July 22, 2025 • 41 mins
In this episode, host Bernadette Boas sits down with world-class leadership communications coach and auctioneer Dia Bondi to explore the bold truth behind powerful leadership: your voice isn't just a tool—it's your greatest asset.
Whether you’re an executive, founder, HR leader, or people manager, this conversation will challenge you to rethink how you communicate, what you ask for, and why you're not being heard the way you should be.
Dia shares powerful insights from two decades of coaching C-suite leaders and venture-backed founders, revealing how to:
- Use your origin story to build executive presence
- Make bold asks that test your limits—and open new doors
- Develop a leadership voice that commands attention and drives results
- Avoid becoming “technically perfect but strategically invisible”
- Align purpose with presence to inspire and influence at every level
If your leaders are playing small or your teams are struggling to articulate their vision, this episode is a must-listen for building high-impact communicators across your organization.
Dia Bondi is a Communications Catalyst helping high-impact leaders and founders speak powerfully to win decisions and resources and carve a path for their future. She’s the author of Ask Like an Auctioneer and has worked with brands like Google X, Dropbox, and Salesforce—and even helped Rio land the 2016 Olympics.
🎯 Perfect for: Corporate professionals, HR executives, leadership development pros, and high-potential leaders ready to use their voice to lead with confidence and conviction.
🔹 Learn more about Dia Bondi: https://www.diabondi.com
FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE, and LIKE the show at www.balloffirecoaching.com/podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to Shedding the Corporate Bits, the
podcast where we ditch thestatus quo and redefine what
powerhouse leadership reallylooks like.
Today's episode is amasterclass in commanding
attention, making bold asks andowning the mic, and I've got
just the powerhouse to deliverit.
Meet Dia Bondi.
She's a communications catalystfor high-impact leaders, a
(00:26):
keynote pro and the author ofAsk.
Like an Auctioneer.
She's coached executives atGoogle X, salesforce, dropbox
and even helped Rio land the2016 Olympics.
Yeah, she's that good.
We're diving into how you canlead with more impact and
clarity, maximize every ask forbigger, better results and craft
(00:49):
a magnetic origin story thatsells your value before you even
drop the mic.
Here's what you walk away withthe power to ask for more and
actually get it by breaking yourown limiting assumptions.
A bold reminder that your voiceisn't just a communication tool
.
It's your leadership weapon anda fresh way to use your story
(01:12):
to build instant trust andcontext for your success.
Corporate leaders, it's time tostop playing small.
If you're ready to influencedecisions, drive results and
finally speak with the authorityyour role demands, this episode
is for you, so let's get intoit.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
(01:51):
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Dia, welcome, welcome , welcome.
How are you?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I'm good.
I was just saying that springhas sprung and when the sun's
out I feel better abouteverything.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
It is a beautiful, beautifulthing no longer hibernating.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
No, I'm ready.
I'm ready to be outside.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You and me both, you and me both.
Well, I am very much lookingforward to this conversation,
all about using one's voice toget what they want and doing it
powerfully and boldly, as youwill share with us Before we do.
I love our listeners andviewers to get to know our
guests on a personal level, socan you share a little bit about
(02:55):
Dia?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Well, I grew up in Northern California and from the
time I was a little kid I hadwell, all my friends had the
fantasies of being, you know, afireman or a nurse or a teacher,
those boxes that you sort ofhave you know about when you're
little.
I wanted to be a long haultruck driver.
That was my fantasy.
I wanted my own 18 wheeler thatwas sparkly and chromed out
(03:19):
potentially purple, maybe red.
And it's funny now that I lookback on that I realized that
that was sort of a foreshadowingof like what I would actually
do later in life, because it wasabout being out on the road and
having adventures.
You know it was about.
It was about being sort of asingular voice in this sea.
At that time I mean it was the70s, at that time there were no
(03:41):
women truck drivers, so I hadthis picture of myself being
sort of out on the road as thislone ranger and I spent a lot of
my time in Northern Californiauntil I got my first I'm going
to call it a gig, because that'sreally what it was and I got to
travel the world teachingcommunication skills for
technology companies, packagedfoods and beyond.
But it still had that.
(04:02):
It was a recognizable feelingof like getting in an airplane
and flying halfway across theworld had that same quality that
I was looking for when I was soyoung, of like getting in an 18
wheeler and heading to Wichita,you know.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And what would you say was, from all that traveling
, what would you say was thebiggest lesson that you learned,
becoming kind of a nomad or,you know, a traveler, especially
if you're going to differentcultures, different environments
?
What would you say?
It would be.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You know it's funny, I don't.
That seems like such an obviousquestion and I don't get it
very often.
So you know the nature of thework that I was doing and still
do today, but those are sort ofearly days in my career really
required.
You know, I was cross-culturalbut I was working mostly with
American companies that hadoffices abroad.
(04:54):
So they were, you know thetalent there was local talent
but was crashing into theculture of the American
companies that they were workingwith.
So I was at this interestingspot where people in the rooms
were even talking about how theyare more compelling as a, with
their voice in a way, in a verymulticultural environment.
(05:15):
And I'm not, you know, I'm notsuper versed on.
You know, I'm not like aHofstede, you know, a disciple
or anything.
So I don't, I'm not superversed in cross-cultural
communication, although I had tolearn.
And so the thing that I, thething that was always most
obvious to me, was that I had tointentionally stay extremely
(05:37):
open to how people might impactme in any moment, so that I
could draw on the wisdom of theroom and not just trust my like
what my experience was, becauseI came from only one perspective
.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So the big lesson was about like sort of trusting
trusting the room, not justtrusting myself when I was
working with clients to go likewhat makes what about the way
you tell a story is socompelling?
What do we want more from you?
Not just what I want more fromyou, what do we?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right, yeah, that's fascinating, especially if you
have that early in your career.
It's such a great foundationfor then springboarding your
leadership and overallcontribution that you're making,
especially in the type of workyou're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Totally and it also really forced me to be extremely
like contribution that you'remaking, especially in the type
of work you're doing Totally.
And it also really forced me tobe extremely like open but also
like agile.
You know, because now I alwayssay with clients that I'm not.
You know, I've been aleadership communications coach
now for over 20 years but I'mnot industry specific.
I'm very industry agnostic, butI'm not industry specific.
I'm very industry agnostic.
(06:44):
So if I'm doing work in CPG orblockchain or SAS or education
or you know, like across theboard in that way it's also like
traveling I have to be willingto not know and not have that
knock or shake my confidencevery much, because I could lean
back on again to like opennessand the knowledge of the wisdom,
of that's in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Right, there's nothing better than being
curious and always, always,always learning.
And yet I can imagine you knowto kind of segue into our
conversation today.
I could imagine that a lot ofthe leaders that you work with,
they get a little bit, I wouldsay, insecure about having to
(07:27):
swallow their pride andacknowledge that they don't know
something.
Is that a fair assessment ofthem?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So I work with in my communications work.
I work specifically with twopopulations.
I work specifically with twopopulations senior leaders and
organizations that are usuallyVP level and above, and not the
kind of VP level and above thatyou find in like finance, where,
like you, could be two yearsout of college, have no direct
reports and be called a VP.
I know so whenever I hear VPI'm like yes, but help, like
(08:03):
build the world for me.
So I understand what you mean byVP.
Yeah, no, no, you know, notknocking on folks in finance,
but it's not always the same.
And then VC backed founders whoare usually Series B and beyond
and in the founder world.
You know, while a lot of thefounders I work with are very
confident people, they have a,they have a strong vision,
(08:23):
they're very, they're well, verywell versed in building
products there, but they'regrowing into their leadership
and operator voice and you knowthere's a lot of stuff they're
really happy to say I don't knowabout.
You know, in both a way thatallows them to maintain
curiosity, but in some ways ithas them hand over their power.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That is pleasantly surprising to me, you know, only
because those that don't workon the VC world, you know, would
probably look at certainindividuals as, oh, that's a
very, you know kind of intenseand you know very prideful
ego-driven of industry.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So it's nice to hear I mean, it is intense, that is
true.
And there is, you know, thisinteresting dance of like a
required stubbornness around thevision that you have for what
you're building, becauseeverybody's going to tell you
why it doesn't work and why youshould be doing it differently.
So there's this and thenthere's this interesting
dichotomy at the same time, theyhave to maintain a strong
(09:31):
openness to pivot and follow themarket and, you know, build
today, what an expression of theproduct or the service they're
trying to provide in a way thatis surprising to them, they
didn't think they would do.
And then the third component islike managing this, like what
do I have conviction about andwhere do I too easily give over
my power?
(09:51):
Because I'm new, I'm a firsttime founder or I haven't done
this before.
You know a lot of you know wewere talking about.
You know this show is titled Aska Bigger, lead Louder and Win
More.
The lead louder part, when Ithink about helping founders and
leaders speak powerfully atreally critical moments, means
actually recognizing your pointof view, and that doesn't mean
(10:16):
you're not open to seeing otherpoints of view.
But you need to know whatyou're after, what you're about,
what your core principles arewhat you want and have clarity
and commitment to that.
Otherwise, it's too easy tocome at everything in a way that
nobody knows where you stand onanything, right?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
right.
So they're just, like you know,kind of grabbing at everything
and everything and trying toplease everybody.
Well, correct, would you saythat that is one of the things
that, even outside the VC world,hold back a lot of leaders.
What do you find to be thebiggest challenges holding
leaders back by really having apowerful voice?
Speaker 3 (11:06):
with have no problem speaking up.
That's not the issue.
You know, when I say, whenclients work with me, they'll
say like oh my God, I found myvoice and it's not like I used
to not be able to speak up andnow I can speak up.
I mean, these people are seniorfolks.
That's not the thing.
What the thing is is that theyhaven't taken the time or
realized that it would be usefulfor them to stop for a minute
and and spend some timearticulating and developing
(11:28):
their unique take in the worldthat then they can take with
them anywhere they go.
So it's like they've gotshort-term reactions and takes
and opinions about, maybe aninitiative they're working on, a
strategy that they'redeveloping, like what's right in
front of them.
But I don't want to say that itholds them back because it's
not a restraining thing.
(11:49):
It's like they miss theopportunity to accelerate
because they don't think aboutthe.
They don't think about theirgreater voice in their domain.
What is it that they really wantto be known for?
What is their core leadershipphilosophy that they're bringing
everywhere they go, no mattertheir job or role or company
that they're in?
What?
How do they articulate andunderstand the purpose of their,
(12:10):
their purpose in the room, andI'm not talking about, like life
purpose.
I'm talking about, like, therole you play regardless of your
job.
Are you a peacemaker?
Are you like and really namingit and claiming it?
You know, naming and claimingit, that's a big piece, a lot of
this stuff.
You know they kind of.
(12:31):
I was thinking about a specificVP I worked with in product last
year for a large SaaS companyand he, you know it took me a
good 20 minutes into our firstcall for me to even understand
what his bigger take was on howyou develop and deploy products
using AI.
And I'm like, why isn't thistake something that I can get
(12:54):
from you sooner?
And he was kind of keeping it asecret.
We're keeping his job functionbeing the main narrative of his
leadership.
And I'm like no, at your level,you've got to bring that bigger
take on how we build and deployproducts in the world using AI.
So it's just very because thedownside is, because the
(13:15):
downside is your, your.
This is going to sound funny,but it's like the downside is
you become anonymous, Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Okay, dig into that a little bit more.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, I know that's sort of an extreme way to say it
, but it's the difference, Ithink, between very tactical, in
how we communicate in ourcareers and how we use our
voices to carve a path for thefuture.
Here's an example I have afounder I was working with this
last year who went into a reallyto try to anonymize some of
these conversations, some ofthese examples, just, yeah, to
(13:49):
be discreet.
Going into a really criticalI'm going to call it a
partnership conversation, goinginto a really critical, I'm
going to call it a partnershipconversation.
And you know this founder hadbeen so mired in the tactics of
what they were building.
You know that they lived andbreathed their pitch deck.
What am I building?
Who is it for?
How big is the problem?
What are we disrupting?
You know how do we address it?
What does the product look like?
(14:09):
What is the team?
Right, and this is verytactical, that's fine, but we
can hear those storieseverywhere.
What we did was work to go likeyes, but what is the what is it
that?
You see, that is the future ofthis domain, this particular
industry, and he was able toarticulate, after working
together, we were able toarticulate something that felt
(14:29):
highly differentiated and a muchmore powerful.
Not so like.
I'm a, I'm an executive of a,of a potential partner for you.
You're a founder, coming inwith your pitch deck yet again
and are going to pitch me withthe same sort of type of a story
rhythm that I always hear.
We were able to elevate it in away that helped him articulate
(14:50):
in the world what he reallywhere he sees the direction of
the business, not his business,the business, the domain, the
industry and that made him lessof like a founder who's yapping
you know, a founder who'syapping and shopping his wares
to having a meaningful, elevatedconversation about the future
of their shared domain, suchthat they could see where their
(15:13):
visions overlapped and carved apath for both of them.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, and he's, and he's.
He or she is positioningthemselves as a visionary as far
as a driver toward where theywant the industry to go.
And that's actually thatseparates them from anybody else
.
That's just simply kind of likeyou said pitching- yes, and you
(15:38):
know so selfishly they want.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
we want this for founders and executives because
when they do this, they have amuch more robust voice that they
can bet on, that they can trustand rely on and that they can
use to help the world understandwhy them A more significant
voice that they can then lend tothe business that they're
(16:03):
building, the initiative thatthey're running, the leadership
that they're asked to engage inwherever they are.
You know, sometimes we sort ofconflate the job that we have
with the stories that we'retelling.
But I really love helpingfounders and the job that we
have with the stories that we'retelling.
But I really love helpingfounders and executives see that
they have a distinct voice inthe market that they then lend
to their ventures.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Love that Now you speak about the origin story.
I do, and so help us understandhow, especially in a world
obsessed with results, you know.
So it is about the numbers and,almost like the tactical that
you mentioned, how can theyreally lean in on an origin
(16:44):
story?
What is it for those listeningthat may not understand it?
And then you know how can oneleverage their origin story.
Sure.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
So an origin story can sound like your resume what
got you here, what did you dothat got you here?
And when I think about anexecutive or a founder or
leader's origin story, I want toshift it from what have you
done to who are you.
That builds the context for whyyou're here and builds context
(17:14):
for the relevant accomplishmentsthat you've had.
That lets you tell an originstory in a way that sounds a lot
more about here's who I am.
I mean, you started that in ourconversation today, like tell
me about you, not tell me whatyou've done right.
And we want to hear about.
We want to hear your originstory.
We want to hear where did youcome from?
(17:35):
Where were you before?
Why are you here?
Why you?
But what too often is what wedo is we go back and we march.
We take a march through time.
I graduated data science fromMIT and then I worked at
McKinsey for three years andthen I launched three products
generating a hundred million inARR.
And now I'm here running thisinitiative.
That's fine in an ARR.
And now I'm here running thisinitiative.
That's fine.
And I know that there's a majorfor folks listening.
(17:56):
There's a major craving to golike yeah, but I have to build
credibility, right, but there isa point in our careers this is
not true for everyone, butthere's a point in our careers
where the fact that you're evenon that stage, in that room or
in that conversation, tells meyou're already credible.
It's right, like you're herefor a frigging reason, yeah, so
(18:20):
now we got to get to like whatis it about you that helps us
understand who you are and yoursort of, what your core drivers
are, and then you can point toselect accomplishments how much
ARR you generated or whatproducts you launched, or you
know what research you've doneas evidence of that drive.
(18:42):
Okay, so that has a littledifferent framework and it
doesn't start from the beginning.
Okay, I know, today I shared,like when I was a kid, I wanted
to be a truck driver because Iwanted, you know, I wanted
adventure.
Right, I'm sharing with you alittle tiny snippet of who I am
and then I can point to otherthings that I've done as
(19:02):
evidence that are more relatedto, maybe, the conversation
we're having.
Yeah, if you're in a salesconversation or you're, you know
, launching a product, I know Isay that a lot.
Okay, so, how an origin story?
What I call?
I call that as provenance.
Your provenance, the origin ofthe core driver, is the birth
(19:23):
place of who you are today,right Of your ideas and your
leadership.
So that is, think of yourorigin story as sort of two
beats.
I am, or always have been,driven by, fill in the blank.
Yeah, I have always beensomebody who loves adventure and
deeply connected experiences.
Those have been important andresonant for me my entire life.
(19:44):
I can't get away from it.
Now.
The second half is, and that iswhy, and that is where you can
add your braggables, thosethings that drove you to doing
these amazing accomplishments.
That is why those twocharacteristics, the things that
matter to me adventure anddeeply connected experiences,
I'm sure are the core reasonswhy I was invited to help Rio de
(20:06):
Janeiro win the right to hostthe 2016 Olympics the
opportunity to work across theOlympic movement with amazing
leaders in that space to helpchange culture in the countries
that host.
That is why I've helped ahundred founders that I've
worked with develop pitches andsecured hundreds of millions of
resources, because it's thedeeply connected experiences
(20:28):
that lets me get to truly whothey are, which is the fuel for
a more powerful story.
So I have always been, or I am,and that is why, versus well,
it all started when I graduated,you know, 15 years ago, from
college and did a science.
Yes, this is a very useful forfolks who are listening, who
(20:50):
maybe this year is going to bethe year where you're in front
of critical audiences doingeither founder-led sales or
executive-led sales, even ifyou're not the sales leader in
your team.
You're executive, but you needto be there to help set your
team up really well, you know.
I'm just going to invite you tofind one or two core stories
that give us a little glimpseinto who you are.
(21:13):
That sets up then yourbraggables and your resume in a
more meaningful way.
I've done this with a lot ofexecutives when they have to
give even keynotes at largeproduct launches.
Well, we're not starting withthat resume.
We're starting with when I wasseven.
I remember one client.
She said this all started forme when my dad gave me a book
about Moore's law when I wasseven years old.
(21:35):
And I'm like lady, you're likea 42 year old woman, like
running this enormousorganization all driven by
technology, and not expect thatyou need to have it when you've
already reached, like she said,where you want to go.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And you know you've already established your
credibility.
But I love the fact that yousaid, dia, that if you're at the
table, if you're in the room,if you're on the stage, you
already have credibility.
So that's going to take me backto what is holding a lot of
leaders back when it comes tothem owning their voice,
(22:35):
powerfully using their voice.
Does a posture syndrome,insecurity, come into play as
they are trying to establishtheir providence, their origin
story?
Is there a belief or lackthereof at the same time that
(22:57):
they're dealing with?
I don't.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I mean sometimes.
So I have a four-part frameworkI use to help founders and
executives develop a moreknowable voice for themselves,
one that they can point to andgo.
Yeah, that's totally me.
Why didn't I ever think oftalking about that?
You know, yes, that says somuch about who I am.
Yes, that's actually what youknow, one of my core beliefs I
should be sharing more often.
(23:20):
And the, the insecurity, is notsomething I come across very
much sometimes and it soundsmaybe kind of surprising, but
it's not.
I wouldn't characterize it asinsecurity.
I'd characterize it sometimesas doubt as to its relevance.
(23:40):
Like you know, it's more likewell, is it relevant that I tell
the story about Moore's lawwhen I like do people really
want to hear that?
Because so many folks I workwith are such strong drivers?
They are as you start, as yousaid earlier, they're like
results, results, results.
But the results are like that'stable stakes at this point.
(24:01):
Of course you're providingresults.
Of course you're.
You know you're moving the balldown the field, but you can
bring your audiences closer toyou when you have the courage to
tell some of these moreessential stories.
And so that it's more likeshows up, more like doubt as to
its relevance and once they seetwo things.
(24:22):
One is that how, from astorytelling perspective, it's
very relevant to this particularmoment to set up why they made
a particular choice to go onedirection or another with a
product or an initiative or acampaign.
Like we can make actual logicalconnections.
But then secondly, okay, herewe go.
We're going to go sideways fora second.
(24:43):
When folks talk to me or come tome to work with me, they often
think what they're looking forare communication skills.
Skills are like where do I putmy hands?
How do I?
You know, how do I, how do Iget better at punchlines in my
stories?
How do I be more brief?
How do I?
Like it's more of the how-tosand less of the who am I and
(25:07):
what's my unique voice.
So when we can get clear onthings like your core stories
for your provenance and others,what you end up doing is solving
a lot of the skills stuff thatpeople come to me for.
I want, you know, I want to.
I want to be able to be funnyon stage or I want to tell a
better story when we're speakingabout something that is very
(25:28):
resonant and true for us.
A lot of that stuff takes careof itself, right.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Right and I would say the confidence takes care of
itself A hundred percent.
You know, when they are tellinga story that they resonate with
and that is kind of ingrainedin them and part of them it's
confidence and it's positivityand it's Even if that confidence
and conviction comes throughwith quiet, intensity or with
(25:58):
slowness, and a concentrated,thoughtful way of telling a
particular story.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Confidence doesn't always mean you're overly
demonstrative.
It just means that there's analignment, quality to how you're
talking to the world and howwe're receiving you.
That is undeniable, and so inthat I would say what folks?
If you're wondering, like, do Ineed to be a better
(26:25):
communicator, I'm going toinvite you to think about.
Like what do you mean by better?
Do you mean skillful, or do youmean having a more robust
leadership voice?
And then, where do those twothings come together?
I want to share, though, that Ido have Bernadette like a
mastery model I think of.
That'll give people a way tothink about when I'm being
(26:46):
compelling, when I'm masterful,like what am I doing?
Am I just really knowing whereto put my hands and how to use
the stage?
No, because you can actually betechnically very good at
delivery and not say anythingthat anybody cares about at all
yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So did you want to talk about that model?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, I just want to share with folks that, like when
I know you are being somasterful and compelling in
front of the room, whetheryou're across a conference table
or in front of an industrystage or on an industry stage is
it when you're one makingcourageous choices and speaking
from the heart, like we can tell, when you're finding the
(27:29):
courage to have everyone expectyou to tell your origin story
from the perspective of yourresume and instead you start by
saying when I was seven, my dadhad handed me a book about
Moore's law.
Like that's a courageous choicethat is aligned to who she
actually is as an executive.
So when you're makingcourageous choices and speaking
from the heart.
One Second one is do you have asense that you're in control in
(27:53):
the moment, that you feel so onsolid ground about your
perspective, about who you are,about why you're in the room,
about that you could kind ofhandle what gets thrown at you,
you know that's.
Two Do you have control in themoment?
And three is do you know you'reset up to have an actual impact
(28:14):
on us, not just to transferinformation?
Nice, so for those reallycritical communications moments,
whether you're an executivegoing to ask for headcount or
budget or approval for someharebrained idea that you really
want to do, or you're a founderout raising funds, or you're an
early career professionallooking to put together some
(28:35):
core stories for the set ofinterviews you might have in
front of you.
Look for those three things.
Do I feel like I'm speakingfrom the heart in a way that it
feels courageous and aligned towho I am?
Do I feel like I could kind ofhandle whatever comes at me and
am I actually having an impacton others?
Do I think I might.
That's a good way to know thatyou have a more robust voice,
(28:57):
that then you can acquire skillsto help bring that to life.
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I love that.
I have to admit, I had anexperience myself where I was in
the front of a room and ithappened to be, you know, I was
up against a wall and I'mtelling my story, what I'll call
my origin story the wall.
And I'm telling my story, whatI'll call my origin story, and I
had said it so many timesbefore.
But it just like you said, itwas at that time.
It wasn't.
I just didn't own it and Ididn't feel it.
(29:25):
And then, all of a sudden, thisparticular engagement I did to
the point where I kind of justlike, sank into the wall and got
very comfortable and just kindof I just thought I could still
feel it to this day how, like,all of a sudden and again it
wasn't outward, it wasn'tdramatic, it was just this level
(29:48):
of confidence that that was me,that was who I was.
That story was, you know whatwas happening that made that
different for you, I think I hadrecounted some parts of the
story and was sharing parts ofthe story that I had not shared
before because they were hardand they were scary for me in
(30:10):
the past.
And here I just found that Ihad reached a point in you know,
in my transformation to where Ijust felt okay with
acknowledging my weaknesses andwhatnot.
Yeah, and it made that story somuch more profound and I just I
, it was just transcending.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So here's a question Did you know why you made that
choice?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yes, I think the room was just so welcoming, like it
was just the interaction I hadhad with the room for the last
couple of hours, and I justthought, okay, this is going to
be important for me to help themand, you know, like you said,
have the impact for them, notjust me spewing.
(30:57):
But in order for me to do that,have the impact I want from
them, I need to go a littledeeper.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Beautiful.
So what you're pointing to as aconcept I lean on a lot, which
is that purpose drives courage.
If you know why you're doing it, it's easier to do it, and you
did.
And so the framework that Iwill share with clients a lot
and is what impact are youtrying to have and what outcome
are you trying to create?
They're not the same.
(31:26):
What impact am I trying to have?
What outcome am I trying tocreate?
And then to ask ourselves okay,well, if I'm going to try to
have that kind of impact, howmight I tell this story in a way
that ups the chances of itactually having that kind of
impact?
And in this case, for you, itsounds like it wasn't the way
that I usually do it, right.
Right, it was sharing, beingmore transparent about an angle
(31:51):
of it, or you were making sortof what was?
It sounds to me like acourageous choice, even though
it felt very I don't want to sayeasy for you, but there was
like there was like an abilityfor you to say yes to it, right.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
That's exactly what how it felt.
Now I do need to.
I do need to ask you about howyou trained to be an auctioneer.
Oh well, and it's so.
When I, when I came across youknow your profile and the work
that you do I was very intriguedby this and plus, I would think
(32:23):
there's a lot of skill therethat also lends itself to the
work that you do, and so can youhelp us understand.
You know, not necessarily thewhole journey of you becoming an
auctioneer, but what you tookaway from it.
That lends itself beautifullyto people asking bigger, leading
louder and winning.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
So I won't give you the whole play by play, but if
people are like listening andgoing, wait, what auctioneer.
I thought she was acommunications coach.
So yes, I've been acommunications coach for two
decades but during a sabbaticalI made good on like a bucket
list threat.
I had made it a dinner tableyears before and I learned to be
an auctioneer like literallyjust for fun.
And when I got back to the BayArea I started doing fundraising
(33:05):
auctioneering for women-lednonprofits and nonprofits
benefiting women and girls,raising money for nonprofits
here in the Bay Area.
It was just a fun, weird againadventure, right Adventure.
And, by the way, also deeplyconnected experience because I
had to be very connected to thepeople that are in the room to
help draw them toward theirgiving selves.
You know, putting togetherstories to secure resources.
(33:27):
That answered the question whatam I asking for?
And with an answer that waswell, whatever, I think that I
(33:51):
can get Meaning.
My clients were saying likewell, I need to build a team for
with 12 heads and I'm onlygoing to ask for six, then I'm
going to piece some 50% timefrom from the engineering team
and I'm going to use somediscretionary like I'm going to
hobble through with fewerbecause they'll never go for 12.
Or you know, I'm looking for$100 million but they'll never
do that.
I'm going to ask for a 50.
Or I'm going to ask for a 20%raise, but they'll never go for
that.
So I'm going to ask for 10.
And for years I was like greatidea, whatever you think you can
(34:27):
get.
I realized like that's not atall what we do as auctioneers.
We actually ask in order to geta no.
I'll open a bid at $1,000.
Somebody puts their paddle inthe air.
I'll ask for $1,500.
Somebody puts a paddle in theair.
I'll ask for $2,000.
Somebody says nobody in theroom says yes to that.
The person that gave me thefirst bid will shake their head
no, and I know that I can sellit for $1,500 because nobody in
the room is going to say I'vehit no, I've effectively touched
(34:48):
the word no and that signals tome that I've maximized the
potential of the ask and then Isell it for a click beneath that
.
But that's not what we do inthe real world.
We usually only ask for what ispretty guaranteed, because if
we ask for something bigger andwe have no idea what kind of
response we'll get.
(35:08):
That puts us in something Ilike to call the zone of
freaking out, which is theopposite of the comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yes, it is, yes, it is.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
So I learned this idea that, like, okay, what if
we actually challenge ourassumptions about what?
Yes, it is.
Like you know, if I think Icould get a 10% raise, what do I
think would get a?
(35:41):
No, there's no way, they'll gofor 20, but I'm going to ask for
20 to test that theory.
Sure Doesn't mean you're notopen to having a conversation
for every increment between 20and 10, but like, do you hear
what I'm doing?
We're just challenging our ownassumptions.
Yes so that was the first thingI learned.
And then I also learned anotherbig one is that price is such a
(36:02):
measure of value, not worth.
I'm selling pieces of art,vacations you know Draymond
Green signature.
You know signed jerseynonprofit.
I'm working with the executivedirector, whoever is like.
They have a very wildlydifferent idea about what
(36:24):
somebody will pay for that thansomebody who pays for it.
I sold a one-night camping tripfor $55,000 once and I sold a
piece of art that was supposedto be quote unquote worth 10
grand for 4,500.
So the thing I learned was thatprice is more of a measure of
(36:49):
what somebody values it's a wayfor us to see what somebody
values and how they value it andless a way for us to define our
own worth or worthiness.
So we really want to uncouplethose two things.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Absolutely, and that's been very helpful.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yeah, that's been very helpful in my practice, my
clients and very helpful for meand my life and world too.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah that's fascinating, fabulous at the
same time.
So if, based on what we'vetalked about, when it comes to
asking bigger, leading louder sothat you can win, regardless of
what the ask is, what would thenumber one tip be that you
would give our listeners andviewers that they can go out and
(37:33):
start working on right now,other than visiting your website
at DMRcom?
Speaker 3 (37:40):
I mean that depends on who you're talking about.
I would say for executives andfounders who are really needing
to build something big, slowdown and let yourself spend some
time really developing yourvoice, like the content of it,
understand and be able toarticulate the world that you
(38:03):
see you want to build and yourrole in it.
And cuffs off man cuffs off.
So that's one For folks, maybeearlier in their career to ask
for what you think will get youa rejection and just see what
happens.
Ask for what you think will getyou a rejection and just see
what happens.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I love that.
I absolutely love it.
No is only a two-letter word,you know, so why not push the
envelope?
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Exactly, and it is true that you might get
rejections.
You don't like, you can'tresuscitate, you might kill
deals.
It's true.
And so I like to think of likeyou're not, you're going to ask,
you're going to, you won't askfor more and get it every single
time.
If you make a practice of it,you're going to ask for more and
get it over time.
Yes, Agreed.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Love it, love it, love it.
Dia, thank you so much.
This has been an absolutelyfascinating conversation and I
appreciate you sharing with allof our listeners and viewers so
much fun.
Thanks, wow, what a powerhouseconversation with Dia Bondi.
If you're walking away with onething from this conversation,
(39:13):
it's that your voice is yourpower, whether you're a founder,
executive or rising leader.
It's not just about speaking up.
It's about knowing what youstand for for, articulating your
unique value proposition andnot being afraid to make bold
asks that push the boundaries ofwhat's possible.
(39:33):
We talked about the differencebetween credibility and presence
and how owning your originstory, not your resume, can be
the game changer in how you'reseen and heard.
Dia reminded us that the roomyou're in already confirms your
worth.
Now it's time to show up, speakup and lead louder, and my
(39:58):
favorite personal takeaway wasdon't be afraid to ask for what
it is that might get you a no.
That's how we test our limitsand expand what we're really
capable of receiving.
If this episode resonated withyou, be sure to like, subscribe
and follow the show atballoffirecoachingcom forward
(40:19):
slash podcast and even share theepisode with those around you,
those on your team, and ifyou're ready to elevate your
voice, leadership or your career?
Then book a free discovery callwith me at coachmeberndettecom.
Forward slash discovery calland let me give you some tips
and advice and a plan for howyou can move forward and become
(40:40):
that powerhouse leader that youwant to be.
Until next time, own your voiceand lead with bold confidence.
Talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding
the Corporate Bitch.
Every journey taken together isanother step towards unleashing
the powerhouse leader withinyou.
Don't miss any of our weeklyepisodes.
Subscribe to our podcast onApple Podcasts, spotify or
wherever you love to listen.
And, for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(41:11):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
Welcome back to Shedding the Corporate Bits, the
podcast where we ditch thestatus quo and redefine what
powerhouse leadership reallylooks like.
Today's episode is amasterclass in commanding
attention, making bold asks andowning the mic, and I've got
just the powerhouse to deliverit.
Meet Dia Bondi.
She's a communications catalystfor high-impact leaders, a
(00:26):
keynote pro and the author ofAsk.
Like an Auctioneer.
She's coached executives atGoogle X, salesforce, dropbox
and even helped Rio land the2016 Olympics.
Yeah, she's that good.
We're diving into how you canlead with more impact and
clarity, maximize every ask forbigger, better results and craft
(00:49):
a magnetic origin story thatsells your value before you even
drop the mic.
Here's what you walk away withthe power to ask for more and
actually get it by breaking yourown limiting assumptions.
A bold reminder that your voiceisn't just a communication tool
.
It's your leadership weapon anda fresh way to use your story
(01:12):
to build instant trust andcontext for your success.
Corporate leaders, it's time tostop playing small.
If you're ready to influencedecisions, drive results and
finally speak with the authorityyour role demands, this episode
is for you, so let's get intoit.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
(01:51):
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Dia, welcome, welcome , welcome.
How are you?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I'm good.
I was just saying that springhas sprung and when the sun's
out I feel better abouteverything.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
It is a beautiful, beautifulthing no longer hibernating.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
No, I'm ready.
I'm ready to be outside.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You and me both, you and me both.
Well, I am very much lookingforward to this conversation,
all about using one's voice toget what they want and doing it
powerfully and boldly, as youwill share with us Before we do.
I love our listeners andviewers to get to know our
guests on a personal level, socan you share a little bit about
(02:55):
Dia?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Well, I grew up in Northern California and from the
time I was a little kid I hadwell, all my friends had the
fantasies of being, you know, afireman or a nurse or a teacher,
those boxes that you sort ofhave you know about when you're
little.
I wanted to be a long haultruck driver.
That was my fantasy.
I wanted my own 18 wheeler thatwas sparkly and chromed out
(03:19):
potentially purple, maybe red.
And it's funny now that I lookback on that I realized that
that was sort of a foreshadowingof like what I would actually
do later in life, because it wasabout being out on the road and
having adventures.
You know it was about.
It was about being sort of asingular voice in this sea.
At that time I mean it was the70s, at that time there were no
(03:41):
women truck drivers, so I hadthis picture of myself being
sort of out on the road as thislone ranger and I spent a lot of
my time in Northern Californiauntil I got my first I'm going
to call it a gig, because that'sreally what it was and I got to
travel the world teachingcommunication skills for
technology companies, packagedfoods and beyond.
But it still had that.
(04:02):
It was a recognizable feelingof like getting in an airplane
and flying halfway across theworld had that same quality that
I was looking for when I was soyoung, of like getting in an 18
wheeler and heading to Wichita,you know.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And what would you say was, from all that traveling
, what would you say was thebiggest lesson that you learned,
becoming kind of a nomad or,you know, a traveler, especially
if you're going to differentcultures, different environments
?
What would you say?
It would be.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You know it's funny, I don't.
That seems like such an obviousquestion and I don't get it
very often.
So you know the nature of thework that I was doing and still
do today, but those are sort ofearly days in my career really
required.
You know, I was cross-culturalbut I was working mostly with
American companies that hadoffices abroad.
(04:54):
So they were, you know thetalent there was local talent
but was crashing into theculture of the American
companies that they were workingwith.
So I was at this interestingspot where people in the rooms
were even talking about how theyare more compelling as a, with
their voice in a way, in a verymulticultural environment.
(05:15):
And I'm not, you know, I'm notsuper versed on.
You know, I'm not like aHofstede, you know, a disciple
or anything.
So I don't, I'm not superversed in cross-cultural
communication, although I had tolearn.
And so the thing that I, thething that was always most
obvious to me, was that I had tointentionally stay extremely
(05:37):
open to how people might impactme in any moment, so that I
could draw on the wisdom of theroom and not just trust my like
what my experience was, becauseI came from only one perspective
.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So the big lesson was about like sort of trusting
trusting the room, not justtrusting myself when I was
working with clients to go likewhat makes what about the way
you tell a story is socompelling?
What do we want more from you?
Not just what I want more fromyou, what do we?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right, yeah, that's fascinating, especially if you
have that early in your career.
It's such a great foundationfor then springboarding your
leadership and overallcontribution that you're making,
especially in the type of workyou're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Totally and it also really forced me to be extremely
like contribution that you'remaking, especially in the type
of work you're doing Totally.
And it also really forced me tobe extremely like open but also
like agile.
You know, because now I alwayssay with clients that I'm not.
You know, I've been aleadership communications coach
now for over 20 years but I'mnot industry specific.
I'm very industry agnostic, butI'm not industry specific.
I'm very industry agnostic.
(06:44):
So if I'm doing work in CPG orblockchain or SAS or education
or you know, like across theboard in that way it's also like
traveling I have to be willingto not know and not have that
knock or shake my confidencevery much, because I could lean
back on again to like opennessand the knowledge of the wisdom,
of that's in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Right, there's nothing better than being
curious and always, always,always learning.
And yet I can imagine you knowto kind of segue into our
conversation today.
I could imagine that a lot ofthe leaders that you work with,
they get a little bit, I wouldsay, insecure about having to
(07:27):
swallow their pride andacknowledge that they don't know
something.
Is that a fair assessment ofthem?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So I work with in my communications work.
I work specifically with twopopulations.
I work specifically with twopopulations senior leaders and
organizations that are usuallyVP level and above, and not the
kind of VP level and above thatyou find in like finance, where,
like you, could be two yearsout of college, have no direct
reports and be called a VP.
I know so whenever I hear VPI'm like yes, but help, like
(08:03):
build the world for me.
So I understand what you mean byVP.
Yeah, no, no, you know, notknocking on folks in finance,
but it's not always the same.
And then VC backed founders whoare usually Series B and beyond
and in the founder world.
You know, while a lot of thefounders I work with are very
confident people, they have a,they have a strong vision,
(08:23):
they're very, they're well, verywell versed in building
products there, but they'regrowing into their leadership
and operator voice and you knowthere's a lot of stuff they're
really happy to say I don't knowabout.
You know, in both a way thatallows them to maintain
curiosity, but in some ways ithas them hand over their power.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That is pleasantly surprising to me, you know, only
because those that don't workon the VC world, you know, would
probably look at certainindividuals as, oh, that's a
very, you know kind of intenseand you know very prideful
ego-driven of industry.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So it's nice to hear I mean, it is intense, that is
true.
And there is, you know, thisinteresting dance of like a
required stubbornness around thevision that you have for what
you're building, becauseeverybody's going to tell you
why it doesn't work and why youshould be doing it differently.
So there's this and thenthere's this interesting
dichotomy at the same time, theyhave to maintain a strong
(09:31):
openness to pivot and follow themarket and, you know, build
today, what an expression of theproduct or the service they're
trying to provide in a way thatis surprising to them, they
didn't think they would do.
And then the third component islike managing this, like what
do I have conviction about andwhere do I too easily give over
my power?
(09:51):
Because I'm new, I'm a firsttime founder or I haven't done
this before.
You know a lot of you know wewere talking about.
You know this show is titled Aska Bigger, lead Louder and Win
More.
The lead louder part, when Ithink about helping founders and
leaders speak powerfully atreally critical moments, means
actually recognizing your pointof view, and that doesn't mean
(10:16):
you're not open to seeing otherpoints of view.
But you need to know whatyou're after, what you're about,
what your core principles arewhat you want and have clarity
and commitment to that.
Otherwise, it's too easy tocome at everything in a way that
nobody knows where you stand onanything, right?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
right.
So they're just, like you know,kind of grabbing at everything
and everything and trying toplease everybody.
Well, correct, would you saythat that is one of the things
that, even outside the VC world,hold back a lot of leaders.
What do you find to be thebiggest challenges holding
leaders back by really having apowerful voice?
Speaker 3 (11:06):
with have no problem speaking up.
That's not the issue.
You know, when I say, whenclients work with me, they'll
say like oh my God, I found myvoice and it's not like I used
to not be able to speak up andnow I can speak up.
I mean, these people are seniorfolks.
That's not the thing.
What the thing is is that theyhaven't taken the time or
realized that it would be usefulfor them to stop for a minute
and and spend some timearticulating and developing
(11:28):
their unique take in the worldthat then they can take with
them anywhere they go.
So it's like they've gotshort-term reactions and takes
and opinions about, maybe aninitiative they're working on, a
strategy that they'redeveloping, like what's right in
front of them.
But I don't want to say that itholds them back because it's
not a restraining thing.
(11:49):
It's like they miss theopportunity to accelerate
because they don't think aboutthe.
They don't think about theirgreater voice in their domain.
What is it that they really wantto be known for?
What is their core leadershipphilosophy that they're bringing
everywhere they go, no mattertheir job or role or company
that they're in?
What?
How do they articulate andunderstand the purpose of their,
(12:10):
their purpose in the room, andI'm not talking about, like life
purpose.
I'm talking about, like, therole you play regardless of your
job.
Are you a peacemaker?
Are you like and really namingit and claiming it?
You know, naming and claimingit, that's a big piece, a lot of
this stuff.
You know they kind of.
(12:31):
I was thinking about a specificVP I worked with in product last
year for a large SaaS companyand he, you know it took me a
good 20 minutes into our firstcall for me to even understand
what his bigger take was on howyou develop and deploy products
using AI.
And I'm like, why isn't thistake something that I can get
(12:54):
from you sooner?
And he was kind of keeping it asecret.
We're keeping his job functionbeing the main narrative of his
leadership.
And I'm like no, at your level,you've got to bring that bigger
take on how we build and deployproducts in the world using AI.
So it's just very because thedownside is, because the
(13:15):
downside is your, your.
This is going to sound funny,but it's like the downside is
you become anonymous, Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Okay, dig into that a little bit more.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, I know that's sort of an extreme way to say it
, but it's the difference, Ithink, between very tactical, in
how we communicate in ourcareers and how we use our
voices to carve a path for thefuture.
Here's an example I have afounder I was working with this
last year who went into a reallyto try to anonymize some of
these conversations, some ofthese examples, just, yeah, to
(13:49):
be discreet.
Going into a really criticalI'm going to call it a
partnership conversation, goinginto a really critical, I'm
going to call it a partnershipconversation.
And you know this founder hadbeen so mired in the tactics of
what they were building.
You know that they lived andbreathed their pitch deck.
What am I building?
Who is it for?
How big is the problem?
What are we disrupting?
You know how do we address it?
What does the product look like?
(14:09):
What is the team?
Right, and this is verytactical, that's fine, but we
can hear those storieseverywhere.
What we did was work to go likeyes, but what is the what is it
that?
You see, that is the future ofthis domain, this particular
industry, and he was able toarticulate, after working
together, we were able toarticulate something that felt
(14:29):
highly differentiated and a muchmore powerful.
Not so like.
I'm a, I'm an executive of a,of a potential partner for you.
You're a founder, coming inwith your pitch deck yet again
and are going to pitch me withthe same sort of type of a story
rhythm that I always hear.
We were able to elevate it in away that helped him articulate
(14:50):
in the world what he reallywhere he sees the direction of
the business, not his business,the business, the domain, the
industry and that made him lessof like a founder who's yapping
you know, a founder who'syapping and shopping his wares
to having a meaningful, elevatedconversation about the future
of their shared domain, suchthat they could see where their
(15:13):
visions overlapped and carved apath for both of them.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, and he's, and he's.
He or she is positioningthemselves as a visionary as far
as a driver toward where theywant the industry to go.
And that's actually thatseparates them from anybody else
.
That's just simply kind of likeyou said pitching- yes, and you
(15:38):
know so selfishly they want.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
we want this for founders and executives because
when they do this, they have amuch more robust voice that they
can bet on, that they can trustand rely on and that they can
use to help the world understandwhy them A more significant
voice that they can then lend tothe business that they're
(16:03):
building, the initiative thatthey're running, the leadership
that they're asked to engage inwherever they are.
You know, sometimes we sort ofconflate the job that we have
with the stories that we'retelling.
But I really love helpingfounders and the job that we
have with the stories that we'retelling.
But I really love helpingfounders and executives see that
they have a distinct voice inthe market that they then lend
to their ventures.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Love that Now you speak about the origin story.
I do, and so help us understandhow, especially in a world
obsessed with results, you know.
So it is about the numbers and,almost like the tactical that
you mentioned, how can theyreally lean in on an origin
(16:44):
story?
What is it for those listeningthat may not understand it?
And then you know how can oneleverage their origin story.
Sure.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
So an origin story can sound like your resume what
got you here, what did you dothat got you here?
And when I think about anexecutive or a founder or
leader's origin story, I want toshift it from what have you
done to who are you.
That builds the context for whyyou're here and builds context
(17:14):
for the relevant accomplishmentsthat you've had.
That lets you tell an originstory in a way that sounds a lot
more about here's who I am.
I mean, you started that in ourconversation today, like tell
me about you, not tell me whatyou've done right.
And we want to hear about.
We want to hear your originstory.
We want to hear where did youcome from?
(17:35):
Where were you before?
Why are you here?
Why you?
But what too often is what wedo is we go back and we march.
We take a march through time.
I graduated data science fromMIT and then I worked at
McKinsey for three years andthen I launched three products
generating a hundred million inARR.
And now I'm here running thisinitiative.
That's fine in an ARR.
And now I'm here running thisinitiative.
That's fine.
And I know that there's a majorfor folks listening.
(17:56):
There's a major craving to golike yeah, but I have to build
credibility, right, but there isa point in our careers this is
not true for everyone, butthere's a point in our careers
where the fact that you're evenon that stage, in that room or
in that conversation, tells meyou're already credible.
It's right, like you're herefor a frigging reason, yeah, so
(18:20):
now we got to get to like whatis it about you that helps us
understand who you are and yoursort of, what your core drivers
are, and then you can point toselect accomplishments how much
ARR you generated or whatproducts you launched, or you
know what research you've doneas evidence of that drive.
(18:42):
Okay, so that has a littledifferent framework and it
doesn't start from the beginning.
Okay, I know, today I shared,like when I was a kid, I wanted
to be a truck driver because Iwanted, you know, I wanted
adventure.
Right, I'm sharing with you alittle tiny snippet of who I am
and then I can point to otherthings that I've done as
(19:02):
evidence that are more relatedto, maybe, the conversation
we're having.
Yeah, if you're in a salesconversation or you're, you know
, launching a product, I know Isay that a lot.
Okay, so, how an origin story?
What I call?
I call that as provenance.
Your provenance, the origin ofthe core driver, is the birth
(19:23):
place of who you are today,right Of your ideas and your
leadership.
So that is, think of yourorigin story as sort of two
beats.
I am, or always have been,driven by, fill in the blank.
Yeah, I have always beensomebody who loves adventure and
deeply connected experiences.
Those have been important andresonant for me my entire life.
(19:44):
I can't get away from it.
Now.
The second half is, and that iswhy, and that is where you can
add your braggables, thosethings that drove you to doing
these amazing accomplishments.
That is why those twocharacteristics, the things that
matter to me adventure anddeeply connected experiences,
I'm sure are the core reasonswhy I was invited to help Rio de
(20:06):
Janeiro win the right to hostthe 2016 Olympics the
opportunity to work across theOlympic movement with amazing
leaders in that space to helpchange culture in the countries
that host.
That is why I've helped ahundred founders that I've
worked with develop pitches andsecured hundreds of millions of
resources, because it's thedeeply connected experiences
(20:28):
that lets me get to truly whothey are, which is the fuel for
a more powerful story.
So I have always been, or I am,and that is why, versus well,
it all started when I graduated,you know, 15 years ago, from
college and did a science.
Yes, this is a very useful forfolks who are listening, who
(20:50):
maybe this year is going to bethe year where you're in front
of critical audiences doingeither founder-led sales or
executive-led sales, even ifyou're not the sales leader in
your team.
You're executive, but you needto be there to help set your
team up really well, you know.
I'm just going to invite you tofind one or two core stories
that give us a little glimpseinto who you are.
(21:13):
That sets up then yourbraggables and your resume in a
more meaningful way.
I've done this with a lot ofexecutives when they have to
give even keynotes at largeproduct launches.
Well, we're not starting withthat resume.
We're starting with when I wasseven.
I remember one client.
She said this all started forme when my dad gave me a book
about Moore's law when I wasseven years old.
(21:35):
And I'm like lady, you're likea 42 year old woman, like
running this enormousorganization all driven by
technology, and not expect thatyou need to have it when you've
already reached, like she said,where you want to go.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And you know you've already established your
credibility.
But I love the fact that yousaid, dia, that if you're at the
table, if you're in the room,if you're on the stage, you
already have credibility.
So that's going to take me backto what is holding a lot of
leaders back when it comes tothem owning their voice,
(22:35):
powerfully using their voice.
Does a posture syndrome,insecurity, come into play as
they are trying to establishtheir providence, their origin
story?
Is there a belief or lackthereof at the same time that
(22:57):
they're dealing with?
I don't.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I mean sometimes.
So I have a four-part frameworkI use to help founders and
executives develop a moreknowable voice for themselves,
one that they can point to andgo.
Yeah, that's totally me.
Why didn't I ever think oftalking about that?
You know, yes, that says somuch about who I am.
Yes, that's actually what youknow, one of my core beliefs I
should be sharing more often.
(23:20):
And the, the insecurity, is notsomething I come across very
much sometimes and it soundsmaybe kind of surprising, but
it's not.
I wouldn't characterize it asinsecurity.
I'd characterize it sometimesas doubt as to its relevance.
(23:40):
Like you know, it's more likewell, is it relevant that I tell
the story about Moore's lawwhen I like do people really
want to hear that?
Because so many folks I workwith are such strong drivers?
They are as you start, as yousaid earlier, they're like
results, results, results.
But the results are like that'stable stakes at this point.
(24:01):
Of course you're providingresults.
Of course you're.
You know you're moving the balldown the field, but you can
bring your audiences closer toyou when you have the courage to
tell some of these moreessential stories.
And so that it's more likeshows up, more like doubt as to
its relevance and once they seetwo things.
(24:22):
One is that how, from astorytelling perspective, it's
very relevant to this particularmoment to set up why they made
a particular choice to go onedirection or another with a
product or an initiative or acampaign.
Like we can make actual logicalconnections.
But then secondly, okay, herewe go.
We're going to go sideways fora second.
(24:43):
When folks talk to me or come tome to work with me, they often
think what they're looking forare communication skills.
Skills are like where do I putmy hands?
How do I?
You know, how do I, how do Iget better at punchlines in my
stories?
How do I be more brief?
How do I?
Like it's more of the how-tosand less of the who am I and
(25:07):
what's my unique voice.
So when we can get clear onthings like your core stories
for your provenance and others,what you end up doing is solving
a lot of the skills stuff thatpeople come to me for.
I want, you know, I want to.
I want to be able to be funnyon stage or I want to tell a
better story when we're speakingabout something that is very
(25:28):
resonant and true for us.
A lot of that stuff takes careof itself, right.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Right and I would say the confidence takes care of
itself A hundred percent.
You know, when they are tellinga story that they resonate with
and that is kind of ingrainedin them and part of them it's
confidence and it's positivityand it's Even if that confidence
and conviction comes throughwith quiet, intensity or with
(25:58):
slowness, and a concentrated,thoughtful way of telling a
particular story.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Confidence doesn't always mean you're overly
demonstrative.
It just means that there's analignment, quality to how you're
talking to the world and howwe're receiving you.
That is undeniable, and so inthat I would say what folks?
If you're wondering, like, do Ineed to be a better
(26:25):
communicator, I'm going toinvite you to think about.
Like what do you mean by better?
Do you mean skillful, or do youmean having a more robust
leadership voice?
And then, where do those twothings come together?
I want to share, though, that Ido have Bernadette like a
mastery model I think of.
That'll give people a way tothink about when I'm being
(26:46):
compelling, when I'm masterful,like what am I doing?
Am I just really knowing whereto put my hands and how to use
the stage?
No, because you can actually betechnically very good at
delivery and not say anythingthat anybody cares about at all
yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So did you want to talk about that model?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, I just want to share with folks that, like when
I know you are being somasterful and compelling in
front of the room, whetheryou're across a conference table
or in front of an industrystage or on an industry stage is
it when you're one makingcourageous choices and speaking
from the heart, like we can tell, when you're finding the
(27:29):
courage to have everyone expectyou to tell your origin story
from the perspective of yourresume and instead you start by
saying when I was seven, my dadhad handed me a book about
Moore's law.
Like that's a courageous choicethat is aligned to who she
actually is as an executive.
So when you're makingcourageous choices and speaking
from the heart.
One Second one is do you have asense that you're in control in
(27:53):
the moment, that you feel so onsolid ground about your
perspective, about who you are,about why you're in the room,
about that you could kind ofhandle what gets thrown at you,
you know that's.
Two Do you have control in themoment?
And three is do you know you'reset up to have an actual impact
(28:14):
on us, not just to transferinformation?
Nice, so for those reallycritical communications moments,
whether you're an executivegoing to ask for headcount or
budget or approval for someharebrained idea that you really
want to do, or you're a founderout raising funds, or you're an
early career professionallooking to put together some
(28:35):
core stories for the set ofinterviews you might have in
front of you.
Look for those three things.
Do I feel like I'm speakingfrom the heart in a way that it
feels courageous and aligned towho I am?
Do I feel like I could kind ofhandle whatever comes at me and
am I actually having an impacton others?
Do I think I might.
That's a good way to know thatyou have a more robust voice,
(28:57):
that then you can acquire skillsto help bring that to life.
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I love that.
I have to admit, I had anexperience myself where I was in
the front of a room and ithappened to be, you know, I was
up against a wall and I'mtelling my story, what I'll call
my origin story the wall.
And I'm telling my story, whatI'll call my origin story, and I
had said it so many timesbefore.
But it just like you said, itwas at that time.
It wasn't.
I just didn't own it and Ididn't feel it.
(29:25):
And then, all of a sudden, thisparticular engagement I did to
the point where I kind of justlike, sank into the wall and got
very comfortable and just kindof I just thought I could still
feel it to this day how, like,all of a sudden and again it
wasn't outward, it wasn'tdramatic, it was just this level
(29:48):
of confidence that that was me,that was who I was.
That story was, you know whatwas happening that made that
different for you, I think I hadrecounted some parts of the
story and was sharing parts ofthe story that I had not shared
before because they were hardand they were scary for me in
(30:10):
the past.
And here I just found that Ihad reached a point in you know,
in my transformation to where Ijust felt okay with
acknowledging my weaknesses andwhatnot.
Yeah, and it made that story somuch more profound and I just I
, it was just transcending.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So here's a question Did you know why you made that
choice?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yes, I think the room was just so welcoming, like it
was just the interaction I hadhad with the room for the last
couple of hours, and I justthought, okay, this is going to
be important for me to help themand, you know, like you said,
have the impact for them, notjust me spewing.
(30:57):
But in order for me to do that,have the impact I want from
them, I need to go a littledeeper.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Beautiful.
So what you're pointing to as aconcept I lean on a lot, which
is that purpose drives courage.
If you know why you're doing it, it's easier to do it, and you
did.
And so the framework that Iwill share with clients a lot
and is what impact are youtrying to have and what outcome
are you trying to create?
They're not the same.
(31:26):
What impact am I trying to have?
What outcome am I trying tocreate?
And then to ask ourselves okay,well, if I'm going to try to
have that kind of impact, howmight I tell this story in a way
that ups the chances of itactually having that kind of
impact?
And in this case, for you, itsounds like it wasn't the way
that I usually do it, right.
Right, it was sharing, beingmore transparent about an angle
(31:51):
of it, or you were making sortof what was?
It sounds to me like acourageous choice, even though
it felt very I don't want to sayeasy for you, but there was
like there was like an abilityfor you to say yes to it, right.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
That's exactly what how it felt.
Now I do need to.
I do need to ask you about howyou trained to be an auctioneer.
Oh well, and it's so.
When I, when I came across youknow your profile and the work
that you do I was very intriguedby this and plus, I would think
(32:23):
there's a lot of skill therethat also lends itself to the
work that you do, and so can youhelp us understand.
You know, not necessarily thewhole journey of you becoming an
auctioneer, but what you tookaway from it.
That lends itself beautifullyto people asking bigger, leading
louder and winning.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
So I won't give you the whole play by play, but if
people are like listening andgoing, wait, what auctioneer.
I thought she was acommunications coach.
So yes, I've been acommunications coach for two
decades but during a sabbaticalI made good on like a bucket
list threat.
I had made it a dinner tableyears before and I learned to be
an auctioneer like literallyjust for fun.
And when I got back to the BayArea I started doing fundraising
(33:05):
auctioneering for women-lednonprofits and nonprofits
benefiting women and girls,raising money for nonprofits
here in the Bay Area.
It was just a fun, weird againadventure, right Adventure.
And, by the way, also deeplyconnected experience because I
had to be very connected to thepeople that are in the room to
help draw them toward theirgiving selves.
You know, putting togetherstories to secure resources.
(33:27):
That answered the question whatam I asking for?
And with an answer that waswell, whatever, I think that I
(33:51):
can get Meaning.
My clients were saying likewell, I need to build a team for
with 12 heads and I'm onlygoing to ask for six, then I'm
going to piece some 50% timefrom from the engineering team
and I'm going to use somediscretionary like I'm going to
hobble through with fewerbecause they'll never go for 12.
Or you know, I'm looking for$100 million but they'll never
do that.
I'm going to ask for a 50.
Or I'm going to ask for a 20%raise, but they'll never go for
that.
So I'm going to ask for 10.
And for years I was like greatidea, whatever you think you can
(34:27):
get.
I realized like that's not atall what we do as auctioneers.
We actually ask in order to geta no.
I'll open a bid at $1,000.
Somebody puts their paddle inthe air.
I'll ask for $1,500.
Somebody puts a paddle in theair.
I'll ask for $2,000.
Somebody says nobody in theroom says yes to that.
The person that gave me thefirst bid will shake their head
no, and I know that I can sellit for $1,500 because nobody in
the room is going to say I'vehit no, I've effectively touched
(34:48):
the word no and that signals tome that I've maximized the
potential of the ask and then Isell it for a click beneath that
.
But that's not what we do inthe real world.
We usually only ask for what ispretty guaranteed, because if
we ask for something bigger andwe have no idea what kind of
response we'll get.
(35:08):
That puts us in something Ilike to call the zone of
freaking out, which is theopposite of the comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yes, it is, yes, it is.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
So I learned this idea that, like, okay, what if
we actually challenge ourassumptions about what?
Yes, it is.
Like you know, if I think Icould get a 10% raise, what do I
think would get a?
(35:41):
No, there's no way, they'll gofor 20, but I'm going to ask for
20 to test that theory.
Sure Doesn't mean you're notopen to having a conversation
for every increment between 20and 10, but like, do you hear
what I'm doing?
We're just challenging our ownassumptions.
Yes so that was the first thingI learned.
And then I also learned anotherbig one is that price is such a
(36:02):
measure of value, not worth.
I'm selling pieces of art,vacations you know Draymond
Green signature.
You know signed jerseynonprofit.
I'm working with the executivedirector, whoever is like.
They have a very wildlydifferent idea about what
(36:24):
somebody will pay for that thansomebody who pays for it.
I sold a one-night camping tripfor $55,000 once and I sold a
piece of art that was supposedto be quote unquote worth 10
grand for 4,500.
So the thing I learned was thatprice is more of a measure of
(36:49):
what somebody values it's a wayfor us to see what somebody
values and how they value it andless a way for us to define our
own worth or worthiness.
So we really want to uncouplethose two things.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Absolutely, and that's been very helpful.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yeah, that's been very helpful in my practice, my
clients and very helpful for meand my life and world too.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah that's fascinating, fabulous at the
same time.
So if, based on what we'vetalked about, when it comes to
asking bigger, leading louder sothat you can win, regardless of
what the ask is, what would thenumber one tip be that you
would give our listeners andviewers that they can go out and
(37:33):
start working on right now,other than visiting your website
at DMRcom?
Speaker 3 (37:40):
I mean that depends on who you're talking about.
I would say for executives andfounders who are really needing
to build something big, slowdown and let yourself spend some
time really developing yourvoice, like the content of it,
understand and be able toarticulate the world that you
(38:03):
see you want to build and yourrole in it.
And cuffs off man cuffs off.
So that's one For folks, maybeearlier in their career to ask
for what you think will get youa rejection and just see what
happens.
Ask for what you think will getyou a rejection and just see
what happens.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I love that.
I absolutely love it.
No is only a two-letter word,you know, so why not push the
envelope?
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Exactly, and it is true that you might get
rejections.
You don't like, you can'tresuscitate, you might kill
deals.
It's true.
And so I like to think of likeyou're not, you're going to ask,
you're going to, you won't askfor more and get it every single
time.
If you make a practice of it,you're going to ask for more and
get it over time.
Yes, Agreed.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Love it, love it, love it.
Dia, thank you so much.
This has been an absolutelyfascinating conversation and I
appreciate you sharing with allof our listeners and viewers so
much fun.
Thanks, wow, what a powerhouseconversation with Dia Bondi.
If you're walking away with onething from this conversation,
(39:13):
it's that your voice is yourpower, whether you're a founder,
executive or rising leader.
It's not just about speaking up.
It's about knowing what youstand for for, articulating your
unique value proposition andnot being afraid to make bold
asks that push the boundaries ofwhat's possible.
(39:33):
We talked about the differencebetween credibility and presence
and how owning your originstory, not your resume, can be
the game changer in how you'reseen and heard.
Dia reminded us that the roomyou're in already confirms your
worth.
Now it's time to show up, speakup and lead louder, and my
(39:58):
favorite personal takeaway wasdon't be afraid to ask for what
it is that might get you a no.
That's how we test our limitsand expand what we're really
capable of receiving.
If this episode resonated withyou, be sure to like, subscribe
and follow the show atballoffirecoachingcom forward
(40:19):
slash podcast and even share theepisode with those around you,
those on your team, and ifyou're ready to elevate your
voice, leadership or your career?
Then book a free discovery callwith me at coachmeberndettecom.
Forward slash discovery calland let me give you some tips
and advice and a plan for howyou can move forward and become
(40:40):
that powerhouse leader that youwant to be.
Until next time, own your voiceand lead with bold confidence.
Talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding
the Corporate Bitch.
Every journey taken together isanother step towards unleashing
the powerhouse leader withinyou.
Don't miss any of our weeklyepisodes.
Subscribe to our podcast onApple Podcasts, spotify or
wherever you love to listen.
And, for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(41:11):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
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