April 22, 2025 • 34 mins
Are you intentional about who sits at your table of career success?
In this thought-provoking episode, host Bernadette Boas dives deep into the essential relationships you need to fuel your career growth and personal transformation. She unpacks why creating a circle of influence—your own “Personal Board of Directors”—isn’t just a nice-to-have, but a critical strategy for anyone determined to thrive at any stage of their journey.
Challenges Professionals Face:
- Navigating corporate life or entrepreneurship without the right support system
- Confusing the roles of coaches, mentors, advocates, and sponsors
- Failing to seek or cultivate key relationships that impact advancement and opportunities
- Struggling to showcase your achievements or take the initiative for your own growth
Key Talking Points:
- Why Relationships Matter: Relationships are central to career and personal success. Bernadette illustrates how they influence opportunities, insights, and your overall trajectory.
- Roles Defined:
- Coaches: Focused on performance, accountability, and short-term goal setting. May be internal, external, formal, or informal.
- Mentors: Offer guidance based on their own experience, helping you navigate processes, people, and decision-making. Typically less structured and ad hoc.
- Advocates: People within your organization who actively support and promote your accomplishments behind the scenes.
- Sponsors: Influential leaders invested in your advancement, leveraging their own power to champion your high-visibility projects and opportunities.
- Board of Directors: A carefully curated mix of all of the above, including those outside your professional sphere (friends, family, community leaders) for holistic advice.
- Debunking Myths: Coaching isn’t just for “troubled” employees—it’s a growth catalyst!
- Cultivating Relationships: Why building, maintaining, and giving back to your network provides career insurance at every level.
Bernadette encourages listeners to “shed the bitches”—ditch self-doubt, fear, and hesitancy—to become the powerhouse leader you’re meant to be. Whether you’re 30 or 65, it’s never too late (or early) to build the structures that will skyrocket your career and life.
Connect with Bernadette:
- LinkedIn: @BernadetteBoas
- Instagram: @balloffirebernadette
- Podcast updates: Shedding the Corporate Bitch Podcast
SHARE, LIKE, and FOLLOW the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.
Tune in, take notes, and step up—your Power Circle awaits!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Have you considered who you need to have as part of
your circle of influence fromthe beginning to the end of your
career and who have you engagedthus far as part of your own
career and personal board ofdirectors?
That's right board of directors, being that relationships are
absolutely critical to one'soverall career and life success.
(00:28):
We need to talk about theintentional focus and thought
process you're putting in toformulating a board of advisors
and guides who can accelerateyour career success and help you
avoid major pitfalls whileelevating your leadership style.
So we're going to discuss thevarious types of advisors and
(00:50):
guides who you should make partof that circle of influence and
some examples of how you couldbe leveraging each one of those
types of individuals.
Lastly, I'm going to give you10 strategies of how you can be
leveraging these individualsright now and as you move
forward in your career andactually and in your life.
So stay with us.
(01:12):
Welcome, welcome, welcome toShedding the Corporate Bitch,
the podcast that transformscorporate executives into
powerhouse leaders by showingthem how to shed the challenges
and overwhelm, along with anyfear, insecurity, self-doubt and
negativity holding them back.
I'm your host, bernadette Bowes, of Ball of Fire Coaching,
bringing you powerhousediscussions each week to share
(01:36):
tips, advice and sometimes toughlove so you create the riches
in your work and life youdeserve.
Let's do this.
Create the riches in your workand life you deserve.
Let's do this.
Who are your coaches, mentors,advocates or sponsors?
Do you have them?
If not, then you're in theperfect place, because that's
what we're going to discusstoday and it's a subject I
(01:56):
absolutely love because it's asubject that is critical to not
only your overall career pathbut your success, and I spend a
good amount of time working onthis subject of coaches, mentors
, sponsors and advocates with myclients.
Whether it's a career decisionthat you're making, whether it's
(02:17):
a job opportunity or aadvancement opportunity, whether
it's a challenge that you'rehaving in the workplace, you
want to be able to have, kind ofyour tribe, your circle of
individuals that can really helpguide and support you through
those things.
And that's why, whether it's atbeginning of the year
(02:40):
performance reviews, when we'retalking about goals or we're
establishing goal, or it'smid-year, or it is when we're
sitting down and assessing wheresomeone is from a milestone
achievement, this subject comesup simply because, if you have
any ambition at all, whether youare a new manager or you're a
(03:05):
seasoned manager.
You want to ensure that youhave these individuals in
hands-distance view in order foryou to leverage their expertise
, their experience, theirsupport, their advocacy.
So it is vital that you engagethem, build relationships with
(03:27):
them, learn and grow from themand lean on them for whatever it
is that you might need, andwe're going to talk about that,
we're going to talk about thedifferent types, we're going to
talk about examples, and thenI'm going to give you 10
strategies for actually goingabout building these type of
relationships.
All right, so let's first getinto the different types, and I
(03:48):
mentioned.
There's coaches, mentors,advocates and sponsors.
There's also what I call yourcareer or personal board of
directors.
So let's look at coaches Now.
Coaches can be professionalcoaches, like myself, or they
could be someone within yourcompany in a prior company.
Whatever the case might be,these individuals are really
(04:10):
focused on your performance,short-term goals as well as
long-term, but their focus isgoing to be short-term.
Their focus is going to be okay.
So in three to five years, youwant to get to X, but yet we
want to break that down and lookat the next three months, six
months in a year, and establishgoals and action plans around
(04:32):
that in order for you to achievethose short-term goals.
One key element of that thatcoaches provide is
accountability to that.
What are you doing?
What are you not doing?
Why are you doing it, or whyare you not doing it?
How's it going?
What are you doing?
What are you not doing?
Why are you doing it or why areyou not doing it?
How's it going?
What are the challenges?
What are the opportunities?
So forth and so on.
They also will work with you onspecific skills.
(04:55):
So say, there's communicationskills, or there's relationship
building skills, there'sconflict resolution issues that
you might be having oropportunities that you might
just need the skill to beenhanced.
Your coaches can help you withthat.
They can be very structured,following a prescribed
(05:16):
methodology that they use, orthey could be more tailored,
more custom, meeting you whereyou are at any given point in
time.
I happen to be that latter typewhere, based on where you are
and what you're working on rightnow and how it ties to your
short and long-term goals, ishow I will then provide
(05:36):
resources, support, guidance,coaching for you, depending upon
your style, will depend uponwhat you want and what you
should be looking for in a coachAgain, informal coach or a
formal professional coach.
The next one would be a mentorand the difference, because a
lot of people confuse coachesand mentors.
(05:57):
The difference between that andwhat mentors really focus on is
more so providing you guidanceand advice and support based on
their own experience.
Now, of course, coaches will dothat as well.
They'll use a lot of theirexperience as well, but they're
also using a lot of theireducation around coaching and
(06:18):
their you know, maybe theircredentials around coaching.
Mentors are primarily usingtheir own experience, their own
understanding, especiallydepending upon where they are in
the corporate ladder.
They are also leveraging andhelping you navigate the inner
workings of maybe it's your team, maybe it's a function, maybe
(06:41):
it's a department, maybe it's awhole business unit, but your
mentors are there to leveragetheir experience and their
expertise to guide you, help youwith decision making, navigate
challenges and work throughissues, both people and
processes and practices.
So those are where you wantmentors, especially within your
(07:06):
close sphere, that you can leanon on a day in, day out basis.
Now, that said, the structure ofa mentor relationship is ad hoc
.
It is as you need them.
It's not, unless you establishit, which it could be.
It's not structured like we'regoing to meet every week or
(07:28):
every couple of weeks.
Mentors are more based on whatyour needs are at any given
point in time.
It could also be where it's notas frequent as a coach
professional or informal butcould be once a quarter or it
could be every couple of months.
I would always recommend once aquarter.
Every six months is just waytoo long for you to build that
(07:51):
relationship with a mentor towhere you know they can then
turn into an advocate or asponsor, and the actual
engagement or the structure of amentoring relationship is one I
advocate that you, as thementoree, you take the
initiative to build thatrelationship, to seek their
(08:12):
mentoring, to then engage them,versus them coming to you Not to
say that they won't come to you.
But I always think that amentoree should really be doing
the heavy lifting, so to speak,because it's all about your
career and it's all about, maybe, the opportunities or the
challenges that you're having.
So be sure that when you go toinitiate a mentoring
(08:33):
relationship you're initiating,that You're not expecting
someone to tap you on theshoulder.
Now, some companies do havementoring programs and the other
thing I would suggest is, ifyour company has one.
You should be raising your handto either be the mentoree or
the mentor and, depending uponwhere you are in your career,
(08:56):
you should definitely bepositioning yourself as a mentor
, but you may also need to bethe mentoree, to have a mentor
to support your career goals.
So then there's advocate.
Advocates are those individualswithin your organization who
really know your work, know yourperformance, know your behavior
(09:16):
, know your leadership style,understand your accomplishments
and even the challenges thatyou've had your accomplishments
and even the challenges thatyou've had and they're able to
and choose to want to share thatwith others, especially others
making key decisions regardingopportunities and advancement
and overall positioning of anindividual within the company.
(09:40):
And so it's an informalstructure.
It's not as if you're going tobe meeting with them on a
schedule like you would with acoach or a mentor.
At the same time, it's acritical relationship in that
when you recognize that there issomeone who is an advocate of
you, or they've come to you andsay I love what you do and how
(10:03):
you perform and you're doing afabulous job and I really want
to support you and what are yourgoals, that kind of thing,
let's say it's the former,though they haven't come to you
but you recognize that someone'san advocate.
Well then you can certainlybuild that relationship to the
point where you share with themon a regular basis I'll call it
(10:23):
regular, but you share with themyour accomplishments, your
challenges.
You go seek them for eitherdecisions you're contemplating
you could be seeking some advicefor them and some mentoring,
but you are keeping theminformed as far as your own
accomplishment and your ownprogress within your role, and
(10:43):
then they are leveraging that tohelp get you progressed and
advanced within the organization.
So they're very important foryou to seek out.
Pay attention to thoseindividuals that compliment you
in front of other people, thatlook for opportunities for you
and suggest them or downrighttell you you should be going
after this opportunity.
(11:05):
Advocates are key.
So then there are sponsors verysimilar to advocates.
At the same time, these arereally influential people.
These are the top decisionmakers of a company that also
are in touch with and in tunewith your performance, your
contribution, the value youbring to the company, the
(11:27):
opportunities they see for you,and they are wanting to really
secure opportunities for you,get you advanced, get you that
next big project or that nextinitiative that will give you
the visibility and theopportunity and the stretching
of your goal that they want fromyou and need from you.
So sponsors are directlyinvested in your career because
(11:52):
they also see the value youbring to them.
So say, you are what I'll calla massive producer, a revenue
generator and just an overallhuge contributor and you are
helping that individual evengetting advanced.
Well, they have an investmentin you now and they want to see
(12:13):
you advance as well and you besuccessful as well and they'll
pull you along.
Okay, so those are sponsors.
Now, board of directors are acombination of all of these
individuals, but they're alsoindividuals that you
intentionally identify, that youwant to know are there for you
(12:36):
if you do have a decision tomake, a challenge to work
through, an opportunity toconsider or just overall, get
some advice and some guidancefrom them.
And they're both personal andprofessional individuals, so
they're not necessarily just thepeople in your organization.
They could be in your community, in your social circle, and you
(12:57):
just recognize that you reallytrust and respect and regard
this individual with high esteemand therefore, when something
does come up that you needsupport on, you can lean on them
.
And so intentionally, almostlike an org chart, is the way I
approached it almost 14 yearsago, when I left corporate and
(13:19):
started my own business, is Idefined an org chart of the type
of individuals that I wanted tobe part of my advisory board,
and that way I had individualsfrom all backgrounds, all
cultures, all demographics, alllevels of the hierarchy, all
(13:40):
corporate and entrepreneurial,even just family members.
Just because you want thatdifferent perspective, you want
that span of influence, allright.
So those are your coaches,mentors, advocates, sponsors and
board of directors.
Now let me walk you through,just so you're clear on it, some
(14:00):
examples of how you would usethem, each one of them beyond
what we've already talked about.
So a coach say you're strugglingas a leader.
Say you've been promoted, youwere an individual contributor
before, now you're managingpeople, but you've never managed
people before and you're justoverwhelmed.
You're.
(14:21):
You know.
They say, and I say people areyour number one asset.
You make the people happy,they'll be happy, you'll be
happy, everyone will be happy.
And yet you really aren'texperienced in that.
Or you're having challenges inbuilding a relationship,
building trust with team members.
So that's where you could go toa coach tell them your short
(14:43):
and long-term goals.
I wanna be a powerhouse leader,a people leader, and these are
the challenges I'm having.
These are opportunities I see,and then they can help guide and
coach you through that.
Coaches in the past have had.
Especially formal, professional, paid coaches have had a bad
(15:04):
rap in the past within companiesbecause the employees saw it as
well they must be a troubledchild if someone is getting them
a coach.
Well, that is no longer thecase.
It wasn't even the case then.
Coaches are viable, valuabletools to be using in your career
.
Whether you hire them yourselfor the company hires them for
(15:26):
you, they will help youaccomplish those short-term
goals which will lead to yourlong-term goals.
So those are coaches and that'san example of how to leverage a
coach.
To leverage a coach Now from amentoring perspective.
Say, you have challenges withsocialization, maybe even public
speaking, and you're just notpolished when it comes to
(15:47):
mingling and small talk, letalone getting up in front of
individuals, and therefore youwant to find someone in the
company that you really respectand see them being a very
polished speaker, being a verypolished socializer and
networker, and therefore youbuild a relationship with them
(16:09):
and over time you eventually youknow and you're asking them for
advice along the way, but it'snothing real formal.
But then eventually you say youknow what I would love for you
to mentor me.
I need to be able to, you know,hobnob with the upper
management, let alone my peersand team members, and you're so
good at it, you know, is there,you know, an opportunity for us
(16:33):
to, you know, support each otherand can you, you know, help me,
kind of come out of my shell,so to speak.
So that is an example of howyou could be leveraging a
manager.
Now an advocate is again.
You found this individual.
You know that they'readvocating for you, they're
sharing your accomplishments,they're really promoting you
(16:55):
within the company and you'rekeeping them up to date on your
accomplishments and the workthat you're doing, the
initiatives, the awards, thechallenges that you're having.
Therefore, they're going outand they're really kind of
highlighting those contributions, those accomplishments.
So you definitely want toleverage them to help you share
(17:18):
what you're doing in your role,help you share what you're doing
in your role, because so manyindividuals say I don't get
feedback, I don't know how otherpeople see me or feel about me.
Yet your advocate certainlydoes.
But you want to leverage themto be another voice, another
mouthpiece for you within thecompany.
Now, the sponsors are going tobe those individuals that if a
(17:40):
new project comes up, a newinitiative comes up, a new job
opening comes up, they are goingto be right there advocating
for you at the highest of levels.
And so the sponsor has a blendof advocacy, because that's what
they're doing.
They are pushing you for thatnext opportunity and getting
(18:04):
that visibility and thatpositioning for you, and so,
again, like an advocate, youreally want to keep them
informed.
You may not know who thesesponsors are Now, if you're good
and you are buildingrelationships and networking the
way you should be, you wouldknow that someone is an advocate
(18:24):
slash.
They are behind closed doors,sharing and really pushing and
helping you be tagged for thatnext opportunity.
So that's why you definitelywant to build that relationship
and keep them informed andupdated with all the good, bad
and the ugly and become a PRsource of yourself to other
(18:45):
people and they'll do the samething.
Okay, so that's your sponsor.
And for the board of advisors,it's really because it's a
combination of all of thempersonal and professional
relationships and connectionsthat you trust and know that
they'll keep your confidence.
And so those are just.
You have a situation good, bador ugly and you say, okay, wait,
(19:06):
this individual let's say it'sa family member I have a couple
of family members that I lean onwhen I'm dealing with both
business or personal stuff, andthey're not even in anywhere
near the same type of businessthat I do, but yet their
guidance and their advice overthe years just proves that I can
(19:26):
always lean on them.
And so use your board ofdirectors for critical decisions
that you have to make,opportunities that you're trying
to consider, challenges thatyou're having, so forth and so
on.
All right, so those are someexamples of how to leverage all
of these individuals.
All right, now that youunderstand the five different
(19:48):
types of individuals you shouldbe having in your board of
directors or your circle ofinfluence, and you now have some
examples of how you'd beleveraging them, let's talk
about 10 strategies you could betaking right now in order to
either bring on these types ofadvisors, guide, support systems
(20:11):
into your world or enhance therelationships you might have
already established.
All right, so first off is tojust identify and engage coaches
and mentors Like look aroundyou and, you know, find
individuals within your company,within your past, within your
(20:32):
social world that can be a coachor a mentor for you.
All right, mentors are.
I'll say this that I prefer youto find a mentor within your
organization because they'llknow specific challenges that
you're having.
You could have mentors outsideof that for sure, but certainly
look for a mentor within yourorganization, within your team
(20:57):
or function or business, but atleast under the umbrella.
That way they'll reallyunderstand the complexities of
whatever it is that you might bedealing with.
All right, but identify andengage a coach and a mentor.
And please look at the coachesas development and enhancement,
(21:18):
not, as you know, because you'restruggling, and enhancement not
, as you know, because you'restruggling.
It could just simply be becauseyou have big aspirations and
you want to ensure that you'reachieving them.
Number two would be definitelycultivate those advocates.
Make sure that you are payingattention, and this takes a
little bit of I'll call it ego,I guess, because a lot of
(21:44):
individuals that I work withthey dismiss.
When someone compliment them orwhen someone highlights them in
, you know, in front of otherpeople, they kind of dismiss it.
They actually oftentimes willapologize, you know, oh well, I
had a good day, type of thing.
Well, you need to pay attentionto that, because that
individual is most likely anadvocate and that's a
(22:08):
relationship you want to foster.
Okay, so, cultivate thoserelationships.
And the third one would be seekto secure those and on the back
of that would be the thirdstrategy would be make sure you
are securing those sponsors.
Again, you're paying attention,you build that relationship,
you share updates, you bring upopportunities that you see that
(22:33):
you want their support and helpwith, but you're really looking
to secure that you have asponsor, especially at the
highest level, because these arethe individuals that are at the
highest of levels, getting inrooms and having discussions
regarding the future of thecompany.
So you want to leverage thatand secure those sponsors.
(22:54):
The other one would be get yourboard of directors established,
identify, make a list or an orgchart, but make a list of
individuals that you reallytrust, that you really respect,
that you hold in high regard,that have the experience and the
skills and the accomplishments,personally or professionally,
(23:16):
that you're looking to achieve.
You always want to level up andestablish it.
You don't have to necessarilygo around and talk about it, you
just establish it for yourselfand when something comes up, you
can look at that list or lookat that structure and say, okay,
I want to go talk to,especially for different
perspectives you know Joe, samand Sally, so establish that.
(23:38):
And then, based on theserelationships, you're always
looking to seek feedback.
You want to ask them pointblank how am I doing?
Where should I be focused?
What should my priorities be?
What insights do you have?
Whatever the case might be, youwant to be not only giving them
(24:01):
updates, but you want to beasking them for updates on you.
Have you found an opportunityfor me?
Not that, but feedback on kindof how are you doing?
How are you?
You know, how are you showingup.
You know, when you're in certainenvironments, like I had
mentioned with the mentor andpublic speaking, you know
(24:22):
there's chances that if you'reall all of a sudden given
opportunities giving visibilityand you're in front of different
audiences that you're notaccustomed to, then you you're
going to want to ask for helpand support and advice on how
best to show up.
But at the same time, after youdo, you want to say, if they
(24:44):
were there, say they were in thesame room or on the same call,
you want to say, okay, what'syour feedback?
What did you take away fromthat?
Where can I improve, where wasI really strong, so forth, and
so on.
But feedback is absolutelycritical.
Be sure that you are seekingopportunities to then mentor
(25:05):
other people.
So you know, if you're even 30,you've been there, done that in
some respect.
So go and also seek for you tobe a mentor and mentor someone
else.
It is a great opportunity foryou to expand and grow and learn
about yourself.
Great opportunity for you toexpand and grow and learn about
(25:27):
yourself.
At the same time, it'sdefinitely some credence, some
credibility toward you as aleader, all right.
So go and seek mentoringopportunities.
And then you definitely have to,as I mentioned earlier, you
have to be your PR mouthpiece.
You have to showcase youraccomplishments.
No one else is going to do it.
Do you ever find team members,or even your boss at times,
(25:53):
really kind of evangelizing youand sharing your accomplishments
?
Because the advocates and thesponsors are a very, very, very
small pool of individuals.
I'm not even talking a handful,I'm talking like one person
maybe, maybe two and three ifyou're absolutely a rock star,
okay.
So you need to be sure thatother people know what you're
(26:17):
accomplishing, what you've done,what initiatives you're working
on.
You need to promote yourself,okay.
And then I get this challenge alot from individuals, but I
find that there's very ambitiousindividuals who struggle to
(26:40):
actually take initiative inseeking out opportunities for
themselves.
So you have to absolutely takeinitiative.
It's number eight is to takeinitiative.
If there is a problem that noone is working on to solve, take
the initiative to do it.
You might even just take theinitiative because maybe it's
(27:03):
not in your function and youmight be stepping on toes.
Take the initiative to point itout to someone so they can
solve it.
But at the same time, don'tunderestimate the ability for
you to be able to take on thatinitiative yourself.
If there's a new project,volunteer to be part of it, even
if it's in a space that you'renot familiar with.
The experience and theexpertise you can gain from it
(27:23):
iser to be part of it.
Even if it's in a space thatyou're not familiar with, the
experience and the expertise youcan gain from it is going to be
advantageous to you.
Take initiative to help someoneelse, to support your team
members, support your peers.
Take initiative.
It's unbelievable to me howoften I'll be coaching or even
(27:44):
just engaging with professionalsand all of a sudden, I'll hear
something that they will sayabout a project or an issue that
the business is having or achallenge that people are having
, and I'm like, ok, so what haveyou done about it?
And they're like it's not myproblem, not my initiative, it's
(28:08):
not my function.
So take initiative and then, ofcourse, build those
relationships.
Get out of your comfort zone,get out of your you know space
where you're just heads down andgo and build relationships
inside your team, inside yourfunction, inside your business,
(28:30):
but across as well.
I can't tell you how manypeople will tell me well, I just
make sure that I build therelationships with the people
that will help me accomplish mygoals, like accomplish my tasks
that I'm working on right now.
They're not thinking about thefuture.
They're not thinking about, youknow, that career path that
(28:52):
they may have defined forthemselves and a lot of cases
they haven't defined it andthat's one reason why they're
not building their relationships.
I was even told flat out well,I don't, you know, I don't build
relationships with them becausethey don't help me today, well,
that'll hurt you possibly inthe future.
(29:13):
So be sure you're buildingthose relationships.
And number 10 is everythingshould be a win-win when you
have relationships.
It's not a me only, all right.
So relationships means it's agive and take.
I'll help you, you'll help me.
Serve others to serve you.
It's a win-win.
(29:34):
So ensure that you're alsoproviding them value.
How can I help you?
What do you need?
You know what can I contributeto you, know your goals and what
it is that you're trying toachieve.
And then, at the same time, notonly that, but especially
mentors, advocates and sponsorsthey are expecting a great deal
(29:59):
from you and they should, so doyou know?
Go over and beyond.
As my dad always says, leavepeople in places better than you
found them.
Focus on, you know, overdelivering, not just
accomplishing, but overdelivering, over serving.
(30:19):
Just quality support, qualityperformance, quality leadership,
quality accomplishments, butdeliver value.
So then, when especially youradvocates and sponsors stand up
and say, you know, joe isperfect for this opportunity,
(30:40):
you don't have someone else inthe room going.
Well, you know, I'm glad youthink so, but I don't.
And they spew out some examplesof that.
Okay, so be sure that you'regiving an ROI to everyone
involved in that board ofdirectors, in your circle of
(31:01):
influence, and having theserelationships are absolutely
critical to your career todayand in the future.
It doesn't matter if you're 30or you're 65 and you're still
working.
You still want to beaccomplishing and advancing.
Build these relationships andyou'll find yourself
(31:22):
skyrocketing in your career.
All right, I am so happy thatyou are with us.
Thank you so much for beinghere and allowing me to share
with you the importance and thecareer catalyst that is your
coaches, mentors, advocates andsponsors, and even your personal
board of directors.
And just keep shedding thosefears, insecurities, doubts and
(31:44):
negativities what we callbitches here, so you can be
creating the riches in yourcareer and life you deserve and
be the powerhouse leader thatyou are meant to be.
Until next time, take care.
Have you considered who you need to have as part of
your circle of influence fromthe beginning to the end of your
career and who have you engagedthus far as part of your own
career and personal board ofdirectors?
That's right board of directors, being that relationships are
absolutely critical to one'soverall career and life success.
(00:28):
We need to talk about theintentional focus and thought
process you're putting in toformulating a board of advisors
and guides who can accelerateyour career success and help you
avoid major pitfalls whileelevating your leadership style.
So we're going to discuss thevarious types of advisors and
(00:50):
guides who you should make partof that circle of influence and
some examples of how you couldbe leveraging each one of those
types of individuals.
Lastly, I'm going to give you10 strategies of how you can be
leveraging these individualsright now and as you move
forward in your career andactually and in your life.
So stay with us.
(01:12):
Welcome, welcome, welcome toShedding the Corporate Bitch,
the podcast that transformscorporate executives into
powerhouse leaders by showingthem how to shed the challenges
and overwhelm, along with anyfear, insecurity, self-doubt and
negativity holding them back.
I'm your host, bernadette Bowes, of Ball of Fire Coaching,
bringing you powerhousediscussions each week to share
(01:36):
tips, advice and sometimes toughlove so you create the riches
in your work and life youdeserve.
Let's do this.
Create the riches in your workand life you deserve.
Let's do this.
Who are your coaches, mentors,advocates or sponsors?
Do you have them?
If not, then you're in theperfect place, because that's
what we're going to discusstoday and it's a subject I
(01:56):
absolutely love because it's asubject that is critical to not
only your overall career pathbut your success, and I spend a
good amount of time working onthis subject of coaches, mentors
, sponsors and advocates with myclients.
Whether it's a career decisionthat you're making, whether it's
(02:17):
a job opportunity or aadvancement opportunity, whether
it's a challenge that you'rehaving in the workplace, you
want to be able to have, kind ofyour tribe, your circle of
individuals that can really helpguide and support you through
those things.
And that's why, whether it's atbeginning of the year
(02:40):
performance reviews, when we'retalking about goals or we're
establishing goal, or it'smid-year, or it is when we're
sitting down and assessing wheresomeone is from a milestone
achievement, this subject comesup simply because, if you have
any ambition at all, whether youare a new manager or you're a
(03:05):
seasoned manager.
You want to ensure that youhave these individuals in
hands-distance view in order foryou to leverage their expertise
, their experience, theirsupport, their advocacy.
So it is vital that you engagethem, build relationships with
(03:27):
them, learn and grow from themand lean on them for whatever it
is that you might need, andwe're going to talk about that,
we're going to talk about thedifferent types, we're going to
talk about examples, and thenI'm going to give you 10
strategies for actually goingabout building these type of
relationships.
All right, so let's first getinto the different types, and I
(03:48):
mentioned.
There's coaches, mentors,advocates and sponsors.
There's also what I call yourcareer or personal board of
directors.
So let's look at coaches Now.
Coaches can be professionalcoaches, like myself, or they
could be someone within yourcompany in a prior company.
Whatever the case might be,these individuals are really
(04:10):
focused on your performance,short-term goals as well as
long-term, but their focus isgoing to be short-term.
Their focus is going to be okay.
So in three to five years, youwant to get to X, but yet we
want to break that down and lookat the next three months, six
months in a year, and establishgoals and action plans around
(04:32):
that in order for you to achievethose short-term goals.
One key element of that thatcoaches provide is
accountability to that.
What are you doing?
What are you not doing?
Why are you doing it, or whyare you not doing it?
How's it going?
What are you doing?
What are you not doing?
Why are you doing it or why areyou not doing it?
How's it going?
What are the challenges?
What are the opportunities?
So forth and so on.
They also will work with you onspecific skills.
(04:55):
So say, there's communicationskills, or there's relationship
building skills, there'sconflict resolution issues that
you might be having oropportunities that you might
just need the skill to beenhanced.
Your coaches can help you withthat.
They can be very structured,following a prescribed
(05:16):
methodology that they use, orthey could be more tailored,
more custom, meeting you whereyou are at any given point in
time.
I happen to be that latter typewhere, based on where you are
and what you're working on rightnow and how it ties to your
short and long-term goals, ishow I will then provide
(05:36):
resources, support, guidance,coaching for you, depending upon
your style, will depend uponwhat you want and what you
should be looking for in a coachAgain, informal coach or a
formal professional coach.
The next one would be a mentorand the difference, because a
lot of people confuse coachesand mentors.
(05:57):
The difference between that andwhat mentors really focus on is
more so providing you guidanceand advice and support based on
their own experience.
Now, of course, coaches will dothat as well.
They'll use a lot of theirexperience as well, but they're
also using a lot of theireducation around coaching and
(06:18):
their you know, maybe theircredentials around coaching.
Mentors are primarily usingtheir own experience, their own
understanding, especiallydepending upon where they are in
the corporate ladder.
They are also leveraging andhelping you navigate the inner
workings of maybe it's your team, maybe it's a function, maybe
(06:41):
it's a department, maybe it's awhole business unit, but your
mentors are there to leveragetheir experience and their
expertise to guide you, help youwith decision making, navigate
challenges and work throughissues, both people and
processes and practices.
So those are where you wantmentors, especially within your
(07:06):
close sphere, that you can leanon on a day in, day out basis.
Now, that said, the structure ofa mentor relationship is ad hoc
.
It is as you need them.
It's not, unless you establishit, which it could be.
It's not structured like we'regoing to meet every week or
(07:28):
every couple of weeks.
Mentors are more based on whatyour needs are at any given
point in time.
It could also be where it's notas frequent as a coach
professional or informal butcould be once a quarter or it
could be every couple of months.
I would always recommend once aquarter.
Every six months is just waytoo long for you to build that
(07:51):
relationship with a mentor towhere you know they can then
turn into an advocate or asponsor, and the actual
engagement or the structure of amentoring relationship is one I
advocate that you, as thementoree, you take the
initiative to build thatrelationship, to seek their
(08:12):
mentoring, to then engage them,versus them coming to you Not to
say that they won't come to you.
But I always think that amentoree should really be doing
the heavy lifting, so to speak,because it's all about your
career and it's all about, maybe, the opportunities or the
challenges that you're having.
So be sure that when you go toinitiate a mentoring
(08:33):
relationship you're initiating,that You're not expecting
someone to tap you on theshoulder.
Now, some companies do havementoring programs and the other
thing I would suggest is, ifyour company has one.
You should be raising your handto either be the mentoree or
the mentor and, depending uponwhere you are in your career,
(08:56):
you should definitely bepositioning yourself as a mentor
, but you may also need to bethe mentoree, to have a mentor
to support your career goals.
So then there's advocate.
Advocates are those individualswithin your organization who
really know your work, know yourperformance, know your behavior
(09:16):
, know your leadership style,understand your accomplishments
and even the challenges thatyou've had your accomplishments
and even the challenges thatyou've had and they're able to
and choose to want to share thatwith others, especially others
making key decisions regardingopportunities and advancement
and overall positioning of anindividual within the company.
(09:40):
And so it's an informalstructure.
It's not as if you're going tobe meeting with them on a
schedule like you would with acoach or a mentor.
At the same time, it's acritical relationship in that
when you recognize that there issomeone who is an advocate of
you, or they've come to you andsay I love what you do and how
(10:03):
you perform and you're doing afabulous job and I really want
to support you and what are yourgoals, that kind of thing,
let's say it's the former,though they haven't come to you
but you recognize that someone'san advocate.
Well then you can certainlybuild that relationship to the
point where you share with themon a regular basis I'll call it
(10:23):
regular, but you share with themyour accomplishments, your
challenges.
You go seek them for eitherdecisions you're contemplating
you could be seeking some advicefor them and some mentoring,
but you are keeping theminformed as far as your own
accomplishment and your ownprogress within your role, and
(10:43):
then they are leveraging that tohelp get you progressed and
advanced within the organization.
So they're very important foryou to seek out.
Pay attention to thoseindividuals that compliment you
in front of other people, thatlook for opportunities for you
and suggest them or downrighttell you you should be going
after this opportunity.
(11:05):
Advocates are key.
So then there are sponsors verysimilar to advocates.
At the same time, these arereally influential people.
These are the top decisionmakers of a company that also
are in touch with and in tunewith your performance, your
contribution, the value youbring to the company, the
(11:27):
opportunities they see for you,and they are wanting to really
secure opportunities for you,get you advanced, get you that
next big project or that nextinitiative that will give you
the visibility and theopportunity and the stretching
of your goal that they want fromyou and need from you.
So sponsors are directlyinvested in your career because
(11:52):
they also see the value youbring to them.
So say, you are what I'll calla massive producer, a revenue
generator and just an overallhuge contributor and you are
helping that individual evengetting advanced.
Well, they have an investmentin you now and they want to see
(12:13):
you advance as well and you besuccessful as well and they'll
pull you along.
Okay, so those are sponsors.
Now, board of directors are acombination of all of these
individuals, but they're alsoindividuals that you
intentionally identify, that youwant to know are there for you
(12:36):
if you do have a decision tomake, a challenge to work
through, an opportunity toconsider or just overall, get
some advice and some guidancefrom them.
And they're both personal andprofessional individuals, so
they're not necessarily just thepeople in your organization.
They could be in your community, in your social circle, and you
(12:57):
just recognize that you reallytrust and respect and regard
this individual with high esteemand therefore, when something
does come up that you needsupport on, you can lean on them
.
And so intentionally, almostlike an org chart, is the way I
approached it almost 14 yearsago, when I left corporate and
(13:19):
started my own business, is Idefined an org chart of the type
of individuals that I wanted tobe part of my advisory board,
and that way I had individualsfrom all backgrounds, all
cultures, all demographics, alllevels of the hierarchy, all
(13:40):
corporate and entrepreneurial,even just family members.
Just because you want thatdifferent perspective, you want
that span of influence, allright.
So those are your coaches,mentors, advocates, sponsors and
board of directors.
Now let me walk you through,just so you're clear on it, some
(14:00):
examples of how you would usethem, each one of them beyond
what we've already talked about.
So a coach say you're strugglingas a leader.
Say you've been promoted, youwere an individual contributor
before, now you're managingpeople, but you've never managed
people before and you're justoverwhelmed.
You're.
(14:21):
You know.
They say, and I say people areyour number one asset.
You make the people happy,they'll be happy, you'll be
happy, everyone will be happy.
And yet you really aren'texperienced in that.
Or you're having challenges inbuilding a relationship,
building trust with team members.
So that's where you could go toa coach tell them your short
(14:43):
and long-term goals.
I wanna be a powerhouse leader,a people leader, and these are
the challenges I'm having.
These are opportunities I see,and then they can help guide and
coach you through that.
Coaches in the past have had.
Especially formal, professional, paid coaches have had a bad
(15:04):
rap in the past within companiesbecause the employees saw it as
well they must be a troubledchild if someone is getting them
a coach.
Well, that is no longer thecase.
It wasn't even the case then.
Coaches are viable, valuabletools to be using in your career
.
Whether you hire them yourselfor the company hires them for
(15:26):
you, they will help youaccomplish those short-term
goals which will lead to yourlong-term goals.
So those are coaches and that'san example of how to leverage a
coach.
To leverage a coach Now from amentoring perspective.
Say, you have challenges withsocialization, maybe even public
speaking, and you're just notpolished when it comes to
(15:47):
mingling and small talk, letalone getting up in front of
individuals, and therefore youwant to find someone in the
company that you really respectand see them being a very
polished speaker, being a verypolished socializer and
networker, and therefore youbuild a relationship with them
(16:09):
and over time you eventually youknow and you're asking them for
advice along the way, but it'snothing real formal.
But then eventually you say youknow what I would love for you
to mentor me.
I need to be able to, you know,hobnob with the upper
management, let alone my peersand team members, and you're so
good at it, you know, is there,you know, an opportunity for us
(16:33):
to, you know, support each otherand can you, you know, help me,
kind of come out of my shell,so to speak.
So that is an example of howyou could be leveraging a
manager.
Now an advocate is again.
You found this individual.
You know that they'readvocating for you, they're
sharing your accomplishments,they're really promoting you
(16:55):
within the company and you'rekeeping them up to date on your
accomplishments and the workthat you're doing, the
initiatives, the awards, thechallenges that you're having.
Therefore, they're going outand they're really kind of
highlighting those contributions, those accomplishments.
So you definitely want toleverage them to help you share
(17:18):
what you're doing in your role,help you share what you're doing
in your role, because so manyindividuals say I don't get
feedback, I don't know how otherpeople see me or feel about me.
Yet your advocate certainlydoes.
But you want to leverage themto be another voice, another
mouthpiece for you within thecompany.
Now, the sponsors are going tobe those individuals that if a
(17:40):
new project comes up, a newinitiative comes up, a new job
opening comes up, they are goingto be right there advocating
for you at the highest of levels.
And so the sponsor has a blendof advocacy, because that's what
they're doing.
They are pushing you for thatnext opportunity and getting
(18:04):
that visibility and thatpositioning for you, and so,
again, like an advocate, youreally want to keep them
informed.
You may not know who thesesponsors are Now, if you're good
and you are buildingrelationships and networking the
way you should be, you wouldknow that someone is an advocate
(18:24):
slash.
They are behind closed doors,sharing and really pushing and
helping you be tagged for thatnext opportunity.
So that's why you definitelywant to build that relationship
and keep them informed andupdated with all the good, bad
and the ugly and become a PRsource of yourself to other
(18:45):
people and they'll do the samething.
Okay, so that's your sponsor.
And for the board of advisors,it's really because it's a
combination of all of thempersonal and professional
relationships and connectionsthat you trust and know that
they'll keep your confidence.
And so those are just.
You have a situation good, bador ugly and you say, okay, wait,
(19:06):
this individual let's say it'sa family member I have a couple
of family members that I lean onwhen I'm dealing with both
business or personal stuff, andthey're not even in anywhere
near the same type of businessthat I do, but yet their
guidance and their advice overthe years just proves that I can
(19:26):
always lean on them.
And so use your board ofdirectors for critical decisions
that you have to make,opportunities that you're trying
to consider, challenges thatyou're having, so forth and so
on.
All right, so those are someexamples of how to leverage all
of these individuals.
All right, now that youunderstand the five different
(19:48):
types of individuals you shouldbe having in your board of
directors or your circle ofinfluence, and you now have some
examples of how you'd beleveraging them, let's talk
about 10 strategies you could betaking right now in order to
either bring on these types ofadvisors, guide, support systems
(20:11):
into your world or enhance therelationships you might have
already established.
All right, so first off is tojust identify and engage coaches
and mentors Like look aroundyou and, you know, find
individuals within your company,within your past, within your
(20:32):
social world that can be a coachor a mentor for you.
All right, mentors are.
I'll say this that I prefer youto find a mentor within your
organization because they'llknow specific challenges that
you're having.
You could have mentors outsideof that for sure, but certainly
look for a mentor within yourorganization, within your team
(20:57):
or function or business, but atleast under the umbrella.
That way they'll reallyunderstand the complexities of
whatever it is that you might bedealing with.
All right, but identify andengage a coach and a mentor.
And please look at the coachesas development and enhancement,
(21:18):
not, as you know, because you'restruggling, and enhancement not
, as you know, because you'restruggling.
It could just simply be becauseyou have big aspirations and
you want to ensure that you'reachieving them.
Number two would be definitelycultivate those advocates.
Make sure that you are payingattention, and this takes a
little bit of I'll call it ego,I guess, because a lot of
(21:44):
individuals that I work withthey dismiss.
When someone compliment them orwhen someone highlights them in
, you know, in front of otherpeople, they kind of dismiss it.
They actually oftentimes willapologize, you know, oh well, I
had a good day, type of thing.
Well, you need to pay attentionto that, because that
individual is most likely anadvocate and that's a
(22:08):
relationship you want to foster.
Okay, so, cultivate thoserelationships.
And the third one would be seekto secure those and on the back
of that would be the thirdstrategy would be make sure you
are securing those sponsors.
Again, you're paying attention,you build that relationship,
you share updates, you bring upopportunities that you see that
(22:33):
you want their support and helpwith, but you're really looking
to secure that you have asponsor, especially at the
highest level, because these arethe individuals that are at the
highest of levels, getting inrooms and having discussions
regarding the future of thecompany.
So you want to leverage thatand secure those sponsors.
(22:54):
The other one would be get yourboard of directors established,
identify, make a list or an orgchart, but make a list of
individuals that you reallytrust, that you really respect,
that you hold in high regard,that have the experience and the
skills and the accomplishments,personally or professionally,
(23:16):
that you're looking to achieve.
You always want to level up andestablish it.
You don't have to necessarilygo around and talk about it, you
just establish it for yourselfand when something comes up, you
can look at that list or lookat that structure and say, okay,
I want to go talk to,especially for different
perspectives you know Joe, samand Sally, so establish that.
(23:38):
And then, based on theserelationships, you're always
looking to seek feedback.
You want to ask them pointblank how am I doing?
Where should I be focused?
What should my priorities be?
What insights do you have?
Whatever the case might be, youwant to be not only giving them
(24:01):
updates, but you want to beasking them for updates on you.
Have you found an opportunityfor me?
Not that, but feedback on kindof how are you doing?
How are you?
You know, how are you showingup.
You know, when you're in certainenvironments, like I had
mentioned with the mentor andpublic speaking, you know
(24:22):
there's chances that if you'reall all of a sudden given
opportunities giving visibilityand you're in front of different
audiences that you're notaccustomed to, then you you're
going to want to ask for helpand support and advice on how
best to show up.
But at the same time, after youdo, you want to say, if they
(24:44):
were there, say they were in thesame room or on the same call,
you want to say, okay, what'syour feedback?
What did you take away fromthat?
Where can I improve, where wasI really strong, so forth, and
so on.
But feedback is absolutelycritical.
Be sure that you are seekingopportunities to then mentor
(25:05):
other people.
So you know, if you're even 30,you've been there, done that in
some respect.
So go and also seek for you tobe a mentor and mentor someone
else.
It is a great opportunity foryou to expand and grow and learn
about yourself.
Great opportunity for you toexpand and grow and learn about
(25:27):
yourself.
At the same time, it'sdefinitely some credence, some
credibility toward you as aleader, all right.
So go and seek mentoringopportunities.
And then you definitely have to,as I mentioned earlier, you
have to be your PR mouthpiece.
You have to showcase youraccomplishments.
No one else is going to do it.
Do you ever find team members,or even your boss at times,
(25:53):
really kind of evangelizing youand sharing your accomplishments
?
Because the advocates and thesponsors are a very, very, very
small pool of individuals.
I'm not even talking a handful,I'm talking like one person
maybe, maybe two and three ifyou're absolutely a rock star,
okay.
So you need to be sure thatother people know what you're
(26:17):
accomplishing, what you've done,what initiatives you're working
on.
You need to promote yourself,okay.
And then I get this challenge alot from individuals, but I
find that there's very ambitiousindividuals who struggle to
(26:40):
actually take initiative inseeking out opportunities for
themselves.
So you have to absolutely takeinitiative.
It's number eight is to takeinitiative.
If there is a problem that noone is working on to solve, take
the initiative to do it.
You might even just take theinitiative because maybe it's
(27:03):
not in your function and youmight be stepping on toes.
Take the initiative to point itout to someone so they can
solve it.
But at the same time, don'tunderestimate the ability for
you to be able to take on thatinitiative yourself.
If there's a new project,volunteer to be part of it, even
if it's in a space that you'renot familiar with.
The experience and theexpertise you can gain from it
(27:23):
iser to be part of it.
Even if it's in a space thatyou're not familiar with, the
experience and the expertise youcan gain from it is going to be
advantageous to you.
Take initiative to help someoneelse, to support your team
members, support your peers.
Take initiative.
It's unbelievable to me howoften I'll be coaching or even
(27:44):
just engaging with professionalsand all of a sudden, I'll hear
something that they will sayabout a project or an issue that
the business is having or achallenge that people are having
, and I'm like, ok, so what haveyou done about it?
And they're like it's not myproblem, not my initiative, it's
(28:08):
not my function.
So take initiative and then, ofcourse, build those
relationships.
Get out of your comfort zone,get out of your you know space
where you're just heads down andgo and build relationships
inside your team, inside yourfunction, inside your business,
(28:30):
but across as well.
I can't tell you how manypeople will tell me well, I just
make sure that I build therelationships with the people
that will help me accomplish mygoals, like accomplish my tasks
that I'm working on right now.
They're not thinking about thefuture.
They're not thinking about, youknow, that career path that
(28:52):
they may have defined forthemselves and a lot of cases
they haven't defined it andthat's one reason why they're
not building their relationships.
I was even told flat out well,I don't, you know, I don't build
relationships with them becausethey don't help me today, well,
that'll hurt you possibly inthe future.
(29:13):
So be sure you're buildingthose relationships.
And number 10 is everythingshould be a win-win when you
have relationships.
It's not a me only, all right.
So relationships means it's agive and take.
I'll help you, you'll help me.
Serve others to serve you.
It's a win-win.
(29:34):
So ensure that you're alsoproviding them value.
How can I help you?
What do you need?
You know what can I contributeto you, know your goals and what
it is that you're trying toachieve.
And then, at the same time, notonly that, but especially
mentors, advocates and sponsorsthey are expecting a great deal
(29:59):
from you and they should, so doyou know?
Go over and beyond.
As my dad always says, leavepeople in places better than you
found them.
Focus on, you know, overdelivering, not just
accomplishing, but overdelivering, over serving.
(30:19):
Just quality support, qualityperformance, quality leadership,
quality accomplishments, butdeliver value.
So then, when especially youradvocates and sponsors stand up
and say, you know, joe isperfect for this opportunity,
(30:40):
you don't have someone else inthe room going.
Well, you know, I'm glad youthink so, but I don't.
And they spew out some examplesof that.
Okay, so be sure that you'regiving an ROI to everyone
involved in that board ofdirectors, in your circle of
(31:01):
influence, and having theserelationships are absolutely
critical to your career todayand in the future.
It doesn't matter if you're 30or you're 65 and you're still
working.
You still want to beaccomplishing and advancing.
Build these relationships andyou'll find yourself
(31:22):
skyrocketing in your career.
All right, I am so happy thatyou are with us.
Thank you so much for beinghere and allowing me to share
with you the importance and thecareer catalyst that is your
coaches, mentors, advocates andsponsors, and even your personal
board of directors.
And just keep shedding thosefears, insecurities, doubts and
(31:44):
negativities what we callbitches here, so you can be
creating the riches in yourcareer and life you deserve and
be the powerhouse leader thatyou are meant to be.
Until next time, take care.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com