
(32:42):
So then this is when Mark goes into they did
they leave? Yeah? Yeah, they leave. So everybody leaves and
then Carrie says to Miranda like everybody's left, and you know,
Miranda's like, well, Mark's still here waiting. So yeah, he's
in the bathroom and they chart peeing like aggressively for
no reason either. It was like this isn't an indie film,
but in a minute, But first Carrie has to be
(33:04):
kind of mean, and she's like, yeah, I guess he's
still here. Now I'm going to have to let him
take me. He's he's going to come out of the.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Bathroom and he's going to be like, oh can I
take you home?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Oh? Yeah? What an asshole? Carrie?
Speaker 3 (33:17):
What a terrible, terrible thing that he's going to be
a gentleman and say can I give you a left home?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Right? And then they hate him because he has a plane. Yeah,
what are you doing? Okay? So then you know where's Duncan?
Where the fuck is Duncan?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Right?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Okay, so it doesn't matter. So then he peas for
like seven minutes. We only have thirty minutes here for
the literally of the entire thing, right.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
But now, guess what we have to have a side
story about Mark, the character Mark, which, yes, would I
have liked it if they had a moment together and
it was like, oh, there's still hope for Carrie, maybe
not this guy, but somebody she's going to find in
the future.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Would have been great.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
But no, instead of that, it's just a another side
storyline involving disgusting.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Now, first of all, let's talk about what the props
people had to do for this. So he peas and
he goes to flush, but the flush doesn't go down
because the epcot epcot is like backed up the toilet
so much that they literally show a piece of shit
swirling around and coming up out of the toilet. Oh,
what is this train spotting? Like what are we doing here? Which? Shit?
What is this? Is there a baby on the ceiling?
(34:22):
I mean this is what is it? Like a candy
they put with like a twig spar Yeah? What the
fuck was that? And then it's more poop. Then he
looks at it and he's horrified, as you would be, right,
because he's like, I was just peeing that I would
smell like either also in this house that they're acting
like it doesn't smell. No, one's like Harry's not like
I'm out of here. No, she's just in the bathroom
(34:43):
watching Miranda, and it's like scrub it up. But we'll
get there.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
And then all this poop they have to make it
like the most gross. Meanwhile, there are like four minutes
left in the in the in the finale of this
the whole show, right, and we have to watch like ten.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Pieces of poop floating around in a toilet. I mean
that's about right. I also thought that we could call
this when Shit Happens, because Carrie does they say that,
yeah it happens, or did it? So Mark has a
right to be upset. He comes out and he's upset,
and he's finally like, all right, goodbye, Sorry, i'man, this
is what happened, but yeah, I'll see myself out, which
he should have done hours ago. But he's trying to
(35:20):
wait for Carrie because like somebody told him that she
might be interested. Yeah's too good for Carrie anyway.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Uh okay, exactly, Like the poor guy. Nobody apologizes to him.
Nobody is like, I'm so sorry. First of all, Charlotte
never fucking showed up and she didn't really apologize to
him for that. Nobody's nice to him, and now he
has to go in there and have like a plumbing incident,
and he's just like, oh my god. And Carrie sits
(35:50):
there with this grin on her face like, yeah, I'm
so glad I don't have to deal with it now
I don't have to go home with him.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
It doesn't smell anything, and has the door just open
and she's just on the floor scrubbing shit out. And
then Joy comes over and she's like, eh, Miranda's on
her knees. But it's not for any good reason or
some ship like that. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah,
the Joy's like, well, that's just our relationship.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Like right before that, Miranda says, Miranda's like yeah, Joy's
uncomfortable with families, and now she might have a baby
coming into her life. And then knock knock, knock, knock.
Oh god, it's Joy. I guess she's not really afraid
of family. Oh because because the dog ate a lego
that it found at like the park.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Right, that's why I don't like kids, but I understand family.
Like all of a sudden, she has an epiphany that
she wants to be with the shit scrubber. I wouldn't
want to be, but nobody should want to be part
of this. But also, you you don't like kids because
of legos? Like what? Right? That doesn't make sense? So
again this is this is insane. So she enjoys start
(36:54):
to have this like kind of real conversation, I guess,
and then Carrie just leaves with no goodbye. It's Thanksgiving.
She spent five to six hours at her friend Miranda's
and doesn't say all right, I'm out guys. Nope, she
just like, thank you for baking dinner, right, I'm out,
doesn't just leaves, just leaves, no goodbye. That's it. No
(37:16):
goodbye to her friend Miranda, who she's been on a
show with for twenty plus years. Yeah, no, hug. There
could have been a moment like what good front, like
look at this kind of friendship, like what we've been
through nothing, Hey, I'm really sorry I was a dick
to you about Duncan.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yeah, And I was gonna say, like that could have
been a nice moment, like while they're sitting there, she
could have been like, you know, I've been meaning to
say something that wasn't cool sometimes I sometimes I take
you for grand yeah, and you know you've been such
a good friend something anything.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
But no, we get nothing. And so she comes home
to her mansion.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
How about Carrie gets an appreciation, that sudden appreciation for
her friends, realizing like, oh I might be alone, right,
and like my friends all kind of have partners, and
maybe I've kind of taken them for granted, yes, and
been sort of a dick, and maybe I need to
show them that I care about them.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
No, none of that. No, she sneaks out, just silently
goes home to her mansion, notices the karaoke Remember I
was like, they better pay off this karaoke thing because
they had all scene for no reason that Miranda's like,
what's that karaoke machine still doing there? Like anybody would
say that, But that's only to set up that there
she is, she's going to turn it on and then
kind of dance she salt burns around her fucking house,
(38:34):
you know I'm talking about. Yeah. I was surprised she
didn't like, just like tuck it under and just start
naked dancing. What if they did just have her naked
dancing down the hallway doing lines of coke? When she
just salt burned around? I was like, what now is happening?
Speaker 3 (38:48):
But also why didn't she she's turning on the karaoke machine?
You know, this bitch has some like really nice speakers
in her house, right with like to play proper music.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Why wouldn't she? Like I thought it would.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Have been cute if she started singing, Yeah, I did
karaoke by herself, by yourself, that would be cute.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
That's something that's a strange thing to do alone. Why right? Not? Yes?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
And if she's like, hey, I'm alone in my house,
who's here to see me?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I don't have to feel self conscious. I'm gonna sing karaoke.
That would be cute. She was gonna take her heels
off for a second, but remembered I have no one
to take my heels off. Girl, you should take your
like you're scratching up your floors. You made a big
deal about Miranda like doing anything when she stayed with
you for two days when her met out neighbor, which
we never dealt with again. She just got out of
(39:33):
that real fat. You know how easy it is to
move in New York. M hmm. Then but now, yeah, no,
leave the shoes on. That's great. So then we cut
to Giuseppi. Now this is gonna be like a five
second end to this character. Yeah, for an entire twenty
five years. Yes, And Joseppe's mad because they've had a
conversation that we didn't even see, no knew about. But
(39:54):
he was like, so you think that you maybe don't
want to me because maybe I would be like his
son you and you'd have to be like a popa
and you don't want to be a papa. And he's like, yeah,
I don't want to And then he just puts a
pie in a pie in your face. I did not
that to say in English, so I do like it
(40:14):
is hey, and then and thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I was like, oh, and then you're gonna be like
just kidding friend.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
They laugh, like not cleaning this. I love you. I lie, Yeah,
I just Lieah. So that's the end of that. How
were you? I was sitting there with my mouth. I
was like, are you mean to tell me that Giuseppe
had like an under five in this episode? Fucking Epcot
got more lines in this episode than Giuseppe? And then
(40:49):
and Anthony probably and it's been on the show since
episode one, since like day one or maybe you like
episode whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
If you're if you're Anthony, aren't you watching this? Just
go are you? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
With thee It's going to be mortified. I mean, they
probably all just want the money. They just took the money. Yeah,
they took the money. I mean they don't care. So Rock.
Then we go over to Rock, We're going to finish
that up, and Rock's like, I want to see all
the pictures that you took of me? And this made
no sense either. Charlotte's like, oh, I deleted them because
I didn't think why would you delete them on your
own phone? Right? We will never do that, and also
(41:24):
of this made me so mad. Rock goes like, as
though you're going to have this kind of insight at
this age. Rock's like, I'm going to be a lot
of people in my life. You don't even know that.
Speaker 3 (41:33):
Also, speaking as as the parent of a kid who
might have been like a rock, right, why would you
end the episode end it with like, oh what Charlotte
always wanted with basically Rock being like, yeah, probably not
trans or even not binary. I'm fine, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
I like her.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I'm really pretty now because did you notice that Rock's
hair was like super pretty now? And they're wearing makeup
and it's like, oh, so that's like your happy.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Ending, Like, don't worry. Your kid didn't.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Stray too far. It's just a phase, mom. I'm gonna
I'm going to try a lot of different phases. I
thought that was the most anti woke.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It was like bullshit, kind of like, don't worry everybody.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
These kids they just go through phases. But like that's
not really who they are. They're really they're really a girl.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
And also they wouldn't say that themselves. You wouldn't write
that insight. You're not that self actualized. No, don't worry, mom. Yeah,
that was so ridiculous. So that's it. That's it for them.
We've had Charlotte in our lives since nineteen ninety eight. Yeah, okay,
so now Herbert we have to Herbert can eat again.
That's all we really have to say about that. And
he's very excited now that he's not running, he can eat.
He's so happy.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
And then and then, as if this makes up for
how he's been as a husband this whole time, he's like, oh,
you know what, honey, you go.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Put your feet up. Yeah, I'll do the dishes since you. Oh.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Oh okay, Herbert. So all this time you're just barking
at your wife about that she keeps pasta in the
house or that she doesn't have dinner on the table
right on time. But like this one night, you're gonna
do the dishes. Oh, marriage so great.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Oh I'm gonna get even madder as mad as you
just got this the last thing. Okay, So Carrie eats
some pie by herself, still in her giant tool oscar
de la Rena dress or whatever for no reason, and
a weird red glitter top that we never talked about. Yeah,
and it's looking out the window. Then we see Sema.
Just these are quick scenes. Seema is like, I don't
really miss gluten at all. Oh god, that's so funny
because Adam. He's so gluten free, such a vegan. I
(43:36):
get it. Then we just see Joy and Miranda. They're happy,
they're happily ever after. And now Carrie sits at her computer.
I lost my fucking mind, and she has epilogue and
she started writing it, but she erases it, and then
she starts writing, Great, she's got her cat too. Oh,
the cat's there on the bed. And she sits down
and she starts writing again, and she's like, this is
(43:56):
what she read. She says, the woman okay, okay. Just
because the woman was not alone, she was on her own,
that means nothing, nothing. What the fuck does that? I
like lost my mind. And then right when that happens,
then she saw burns down the hallway again. Then we
cut to the Sex and the City theme song. Yeah,
(44:19):
because it's like, well, let's give them what they really want,
A nonsensical line.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Oh, I don't think that was what they were doing.
I think on HBO it just goes to.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Like no, not on in just like that there, it
never does. I I watched I noticed that on it,
just like that, it doesn't go to that. It goes
to like usually songs, songs they've chosen Oh yeah, you're right,
it's not been that. This was the end. This was
the bow that they probably put in and they realized
yeah done, yeah yeah. And it reminded me of like
(44:49):
it was like such a burn that it felt like
Larry the Larry Day the Curb theme song, Yes, bomb bomb,
like you're like, oh wow, you got us, you sure
got woman was not alone, she was on her own.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Also, they show her erasing like the old epilogue, like
she's gonna write her new epilogue. But meanwhile, the old
epilogue was like three lines, right, so yes, I she
just so that's your new that's your epilogue. That's not
an epilogue. That's not how book writing works. If I
if I wrote epilogue and turn that into my publisher,
(45:24):
they'd be like, what is this the epilog?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Thing? Is this the epilogue? Is the woman was not alone,
she was on her own an epilogue, but yeah, I'm done.
I guess everybody should just burn their own books because
no one can compete with me. First of all, that
would just be a last line of a book. An
epilogue is like what comes after? Oh what, that's that's it?
(45:47):
Like I was I was like, okay, it's like they
had to write it in a night. It's like they're
like everybody were just battening down the hatches, like nobody
can leave. We're gonna we'll order tenchin for sure, everybody.
We will pay for Golden Time. I mean, it's just
the fucking worst thing I've ever seen. Yep. Yeah, and
that's that and just like that, and just like that,
(46:09):
it ended. And I'm a little bit sad because they
never fixed it. I'm sad. I just it's is like
one of the many things in our lives that we
just can't fix. I just deleted my notes on that episode, bhie.
I reminded the try wow, thank you for being on
this journey with us, and Sada says, thank you. It's sad.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
It's sad, a little bit of a sad week for
us though, because the valley ended and and just like
that ended.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
We'll get there. But don't worry, guys.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
I'm trying to talk Cecily into recapping Love is Blind UK.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Maybe I'm a soft gentle.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Probably talk her into it, guys, write to her, tell her,
tell her you want.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
That, okay, okay, And while you're doing that, I'm trying
to think. I'm like trying to think of something, like
something horrible that I can't it's not coming. I'm not
good at improv. It would be like the worst thing.
I'm like, Okay, and while we're doing that, tell Steph
that we have to go back to the first Southern
Charm first season when they were like a very racist.
(47:12):
She'll love it. She's gonna love she's gonna think it's
so fun. All Right, everybody, we love you for being here.
We love you. Thank you. Oh that's the other thing. Okay,
bye bye,
Uh oh, hey, hi everybody, it's me Cecily Nobler here
with Sarah, Jessica Parker and Stephanie Wilder, Taylor and Names
and Saba for part two of the last episode of Bed.
(00:29):
Just like that ever of the whole series. This is
like the old shebang. And I really hope you go
back if you didn't listen to part one of this,
because like, really it got so filthy. We talked about
the roster things, I mean really kind of embarrassingly, so
my fault always, but we actually have to put like
(00:50):
a thing on it.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I have to.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It was bad for sure, so to go back. And
Veranda pegged Brady, which learned about advising. Yeah, that was
insane to teach him how to peg. Why did she
do that? That's just seems like and she's upset with.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Steve for not like his parenting. But you pegged your
own son.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That was a banana that you strapped on, which he no. Sorry,
Cynthia exhausted. God, okay, God, it just gets worse like that.
Do you have any any macro notes for the second half,
For the second fifteen minutes of this episode, there's a bit,
(01:32):
but yet there's a lot of notes a lot of shit. Literally,
shit goes down. Oh my god, this says the worst
send off. I can't I'm trying to think if there's
been a other than Seinfeld. It was a really bad
send off. So bad, so another show.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
This, okay, this, here's the problem, which we have said many,
many times, the tone is all over the place with
this show. You have a moment that's kind of like touching,
also funny, but also kind of touching here and there
once in a while, maybe once a show, and then
you just have like camp but it's supposed to be kind.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Of played for realism. It has This show has no heart,
is the problem. No, it's off. It's in some of
the worst ideas and writing like this net. This first
scene that we're getting into, okay, because we've covered this
is they're getting ready for Thanksgiving and Harry just runs
into the scene like it's sitcom, Like he just opened
the door like a hellet, Like he's what's his name,
Like he's uh from Enrold No or yes, Kramer, He's
(02:37):
like he's Kramer. He's glides in, he slides in his
socks and he goes I'm hard.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Also, why would he be like so we're are we
are we to believe that he's just been working on
this project, which is just like, Okay, I've been watching
porn like twenty four to seven, just waiting for because
he does say he's like, I'm trying to get a
rise out of you know, I'm trying to get some
realc from my cock. So is he Are we supposed
(03:03):
to believe that while she's slaving away making a turkey,
he's just like watching porn.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Constant porn with his kids there, which, by the way,
was a whole storyline in Sex and the City when
she was married to Trey, although, to be fair, so
Trey couldn't get it up like he had he had
like ed and then there was a scene where he
is excited and gets hard and she goes in and
she sees like these jugs magazine, So he's like whacking
off to this porn right, and she's so mad, and
it's the whole episode, Oh my god, how dare you?
(03:29):
And here Harry's just casually like I'm just I'm watching
like real and appropriate porn, old people, the craziest shit
you've ever seen, and I still can't get hard. Charlotte,
what's that one, there's the one magazine that's like with
really old people. He's just watching that and she's like,
oh my god, Harry, are you a try too older ladies?
(03:52):
Are you not attract lady? Because I'm not seventy five?
And that's basically like what it is. And by the way,
I will never take listen for when we have to
fill out this episode a little bit. And two I've
said this on board a f but I cannot mention
jugs without letting you guys know that I was asked
to pose in jugs, Like you have to tell that
(04:13):
story really quick, really quick. Lives people haven't heard that story.
Well some yeah, there's some crossover. And I'm sorry that
you have to see this. But when I was little
hear this. I was in my twenties and I was
living in West Hollywood in this like studio apartment that
had but it had like a lot of like I
don't know, there was something kind of it was kind
of expensive but also kind of skivy at the same time.
(04:35):
It was like Kings and Melrose right and in. We
had a big lot of people live there, and Puck
from the Real World was always there. I don't know
if he lived there, but we had a pool and
he was always at the pool. He features in this
story Puck is he was yeah, he was there, Yeah,
so he Okay. So my parking spot was next to
(04:55):
this like red corvette or something that had the so
the life since play was jugs and I never really
thought anything of it. I really didn't. I was just like,
that's so La bros. And I was pretty new. And
one day we parked at the same time and this
like really old gross guy got out and he's like, hey,
oh you, I see you around tat, I see you
around here. I'm Al And I'm like, hi, Al, and
(05:17):
he goes, yeah, I run magazine. It's kind of it's like,
you know, but it's it's jugs, big tits. You know,
it's pretty famous. You want to do it? I'm not
even joking. I was like, no, thanks, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I mean a lot of people would have killed for,
you know, that opportunity, for the two hundred dollars that
Al Goldstein was going to pay me.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Oh my god? Is that? Did you ask how much
it pay? Said? But I think I asked, like a
friend in the building, I'm like, what do you think
i'd get for that. He's like a couple hundred bucks.
I wasn't going to do it, and I'm very glad
that I didn't. I would have absolutely thought about it.
I did not think about it. I didn't even think
about it, and I was pretty poor. Wow, how did
(05:57):
you not even like slightly consider it? I don't know.
It just was like so I was so like still
so Texas, you know what I mean. I was like,
my word, no, thank you. I'm flattered. Yeah, but al
Goldstein have somehow, and so he he wanted to see him,
like he didn't even like to see, you know whatever,
(06:17):
my little sweater was see that. And then he and
Puck used to lay out at the pool, and so,
what a weird you guy come home from like doing
stand up or whatever, trying to get to my studio
apartment that had a mouse. I mean, there's all kinds
of things going on, and it was just Alan Puck
laying out. Look it up. So what a what a world?
(06:39):
What a life? All right?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
So, so Charlotte Harry's hard. Harry's hard, and Charlotte's like, oh,
let's go in the bedroom and fuck right.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Away with the kids right there by the way.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
And she's cooking. She's like in the middle of cooking
Thanksgiving dinner. So I guess that's I don't know, pard
of marriage.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Because I go fuck. And then here's like, oh, the
turkey needs based or they had some weird thing that
said to the kids, and then we're gonna go show
gratitude or we're gonna go yeah, yeah, it's something like that,
we gotta go bang whatever. And then the kid with
Lily who.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Don't forget hasn't been in a few episodes. Remember, Lily
was not anywhere near the episode about suddenly modern Milliy.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Definally didn't pay her. But then we're gonna gonna make
it look like she had tons of pictures of rock
later in a site, which made no sense.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Even though one hundred percent she wasn't at that play,
right right, Yeah, so weird, Okay, I guess yeah, I'm
still back on my notes because I got so into
the story. I'm like, okay, a Adam, not a Thursday.
She's special, She's a lifetime that's so funny. Okay, Yeah,
we have.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Moved on to Carrie their pies.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yes, and so now that woman got another like under
five the lady who you say, say is a good actress.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I didn't say she's a good actress, but I think
she's a funny, like median type person. She's been in stuff.
I've seen her around town, you know, but so like
she was in jugs. Give her her due, But it
made no sense that she's going around like, here's my
pie for Charlotte, and then so she drops that off
like she's going to be doing all over town. One
(08:19):
person lives downtown, one's on the east side, Like, what
are you doing? Used to get Apple twitters or whatever?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
The fuck?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And I just want to say, because this is just
so ridiculous. So everybody's canceled. Everyone's canceled on Miranda, which
really sucks if you think about it, which I thought
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It really sucks.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
So they're gonna get rewarded for sucking by like her
bringing them. Hey, hey, you bailed on Miranda because you're
just like a pretty bad friend, especially Charlotte, who had
no excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Charla and Miranda don't seem to get along, That's what
I That seems to be one of the somebody decided
that along the way they used to be sort of
friends because of Carrie. But I don't think that like,
Charlotte doesn't seem to like Miranda, but she like what
we remember, she said something like fuck Miranda. She said that.
I love that was true. I feel like they both
(09:14):
they were both mad at each other, like they don't
they just don't seem to have anything in common those two. Okay,
that actually that actually makes sense? Then, yeah, and I
liked that Charlotte didn't go. You know how I felt
about that, Like, let Harry fucking chill out with his
family and not go to the nightmare of a Thanksgiving
that it turned out to be. He was right, Yeah,
(09:34):
I guess. So for some reason, Carrie gives Sema her
pie in a car like two cars passing in the day, like, hey,
my car is going to be going by this way,
so let me give it to you. That made no sense. Yeah,
and then what what's Sema doing? So Seema's going to sisters? Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, so she's going to Okay, So I guess Adam
couldn't come to Miranda's because he doesn't really believe in Thanksgiving,
but she's going with him, Okay. So then oh, then
she drops one off to Anthony, which is going to
be the quickest wrap up of a storyline ever so sad.
(10:14):
So Anthony is like Anthony earlier, let's just remind everybody
because this has to come up later.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Anthony out of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
So he's in love with Giuseppe, but all of a sudden,
he's like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I don't know. It's moving too fast, Like I don't
think I want to marry him. Why oh?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And then yeah, and then he's like, oh, he wants
some he wants a mother. He's got mother issues. Okay,
So now Anthony's like, yeah, uh oh, thanks for the
pie because I got to tell him. I got to
tell him that you know about my feelings, how my
feelings have changed for him, like before we eat, I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Right, we got to do it at home. We can't
do this at Miranda, So I'm going to cancel as
well on this shitty thing. So yeah, that all happens.
So then we get so then so we go to
Miranda's right, and and Randon Marian did like Joy isn't
coming because she's got a sick dog. I wanted to
punch Miranda in the face like twenty seven times, like
to try to say that. She was like, I don't
(11:07):
know all of a sudden, she has a sick dog.
Fuck you, Miranda, yep, seriously, And so then there's no
hold on. I'm going to push back.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I'm going to push back, like for a second, because
it's possible that Joy was just that I could see
Miranda being a little bit paranoid because their last interaction
was with Brady being crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's fair, I guess, but I mean they've gotten close. Also,
these two might not be right for each Other's plugging
a giant bottle of gin around and like, can I
store this in your cabinet? Right, there's my gin that
I stored in your cabinet, Like, maybe this isn't the
person for you. I don't like kids. I mean, yeah,
I don't know that Miranda is the one for her no,
(11:49):
and vice versa. Yeah, Randa will do anybody though, like
she doesn't care.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
So then Carrie makes a good point and she's like, hey, Miranda,
maybe you should call Joy, yeah and find out what's
actually going on, like good news or bad news. So
Miranda's like, oh, all right.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
And then immediately does it and comes out of the
room like, well, her dog's really sick and I gotta
go yes, everybody, and Brady's like, what, yes, that was
sit commy.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It's sit commy at the most sitcom at like no
heart in this show, just like there was nothing gotta
go right now, I've got to run. Her dog is
now she's at the clinic. So now her dog has
gone from it swallowed something to it's in surgery. Mid surgery.
She runs to the clinic like Billy Crystal chasing after
what's her.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Name in the rain? Yeah, Meg Ryan in the rain.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She runs to the clinic and then she burst in
and then Joy's like what are you doing here? She's
like I had to come be with you because you
couldn't be alone, because that's the theme.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Nobody can be alone except Carrie, I guess. Then we
go back to the apartment. This is where it's going
to take a turn that we've never seen before on television.
We get a do or Not and it's a trio
of just absolute morons.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Oh my god, I was when I tell you how
mad I was. I don't know if I've ever been
this mad.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I felt insulted on my levels, yeah, and like assaulted.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
So it's Mia the Brady's pregnant, terrific human of a person.
Then it's a very over the top, like you're trolling us.
Gay man guy couldn't be more like Sylvio, who's super
like effeminate. Then there seems to be a trans woman
with them. His name is Epcot because apparently anybody who's
(13:41):
like trans or non binary or has to be like
the biggest fucking asshole on the planet, because I guess,
I guess nobody who's trans or gay is just a
normal person.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Nobody I don't exists, not even Anthony, not even anybody,
not even really Stanford, if you go back, he was
always wearing like gen suits, right, you know, I mean,
which is fine, nothing wrong with the green suit listen,
But there's so mean. So they come in, these morons, yes,
the worst people ever, and there's so mean to like,
and immediately immediately they're like, well, Sylvio's like, well she
(14:15):
doesn't look crazy. And then it's like, well, this isn't
the mother then the what I thought was a true
woman because they have very long, pretty hair that's like
kind of shaved on the side.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
They're wearing kind of a girly outfit. Okay, so here's
what I would do. I would say, what, oh, what's
your what are your pronouns because that's what you do, right,
But that person is also like, uh oh oh, he's
a ginger too. Epcot says that to uh yeah, Epcot
(14:50):
says that to Bradyo. Silvio says that he doesn't look crazy,
and then Epcot is is like, oh no, he's a ginger.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Oh no, it's so awful, So why why.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
If you have like this to me? This is just
like this is why they hate us, Like this is why.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
They well that, and also like why as a show,
why are they bringing in three new characters for five minutes? Right?
And one of them's Epcot is like, my parents are
Disney freaks. My parents. Then then Mia, I don't know
where It's like, yeah, I'm They're like, would you like
some cheese? I'm lactose intolerant. I only eat seaweed.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
No, Epcot's lactose intolerant, and Mia, for no reason, not
because they're lactose intolerant me is just.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Like I don't eat that, right, And then Rady goes,
what what do you eat? I only eat seaweed and
cucumber and brown rice, and then you yeah, yeah, And
then the other guy, Sylvio, Oh, so basically she's like, yeah, no,
no wine for me. I'm pregnant obviously, And then the
(15:57):
other guy goes, uh, Sylvia goes, I'll take some strawberry
short I'll take I'll take some strawberry shortcake. What the
fuck is this guy? The guys they invited you to
fucking Thanksgiving? Who talks like that? How is that acceptable?
And why do you have to make the lgbt Q
characters horrible assholes? Why was Jay.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
The most absolute, unlikable, horrible person. Why why the most
scoldy scold in interviews on the show as a character,
Like why are you?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Are you showing us these characters?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
So then Sylvio is like, also, bitch, I'm starving. No
fucking talks like that. I'm so mad, Okay, So then Epcot.
Then Epcot says, I'm lactose intolerant. Okay, that's gonna set
something up, which is the worst thing we've ever seen.
Then knock, knock, there's somebody else at the door. Oh,
(16:56):
it's Mark from past seasons. He's been on Sex and
the City befo for I believe I'm the gallery owner.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Right, Yeah, maybe he wasn't on Sex and the City.
But the whole thing was that he's been married a
few times. He's an old and I kind of don't
like the way they play him to be so terrible.
Why is he terrible, Carrie? Because he's been married a
couple of times. You've been married and had like long
relationships before. Yeah, so like because he's like the joke
seemed to be that because he was too old, which
(17:23):
I thought was very age just and rude.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
He's not, oh and so kind of sweet. He's never
been very pushy. There's not even a little him.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It's not his fault. Charlotte was Charlotte's idea. She's like,
oh my god, Carrie single, now you should go. And
he brought a bottle of wine. He's like, Oh, I'm
so glad that you're here. And he's they're so mean
to him. He couldn't have been nicer, I know, and
he so then he says, uh, yeah, the thing about
the Disney freak and then but he says it too
or when Mark Mark is just like oh yeah, like is.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
It Mark that says like like Epcot Center, Oh, you're.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Kind of like, oh Epcot is like yeah, my parents
for Disney Freaks.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, but in kind of like a fuck you like yeah,
it's just really weird. So then then Miranda shows up
at the brand, shows up all right, oh yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,
so she hadn't shown up, so now she's at the
clinic and I guess I skipped.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well we already well we kind of uh yeah, you
kind of got ahead of yourself. So first, before we
get to that, Brady looks just like nuts. He's like
losing his mind. But the actor's eyes are all like googlely,
like he's just gone crazy, and he's like, oh, I
gotta go get some seaweed. I guess no, you don't.
You don't have to. What are you talking about? Why
would you all tell me?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Why would he possibly do that when, especially when Mia
is just being such a.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Cuse, Why would you say to Carrie, hey, don't let
the turkey burn. You know this person, this is like
your godmother. She's never hooked anything in her life, right,
don't don't leave that in her. You don't have to.
Where are you going to go to get seaweed? Such
a stupid like made up sitcom bullshit thing, right, And
then of course we know it's gonna burn because of course, right,
and now I wrote at this point, they what the
(19:14):
show should do is have a tsunami that just out
of nowhere, a tsunami hits the whole town and this
everyone gets wiped out like that, hold on, I love
that idea. Write it down. That is amazing and not
other people like I don't want collateral damage. Just the cast, Yes,
(19:39):
wiped out and we don't even have to So then okay,
so Miranda.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Shows up at the clinic and Joy is like, what
are you doing here? And she's and then Miranda goes,
how could I just leave you? Well you could, Miranda,
because you are like that. But anyway, She's like, it's
a simple procedure, but I had to sign a paper
and like you know that my dog could die. And okay,
(20:02):
before you even this, this could.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Have been a moment.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
First of all, that's a really scary moment. Your dog
is having emergency surgery. You've had to sign this paper.
This is like your child, right right? How about something
connecting to the idea that Joy is like that, Miranda
really realizes like this is her baby, Like right, she
really is connected, she can connect, but like this is
(20:28):
her family, and this is what she like, something a
little deeper than just like the guy coming right out
and going everything's fine, right, like immediately immediately. I just
didn't understand, Like this is the problem with introducing a
thousand new characters in twelve episodes.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Right, Okay, So then we go back to Carrie, who
pulls out the turkey. She's like, does it look golden brown?
He's like, it does to me. Mark doesn't know he's
in New york Er. He doesn't cook. He's like, I
don't know, but he's being I think he's lovely. I'm
not saying I would want to go out with them,
or that Carrie should want a date him, but the
way that she was treating him was so mean, and
it's like we miss something. Unless he always made it
(21:07):
like really young. Maybe he's just skivy. I don't know,
but the actor wasn't playing. He reminded me of a
little of like Alan Alda in like a movie that
Alan Alda would be in, yes, where he was just
swirling the wine a little bit, and he's like a
professor and Woody Allan, you know what I mean. Like
it just it was like he's not that bad.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Well, yeah, so this is this is the part where
because then there's a knock on the door and at Charlotte, right,
and for no reason, why would Charlotte cancel on Thanksgiving?
But then come over you've got the time to come,
then come in for a few minutes.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
But she's like, no, I can't even stay.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Why because Harry is such like a slave driver that
you need to come right back home?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
And can she get there the subway? It's not that
easy to get to all these places in New York, Like,
it's not like they live in Waco and they just
can get in their car and drive five minutes over right,
It's kind of a hassle. Like, so she has the
stuff and she's like, oh, no, I forgot I invited Mark.
How would you forget that? How would you forget that?
And then Carrie's like, can I come talk to you
for a second? Oh my god. She's like, Harry, you're alone?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
First of all, Mark, can hear you during that? Yes? Yes,
he's right there. It's like a small apartment.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, And she and Charlotte's like, but you said you
were so worried that there is not a man for you,
that you're going to be all alone. There is a man,
and he's smart and cultured, and Carrie goes, he's been
married three times, right.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Well, you've been married once and almost twice. Actually, it
was almost to aiden like a couple of different times.
You've accepted many a proposal exactly. So that was kind
of crazy. Okay. So then so it's just really crazy
to me that Charlotte is just like, I got to
get right back to Harry. He just and she even
is like, oh my god, he had sex. We had sex,
(22:49):
like he's and she goes, are you mad at me
because we had sex? No, none of that matters the fuck? Okay,
So then the worst Then it gets worse because then
the kids start dancing. We caught in the friends start
sans dancing like he's in a go go club in
a cage, and he's like yeah, and me is like,
yes girl, yes, leg queen. Okay, who had nobody behaves
(23:14):
like that. I've there's never been a more awful care
I really honestly can't think of anythingmore.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And then I almost got sex with Marcus because he's
like not Marcus Mark gallery owner, because he's like pouring
the last, the last step of the wine in his glass.
I was like, this guy, we would have been bonding
with him. We would have been exchanging so many looks,
drinking another, just have another, Like he finished the bottle
of wine. He didn't go like what the fuck is
(23:40):
going on here?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
People? He tried to be they were awful and he
was like where's the wine? Like he tried to stay
calm the whole time. Yep, he's he's the hero that
we just met. Yeah, and a whole the end of
the thing. So then Epcot is like, I gotta go
to the bathroom, and you know what, would have been
so cute.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Honestly, if if if Carrie does have a moment with
Mark where there is even the slightest possibility just where
it's like, oh, she's you know what I mean, because
she's always after these guys that are not like a
normal guy, right, Like imagine if Mark, she's is somebody
she would have always overlooked because he's just kind of
(24:19):
like an older guy who's like normal. And if they
have a moment where they're looking at each other and
neither one of them has been like what the fuck
is going out with these people? But they just like
he pours her a little more wine and they have
a moment yes.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And like oh we never saw this person coming. That's
so interesting, right, not him, but somebody like that something
like that.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Just to show that there's like hope that she's not
always going to only go after like guys that are
difficult or unavailable, right.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Either they're unavailable in the way that big ones or
they're just like the kind of I mean, she only
liked to Aiden back in the day because he was
good looking, Like she cheated on him when he had
long hair and was kind of heavy and only wanted
to get together with him when he like worked out
and cut his hair. And then she's like, yeah, I'm sorry,
it's not because you look good though. I miss you
now you do, right, But okay, so Epcot goes into
(25:10):
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
This is just well, first, before that happens, Miranda shows up,
Marianda and Sylvia. Sylvia is just dancing around the house
like a crazy person, right, and.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
The music turned really loud, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
And then and then Miranda's like, yeah, I was just
helping like my girlfriend, like with her dog.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
And then Mia goes, I like dogs, but right, no,
just happy that she has a girlfriend. She goes, that's cool.
She's very happy because she likes Remember, She's like, oh,
that's cool. Yeah, and then she's like yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Then she goes, yeah, I had a dog, but like
somebody like left the door open and it ran away,
which is supposed to be foreshadowing for like you're gonna
be a horrible bother.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and then we have and we'll never see it,
thank god.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I guess I like, why would you introduce okay, so
that that's your ending to the season, even if you
didn't know, like, let alone the whole season, it's just like, okay,
so he's stuck with this horrible person.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Like the worst person that's ever been on any show. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
So that's when Epcot's like, where's your bathroom? I really
need it?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Right?
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh and oh so then this part made me mad.
So then Carrie says something about Epcot and goes, yeah,
it's Epcot, like the center, and then goes his parents
were big Disney fans. Okay, that well, why would you
say his first of all to me? Like from the
moment that we met Epcot, I was like, Epcot's a
(26:37):
trans woman. But so it almost seemed insulting that if
you're going to go out of your way and this
is this would have been a macronote, but I wanted
to get to this part so I could rant for
a minute.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
If you're gonna be hit.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Us over the head with woke the whole time, then
at the part where it would actually be appropriate to
be woke and go, what.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Are your pronouns? You're just going to assume that Epcot's
a heat? Yeah. I was very confused by that. I
was like, wait, what, yeah, because honestly, I didn't even
read I mean I when I I watched it twice,
So the second time I read Epcot as trans yeah.
The first time I read Epcot as female, like just
(27:19):
full like, so I didn't even That was so confusing
to me. And then Carrie said that. I was like,
oh wait, okay, but then why would she say that?
And why would you?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
So are we to assume that you already asked the pronouns?
But let's say we're to assume that, and that Carrie
is not just an asshole who's misgendering somebody probably Okay,
why wouldn't you show that scene?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Like, if we've had so much of rock, I just
was like, oh, are we weirdly like conservative all of
a sudden, like right now, we can't just ask somebody
what their pronouns are.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I was really mad. Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So then Brady comes out, so he.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I don't even think we mentioned that. Yeah, we did mention.
He went out to go get seaweed and cucumber. So
Brady comes out, He's like, well, I hope everyone likes
seaweed and cucumber because the turkey's raw. So then, oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
So Brady sees that Mia is eating cheese. She's she's
you told me, you warned me. You're like, this woman
that Brady got pregnant is one of the worst women
you've ever seen, one of the worst characters you've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Ever it's ever been written. I don't think you did
it justice though. No, it was more than that. It
was more than that. I wait, isn't she the daughter
who who's her parents? Is that Ben Stiller's kid? Ben
Stiller and yes and Christina Taylor? How did that go
so wrong? How did they make that? Well?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Maybe she's a good actress. I mean that's what was
written for her. That's the writer's that's not her fault.
Now you storm off, you just say no, you have
your dad come in. He's got to have looked at
the script and like, just like, you're not doing this.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
You can't do this. This is just embarrassing. It's embarrassing
for the Stiller name. So in my opinion, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yes, And let's not forget that I had a really
big crush on Ben Stiller many years ago.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I'm so it's so your type. Yeah, but he's supposed
to be an asshole. I'm so totally an asshole. Yes,
but that I can one hundred percent see that. Okay,
So then EPCOT Yeah, now okay, wait wait wait wait,
So then Brady sees me as eating cheese and she's like,
why are you eating cheese?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
And then I thought, you can't have it? Why was
I running all over it?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Oh? And then she he goes, why did.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I run all over Chinatown looking for seaweed and stuff
for you? And Mia goes, again, that's on you. I
didn't ask you to do that. Wouldn't you have like
seriously kicked her in the ovaries at this point and
just sent her on her way?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yeah, who does not have to find that would be
a more interesting show that they like try to find
someone to kill her. Branda has to go to Miranda
like and then Branda gets caught doing it, and she
insists on defending herself and like Ted Bundy yes, and then
the whole thing becomes like a courtroom drama of her
just like Pace. She's like, you're on her, Yeah, I
address the jury.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
And Joy like won't stand up for her. Joys like,
I don't know. I mean she was at the clinic,
but then I didn't see her after that.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I don't know. And they're like and they're like, yeah,
I have an alibi, and Joy will tell you, and
she like points to Joy. She's like is that Joy,
Like you know it's Joy. Why are you asking the question?
She's defending herself, and then Joy's like, yeah, I don't
want any part in this. I yeah, oh my god.
She she always said, Joy, do you see the do
(30:38):
you see the defendant in this courtroom? Joy's like yeah,
it's like you you're the defendant. Sorry, I wasn't asking that.
That was not like like it's just so obviously that
she did it. She like had her cell phone with
her the whole time. Her fingerprints are all over like
all the things everything. They're like, you said you you
(30:59):
even admitted it in the confession. They caught you red handed,
you brought you into the station. You're like, I did
it all it was seeing red and now you're saying
you didn't do it. What a waste of everybody's tide?
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Okay, so so then so then uh basically all right,
So MIA's just being a bitch and Brady goes.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
You know, whatever.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
She doesn't so she doesn't care, so Brady goes whatever.
Then somebody says, yeah, like Miranda.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Doesn't seem crazy out of nowhere, Sylvia probably Silvio. Yeah,
they're being crazy. They're being horrible, and they're like, she
doesn't seem crazy. And then Mia is like, yeah, like
you shouldn't disrespect your mom. Oh, because that's when Brady's
oh yeah, goes yeah, she's crazy. This is all crazy.
He gets mad, rightfully, so and she's like you shouldn't
(31:57):
talk to your mom like that. She's trying to do
a good thing. He's like, mom, that blocked you on
Facebook and she's like I said that in confidence. Now
what is this conversation? Like what are they talking about? Right? Well,
when you never get into that, like it doesn't matter
and why Apparently.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
It was like a one night or like two time
stand so like, you guys are having deep talks about
her relationship with her mom. Okay, So then Epcot comes
out of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Oh and goes, does anybody have any matches that the
lock pose? That cheese really got to me? What the
what is this? I was just absolutely completely utterly mortified.
I had never I was sick. I like was like
eating like something, and I was like I can't finish this.
So yes, the worst. So then they have a converse.
(32:42):
So then this is when Mark goes into they did
they leave? Yeah? Yeah, they leave. So everybody leaves and
then Carrie says to Miranda like everybody's left, and you know,
Miranda's like, well, Mark's still here waiting. So yeah, he's
in the bathroom and they chart peeing like aggressively for
no reason either. It was like this isn't an indie film,
but in a minute, But first Carrie has to be
(33:04):
kind of mean, and she's like, yeah, I guess he's
still here. Now I'm going to have to let him
take me. He's he's going to come out of the.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Bathroom and he's going to be like, oh can I
take you home?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Oh? Yeah? What an asshole? Carrie?
Speaker 3 (33:17):
What a terrible, terrible thing that he's going to be
a gentleman and say can I give you a left home?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Right? And then they hate him because he has a plane. Yeah,
what are you doing? Okay? So then you know where's Duncan?
Where the fuck is Duncan?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Right?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Okay, so it doesn't matter. So then he peas for
like seven minutes. We only have thirty minutes here for
the literally of the entire thing, right.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
But now, guess what we have to have a side
story about Mark, the character Mark, which, yes, would I
have liked it if they had a moment together and
it was like, oh, there's still hope for Carrie, maybe
not this guy, but somebody she's going to find in
the future.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Would have been great.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
But no, instead of that, it's just a another side
storyline involving disgusting.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Now, first of all, let's talk about what the props
people had to do for this. So he peas and
he goes to flush, but the flush doesn't go down
because the epcot epcot is like backed up the toilet
so much that they literally show a piece of shit
swirling around and coming up out of the toilet. Oh,
what is this train spotting? Like what are we doing here? Which? Shit?
What is this? Is there a baby on the ceiling?
(34:22):
I mean this is what is it? Like a candy
they put with like a twig spar Yeah? What the
fuck was that? And then it's more poop. Then he
looks at it and he's horrified, as you would be, right,
because he's like, I was just peeing that I would
smell like either also in this house that they're acting
like it doesn't smell. No, one's like Harry's not like
I'm out of here. No, she's just in the bathroom
(34:43):
watching Miranda, and it's like scrub it up. But we'll
get there.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
And then all this poop they have to make it
like the most gross. Meanwhile, there are like four minutes
left in the in the in the finale of this
the whole show, right, and we have to watch like ten.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Pieces of poop floating around in a toilet. I mean
that's about right. I also thought that we could call
this when Shit Happens, because Carrie does they say that,
yeah it happens, or did it? So Mark has a
right to be upset. He comes out and he's upset,
and he's finally like, all right, goodbye, Sorry, i'man, this
is what happened, but yeah, I'll see myself out, which
he should have done hours ago. But he's trying to
(35:20):
wait for Carrie because like somebody told him that she
might be interested. Yeah's too good for Carrie anyway.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Uh okay, exactly, Like the poor guy. Nobody apologizes to him.
Nobody is like, I'm so sorry. First of all, Charlotte
never fucking showed up and she didn't really apologize to
him for that. Nobody's nice to him, and now he
has to go in there and have like a plumbing incident,
and he's just like, oh my god. And Carrie sits
(35:50):
there with this grin on her face like, yeah, I'm
so glad I don't have to deal with it now
I don't have to go home with him.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
It doesn't smell anything, and has the door just open
and she's just on the floor scrubbing shit out. And
then Joy comes over and she's like, eh, Miranda's on
her knees. But it's not for any good reason or
some ship like that. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah,
the Joy's like, well, that's just our relationship.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Like right before that, Miranda says, Miranda's like yeah, Joy's
uncomfortable with families, and now she might have a baby
coming into her life. And then knock knock, knock, knock.
Oh god, it's Joy. I guess she's not really afraid
of family. Oh because because the dog ate a lego
that it found at like the park.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Right, that's why I don't like kids, but I understand family.
Like all of a sudden, she has an epiphany that
she wants to be with the shit scrubber. I wouldn't
want to be, but nobody should want to be part
of this. But also, you you don't like kids because
of legos? Like what? Right? That doesn't make sense? So
again this is this is insane. So she enjoys start
(36:54):
to have this like kind of real conversation, I guess,
and then Carrie just leaves with no goodbye. It's Thanksgiving.
She spent five to six hours at her friend Miranda's
and doesn't say all right, I'm out guys. Nope, she
just like, thank you for baking dinner, right, I'm out,
doesn't just leaves, just leaves, no goodbye. That's it. No
(37:16):
goodbye to her friend Miranda, who she's been on a
show with for twenty plus years. Yeah, no, hug. There
could have been a moment like what good front, like
look at this kind of friendship, like what we've been
through nothing, Hey, I'm really sorry I was a dick
to you about Duncan.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yeah, And I was gonna say, like that could have
been a nice moment, like while they're sitting there, she
could have been like, you know, I've been meaning to
say something that wasn't cool sometimes I sometimes I take
you for grand yeah, and you know you've been such
a good friend something anything.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
But no, we get nothing. And so she comes home
to her mansion.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
How about Carrie gets an appreciation, that sudden appreciation for
her friends, realizing like, oh I might be alone, right,
and like my friends all kind of have partners, and
maybe I've kind of taken them for granted, yes, and
been sort of a dick, and maybe I need to
show them that I care about them.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
No, none of that. No, she sneaks out, just silently
goes home to her mansion, notices the karaoke Remember I
was like, they better pay off this karaoke thing because
they had all scene for no reason that Miranda's like,
what's that karaoke machine still doing there? Like anybody would
say that, But that's only to set up that there
she is, she's going to turn it on and then
kind of dance she salt burns around her fucking house,
(38:34):
you know I'm talking about. Yeah. I was surprised she
didn't like, just like tuck it under and just start
naked dancing. What if they did just have her naked
dancing down the hallway doing lines of coke? When she
just salt burned around? I was like, what now is happening?
Speaker 3 (38:48):
But also why didn't she she's turning on the karaoke machine?
You know, this bitch has some like really nice speakers
in her house, right with like to play proper music.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Why wouldn't she? Like I thought it would.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Have been cute if she started singing, Yeah, I did
karaoke by herself, by yourself, that would be cute.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
That's something that's a strange thing to do alone. Why right? Not? Yes?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
And if she's like, hey, I'm alone in my house,
who's here to see me?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I don't have to feel self conscious. I'm gonna sing karaoke.
That would be cute. She was gonna take her heels
off for a second, but remembered I have no one
to take my heels off. Girl, you should take your
like you're scratching up your floors. You made a big
deal about Miranda like doing anything when she stayed with
you for two days when her met out neighbor, which
we never dealt with again. She just got out of
(39:33):
that real fat. You know how easy it is to
move in New York. M hmm. Then but now, yeah, no,
leave the shoes on. That's great. So then we cut
to Giuseppi. Now this is gonna be like a five
second end to this character. Yeah, for an entire twenty
five years. Yes, And Joseppe's mad because they've had a
conversation that we didn't even see, no knew about. But
(39:54):
he was like, so you think that you maybe don't
want to me because maybe I would be like his
son you and you'd have to be like a popa
and you don't want to be a papa. And he's like, yeah,
I don't want to And then he just puts a
pie in a pie in your face. I did not
that to say in English, so I do like it
(40:14):
is hey, and then and thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I was like, oh, and then you're gonna be like
just kidding friend.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
They laugh, like not cleaning this. I love you. I lie, Yeah,
I just Lieah. So that's the end of that. How
were you? I was sitting there with my mouth. I
was like, are you mean to tell me that Giuseppe
had like an under five in this episode? Fucking Epcot
got more lines in this episode than Giuseppe? And then
(40:49):
and Anthony probably and it's been on the show since
episode one, since like day one or maybe you like
episode whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
If you're if you're Anthony, aren't you watching this? Just
go are you? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
With thee It's going to be mortified. I mean, they
probably all just want the money. They just took the money. Yeah,
they took the money. I mean they don't care. So Rock.
Then we go over to Rock, We're going to finish
that up, and Rock's like, I want to see all
the pictures that you took of me? And this made
no sense either. Charlotte's like, oh, I deleted them because
I didn't think why would you delete them on your
own phone? Right? We will never do that, and also
(41:24):
of this made me so mad. Rock goes like, as
though you're going to have this kind of insight at
this age. Rock's like, I'm going to be a lot
of people in my life. You don't even know that.
Speaker 3 (41:33):
Also, speaking as as the parent of a kid who
might have been like a rock, right, why would you
end the episode end it with like, oh what Charlotte
always wanted with basically Rock being like, yeah, probably not
trans or even not binary. I'm fine, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
I like her.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
I'm really pretty now because did you notice that Rock's
hair was like super pretty now? And they're wearing makeup
and it's like, oh, so that's like your happy.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Ending, Like, don't worry. Your kid didn't.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Stray too far. It's just a phase, mom. I'm gonna
I'm going to try a lot of different phases. I
thought that was the most anti woke.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It was like bullshit, kind of like, don't worry everybody.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
These kids they just go through phases. But like that's
not really who they are. They're really they're really a girl.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
And also they wouldn't say that themselves. You wouldn't write
that insight. You're not that self actualized. No, don't worry, mom. Yeah,
that was so ridiculous. So that's it. That's it for them.
We've had Charlotte in our lives since nineteen ninety eight. Yeah, okay,
so now Herbert we have to Herbert can eat again.
That's all we really have to say about that. And
he's very excited now that he's not running, he can eat.
He's so happy.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
And then and then, as if this makes up for
how he's been as a husband this whole time, he's like, oh,
you know what, honey, you go.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Put your feet up. Yeah, I'll do the dishes since you. Oh.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Oh okay, Herbert. So all this time you're just barking
at your wife about that she keeps pasta in the
house or that she doesn't have dinner on the table
right on time. But like this one night, you're gonna
do the dishes. Oh, marriage so great.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Oh I'm gonna get even madder as mad as you
just got this the last thing. Okay, So Carrie eats
some pie by herself, still in her giant tool oscar
de la Rena dress or whatever for no reason, and
a weird red glitter top that we never talked about. Yeah,
and it's looking out the window. Then we see Sema.
Just these are quick scenes. Seema is like, I don't
really miss gluten at all. Oh god, that's so funny
because Adam. He's so gluten free, such a vegan. I
(43:36):
get it. Then we just see Joy and Miranda. They're happy,
they're happily ever after. And now Carrie sits at her computer.
I lost my fucking mind, and she has epilogue and
she started writing it, but she erases it, and then
she starts writing, Great, she's got her cat too. Oh,
the cat's there on the bed. And she sits down
and she starts writing again, and she's like, this is
(43:56):
what she read. She says, the woman okay, okay. Just
because the woman was not alone, she was on her own,
that means nothing, nothing. What the fuck does that? I
like lost my mind. And then right when that happens,
then she saw burns down the hallway again. Then we
cut to the Sex and the City theme song. Yeah,
(44:19):
because it's like, well, let's give them what they really want,
A nonsensical line.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Oh, I don't think that was what they were doing.
I think on HBO it just goes to.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Like no, not on in just like that there, it
never does. I I watched I noticed that on it,
just like that, it doesn't go to that. It goes
to like usually songs, songs they've chosen Oh yeah, you're right,
it's not been that. This was the end. This was
the bow that they probably put in and they realized
yeah done, yeah yeah. And it reminded me of like
(44:49):
it was like such a burn that it felt like
Larry the Larry Day the Curb theme song, Yes, bomb bomb,
like you're like, oh wow, you got us, you sure
got woman was not alone, she was on her own.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Also, they show her erasing like the old epilogue, like
she's gonna write her new epilogue. But meanwhile, the old
epilogue was like three lines, right, so yes, I she
just so that's your new that's your epilogue. That's not
an epilogue. That's not how book writing works. If I
if I wrote epilogue and turn that into my publisher,
(45:24):
they'd be like, what is this the epilog?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Thing? Is this the epilogue? Is the woman was not alone,
she was on her own an epilogue, but yeah, I'm done.
I guess everybody should just burn their own books because
no one can compete with me. First of all, that
would just be a last line of a book. An
epilogue is like what comes after? Oh what, that's that's it?
(45:47):
Like I was I was like, okay, it's like they
had to write it in a night. It's like they're
like everybody were just battening down the hatches, like nobody
can leave. We're gonna we'll order tenchin for sure, everybody.
We will pay for Golden Time. I mean, it's just
the fucking worst thing I've ever seen. Yep. Yeah, and
that's that and just like that, and just like that,
(46:09):
it ended. And I'm a little bit sad because they
never fixed it. I'm sad. I just it's is like
one of the many things in our lives that we
just can't fix. I just deleted my notes on that episode, bhie.
I reminded the try wow, thank you for being on
this journey with us, and Sada says, thank you. It's sad.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
It's sad, a little bit of a sad week for
us though, because the valley ended and and just like
that ended.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
We'll get there. But don't worry, guys.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
I'm trying to talk Cecily into recapping Love is Blind UK.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Maybe I'm a soft gentle.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Probably talk her into it, guys, write to her, tell her,
tell her you want.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
That, okay, okay, And while you're doing that, I'm trying
to think. I'm like trying to think of something, like
something horrible that I can't it's not coming. I'm not
good at improv. It would be like the worst thing.
I'm like, Okay, and while we're doing that, tell Steph
that we have to go back to the first Southern
Charm first season when they were like a very racist.
(47:12):
She'll love it. She's gonna love she's gonna think it's
so fun. All Right, everybody, we love you for being here.
We love you. Thank you. Oh that's the other thing. Okay,
bye bye,
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