August 4, 2025 • 48 mins
After telling some (somehow more) comedy stories from the early days, Cecily gives Stefanie a beauty tip for the ages. Plus so much more, as always.
Also, check out VIIA Gummies. They are top notch and we're big fans. If you're 21 or over, check out VIIAHEMP.COM ! Order now with code ROSEPRICKS to get 15 percent off, free shipping and a free gift for orders over 100.
Tell em Rose Pricks sent you!
Also, check out VIIA Gummies. They are top notch and we're big fans. If you're 21 or over, check out VIIAHEMP.COM ! Order now with code ROSEPRICKS to get 15 percent off, free shipping and a free gift for orders over 100.
Tell em Rose Pricks sent you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Stuck at home, bored and alone. You'd think I could
have some fun on my own button all I called
af with Cecily and Stephanie. What's up, everybody? It is
bored a f Honestly, I'm gonna be for real, for
(00:25):
real with you guys, Like for real. This is probably
my favorite show to do because a lot of the
it's fun, it's it's chill, it's like so chill, and
the other shows we do depend on watching, like bad
TV shows, which, from your perspective as a listener, I'm
sure that's fun because you know you can just sit
(00:47):
back and watch the show on your own time and
listen to us make fun of it. So good for you.
I'm glad like life works out that way for you.
But we have to actually watch them and take notes.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, like here in ways we take notes as we
walk around the world. We're like, oh that's interesting, that's
a bord af thing. Yeah, that's a boarding.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Then I forget and then I, like I used to
do with stand up.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I would not write down the notes, or I'd write
them on an old, crumpled napkin and then throw out
the joke.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I was never very organized, never I know not so
many times I see things like in the world and
I think, oh my god, like that or you know,
you know what it is? Actually, Oh my god, this
is so this is I've been meaning to tell you
this anyway. Sometimes I'll see a comedian do a joke
(01:37):
like I on you know, Instagram or something, you'll you know,
subscribe to comics, and I'll be like, oh my god,
Like that's that's like I should have I should still
be doing stand up because oh yeah, because I'm like,
those are the kind of things that I just that
you and I like say in conversation to each other,
m hm, do you know what I mean? And I'm like, God,
that person is just doing that as like their stand
(01:59):
up act.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
God.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
But also some of them are still so and You're like,
why didn't I try harder? That's like all you have
to do is just do it. Yes, I really have
to do That's.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
What I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it's
such a waste that I was always like, ah no,
it has to be the greatest joke and it doesn't
just has to be like a funny thought you have.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
You just have to get like a facelift. Here's what
we have to do. We have to get a lot
of filler, try to look crazy young. I think it's
I think stand up is wasted on the youth.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Is that a thing? I think it is? These these
these kids these days, man, these comedians, these young comics
these days, they have so much confidence.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
They have too much confidence because there's not as much
talent to back it up half the time.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But some of them are funny. Like sometimes I'll see
somebody and I'll be like, Oh, this person's funny. It's
their delivery. And then I'm like, you know what, I
had funny delivery. I'm just going to pat myself on
the back for a second and go, I got my
own jokes. I understand how to do the timing. It's
just that I thought every joke had to be the
greatest fucking joke that's ever been written, or I wouldn't
(03:06):
want to do it. That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I never had that problem, I mean even a little bit,
not even a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, and you're a good comedian, just.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
A different kind of comedian because I think, my I
we're not going to talk about this whole thing again.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
As we've done this million times.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
We have talked about this so many times, but I'm
just gonna say this, you were more of a joke writer,
or are more of a joke writer. And I came
up in the storytelling Janine garofflo age, even though you
did as well and you liked that stuff too, But
that was when I first started doing stand up. That's
all that you did. You told a crazy story about
your agent, you know what I mean. It was like,
that's that was my stand up. That's what I loved,
(03:48):
mom stuff, but that it was long stories. There was
no joke rafting really not really. Like sometimes I would
get together with some of my friends who I'm still
very good friends with, like Greg Moore and you know,
and he's like he's like the kind of comic and
he's a headlining comic now, but he actually opens for
Nate or GHATSI.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You know, yes, yes, Nate Jesus Middle he opens for him.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
He's like in Europe, he went to Europe with him
on their like they're real good riend. He's got a
great career. As my point, Greg has a bunch of specials.
He's done really well. But he would sit for hours
and write and I'd be like, what are you doing?
Let's go drink and he's like, no, I don't even
like to drink that much. I've never been a big drink.
It would be like, what do you and then he
(04:32):
would try to get me. He used to do the
thing where he'd get other comics, and I think Henry
might have been part of that at one point, where
he'd want to go to the deli, like he'd want
to go to Green Blats like old Jewish comics and
write and I was so bored.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I was like, are they going to be cute guys?
And he's like, oh, well no.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No, none that you haven't already slept with could be
his reply. I'm like and then I would go and
get bored and like get like a glass some wine
at like two in the afternoon. I just didn't understand
the assignment. And now he's done very well as a comedian,
and I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Okay, the hard work, okay, but I'm going to push
back because I was like that and I am not
doing well as a comedian. Obviously I have doing it, yeah,
because it wasn't going well. So I didn't stop, like
at the height of my like things are going great.
I want to quit while I'm ahead? Was it like that?
(05:28):
It was like, Oh, this is never going to work.
I'm never going to be a famous comedian. What am
I doing? And I think I'm going to try to
get a job working on a shitty TV show? I mean,
it was timing out. It's timing. It was tedious. Things
changed in your life. You got married and had kids.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
That's a different look for like Greg, Yes, but continue
you know it didn't matter.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, but I'm not trying to like, I'm not trying
to argue like against myself, but I'm just being I'm
just being honest. Like, No, I took it seriously. First
of all, I didn't really come up. Well. I came
up a little bit before you, for sure, And there
was there. Alternative comedy wasn't a thing when I started.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
That's what I'm saying. I know you always liked it,
but that wasn't your thing.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
For sure. I liked it.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I had a stand up way before I did, for sure.
I mean my first time doing stand up was ninety
seven or ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah, so and I was probably like ninety okay, I'm
assuming I moved to LA in eighty six. Yeah, probably
around like nineteen ninety. I started nineteen maybe even earlier.
I don't know, yeah, maybe like right before. That doesn't
really matter. The point is I'd been doing stand up
for a few years open mic nights, writing joke jokes,
(06:46):
and then later I mean, I've been doing it for
a while when like Jinny Garofolo came on the scene.
But she also had jokes when I first used to
see her, Like, she had a joke like the joke
about seeing someone at Renfair and they take themselves really
seriously and she's like and they're like yeah, They're like,
(07:07):
She's like, can you can you tell me what time
it is? And then the pray tell which is time?
And then she's like, listen, you're wearing a swatch.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, So the joke was. The joke was, where can
I get a diet coke? Pretty tell is a diet coke?
Oh my god, you're wearing a swatch? Yeah, that was
the joke, I think, yeah, or she may have changed
it a few times back when she would. I saw
her on like HBO Comedy Special in the eighties and
I was like, that's the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen.
I didn't even know that could exist, but no, you're right,
(07:34):
she did sort of have more of an act. But
then when the Luna Park, well Largo wasn't yet a thing,
but Luna Park started. That was all those guys like
Patten and Bob and David and they would just go
up and and I've said this before, but my favorite
was of all of them was Julia Sweeney, who told
the best stories. You guys know where is Pat from SNL,
(07:56):
But my god, she is the most brilliant freaking writer
and she's so delightful and she's who I wanted to be. Yes,
that's exactly Kathy Griffin, all those people. So yeah, and
then I don't know when that went away, but it
definitely went away.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
But I stopped doing well. So I just wasn't doing
well as a comedian. It's not even that I wasn't
doing well, but I was always just so hard on
myself and like always felt like I had to kill
or right now. And I came up, like I said,
at a time where people like I can't even tell
(08:29):
you like the different names of the comedians, but they
were all kind of old school, and I just remember
having to go up after a lot of those people
and just go I just Gallagher two. Gallagher two. I
had to put a tarp. I had to put on
a tarp. And then I'd be like, you're not even
Gallagher one, Like why do I have to get a tarp?
(08:50):
And then nobody would Shang.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I'm probably I had to go after Shang on like
a very important thing.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
It was like Aspen, like Aspen audition.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I was like, why are you.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Gonna put after Shang?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
You guys, we haven't talked about this. He was a
very high energy guy that would just like have sex
with a microphone.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Well. He also had a thing, okay, so Craig Shoemaker head,
I'm the love master baby, and he'd get a black
voice and it was so offensive and awful even back then.
But Shang had something where he called himself like the
dick master or something. Yeah, and then I would make
fun of him to his face because I was kind
of friendly with him, and he'd be like stop it,
and I'd be like, do the dick master thing. That's
(09:28):
so funny, and he'd just be like stop it. And
I do think there was a time where he was like,
I don't want to do that joke anymore. I don't
want to be known for that. But it was like
too then he'd have to lapse into it because you know,
I feel like he got to get a laugh. That
is good. What's Shane up to? Now?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What do you think? Let me look him up, let's
see what. Let's see. Is he still still going Sha Forbes?
We had a last name? Yeah, I'm pretty sure did he?
Oh yeah, he comes up Shang Forbes. Why didn't he
use his last name?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
It's just cool, Like, if your name's Shang? What what?
What do he got used for a name? We have
a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
We have eleven mutual friends, which I would think we'd
have more. Is this the same guy or there can't
be more than one? Yeah, you're one of our mutual friends. Yeah,
now this is him. He's working busy month. He says
he's doing Linwood. Shit, got some Fresno shows going. Oh yeah,
that's he's ruining everybody's lives like bit by bit. And
I don't mean the audience, I mean the other fucking comics.
(10:28):
Oh well, that's Shang.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The cover of his cover is Shang is Shngry, and
it says the comedy special available now at Amazon Prime.
And it's just a picture of him with like a
bandana around his head and it's like his hands are
in fists and he's just got an open mouth, like ah,
I want to say this about him. We're not really
(10:49):
making fun of Shane because he goes very well, great jokes.
He seems nice.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
He also has an anti Trump thing, which I like,
like he's on the right side of things.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So you know what I've turned around. I'm not making
fun of Shang. We're just making fun of comedy of
comedians that started back then and are still doing that,
still doing it t mecula. I mean, listen, do what
makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I live in a like like Squalor, so we're all
we're so.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I have a I have an interesting story for you.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay, okay, this is this is an old yeather a round.
This is an old bored a f story. Right, okay,
ready you're hanging in. You're good, Yes, you're ready. I
went to the grove.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
You know, it's like never.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Good when it starts with the grove. All right, Okay,
let me go back a little bit on TikTok. I
had seen one of those tiktoks. It's weird that like
the TikTok is the place that you see the TikTok.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, so you're on TikTok and you're like, what am
I going to come across here?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And you're like, yeah, but you're gonna come across talks
like saying I'm watched TV and one of the TVs,
one of the TVs I watched.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You're like, wait what, but that's what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So one of those stupid tux was one of those
things of like, you know, I'm going to do everything.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I can to not get botox. I have it scheduled actually.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
But I'm really scared for some dumb reason, I don't
want to go into that.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
We've been to it, literally, talking about that with you
for since we year started this show. You've been five
years you've been talking about should I get botox? Yes?
Or should? And yes is the answer? So but I
have not well five years ago it wasn't the answer,
but now yes, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
A hundred percent, no question, I mean not even a
little bit of a question. I would Okay, that's I
could go on so many threads on this, but so
I I see this TikTok and it's one of those things.
It's called you've seen these that ill maciage. You've seen those.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
The makeup.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, they have makeup and they have all kinds of stuff.
But one of the things they have is quite magical.
And it's this little thing, this little tube of liquid
and you basically painted over your lines on your face
and like it absorbs in and somehow like literally gets
rid of the lines on your face in real time. Okay,
He's like, well, maybe I'll order that. I'm not I
don't like ordering things online, you know, I like to
(13:06):
test everything out, don't make decisions very well.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
But I was like, maybe I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
But then another because I looked at that TikTok, a
different TikTok popped up of something called like doctor Peter
Roth or whatever, you know that line.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So it's some kind of.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Line of makeup creams, whatever, And they had a similar
thing and they showed this TikTok is like the viral trend.
Watch for yourself. So I watch and this lady paints
this stuff on her like eleven on her forehead and
goes away, and I'm like, what, that's not pop, that's crazy.
So I go to the Grove and I go to Sephora,
and I was like, do you have you seen the
(13:40):
TikTok where they make the lines go away and they're like, yes,
we've got it. Come this way. I follow the lady
to where this stuff is, this cream. She's like, let's
try it. Let's do it. Here's how you do it.
You take a tiny bit and you put it on
your eleven, on your the wrinkles on your forehead, and
you just keep making like an upward motion with your
(14:01):
finger until it dries. Right, and she goes, do it
like this. Watch she goes, first, watch this TikTok on
how to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I did that. We did it together. I did it.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I look in the mirror and Stephanie, it's the most
amazing thing I've ever seen. Like everything's got, the line
is gone.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's like a perfect like a like a baby's face, right,
like a baby's forehead.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So then I'm like, oh my god, what the fuck?
This just exists on your shelf. And she's like yep.
So I was like, okay, how much fifty bucks. She's
getting it ready, we're bagging it. We're doing the thing.
We're walking over to the bags. I look into the
mirror as I get to the near the checkout. There's
mirrors all over Sephora, and where that once was, where
it was perfectly smooth, is now like a square of
(14:46):
white chalk that is literally falling off my face. Like
imagine just a white square and it's just flaking off
my face. So I was like, oh, she goes, Oh no,
that is one of the side effects.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I was gonna tell I have this stuff. It's very similar.
It's called like flexiderm or something. It's the same idea
that I got and I bought it because somebody turned
me onto it and I yes, and it like like
I can't explain it. You explained it better than I can,
but it like looks like it's peeling off sort of
in a weird way. It's sort of unwearable to us.
(15:22):
And the lady, the lady, bless.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Her heart, she's just doing her job to sell things,
but she was really trying to make she was going
so fast so that I wouldn't see it because when
she's like, oh, like, it was more like, oh no,
it didn't work on your skin type. It was like,
oh damn it that mirror. Because I really was just
I was going to get the I cream.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I was down. I couldn't believe this miracle thing, right,
And so I just I looked at her like, are
you shitting? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
But I mean I was like, come on, and I
go and then she's like yeah, And I was going
to meet a friend and I go, do you have
like a cotton ball that I can white? I mean,
this is like I can't even go where I'm going
with this. Okay, yeah, let's get this off your face.
So she gets it off.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And then she was gonna sell it to you, yes,
knowing looking at me only because I saw here. Did
she she lose that sale? And so finally there was
a guy she was doing it, and this guy kind
of linger. He also worked there, and he was kind
of watching this whole thing unfold.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And I don't know, you know, I'm just going to
tell you what he I'm going to do an impression,
but I'm not like making fun of him.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
But he was there and I just looked at him like,
I gave him a look like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And he's like, I go, so I just have to
get botox, right, And he's like, yes, honey.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
He even knew.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
He probably felt bad that we're going through this rigamogamarole yes, yes,
Queen's honey, honey girl, honey boo boo. Yeah, you can't
get around the And I've had this conversation with my
last thing I'm gonna say and then I'll be quiet.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
But I texted one of my well, this is your show,
this is your show, girl, our show.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
But I had texted one of my mom's friends because
they all look fabulous in Dallas in their eighties, and
I was like, how do you what cream do you use?
And she's like, slipiller, filler, yes, facelip, And she's like,
you keep asking me this every couple of years. You
ask me this and I tell you the same thing.
Here's the doctor's name, here's the like, here's where, here's
the MEDSPA. Like, you can't there's no cream that's going
(17:18):
to do it? No, I mean, why can't I.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Get that through my stupid, stupid, ugly wrinkled head. Okay,
I'm going to say something here, and you're not going
to like it because you're just because you're just gonna
like you're going to go that's not true. But it's
because the reason why you're having all this trouble is
because you're not at the place where your wrinkles are
(17:43):
show enough for you to like every time you see them,
be like, oh my god, I'm so wrinkled. So there's
just like your your vegan name between Yeah, you're Yes,
you're still little, even though you're you're of the age
where a lot of people have been begetting botox for
twenty years. Your skin looks good. So I think that's
why you're a little bit in denial of like, okay,
(18:05):
but it doesn't like some days I still have good days.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, but it's the eleven. The other stuff is fine.
But I have such a prominent eleven that I can
see it in every picture.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And you can get your elevens done pretty cheaply if
that's all you want to do. All I want to do.
I just can't believe somebody tried to have me. They
tried to take All I want to do is zoom
a zoom zoom zoom in a boom boom.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You've said that before to me, and I do feel
like sometimes I don't take you seriously when you say that,
but you have set you like that is a.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Through line for you.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
That is something why if you you've worked in retail right, yes, No,
I literally just lie.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Why did I just go, yes, yes I have, I
have not because I think I resumed very quickly. My
brain did this thing where I was like, I've had
every job, Yes I have. I'm sure I have. And
then I was like that I took a second to go, actually, no,
I've never worked in retail.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
You never worked for like a clothing place. Yeah, no,
and you're so lucky. I was so bad at it.
I was also fifteen. I had to be dropped off
of that job. I didn't have a license.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Wasn't this didn't you have to bring a clear Yes?
It was at the limited.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
They did not trust us, and also we had to
wear their clothes.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So I just bought one outfit.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I'm like, I'm not spending all my money that I
made like five dollars an hour, I'm not spending it
on your weird shirts.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
So I just wore the same I bought. Like.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
They were like, can you get like a cute dress
or something to wear to work? I was like no,
I was being very Diane Key. I like bought these
weird khaki pants and a button down. It was not cute,
it was very Dilbert. And that's what I insisted. And
then I didn't really wash it very much. That like
smelled really bad, right, right? Did you get like one
(19:53):
more outfit to wear?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Nope?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But I also hated lying to people like this is
these jeans look good? I'm like, no, I really so
you would tell them the truth? No, I would not.
You know, I'm a pleaser. I just hated lying. I
would lie, but I didn't like it. I was like, oh, no,
like you may everyone look so good?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
What see? I would probably just be like, well, yeah,
I don't know. I probably I probably would lie as well.
But I also but I feel like maybe I would
avoid lying, and then just if I got in trouble
for not lying, I would just be like, no, I
was trying to upsell to something more expensive. Mm hmmm,
(20:34):
you know I'd come up with a thing. Well that's
kind of our show. I think what I was just
that actually just reminded me of something that I was
going to tell you. No, we are not at a time.
I'm not even a little bit out of time. I'm kidding.
I'm joking. I'm looking at it. I see it. I know,
I see you, I see you time, I see what
(20:57):
you're doing. I was gonna say, but it was so
wait retail, lying to people, thinking you might lie to
people not working at the limited.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I was skulking too, imagine this. I was not comfortable
in my skin, like really not comfortable. I had a
jew fro, I had like bad skin. I mean, I
really did not want to talk to people. I was
not I did not feel like I was. Yeah, but
they hired you. Who knows why. I'm good at the interview.
(21:31):
I guess I can put on a little show, but
I didn't want to know. I hate that shit.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
When did you decide that you wanted to? Oh, I
think you've told I mean, you've told me this before,
but like you, did you ever think about doing stand
up when you were younger? Not really?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Weirdly, not really because I loved stand up. I loved
like the whole medium. I thought it was amazing and
I was But no, I thought I was going to
be this very famous actress, right. I thought I was
going to be a Broadway star. And then I realized
that I really could not sing more dance, and then sing,
I can't really. I mean maybe at one there was
(22:10):
maybe five years that I could sing, but I when
I listen back, it's it's pretty bad. It's pretty cringe.
I mean, I want that would be my dream. If
I had any dream of being anything, it would be
to be able to like sing same amazingly.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, really like you. I fantasize about it. Yeah, I
always wanted to be able to sing, but I can't
sing at all. Who would the voice be? Who would
the voice be that you would choose if you could
have anyone's voice? Let's try. I was going to joke. No,
I was going to make a joke for the only
jokes I could think of were actually good singers, to
(22:44):
which you'd be like, oh, like I was like barbar
streisand but then of course she actually was like an
amazing scene. I just like want to rule man's raspy
like that. I just feel like.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
And I want we'd want to sing in cursive, just
automatically without having to try, right right?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Darn y're all out things round?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Could you tell me, like your very first time going
on stage what your experience was.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I don't think we have talked about that, and if
we have, we don't remember, so fuck it. It was awesome. Well,
I'd gone on stage before because I had done a
lot of like monologuing. Remember, because I went to the
performing arts high school, so I in a way you
could call the monologue about suicide stand up.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I call it that. Never forget that a camp. But
like your first time, like at a club, Like at
a club, nobody knew it was going to be for
sure supportive.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The first time I did stand up was i'd seen
an ad in like the La Weekly at for like
an open mic at Nora Cafe in Santa Monica, nor
and I.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah I think it was called Nora Cafe, but I
could be wrong about that, but I'm almost positive. And
I had my I was nineteen ninety seven maybe, and
I was pretty fresh to LA and I had my
shitty car. And I didn't tell a single person, didn't
know a single person doing stand up.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Was like, brave is pretty brave. I was just like,
I'm gonna go brave. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I didn't, didn't go with a friend, didn't just just
went down there, found parking. It was a coffee shop,
so I was a little bummed. I couldn't get like
a beer or something. I was like, okay, all right,
I'm caffeinated. Put my I put my number. They drew
my number.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
But had you went out in an act? Yes, I'd worked, Yes,
I had a stand up act ready to go.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I'd written jokes by yourself. Yes, you run jokes by
yourself one hundred percent. Didn't know comics.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
What was your process? Like? Did you sit and so?
I mean you never took a class or read a
book about it. You just sat down and were like, okay. Concept.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
From my memory, I had been going to see a
lot of stand up. I'd been going to Luna Park
and I was really inspired. So I just kept writing
down story ideas, so I had I still have all
those notebooks actually because I can't throw anything away, So
I have the bullet I find them. I have like
the bullet points, and sometimes I would just write it
all out like all squigly.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So I go down and do it. It's like seven
minutes or something.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It goes great, like it got a huge response, especially
for an open mic of other comics basically and in
the audience. Also performing that night was tig It was
my first time doing stand up and she was like you,
so she befriended me, and she did not believe that
I'd never done it, and I was like, I swear
(25:50):
to God. And then we were friends. And then she
told me, She's like, okay, you got to go here,
you got to call this person. She like hooked up
the rest and that was it. Then I like started
going to the improv and I think, oh, somebody told
me about some show at the Comedy Store, and you
just all you had to do is show up once
in your twenties back then and you just remember, well.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
There was an open mic night. I want to say
Monday nights where you could where you could sign up
at the Comedy Store. Oh I didn't, or Tuesday nights,
that's we're open mic night. You did Peterson's though, right,
I never did Peterson's. The Coffee I didn't either, since coffee, No,
I think that was a little either past my time
(26:32):
or you know what I mean. Like I just wasn't
in that group that was like Jane, Edith Wilson, Andy Kendler.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I think I think maybe yeah, Gary Lucy, Yeah, I
think that's where they probably met right doing all that,
But I didn't even know she did stand up.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, for years, totally forgotten that.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Okay, Well now we're just having a car sometimes on
board AF we do forget that we're doing a show.
I'm like, what about was like, hold on a second,
I've got to go talk to my neighbors on hold up,
hold up?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
So your first time? What happened your first time? My
first time was I had wanted to do it for
so long. Okay, I was temping, So I was going
to these horrible jobs through Apple One Temp Services, Apple Temps,
and I'd be like at a reception job. But I
had a roommate. His name was Bruce Chorney. It still
(27:22):
is Bruce Jorney. I still am friends with him on Facebook.
Super nice guy. He had moved out out here from
Pittsburgh and he was good friends with another comedian named
Billy Elmer at the time, and he so I told him,
I really want to do stand up. I did everything
but do stand up. I was friends with comedians, I
(27:44):
cocktail waitressed at comedy clubs. I just was so wanting
to be a comedian, but I was too scared shitless
to try it. So my roommate I gave him. I
sat in my living room and I told him all
of my concepts for jokes. I was like, you know,
when I go to the gym, which was called Bally's
(28:06):
health spot. At the time, I was like, when I
go to Bally's. They used to have at Bally's a
women's section, a men's section, and then a co ed section.
And my concept was I'm like, it's just so stupid,
Like I don't want to work out in the co
ed section because then like they're going to be like, well,
why is she here? You know, it's going to seem
(28:27):
like I'm like hitting on guys. And so he wrote
the punchline, so I just work out on the men's
side so people know why I'm here. And then and
he did that with all of my concepts. He was
an amazing writer. So I would give am i'ld go
oh my god, okay, that's funny that I'd be how
about this, you know, and then it would just be
(28:49):
something else. Oh I had a thing about how oh
my god, this is like this is so stupid. But
part of the joke about the health club was like,
then I'll drive around the parking lot for so long
trying to find the very closest spot before I go
work out for an hour. And then he was like, yeah, so,
but you know what, I came up with a but
(29:11):
it's so stupid. Now I just park as far away
as I want to and I just take the shuttle.
That was the joke. But so I had two minutes
two minutes, and then I went and practiced it all
the time at all my jobs. I would like go
in the bathroom and like I would say it to myself.
I would sit in an office. I would just say
it over and over and over. And then I went
(29:31):
to this club in Westwood called Yesterday's where you could
sign up. It was an open mic. You put your
name on a list. The first time I went. The
first two times I did not get called, so it
was like a random like they put all the names
in a hat and then they would just call them out.
And then I think that the guy had said because
(29:52):
I didn't get chosen, so he was like, next week,
I'll put you up for sure. And so I had
like six rum and cokes in me. I could not
get drunk. I was so nervous. I just kept drinking,
but I was still very sober. And then I went
on stage and I just did my I remember thinking
that it was like doing it in a blackout because
(30:13):
I wasn't drunk up, but I just felt like I
felt like I was in high altitude. I was so nervous.
I couldn't look at anybody, but I got laughs I'm
not sure, and it was like a drug. And I went,
oh my god, I know that was the best thing
that's ever happened to me. And then I was off
to the races. I did it like every night.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
My first joke that I when I did that open mic,
So the first I don't know if it was the
first shook I wrote, but the first one that I
did on stage was and it's so specific. It's not
like a joke that anybody could use. I mean, it
was like I was like, is it bad? I just go,
is it bad if you see your agent as an
extra on Days of Our Lives?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
And it was just a true story.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
And then I told the story about how I saw
my commercial agent in the background of a scene on
Days of Our Lives and I asked him about it
and he's like, oh, guy's got to work, right, So
I guess there is kind of a joke there, meaning
that I'm not bringing in any money as a as
as his talent.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I feel like he's like a joke would kind of
be like, well, he's obviously able to get some people work.
But I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I just told the story. I didn't like ever really
think about like the you know what I mean. I
just told the story and then that got to laugh
because I just saw him at the back. And then
back then I found I told you, I found all
my VHS tapes and I got a contraption that I
could transfer my old stand up tapes even like first time.
That one I don't have first time, but like the
first year. So every little shitty said I used to film,
(31:44):
so I now have that on my computer. And I
used to have the strongest like back then, my Texas
accent was so strong.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So that's so weird too to see myself at age twenty.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Seven with the Texas accent doing these jokes, like it's like,
who is this person?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I'm not recognizable? So fun, I mean, those that was
such an intense time. I feel like no I would
go I would do stand up. I had guts back then,
and I would just go up wherever. We would drive
an hour to go to some fair where you'd go
(32:22):
on after all the regular entertainment and you'd have to
just be like it would be and no one would
be around. But like the other comedians I did. I
remember driving a Fullerton and doing some gig where we
literally stood on top of a giant speaker and just
shouted our act at people just wherever you just go
drive to, like a sports bar, and Pug Penson used
(32:44):
to come around come with me. I was a full
on open micer when Pug was like, be decided he
was my best friend. That's sweet. Though, Then you'd start
getting these gigs where you'd make you'd have to drive
like a full on, like hour and a half. I
did twenty five dollars and he goes with you. Yep,
(33:05):
that's nice. Well, sure he had a massive crush on me.
He just did not ever tell me because he was scaled.
He was a skewed a baby, you do what's skeoed. Yeah,
he still is, just scare the little baby still loves you.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But I think that's kind of sweet actually, because I
guess maybe it's all relative, because there's so many guys
that don't support you at all. Like at least this guy,
at least he thought you were funny. At least he
liked the right things about you, and not just some idiot.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I don't know, I never thought I was funny. I
don't recall him telling me I'm funny.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I told you this, I told you this. I asked
him when when we had our thing, when we were dating,
I said, can you give me two compliments? Because you
would never give me compliments. So I literally emailed that
to him. I was like, I'm having a bad day.
I need two compliments. And he wrote back, you're something
like you're cute. No, he just wrote, you're smart, and
you're white hot like meaning like red hot, but.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
No, meaning you're white. You really liked that about.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Your Caucasian here's what it is, Caucasian, and you're not fat. Congrats.
He did not say that. We are not saying that.
Stephanie said it. That's not my fault and I cancel me.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
But no, but I was.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I felt really sad because he didn't say I was funny.
Isn't that funny in and of itself? Like I was like,
really hurt.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Well it's because he's shitty, because he's an asshole.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Well, he wasn't being an a I mean, I asked
for two compliments. I can't choose what the compliments are
to be fair, but that's what I but.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It does mean that he was sleeping with a comedian
who he probably didn't think was that funny, or who
he never saw he was withholding and wouldn't tell you
you were funny. Yes, I mean I was dating these
you know, and we've definitely talked about this before and
read journal entries about it. But I would date these
comedians and they were not interested. They were just interested
(34:59):
in me telling them they were funny, but they were
not interested in watch coming and watching me do a set.
They would make me go watch their sets with them, yep,
And I would, and I would feel very honored and
I would go with like and be like, oh my god,
you were so funny and I love this about your
set and I love this and this joke. And then
(35:20):
they would never offer to come with me, and if
they did, they would just be totally quiet afterwards.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Oh my god, yes, yes, Or I had the ones
that were sometimes they were like that but also jealous.
It was fun where it was like he never we
never talked about my stuff whatever. And then I got
Montreal and he'd been doing it ten more years than
I had, and I got just for just for laughs,
and he was furious, like fuming. Couldn't even hide it.
(35:45):
I just couldn't hide it. And yeah, people say the
comics say the darnedest things.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Comedy man, Dude, you know comedians are not the best
people to date, and that's going to be a crazy
You could take that you, you can take that advice
with you.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
I would say I think number one people to date
is musicians because here's why. They don't have any diseases.
They're super consistent, they have no addiction issues. Would you
agree with that?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Like musicians, I would say that that's that's for sure.
Also probably puppeteers. I would totally date a puppeteer.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Now, I think, do you want to hear something really
terrible that I just realized about myself. I will not
go out with someone on like an online dating app
if they use the word in any way to describe themselves,
like trying to trying.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
To reach their goals.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
If they use the word goals g O A LS
in the dating app, I'm out?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Is that weird? Like, well, why what do you?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I'll give you an example? Yeah, please do back example.
Hold on, let me see if I can call it up.
I don't know, just like what a weird place like, Hey,
it'll like on Hinge it'll have like an about me section,
you know, like they'll describe themselves and they'll be like,
I'm just looking for someone who's just like always looking.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
To reach their goals. Would you date that guy? Oh,
you would not date that guy? I guess. I just like,
what do they mean, Like you're trying to like you're
running marathons and trying to beat.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Your personal time. Like what kind of goal? Any goals?
Is weird to say in your dating app? That's like
such a business speak. Yeah, I guess so unless they're
used to date, unless they're scared because they've dated women
or men depending on their inclination, who had like no goal,
Like who were just like, Yeah, I just like to
(37:35):
you know.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
I don't have any goals. I don't want you know,
I don't want anyone looking at my goals. I don't
like the word goals. I think it's weird. I just don't.
I don't why because you do have goals and because
you work so hard. Well, my friend, my friend and
I hate my friend had a very funny thing about
I think I've told you this, but on Hinge, one
of the other things you can do is record yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
There's like a little thing where you can be like, hello,
my name is blank, so you can hear the person's voice.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Which is pretty cool. God, I'd record it like four
thousand times that I didn't do, and then I'd erase
it and then go, god, I don't sound like that?
Do I sound like that? But I think five people
listen to it and go, do I really sound like that?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
You kind of wouldn't because you lose the will to
live really fast when you're on these apps.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I just didn't even do. I don't use that feature.
But sometimes I'll listen to guys, you know, they're them like,
oh what does he sound like? And if they're too earnest,
like a guy will be like this and he'll have
like a really close and he'll be like, some of
my green flags are and then I'm just no, immediately, yeah,
green flags.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
And it's just very like intentional bachelor speak. We are
but you know, do you but do you get like,
are there some people Well okay, I just have to
tell you one other thing and this is just this
is just a personal life thing. Okay, Okay, so like hmm,
(38:58):
making sure that I'm not going to like myself in trouble.
I just think that a lot of people in general
do not have a good sense of humor. They just don't.
And it's not that I think like, oh, I'm the
funniest person on the planet, but there are certain things
that you have to think to yourself, like you have
to know I was kidding, Like I can't always go
(39:18):
like I'm just kidding, but of course, yes, okay. For instance,
this is just a little For instance, a friend of
mine at a birthday, I gave them a little flower,
and also I gave them a card, and in the
card I gave them a dollar. I put a dollar
in it, which is I don't to me, that's just
(39:40):
like funny. It's not like uproariously hilarious, but it's it's
not coded in any way. It's just like it's just
kind of funny. So I got a text from her
and she was like, oh, thank you so much for
celebrating my birthday with me. What was the dollar? What
did the dollar mean? Oh my god. But it's not
it's not her fault, like she's super nice. And I
(40:03):
really had to realize most people don't have a good
sense it. Most people don't automatically assume like you're being funny.
So then I wrote back, I wrote, she texted that
to me. She goes, hey, girl, thanks for celebrating my birthday.
What does the dollar mean? And I said, it's just
funny and then I said, but it's but not five
dollars because you're not worth a whole five And then
(40:23):
I had to do a cry a laughing emoji face no,
and then she wrote I laughed at me, saying, yeah,
you're not worth five dollars. But she did not like, Woul,
Didn't you think it's kind of funny if you got
a dollar in a birthday car? Of course? But you're
a comedian, why don what? And I just noticed because
I went to this little function today this morning, that
(40:44):
you know what it was. And I was just like
making little jokes here and there, and people were just
kind of kept looking to my face to see if
I would And I know that I'm very deadpan, I
know that, but I was being like genuinely like doing
it with comedic timing and being funny and people it's
never was joking. That's exhausting. So I hated for most
(41:07):
guys like that on the dating apps, so are is
it really exciting? They're actually funny.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
There was one that just happened, and I feel bad
telling you this, but I'll just tell you because like
I don't know his name or anything.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I don't remember. Okay.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
He had done the audio like one of the on
the audio thing, you can do a prompt. So one
of the prompts was guess this song and his So
I played his audio thing and it was just the
sound of like a cars going by, and I thought
that was kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
It was like, oh, that's so absurd. I like it.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
So I wrote to him. I wrote, oh, is it
Stairway to Heaven? So Joe right.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I was like, oh, you already have some banter and
this just happened.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
He wrote back like, no, no, I just recorded the
sound in my street.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And he's not joking though, like if it's a level
of absurdity, yes, but he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
He's like, I like to do that sometimes just to hear, like,
but it's interesting that you heard Stairway to heave it.
I was like, oh, oh no, and not his fault,
like super cute and whatever, and was just doing a
different thing.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
We all think we all project whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Our stuff is good and bad on people like we're like,
well we're funny, so they're funny.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
We assume that he's coming from a funny place, but
like he just wasn't. He was going, I don't know
how man, you right, but I don't know how you
I don't know how saying was that, Oh that's so cool?
Is that stairway to heaven? I don't know how you
could possibly not know that that's a joke. There's no
way to not know that, you're he's such a genius
that he's joking back like no, no, no, good, guess no,
(42:32):
because I'm sure of it because most people are not funny,
and that's what this is. Maybe he's just a genius.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Maybe he's so funny that that was the joke, like,
oh funny, good, guess no, that was I am.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
But then he would have said something else, had he
been being funny back, Yeah, he would have said like actually,
he would have gone like are you being serious? Right?
Though he would have been like that's obviously the theme
from taxi, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yes, yes, yeah. I was so disappointed. I was like, oh,
I wish you well, But I didn't write that.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
I just you would have been like, we're not right
for each other because that was the theme from Taxi,
and like, I thought, like, it's one of my absolute
favorite songs.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
You know, I'm not asking for much. The tiniest little
bit of banter exactly. That could you write for these guys?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Like that was? It was jarring. I mean, the joke
was so easy for me, Like, is it a stairwoid?
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Hev and he's like, no, no, no, actually it's just
me recording some cars passing by. Oh okay, so it's
not stairway to Heaven, then, Louck, I hope you didn't
hear this.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
You never You know what, if he hears this, you
are one hundred percent doing him a favor. I know
you're seeing him be funnier, be funnier, be funnier. Guy,
I don't know. Now, here's a way that you could
be funnier.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
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Speaker 1 (43:54):
Oh my god, you will be so funny after a
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Speaker 1 (44:47):
That's Via. Yeah, and you know what, Yeah, we should
say hi to our friends, but I wanted to say also,
if you're not on our board a.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
F Patreon, and I know a lot of you are,
but a lot of you aren't. If I may, yes,
you may, well, I may, and I will. You're missing
some gold. And I'm not just saying that. Like, we
work real hard over there, a lot harder there than
we do here. And it's only to get the bonuses.
To get a bonus every single week. It's only five
(45:19):
dollars a month. Yes, correct, that's like, that's pretty cheap.
We know that lots of money goes everywhere and all
the apps and all the things, and we totally get that.
But if you want to throw a little one more
app one more thing, please throw it to us, because
we're doing the lord's work over there. We are like
our friends here at the ten dollars level. Actually, if
(45:40):
you want to do that per month, like David Becker
does that, I mean, hello money bags.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Carolyn Basti, Silvano, Jemetti ooh hello, hello, hello Hello, Andrew
Green and call it rock. And Patrick Price my friend,
he is the cutest dog. And Julie Turnbull, Oh my gosh, Julie. Hi,
I see Julie every week. She's in my writing class.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Hi, Julie Turnbull. Yeah she's really blake. Yeah, well that's see,
and let's tell in Vitreya Blake. Well that is also
good at whatever she likes to do. Andrea Crawford, Richard Frolicker,
Jean Vajepe, Harrie Maller, Take Us.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Home, Aaron Johnson Watson, Stephanie Rinker, Jills Shaw, Stephanie's been
in my writing class, Athoenig Insured, Sean Price and Kate
Donado and then our fabulous twenty dollars level. They get
a business shout out every week, like Becky Barris who
makes T shirts and mousepads and mugs and you just
can go find her at just basic beecky dot com
(46:39):
or on Facebook. She's basic Becky.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yes, and our friend Randy Mayames, who do you think
we should she uses her shout which you guys can
do as well for a charity of our choice.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
You know what we should do ASPCA. I love that art.
We love our doggies. Our doggies are getting old and
we just love them so much, we just like want
to just like ooh, Google, I can hug them to death, yes,
but not to that, not to that.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
But yes, you can help other dogs, help them find homes,
help them get like neutered and spade and all the
things that they need to be doing, and get their
shots and get well, yes right, it's not just dogs,
it's cats, it's pigs.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Yeah yeah, all right, guys, we love you, we thank you,
we're sorry.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I'm not sorry, and I honestly you owe me money
for saving you fifty dollars for not getting that weird
stuff to put on your face.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah, thank you. Okay, bye bye
Stuck at home, bored and alone. You'd think I could
have some fun on my own button all I called
af with Cecily and Stephanie. What's up, everybody? It is
bored a f Honestly, I'm gonna be for real, for
(00:25):
real with you guys, Like for real. This is probably
my favorite show to do because a lot of the
it's fun, it's it's chill, it's like so chill, and
the other shows we do depend on watching, like bad
TV shows, which, from your perspective as a listener, I'm
sure that's fun because you know you can just sit
(00:47):
back and watch the show on your own time and
listen to us make fun of it. So good for you.
I'm glad like life works out that way for you.
But we have to actually watch them and take notes.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, like here in ways we take notes as we
walk around the world. We're like, oh that's interesting, that's
a bord af thing. Yeah, that's a boarding.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Then I forget and then I, like I used to
do with stand up.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I would not write down the notes, or I'd write
them on an old, crumpled napkin and then throw out
the joke.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I was never very organized, never I know not so
many times I see things like in the world and
I think, oh my god, like that or you know,
you know what it is? Actually, Oh my god, this
is so this is I've been meaning to tell you
this anyway. Sometimes I'll see a comedian do a joke
(01:37):
like I on you know, Instagram or something, you'll you know,
subscribe to comics, and I'll be like, oh my god,
Like that's that's like I should have I should still
be doing stand up because oh yeah, because I'm like,
those are the kind of things that I just that
you and I like say in conversation to each other,
m hm, do you know what I mean? And I'm like, God,
that person is just doing that as like their stand
(01:59):
up act.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
God.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
But also some of them are still so and You're like,
why didn't I try harder? That's like all you have
to do is just do it. Yes, I really have
to do That's.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
What I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it's
such a waste that I was always like, ah no,
it has to be the greatest joke and it doesn't
just has to be like a funny thought you have.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
You just have to get like a facelift. Here's what
we have to do. We have to get a lot
of filler, try to look crazy young. I think it's
I think stand up is wasted on the youth.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Is that a thing? I think it is? These these
these kids these days, man, these comedians, these young comics
these days, they have so much confidence.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
They have too much confidence because there's not as much
talent to back it up half the time.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But some of them are funny. Like sometimes I'll see
somebody and I'll be like, Oh, this person's funny. It's
their delivery. And then I'm like, you know what, I
had funny delivery. I'm just going to pat myself on
the back for a second and go, I got my
own jokes. I understand how to do the timing. It's
just that I thought every joke had to be the
greatest fucking joke that's ever been written, or I wouldn't
(03:06):
want to do it. That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I never had that problem, I mean even a little bit,
not even a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, and you're a good comedian, just.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
A different kind of comedian because I think, my I
we're not going to talk about this whole thing again.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
As we've done this million times.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
We have talked about this so many times, but I'm
just gonna say this, you were more of a joke writer,
or are more of a joke writer. And I came
up in the storytelling Janine garofflo age, even though you
did as well and you liked that stuff too, But
that was when I first started doing stand up. That's
all that you did. You told a crazy story about
your agent, you know what I mean. It was like,
that's that was my stand up. That's what I loved,
(03:48):
mom stuff, but that it was long stories. There was
no joke rafting really not really. Like sometimes I would
get together with some of my friends who I'm still
very good friends with, like Greg Moore and you know,
and he's like he's like the kind of comic and
he's a headlining comic now, but he actually opens for
Nate or GHATSI.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You know, yes, yes, Nate Jesus Middle he opens for him.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
He's like in Europe, he went to Europe with him
on their like they're real good riend. He's got a
great career. As my point, Greg has a bunch of specials.
He's done really well. But he would sit for hours
and write and I'd be like, what are you doing?
Let's go drink and he's like, no, I don't even
like to drink that much. I've never been a big drink.
It would be like, what do you and then he
(04:32):
would try to get me. He used to do the
thing where he'd get other comics, and I think Henry
might have been part of that at one point, where
he'd want to go to the deli, like he'd want
to go to Green Blats like old Jewish comics and
write and I was so bored.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I was like, are they going to be cute guys?
And he's like, oh, well no.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No, none that you haven't already slept with could be
his reply. I'm like and then I would go and
get bored and like get like a glass some wine
at like two in the afternoon. I just didn't understand
the assignment. And now he's done very well as a comedian,
and I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Okay, the hard work, okay, but I'm going to push
back because I was like that and I am not
doing well as a comedian. Obviously I have doing it, yeah,
because it wasn't going well. So I didn't stop, like
at the height of my like things are going great.
I want to quit while I'm ahead? Was it like that?
(05:28):
It was like, Oh, this is never going to work.
I'm never going to be a famous comedian. What am
I doing? And I think I'm going to try to
get a job working on a shitty TV show? I mean,
it was timing out. It's timing. It was tedious. Things
changed in your life. You got married and had kids.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
That's a different look for like Greg, Yes, but continue
you know it didn't matter.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, but I'm not trying to like, I'm not trying
to argue like against myself, but I'm just being I'm
just being honest. Like, No, I took it seriously. First
of all, I didn't really come up. Well. I came
up a little bit before you, for sure, And there
was there. Alternative comedy wasn't a thing when I started.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
That's what I'm saying. I know you always liked it,
but that wasn't your thing.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
For sure. I liked it.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I had a stand up way before I did, for sure.
I mean my first time doing stand up was ninety
seven or ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah, so and I was probably like ninety okay, I'm
assuming I moved to LA in eighty six. Yeah, probably
around like nineteen ninety. I started nineteen maybe even earlier.
I don't know, yeah, maybe like right before. That doesn't
really matter. The point is I'd been doing stand up
for a few years open mic nights, writing joke jokes,
(06:46):
and then later I mean, I've been doing it for
a while when like Jinny Garofolo came on the scene.
But she also had jokes when I first used to
see her, Like, she had a joke like the joke
about seeing someone at Renfair and they take themselves really
seriously and she's like and they're like yeah, They're like,
(07:07):
She's like, can you can you tell me what time
it is? And then the pray tell which is time?
And then she's like, listen, you're wearing a swatch.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, So the joke was. The joke was, where can
I get a diet coke? Pretty tell is a diet coke?
Oh my god, you're wearing a swatch? Yeah, that was
the joke, I think, yeah, or she may have changed
it a few times back when she would. I saw
her on like HBO Comedy Special in the eighties and
I was like, that's the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen.
I didn't even know that could exist, but no, you're right,
(07:34):
she did sort of have more of an act. But
then when the Luna Park, well Largo wasn't yet a thing,
but Luna Park started. That was all those guys like
Patten and Bob and David and they would just go
up and and I've said this before, but my favorite
was of all of them was Julia Sweeney, who told
the best stories. You guys know where is Pat from SNL,
(07:56):
But my god, she is the most brilliant freaking writer
and she's so delightful and she's who I wanted to be. Yes,
that's exactly Kathy Griffin, all those people. So yeah, and
then I don't know when that went away, but it
definitely went away.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
But I stopped doing well. So I just wasn't doing
well as a comedian. It's not even that I wasn't
doing well, but I was always just so hard on
myself and like always felt like I had to kill
or right now. And I came up, like I said,
at a time where people like I can't even tell
(08:29):
you like the different names of the comedians, but they
were all kind of old school, and I just remember
having to go up after a lot of those people
and just go I just Gallagher two. Gallagher two. I
had to put a tarp. I had to put on
a tarp. And then I'd be like, you're not even
Gallagher one, Like why do I have to get a tarp?
(08:50):
And then nobody would Shang.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I'm probably I had to go after Shang on like
a very important thing.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
It was like Aspen, like Aspen audition.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I was like, why are you.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Gonna put after Shang?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
You guys, we haven't talked about this. He was a
very high energy guy that would just like have sex
with a microphone.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Well. He also had a thing, okay, so Craig Shoemaker head,
I'm the love master baby, and he'd get a black
voice and it was so offensive and awful even back then.
But Shang had something where he called himself like the
dick master or something. Yeah, and then I would make
fun of him to his face because I was kind
of friendly with him, and he'd be like stop it,
and I'd be like, do the dick master thing. That's
(09:28):
so funny, and he'd just be like stop it. And
I do think there was a time where he was like,
I don't want to do that joke anymore. I don't
want to be known for that. But it was like
too then he'd have to lapse into it because you know,
I feel like he got to get a laugh. That
is good. What's Shane up to? Now?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What do you think? Let me look him up, let's
see what. Let's see. Is he still still going Sha Forbes?
We had a last name? Yeah, I'm pretty sure did he?
Oh yeah, he comes up Shang Forbes. Why didn't he
use his last name?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
It's just cool, Like, if your name's Shang? What what?
What do he got used for a name? We have
a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
We have eleven mutual friends, which I would think we'd
have more. Is this the same guy or there can't
be more than one? Yeah, you're one of our mutual friends. Yeah,
now this is him. He's working busy month. He says
he's doing Linwood. Shit, got some Fresno shows going. Oh yeah,
that's he's ruining everybody's lives like bit by bit. And
I don't mean the audience, I mean the other fucking comics.
(10:28):
Oh well, that's Shang.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The cover of his cover is Shang is Shngry, and
it says the comedy special available now at Amazon Prime.
And it's just a picture of him with like a
bandana around his head and it's like his hands are
in fists and he's just got an open mouth, like ah,
I want to say this about him. We're not really
(10:49):
making fun of Shane because he goes very well, great jokes.
He seems nice.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
He also has an anti Trump thing, which I like,
like he's on the right side of things.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So you know what I've turned around. I'm not making
fun of Shang. We're just making fun of comedy of
comedians that started back then and are still doing that,
still doing it t mecula. I mean, listen, do what
makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I live in a like like Squalor, so we're all
we're so.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I have a I have an interesting story for you.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay, okay, this is this is an old yeather a round.
This is an old bored a f story. Right, okay,
ready you're hanging in. You're good, Yes, you're ready. I
went to the grove.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
You know, it's like never.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Good when it starts with the grove. All right, Okay,
let me go back a little bit on TikTok. I
had seen one of those tiktoks. It's weird that like
the TikTok is the place that you see the TikTok.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, so you're on TikTok and you're like, what am
I going to come across here?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And you're like, yeah, but you're gonna come across talks
like saying I'm watched TV and one of the TVs,
one of the TVs I watched.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You're like, wait what, but that's what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
So one of those stupid tux was one of those
things of like, you know, I'm going to do everything.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I can to not get botox. I have it scheduled actually.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
But I'm really scared for some dumb reason, I don't
want to go into that.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
We've been to it, literally, talking about that with you
for since we year started this show. You've been five
years you've been talking about should I get botox? Yes?
Or should? And yes is the answer? So but I
have not well five years ago it wasn't the answer,
but now yes, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
A hundred percent, no question, I mean not even a
little bit of a question. I would Okay, that's I
could go on so many threads on this, but so
I I see this TikTok and it's one of those things.
It's called you've seen these that ill maciage. You've seen those.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
The makeup.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, they have makeup and they have all kinds of stuff.
But one of the things they have is quite magical.
And it's this little thing, this little tube of liquid
and you basically painted over your lines on your face
and like it absorbs in and somehow like literally gets
rid of the lines on your face in real time. Okay,
He's like, well, maybe I'll order that. I'm not I
don't like ordering things online, you know, I like to
(13:06):
test everything out, don't make decisions very well.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
But I was like, maybe I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
But then another because I looked at that TikTok, a
different TikTok popped up of something called like doctor Peter
Roth or whatever, you know that line.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
So it's some kind of.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Line of makeup creams, whatever, And they had a similar
thing and they showed this TikTok is like the viral trend.
Watch for yourself. So I watch and this lady paints
this stuff on her like eleven on her forehead and
goes away, and I'm like, what, that's not pop, that's crazy.
So I go to the Grove and I go to Sephora,
and I was like, do you have you seen the
(13:40):
TikTok where they make the lines go away and they're like, yes,
we've got it. Come this way. I follow the lady
to where this stuff is, this cream. She's like, let's
try it. Let's do it. Here's how you do it.
You take a tiny bit and you put it on
your eleven, on your the wrinkles on your forehead, and
you just keep making like an upward motion with your
(14:01):
finger until it dries. Right, and she goes, do it
like this. Watch she goes, first, watch this TikTok on
how to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I did that. We did it together. I did it.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I look in the mirror and Stephanie, it's the most
amazing thing I've ever seen. Like everything's got, the line
is gone.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's like a perfect like a like a baby's face, right,
like a baby's forehead.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
So then I'm like, oh my god, what the fuck?
This just exists on your shelf. And she's like yep.
So I was like, okay, how much fifty bucks. She's
getting it ready, we're bagging it. We're doing the thing.
We're walking over to the bags. I look into the
mirror as I get to the near the checkout. There's
mirrors all over Sephora, and where that once was, where
it was perfectly smooth, is now like a square of
(14:46):
white chalk that is literally falling off my face. Like
imagine just a white square and it's just flaking off
my face. So I was like, oh, she goes, Oh no,
that is one of the side effects.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I was gonna tell I have this stuff. It's very similar.
It's called like flexiderm or something. It's the same idea
that I got and I bought it because somebody turned
me onto it and I yes, and it like like
I can't explain it. You explained it better than I can,
but it like looks like it's peeling off sort of
in a weird way. It's sort of unwearable to us.
(15:22):
And the lady, the lady, bless.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Her heart, she's just doing her job to sell things,
but she was really trying to make she was going
so fast so that I wouldn't see it because when
she's like, oh, like, it was more like, oh no,
it didn't work on your skin type. It was like,
oh damn it that mirror. Because I really was just
I was going to get the I cream.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I was down. I couldn't believe this miracle thing, right,
And so I just I looked at her like, are
you shitting? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
But I mean I was like, come on, and I
go and then she's like yeah, And I was going
to meet a friend and I go, do you have
like a cotton ball that I can white? I mean,
this is like I can't even go where I'm going
with this. Okay, yeah, let's get this off your face.
So she gets it off.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And then she was gonna sell it to you, yes,
knowing looking at me only because I saw here. Did
she she lose that sale? And so finally there was
a guy she was doing it, and this guy kind
of linger. He also worked there, and he was kind
of watching this whole thing unfold.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And I don't know, you know, I'm just going to
tell you what he I'm going to do an impression,
but I'm not like making fun of him.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
But he was there and I just looked at him like,
I gave him a look like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And he's like, I go, so I just have to
get botox, right, And he's like, yes, honey.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
He even knew.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
He probably felt bad that we're going through this rigamogamarole yes, yes,
Queen's honey, honey girl, honey boo boo. Yeah, you can't
get around the And I've had this conversation with my
last thing I'm gonna say and then I'll be quiet.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
But I texted one of my well, this is your show,
this is your show, girl, our show.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
But I had texted one of my mom's friends because
they all look fabulous in Dallas in their eighties, and
I was like, how do you what cream do you use?
And she's like, slipiller, filler, yes, facelip, And she's like,
you keep asking me this every couple of years. You
ask me this and I tell you the same thing.
Here's the doctor's name, here's the like, here's where, here's
the MEDSPA. Like, you can't there's no cream that's going
(17:18):
to do it? No, I mean, why can't I.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Get that through my stupid, stupid, ugly wrinkled head. Okay,
I'm going to say something here, and you're not going
to like it because you're just because you're just gonna
like you're going to go that's not true. But it's
because the reason why you're having all this trouble is
because you're not at the place where your wrinkles are
(17:43):
show enough for you to like every time you see them,
be like, oh my god, I'm so wrinkled. So there's
just like your your vegan name between Yeah, you're Yes,
you're still little, even though you're you're of the age
where a lot of people have been begetting botox for
twenty years. Your skin looks good. So I think that's
why you're a little bit in denial of like, okay,
(18:05):
but it doesn't like some days I still have good days.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, but it's the eleven. The other stuff is fine.
But I have such a prominent eleven that I can
see it in every picture.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And you can get your elevens done pretty cheaply if
that's all you want to do. All I want to do.
I just can't believe somebody tried to have me. They
tried to take All I want to do is zoom
a zoom zoom zoom in a boom boom.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You've said that before to me, and I do feel
like sometimes I don't take you seriously when you say that,
but you have set you like that is a.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Through line for you.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
That is something why if you you've worked in retail right, yes, No,
I literally just lie.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Why did I just go, yes, yes I have, I
have not because I think I resumed very quickly. My
brain did this thing where I was like, I've had
every job, Yes I have. I'm sure I have. And
then I was like that I took a second to go, actually, no,
I've never worked in retail.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
You never worked for like a clothing place. Yeah, no,
and you're so lucky. I was so bad at it.
I was also fifteen. I had to be dropped off
of that job. I didn't have a license.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Wasn't this didn't you have to bring a clear Yes?
It was at the limited.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
They did not trust us, and also we had to
wear their clothes.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So I just bought one outfit.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I'm like, I'm not spending all my money that I
made like five dollars an hour, I'm not spending it
on your weird shirts.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
So I just wore the same I bought. Like.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
They were like, can you get like a cute dress
or something to wear to work? I was like no,
I was being very Diane Key. I like bought these
weird khaki pants and a button down. It was not cute,
it was very Dilbert. And that's what I insisted. And
then I didn't really wash it very much. That like
smelled really bad, right, right? Did you get like one
(19:53):
more outfit to wear?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Nope?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But I also hated lying to people like this is
these jeans look good? I'm like, no, I really so
you would tell them the truth? No, I would not.
You know, I'm a pleaser. I just hated lying. I
would lie, but I didn't like it. I was like, oh, no,
like you may everyone look so good?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
What see? I would probably just be like, well, yeah,
I don't know. I probably I probably would lie as well.
But I also but I feel like maybe I would
avoid lying, and then just if I got in trouble
for not lying, I would just be like, no, I
was trying to upsell to something more expensive. Mm hmmm,
(20:34):
you know I'd come up with a thing. Well that's
kind of our show. I think what I was just
that actually just reminded me of something that I was
going to tell you. No, we are not at a time.
I'm not even a little bit out of time. I'm kidding.
I'm joking. I'm looking at it. I see it. I know,
I see you, I see you time, I see what
(20:57):
you're doing. I was gonna say, but it was so
wait retail, lying to people, thinking you might lie to
people not working at the limited.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I was skulking too, imagine this. I was not comfortable
in my skin, like really not comfortable. I had a
jew fro, I had like bad skin. I mean, I
really did not want to talk to people. I was
not I did not feel like I was. Yeah, but
they hired you. Who knows why. I'm good at the interview.
(21:31):
I guess I can put on a little show, but
I didn't want to know. I hate that shit.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
When did you decide that you wanted to? Oh, I
think you've told I mean, you've told me this before,
but like you, did you ever think about doing stand
up when you were younger? Not really?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Weirdly, not really because I loved stand up. I loved
like the whole medium. I thought it was amazing and
I was But no, I thought I was going to
be this very famous actress, right. I thought I was
going to be a Broadway star. And then I realized
that I really could not sing more dance, and then sing,
I can't really. I mean maybe at one there was
(22:10):
maybe five years that I could sing, but I when
I listen back, it's it's pretty bad. It's pretty cringe.
I mean, I want that would be my dream. If
I had any dream of being anything, it would be
to be able to like sing same amazingly.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, really like you. I fantasize about it. Yeah, I
always wanted to be able to sing, but I can't
sing at all. Who would the voice be? Who would
the voice be that you would choose if you could
have anyone's voice? Let's try. I was going to joke. No,
I was going to make a joke for the only
jokes I could think of were actually good singers, to
(22:44):
which you'd be like, oh, like I was like barbar
streisand but then of course she actually was like an
amazing scene. I just like want to rule man's raspy
like that. I just feel like.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
And I want we'd want to sing in cursive, just
automatically without having to try, right right?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Darn y're all out things round?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Could you tell me, like your very first time going
on stage what your experience was.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I don't think we have talked about that, and if
we have, we don't remember, so fuck it. It was awesome. Well,
I'd gone on stage before because I had done a
lot of like monologuing. Remember, because I went to the
performing arts high school, so I in a way you
could call the monologue about suicide stand up.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I call it that. Never forget that a camp. But
like your first time, like at a club, Like at
a club, nobody knew it was going to be for
sure supportive.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The first time I did stand up was i'd seen
an ad in like the La Weekly at for like
an open mic at Nora Cafe in Santa Monica, nor
and I.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah I think it was called Nora Cafe, but I
could be wrong about that, but I'm almost positive. And
I had my I was nineteen ninety seven maybe, and
I was pretty fresh to LA and I had my
shitty car. And I didn't tell a single person, didn't
know a single person doing stand up.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Was like, brave is pretty brave. I was just like,
I'm gonna go brave. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I didn't, didn't go with a friend, didn't just just
went down there, found parking. It was a coffee shop,
so I was a little bummed. I couldn't get like
a beer or something. I was like, okay, all right,
I'm caffeinated. Put my I put my number. They drew
my number.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
But had you went out in an act? Yes, I'd worked, Yes,
I had a stand up act ready to go.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I'd written jokes by yourself. Yes, you run jokes by
yourself one hundred percent. Didn't know comics.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
What was your process? Like? Did you sit and so?
I mean you never took a class or read a
book about it. You just sat down and were like, okay. Concept.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
From my memory, I had been going to see a
lot of stand up. I'd been going to Luna Park
and I was really inspired. So I just kept writing
down story ideas, so I had I still have all
those notebooks actually because I can't throw anything away, So
I have the bullet I find them. I have like
the bullet points, and sometimes I would just write it
all out like all squigly.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So I go down and do it. It's like seven
minutes or something.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It goes great, like it got a huge response, especially
for an open mic of other comics basically and in
the audience. Also performing that night was tig It was
my first time doing stand up and she was like you,
so she befriended me, and she did not believe that
I'd never done it, and I was like, I swear
(25:50):
to God. And then we were friends. And then she
told me, She's like, okay, you got to go here,
you got to call this person. She like hooked up
the rest and that was it. Then I like started
going to the improv and I think, oh, somebody told
me about some show at the Comedy Store, and you
just all you had to do is show up once
in your twenties back then and you just remember, well.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
There was an open mic night. I want to say
Monday nights where you could where you could sign up
at the Comedy Store. Oh I didn't, or Tuesday nights,
that's we're open mic night. You did Peterson's though, right,
I never did Peterson's. The Coffee I didn't either, since coffee, No,
I think that was a little either past my time
(26:32):
or you know what I mean. Like I just wasn't
in that group that was like Jane, Edith Wilson, Andy Kendler.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I think I think maybe yeah, Gary Lucy, Yeah, I
think that's where they probably met right doing all that,
But I didn't even know she did stand up.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, for years, totally forgotten that.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Okay, Well now we're just having a car sometimes on
board AF we do forget that we're doing a show.
I'm like, what about was like, hold on a second,
I've got to go talk to my neighbors on hold up,
hold up?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
So your first time? What happened your first time? My
first time was I had wanted to do it for
so long. Okay, I was temping, So I was going
to these horrible jobs through Apple One Temp Services, Apple Temps,
and I'd be like at a reception job. But I
had a roommate. His name was Bruce Chorney. It still
(27:22):
is Bruce Jorney. I still am friends with him on Facebook.
Super nice guy. He had moved out out here from
Pittsburgh and he was good friends with another comedian named
Billy Elmer at the time, and he so I told him,
I really want to do stand up. I did everything
but do stand up. I was friends with comedians, I
(27:44):
cocktail waitressed at comedy clubs. I just was so wanting
to be a comedian, but I was too scared shitless
to try it. So my roommate I gave him. I
sat in my living room and I told him all
of my concepts for jokes. I was like, you know,
when I go to the gym, which was called Bally's
(28:06):
health spot. At the time, I was like, when I
go to Bally's. They used to have at Bally's a
women's section, a men's section, and then a co ed section.
And my concept was I'm like, it's just so stupid,
Like I don't want to work out in the co
ed section because then like they're going to be like, well,
why is she here? You know, it's going to seem
(28:27):
like I'm like hitting on guys. And so he wrote
the punchline, so I just work out on the men's
side so people know why I'm here. And then and
he did that with all of my concepts. He was
an amazing writer. So I would give am i'ld go
oh my god, okay, that's funny that I'd be how
about this, you know, and then it would just be
(28:49):
something else. Oh I had a thing about how oh
my god, this is like this is so stupid. But
part of the joke about the health club was like,
then I'll drive around the parking lot for so long
trying to find the very closest spot before I go
work out for an hour. And then he was like, yeah, so,
but you know what, I came up with a but
(29:11):
it's so stupid. Now I just park as far away
as I want to and I just take the shuttle.
That was the joke. But so I had two minutes
two minutes, and then I went and practiced it all
the time at all my jobs. I would like go
in the bathroom and like I would say it to myself.
I would sit in an office. I would just say
it over and over and over. And then I went
(29:31):
to this club in Westwood called Yesterday's where you could
sign up. It was an open mic. You put your
name on a list. The first time I went. The
first two times I did not get called, so it
was like a random like they put all the names
in a hat and then they would just call them out.
And then I think that the guy had said because
(29:52):
I didn't get chosen, so he was like, next week,
I'll put you up for sure. And so I had
like six rum and cokes in me. I could not
get drunk. I was so nervous. I just kept drinking,
but I was still very sober. And then I went
on stage and I just did my I remember thinking
that it was like doing it in a blackout because
(30:13):
I wasn't drunk up, but I just felt like I
felt like I was in high altitude. I was so nervous.
I couldn't look at anybody, but I got laughs I'm
not sure, and it was like a drug. And I went,
oh my god, I know that was the best thing
that's ever happened to me. And then I was off
to the races. I did it like every night.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
My first joke that I when I did that open mic,
So the first I don't know if it was the
first shook I wrote, but the first one that I
did on stage was and it's so specific. It's not
like a joke that anybody could use. I mean, it
was like I was like, is it bad? I just go,
is it bad if you see your agent as an
extra on Days of Our Lives?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
And it was just a true story.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
And then I told the story about how I saw
my commercial agent in the background of a scene on
Days of Our Lives and I asked him about it
and he's like, oh, guy's got to work, right, So
I guess there is kind of a joke there, meaning
that I'm not bringing in any money as a as
as his talent.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I feel like he's like a joke would kind of
be like, well, he's obviously able to get some people work.
But I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I just told the story. I didn't like ever really
think about like the you know what I mean. I
just told the story and then that got to laugh
because I just saw him at the back. And then
back then I found I told you, I found all
my VHS tapes and I got a contraption that I
could transfer my old stand up tapes even like first time.
That one I don't have first time, but like the
first year. So every little shitty said I used to film,
(31:44):
so I now have that on my computer. And I
used to have the strongest like back then, my Texas
accent was so strong.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So that's so weird too to see myself at age twenty.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Seven with the Texas accent doing these jokes, like it's like,
who is this person?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I'm not recognizable? So fun, I mean, those that was
such an intense time. I feel like no I would
go I would do stand up. I had guts back then,
and I would just go up wherever. We would drive
an hour to go to some fair where you'd go
(32:22):
on after all the regular entertainment and you'd have to
just be like it would be and no one would
be around. But like the other comedians I did. I
remember driving a Fullerton and doing some gig where we
literally stood on top of a giant speaker and just
shouted our act at people just wherever you just go
drive to, like a sports bar, and Pug Penson used
(32:44):
to come around come with me. I was a full
on open micer when Pug was like, be decided he
was my best friend. That's sweet. Though, Then you'd start
getting these gigs where you'd make you'd have to drive
like a full on, like hour and a half. I
did twenty five dollars and he goes with you. Yep,
(33:05):
that's nice. Well, sure he had a massive crush on me.
He just did not ever tell me because he was scaled.
He was a skewed a baby, you do what's skeoed. Yeah,
he still is, just scare the little baby still loves you.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But I think that's kind of sweet actually, because I
guess maybe it's all relative, because there's so many guys
that don't support you at all. Like at least this guy,
at least he thought you were funny. At least he
liked the right things about you, and not just some idiot.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I don't know, I never thought I was funny. I
don't recall him telling me I'm funny.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I told you this, I told you this. I asked
him when when we had our thing, when we were dating,
I said, can you give me two compliments? Because you
would never give me compliments. So I literally emailed that
to him. I was like, I'm having a bad day.
I need two compliments. And he wrote back, you're something
like you're cute. No, he just wrote, you're smart, and
you're white hot like meaning like red hot, but.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
No, meaning you're white. You really liked that about.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Your Caucasian here's what it is, Caucasian, and you're not fat. Congrats.
He did not say that. We are not saying that.
Stephanie said it. That's not my fault and I cancel me.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
But no, but I was.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I felt really sad because he didn't say I was funny.
Isn't that funny in and of itself? Like I was like,
really hurt.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Well it's because he's shitty, because he's an asshole.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Well, he wasn't being an a I mean, I asked
for two compliments. I can't choose what the compliments are
to be fair, but that's what I but.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It does mean that he was sleeping with a comedian
who he probably didn't think was that funny, or who
he never saw he was withholding and wouldn't tell you
you were funny. Yes, I mean I was dating these
you know, and we've definitely talked about this before and
read journal entries about it. But I would date these
comedians and they were not interested. They were just interested
(34:59):
in me telling them they were funny, but they were
not interested in watch coming and watching me do a set.
They would make me go watch their sets with them, yep,
And I would, and I would feel very honored and
I would go with like and be like, oh my god,
you were so funny and I love this about your
set and I love this and this joke. And then
(35:20):
they would never offer to come with me, and if
they did, they would just be totally quiet afterwards.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Oh my god, yes, yes, Or I had the ones
that were sometimes they were like that but also jealous.
It was fun where it was like he never we
never talked about my stuff whatever. And then I got
Montreal and he'd been doing it ten more years than
I had, and I got just for just for laughs,
and he was furious, like fuming. Couldn't even hide it.
(35:45):
I just couldn't hide it. And yeah, people say the
comics say the darnedest things.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Comedy man, Dude, you know comedians are not the best
people to date, and that's going to be a crazy
You could take that you, you can take that advice
with you.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
I would say I think number one people to date
is musicians because here's why. They don't have any diseases.
They're super consistent, they have no addiction issues. Would you
agree with that?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Like musicians, I would say that that's that's for sure.
Also probably puppeteers. I would totally date a puppeteer.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Now, I think, do you want to hear something really
terrible that I just realized about myself. I will not
go out with someone on like an online dating app
if they use the word in any way to describe themselves,
like trying to trying.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
To reach their goals.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
If they use the word goals g O A LS
in the dating app, I'm out?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Is that weird? Like, well, why what do you?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I'll give you an example? Yeah, please do back example.
Hold on, let me see if I can call it up.
I don't know, just like what a weird place like, Hey,
it'll like on Hinge it'll have like an about me section,
you know, like they'll describe themselves and they'll be like,
I'm just looking for someone who's just like always looking.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
To reach their goals. Would you date that guy? Oh,
you would not date that guy? I guess. I just like,
what do they mean, Like you're trying to like you're
running marathons and trying to beat.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Your personal time. Like what kind of goal? Any goals?
Is weird to say in your dating app? That's like
such a business speak. Yeah, I guess so unless they're
used to date, unless they're scared because they've dated women
or men depending on their inclination, who had like no goal,
Like who were just like, Yeah, I just like to
(37:35):
you know.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
I don't have any goals. I don't want you know,
I don't want anyone looking at my goals. I don't
like the word goals. I think it's weird. I just don't.
I don't why because you do have goals and because
you work so hard. Well, my friend, my friend and
I hate my friend had a very funny thing about
I think I've told you this, but on Hinge, one
of the other things you can do is record yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
There's like a little thing where you can be like, hello,
my name is blank, so you can hear the person's voice.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Which is pretty cool. God, I'd record it like four
thousand times that I didn't do, and then I'd erase
it and then go, god, I don't sound like that?
Do I sound like that? But I think five people
listen to it and go, do I really sound like that?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
You kind of wouldn't because you lose the will to
live really fast when you're on these apps.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I just didn't even do. I don't use that feature.
But sometimes I'll listen to guys, you know, they're them like,
oh what does he sound like? And if they're too earnest,
like a guy will be like this and he'll have
like a really close and he'll be like, some of
my green flags are and then I'm just no, immediately, yeah,
green flags.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
And it's just very like intentional bachelor speak. We are
but you know, do you but do you get like,
are there some people Well okay, I just have to
tell you one other thing and this is just this
is just a personal life thing. Okay, Okay, so like hmm,
(38:58):
making sure that I'm not going to like myself in trouble.
I just think that a lot of people in general
do not have a good sense of humor. They just don't.
And it's not that I think like, oh, I'm the
funniest person on the planet, but there are certain things
that you have to think to yourself, like you have
to know I was kidding, Like I can't always go
(39:18):
like I'm just kidding, but of course, yes, okay. For instance,
this is just a little For instance, a friend of
mine at a birthday, I gave them a little flower,
and also I gave them a card, and in the
card I gave them a dollar. I put a dollar
in it, which is I don't to me, that's just
(39:40):
like funny. It's not like uproariously hilarious, but it's it's
not coded in any way. It's just like it's just
kind of funny. So I got a text from her
and she was like, oh, thank you so much for
celebrating my birthday with me. What was the dollar? What
did the dollar mean? Oh my god. But it's not
it's not her fault, like she's super nice. And I
(40:03):
really had to realize most people don't have a good
sense it. Most people don't automatically assume like you're being funny.
So then I wrote back, I wrote, she texted that
to me. She goes, hey, girl, thanks for celebrating my birthday.
What does the dollar mean? And I said, it's just
funny and then I said, but it's but not five
dollars because you're not worth a whole five And then
(40:23):
I had to do a cry a laughing emoji face no,
and then she wrote I laughed at me, saying, yeah,
you're not worth five dollars. But she did not like, Woul,
Didn't you think it's kind of funny if you got
a dollar in a birthday car? Of course? But you're
a comedian, why don what? And I just noticed because
I went to this little function today this morning, that
(40:44):
you know what it was. And I was just like
making little jokes here and there, and people were just
kind of kept looking to my face to see if
I would And I know that I'm very deadpan, I
know that, but I was being like genuinely like doing
it with comedic timing and being funny and people it's
never was joking. That's exhausting. So I hated for most
(41:07):
guys like that on the dating apps, so are is
it really exciting? They're actually funny.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
There was one that just happened, and I feel bad
telling you this, but I'll just tell you because like
I don't know his name or anything.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I don't remember. Okay.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
He had done the audio like one of the on
the audio thing, you can do a prompt. So one
of the prompts was guess this song and his So
I played his audio thing and it was just the
sound of like a cars going by, and I thought
that was kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
It was like, oh, that's so absurd. I like it.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
So I wrote to him. I wrote, oh, is it
Stairway to Heaven? So Joe right.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I was like, oh, you already have some banter and
this just happened.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
He wrote back like, no, no, I just recorded the
sound in my street.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And he's not joking though, like if it's a level
of absurdity, yes, but he wasn't.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
He's like, I like to do that sometimes just to hear, like,
but it's interesting that you heard Stairway to heave it.
I was like, oh, oh no, and not his fault,
like super cute and whatever, and was just doing a
different thing.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
We all think we all project whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Our stuff is good and bad on people like we're like,
well we're funny, so they're funny.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
We assume that he's coming from a funny place, but
like he just wasn't. He was going, I don't know
how man, you right, but I don't know how you
I don't know how saying was that, Oh that's so cool?
Is that stairway to heaven? I don't know how you
could possibly not know that that's a joke. There's no
way to not know that, you're he's such a genius
that he's joking back like no, no, no, good, guess no,
(42:32):
because I'm sure of it because most people are not funny,
and that's what this is. Maybe he's just a genius.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Maybe he's so funny that that was the joke, like,
oh funny, good, guess no, that was I am.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
But then he would have said something else, had he
been being funny back, Yeah, he would have said like actually,
he would have gone like are you being serious? Right?
Though he would have been like that's obviously the theme
from taxi, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yes, yes, yeah. I was so disappointed. I was like, oh,
I wish you well, But I didn't write that.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
I just you would have been like, we're not right
for each other because that was the theme from Taxi,
and like, I thought, like, it's one of my absolute
favorite songs.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
You know, I'm not asking for much. The tiniest little
bit of banter exactly. That could you write for these guys?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Like that was? It was jarring. I mean, the joke
was so easy for me, Like, is it a stairwoid?
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Hev and he's like, no, no, no, actually it's just
me recording some cars passing by. Oh okay, so it's
not stairway to Heaven, then, Louck, I hope you didn't
hear this.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
You never You know what, if he hears this, you
are one hundred percent doing him a favor. I know
you're seeing him be funnier, be funnier, be funnier. Guy,
I don't know. Now, here's a way that you could
be funnier.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
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Speaker 1 (43:54):
Oh my god, you will be so funny after a
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Speaker 1 (44:47):
That's Via. Yeah, and you know what, Yeah, we should
say hi to our friends, but I wanted to say also,
if you're not on our board a.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
F Patreon, and I know a lot of you are,
but a lot of you aren't. If I may, yes,
you may, well, I may, and I will. You're missing
some gold. And I'm not just saying that. Like, we
work real hard over there, a lot harder there than
we do here. And it's only to get the bonuses.
To get a bonus every single week. It's only five
(45:19):
dollars a month. Yes, correct, that's like, that's pretty cheap.
We know that lots of money goes everywhere and all
the apps and all the things, and we totally get that.
But if you want to throw a little one more
app one more thing, please throw it to us, because
we're doing the lord's work over there. We are like
our friends here at the ten dollars level. Actually, if
(45:40):
you want to do that per month, like David Becker
does that, I mean, hello money bags.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Carolyn Basti, Silvano, Jemetti ooh hello, hello, hello Hello, Andrew
Green and call it rock. And Patrick Price my friend,
he is the cutest dog. And Julie Turnbull, Oh my gosh, Julie. Hi,
I see Julie every week. She's in my writing class.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Hi, Julie Turnbull. Yeah she's really blake. Yeah, well that's see,
and let's tell in Vitreya Blake. Well that is also
good at whatever she likes to do. Andrea Crawford, Richard Frolicker,
Jean Vajepe, Harrie Maller, Take Us.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Home, Aaron Johnson Watson, Stephanie Rinker, Jills Shaw, Stephanie's been
in my writing class, Athoenig Insured, Sean Price and Kate
Donado and then our fabulous twenty dollars level. They get
a business shout out every week, like Becky Barris who
makes T shirts and mousepads and mugs and you just
can go find her at just basic beecky dot com
(46:39):
or on Facebook. She's basic Becky.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yes, and our friend Randy Mayames, who do you think
we should she uses her shout which you guys can
do as well for a charity of our choice.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
You know what we should do ASPCA. I love that art.
We love our doggies. Our doggies are getting old and
we just love them so much, we just like want
to just like ooh, Google, I can hug them to death, yes,
but not to that, not to that.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
But yes, you can help other dogs, help them find homes,
help them get like neutered and spade and all the
things that they need to be doing, and get their
shots and get well, yes right, it's not just dogs,
it's cats, it's pigs.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Yeah yeah, all right, guys, we love you, we thank you,
we're sorry.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I'm not sorry, and I honestly you owe me money
for saving you fifty dollars for not getting that weird
stuff to put on your face.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah, thank you. Okay, bye bye
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