October 2, 2024 • 44 mins
Ever wondered how a simple act of kindness can spark a movement? Join us as we welcome the inspiring Jess Ekstrom, entrepreneur and author, who shares her journey from a Disney World photographer to an impactful motivational speaker. Jess's story begins with a heartfelt experience at the Make-A-Wish Foundation, where she witnessed the power of storytelling through a young girl named Renee. This pivotal moment fueled Jess's passion for helping children with cancer, leading her to establish Headbands of Hope, a business that thrives on spreading joy through small, meaningful actions.
Discover how Jess turns every challenge into an opportunity by embracing the power of optimism and action. By shifting her approach to public speaking, Jess has moved from seeking the spotlight to becoming a lighthouse of inspiration, guiding audiences to new insights and perspectives. Her approach to storytelling is not just about entertainment; it's a transformative tool that can reshape lives and drive positive change. With her book, "Chasing the Bright Side," Jess encourages others to harness positivity and turn their dreams into reality.
Our conversation doesn't stop there. Jess shares her insights into the evolving landscape of book publishing and the strategic advantages of self-publishing. We explore the art of scaling speaking engagements, from leveraging referral networks to crafting compelling marketing materials. As we celebrate upcoming collaborations, Jess reminds us of the power of teamwork and shared goals, leaving us with practical tips and a renewed appreciation for the stories we all carry within us. Tune in for an episode brimming with inspiration and actionable insights.
Watch the free training: https://selfpublishing.com/freetraining
Schedule a no-cost call with our team: https://selfpublishing.com/schedule
Here are some links that might come in handy:
- Apply for a free book consultation
- Register for our free on-demand training
Must-watch episodes:
- SPS 044: Using A Free + Shipping Book Funnel with Anik Singal
- SPS 115: Using Atomic Habits To Write & Publish A Book with James Clear
- SPS 127: Traditional vs. Self Publishing: Which You Should Choose with Ruth Soukup
- SPS 095: The Five Love Languages: Selling 15 Million Copies with Gary Chapman
- SPS 056: How I Sold 46M Copies of My Self Published Book with Robert Kiyosaki
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Get your door hangers in place.
Smash the emojis, because ournext speaker is an accomplished
entrepreneur.
She's an author and amotivational speakers.
She's the founder of Headbandsof Hope that donates to a child
with cancer for every headbandsold.
She's also the founder of theMic Drop Workshop, which
(00:22):
empowers women to become publicspeakers.
She has authored twobest-selling books Chasing the
Bright Side and Create yourBright Ideas.
Ladies and gentlemen, jessEkstrom.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Oh, I am so happy to be here.
Honestly, I feel like I shouldbe an attendee.
I just gave birth about a monthand a half ago and my
manuscript that I've beenworking on for a while is pretty
dusty, and so seeing all ofyou- commit and having these
(01:01):
accountability programs areamazing, so keep up the great
work.
Okay, so maybe some of you arestill thinking like I don't know
if I want to do this, I don'tknow if I want to write a book.
I want to share with you thisquote that is one of my favorite
quotes.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, it's perfect bro.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I do the same thing.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Hold on, wait, am I on the wrong screen One second?
We just practiced this.
I want to do it like weathermanstyle, where you can see behind
me, but I don't think that'sgoing to work like we did in
tech check, so I'll just goahead and share this screen.
There we go.
Okay, now it's working.
(01:42):
Someone out there right now isgoing to write someone else's
favorite book of all time and iscurrently wondering if their
story in their head is worthtelling.
So maybe this is you.
Maybe you're like I don't knowif I should be doing this.
Well, I'm here to tell you thatsomeone out there needs exactly
what you have to say, and I'mgoing to show you how I realized
this for me.
(02:03):
So my story begins in DisneyWorld.
I don't know if we have anyDisney fans out there, but I was
a photo pass photographer backin the day.
I did the Disney collegeprogram when I was in school, so
I worked in Hollywood Studiosand the Magic Kingdom and I
absolutely loved it.
But my favorite thing that Igot to do was I got to
photograph kids that were thereon their wish through the
(02:24):
Make-A-Wish Foundation, and Ifell in love with Make-A-Wish,
got back to school and internedat Make-A-Wish, and I don't know
if you've ever done aninternship before, but sometimes
you're not doing the mostglamorous things.
I wasn't organizing these hugeevents or calling Taylor Swift
to do a wish.
I was doing so much behind thescenes work, you know medical
(02:46):
release forms, cold callingpeople for money and getting
hung up on and on paper.
It looked really boring andreally tedious, but it was the
first time in my life where itdidn't matter what I was doing,
because I was so clearlyconnected to why I was doing it.
Every single thing I did Icould draw a straight line to
(03:08):
helping Make-A-Wish come true.
So it was towards the end ofthis internship and I was given
a little bit more responsibilityfrom my boss and she assigned
me a wish child and I got to bethe coordinator of her wish,
which I was so excited aboutthis girl.
Her name was Renee.
She's four years old.
She wanted to go to DisneyWorld, but specifically she
(03:35):
wanted to go to Disney to meetSleeping Beauty.
She was very clear about theterms of this agreement and so I
planned a going away party forher and all of her friends that
was princess themed.
I called the parks to make surethat Sleeping Beauty could be
there for all of their meals.
And little by little, thingsstarted to come together with
this wish, and it was about aweek before she was scheduled to
go to Disney World she startedto have some symptoms flare up
(03:58):
and started not feeling well,and they did some scans.
She had a brain tumor and upuntil that point they thought
things had been lookingpromising.
But in the scan they realizedthat there was something that
they had missed and she wasn'tin well enough condition to go
to Disney that following week,and so they had to cancel her
wish.
And I remember being in theoffice that day and thinking to
(04:20):
myself like this can't be thestory, because we have these
experiences in our life that wecan't control.
We can't control what theweather is outside, we can't
control, you know, if ourneighbor's dog is barking while
we're trying to speak at AuthorAdvantage Live.
But these are our experiences,these tangible moments in our
(04:42):
life that we can't control.
But our story is what we thinkand what we do next.
Our story is how we internalizeall of our experiences and how
it leads to our decision makingand our actions.
So I couldn't control theexperience, I couldn't help her
go on her wish, but maybe Icould rewrite the story.
So I went on to Google andlooked up local costume shops in
(05:05):
Charlotte, north Carolina,where I was from, and a few
hours later I arrived on herdoorstep dressed as Sleeping
Beauty and did my best to makeher wish come true that day, and
I brought her this matchingdress and this crown that said
Princess Renee and read her thestory of Sleeping Beauty and
spent the whole day with her andher family in character, and
(05:26):
they totally bought it and I'lltell y'all it was the clearest
before and after moment of mylife.
And I think what was the reallyimportant part of this was
learning that we can nevercontrol what happens to us, but
we can control what we think andwhat we do.
Next and this is what bookwriting and speaking is about is
(05:49):
taking all of your experiencesand making them universal to
others, where they can learnsomething from you.
And one of the things I hadnoticed was kids like Renee who
would lose their hair tochemotherapy.
They would be offered a wig orthey'd be given a hat to cover
up their heads, and a lot ofthem loved to wear headbands
(06:10):
after hair loss.
So many of them would walk intothe office with like a flower
crown or like a cool bandana,and I just thought it was the
coolest gesture of confidencethat they wanted to own their
experience instead of hidingfrom it.
And so this was this littlespark that ignited inside of my
head.
I was like you know what, maybethis is something, and maybe
(06:30):
this is what your book idea feltlike too.
It wasn't this.
All of a sudden, the clouds partand angels start singing and
birds start chirping.
You're like ah, it's like alittle match flicks on in the
back of your head and you haveto make a decision.
You have to decide.
Am I just going to let thismatch die out, or am I going to
give it oxygen?
(06:51):
Am I going to give it tender?
Am I going to make it intosomething bigger?
And a lot of times when wethink about starting something,
whether it's a book or abusiness, we can overcomplicate
it, but really, at its core,it's about creating what you
wish existed, which is exactlywhat Chandler did with this
community and amazing businessthat he built, and this is what
(07:12):
I did with Headbands of Hope.
I said, ok, what if I started abusiness that, for every
headband I sell, I donate one toa child with an illness.
And so this was my grand idea.
I was like, ok, I'm going tostart this business.
Meanwhile I am now a junior incollege, studying communications
, couldn't even spellentrepreneur, still have to use
(07:35):
spell check.
I'm not going to lie to youguys, I'm going to keep it real
on here.
And so I decided to just lookat what I had, what was within
my control.
I remember thinking like, okay,I need a logo.
So I went over to the graphicdesign school.
Mind you, I had no dollars, nofunding, I didn't even know what
things might cost, and so Idecided to just try to use what
(07:58):
was within my control.
So I went over to the graphicdesign school, went into a class
that I was not enrolled in,told the teacher what I was
doing and I was like, hey, justspitball in here.
But you know what would be agreat idea?
Is it for your next classassignment?
Everyone had to make me a logo,and I got to pick the best one.
(08:18):
Doesn't that sound like alearning opportunity?
And that was how I got thisfirst logo.
And little by little, thingsstarted to come together, not by
focusing on winning the SuperBowl, but just by getting the
first down.
And that is what book writingis.
If you think, oh my gosh, I gotto write 60,000 words, I think
(08:38):
I was hearing I can't rememberwhose name it was, but speaking
before this, she was likesentence by sentence.
That's why, like Bird by Birdis such a great book for writers
Just don't worry about winningthe Super Bowl, just get the
first down.
This applies to business.
This applies to books and somany other things in our life
where we just want it instantly.
But I will tell you thatHeadbands of Hope is now a
(09:00):
multi-million dollar business.
We're the official headbandprovider for the NBA and WNBA
teams.
We're sold in Kohl's.
We've had celebrities wear ourheadbands, like Lauren Conrad
and Zooey Deschanel, and eventhe Kardashians, which that can
either be good news or bad news,depending where you are on the
Kardashian spectrum.
But what I will say is thatHeadbands of Hope's success 12
(09:24):
years later wasn't from myexperience, because I had none,
wasn't through investors orfunding, because I also had none
, or it wasn't throughpublicists or these huge media
hits.
It was through story.
It was through looking at mystory and how I came here to
build this and using it as afoundation to not just spread
(09:49):
the word about Headbands of Hopebut open up all of these other
revenue streams.
So I eventually.
My first book was Chasing theBright Side, and here I am
finding it at Walmart next toMichelle Obama's book, which was
a very cool moment.
And this first book, chasingthe Bright Side, was the story
of starting Headbands of Hope,but also teaching people how we
(10:12):
can use optimism to create theworld that we want to live in.
And then my second book, createyour Bright Ideas, is a middle
grade book that shows kids howto create their bright ideas.
Both of these I will tell youbecause we're keeping it real on
here.
Both of these were published byHarperCollins, which was great.
But for this next book that I'mworking on, I am
self-publishing it and I have alot of reasons why we can talk
(10:34):
about that during the Q&A.
But this other part of storythat I discovered, not just
through writing books, wasspeaking and sharing my story on
stage.
I remember the first time ofschool it was Marshall
University emailed me and saidwhat is your fee to come speak?
And I said come again.
(11:00):
You want to pay me to come talkto your students Like this was
insane to me.
I didn't even realize that thiswas something that you could
get money for, and so I juststarted speaking for free, for
my first gig was for a slice ofpizza at schools in these like
small stages really anyone thatwould give me airtime until I
started to get enough reps andget good enough at telling my
story and how it can apply tosomeone else.
(11:20):
So eventually the stages gotbigger and this is how I
actually got introduced toselfpublishingcom was at John
Maxwell's event, which Ikeynoted in between John Maxwell
and Deion Sanders, which was aheck of a lineup, and I was also
seven months pregnant at thetime.
So I think this wasphotoshopped to not show my
sweat.
(11:40):
But this was the way that Istarted to be able to get some
legs behind Headbands of Hope,but also sell my books and make
money through speaking.
But let me tell you, when Istarted to get on bigger stages
and maybe some more likecorporate and business stages, I
would always ask the eventthank you for booking me to
(12:03):
speak when we're on our call.
What was it about me and mystory?
Why are you bringing me in tospeak?
And I will tell you a call thatI had.
That shook me to my core and ithappened multiple times.
The guy on the other end, themeeting planner, was like I'm
going to be honest, I don't knowanything about you, we just
needed a woman.
I'm like what Did I justteleport back to the 1950s?
(12:29):
Like what year am I in?
This is crazy.
And so I started to do someresearch and realized that less
than 30% of paid public speakersare women, and that number has
actually gone down in recentyears.
So again, just like Chandlersolving problems through
solutions like community andbringing people together I
decided I was going to rent outthe bottom floor of this
(12:51):
restaurant in Raleigh, northCarolina, where I live, and I
put up this event bright.
I had to go back and dig deepin my event bright thing.
See, look, I think this waslike 2018 and said any woman
that wants to learn the ropes ofpublic speaking, show up.
I will have wine and cheese andI will tell you how to do it.
The room was packed.
There was people that were likeI can't make it or I don't live
(13:13):
close by.
Can you put this online?
So I was like, okay, why not?
So I put it on in the firstever mic drop workshop and it
was made to help women launchtheir speaking career, and now
we have trained thousands ofwomen all over the world to make
an impact and an income throughpublic speaking.
But what I will say is that thewomen who do this, who have
(13:36):
books, will get booked more andthey will sell more books.
It's a yin and a yang becomingan author and becoming a speaker
.
It gives you the credibility asan author to speak, and then,
when you speak, you'll sell morebooks, and I will show you how
to do that.
So the first three ways that Ijust like low hanging fruit that
(13:56):
you all can start doing todayto get started as a paid speaker
and sell books at the same time, because we're going to it's
not an either or it's a both andthe first thing that I teach in
Mic Drop Workshop.
This is like phase one, and Iactually have to remind myself
of this all the time.
I call it being a lighthousespeaker, so I can't see your
(14:18):
hands right now, but if youcould just raise your hand.
If you get nervous before youspeak and I'm gonna keep my hand
raised because I was nervousright before this I still get
nervous before I speak.
But what I've learned is thatnerves don't mean that I'm not
prepared.
It means that I care.
But there's a differencebetween nerves of I want to be
perfect and nerves of I want tomake sure I'm helpful.
(14:39):
So let me show you thedifference.
A spotlight speaker is typicallyhow we think about speaking.
We go up there, we think aboutlike the big TED stages, and you
want to go up there and beperfect and you think what will
everyone think of me?
A spotlight speaker is shiningthe light on themselves.
What will everyone think of me?
How will I be perceived?
(15:04):
I want to be perfect.
I don't want to mess up.
I want everyone to like me.
A spotlight speaker has thelight on themselves and guess
what?
This is easy to do, but this isthe number one way to make you
nervous and also not serve youraudience because you're just
thinking about yourself.
So what I want you to do is Iwant you to shift the light from
being a spotlight speaker tobeing a lighthouse speaker and I
know I'm like blocking this inmy weatherman thing, but I can
(15:26):
send you the slides too.
So, a spotlight speaker, whatdoes everyone think of me?
A lighthouse speaker shines alight on the audience.
How can I best guide theaudience?
A lighthouse isn't looking forthe attention, it's looking to
serve and guide, and that iswhat makes the best speakers.
And then, when you get up thereas a lighthouse, you're less
(15:47):
nervous because you're like it'snot about me If I mess up, it's
fine as long as I'm serving theaudience.
So the number one thing you cando is shift from being a
spotlight speaker to alighthouse speaker that is like
one of, and I do that everysingle time I speak I get into
the mindset of am I a spotlightright now?
If I am, how can I step inmentally to being a lighthouse?
(16:11):
Second thing I want you to do tobecome a paid public speaker is
develop a speaker statement.
Why?
Because you want to make iteasy for people to understand
how you help them when you talkabout.
You're a book or a podcast.
If you're just like, yeah, it'sjust really good, probably no
one's going to listen to it.
But if you're just like, yeah,it's just really good, probably
no one's going to listen to it.
But if you're like, oh, this iswhat it does, this is how it
(16:32):
helps Make it easy for people totalk about you.
So this is our framework thatwe use in Mic Drop Workshop.
I help blank.
What's the desired outcome,what's the goal by blank?
What's the method?
So I'll give you an example ofmine.
I help people expand theirouter voice by helping them
train their inner thoughts.
And when you look at all of mycompanies, my speaking and my
(16:53):
books, all of this falls undermy speaker statement, from
Chasing the Bright Side, createyour Bright Ideas to Amplify my
Podcast, all of this is helpingpeople expand their outer voice
by helping them train theirinner thoughts.
Some of our students have somegood ones, too that I'll show.
Antonetta, I help people reachtheir highest potential by
teaching them the power ofconsistently cultivating courage
(17:16):
.
Nicole, I help close the genderpower gap by helping women
upgrade their careers.
Make it easy for people to talkabout you.
Whether you're a speaker or anauthor, it doesn't matter.
Create a speaker statement.
So what about you?
Put it in the chat.
What's your speaker statement?
I help people blank.
What's the goal, what's thedesired outcome that you want
(17:36):
them to have when they read yourbook, hear you speak, follow
you on social media, buy blank.
What is the method?
What are your fingerprints?
How do you help them get there.
The third way that you canstart to become a paid public
speaker is by picking a lane.
I love to chase shiny things,I'm like oh, what's that over
(17:57):
there, what's this over here?
Decide what you want to be knownfor.
I'm not saying that we have tobe this fit in a box and be a
one-dimensional human, but whatI am saying is, by picking a
speaker statement and then bypicking an audience, a lane that
you know you can help, you aregoing to make your job so much
easier and you're going toconvert higher, because I call
(18:19):
this being when you're like Iwant to do everything for
everyone.
My book is for everyone.
My audience is everybody.
I call that being a CheesecakeFactory speaker.
Now, no hate to the CheesecakeFactory.
I'm sure that some people lovethem.
I am not in that tribe.
I want to go somewhere thatdoes not have a 20-page menu.
(18:44):
I want to go to a restaurantthat's like we have the best
burger and fries of all time,and that's what we do, and
that's what we do well, I don'twant to go to a restaurant
that's like we can make a burger, we can also make sushi and
also here are tacos.
I don't know what you're knownfor, so pick a lane.
So what is a no braineraudience that needs your message
(19:04):
when you think about your bookor your speaker statement or
what you want to be known for.
I want you to think about oneaudience.
This is how you can get startedspeaking.
What is a no-brainer audiencethat needs your message?
Here's just bubble map, someaudiences that you can consider
Students, colleges and highschools have budgets to bring
(19:25):
speakers.
High schools have budgets tobring speakers.
Student government, fraternity,sorority life, first-year
students orientations.
This is how I got.
For the first two years of myspeaking career I exclusively
spoke at colleges and then thatwas how I got a bunch of reps in
no-transcript Corporations dolearning series, lunch and
(19:58):
learns have their own internalconferences.
Associations are.
I know they might seem boring.
You're like, oh, this is theDental Association of Northern
Florida.
I know they might seem boring.
You're like, oh, this is theDental Association of Northern
Florida.
But let me tell you that DentalAssociation of Northern Florida
is also going to talk to theDental Association of Georgia or
the Dental Association ofNebraska, because when you get
(20:20):
into an association, they have49 other states or however many
other counties that also havethat association.
So if you're like, hey, Icrushed it at the Dental
Association of Northern Florida,I don't even know if that's an
association, but just walk withme here and then you can say,
hey, I did really well at thisaudience over here.
When's your next event?
(20:42):
In Georgia, south Carolina,north Carolina Associations are
great and their budgets areusually between $5,000 to
$10,000.
And then lifestyle events.
You have events like this thatyou could be speaking at.
You have LeaderCast Live, allof these other more lifestyle
events that aren't run through acompany or a corporation but
(21:02):
rather specific interest groups.
So then you book the gig andguess what?
This is how you can sell somany books.
I've sold over 100,000 copiesof Chasing the Bright Side.
80% of those sales are throughspeaking events 80% and that
book was on the Today Show.
That book was on some majorpodcasts.
(21:24):
That book was picked as anApple Audiobook of the month.
It got some legs not nearly theamount of sales that doing
speaking has brought to it.
So here's three ways, as Iclose out, that you can use
speaking to sell books.
So the first one is pre-orders.
I'm not sure if you've talkedabout this yet at this
(21:47):
conference, but you probablywill at some point if you join
Pre-orders.
I didn't know people boughtbooks before they came out.
I was like, why would you dothat?
Because they count as sales inthat first week that your book
is live.
So getting pre-orders is areally great way to build hype
around your book and have achance at hitting a bestseller
list.
So what I would do is I wouldlet's say, my book comes out in
(22:10):
November, starting in September.
Every single speaking event Iwould do, I would put up a QR
code to pre-order my book and ifyou did, you could show me in
the back of the room and I wouldgive you a signed book plate.
This is literally.
You can buy them on Vistaprintor Canva.
It is a sticker with, like yourbook title on it and you're
(22:34):
basically signing their book asa sticker that they can then put
in it when the book arrives.
Why people went nuts for thisI'm not sure, but they did.
They loved these stickers.
So you can get pre-orders bydoing these stickers when you
speak.
The second way that you can usethe gig to sell books is make
book sales a part of yourspeaking fee.
So let's say, you usually quote$15,000 to speak.
(22:58):
Well, now you quote $17,500,because now $2,500 of your
speaking fee goes towards booksales.
So what you say is my fee is$17,500 and that also includes X
amount of books whatever.
$2,500 will buy you in booksand I can give you a bulk
discount for more.
That is a really great way todo it is make it a part of the
(23:20):
fee so they feel like they'realso getting something special
and a special advantage.
The third way is selling booksin the back of the room after
your book is out.
You can either do this yourselfand buy directly and have the
copies in the back of the roomand upsell them, or sometimes
you can contact a localbookstore or even a Barnes Noble
(23:41):
and say, hey, I'm speaking atthis event, there's going to be
X amount of people there Can youcome and sell these books and
they'll sell it through theirbookstore.
So I know that was a lot.
We didn't have a lot of time,so I'm like, let's get it all
out.
But the thing that I want you toremember and Chandler might
have updated data around this,but this is what I could find
80% of Americans want to write abook.
(24:03):
Write a book.
Less than 1% will 80% want to.
Less than 1% will Commit tobeing part of that.
1% Commit to being part of it.
I'm telling this to you as muchas I'm telling it to me because
I'm telling you this third book.
(24:24):
I have been in between baby napstrying to get this done.
I'm like commit to being a partof the 1%.
So if this is helpful for youand you want to learn more about
public speaking and just kindof getting over your nerves, you
can scan this.
I have a free Speak WithConfidence ebook that you all
can use to start speaking withconfidence and see if it works
(24:46):
as a part of your business planto sell your book.
So I will pause there because Iwant to leave plenty of time
for questions.
You can ask me anything, butspecifically if you have
questions around my decision togo from traditional publishing
with a major publishing house tonow self-publishing or tips to
start getting speakingengagements, selling books or
(25:08):
speaking engagements those arekind of my beefy areas of
expertise.
But I will kick it back to theMC and see if we have any
questions.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
What's happening?
Give it up for Jess.
Give it up.
Give it up.
Give it up.
How awesome was that?
Huh, love it.
And if we'll turn the emojisback on on the back wall, love
it.
There they come All right.
So that was awesome, thank youJess thank you so much for
coming in and speaking.
We're going to dive into somequestions.
So I want to AV team if we canjust lower everyone's hands.
(25:45):
So we'll kind of do a littlerefresh here.
And then two things here.
So if you've got a question forJess, you can drop a question
in the chat, all right, and then, once we finish lowering
everyone's hands, we'll startback with some questions.
We might even be able to havetime to get a couple of
questions from the audience.
It's fun full circle moment,because the first time I ever
met Jess was when she wasspeaking at a John Maxwell event
(26:08):
, and so I mean just an exampleof speaking at work.
Right, I would have never knownwho you are, what you do and
how you could help this audienceif I didn't first see you
speaking at an event.
And so I want to ask a ofquestions, and then we're going
to get some questions from theaudience.
I think first one of thequestion I would ask Jess that
might be just relevant for thiscrew is how do you juggle things
(26:34):
as a mom, like I know, I'mpretty sure, like you just came
off maternity leave.
If I'm not mistaken, you justhad no kid when I met you, you
were pregnant, giving a talk.
I'm like, wow, this woman isincredible.
So how do you balance things asa mom and having these big
goals with books, with speaking,with that sort of thing?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Well, if anyone has the answer to this, please let
me know, because it is somethingI am actively working on.
I have two under two.
Right now.
I'm definitely using the zoomfilter to get rid of my under
eye bags.
But what I will say is that Ihave even though I have less
time than I typically did prekids my time that I have now I
(27:16):
don't play with it.
I'm like if I have an hour I amgetting my word count in, and
so, if anything, I feel likeI've become more productive with
less time.
And the other thing that I willsay that has become a
superpower.
I think moms and parents I meanjust superpower to the max is
writing and speaking is aboutbeing able to relate to people,
(27:39):
and I now feel like I have a newform of relationship by having
kids on a cellular level.
I had no idea how hard this was, and so I think, if anything,
it's going to make my writingbetter and my speaking better.
It already has, because there'sa new level of relatability.
So, although I don't feel likeI've found the balance I don't
(28:01):
know if anyone does I do thinkit has actually helped my career
as a thought leader in terms ofproductivity and also being
able to relate to people.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Cool.
I love that and I'm seeing acouple of people asking similar
question in the chat around whyyou decided to self-publish your
third book.
What's your thoughts behindthat?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So back in the day it was like, okay, you hand in
your manuscript and here goesthe publisher, Thanks for doing
your job.
And I now learned that it isstill so much on the author to
sell their own book, to marketit, to do press, to figure out
(28:41):
sales techniques, and they'rejust sending you the numbers and
they're sending you what theirgoals are and they have things
that can help, but it's still somuch of the workload is on you.
And so when I would do the mathof my time and how much of the
sales that I'm doing throughspeaking, the advance that a
(29:03):
publisher gives you can feelreally attractive, like, oh my
gosh, someone's just going topay me a chunk of money and then
I get to write a book.
But then when you actually putlike the time to dollars and how
much of the sales that youactually bring in especially
when you're a speaker, you'regoing to do a ton of book sales
through speaking.
I was like I did the math.
I'm like I could have madedouble what my advance was if I
(29:24):
had owned the rights and done myown publishing.
And so I am now a huge fan ofowning your own IP and if you're
already going to have to do thework.
You might as well get moreincentive because you get a
higher dollar amount per booksold, and so it was a business
(29:44):
decision.
But also maybe it's just me.
But I'm like I want to call myown shots with this, like I love
being in creative control, andso that's another part of it too
is just not being like I'mbehind on their sales goals or
what they want for the book.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
What do I want for the book.
Yeah, I like that.
I always look at self-pubpublishing as entrepreneurial
publishing right.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It's betting on yourself.
That's a great way to put it,yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
It's betting on yourself and you get.
You sure, you take the upfrontrisk, but then you also get the
upside, instead of having thatupside captured.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
You should do this for a living.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
You know that was a really great way to put it, oh
man.
Well, I'm going to ask onepersonal question.
I'm taking the opportunitytoday to learn from every person
that comes in and speaks, andso I asked Gary Vaynerchuk a
couple questions earlier todayabout scaling a business.
I want to ask you about scalingor speaking.
So I think in your presentationyou talked a lot about super
(30:40):
smart ways to get your you know,your first speaking gigs booked
.
Hey, spotlights are you.
Are you a spotlight speaker?
You talked about associations,one of that stuff.
How would you look at this ifyou were us?
So we will speak at maybe threeto five events a month.
Um, we've, we've built out aspeaking team of maybe three to
seven speakers, uh, and so I'llspeak at one of those, but then
(31:00):
we have kind of a speaking crewas well.
If you were us, what are waysthat you would kind of scale up
our speaking gigs?
But then also, just some ofthem are free or sponsored gigs.
How would you look at kind oftransitioning from that to more
paid speaking gigs?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Totally so.
I'll tell you some secret saucetips that we teach in Mic Drop
Workshop that I think not enoughpeople are doing.
I'll tell you two of them thatI think are really beneficial.
The first one we call it aspeaker sister, teaming up with
someone or a small group ofpeople who are maybe similar in
(31:37):
style but different in messageand refer each other to speak
after you speak, and you caneven officialize it and do like
a finder's fee, like a 10 or 15%kickback.
The thing with speaking is thatafter you've spoken at an event
, they're probably not going tobook you again for at least
another four years because theyneed to bring new faces on, and
(31:58):
so it's no skin off your back tosay hey, are you booking
speakers for your next event?
I'd love to throw some names byyou.
100% of the time they're likeyes, who do you know?
So creating these referralrelationships between people is
a really great way to not do alot of outbound pitching but get
a lot of warm referral leads.
(32:18):
The second thing that I wouldsay and this is especially for
events that you say are free orin exchange for something, or
you are conceding on your ratethey're like oh, we don't have
10.
We can do seven.
You can say great, here are thethings that I need.
An absolute no-brainer isfootage and photos.
(32:40):
If they are recording or have aphotographer for the event, the
rights to use that, becausethose are great for marketing
footage.
You're four times more likelyto get booked if you have
footage.
Um, but the two things that Ithink not enough people put in
their contract, that I've foundthat events are more than happy
to do and they can have a hugereturn on your investment is a
(33:01):
written testimonial, butreferrals for referrals to other
events that you would be a goodspeaker at.
So, chandler, you could say,like you know, okay, I'm happy
to do this event for free or forX amount, uh, but I would love
if you could send my name tofour or five different events
that you think I'd be a good fitfor, uh, in exchange.
(33:23):
And then you put it in thecontract and it has to be within
30 days post-event, and they'remore than happy to do it.
You just have to ask.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I like that.
That's super smart.
I'm sure the team's takingnotes right now.
So hey, if you know any stageswe should speak on, let Pedro
know.
I know, Pedro.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah, I was going to say, let's do this right now.
I'll take 15%, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Okay, done, done, all right.
I'm like I can hear Pedro on myear like ask Jess, if she's got
referrals and we're going tostart writing that into our
contracts.
I love that.
Well, hey, we're going to takea couple more questions from the
audience and so, if you'llraise your digital hand, if
(34:10):
you've got a question, we'regoing to go lightning round.
I need to get chat to live overhere and while that's happening
, I've got one that I'm going topull from the chat.
Jess, I saw a couple peopleasking about how to know what to
charge for your first couple ofgigs, so how do you think about
that?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
So the starting rate?
Well, last year theAll-American Entertainment did a
study.
The average speaker fee is$15,300.
So just to let you know, that'swhat is average.
The beginning rate for speakersis usually anywhere between
$500 and $5,000.
My first paid gig when I was 21years old was for $2,200 and I
(34:45):
couldn't believe someone wouldpay me $2,200 for an hour of my
time.
But that's a mistake I see alot of speakers make, is they
think and they quote their rateas an hourly rate, when really
they're not paying for an hourof your time.
They're paying for everythingthat it took you to be able to
go up there and speak for anhour of your experience.
So anywhere between 500 and5,000 is a great starting point.
(35:08):
I would say schools chambersmight be in like the 1 to 2,000,
versus associations will becloser to 5.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Okay, cool, I love that.
Well, hey, let's take a couplequestions.
First one I want to go to roomtwo and Abigail.
Abigail's been working with usfor a long time, so I want to
bump you to the front of thequeue there, abigail, what's
your question for Jess?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Colleges.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
I feel like that's a really good place for me to
start as well.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
What was that first college that said yes to you and
how did?
Okay, it was cutting out alittle bit, but I think it was.
What was that first collegethat said yes and how did you go
about that?
Yeah, the first college thatsaid yes was Marshall university
, and so I will always begrateful, but here's the mistake
(36:02):
that I made.
So after I spoke at Marshalluniversity, I was like great,
all I have to do is cold pitchevery other college in America,
easy, right.
And so I just started reachingout to all these colleges and
saying I'm a speaker, here's mystory, you should book me to
speak.
And I was getting nothing,abigail, I was getting crickets.
Gmail shut my account downbecause they were like you are
(36:24):
sending too many emails.
And I was like what am I doingwrong?
And I realized that I waspitching with my story, not my
value.
So when I talked about what aspeaker statement is, you know,
in this is I help people blank.
That's what you should leadwith when you start pitching
universities, instead of saying,hi, I'm Abigail, here's my
story.
It's hi, I'm Abigail and thisis how I can help your students.
(36:46):
That's, that's key.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Ooh, that's good, I love it.
Let's go.
Room one with DJ, room one withDJ.
All right, dj, what's yourquestion for Jess?
Speaker 4 (37:03):
Corporate clients and those kinds of customers that
are that are they're looking forsomething specific and a good
way to interface with them.
Yeah, so if you're asking about,like, how to customize and work
with corporate clients, I would, or just how to get in front of
, like companies that are doingevents that are private or
(37:24):
whatever, that don't necessarilyhave an event organizer but are
doing that sort of thing toinclude the word speaker even if
(37:45):
you haven't spoken yet, becauseLinkedIn is becoming more of a
search engine for professionalneeds and so by having that word
speaker in there is helpful.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
And then look at we call this closest to cash who do
you know that works at eventsthat you can ask about or works
at corporations locally?
Where have you?
You know, maybe your, where youwork now has Lunch and Learn,
where you can get started.
But using LinkedIn and usingthe search for meeting planner,
(38:14):
event planner, like director oflearning and development, those
are all terms that you can startto put into LinkedIn.
And look at your first degreeconnections.
You might know people right nowthat book speakers that just
don't know you speak yet.
And that's like one of thenumber one rules I feel like in
Mic Drop Workshop is peoplecan't book you to speak if they
(38:34):
don't know you're a speaker.
So go ahead and start owningthat in your bio and your
headlines and things that youuse.
And when you are doing podcastsor talking about your book, you
start to use phrases like well,when I speak on this and you
know, a typical question I getasked in an audience that I
speak to is this?
(38:54):
Start dropping those phrases.
So people are like, oh, Ididn't know he was a speaker, we
should bring him to speak.
So I got a gig the other day.
Someone I like went to highschool with that now works for
someone you just don't know, whoyou already know that can book
you to speak.
So start owning that word inyour bio.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
That's good.
And, jess, as far as you know,let's say 2024,.
For example, what's thebreakdown for you between how
many of your speaking requestscome inbound versus how many of
your speaking requests comeinbound versus how many of your
speaking opportunities areoutbound, from you reaching out
to folks and saying, hey, I'dlove to come speak?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
So I've been doing this for like 12 years now and
so I would say now 80% of myspeaking is inbound or like warm
referrals.
But we still do outbound.
For example, I just got bookedto speak at this like women in
insurance series and insurancemagazine did like a cover or did
a story about it, and so youbet your bottom dollar.
(39:52):
We're sending that article toevery insurance company in the
United States that hey, lookwhat, look what I just did.
Here's insurance that booked me.
Why don't I come speak to yourpeople?
So anytime you get like thattestimonial or a nugget of
experience in a certain group,use that as a domino effect to
pitch similar groups instead ofthinking what of the million
(40:16):
people do I know?
Like that's why you know.
Step number three was pick alane and use it as a domino
effect instead of trying topitch to everyone.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
That's great.
I love that.
Uh well, this has been awesomeguys, Give it up again for Jess.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
So fun.
I've got a final question foryou, jess, which would be uh,
yeah give it up for Jess, let'ssee it Come on now.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Uh, so what would be your parting piece of advice for
maybe the person who hasn'tspoken yet and they're trying to
get outside of their comfortzone, get their first gig booked
knowing what you know now,what's kind of your parting
piece of advice?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I will give you actually the number one quoted
line from my talk and my book,and it applies to this.
It is that failure will alwaysfeel better than regret.
And so, with publishing andwith speaking, you're going to
get a lot of no's, whether it'slike, oh, my book sales aren't
what I thought they would be, orI've pitched 20 events and
(41:14):
haven't gotten a single one.
But failure will always feelbetter than regret and in fact,
we don't call it failure anymore, we call it research, because
every time we do something thatdoesn't work, you now have more
information than you did before.
So that would be my advice foryou all.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
That's awesome.
Amazing guys Give it up forJess.
Jess, thank you so much.
I know we're doing book stuffand speaking stuff together soon
, so I'm excited to be workingtogether a lot more.
Thank you so much for takingthe time and being here on.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Saturday Thanks for having me.
Thanks everyone Awesome guys.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Well, amazing, amazing, amazing, we've got a
couple more.
Get your door hangers in place.
Smash the emojis, because ournext speaker is an accomplished
entrepreneur.
She's an author and amotivational speakers.
She's the founder of Headbandsof Hope that donates to a child
with cancer for every headbandsold.
She's also the founder of theMic Drop Workshop, which
(00:22):
empowers women to become publicspeakers.
She has authored twobest-selling books Chasing the
Bright Side and Create yourBright Ideas.
Ladies and gentlemen, jessEkstrom.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Oh, I am so happy to be here.
Honestly, I feel like I shouldbe an attendee.
I just gave birth about a monthand a half ago and my
manuscript that I've beenworking on for a while is pretty
dusty, and so seeing all ofyou- commit and having these
(01:01):
accountability programs areamazing, so keep up the great
work.
Okay, so maybe some of you arestill thinking like I don't know
if I want to do this, I don'tknow if I want to write a book.
I want to share with you thisquote that is one of my favorite
quotes.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, it's perfect bro.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I do the same thing.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Hold on, wait, am I on the wrong screen One second?
We just practiced this.
I want to do it like weathermanstyle, where you can see behind
me, but I don't think that'sgoing to work like we did in
tech check, so I'll just goahead and share this screen.
There we go.
Okay, now it's working.
(01:42):
Someone out there right now isgoing to write someone else's
favorite book of all time and iscurrently wondering if their
story in their head is worthtelling.
So maybe this is you.
Maybe you're like I don't knowif I should be doing this.
Well, I'm here to tell you thatsomeone out there needs exactly
what you have to say, and I'mgoing to show you how I realized
this for me.
(02:03):
So my story begins in DisneyWorld.
I don't know if we have anyDisney fans out there, but I was
a photo pass photographer backin the day.
I did the Disney collegeprogram when I was in school, so
I worked in Hollywood Studiosand the Magic Kingdom and I
absolutely loved it.
But my favorite thing that Igot to do was I got to
photograph kids that were thereon their wish through the
(02:24):
Make-A-Wish Foundation, and Ifell in love with Make-A-Wish,
got back to school and internedat Make-A-Wish, and I don't know
if you've ever done aninternship before, but sometimes
you're not doing the mostglamorous things.
I wasn't organizing these hugeevents or calling Taylor Swift
to do a wish.
I was doing so much behind thescenes work, you know medical
(02:46):
release forms, cold callingpeople for money and getting
hung up on and on paper.
It looked really boring andreally tedious, but it was the
first time in my life where itdidn't matter what I was doing,
because I was so clearlyconnected to why I was doing it.
Every single thing I did Icould draw a straight line to
(03:08):
helping Make-A-Wish come true.
So it was towards the end ofthis internship and I was given
a little bit more responsibilityfrom my boss and she assigned
me a wish child and I got to bethe coordinator of her wish,
which I was so excited aboutthis girl.
Her name was Renee.
She's four years old.
She wanted to go to DisneyWorld, but specifically she
(03:35):
wanted to go to Disney to meetSleeping Beauty.
She was very clear about theterms of this agreement and so I
planned a going away party forher and all of her friends that
was princess themed.
I called the parks to make surethat Sleeping Beauty could be
there for all of their meals.
And little by little, thingsstarted to come together with
this wish, and it was about aweek before she was scheduled to
go to Disney World she startedto have some symptoms flare up
(03:58):
and started not feeling well,and they did some scans.
She had a brain tumor and upuntil that point they thought
things had been lookingpromising.
But in the scan they realizedthat there was something that
they had missed and she wasn'tin well enough condition to go
to Disney that following week,and so they had to cancel her
wish.
And I remember being in theoffice that day and thinking to
(04:20):
myself like this can't be thestory, because we have these
experiences in our life that wecan't control.
We can't control what theweather is outside, we can't
control, you know, if ourneighbor's dog is barking while
we're trying to speak at AuthorAdvantage Live.
But these are our experiences,these tangible moments in our
(04:42):
life that we can't control.
But our story is what we thinkand what we do next.
Our story is how we internalizeall of our experiences and how
it leads to our decision makingand our actions.
So I couldn't control theexperience, I couldn't help her
go on her wish, but maybe Icould rewrite the story.
So I went on to Google andlooked up local costume shops in
(05:05):
Charlotte, north Carolina,where I was from, and a few
hours later I arrived on herdoorstep dressed as Sleeping
Beauty and did my best to makeher wish come true that day, and
I brought her this matchingdress and this crown that said
Princess Renee and read her thestory of Sleeping Beauty and
spent the whole day with her andher family in character, and
(05:26):
they totally bought it and I'lltell y'all it was the clearest
before and after moment of mylife.
And I think what was the reallyimportant part of this was
learning that we can nevercontrol what happens to us, but
we can control what we think andwhat we do.
Next and this is what bookwriting and speaking is about is
(05:49):
taking all of your experiencesand making them universal to
others, where they can learnsomething from you.
And one of the things I hadnoticed was kids like Renee who
would lose their hair tochemotherapy.
They would be offered a wig orthey'd be given a hat to cover
up their heads, and a lot ofthem loved to wear headbands
(06:10):
after hair loss.
So many of them would walk intothe office with like a flower
crown or like a cool bandana,and I just thought it was the
coolest gesture of confidencethat they wanted to own their
experience instead of hidingfrom it.
And so this was this littlespark that ignited inside of my
head.
I was like you know what, maybethis is something, and maybe
(06:30):
this is what your book idea feltlike too.
It wasn't this.
All of a sudden, the clouds partand angels start singing and
birds start chirping.
You're like ah, it's like alittle match flicks on in the
back of your head and you haveto make a decision.
You have to decide.
Am I just going to let thismatch die out, or am I going to
give it oxygen?
(06:51):
Am I going to give it tender?
Am I going to make it intosomething bigger?
And a lot of times when wethink about starting something,
whether it's a book or abusiness, we can overcomplicate
it, but really, at its core,it's about creating what you
wish existed, which is exactlywhat Chandler did with this
community and amazing businessthat he built, and this is what
(07:12):
I did with Headbands of Hope.
I said, ok, what if I started abusiness that, for every
headband I sell, I donate one toa child with an illness.
And so this was my grand idea.
I was like, ok, I'm going tostart this business.
Meanwhile I am now a junior incollege, studying communications
, couldn't even spellentrepreneur, still have to use
(07:35):
spell check.
I'm not going to lie to youguys, I'm going to keep it real
on here.
And so I decided to just lookat what I had, what was within
my control.
I remember thinking like, okay,I need a logo.
So I went over to the graphicdesign school.
Mind you, I had no dollars, nofunding, I didn't even know what
things might cost, and so Idecided to just try to use what
(07:58):
was within my control.
So I went over to the graphicdesign school, went into a class
that I was not enrolled in,told the teacher what I was
doing and I was like, hey, justspitball in here.
But you know what would be agreat idea?
Is it for your next classassignment?
Everyone had to make me a logo,and I got to pick the best one.
(08:18):
Doesn't that sound like alearning opportunity?
And that was how I got thisfirst logo.
And little by little, thingsstarted to come together, not by
focusing on winning the SuperBowl, but just by getting the
first down.
And that is what book writingis.
If you think, oh my gosh, I gotto write 60,000 words, I think
(08:38):
I was hearing I can't rememberwhose name it was, but speaking
before this, she was likesentence by sentence.
That's why, like Bird by Birdis such a great book for writers
Just don't worry about winningthe Super Bowl, just get the
first down.
This applies to business.
This applies to books and somany other things in our life
where we just want it instantly.
But I will tell you thatHeadbands of Hope is now a
(09:00):
multi-million dollar business.
We're the official headbandprovider for the NBA and WNBA
teams.
We're sold in Kohl's.
We've had celebrities wear ourheadbands, like Lauren Conrad
and Zooey Deschanel, and eventhe Kardashians, which that can
either be good news or bad news,depending where you are on the
Kardashian spectrum.
But what I will say is thatHeadbands of Hope's success 12
(09:24):
years later wasn't from myexperience, because I had none,
wasn't through investors orfunding, because I also had none
, or it wasn't throughpublicists or these huge media
hits.
It was through story.
It was through looking at mystory and how I came here to
build this and using it as afoundation to not just spread
(09:49):
the word about Headbands of Hopebut open up all of these other
revenue streams.
So I eventually.
My first book was Chasing theBright Side, and here I am
finding it at Walmart next toMichelle Obama's book, which was
a very cool moment.
And this first book, chasingthe Bright Side, was the story
of starting Headbands of Hope,but also teaching people how we
(10:12):
can use optimism to create theworld that we want to live in.
And then my second book, createyour Bright Ideas, is a middle
grade book that shows kids howto create their bright ideas.
Both of these I will tell youbecause we're keeping it real on
here.
Both of these were published byHarperCollins, which was great.
But for this next book that I'mworking on, I am
self-publishing it and I have alot of reasons why we can talk
(10:34):
about that during the Q&A.
But this other part of storythat I discovered, not just
through writing books, wasspeaking and sharing my story on
stage.
I remember the first time ofschool it was Marshall
University emailed me and saidwhat is your fee to come speak?
And I said come again.
(11:00):
You want to pay me to come talkto your students Like this was
insane to me.
I didn't even realize that thiswas something that you could
get money for, and so I juststarted speaking for free, for
my first gig was for a slice ofpizza at schools in these like
small stages really anyone thatwould give me airtime until I
started to get enough reps andget good enough at telling my
story and how it can apply tosomeone else.
(11:20):
So eventually the stages gotbigger and this is how I
actually got introduced toselfpublishingcom was at John
Maxwell's event, which Ikeynoted in between John Maxwell
and Deion Sanders, which was aheck of a lineup, and I was also
seven months pregnant at thetime.
So I think this wasphotoshopped to not show my
sweat.
(11:40):
But this was the way that Istarted to be able to get some
legs behind Headbands of Hope,but also sell my books and make
money through speaking.
But let me tell you, when Istarted to get on bigger stages
and maybe some more likecorporate and business stages, I
would always ask the eventthank you for booking me to
(12:03):
speak when we're on our call.
What was it about me and mystory?
Why are you bringing me in tospeak?
And I will tell you a call thatI had.
That shook me to my core and ithappened multiple times.
The guy on the other end, themeeting planner, was like I'm
going to be honest, I don't knowanything about you, we just
needed a woman.
I'm like what Did I justteleport back to the 1950s?
(12:29):
Like what year am I in?
This is crazy.
And so I started to do someresearch and realized that less
than 30% of paid public speakersare women, and that number has
actually gone down in recentyears.
So again, just like Chandlersolving problems through
solutions like community andbringing people together I
decided I was going to rent outthe bottom floor of this
(12:51):
restaurant in Raleigh, northCarolina, where I live, and I
put up this event bright.
I had to go back and dig deepin my event bright thing.
See, look, I think this waslike 2018 and said any woman
that wants to learn the ropes ofpublic speaking, show up.
I will have wine and cheese andI will tell you how to do it.
The room was packed.
There was people that were likeI can't make it or I don't live
(13:13):
close by.
Can you put this online?
So I was like, okay, why not?
So I put it on in the firstever mic drop workshop and it
was made to help women launchtheir speaking career, and now
we have trained thousands ofwomen all over the world to make
an impact and an income throughpublic speaking.
But what I will say is that thewomen who do this, who have
(13:36):
books, will get booked more andthey will sell more books.
It's a yin and a yang becomingan author and becoming a speaker
.
It gives you the credibility asan author to speak, and then,
when you speak, you'll sell morebooks, and I will show you how
to do that.
So the first three ways that Ijust like low hanging fruit that
(13:56):
you all can start doing todayto get started as a paid speaker
and sell books at the same time, because we're going to it's
not an either or it's a both andthe first thing that I teach in
Mic Drop Workshop.
This is like phase one, and Iactually have to remind myself
of this all the time.
I call it being a lighthousespeaker, so I can't see your
(14:18):
hands right now, but if youcould just raise your hand.
If you get nervous before youspeak and I'm gonna keep my hand
raised because I was nervousright before this I still get
nervous before I speak.
But what I've learned is thatnerves don't mean that I'm not
prepared.
It means that I care.
But there's a differencebetween nerves of I want to be
perfect and nerves of I want tomake sure I'm helpful.
(14:39):
So let me show you thedifference.
A spotlight speaker is typicallyhow we think about speaking.
We go up there, we think aboutlike the big TED stages, and you
want to go up there and beperfect and you think what will
everyone think of me?
A spotlight speaker is shiningthe light on themselves.
What will everyone think of me?
How will I be perceived?
(15:04):
I want to be perfect.
I don't want to mess up.
I want everyone to like me.
A spotlight speaker has thelight on themselves and guess
what?
This is easy to do, but this isthe number one way to make you
nervous and also not serve youraudience because you're just
thinking about yourself.
So what I want you to do is Iwant you to shift the light from
being a spotlight speaker tobeing a lighthouse speaker and I
know I'm like blocking this inmy weatherman thing, but I can
(15:26):
send you the slides too.
So, a spotlight speaker, whatdoes everyone think of me?
A lighthouse speaker shines alight on the audience.
How can I best guide theaudience?
A lighthouse isn't looking forthe attention, it's looking to
serve and guide, and that iswhat makes the best speakers.
And then, when you get up thereas a lighthouse, you're less
(15:47):
nervous because you're like it'snot about me If I mess up, it's
fine as long as I'm serving theaudience.
So the number one thing you cando is shift from being a
spotlight speaker to alighthouse speaker that is like
one of, and I do that everysingle time I speak I get into
the mindset of am I a spotlightright now?
If I am, how can I step inmentally to being a lighthouse?
(16:11):
Second thing I want you to do tobecome a paid public speaker is
develop a speaker statement.
Why?
Because you want to make iteasy for people to understand
how you help them when you talkabout.
You're a book or a podcast.
If you're just like, yeah, it'sjust really good, probably no
one's going to listen to it.
But if you're just like, yeah,it's just really good, probably
no one's going to listen to it.
But if you're like, oh, this iswhat it does, this is how it
(16:32):
helps Make it easy for people totalk about you.
So this is our framework thatwe use in Mic Drop Workshop.
I help blank.
What's the desired outcome,what's the goal by blank?
What's the method?
So I'll give you an example ofmine.
I help people expand theirouter voice by helping them
train their inner thoughts.
And when you look at all of mycompanies, my speaking and my
(16:53):
books, all of this falls undermy speaker statement, from
Chasing the Bright Side, createyour Bright Ideas to Amplify my
Podcast, all of this is helpingpeople expand their outer voice
by helping them train theirinner thoughts.
Some of our students have somegood ones, too that I'll show.
Antonetta, I help people reachtheir highest potential by
teaching them the power ofconsistently cultivating courage
(17:16):
.
Nicole, I help close the genderpower gap by helping women
upgrade their careers.
Make it easy for people to talkabout you.
Whether you're a speaker or anauthor, it doesn't matter.
Create a speaker statement.
So what about you?
Put it in the chat.
What's your speaker statement?
I help people blank.
What's the goal, what's thedesired outcome that you want
(17:36):
them to have when they read yourbook, hear you speak, follow
you on social media, buy blank.
What is the method?
What are your fingerprints?
How do you help them get there.
The third way that you canstart to become a paid public
speaker is by picking a lane.
I love to chase shiny things,I'm like oh, what's that over
(17:57):
there, what's this over here?
Decide what you want to be knownfor.
I'm not saying that we have tobe this fit in a box and be a
one-dimensional human, but whatI am saying is, by picking a
speaker statement and then bypicking an audience, a lane that
you know you can help, you aregoing to make your job so much
easier and you're going toconvert higher, because I call
(18:19):
this being when you're like Iwant to do everything for
everyone.
My book is for everyone.
My audience is everybody.
I call that being a CheesecakeFactory speaker.
Now, no hate to the CheesecakeFactory.
I'm sure that some people lovethem.
I am not in that tribe.
I want to go somewhere thatdoes not have a 20-page menu.
(18:44):
I want to go to a restaurantthat's like we have the best
burger and fries of all time,and that's what we do, and
that's what we do well, I don'twant to go to a restaurant
that's like we can make a burger, we can also make sushi and
also here are tacos.
I don't know what you're knownfor, so pick a lane.
So what is a no braineraudience that needs your message
(19:04):
when you think about your bookor your speaker statement or
what you want to be known for.
I want you to think about oneaudience.
This is how you can get startedspeaking.
What is a no-brainer audiencethat needs your message?
Here's just bubble map, someaudiences that you can consider
Students, colleges and highschools have budgets to bring
(19:25):
speakers.
High schools have budgets tobring speakers.
Student government, fraternity,sorority life, first-year
students orientations.
This is how I got.
For the first two years of myspeaking career I exclusively
spoke at colleges and then thatwas how I got a bunch of reps in
no-transcript Corporations dolearning series, lunch and
(19:58):
learns have their own internalconferences.
Associations are.
I know they might seem boring.
You're like, oh, this is theDental Association of Northern
Florida.
I know they might seem boring.
You're like, oh, this is theDental Association of Northern
Florida.
But let me tell you that DentalAssociation of Northern Florida
is also going to talk to theDental Association of Georgia or
the Dental Association ofNebraska, because when you get
(20:20):
into an association, they have49 other states or however many
other counties that also havethat association.
So if you're like, hey, Icrushed it at the Dental
Association of Northern Florida,I don't even know if that's an
association, but just walk withme here and then you can say,
hey, I did really well at thisaudience over here.
When's your next event?
(20:42):
In Georgia, south Carolina,north Carolina Associations are
great and their budgets areusually between $5,000 to
$10,000.
And then lifestyle events.
You have events like this thatyou could be speaking at.
You have LeaderCast Live, allof these other more lifestyle
events that aren't run through acompany or a corporation but
(21:02):
rather specific interest groups.
So then you book the gig andguess what?
This is how you can sell somany books.
I've sold over 100,000 copiesof Chasing the Bright Side.
80% of those sales are throughspeaking events 80% and that
book was on the Today Show.
That book was on some majorpodcasts.
(21:24):
That book was picked as anApple Audiobook of the month.
It got some legs not nearly theamount of sales that doing
speaking has brought to it.
So here's three ways, as Iclose out, that you can use
speaking to sell books.
So the first one is pre-orders.
I'm not sure if you've talkedabout this yet at this
(21:47):
conference, but you probablywill at some point if you join
Pre-orders.
I didn't know people boughtbooks before they came out.
I was like, why would you dothat?
Because they count as sales inthat first week that your book
is live.
So getting pre-orders is areally great way to build hype
around your book and have achance at hitting a bestseller
list.
So what I would do is I wouldlet's say, my book comes out in
(22:10):
November, starting in September.
Every single speaking event Iwould do, I would put up a QR
code to pre-order my book and ifyou did, you could show me in
the back of the room and I wouldgive you a signed book plate.
This is literally.
You can buy them on Vistaprintor Canva.
It is a sticker with, like yourbook title on it and you're
(22:34):
basically signing their book asa sticker that they can then put
in it when the book arrives.
Why people went nuts for thisI'm not sure, but they did.
They loved these stickers.
So you can get pre-orders bydoing these stickers when you
speak.
The second way that you can usethe gig to sell books is make
book sales a part of yourspeaking fee.
So let's say, you usually quote$15,000 to speak.
(22:58):
Well, now you quote $17,500,because now $2,500 of your
speaking fee goes towards booksales.
So what you say is my fee is$17,500 and that also includes X
amount of books whatever.
$2,500 will buy you in booksand I can give you a bulk
discount for more.
That is a really great way todo it is make it a part of the
(23:20):
fee so they feel like they'realso getting something special
and a special advantage.
The third way is selling booksin the back of the room after
your book is out.
You can either do this yourselfand buy directly and have the
copies in the back of the roomand upsell them, or sometimes
you can contact a localbookstore or even a Barnes Noble
(23:41):
and say, hey, I'm speaking atthis event, there's going to be
X amount of people there Can youcome and sell these books and
they'll sell it through theirbookstore.
So I know that was a lot.
We didn't have a lot of time,so I'm like, let's get it all
out.
But the thing that I want you toremember and Chandler might
have updated data around this,but this is what I could find
80% of Americans want to write abook.
(24:03):
Write a book.
Less than 1% will 80% want to.
Less than 1% will Commit tobeing part of that.
1% Commit to being part of it.
I'm telling this to you as muchas I'm telling it to me because
I'm telling you this third book.
(24:24):
I have been in between baby napstrying to get this done.
I'm like commit to being a partof the 1%.
So if this is helpful for youand you want to learn more about
public speaking and just kindof getting over your nerves, you
can scan this.
I have a free Speak WithConfidence ebook that you all
can use to start speaking withconfidence and see if it works
(24:46):
as a part of your business planto sell your book.
So I will pause there because Iwant to leave plenty of time
for questions.
You can ask me anything, butspecifically if you have
questions around my decision togo from traditional publishing
with a major publishing house tonow self-publishing or tips to
start getting speakingengagements, selling books or
(25:08):
speaking engagements those arekind of my beefy areas of
expertise.
But I will kick it back to theMC and see if we have any
questions.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
What's happening?
Give it up for Jess.
Give it up.
Give it up.
Give it up.
How awesome was that?
Huh, love it.
And if we'll turn the emojisback on on the back wall, love
it.
There they come All right.
So that was awesome, thank youJess thank you so much for
coming in and speaking.
We're going to dive into somequestions.
So I want to AV team if we canjust lower everyone's hands.
(25:45):
So we'll kind of do a littlerefresh here.
And then two things here.
So if you've got a question forJess, you can drop a question
in the chat, all right, and then, once we finish lowering
everyone's hands, we'll startback with some questions.
We might even be able to havetime to get a couple of
questions from the audience.
It's fun full circle moment,because the first time I ever
met Jess was when she wasspeaking at a John Maxwell event
(26:08):
, and so I mean just an exampleof speaking at work.
Right, I would have never knownwho you are, what you do and
how you could help this audienceif I didn't first see you
speaking at an event.
And so I want to ask a ofquestions, and then we're going
to get some questions from theaudience.
I think first one of thequestion I would ask Jess that
might be just relevant for thiscrew is how do you juggle things
(26:34):
as a mom, like I know, I'mpretty sure, like you just came
off maternity leave.
If I'm not mistaken, you justhad no kid when I met you, you
were pregnant, giving a talk.
I'm like, wow, this woman isincredible.
So how do you balance things asa mom and having these big
goals with books, with speaking,with that sort of thing?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Well, if anyone has the answer to this, please let
me know, because it is somethingI am actively working on.
I have two under two.
Right now.
I'm definitely using the zoomfilter to get rid of my under
eye bags.
But what I will say is that Ihave even though I have less
time than I typically did prekids my time that I have now I
(27:16):
don't play with it.
I'm like if I have an hour I amgetting my word count in, and
so, if anything, I feel likeI've become more productive with
less time.
And the other thing that I willsay that has become a
superpower.
I think moms and parents I meanjust superpower to the max is
writing and speaking is aboutbeing able to relate to people,
(27:39):
and I now feel like I have a newform of relationship by having
kids on a cellular level.
I had no idea how hard this was, and so I think, if anything,
it's going to make my writingbetter and my speaking better.
It already has, because there'sa new level of relatability.
So, although I don't feel likeI've found the balance I don't
(28:01):
know if anyone does I do thinkit has actually helped my career
as a thought leader in terms ofproductivity and also being
able to relate to people.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Cool.
I love that and I'm seeing acouple of people asking similar
question in the chat around whyyou decided to self-publish your
third book.
What's your thoughts behindthat?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So back in the day it was like, okay, you hand in
your manuscript and here goesthe publisher, Thanks for doing
your job.
And I now learned that it isstill so much on the author to
sell their own book, to marketit, to do press, to figure out
(28:41):
sales techniques, and they'rejust sending you the numbers and
they're sending you what theirgoals are and they have things
that can help, but it's still somuch of the workload is on you.
And so when I would do the mathof my time and how much of the
sales that I'm doing throughspeaking, the advance that a
(29:03):
publisher gives you can feelreally attractive, like, oh my
gosh, someone's just going topay me a chunk of money and then
I get to write a book.
But then when you actually putlike the time to dollars and how
much of the sales that youactually bring in especially
when you're a speaker, you'regoing to do a ton of book sales
through speaking.
I was like I did the math.
I'm like I could have madedouble what my advance was if I
(29:24):
had owned the rights and done myown publishing.
And so I am now a huge fan ofowning your own IP and if you're
already going to have to do thework.
You might as well get moreincentive because you get a
higher dollar amount per booksold, and so it was a business
(29:44):
decision.
But also maybe it's just me.
But I'm like I want to call myown shots with this, like I love
being in creative control, andso that's another part of it too
is just not being like I'mbehind on their sales goals or
what they want for the book.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
What do I want for the book.
Yeah, I like that.
I always look at self-pubpublishing as entrepreneurial
publishing right.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It's betting on yourself.
That's a great way to put it,yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
It's betting on yourself and you get.
You sure, you take the upfrontrisk, but then you also get the
upside, instead of having thatupside captured.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
You should do this for a living.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
You know that was a really great way to put it, oh
man.
Well, I'm going to ask onepersonal question.
I'm taking the opportunitytoday to learn from every person
that comes in and speaks, andso I asked Gary Vaynerchuk a
couple questions earlier todayabout scaling a business.
I want to ask you about scalingor speaking.
So I think in your presentationyou talked a lot about super
(30:40):
smart ways to get your you know,your first speaking gigs booked
.
Hey, spotlights are you.
Are you a spotlight speaker?
You talked about associations,one of that stuff.
How would you look at this ifyou were us?
So we will speak at maybe threeto five events a month.
Um, we've, we've built out aspeaking team of maybe three to
seven speakers, uh, and so I'llspeak at one of those, but then
(31:00):
we have kind of a speaking crewas well.
If you were us, what are waysthat you would kind of scale up
our speaking gigs?
But then also, just some ofthem are free or sponsored gigs.
How would you look at kind oftransitioning from that to more
paid speaking gigs?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Totally so.
I'll tell you some secret saucetips that we teach in Mic Drop
Workshop that I think not enoughpeople are doing.
I'll tell you two of them thatI think are really beneficial.
The first one we call it aspeaker sister, teaming up with
someone or a small group ofpeople who are maybe similar in
(31:37):
style but different in messageand refer each other to speak
after you speak, and you caneven officialize it and do like
a finder's fee, like a 10 or 15%kickback.
The thing with speaking is thatafter you've spoken at an event
, they're probably not going tobook you again for at least
another four years because theyneed to bring new faces on, and
(31:58):
so it's no skin off your back tosay hey, are you booking
speakers for your next event?
I'd love to throw some names byyou.
100% of the time they're likeyes, who do you know?
So creating these referralrelationships between people is
a really great way to not do alot of outbound pitching but get
a lot of warm referral leads.
(32:18):
The second thing that I wouldsay and this is especially for
events that you say are free orin exchange for something, or
you are conceding on your ratethey're like oh, we don't have
10.
We can do seven.
You can say great, here are thethings that I need.
An absolute no-brainer isfootage and photos.
(32:40):
If they are recording or have aphotographer for the event, the
rights to use that, becausethose are great for marketing
footage.
You're four times more likelyto get booked if you have
footage.
Um, but the two things that Ithink not enough people put in
their contract, that I've foundthat events are more than happy
to do and they can have a hugereturn on your investment is a
(33:01):
written testimonial, butreferrals for referrals to other
events that you would be a goodspeaker at.
So, chandler, you could say,like you know, okay, I'm happy
to do this event for free or forX amount, uh, but I would love
if you could send my name tofour or five different events
that you think I'd be a good fitfor, uh, in exchange.
(33:23):
And then you put it in thecontract and it has to be within
30 days post-event, and they'remore than happy to do it.
You just have to ask.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I like that.
That's super smart.
I'm sure the team's takingnotes right now.
So hey, if you know any stageswe should speak on, let Pedro
know.
I know, Pedro.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah, I was going to say, let's do this right now.
I'll take 15%, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Okay, done, done, all right.
I'm like I can hear Pedro on myear like ask Jess, if she's got
referrals and we're going tostart writing that into our
contracts.
I love that.
Well, hey, we're going to takea couple more questions from the
audience and so, if you'llraise your digital hand, if
(34:10):
you've got a question, we'regoing to go lightning round.
I need to get chat to live overhere and while that's happening
, I've got one that I'm going topull from the chat.
Jess, I saw a couple peopleasking about how to know what to
charge for your first couple ofgigs, so how do you think about
that?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
So the starting rate?
Well, last year theAll-American Entertainment did a
study.
The average speaker fee is$15,300.
So just to let you know, that'swhat is average.
The beginning rate for speakersis usually anywhere between
$500 and $5,000.
My first paid gig when I was 21years old was for $2,200 and I
(34:45):
couldn't believe someone wouldpay me $2,200 for an hour of my
time.
But that's a mistake I see alot of speakers make, is they
think and they quote their rateas an hourly rate, when really
they're not paying for an hourof your time.
They're paying for everythingthat it took you to be able to
go up there and speak for anhour of your experience.
So anywhere between 500 and5,000 is a great starting point.
(35:08):
I would say schools chambersmight be in like the 1 to 2,000,
versus associations will becloser to 5.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Okay, cool, I love that.
Well, hey, let's take a couplequestions.
First one I want to go to roomtwo and Abigail.
Abigail's been working with usfor a long time, so I want to
bump you to the front of thequeue there, abigail, what's
your question for Jess?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Colleges.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
I feel like that's a really good place for me to
start as well.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
What was that first college that said yes to you and
how did?
Okay, it was cutting out alittle bit, but I think it was.
What was that first collegethat said yes and how did you go
about that?
Yeah, the first college thatsaid yes was Marshall university
, and so I will always begrateful, but here's the mistake
(36:02):
that I made.
So after I spoke at Marshalluniversity, I was like great,
all I have to do is cold pitchevery other college in America,
easy, right.
And so I just started reachingout to all these colleges and
saying I'm a speaker, here's mystory, you should book me to
speak.
And I was getting nothing,abigail, I was getting crickets.
Gmail shut my account downbecause they were like you are
(36:24):
sending too many emails.
And I was like what am I doingwrong?
And I realized that I waspitching with my story, not my
value.
So when I talked about what aspeaker statement is, you know,
in this is I help people blank.
That's what you should leadwith when you start pitching
universities, instead of saying,hi, I'm Abigail, here's my
story.
It's hi, I'm Abigail and thisis how I can help your students.
(36:46):
That's, that's key.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Ooh, that's good, I love it.
Let's go.
Room one with DJ, room one withDJ.
All right, dj, what's yourquestion for Jess?
Speaker 4 (37:03):
Corporate clients and those kinds of customers that
are that are they're looking forsomething specific and a good
way to interface with them.
Yeah, so if you're asking about,like, how to customize and work
with corporate clients, I would, or just how to get in front of
, like companies that are doingevents that are private or
(37:24):
whatever, that don't necessarilyhave an event organizer but are
doing that sort of thing toinclude the word speaker even if
(37:45):
you haven't spoken yet, becauseLinkedIn is becoming more of a
search engine for professionalneeds and so by having that word
speaker in there is helpful.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
And then look at we call this closest to cash who do
you know that works at eventsthat you can ask about or works
at corporations locally?
Where have you?
You know, maybe your, where youwork now has Lunch and Learn,
where you can get started.
But using LinkedIn and usingthe search for meeting planner,
(38:14):
event planner, like director oflearning and development, those
are all terms that you can startto put into LinkedIn.
And look at your first degreeconnections.
You might know people right nowthat book speakers that just
don't know you speak yet.
And that's like one of thenumber one rules I feel like in
Mic Drop Workshop is peoplecan't book you to speak if they
(38:34):
don't know you're a speaker.
So go ahead and start owningthat in your bio and your
headlines and things that youuse.
And when you are doing podcastsor talking about your book, you
start to use phrases like well,when I speak on this and you
know, a typical question I getasked in an audience that I
speak to is this?
(38:54):
Start dropping those phrases.
So people are like, oh, Ididn't know he was a speaker, we
should bring him to speak.
So I got a gig the other day.
Someone I like went to highschool with that now works for
someone you just don't know, whoyou already know that can book
you to speak.
So start owning that word inyour bio.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
That's good.
And, jess, as far as you know,let's say 2024,.
For example, what's thebreakdown for you between how
many of your speaking requestscome inbound versus how many of
your speaking requests comeinbound versus how many of your
speaking opportunities areoutbound, from you reaching out
to folks and saying, hey, I'dlove to come speak?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
So I've been doing this for like 12 years now and
so I would say now 80% of myspeaking is inbound or like warm
referrals.
But we still do outbound.
For example, I just got bookedto speak at this like women in
insurance series and insurancemagazine did like a cover or did
a story about it, and so youbet your bottom dollar.
(39:52):
We're sending that article toevery insurance company in the
United States that hey, lookwhat, look what I just did.
Here's insurance that booked me.
Why don't I come speak to yourpeople?
So anytime you get like thattestimonial or a nugget of
experience in a certain group,use that as a domino effect to
pitch similar groups instead ofthinking what of the million
(40:16):
people do I know?
Like that's why you know.
Step number three was pick alane and use it as a domino
effect instead of trying topitch to everyone.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
That's great.
I love that.
Uh well, this has been awesomeguys, Give it up again for Jess.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
So fun.
I've got a final question foryou, jess, which would be uh,
yeah give it up for Jess, let'ssee it Come on now.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Uh, so what would be your parting piece of advice for
maybe the person who hasn'tspoken yet and they're trying to
get outside of their comfortzone, get their first gig booked
knowing what you know now,what's kind of your parting
piece of advice?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I will give you actually the number one quoted
line from my talk and my book,and it applies to this.
It is that failure will alwaysfeel better than regret.
And so, with publishing andwith speaking, you're going to
get a lot of no's, whether it'slike, oh, my book sales aren't
what I thought they would be, orI've pitched 20 events and
(41:14):
haven't gotten a single one.
But failure will always feelbetter than regret and in fact,
we don't call it failure anymore, we call it research, because
every time we do something thatdoesn't work, you now have more
information than you did before.
So that would be my advice foryou all.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
That's awesome.
Amazing guys Give it up forJess.
Jess, thank you so much.
I know we're doing book stuffand speaking stuff together soon
, so I'm excited to be workingtogether a lot more.
Thank you so much for takingthe time and being here on.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Saturday Thanks for having me.
Thanks everyone Awesome guys.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Well, amazing, amazing, amazing, we've got a
couple more.
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