Turning Difficult Negotiations Into Collaborative Wins, Ep #468

On the show this week, Dr. Christopher Meyer, author of "Settle for More" and one of the Global Guru's Top 30 Thought Leaders in Negotiation for 2025, shares his expertise on the critical differences between negotiation strategy and tactics, and why a strong planning mindset is key to successful deals.

Chris breaks down his unique approach to negotiation—shifting from a traditional "win-win" mindset to focusing on how everyone at the table can truly gain. He shares his favorite negotiation tactics, the importance of preparation, and how to handle those infamous hardball negotiation techniques from buyers.

Additionally, Chris provides us with valuable dos and don’ts for negotiators and offers a memorable real-world example from his own high-stakes experience in the tech sector.

Outline of This Episode

• [00:00] Consider long-term strategy and adapt tactics to each negotiation based on your relationship.
• [04:22] Adopt a gain-focused mindset in negotiation for mutual benefits.
• [07:08] Spend 80% of your time on planning to ensure smooth negotiations.
• [10:12] Focus on building relationships and value, not just achieving quotas.
• [13:22] Mutually beneficial relationships require both parties to gain.
• [17:29] The breakthrough moment shifted Chris’s approach from adversarial to collaborative.

Beyond Win-Win—Negotiation with a Mindset for Gain

Negotiation lies at the heart of successful sales, but too often it conjures images of hard-nosed tactics, adversarial posturing, and zero-sum outcomes. 

One of Chris's most compelling messages is about the mindset underpinning successful negotiation. Instead of getting stuck in old “win-lose” or even “win-win” mentalities, he encourages negotiators to focus on mutual gain so that everyone in the room can gain. Negotiation, at its core, should be about finding ways for all parties to walk away recognizing value, making the process constructive, not combative. This sets the stage for strong, lasting business relationships. When both sides gain, collaboration and repeat business become far more likely.

Favorite Tactics: Trade Offs, Value Creation, and Contingencies

With the right mindset in place, tactical execution becomes nuanced and effective. Chris shares his three preferred tactics:

• Trade-Offs: Look for opportunities to give the other party a gain in exchange for something valuable in return.
• Value Creation: Identify and offer unique, specific benefits in the negotiation that can enhance the outcome for all.
• Contingencies: Structure deals so that additional benefits are provided if the counterpart reciprocates—making negotiations dynamic and adaptable.

These approaches move beyond bargaining chips and price discussions; they’re about co-creating solutions that satisfy both parties’ core interests.

Planning is the Unsung Hero of Negotiation

A recurring theme in the podcast is the overwhelming importance of planning. Chris advocates for an “80/20 rule,” encouraging negotiators to spend 80% of their time preparing and only 20% executing. Deep preparation isn’t just about knowing your own needs, but also anticipating the objectives and potential moves of your counterpart. Thorough planning means you’re never blindsided by tough questions or aggressive tactics, and you’re positioned to create and communicate value confidently. 

When it comes to those famously tricky buyer tactics—take-it-or-leave-it offers, extreme anchoring, and last-minute demands, Chris' advice is twofold: first, be prepared (so you spot them coming), and second, show grace. Rather than meet aggression with aggression, view these moves as products of outdated training and use the opportunity to steer negotiations toward collaborative problem-solving.

Chris’ Do’s and Don’ts for Better Negotiations

Chris offers a succinct checklist for sales professionals:

Do:

• Ask Questions & Be Curious: Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
• Develop Value: Bring as much as you can to the table
• Ensure All Parties Benefit: Winning together encourages long-term success.

Don’t:

• Don’t Lie: Honesty fuels trust
• Don’t Obfuscate: Clear communication prevents misunde