August 4, 2025 • 25 mins
Why do so many Christians—celebrities and regular folks alike—still struggle with addiction after coming to faith? In this honest conversation, Ruslan and John McCrae (What Do You Meme?) dive into their personal battles with sexual sin, addiction, and the identity traps that kept them stuck. They explore how culture twists our sense of value, how sin hijacks our purpose, and how freedom is possible through a top-down identity rooted in Christ. If you’ve ever wrestled with addiction, shame, or feeling like you’re not changing fast enough, this episode will offer clarity, hope, and a biblical path forward.
🎁: Get a Free 7-Day Trial on Patreon! / kingsdream 🙏: Check Out the Bless God Shop: http://blessgod.shop📖: My Go-To Bible Software (Logos 60 Day Free Trial): http://logos.com/ruslan🆓: Free PDF of the Bless God Prayer Journal: http://blessgodpdf.shop🔓: FREE Freedom Habits (Course w/My Therapist): http://www.mastermyhabits.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You may have seen public celebrities like Justin Bieber,
Kanye, and Lamar Odom make bold proclamations of their faith in
Jesus, yet simultaneously continuing to struggle with
addiction. Not just struggle privately, but
struggle publicly, struggle in ways that would make some people
even question their faith, unfortunately, and we've seen
this be pervasive all over tabloids and behind the scenes
(00:24):
conversation of Christians in Hollywood and Christians and
media. Well, what is the underlying
issue with Christians and addiction, and is there a way
where we can find freedom from addiction and not stay stuck in
the cycle of bondage? Is there a biblical framework
that can help us overcome the very things we know are
(00:45):
destructive towards our faith, our family, and our entire
lives? Well, today I'm sitting down
with my man John Mccrae from theWhat Do You Mean channel?
And we're going to be talking about this very issue.
Guys, before we get into that conversation, I just want to
take a moment to introduce myself.
My name is Ruth. Come on.
This channel exists to encourage, empower and inspire
you to live a life that blesses God.
So this your first time watchingme.
(01:05):
Thank you so much. I'm super grateful you're here.
If you enjoy what you're hearing, do me a favor, consider
liking the video and subscribing.
That really means the world to me.
Also, if you're not new here, you've been watching for a
while, make sure you're subscribed as well.
And I want to let you guys know we got my very first book ever,
but a major publishing called Godly Ambition.
This book really is taking everything I learned in the past
(01:26):
20 years and packaging it in a way to help you get on the fast
track from where I was, which was struggling with side hustles
in debt trying to figure out my calling, to now being on the
other side of that with running this YouTube channel, being a
full time artist and speaking all over the world and
ultimately operating for God's true calling for my life and not
(01:47):
just what I wanted for my life. And that transformation is
exactly what I outlined for you to achieve in this book.
Godly ambition. Unlocking the full potential of
your time, talent and treasure. It comes out September 9th, but
you could pre-order it, get any retailer of your choice and get
the introduction chapter as wellas the first 3 chapters
immediately when you go to mygodlyambition.com and hit
(02:10):
claim pre-order access. So if you're struggling to find
your true God-given calling, youshould absolutely pick up Godly
ambition right now. All right, let's jump into this
conversation. Hey man, thanks so much for
joining us. You've been outspoken about this
idea of Christians dealing with addiction.
Obviously we we cover it on bothof our channels, but you've also
had some personal bouts with addiction and you've had an
(02:31):
incredible story of how you've been able to overcome some
pretty serious addictions in your life.
Would you share a bit about that?
Yeah, yeah. Thanks for having me, man.
So basically I was for most of my life, ever since I was
actually kind of young, I started, I lost my virginity at
a young age. And since then I always had this
(02:52):
struggle with sex addiction for most of my life, like my teenage
years and also my adult life. And it was pretty bad because it
was the thing that I would always be thinking about, the
thing I'd always be focusing about or focusing on.
And it became something that wasjust really just kept growing
into more and more problems as time went on.
(03:12):
Yeah, man, I mean, many people know my story.
I experienced essay at a young age.
I also was exposed to adult media and also lost my
virginity. And so the the tension of being
a follower of Jesus, even after coming to faith and still
wrestling with these things was something that was very real and
prevalent. But I think in both of our
(03:32):
stories we've found freedom in aunconventional way, if if we
will, in terms of how to not continue down those
self-destructive patterns. Yeah, no, I, I think a lot of
this really does start with identity in some sense.
Because when I was younger too, I remember after I lost my
virginity, I was talking with myfriends about it and they all
(03:54):
were like giving me a lot of props and stuff.
They were really excited for me,you know what I mean or what
not. And I think that that's when I
kind of started to develop getting value and identity from
being that guy that was able to hook up with girls when some of
my friends weren't able to for whatever reason.
And so I think with that, it started there.
And I think that that continued to get reinforced throughout the
(04:15):
years of my life. So it became, it got to a point
where it was all I kind of really thought about is my main
goal for life. So I would go to school with the
intent to hook up with girls or find girls to hook up with and
so on. And then I would go to all of my
jobs. I'd be going just to be looking
for girls that I could hook up with and see how that would go.
And it became really a driving for most of my actions and what
(04:38):
I did because I thought it's what made me valuable and it's
part of what made me me and mademe distinct from other people in
that sense. And I think that that gave the
foundation for it to continue togrow more and more and reinforce
that sense of identity and valuethat I got from it.
Yeah, I mean, it's interesting how it becomes a feedback loop,
(04:58):
if you will. This is explored in depth in
Godly Ambition, my second chapter, which I know you've
read the book, but I say this, who you think you are changes
everything. Craig Rochelle once wrote.
What you believe about who you are and who God is determines
how you behave. In other words, your beliefs
about yourself and God shape howyou live.
(05:21):
And so if you believe that the ultimate pinnacle of a young
man's identity is how many womenhe can sleep with, well, then
you will behave accordingly. But if you believe that intimacy
is something that God designed for one man, one woman, covenant
to a marriage for one lifetime, then you will also behave
(05:41):
accordingly. So it becomes this really
interesting feedback loop that Ithink many people struggle with
in terms of the things they believe about the world and the
things they believe about themselves.
Yeah. And also too, it's one of those
things that from the outside, itprobably looks really fun,
right? Like this is how these type of
things work. Sin is like this.
It's like we're in a culture where people reinforce that
(06:03):
sense of value in you too. So it's like, yeah, you're
hooking up with a bunch of girls.
You've got the life. And the reason I'm always
hesitant to talk about this is because there's a couple of
reasons. One, like I don't want to come
across as if I'm bragging in some way or glorifying this at
all. And that's why I want to make it
clear about where this this thing leads, you know?
And the second thing is because I'm not proud of those things at
(06:28):
all. You know what I mean?
It's it's something that I feel shamed with.
And so because of that, I'm hesitant to talk about it a lot.
But like without, I'm not tryingto, you know, brag or anything
like that, but because I again, I don't think it's a good thing,
but I was hooking up with so many girls where it was like,
this is kind of like the life celebrities live.
Like I had different girls consistently, like most nights
(06:50):
and stuff like that. And it was just what I, again, I
dedicated my life and my time to.
And so going back to what you said and what you pointed on
your book, I thought was very good.
This this chapter was so great too, because I think that it did
help to give more of a concrete picture to how this thing works.
But in your book, you talk abouthow, you know, like you just
(07:10):
said, what you believe is what informs your actions.
And then in turn of that, it informs your outcomes.
And so because of that, it's like, OK, I believe that my
value came from hooking up with women or getting girls and that
ability. And so because of that, that's
how I was acting over and over and over.
And then my outcome, it was the outcomes is the problem, right?
(07:32):
It's like for a while, it reinforces the identity.
So you feel good, but then you get to a point where you start
worrying about all of these other things.
For one, it's like, OK, man, I was like always worried.
I was like, I'm probably going to catch, I got to catch
something that's going to be some chronic disease that I'm
never going to be able to get rid of.
Or I'm going to get a girl pregnant or, you know, or even
if not, like all of the emotional turmoil and stuff like
(07:53):
that was very hard to kind of deal with because you develop
this, this sense of security in that.
And then when you realize that it's no longer serving you, you
get to a point where you're like, OK, I don't even want to
hook up with these girls. I'm doing it because this is
what I believe I have to do. And it's the weirdest thing
because it sounds bizarre, but it's just like, well, I mean, a
girl's here. So I guess I have to do it, you
(08:14):
know? And so because of that, like
those, the outcomes of that was really bad on my psychology.
And it was really hard to reshape that too.
I mean, it takes a while becausenow you have to look at
everything from a complete different lens where it's like,
this is what you've known all along.
You know, it's like all I've known all along is this is what
gives me value. So now if I don't do that, I'm
not going to be valuable. And that's that trap that you
(08:34):
get with addiction, because addiction often is the thing
that gives you the solace, whichin turn you realize that it's
just a trap that keeps you trapped, you know?
And and yeah, and it's ultimately leads to these really
destructive outcomes in your life.
Yeah, I think what you're describing, Jay Wonder Wallace
framed it and and gave the language for outside in
(08:56):
identity, meaning that your identity is what you do to the
outside world, right. So if you think about like back
in high school, if you're the star quarterback, then your
identity is you're one of the guys on the football team.
If you're a star basketball player, you're one of the guys
on the basketball team. If you're in student government,
you're one of those folks that helps plan this and plan that.
(09:17):
But the issue with all those identities is their based on
what the external world around you deems as valuable.
And just like folks who played sports in high school, if they
get injured, their identity often shatters and they will
have an identity crisis. In the same way with your value
is connected to the number of women you can be with, which it
sounds like in your case it was celebrity lifestyle, pursuing
(09:41):
music, you know, And I think that that's probably the thing
that kind of gives us a bit of empathy for a Justin Bieber or
for a Kanye is because we know what it's like to be caught up
in some of that, right? That external identity markers
of outside in identity, you're as good as what you provide to
the outside world. And that's how most people kind
(10:02):
of think of identity. So when they're trying to
change, they're chasing the external outputs.
They're trying to change something out there to make them
feel more validated or affirmed by the world.
That's right. And even as a Christian, I mean,
this is the thing. I mean, just because you become
a Christian doesn't mean that all of your struggles go away
instantly. I mean, for me, it was really
hard because I knew that like what I was doing was wrong at
(10:26):
the, at a certain point, you know, even during my, my time as
a Christian. And because of that, like it led
to all of these outcomes. Like I said that it just gives
you more shame which reinforces that loop.
Yeah. And I think the, the, the, the
tricky part is that, yeah, oftentimes we can become
followers of Jesus. We could place our faith in
Jesus, but the entire sanctification process, which I
(10:49):
want to unpack in a little bit, may not catch up to our hearts,
right? Where our heart may be towards
God, but our flesh may still struggle.
And I think that that's kind of what it sounds like you're
getting at, but I think the other side of identity, and I
think it's, it seems a bit more modern.
It's like an inside out version of identity, right?
Your, your identity is what you choose to do, who you choose to
(11:12):
be and proclaim that is your identity.
And that's explored in Atomic Habits and James Clear and he
talks about you don't rise to the level of your goals, you
fall to the level of your systems.
So if you want to change your outcomes, you have to change
your processes in your systems. How do you change those?
You have to change your identity.
But the issue we run into that is an inside out identity is not
(11:33):
anchored on any, anything objective, right?
So in in Tomic habits, he talks about like if people people who
end up being successful in quitting smoking don't identify
as smokers, right? Or people who get results of
fitness just identify as athletes.
But like, what if you still are a smoker in trying to quit
smoking? What if you aren't an athlete,
(11:56):
but you're trying to be in shape?
You've never been an athlete, but you're trying to be in
shape. Your identity.
You can't just lie to yourself about like, I'm not a smoker,
I'm not a smoker, I'm not a smoker.
If you're a smoker, you're stilla smoker.
If you've never been an athlete and you want to lose weight and
change your the trajectory of your life, you're not an
athlete. And so I think that becomes more
of a subjective version of identity that often can be just
(12:16):
as misleading as an outside in identity is a is a inside out
identity. Yeah, no.
And that's a great point becauseif you really think about it, in
culture, the way that we kind ofsee identity is that like you
discover who you truly are by looking to your internal
feelings typically. So it's usually this purely
inside out where it's like, I feel like a woman or I feel like
(12:37):
a superstar or I feel like whatever.
And then you think that you haveto align your life with that in
order to have a freedom, becausethe more that you express it,
the more freer and happier you'll become.
That's kind of the narrative andculture.
But it's what's funny about it is exactly what you said once
you're not living up to those things, or if these things start
causing problems in your life, what not you're going to have an
(12:58):
existential crisis because you're not going to have any
grounding of what you really are.
You know, and it's and identity,I don't think it's something you
can just ignore. It has to be replaced because it
informs how you live your life. And so people don't do good
without any sense of identity. That's where I think they lead
into even bigger problems. So like you said, I mean, what's
great about your book too, is you you do talk about the
(13:20):
concept of getting your identityin Christ.
And I think that's what really changes everything.
And for me, I think it started off with internalizing the
gospel once I realized that actually I should back up and
explain this story too. I've mentioned this before on
the previous episode with you, but I'll mention it again here.
I remember when I went to a counselor because I felt like my
(13:41):
life was out of control and I was becoming a slave to just
hooking up with girls and all ofthat a lot of the time.
And it was just again, me makingthese risky decisions that I did
not that I knew was just like, Igot lucky this time or whatever.
So it's like next time, maybe I could, you know, maybe I won't
be so lucky. And this path was just a loaded
gun. And so I went to a counselor to
(14:02):
talk about and he asked me. He said, he said, what do you
believe about Jesus? And I said, you know, I didn't
really know how to answer it. I kind of just stalled a little
bit. And then he said, what do you
believe about God's grace? And I said, I believe that like,
you know, he could forgive us for sins.
I guess I didn't know what he was getting at.
He said, I believe that God has accepted me so much where I
(14:25):
could go hook up with, I could cheat on my wife or something
like that on every day and stillbe in God's graces.
And that was a very extreme and offensive example, right?
That's enough to offend everybody.
But what I think he was getting out of what he was trying to get
me to see in that moment was once you understand that your
salvation comes not because of how good you are, but because of
(14:46):
the goodness that God lived. Once you understand that and
really internalize it, it opens you up and gives you a freedom,
a sense of identity ultimately where you are valuable not
because of the things you do good or you're not unlovable and
you're not not valuable because of all the things that you did
wrong. Instead, it gives you a sense of
(15:07):
identity where it said it's his righteousness that that saves us
and really locks in our identityand it is not our righteousness.
And that's a point I think that really reshapes and plays in
exactly what you said about identity.
Because once you get your identity, you know that you're
valuable because of who Christ says you are.
Once you know that, then you have a stable identity.
(15:27):
That's not going to break you down when you're you're not
meeting it. It's not going to lead to all
these crazy destruction in your life from your sinful nature.
And it's also not going to make you so arrogant where you feel
so valuable because you're that thing in a sense, because you
can't get super arrogant about that because you didn't do
anything to deserve it. It was a gift that was given to
you. So you can't take pride from it.
(15:48):
And this is what of course, Paulhas given that in Ephesians 289
when he says you're saved by grace through faith, but not of
work. So that way you can boast, you
know? Yeah, no, absolutely.
And again, Jay, Wonder Wallace gave me the words for this,
where where this is a top down identity, right?
So it's not outside in, it's nota inside out, It's a top down
identity that is ultimately anchored not on something
(16:11):
subjective like our feelings or our dreams or our goals or our
passions, but it's based on something objective, which is
the word of God. And then the answer to this is
in the book I talk about the idea of the principle of
replacement or the law of replacement.
So if I'm struggling with something, I need to not just
run from it. I actually need to run from the
(16:33):
thing, the sin and run to the light.
I need to get away from the viceand run to the virtue.
And the best thing we could be doing in terms of building godly
virtue is running to. And I talk about rehearsing our
identity based on the word of God.
So it's not that I want to lose weight.
Therefore, I'm chasing the number on the scale or I am an
(16:54):
athlete. Therefore I do things that an
athlete does. It's that, no, I am AI am the
temple of the living God. My body is not my own.
Therefore, I get to live in a way that honors God with my
body. And that applies to intimacy and
sex, that applies to physical fitness, that applies to mental
health. That applies to so many aspects.
(17:15):
And I think that's the part thatis often a disconnect is that
Christians often know, oh, I shouldn't be doing this.
I shouldn't be looking at porn. I shouldn't be overeating.
I shouldn't be doing that, right?
But we remove stuff, but we don't practice the law of
replacement in terms of replacing the, the bad stuff
that we're removing. And I think it's a, and both and
(17:36):
practicing the principle of replacement, I think is so key.
And, and ultimately what that looks like is rehearsing our
identity on what the scriptures say we are, not what we feel
like or not what the world says.No, that's great.
And I think like you said too, you don't look at it, so you
don't try to change the outcome.And I think this is what Jesus
was getting that too, where he talks about cleaning the inside
(17:57):
of the cup. If the inside of the cup is
clean, then the outside will also be clean.
And that's pretty much, I think what Jesus is getting that is
that same sort of idea where it's like when you just start
cleaning those external things where you're saying, OK, stop
sinning bad Christian, just stop.
You're not getting to the root of the issue.
So replacement of identity gets to the root of the issue, which
(18:17):
then informs your actions. And so this passage in
Galatians, I believe it's 516 where Paul says keep in step
with the Spirit and then you won't gratify the desires of the
flesh. And what is he saying?
He's talking about once you keepin step with the Spirit, that's
the way to combat the flesh, notsaying hey, go try, try harder
(18:37):
not to send bad Christian. You have to change.
Keep in step with the Spirit andthen you won't gratify those
desires of the flesh. And also I wanted to add to what
you said is completely biblical because if you look at a lot of
the letters in the New Testament, most of the time they
don't just tell Christians to say, hey, stop sinning.
Again, bad Christian. What they what Paul is usually
(18:58):
doing too. And I think John's doing this
too. And in first John often is where
first he reminds them of who they are.
He says you're a child of God now act like a child of God.
He reminds them of what Christ has done for him.
Because that's the thing that's going to change your your, the
way that you, your actions. It's going to change those
things because it's coming from a changed heart and a completely
(19:21):
changed mindset of how you're thinking about and approaching
problems in this life. Yeah, Amen.
So in the book I have this, thisis the chapter from Identity.
I say, you may be thinking, wait, I thought God made me knew
when I came to faith in Christ. Am I somehow not fully saved?
Let me be clear, the moment you trusted Jesus, God instantly
saved you, securing your place in His Kingdom.
(19:41):
However, it takes a lifetime to adjust to this new reality.
God and His kindness welcomes usin our messy state, and He's
patient enough to refine us for the duration of our lives.
As He renews us piece by piece, we start to look and sound more
like Him. We could never do this
transforming work on our own. We need the Holy Spirit whom God
has graciously given to all of us.
(20:01):
And so that, that, that, that, that that's exactly it, right?
We were saved, but there's a process that we're now being
consecrated and being made holy,and that looks like a
transformative work, first and foremost on our minds and then
to the rest of our bodies. And that may take longer in
certain areas. I remember when I came to faith,
there were certain things that just instantly seem to kind of
(20:22):
fall away. And there were other things,
man, that like took a long time for God to chisel away.
And I had to cooperate with the working of the Holy Spirit and
in different ways. That just took longer.
That's right. And I like what you said earlier
too, and you mentioned this in your book is reminding yourself
of who you are in Christ, just like how Paul, I think is
dealing in a lot of the letters to the church, reminding
(20:43):
yourself and, and in in your book, you have a list of of
statements that help that are that come from scripture, from
verses, but statements that helpyou to be able to remember your
identity, which I think is superimportant.
Same thing for me. The more that I thought about
and internalize the gospels message of my life and know that
nothing I do is going to make God love me less or more than he
(21:04):
does right now. That is the thing I had to keep
reminding myself with verses allthe time.
And that's the thing that reallyhelped me to change from the
inside out. Amen.
It's not that we work for grace,it's that we work from grace.
It's not that we're chasing to be approved by our works, it's
that because we're already approved, therefore we produce
(21:24):
good works. And I always think about, you
know, your, your father, our kids are, are your boy.
My boy is the oldest, same, sameage.
They're still my Levi's still myson, even if he misbehaves.
But because I'm a good father, he doesn't want to misbehave.
Even when he falls short, he feels convicted.
And he knows, oh, I shouldn't have disobeyed Dad.
(21:46):
I should have listened to Dad, right?
And it's because I'm a good father and he knows that
ultimately my ways are good for him.
And he cooperates with that. But even when he falls short,
it's not like he's kicked out ofthe house and he's gone and he's
banished into the abyss. No, no, no, no.
I love him. He's accepted.
And because he's accepted, he then wants to obey his dad.
That's right. And if you think about that too,
(22:06):
you think about the concept of adoption in the New Testament.
And Paul talks about this in Galatians where he talks about
how we've been adopted into God's family.
And it is like that to some degree where it's like, OK,
we're now in God's family. We're sealed with the promise
from the Holy Spirit, you know, And so it's like now we're we're
in his family. It's no longer about trying to
(22:28):
earn myself salvation or earn a place in God's family.
You're already a child of God. So the message then is to act
like 1. And you want to, because you
want to please him. You're thankful for all of the
things He's done, for giving youthis new sense of identity.
And so because of that, it really does lead into good
works. Yeah, Amen.
That that really is the the goalof what I'm trying to do with
the Godly Ambition book. We're also going to have you at
(22:50):
the Blessed God Summit, which isis is a very similar framework
in that I think people want impact without first having the
proper worldview and without theproper virtues to support the
impact they want to go and make right.
And so I think in in the BlessedScott Summit, you were at this
last one that we just did in 2025 and we're doing it again in
(23:11):
2026. We're going to have you Wes
Huff, KB Ninjas and Butterflies,super dope event.
Super excited to be there with you.
But speak a little bit about your experience there and what
you're hoping you'll see happen at the Blessed Scott Summit.
Yeah, no. Last year was fire.
I think everybody that went enjoyed it, I think for the most
part because I didn't hear anything negative about it at
(23:31):
all. And it was good because it gave,
it helped to foster in a community of believers that are
all impactful in all these different ways.
I mean, I met so many people that were doing all kinds of
things for the Kingdom, people that I've never heard of before
that the summit, which is reallycool.
And so there's a lot of people, there are good people.
All of the people that came that, that that weren't even in
(23:54):
any sort of ministry, they stillhad so many insightful things to
say. Everybody, somebody was learning
a lot. You had, I've never seen a
conference too with having like everybody basically on it.
Like everybody that you see on YouTube was out that conference.
And so I think it was a good andedifying conference.
A lot of people I heard again saying how their perspective on
things change or their lives areimpacted by the conference.
(24:17):
And so I mean, that was Round 1.And so I can only assume that
the next one is going to be evengreater.
So I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, man, the location is is
nuts. It's at the seabird this year,
right in Oceanside, right on thebeach.
Last year we were at capacity at400 people at the West End.
This year we're shooting for 600.
So guys, if you want to come hang out myself, Wes Huff, John
(24:37):
Mccrae, Ninjas and Butterflies, KB Southside Rabbi, be sure to
go to blessedscottsummit.com. Get your tickets, pre-order the
new book Godly Ambition. It would really mean the world
to me. You get the first 3 chapters in
the intra chapter immediately when you pre-order it and go to
mygodlyambition.com to redeem it.
And make sure you subscribe to my buddy John McRae.
What do you mean? Check out his Patreon?
(24:58):
Hey, thank you so much for watching this video all the way
to the end. If you liked it, then hit the
like button. If you liked it a lot and have a
thought to share, leave a comment.
If you are listening to this on the podcast app, make sure to
leave a review and you can even leave a comment over there.
And if you want to watch anothervideo that is recommended just
for you, this video over here, let me know if they nailed it.
(25:21):
Also, you could partner with us monthly, which helps us out a
lot in our monthly community, get access to early drops and
all that kind of good stuff overhere.
All right, I'll see you over there.
You may have seen public celebrities like Justin Bieber,
Kanye, and Lamar Odom make bold proclamations of their faith in
Jesus, yet simultaneously continuing to struggle with
addiction. Not just struggle privately, but
struggle publicly, struggle in ways that would make some people
even question their faith, unfortunately, and we've seen
this be pervasive all over tabloids and behind the scenes
(00:24):
conversation of Christians in Hollywood and Christians and
media. Well, what is the underlying
issue with Christians and addiction, and is there a way
where we can find freedom from addiction and not stay stuck in
the cycle of bondage? Is there a biblical framework
that can help us overcome the very things we know are
(00:45):
destructive towards our faith, our family, and our entire
lives? Well, today I'm sitting down
with my man John Mccrae from theWhat Do You Mean channel?
And we're going to be talking about this very issue.
Guys, before we get into that conversation, I just want to
take a moment to introduce myself.
My name is Ruth. Come on.
This channel exists to encourage, empower and inspire
you to live a life that blesses God.
So this your first time watchingme.
(01:05):
Thank you so much. I'm super grateful you're here.
If you enjoy what you're hearing, do me a favor, consider
liking the video and subscribing.
That really means the world to me.
Also, if you're not new here, you've been watching for a
while, make sure you're subscribed as well.
And I want to let you guys know we got my very first book ever,
but a major publishing called Godly Ambition.
This book really is taking everything I learned in the past
(01:26):
20 years and packaging it in a way to help you get on the fast
track from where I was, which was struggling with side hustles
in debt trying to figure out my calling, to now being on the
other side of that with running this YouTube channel, being a
full time artist and speaking all over the world and
ultimately operating for God's true calling for my life and not
(01:47):
just what I wanted for my life. And that transformation is
exactly what I outlined for you to achieve in this book.
Godly ambition. Unlocking the full potential of
your time, talent and treasure. It comes out September 9th, but
you could pre-order it, get any retailer of your choice and get
the introduction chapter as wellas the first 3 chapters
immediately when you go to mygodlyambition.com and hit
(02:10):
claim pre-order access. So if you're struggling to find
your true God-given calling, youshould absolutely pick up Godly
ambition right now. All right, let's jump into this
conversation. Hey man, thanks so much for
joining us. You've been outspoken about this
idea of Christians dealing with addiction.
Obviously we we cover it on bothof our channels, but you've also
had some personal bouts with addiction and you've had an
(02:31):
incredible story of how you've been able to overcome some
pretty serious addictions in your life.
Would you share a bit about that?
Yeah, yeah. Thanks for having me, man.
So basically I was for most of my life, ever since I was
actually kind of young, I started, I lost my virginity at
a young age. And since then I always had this
(02:52):
struggle with sex addiction for most of my life, like my teenage
years and also my adult life. And it was pretty bad because it
was the thing that I would always be thinking about, the
thing I'd always be focusing about or focusing on.
And it became something that wasjust really just kept growing
into more and more problems as time went on.
(03:12):
Yeah, man, I mean, many people know my story.
I experienced essay at a young age.
I also was exposed to adult media and also lost my
virginity. And so the the tension of being
a follower of Jesus, even after coming to faith and still
wrestling with these things was something that was very real and
prevalent. But I think in both of our
(03:32):
stories we've found freedom in aunconventional way, if if we
will, in terms of how to not continue down those
self-destructive patterns. Yeah, no, I, I think a lot of
this really does start with identity in some sense.
Because when I was younger too, I remember after I lost my
virginity, I was talking with myfriends about it and they all
(03:54):
were like giving me a lot of props and stuff.
They were really excited for me,you know what I mean or what
not. And I think that that's when I
kind of started to develop getting value and identity from
being that guy that was able to hook up with girls when some of
my friends weren't able to for whatever reason.
And so I think with that, it started there.
And I think that that continued to get reinforced throughout the
(04:15):
years of my life. So it became, it got to a point
where it was all I kind of really thought about is my main
goal for life. So I would go to school with the
intent to hook up with girls or find girls to hook up with and
so on. And then I would go to all of my
jobs. I'd be going just to be looking
for girls that I could hook up with and see how that would go.
And it became really a driving for most of my actions and what
(04:38):
I did because I thought it's what made me valuable and it's
part of what made me me and mademe distinct from other people in
that sense. And I think that that gave the
foundation for it to continue togrow more and more and reinforce
that sense of identity and valuethat I got from it.
Yeah, I mean, it's interesting how it becomes a feedback loop,
(04:58):
if you will. This is explored in depth in
Godly Ambition, my second chapter, which I know you've
read the book, but I say this, who you think you are changes
everything. Craig Rochelle once wrote.
What you believe about who you are and who God is determines
how you behave. In other words, your beliefs
about yourself and God shape howyou live.
(05:21):
And so if you believe that the ultimate pinnacle of a young
man's identity is how many womenhe can sleep with, well, then
you will behave accordingly. But if you believe that intimacy
is something that God designed for one man, one woman, covenant
to a marriage for one lifetime, then you will also behave
(05:41):
accordingly. So it becomes this really
interesting feedback loop that Ithink many people struggle with
in terms of the things they believe about the world and the
things they believe about themselves.
Yeah. And also too, it's one of those
things that from the outside, itprobably looks really fun,
right? Like this is how these type of
things work. Sin is like this.
It's like we're in a culture where people reinforce that
(06:03):
sense of value in you too. So it's like, yeah, you're
hooking up with a bunch of girls.
You've got the life. And the reason I'm always
hesitant to talk about this is because there's a couple of
reasons. One, like I don't want to come
across as if I'm bragging in some way or glorifying this at
all. And that's why I want to make it
clear about where this this thing leads, you know?
And the second thing is because I'm not proud of those things at
(06:28):
all. You know what I mean?
It's it's something that I feel shamed with.
And so because of that, I'm hesitant to talk about it a lot.
But like without, I'm not tryingto, you know, brag or anything
like that, but because I again, I don't think it's a good thing,
but I was hooking up with so many girls where it was like,
this is kind of like the life celebrities live.
Like I had different girls consistently, like most nights
(06:50):
and stuff like that. And it was just what I, again, I
dedicated my life and my time to.
And so going back to what you said and what you pointed on
your book, I thought was very good.
This this chapter was so great too, because I think that it did
help to give more of a concrete picture to how this thing works.
But in your book, you talk abouthow, you know, like you just
(07:10):
said, what you believe is what informs your actions.
And then in turn of that, it informs your outcomes.
And so because of that, it's like, OK, I believe that my
value came from hooking up with women or getting girls and that
ability. And so because of that, that's
how I was acting over and over and over.
And then my outcome, it was the outcomes is the problem, right?
(07:32):
It's like for a while, it reinforces the identity.
So you feel good, but then you get to a point where you start
worrying about all of these other things.
For one, it's like, OK, man, I was like always worried.
I was like, I'm probably going to catch, I got to catch
something that's going to be some chronic disease that I'm
never going to be able to get rid of.
Or I'm going to get a girl pregnant or, you know, or even
if not, like all of the emotional turmoil and stuff like
(07:53):
that was very hard to kind of deal with because you develop
this, this sense of security in that.
And then when you realize that it's no longer serving you, you
get to a point where you're like, OK, I don't even want to
hook up with these girls. I'm doing it because this is
what I believe I have to do. And it's the weirdest thing
because it sounds bizarre, but it's just like, well, I mean, a
girl's here. So I guess I have to do it, you
(08:14):
know? And so because of that, like
those, the outcomes of that was really bad on my psychology.
And it was really hard to reshape that too.
I mean, it takes a while becausenow you have to look at
everything from a complete different lens where it's like,
this is what you've known all along.
You know, it's like all I've known all along is this is what
gives me value. So now if I don't do that, I'm
not going to be valuable. And that's that trap that you
(08:34):
get with addiction, because addiction often is the thing
that gives you the solace, whichin turn you realize that it's
just a trap that keeps you trapped, you know?
And and yeah, and it's ultimately leads to these really
destructive outcomes in your life.
Yeah, I think what you're describing, Jay Wonder Wallace
framed it and and gave the language for outside in
(08:56):
identity, meaning that your identity is what you do to the
outside world, right. So if you think about like back
in high school, if you're the star quarterback, then your
identity is you're one of the guys on the football team.
If you're a star basketball player, you're one of the guys
on the basketball team. If you're in student government,
you're one of those folks that helps plan this and plan that.
(09:17):
But the issue with all those identities is their based on
what the external world around you deems as valuable.
And just like folks who played sports in high school, if they
get injured, their identity often shatters and they will
have an identity crisis. In the same way with your value
is connected to the number of women you can be with, which it
sounds like in your case it was celebrity lifestyle, pursuing
(09:41):
music, you know, And I think that that's probably the thing
that kind of gives us a bit of empathy for a Justin Bieber or
for a Kanye is because we know what it's like to be caught up
in some of that, right? That external identity markers
of outside in identity, you're as good as what you provide to
the outside world. And that's how most people kind
(10:02):
of think of identity. So when they're trying to
change, they're chasing the external outputs.
They're trying to change something out there to make them
feel more validated or affirmed by the world.
That's right. And even as a Christian, I mean,
this is the thing. I mean, just because you become
a Christian doesn't mean that all of your struggles go away
instantly. I mean, for me, it was really
hard because I knew that like what I was doing was wrong at
(10:26):
the, at a certain point, you know, even during my, my time as
a Christian. And because of that, like it led
to all of these outcomes. Like I said that it just gives
you more shame which reinforces that loop.
Yeah. And I think the, the, the, the
tricky part is that, yeah, oftentimes we can become
followers of Jesus. We could place our faith in
Jesus, but the entire sanctification process, which I
(10:49):
want to unpack in a little bit, may not catch up to our hearts,
right? Where our heart may be towards
God, but our flesh may still struggle.
And I think that that's kind of what it sounds like you're
getting at, but I think the other side of identity, and I
think it's, it seems a bit more modern.
It's like an inside out version of identity, right?
Your, your identity is what you choose to do, who you choose to
(11:12):
be and proclaim that is your identity.
And that's explored in Atomic Habits and James Clear and he
talks about you don't rise to the level of your goals, you
fall to the level of your systems.
So if you want to change your outcomes, you have to change
your processes in your systems. How do you change those?
You have to change your identity.
But the issue we run into that is an inside out identity is not
(11:33):
anchored on any, anything objective, right?
So in in Tomic habits, he talks about like if people people who
end up being successful in quitting smoking don't identify
as smokers, right? Or people who get results of
fitness just identify as athletes.
But like, what if you still are a smoker in trying to quit
smoking? What if you aren't an athlete,
(11:56):
but you're trying to be in shape?
You've never been an athlete, but you're trying to be in
shape. Your identity.
You can't just lie to yourself about like, I'm not a smoker,
I'm not a smoker, I'm not a smoker.
If you're a smoker, you're stilla smoker.
If you've never been an athlete and you want to lose weight and
change your the trajectory of your life, you're not an
athlete. And so I think that becomes more
of a subjective version of identity that often can be just
(12:16):
as misleading as an outside in identity is a is a inside out
identity. Yeah, no.
And that's a great point becauseif you really think about it, in
culture, the way that we kind ofsee identity is that like you
discover who you truly are by looking to your internal
feelings typically. So it's usually this purely
inside out where it's like, I feel like a woman or I feel like
(12:37):
a superstar or I feel like whatever.
And then you think that you haveto align your life with that in
order to have a freedom, becausethe more that you express it,
the more freer and happier you'll become.
That's kind of the narrative andculture.
But it's what's funny about it is exactly what you said once
you're not living up to those things, or if these things start
causing problems in your life, what not you're going to have an
(12:58):
existential crisis because you're not going to have any
grounding of what you really are.
You know, and it's and identity,I don't think it's something you
can just ignore. It has to be replaced because it
informs how you live your life. And so people don't do good
without any sense of identity. That's where I think they lead
into even bigger problems. So like you said, I mean, what's
great about your book too, is you you do talk about the
(13:20):
concept of getting your identityin Christ.
And I think that's what really changes everything.
And for me, I think it started off with internalizing the
gospel once I realized that actually I should back up and
explain this story too. I've mentioned this before on
the previous episode with you, but I'll mention it again here.
I remember when I went to a counselor because I felt like my
(13:41):
life was out of control and I was becoming a slave to just
hooking up with girls and all ofthat a lot of the time.
And it was just again, me makingthese risky decisions that I did
not that I knew was just like, Igot lucky this time or whatever.
So it's like next time, maybe I could, you know, maybe I won't
be so lucky. And this path was just a loaded
gun. And so I went to a counselor to
(14:02):
talk about and he asked me. He said, he said, what do you
believe about Jesus? And I said, you know, I didn't
really know how to answer it. I kind of just stalled a little
bit. And then he said, what do you
believe about God's grace? And I said, I believe that like,
you know, he could forgive us for sins.
I guess I didn't know what he was getting at.
He said, I believe that God has accepted me so much where I
(14:25):
could go hook up with, I could cheat on my wife or something
like that on every day and stillbe in God's graces.
And that was a very extreme and offensive example, right?
That's enough to offend everybody.
But what I think he was getting out of what he was trying to get
me to see in that moment was once you understand that your
salvation comes not because of how good you are, but because of
(14:46):
the goodness that God lived. Once you understand that and
really internalize it, it opens you up and gives you a freedom,
a sense of identity ultimately where you are valuable not
because of the things you do good or you're not unlovable and
you're not not valuable because of all the things that you did
wrong. Instead, it gives you a sense of
(15:07):
identity where it said it's his righteousness that that saves us
and really locks in our identityand it is not our righteousness.
And that's a point I think that really reshapes and plays in
exactly what you said about identity.
Because once you get your identity, you know that you're
valuable because of who Christ says you are.
Once you know that, then you have a stable identity.
(15:27):
That's not going to break you down when you're you're not
meeting it. It's not going to lead to all
these crazy destruction in your life from your sinful nature.
And it's also not going to make you so arrogant where you feel
so valuable because you're that thing in a sense, because you
can't get super arrogant about that because you didn't do
anything to deserve it. It was a gift that was given to
you. So you can't take pride from it.
(15:48):
And this is what of course, Paulhas given that in Ephesians 289
when he says you're saved by grace through faith, but not of
work. So that way you can boast, you
know? Yeah, no, absolutely.
And again, Jay, Wonder Wallace gave me the words for this,
where where this is a top down identity, right?
So it's not outside in, it's nota inside out, It's a top down
identity that is ultimately anchored not on something
(16:11):
subjective like our feelings or our dreams or our goals or our
passions, but it's based on something objective, which is
the word of God. And then the answer to this is
in the book I talk about the idea of the principle of
replacement or the law of replacement.
So if I'm struggling with something, I need to not just
run from it. I actually need to run from the
(16:33):
thing, the sin and run to the light.
I need to get away from the viceand run to the virtue.
And the best thing we could be doing in terms of building godly
virtue is running to. And I talk about rehearsing our
identity based on the word of God.
So it's not that I want to lose weight.
Therefore, I'm chasing the number on the scale or I am an
(16:54):
athlete. Therefore I do things that an
athlete does. It's that, no, I am AI am the
temple of the living God. My body is not my own.
Therefore, I get to live in a way that honors God with my
body. And that applies to intimacy and
sex, that applies to physical fitness, that applies to mental
health. That applies to so many aspects.
(17:15):
And I think that's the part thatis often a disconnect is that
Christians often know, oh, I shouldn't be doing this.
I shouldn't be looking at porn. I shouldn't be overeating.
I shouldn't be doing that, right?
But we remove stuff, but we don't practice the law of
replacement in terms of replacing the, the bad stuff
that we're removing. And I think it's a, and both and
(17:36):
practicing the principle of replacement, I think is so key.
And, and ultimately what that looks like is rehearsing our
identity on what the scriptures say we are, not what we feel
like or not what the world says.No, that's great.
And I think like you said too, you don't look at it, so you
don't try to change the outcome.And I think this is what Jesus
was getting that too, where he talks about cleaning the inside
(17:57):
of the cup. If the inside of the cup is
clean, then the outside will also be clean.
And that's pretty much, I think what Jesus is getting that is
that same sort of idea where it's like when you just start
cleaning those external things where you're saying, OK, stop
sinning bad Christian, just stop.
You're not getting to the root of the issue.
So replacement of identity gets to the root of the issue, which
(18:17):
then informs your actions. And so this passage in
Galatians, I believe it's 516 where Paul says keep in step
with the Spirit and then you won't gratify the desires of the
flesh. And what is he saying?
He's talking about once you keepin step with the Spirit, that's
the way to combat the flesh, notsaying hey, go try, try harder
(18:37):
not to send bad Christian. You have to change.
Keep in step with the Spirit andthen you won't gratify those
desires of the flesh. And also I wanted to add to what
you said is completely biblical because if you look at a lot of
the letters in the New Testament, most of the time they
don't just tell Christians to say, hey, stop sinning.
Again, bad Christian. What they what Paul is usually
(18:58):
doing too. And I think John's doing this
too. And in first John often is where
first he reminds them of who they are.
He says you're a child of God now act like a child of God.
He reminds them of what Christ has done for him.
Because that's the thing that's going to change your your, the
way that you, your actions. It's going to change those
things because it's coming from a changed heart and a completely
(19:21):
changed mindset of how you're thinking about and approaching
problems in this life. Yeah, Amen.
So in the book I have this, thisis the chapter from Identity.
I say, you may be thinking, wait, I thought God made me knew
when I came to faith in Christ. Am I somehow not fully saved?
Let me be clear, the moment you trusted Jesus, God instantly
saved you, securing your place in His Kingdom.
(19:41):
However, it takes a lifetime to adjust to this new reality.
God and His kindness welcomes usin our messy state, and He's
patient enough to refine us for the duration of our lives.
As He renews us piece by piece, we start to look and sound more
like Him. We could never do this
transforming work on our own. We need the Holy Spirit whom God
has graciously given to all of us.
(20:01):
And so that, that, that, that, that that's exactly it, right?
We were saved, but there's a process that we're now being
consecrated and being made holy,and that looks like a
transformative work, first and foremost on our minds and then
to the rest of our bodies. And that may take longer in
certain areas. I remember when I came to faith,
there were certain things that just instantly seem to kind of
(20:22):
fall away. And there were other things,
man, that like took a long time for God to chisel away.
And I had to cooperate with the working of the Holy Spirit and
in different ways. That just took longer.
That's right. And I like what you said earlier
too, and you mentioned this in your book is reminding yourself
of who you are in Christ, just like how Paul, I think is
dealing in a lot of the letters to the church, reminding
(20:43):
yourself and, and in in your book, you have a list of of
statements that help that are that come from scripture, from
verses, but statements that helpyou to be able to remember your
identity, which I think is superimportant.
Same thing for me. The more that I thought about
and internalize the gospels message of my life and know that
nothing I do is going to make God love me less or more than he
(21:04):
does right now. That is the thing I had to keep
reminding myself with verses allthe time.
And that's the thing that reallyhelped me to change from the
inside out. Amen.
It's not that we work for grace,it's that we work from grace.
It's not that we're chasing to be approved by our works, it's
that because we're already approved, therefore we produce
(21:24):
good works. And I always think about, you
know, your, your father, our kids are, are your boy.
My boy is the oldest, same, sameage.
They're still my Levi's still myson, even if he misbehaves.
But because I'm a good father, he doesn't want to misbehave.
Even when he falls short, he feels convicted.
And he knows, oh, I shouldn't have disobeyed Dad.
(21:46):
I should have listened to Dad, right?
And it's because I'm a good father and he knows that
ultimately my ways are good for him.
And he cooperates with that. But even when he falls short,
it's not like he's kicked out ofthe house and he's gone and he's
banished into the abyss. No, no, no, no.
I love him. He's accepted.
And because he's accepted, he then wants to obey his dad.
That's right. And if you think about that too,
(22:06):
you think about the concept of adoption in the New Testament.
And Paul talks about this in Galatians where he talks about
how we've been adopted into God's family.
And it is like that to some degree where it's like, OK,
we're now in God's family. We're sealed with the promise
from the Holy Spirit, you know, And so it's like now we're we're
in his family. It's no longer about trying to
(22:28):
earn myself salvation or earn a place in God's family.
You're already a child of God. So the message then is to act
like 1. And you want to, because you
want to please him. You're thankful for all of the
things He's done, for giving youthis new sense of identity.
And so because of that, it really does lead into good
works. Yeah, Amen.
That that really is the the goalof what I'm trying to do with
the Godly Ambition book. We're also going to have you at
(22:50):
the Blessed God Summit, which isis is a very similar framework
in that I think people want impact without first having the
proper worldview and without theproper virtues to support the
impact they want to go and make right.
And so I think in in the BlessedScott Summit, you were at this
last one that we just did in 2025 and we're doing it again in
(23:11):
2026. We're going to have you Wes
Huff, KB Ninjas and Butterflies,super dope event.
Super excited to be there with you.
But speak a little bit about your experience there and what
you're hoping you'll see happen at the Blessed Scott Summit.
Yeah, no. Last year was fire.
I think everybody that went enjoyed it, I think for the most
part because I didn't hear anything negative about it at
(23:31):
all. And it was good because it gave,
it helped to foster in a community of believers that are
all impactful in all these different ways.
I mean, I met so many people that were doing all kinds of
things for the Kingdom, people that I've never heard of before
that the summit, which is reallycool.
And so there's a lot of people, there are good people.
All of the people that came that, that that weren't even in
(23:54):
any sort of ministry, they stillhad so many insightful things to
say. Everybody, somebody was learning
a lot. You had, I've never seen a
conference too with having like everybody basically on it.
Like everybody that you see on YouTube was out that conference.
And so I think it was a good andedifying conference.
A lot of people I heard again saying how their perspective on
things change or their lives areimpacted by the conference.
(24:17):
And so I mean, that was Round 1.And so I can only assume that
the next one is going to be evengreater.
So I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, man, the location is is
nuts. It's at the seabird this year,
right in Oceanside, right on thebeach.
Last year we were at capacity at400 people at the West End.
This year we're shooting for 600.
So guys, if you want to come hang out myself, Wes Huff, John
(24:37):
Mccrae, Ninjas and Butterflies, KB Southside Rabbi, be sure to
go to blessedscottsummit.com. Get your tickets, pre-order the
new book Godly Ambition. It would really mean the world
to me. You get the first 3 chapters in
the intra chapter immediately when you pre-order it and go to
mygodlyambition.com to redeem it.
And make sure you subscribe to my buddy John McRae.
What do you mean? Check out his Patreon?
(24:58):
Hey, thank you so much for watching this video all the way
to the end. If you liked it, then hit the
like button. If you liked it a lot and have a
thought to share, leave a comment.
If you are listening to this on the podcast app, make sure to
leave a review and you can even leave a comment over there.
And if you want to watch anothervideo that is recommended just
for you, this video over here, let me know if they nailed it.
(25:21):
Also, you could partner with us monthly, which helps us out a
lot in our monthly community, get access to early drops and
all that kind of good stuff overhere.
All right, I'll see you over there.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!