Sex for Saints

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “maintenance sex”? For a lot of people, it feels unromantic - maybe even a little cringy. It doesn’t sound poetic or passionate. But what if we’re thinking about it all wrong? In this episode, we’re challenging the way we see maintenance sex. Instead of seeing it as leftovers or a chore, what if we saw it as a sacred act of love, something we choose to do, not because we’re wildly turned ...

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “We should have sex… but I’m just not feeling it” - only to go through the motions and walk away feeling disconnected? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re talking about a concept that might just change how you think about intimacy: Good Enough Sex. It’s a model developed by sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy that shifts the goal of sex away from pressure and perfection and toward emo...

Why do you react the way you do in sexual situations, whether it’s craving something specific, avoiding certain dynamics, or feeling stuck in the same patterns? And why does your partner seem to approach sex so differently? In this episode, we explore how the Enneagram can shed light on your unique relationship to intimacy. The Enneagram isn’t just another personality test - it’s a deep dive into the core fears, desire...

What if sexual discipline isn’t about restriction, but about freedom? In this episode, I’m exploring a concept that doesn’t get much airtime in Christian marriage spaces: sexual discipline within marriage. Too often, it’s framed as something just for singles, something to “hold onto” until marriage. But what if it’s actually a key to deeper connection, emotional wholeness, and a healthier sex life with your spouse? I’ll talk about ...

You’ve probably heard it, or maybe even said it: “Our marriage is great… except for the sex.” On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there’s hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn’t just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it’s often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I’m explaining why sexual disconnect in a marriage is rarely just about sex. I’l...

In this episode, we’re diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It’s what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let’s talk about how growth in a relationship isn...

What I often see from those who listen to this podcast, or even from my clients, is that they want a quick fix to their problems in the bedroom. They think that if they learn the right position, or the perfect rhythm, or how to last longer, that it will magically fix all the issues they’re having. So let me say again….Better sex is not about technique. Technique won’t spark your desire again. Technique won’t make you feel wanted ag...

When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, “Where did that come from?” and your second is, “Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?” These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getting ideas from somewher...

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn’t feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they’re asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what’s really happening in relationships where one partner feels like the...

Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you’re starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they’re carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they’re the only one who still wants intimacy. We’ll unpack why this happens, what constant initiating can do to a relationship, and...

Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn’t want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You’ll hear why focusing too much on “your” version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what “real” sex looks like, we’ll unpack how to move from...

Ever found yourself pulled out of a beautiful, intimate moment by the thought, “Ugh, now I have to clean up”? You’re definitely not alone. For many women, post-sex cleanup can feel like an annoying chore that disrupts connection and intimacy. In this episode, we’re getting real about why this moment matters—and how to simplify the cleanup process so you can stay present, connected, and fully enjoy that sweet afterglow with your spo...

What if the covenants we make in the Temple are more than just promises—what if they’re a roadmap to deeper connection and intimacy? In this episode, we’re diving into the sacred covenants made in the Temple by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—not as a checklist of rules, but as a powerful pattern of personal and relational growth. Whether you share my faith or not, this conversation has the potential to s...

Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a power struggle? You're not alone. Whether you're the partner who wants sex more often or the one who wants it less, the imbalance can create tension, guilt, and frustration on both sides. In my normal open and honest way, we are going to discuss why the lower-desire partner often ends up in control of the sexual rhythm in a relationship. We’ll dive into the emotional weight both partners c...

Katelyn Peach, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is back for this episode where we talk about pelvic floor physical therapy for men. One of the biggest misconceptions that Katelyn sees in her practice is that men think that they either don’t have a pelvic floor or since they don’t have babies, their pelvic floor is never an issue. This is far from the truth! Katelyn lets us know how pelvic floor issues affect men, what she c...

In this episode, Katelyn Peach, who is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, is going to be speaking with us about pelvic floor physical therapy for women. She treats patients with a variety of pelvic floor conditions so I was able to pick her brain on why you need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist, what she can do to help you, what that first visit will look like, and so much more! This is a must listen episode! Plus, ...

Sex in marriage can sometimes feel imbalanced—one person initiates while the other holds the power to say yes or no, or one partner’s needs take priority over the other’s. But what if there was a way to create a deeper, more fulfilling connection? In this episode, we explore the concept of mutuality in marriage, a powerful approach where both partners’ needs, desires, and well-being are valued equally. Drawing from Dr. David Schnar...

We often think of sexual energy as just desire, attraction, or physical connection—but what if it’s so much more? What if this energy could fuel your creativity, ambition, personal growth, and even spiritual transformation? In this episode, we’re diving into sexual transmutation—the practice of channeling your sexual energy into other areas of your life. Whether you want to boost your creative projects, elevate your confidence, or ...

I often hear from my clients the phrase, “If only…” If only my spouse would want more sex, then I could stop feeling so frustrated. If only my spouse would stop pressuring me for sex, then I could feel more comfortable with it. If only… Have you ever thought about how things would change “if only”? If you have, I bet that you have tried to change your spouse. You’ve bought them books, and sent them podcasts, and they have dug in th...