June 10, 2025 • 38 mins
Are you navigating a major life or career shift—and silently struggling to keep it all together?
This powerful episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch with executive coach Bernadette Boas features Wendy Alexander, founder of Happy Career Hub, career coach, and author of Internal Uprising. Wendy shares her raw, real story of overcoming single motherhood, burnout, and the unspoken corporate impact of menopause—and how she reclaimed her power every step of the way.
Together, they break down:
- What it means to truly reclaim your power (and how to do it)
- How to renegotiate your career on your terms—without apology
- Why journaling, reflection, and owning your story are game-changers
- How HR leaders can better support midlife women in the workplace
- The bold career move that changed everything for Wendy
Whether you're a corporate executive, team leader, or HR decision-maker—this episode offers real talk, tactical takeaways, and inspiration to lead with courage, clarity, and confidence.
✨ Your career doesn’t end at change—it begins there.
🎧 Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and wherever you get your shows.
📘 Learn more about Wendy and grab her book Internal Uprising at https://happycareerhub.com
🔖 Timestamps Highlights:
0:00 – Introduction to the episode
3:00 – Wendy’s journey from corporate burnout to career coach
10:00 – How she negotiated flexible work while raising a child
16:00 – The journaling question that changed everything
24:00 – The unspoken corporate impact of menopause
31:00 – Strategies for women to ask for support and advocate at work
35:00 – What HR leaders must understand to retain midlife talent
38:00 – Final takeaway: Power comes from within
🔗 Follow & Connect:
📲 Follow Wendy on LinkedIn: Wendy A Alexander
📲 Follow Bernadette on LinkedIn: Bernadette Boas
🌐 Visit: https://balloffirecoaching.com/podcast
🎯 Perfect For:
Corporate professionals, mid-career professionals, executives, HR leaders, DEI champions, wellness coordinators, and anyone navigating change while trying to lead with impact.
#SheddingTheCorporateBitch, #ReclaimYourPower, #WendyAlexander, #BernadetteBoas, #CareerReinvention, #WomenInLeadership, #ExecutiveWomen, #MidlifeCareerChange, #CorporateWellness, #HRLeadership, #BoldCareerMoves, #InternalUprising, #CareerCoach, #AuthenticLeadership, #LeadershipMindset, #PodcastForProfessionals
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Let me ask you are you going through a major change
in your personal life that isimpacting your career and you
haven't found a way out?
If so, today's episode isperfect.
We're diving into how toreclaim your power through
critical change.
Midlife professionals facemassive shifts navigating
(00:22):
reinvention, prioritizingwell-being, while leading and
challenging.
Yeah, that's not right.
Let me ask you are you goingthrough some major change in
your personal life that isnegatively impacting your career
and you haven't found a way out?
If so, today's episode isperfect for you.
(00:43):
We're diving into how toreclaim your power through
critical change.
Midlife professionals facemassive shifts navigating
reinvention, prioritizingwell-being, while leading and
challenging societalexpectations.
But here's the truth Changeisn't the end.
It's your opportunity forCareer 2.0.
(01:06):
Our guest, wendy Alexander ofHappy Career Hub, is a
powerhouse interview and careercoach, helping women break free
from the typical good, securejob trap to build the careers
they truly want.
She'll share practicalstrategies to reinvent your
career, actionable steps totransition with confidence and
(01:28):
how to navigate challenges headon.
So, as you listen, I want youto consider this question what's
one change you've been avoidingto make that could lead you out
of the darkness and into thebrilliant light of your career
and life Let and every episode.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
With more than 25 years in corporate trenches,
(02:09):
bernadette's own journey frombeing dismissed as a tyrant boss
to becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Wendy, how are you Welcome?
I absolutely love thisconversation about reclaiming
your power, especially for womengoing through the transition
that's impacting their successin the workplace, or at least
what they're perceiving as thembeing able to adjust and
(02:53):
transition into that new phase.
But before we do, I'd love ouraudience to get to know Wendy,
so could you tell us a littlebit about yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Well, I'm at the stage of life where I call
myself a menopause thriver.
But that wasn't the case when Istarted out.
It actually slammed me becauseI entered that phase at age 45,
which was a lot earlier than Iexpected.
So in my mind it was supposedto happen in my fifties.
(03:24):
It came early and it slammed me, knocked me for a six and
changed my life in many ways.
I was in a high poweredexecutive career at the time and
the brain fog, the insomnia,the hot flashes, all of it came
like a tidal wave over me and Icouldn't really cope.
(03:45):
It put me under incrediblestress, and I was already in a
highly stressful job, becausewhen you're at that level of
corporate and you're having tomake all these big decisions,
run these multi-million dollarprojects, you're under a bit of
stress.
I don't think you can get awayfrom that when you are working
at that pace.
And so in the end I had tore-evaluate my life and I had to
(04:10):
, I suppose, ditch my corporatebitches.
I had to ditch that, thosefears, those anxieties, and
really evaluate the directionthat I wanted to go.
But I already had the side gigbusiness of helping people in
(04:32):
their careers, because I hadtransformed my career from, you
know, hitting rock bottom,losing a relationship, being
pregnant with a baby andentering single motherhood 23
years earlier.
And I transformed my own careerthrough a lot of research,
writing and rewriting my CV,working with recruiters and
(04:53):
hiring people, and then landedin the roles that took me on a
very fast trajectory towardssuccess.
The people who knew my storyfriends, family, colleagues came
for help and that's how my sidebusiness was born.
But I was in full-time incorporate and part-time coaching
(05:14):
people, especially helping themwrite their resumes and their
LinkedIn profiles and thingslike that.
And so when menopause slammedme, I already had something that
was very much a side gig, but Ileft corporate and turned that
into the full time what I do now.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I work in the career coaching space want to kind of
paint the picture of how you didreclaim your power, especially,
as you said, 23 years earlier.
You found yourself goingthrough a change, having a child
(05:51):
, so forth and so on.
What was all those externalfactors doing to you inside your
career and how were theyplaying out as far as how you
felt toward being able to climbthe corporate ladder and be
(06:12):
successful?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
So when my relationship ended, it was a
pretty acrimonious ending and hepretty much walked away from
everything.
The house sold and it sold at aloss and there was a huge debt
hanging over me about $50,000 ofdebt.
I was four months pregnant whenthat happened.
Of course, I went through allthe anxiety and the fear and the
(06:38):
panic and the how did thishappen to me?
I considered myself areasonably intelligent woman, so
I was flummo intelligent woman,so I was flummoxed at how I'd
created that situation in mylife.
I'd say one of the first stepsI did do was I sought help
emotionally.
So I went to a psychologistbecause I was like I need to
(06:59):
figure out what just happenedhere.
How did my life hit this rockbottom?
And also, being pregnant, I wasvery determined to clear up
that emotional mess because Ididn't want to bring that to my
child.
There was that factor drivingit.
But then, when I looked at thereality as well, there was this
(07:21):
debt over my head.
My income was about to stopbecause I was going to go on
maternity leave in, like youknow, four or five months, and
so the panic set in and I wasgoing through a rollercoaster of
emotions, and I will say that Icall it doona diving.
I doona dived, you know where Iwas hiding away from the world
(07:41):
for a while, didn't want to know, didn't want to face the
reality.
But eventually I had to emergefrom that doona because reality
was income was going to stop,there's a baby on the way.
I need to sort my life out, andso one of the first places I
started was an opportunity came.
I had had the baby, so myparents I actually moved back
(08:02):
home with the parents and theysupported me through the birth
of my child.
And then I got a phone callfrom one of my ex-bosses and he
said I need someone to come backand help me with this project
that's in trouble.
And he said I was told so thiswas a new boss.
Oh, he was told by my ex-bossthat I was the person Getting in
(08:23):
touch with Wendy, said she's onmaternity leave, and so I saw
that as an opportunity.
He rang me, wanted me to comeback early, and I said I'll come
back early if I can have theseconditions.
And my conditions were I'mgoing to work from home most of
the time because I have adaughter, a young daughter, an
(08:44):
infant.
I'm going to work from homemost of the time because I have
a daughter, a young daughter, aninfant, and I'll come in one
day a week and have all mymeetings on that day and then
I'll do the rest of the workfrom home, and he actually
agreed to that.
So here was one of the firstthings I learned about claiming
power was to ask for what youneed, to ask for the support you
need.
Awesome Because a lot of peoplethe support you need.
(09:05):
Awesome Because a lot of peopledon't do that Right.
People often think you knowthey get in situations and they
think that they can't ask forhelp.
Right, or they don't ask forhelp.
There's a lot of cases wherepeople are too filled with pride
or they're sometimes tooashamed of the fact Now, I was
all of those things pride.
Or they're sometimes tooashamed of the fact that I was
(09:26):
all of those things.
I was ashamed, I wasembarrassed that I had allowed
my life to get so messy, but Icouldn't wallow in that.
You know, at some point I hadto step out.
So the help that I got from anemotional space was from my
parents and they were amazingand my siblings, and then the
help I got from, you know, mycareer space was actually asking
(09:47):
for it.
I said this is my situation,yeah, and I'm not ready to leave
my child all day, every day.
Yeah, I want to be a presentmother.
And so I ended up negotiatingthis arrangement with my boss
and started back in corporate.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Now, oh, I'm sorry, but some people might say, well,
you know, obviously you know healready kind of befriended you
and you know you had thatrelationship with him and that's
why it was okay for you to ask.
But what you're also stating is, regardless of that, know what
you want, believe in the factthat you should be able to ask
(10:30):
for it and then go and ask forit.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Correct, yes correct Because look, in other
circumstances later on, when Iwas going into new roles so this
was with people that didn'tknow me I kept up that ability
to ask and always in myinterview I would say to them
you know, I'm interviewing youas much as you're interviewing
me, and I need to know that thisis going to be a mutually
(10:56):
beneficial arrangement, workingarrangement.
And I even, you know, say,three years later, when I
changed companies, the firstthing when they asked me, do you
have anything?
At the end of the interview, doyou have anything to say or ask
, I said this is mycircumstances and I would like
to work a couple of days fromhome.
I don't want my daughter indaycare every day.
(11:17):
I'm happy to put her in some ofthe days, but not and there was
never an interview that I didafter that where I didn't ask
for that Perfect.
Also, you know bold enough tostate to them that I was
interviewing them Right, Becausethey were interviewing me and
that the arrangement had to workfor both of us.
Sure, One of the things I'veseen and learned in the
(11:39):
corporate world is that if thearrangement doesn't work for
both parties, then therelationship is untenable.
After a while Someone becomesresentful.
Someone becomes unproductiveright.
And when you're negotiating inthe career space, it's always
good to define what you needbeforehand and then, when you
(12:03):
get your opportunity becausethey always do give you the
opportunity I've never seen manyinterviews where they don't ask
the candidate what do you haveany questions for us or anything
we need to know about you?
That's your opportunity tonegotiate.
Absolutely, this is what I want, this is what I need.
And then, obviously, the otherside of that is you need to
(12:23):
perform and you need to deliver.
If you just ask for somethingthat you want but you don't
deliver to your deliverables,it's going to be a relationship
that sours very quickly.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Let me ask you a question about reclaiming your
power, when you were in all ofthis panic and that got you to
the point where you sat yourselfdown, maybe, and really worked
(12:56):
through a plan and what it wasthat you needed and what it was
that you were going to ask for,because so many people just have
such a hard time getting out ofthat headspace.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah.
So look, obviously there wasthe psychologist I was working
with at the time and she wasreally great in that she kind of
indulged me in my woe is mestory for about two sessions,
right?
So she, let me do the crying,let me do the blaming, let me
vent.
(13:30):
And then, I think it was by thethird or fourth session, she
asked me a question that was, Iconsider, one of the most
important questions anyone'sever asked me.
And she said to me okay, wheredid you play a role in this
whole situation?
Right?
So, and I remember feeling veryangry at her when she asked me
(13:53):
that question, because I wantedher to agree with me that he was
to blame.
That's what I wanted.
I wanted her to say oh, what anawful man and shouldn't have
done this to you, and how didyou end up like this?
But she did, let me do that fortwo sessions.
The third session was where theempowerment started to happen.
So her question to me was whatrole did you play in this?
(14:15):
And it was a difficult.
And she said I want you to gohome and I want you to write
about that, and write about ithonestly, and write about it,
even if things are starting tocome up that you don't want to
face.
And she looked.
She tapped into a button for mebecause I've always been a
writer.
So when I was growing up inSouth Africa, in those difficult
(14:37):
times as a child, I wrote myway through a lot of things,
everything that I didn'tunderstand.
I always would write down, Iwould write little stories, I
would write poetry.
So writing was a part of me, itwas part of my DNA, and so she
gave me that task go home andwrite and answer this question.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And did she know that you were a writer and therefore
she leveraged something thatyou did?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
No, she didn't.
Actually she didn't.
I don't think we'd gotten tothat part, because a lot of the
sessions were all about megetting that emotion and that
pain out the first two or threesessions and the third one it
was at the end of the sessionwhere she said you know, this is
the question I want you toanswer and go and write about it
, Cause she said there'ssomething about writing out your
(15:23):
emotions and feelings.
Right, so I did.
And for me, you know, writinghas always been the way I
process everything and I lovewords, but this time I had to
write unfiltered, so it wasn'tabout manipulating and using
words to tell a story orsomething.
It was just about actuallydigging.
And I realized that there waspower in that, Because as I was
(15:45):
writing, and you know there wasanger, and there was even anger
at her, because I rememberwriting and how dare she ask me
a question like this?
You know he's to blame.
That was kind of how I startedit.
But, as I wrote and as I becamemore and more uncensored in my
writing, I started to see thatthere were patterns there.
There was stuff in me that youknow.
(16:07):
There were self-esteem issues.
I'd grown up as a woman ofcolor in South Africa that came
with all its baggage with me toAustralia Sure Unresolved issues
of worthiness and so on and soon.
They were all coming up in mywriting and then I, you know I
suppose I looked, I had adaughter and she was an infant
and I would look at her like Idon't want this for my daughter,
(16:30):
I do not want to be an exampleof victimhood.
It really came up reallystrongly for me and I remembered
, you know, my father used tosay when we were younger, when
we were growing up, in thosedifficult times he used to say
you can be a victim of life oryou can be a victor of life.
Sort of came back to me, right,those words came back to me and
(16:53):
that was the start of it,really, that deep
self-reflection looking at whatI would say was the good, the
bad and the ugly Don't want toface all that they eat to face,
including the fact that I wasstressed out, that I was anxious
, that I was disappointed inmyself, that I was embarrassed,
all of these things.
(17:14):
It was liberating.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Fast forwarding to the current.
Do you use journaling I'll callit as a tool for your clients.
Do you suggest that to yourclients?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Yes, so I have a process and it's actually on my
website.
It's a free resource and I callit Mining your Story.
And what we do in Mining yourStory is we dig into the
patterns in our life.
We dig into the talents andskills that we have naturally.
And I always say to people ifyou can't figure that out, ask
yourself what do people come tome for advice for?
(17:47):
Because within that lies a clueto some of your potentially
hidden talents that you haven'teven acknowledged, right?
Yeah, so for me, people alwayscame to me for help with writing
because they knew I loved words.
They knew I loved writingstories.
So when people needed I hadpeople who were doing their
(18:08):
wedding speeches, come and helpme.
So can you help me write mywedding speech, right?
People always came to me forhelp with words, and so that's
what I noticed in my patternwhen I started mining my story,
and that was one of the things Idid as I was answering this
question.
I was also creating a process ofdigging into myself, going okay
(18:30):
, what were the patterns?
What do I really like doing?
Digging into myself going okay,what were the patterns?
What do I really like doing,what am I good at doing, and
what?
Because I help people to dignot only into the professional
life but the personal life aswell.
So what have I overcome?
Because whatever you overcomein life, there's a set of skills
that you've had to use toovercome whatever that thing is.
And so we dig to go find allthe different skills and that's
(19:01):
the foundational piece of allthe work that I do.
For me, if people don't want todo that process, then they
aren't going to have all thelittle nuggets to shape up their
CV, to shape up their LinkedInand to have really confident
answers in an interview.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Wouldn't you also say in them doing that, they also
find the parts of them, theconfident, strong, skilled,
expert, talented parts of themthat they can use to overcome
the self-doubt and theinsecurity that they might be
(19:32):
feeling or whatever the othernegativities are that they're
feeling.
They can use and lean on theirstrengths.
I call them riches, so they canthen, you know, really shed
what I call bitches.
Would you also use it in thatrespect with your clients?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Absolutely so, because people, a lot of people,
go through life.
They don't even look at thestories of their life to see how
much they have overcome, right,and so they just automatically,
when they hit that, that, thatlull, or they hit that
discontentment or they hit thatfear, they become paralyzed by
it.
And sometimes you just needsomeone to guide you and direct
(20:15):
you, to go and look at thethings that you've already
achieved through somechallenging circumstances,
because within that is some ofyour skills and the moment
people identify those skills,there's a level of confidence
that automatically happens,right, and so then they go oh,
(20:35):
my goodness, I forgot about thattime.
You've got that, I did that andthat to get through that, that
and that.
And suddenly, when you start toreally zone in on that, it is,
I suppose, wherever you takeyour mind.
That's what then evolves inyour life, right?
If you take your mind and youget paralyzed by fear and you
zone in on the fear, the fear,the fear, the anxiety, the
(20:57):
anxiety, and you don't work yourway through that to go look at,
maybe, past experiences and go,well, actually, you know, five
years ago this happened to me atmy place of work and these are
the things I did.
Oh, my goodness, there's abunch of skills there and this
is the kind of thing I helppeople identify.
This is very strongfoundational pieces, because the
(21:18):
moment you have that, you havegot everything you need to now
frame up on a resume, on aLinkedIn profile, and really
brand yourself with your ownlevel of resilience, your own
level of confidence and your owngems of achievements, because
everybody's achieved somewherein life Absolutely, and the fact
(21:40):
that we're still alive.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
You know we've achieved and learned and gained
something, so let's also gomoving forward, forward.
Let's talk about the wholemenopausal, post-menopausal
impact of, and for understandingfrom both women and for the men
(22:02):
, as far as what was yourexperience and what was the
impact of it.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
So my experience, as I said, was that it came early.
It affected me in a huge way.
So I think every woman getssome symptoms of menopause.
There's a handful of women thatseem to breeze through it.
You know I get a bit enviousand I call them lucky bitches
when I do meet them, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
You're looking at one .
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Because most of us have a level of symptoms.
I felt like I was very unluckyin that I got pretty much
everything.
So there was the hot flashesinsomnia, severe insomnia,
severe hot flashes that camewith severe nausea, and so I
would often be sitting in theseexec meetings at work and then
the hot flash would keep and Iwould have to race out into the
(22:54):
meeting room to the bathroom.
It was embarrassing because Ididn't know how to talk about it
, because at that time I was theonly woman sitting on the
executive level leadership.
And so it's like how do I evenbring this topic up with these
men?
And they would look at mestrangely and I would come back
and kind of make a joke and sayI've just had a moment.
(23:17):
That's what I would call it.
I've had a moment and I knowthat.
You know, I look back and I go.
You know that wasn't veryempowering because it didn't
help the women behind me comingup behind me, and that was why I
became quite passionate aboutit as through it, when I left
corporate because that was theother thing.
Look, I was probably ready toleave corporate at that stage I
(23:39):
was feeling quite discontentedin my work.
The only thing I still lovedabout my work was mentoring my
staff, right.
So I had a bunch of staffpeople who reported to me and I
was helping them grow in theircareers and mentoring them.
Everything else in my life orin my job was about technology
(24:01):
and project and I was bored totears with it.
Bored to tears.
So I was ready from that mentalperspective.
And then, when menopause hit andall the physical symptoms came
and the stress came because Iwasn't sleeping, my stress was
(24:23):
compounded.
I made the decision to leaveand so I wasn't the person that
probably pioneered some of thechange within the workplace at
that time, but I have since,because the women who have come
to work with me, we now have theconversations and I help them
pitch the conversations withincorporate around getting the
support that they need.
My partner, peter he was sayingso he's also in corporate and
(24:45):
he was hiring for you, you knowtransformation projects and he
was saying one of the things hewas noticing was that he was
losing his midlife women.
They were suddenly quittingtheir jobs and I said to him
it's probably they're enteringmenopause or they're halfway
through that menopausal phaseand it's probably kicking their
butt and they can't cope withthe stress of a high-powered job
(25:09):
or these very, veryhigh-priority projects and so
they're exiting.
And he said well, I want tofigure out how to retain them.
And so I started havingconversations with him around
that as well, and he's beenhaving that conversations within
his place of work.
So that's where the men cameinto it and from the other
women's side, the women thatI've worked with since I left
(25:29):
corporate.
One of the key goals is, apartfrom helping them reshape their
careers and re-identify if theywant to keep going with that job
or if they want to move in adifferent industry, one of the
things we are doing is startingto have that conversations with
the key decision makers, whichare usually men.
Yes, a lot of the executiveleadership team is still
(25:51):
dominated by male and it'sinteresting that I think,
because that conversation hasnow been opening up, I'm seeing
that there's a lot more interestand a lot of these men are
actually using it to understandtheir partners, because
sometimes they've been at work,they have a midlife wife or
partner at home who's goingthrough these changes and they
(26:14):
don't know what's in them.
Some guys tell me, my God, shewas raging and I didn't know
what was going on.
I'm like, wow, you were so nice, like five minutes ago, what
happened?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I'm curious what transition or what change do the
men go through, and do theyever kind of collide as far as
the fact that they bring theiryou know, they bring all of that
into the workplace as well?
And do they have any realempathy around what the women
(26:49):
are going through?
Because they're going throughsomething as well around?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
what the women are going through, because they're
going through something as well.
I think that I know from if Ispeak from my partner's point of
view.
He only really understood themindset and what was going on
because I started journaling andthen I wrote the book.
I wrote the book, this book,internal Uprising when he read
the first draft of it, becausehe's always done a lot of the
edits on of it, because he'salways done a lot of the edits
(27:14):
on my writing, because I alwayslook for a different set of eyes
I actually got him to read thisand he said he was astounded at
what he read because he livedwith me, right, but he had no
idea that I was feeling the wayI was feeling.
This was the thing that Inoticed that I was feeling the
way.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I was feeling.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
This was the thing that I noticed, and I still
notice it in women.
It definitely was my case.
We hide some of that.
We hide the fact that we'resuper stressed.
We continue to posture and pushforward.
That's what women do in life.
But I do think, and I know withme one of the reasons I left
(27:51):
corporate was because I knew Ino longer wanted to be the
perceived strong woman.
Now I am a strong woman and Iown that.
But during that time I wasincredibly vulnerable.
I was incredibly afraid.
I thought I was losing my mindbecause the brain fog that
affected me was so severe.
(28:13):
I was forgetting things and sosuddenly, this once very
polished and put together womanwas falling apart at the seams
and not remembering things andall this.
And so the first fear I had wasoh my God, I'm getting early
onset Alzheimer's.
That was the first thing andthat terrified me.
(28:34):
But then, when I started workingwith the GP and I actually went
to see a naturopath, I startedto realize no, this is a symptom
of menopause and there's waysto deal with it, and one of the
first things I needed to do wasget my sleep under control again
.
Right, so there was all thatside happening, the physical
side that I had to sort out.
But I think with women weposture, we put on the good face
(28:57):
.
We do that not just throughmenopause, We've done it our
whole lives.
Women, when they're stressed,when they're struggling, even
through pregnancies and thingslike that, when they're raising
children and they're findingcertain days difficult, we
continue to push through.
That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
It's.
We're wired that way.
Are you advocating a completecareer change or are you just
getting them to really assess ifwhat they have and what they're
doing is indeed what they wantto be doing the rest of their
career and what they're doing isindeed what they want to be
doing the rest of their career?
You're not saying women shouldmake a complete career change as
(29:42):
they go through thesetransitions.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
It's a matter of them taking time to really assess,
mostly to assess the level ofsupport that they feel they're
getting or that they need,because there's some women that
I've worked with who love theircareer but they're working long
hours, they're findingthemselves getting exhausted at
two o'clock in the afternoon orat three o'clock and they're
like I can't cope.
(30:04):
This exhaustion just comes overme.
So one of the conversations Ihelp them have in the workplace
is go to the HR department andgo to the decision makers and
find a way to get support andthat support in some cases has
had women initiate a quietrespite room that women can go
(30:25):
to at two o'clock, at threeo'clock and just recharge that
they can maybe even go have anap Right at three o'clock and
just recharge that.
They can maybe even go have anap right, because who says you
can't work throughout the day ifyou get to take, you know, a
half an hour nap just torecharge or you can go into a
room and just be mindful and dosome mindful meditation for half
an hour or something right sothese are the types of
(30:47):
conversations that I'm helpingwomen have in the workplace.
So the women who love theircareers no, I never encourage
people to leave.
The other thing that can happenif you leave and you haven't
got the financial backing andsavings, you're going to put
yourself under more stress.
Yes, absolutely, financialchallenges to deal with right.
(31:08):
For me, it's like if you canmake it work in your workplace
and you really love your work,then make it work.
But that means being brave.
We've got to step forward,we've got to champion our causes
as women and we have to ask forsupport.
That we need and that's thereclaiming, your power,
reclaiming your power is allabout identifying what you need
(31:31):
and going to get it, andsometimes going to ask for help
getting it and not apologize forasking.
Unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
So I'm curious you held up your book and you can do
that again if you'd like.
For those at least watching,internal Uprising is her book
and you can get that athappycareerhubcom, her website.
Now could you share with us alittle bit about what it is and
how they can benefit from it?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I would say the first half of the book is about my
very difficult struggles withmenopause, parallel to me trying
to figure out my next move inmy career, and then probably the
second half of the book isabout what I did, how I changed,
how I left corporate, how I gotready to make the change.
(32:20):
Because one of the things Iwill say is I don't encourage
women to just walk out of thejob.
I don't want women to beputting themselves under
financial stress.
So you need to have a plan.
You need to even save and knowthat you're covering yourself.
But sometimes it isn't the caseof women leaving, because some
women want to leave to starttheir own business, and I always
(32:41):
say have a backup plan and havea financial plan to support
that.
But for other women it's aboutthey just want to change.
They want to.
You know, someone might've beenand I'm going to make up
something here Someone might'vebeen in corporate for many years
and find they want to go to anonprofit organization.
They want to work in thecommunity, right?
So that's just a case ofreframing your skills and
(33:06):
transitioning.
Other women want to stay intheir company, right?
So I have plans and methods todo all of that.
But the most important thingthat the book tells women is the
story of, first of all, how tocope through menopause that you
are not going crazy, becausethat's what we think we're doing
, you're not going crazy, andthat there is light at the end
(33:29):
of that menopausal tunnel andthat it comes down to us as
women, to own that sacred time.
I actually view it now as one ofthe most sacred times of my
life.
Nicely Got me to really diginto life, really figure out
what I really wanted to do andalso own all the parts of me,
(33:51):
because it's okay to go throughall the difficult stuff in life,
sure, through it.
We shouldn't be trying to beashamed of things In my case,
hiding away from the men when Iwas in exec leadership, you know
.
No, we need to be the onesspeaking up about it, educating
those around us and gettingtheir support and getting their
(34:13):
help, because in the end ithelps them, to help them too.
The men came on board.
They started to understandtheir partners, their spouses,
but also they were able toretain some of the midlife women
that they were losing duringthat time Right, so it becomes a
win-win situation.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
What would be one thing that you would recommend
our viewers and listeners to doto really reclaim their power,
regardless of the challenge ortransition they're going through
?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Well, I think, understand that.
It is part of our femininecycle, it is part of our life.
It is something to own.
Now, I know it's difficult toown when you're going through a
very difficult time around it.
And then the number one thing Iwould say to women is
understand that if ever there isa time to indulge in some
(35:09):
self-care, this is it, becausewe become very good at taking
care of everyone's priorities.
Most women have been doing itall their life the children, the
colleagues, the parents.
This is the time to putyourself at the top of the
priority list.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
I love that.
I love it, love it, love it.
This has been awesome and wecovered the gamut from basic
challenges of life all the waythrough one's career to those
transitions that are emotionally, physical, physiological,
spiritual.
This has been fabulous, wendy,thank you so much, but I do want
(35:49):
to remind everyone please go tohappycareerhubcom, check out
the work that she is doing,check out her book, which you
can also get at the websiteInternal Uprising, and follow
her on LinkedIn.
Just simply go to Wendy AAlexander and follow her and
(36:09):
reach out to her should you needany help, especially in
reclaiming your power.
Thank you so much, wendy.
This has been fantastic.
Are you a victim or are you avictor?
That is the question thatreally stood out for me as far
as Wendy's conversationregarding how to reclaim your
(36:29):
power.
Wendy Alexander of Happy CareerHub.
Regarding how to reclaim yourpower, wendy Alexander of Happy
Career Hub she put her heart onthe table in front of us and
shared everything about twomajor incidences in her life
that really had her needing togo inward and really account and
consider what it was that shereally wanted, and then asking
(36:54):
for it, with no apologies, andseeking the support in order to
achieve it and eventually beingsuccessful in doing it and being
a victor.
I don't know what I expectedwhen I came into the
conversation, but I walked awayfeeling really good about how I,
and anyone else and all of you,could be navigating change by
(37:19):
reclaiming your power andleveraging all the experiences
and all the victories thatyou've had already in your
lifetime, both at work and athome.
I do want to leave you with onething to be thinking about.
I want you to think about whatis that one bold step you could
be taking right now to movecloser to the career and the
(37:41):
life that you really want.
What is that?
One thing?
And if this episode resonatedwith you, then share it with
someone who also may need it tohelp them through any type of
career or life change ortransition or conflict that they
might be dealing with.
And if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow us or
subscribe.
You can go toballoffirecoachingcom forward
(38:02):
slash podcast.
You can also follow us onYouTube at Shed the Corporate
Bitch TV, and I'll see you rightback here for another episode
of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Thank you for tuning into for another episode of
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(38:36):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
Let me ask you are you going through a major change
in your personal life that isimpacting your career and you
haven't found a way out?
If so, today's episode isperfect.
We're diving into how toreclaim your power through
critical change.
Midlife professionals facemassive shifts navigating
(00:22):
reinvention, prioritizingwell-being, while leading and
challenging.
Yeah, that's not right.
Let me ask you are you goingthrough some major change in
your personal life that isnegatively impacting your career
and you haven't found a way out?
If so, today's episode isperfect for you.
(00:43):
We're diving into how toreclaim your power through
critical change.
Midlife professionals facemassive shifts navigating
reinvention, prioritizingwell-being, while leading and
challenging societalexpectations.
But here's the truth Changeisn't the end.
It's your opportunity forCareer 2.0.
(01:06):
Our guest, wendy Alexander ofHappy Career Hub, is a
powerhouse interview and careercoach, helping women break free
from the typical good, securejob trap to build the careers
they truly want.
She'll share practicalstrategies to reinvent your
career, actionable steps totransition with confidence and
(01:28):
how to navigate challenges headon.
So, as you listen, I want youto consider this question what's
one change you've been avoidingto make that could lead you out
of the darkness and into thebrilliant light of your career
and life Let and every episode.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
With more than 25 years in corporate trenches,
(02:09):
bernadette's own journey frombeing dismissed as a tyrant boss
to becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Wendy, how are you Welcome?
I absolutely love thisconversation about reclaiming
your power, especially for womengoing through the transition
that's impacting their successin the workplace, or at least
what they're perceiving as thembeing able to adjust and
(02:53):
transition into that new phase.
But before we do, I'd love ouraudience to get to know Wendy,
so could you tell us a littlebit about yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Well, I'm at the stage of life where I call
myself a menopause thriver.
But that wasn't the case when Istarted out.
It actually slammed me becauseI entered that phase at age 45,
which was a lot earlier than Iexpected.
So in my mind it was supposedto happen in my fifties.
(03:24):
It came early and it slammed me, knocked me for a six and
changed my life in many ways.
I was in a high poweredexecutive career at the time and
the brain fog, the insomnia,the hot flashes, all of it came
like a tidal wave over me and Icouldn't really cope.
(03:45):
It put me under incrediblestress, and I was already in a
highly stressful job, becausewhen you're at that level of
corporate and you're having tomake all these big decisions,
run these multi-million dollarprojects, you're under a bit of
stress.
I don't think you can get awayfrom that when you are working
at that pace.
And so in the end I had tore-evaluate my life and I had to
(04:10):
, I suppose, ditch my corporatebitches.
I had to ditch that, thosefears, those anxieties, and
really evaluate the directionthat I wanted to go.
But I already had the side gigbusiness of helping people in
(04:32):
their careers, because I hadtransformed my career from, you
know, hitting rock bottom,losing a relationship, being
pregnant with a baby andentering single motherhood 23
years earlier.
And I transformed my own careerthrough a lot of research,
writing and rewriting my CV,working with recruiters and
(04:53):
hiring people, and then landedin the roles that took me on a
very fast trajectory towardssuccess.
The people who knew my storyfriends, family, colleagues came
for help and that's how my sidebusiness was born.
But I was in full-time incorporate and part-time coaching
(05:14):
people, especially helping themwrite their resumes and their
LinkedIn profiles and thingslike that.
And so when menopause slammedme, I already had something that
was very much a side gig, but Ileft corporate and turned that
into the full time what I do now.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I work in the career coaching space want to kind of
paint the picture of how you didreclaim your power, especially,
as you said, 23 years earlier.
You found yourself goingthrough a change, having a child
(05:51):
, so forth and so on.
What was all those externalfactors doing to you inside your
career and how were theyplaying out as far as how you
felt toward being able to climbthe corporate ladder and be
(06:12):
successful?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
So when my relationship ended, it was a
pretty acrimonious ending and hepretty much walked away from
everything.
The house sold and it sold at aloss and there was a huge debt
hanging over me about $50,000 ofdebt.
I was four months pregnant whenthat happened.
Of course, I went through allthe anxiety and the fear and the
(06:38):
panic and the how did thishappen to me?
I considered myself areasonably intelligent woman, so
I was flummo intelligent woman,so I was flummoxed at how I'd
created that situation in mylife.
I'd say one of the first stepsI did do was I sought help
emotionally.
So I went to a psychologistbecause I was like I need to
(06:59):
figure out what just happenedhere.
How did my life hit this rockbottom?
And also, being pregnant, I wasvery determined to clear up
that emotional mess because Ididn't want to bring that to my
child.
There was that factor drivingit.
But then, when I looked at thereality as well, there was this
(07:21):
debt over my head.
My income was about to stopbecause I was going to go on
maternity leave in, like youknow, four or five months, and
so the panic set in and I wasgoing through a rollercoaster of
emotions, and I will say that Icall it doona diving.
I doona dived, you know where Iwas hiding away from the world
(07:41):
for a while, didn't want to know, didn't want to face the
reality.
But eventually I had to emergefrom that doona because reality
was income was going to stop,there's a baby on the way.
I need to sort my life out, andso one of the first places I
started was an opportunity came.
I had had the baby, so myparents I actually moved back
(08:02):
home with the parents and theysupported me through the birth
of my child.
And then I got a phone callfrom one of my ex-bosses and he
said I need someone to come backand help me with this project
that's in trouble.
And he said I was told so thiswas a new boss.
Oh, he was told by my ex-bossthat I was the person Getting in
(08:23):
touch with Wendy, said she's onmaternity leave, and so I saw
that as an opportunity.
He rang me, wanted me to comeback early, and I said I'll come
back early if I can have theseconditions.
And my conditions were I'mgoing to work from home most of
the time because I have adaughter, a young daughter, an
(08:44):
infant.
I'm going to work from homemost of the time because I have
a daughter, a young daughter, aninfant, and I'll come in one
day a week and have all mymeetings on that day and then
I'll do the rest of the workfrom home, and he actually
agreed to that.
So here was one of the firstthings I learned about claiming
power was to ask for what youneed, to ask for the support you
need.
Awesome Because a lot of peoplethe support you need.
(09:05):
Awesome Because a lot of peopledon't do that Right.
People often think you knowthey get in situations and they
think that they can't ask forhelp.
Right, or they don't ask forhelp.
There's a lot of cases wherepeople are too filled with pride
or they're sometimes tooashamed of the fact Now, I was
all of those things pride.
Or they're sometimes tooashamed of the fact that I was
(09:26):
all of those things.
I was ashamed, I wasembarrassed that I had allowed
my life to get so messy, but Icouldn't wallow in that.
You know, at some point I hadto step out.
So the help that I got from anemotional space was from my
parents and they were amazingand my siblings, and then the
help I got from, you know, mycareer space was actually asking
(09:47):
for it.
I said this is my situation,yeah, and I'm not ready to leave
my child all day, every day.
Yeah, I want to be a presentmother.
And so I ended up negotiatingthis arrangement with my boss
and started back in corporate.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Now, oh, I'm sorry, but some people might say, well,
you know, obviously you know healready kind of befriended you
and you know you had thatrelationship with him and that's
why it was okay for you to ask.
But what you're also stating is, regardless of that, know what
you want, believe in the factthat you should be able to ask
(10:30):
for it and then go and ask forit.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Correct, yes correct Because look, in other
circumstances later on, when Iwas going into new roles so this
was with people that didn'tknow me I kept up that ability
to ask and always in myinterview I would say to them
you know, I'm interviewing youas much as you're interviewing
me, and I need to know that thisis going to be a mutually
(10:56):
beneficial arrangement, workingarrangement.
And I even, you know, say,three years later, when I
changed companies, the firstthing when they asked me, do you
have anything?
At the end of the interview, doyou have anything to say or ask
, I said this is mycircumstances and I would like
to work a couple of days fromhome.
I don't want my daughter indaycare every day.
(11:17):
I'm happy to put her in some ofthe days, but not and there was
never an interview that I didafter that where I didn't ask
for that Perfect.
Also, you know bold enough tostate to them that I was
interviewing them Right, Becausethey were interviewing me and
that the arrangement had to workfor both of us.
Sure, One of the things I'veseen and learned in the
(11:39):
corporate world is that if thearrangement doesn't work for
both parties, then therelationship is untenable.
After a while Someone becomesresentful.
Someone becomes unproductiveright.
And when you're negotiating inthe career space, it's always
good to define what you needbeforehand and then, when you
(12:03):
get your opportunity becausethey always do give you the
opportunity I've never seen manyinterviews where they don't ask
the candidate what do you haveany questions for us or anything
we need to know about you?
That's your opportunity tonegotiate.
Absolutely, this is what I want, this is what I need.
And then, obviously, the otherside of that is you need to
(12:23):
perform and you need to deliver.
If you just ask for somethingthat you want but you don't
deliver to your deliverables,it's going to be a relationship
that sours very quickly.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Let me ask you a question about reclaiming your
power, when you were in all ofthis panic and that got you to
the point where you sat yourselfdown, maybe, and really worked
(12:56):
through a plan and what it wasthat you needed and what it was
that you were going to ask for,because so many people just have
such a hard time getting out ofthat headspace.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah.
So look, obviously there wasthe psychologist I was working
with at the time and she wasreally great in that she kind of
indulged me in my woe is mestory for about two sessions,
right?
So she, let me do the crying,let me do the blaming, let me
vent.
(13:30):
And then, I think it was by thethird or fourth session, she
asked me a question that was, Iconsider, one of the most
important questions anyone'sever asked me.
And she said to me okay, wheredid you play a role in this
whole situation?
Right?
So, and I remember feeling veryangry at her when she asked me
(13:53):
that question, because I wantedher to agree with me that he was
to blame.
That's what I wanted.
I wanted her to say oh, what anawful man and shouldn't have
done this to you, and how didyou end up like this?
But she did, let me do that fortwo sessions.
The third session was where theempowerment started to happen.
So her question to me was whatrole did you play in this?
(14:15):
And it was a difficult.
And she said I want you to gohome and I want you to write
about that, and write about ithonestly, and write about it,
even if things are starting tocome up that you don't want to
face.
And she looked.
She tapped into a button for mebecause I've always been a
writer.
So when I was growing up inSouth Africa, in those difficult
(14:37):
times as a child, I wrote myway through a lot of things,
everything that I didn'tunderstand.
I always would write down, Iwould write little stories, I
would write poetry.
So writing was a part of me, itwas part of my DNA, and so she
gave me that task go home andwrite and answer this question.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And did she know that you were a writer and therefore
she leveraged something thatyou did?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
No, she didn't.
Actually she didn't.
I don't think we'd gotten tothat part, because a lot of the
sessions were all about megetting that emotion and that
pain out the first two or threesessions and the third one it
was at the end of the sessionwhere she said you know, this is
the question I want you toanswer and go and write about it
, Cause she said there'ssomething about writing out your
(15:23):
emotions and feelings.
Right, so I did.
And for me, you know, writinghas always been the way I
process everything and I lovewords, but this time I had to
write unfiltered, so it wasn'tabout manipulating and using
words to tell a story orsomething.
It was just about actuallydigging.
And I realized that there waspower in that, Because as I was
(15:45):
writing, and you know there wasanger, and there was even anger
at her, because I rememberwriting and how dare she ask me
a question like this?
You know he's to blame.
That was kind of how I startedit.
But, as I wrote and as I becamemore and more uncensored in my
writing, I started to see thatthere were patterns there.
There was stuff in me that youknow.
(16:07):
There were self-esteem issues.
I'd grown up as a woman ofcolor in South Africa that came
with all its baggage with me toAustralia Sure Unresolved issues
of worthiness and so on and soon.
They were all coming up in mywriting and then I, you know I
suppose I looked, I had adaughter and she was an infant
and I would look at her like Idon't want this for my daughter,
(16:30):
I do not want to be an exampleof victimhood.
It really came up reallystrongly for me and I remembered
, you know, my father used tosay when we were younger, when
we were growing up, in thosedifficult times he used to say
you can be a victim of life oryou can be a victor of life.
Sort of came back to me, right,those words came back to me and
(16:53):
that was the start of it,really, that deep
self-reflection looking at whatI would say was the good, the
bad and the ugly Don't want toface all that they eat to face,
including the fact that I wasstressed out, that I was anxious
, that I was disappointed inmyself, that I was embarrassed,
all of these things.
(17:14):
It was liberating.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Fast forwarding to the current.
Do you use journaling I'll callit as a tool for your clients.
Do you suggest that to yourclients?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Yes, so I have a process and it's actually on my
website.
It's a free resource and I callit Mining your Story.
And what we do in Mining yourStory is we dig into the
patterns in our life.
We dig into the talents andskills that we have naturally.
And I always say to people ifyou can't figure that out, ask
yourself what do people come tome for advice for?
(17:47):
Because within that lies a clueto some of your potentially
hidden talents that you haven'teven acknowledged, right?
Yeah, so for me, people alwayscame to me for help with writing
because they knew I loved words.
They knew I loved writingstories.
So when people needed I hadpeople who were doing their
(18:08):
wedding speeches, come and helpme.
So can you help me write mywedding speech, right?
People always came to me forhelp with words, and so that's
what I noticed in my patternwhen I started mining my story,
and that was one of the things Idid as I was answering this
question.
I was also creating a process ofdigging into myself, going okay
(18:30):
, what were the patterns?
What do I really like doing?
Digging into myself going okay,what were the patterns?
What do I really like doing,what am I good at doing, and
what?
Because I help people to dignot only into the professional
life but the personal life aswell.
So what have I overcome?
Because whatever you overcomein life, there's a set of skills
that you've had to use toovercome whatever that thing is.
And so we dig to go find allthe different skills and that's
(19:01):
the foundational piece of allthe work that I do.
For me, if people don't want todo that process, then they
aren't going to have all thelittle nuggets to shape up their
CV, to shape up their LinkedInand to have really confident
answers in an interview.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Wouldn't you also say in them doing that, they also
find the parts of them, theconfident, strong, skilled,
expert, talented parts of themthat they can use to overcome
the self-doubt and theinsecurity that they might be
(19:32):
feeling or whatever the othernegativities are that they're
feeling.
They can use and lean on theirstrengths.
I call them riches, so they canthen, you know, really shed
what I call bitches.
Would you also use it in thatrespect with your clients?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Absolutely so, because people, a lot of people,
go through life.
They don't even look at thestories of their life to see how
much they have overcome, right,and so they just automatically,
when they hit that, that, thatlull, or they hit that
discontentment or they hit thatfear, they become paralyzed by
it.
And sometimes you just needsomeone to guide you and direct
(20:15):
you, to go and look at thethings that you've already
achieved through somechallenging circumstances,
because within that is some ofyour skills and the moment
people identify those skills,there's a level of confidence
that automatically happens,right, and so then they go oh,
(20:35):
my goodness, I forgot about thattime.
You've got that, I did that andthat to get through that, that
and that.
And suddenly, when you start toreally zone in on that, it is,
I suppose, wherever you takeyour mind.
That's what then evolves inyour life, right?
If you take your mind and youget paralyzed by fear and you
zone in on the fear, the fear,the fear, the anxiety, the
(20:57):
anxiety, and you don't work yourway through that to go look at,
maybe, past experiences and go,well, actually, you know, five
years ago this happened to me atmy place of work and these are
the things I did.
Oh, my goodness, there's abunch of skills there and this
is the kind of thing I helppeople identify.
This is very strongfoundational pieces, because the
(21:18):
moment you have that, you havegot everything you need to now
frame up on a resume, on aLinkedIn profile, and really
brand yourself with your ownlevel of resilience, your own
level of confidence and your owngems of achievements, because
everybody's achieved somewherein life Absolutely, and the fact
(21:40):
that we're still alive.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
You know we've achieved and learned and gained
something, so let's also gomoving forward, forward.
Let's talk about the wholemenopausal, post-menopausal
impact of, and for understandingfrom both women and for the men
(22:02):
, as far as what was yourexperience and what was the
impact of it.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
So my experience, as I said, was that it came early.
It affected me in a huge way.
So I think every woman getssome symptoms of menopause.
There's a handful of women thatseem to breeze through it.
You know I get a bit enviousand I call them lucky bitches
when I do meet them, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
You're looking at one .
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Because most of us have a level of symptoms.
I felt like I was very unluckyin that I got pretty much
everything.
So there was the hot flashesinsomnia, severe insomnia,
severe hot flashes that camewith severe nausea, and so I
would often be sitting in theseexec meetings at work and then
the hot flash would keep and Iwould have to race out into the
(22:54):
meeting room to the bathroom.
It was embarrassing because Ididn't know how to talk about it
, because at that time I was theonly woman sitting on the
executive level leadership.
And so it's like how do I evenbring this topic up with these
men?
And they would look at mestrangely and I would come back
and kind of make a joke and sayI've just had a moment.
(23:17):
That's what I would call it.
I've had a moment and I knowthat.
You know, I look back and I go.
You know that wasn't veryempowering because it didn't
help the women behind me comingup behind me, and that was why I
became quite passionate aboutit as through it, when I left
corporate because that was theother thing.
Look, I was probably ready toleave corporate at that stage I
(23:39):
was feeling quite discontentedin my work.
The only thing I still lovedabout my work was mentoring my
staff, right.
So I had a bunch of staffpeople who reported to me and I
was helping them grow in theircareers and mentoring them.
Everything else in my life orin my job was about technology
(24:01):
and project and I was bored totears with it.
Bored to tears.
So I was ready from that mentalperspective.
And then, when menopause hit andall the physical symptoms came
and the stress came because Iwasn't sleeping, my stress was
(24:23):
compounded.
I made the decision to leaveand so I wasn't the person that
probably pioneered some of thechange within the workplace at
that time, but I have since,because the women who have come
to work with me, we now have theconversations and I help them
pitch the conversations withincorporate around getting the
support that they need.
My partner, peter he was sayingso he's also in corporate and
(24:45):
he was hiring for you, you knowtransformation projects and he
was saying one of the things hewas noticing was that he was
losing his midlife women.
They were suddenly quittingtheir jobs and I said to him
it's probably they're enteringmenopause or they're halfway
through that menopausal phaseand it's probably kicking their
butt and they can't cope withthe stress of a high-powered job
(25:09):
or these very, veryhigh-priority projects and so
they're exiting.
And he said well, I want tofigure out how to retain them.
And so I started havingconversations with him around
that as well, and he's beenhaving that conversations within
his place of work.
So that's where the men cameinto it and from the other
women's side, the women thatI've worked with since I left
(25:29):
corporate.
One of the key goals is, apartfrom helping them reshape their
careers and re-identify if theywant to keep going with that job
or if they want to move in adifferent industry, one of the
things we are doing is startingto have that conversations with
the key decision makers, whichare usually men.
Yes, a lot of the executiveleadership team is still
(25:51):
dominated by male and it'sinteresting that I think,
because that conversation hasnow been opening up, I'm seeing
that there's a lot more interestand a lot of these men are
actually using it to understandtheir partners, because
sometimes they've been at work,they have a midlife wife or
partner at home who's goingthrough these changes and they
(26:14):
don't know what's in them.
Some guys tell me, my God, shewas raging and I didn't know
what was going on.
I'm like, wow, you were so nice, like five minutes ago, what
happened?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I'm curious what transition or what change do the
men go through, and do theyever kind of collide as far as
the fact that they bring theiryou know, they bring all of that
into the workplace as well?
And do they have any realempathy around what the women
(26:49):
are going through?
Because they're going throughsomething as well around?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
what the women are going through, because they're
going through something as well.
I think that I know from if Ispeak from my partner's point of
view.
He only really understood themindset and what was going on
because I started journaling andthen I wrote the book.
I wrote the book, this book,internal Uprising when he read
the first draft of it, becausehe's always done a lot of the
edits on of it, because he'salways done a lot of the edits
(27:14):
on my writing, because I alwayslook for a different set of eyes
I actually got him to read thisand he said he was astounded at
what he read because he livedwith me, right, but he had no
idea that I was feeling the wayI was feeling.
This was the thing that Inoticed that I was feeling the
way.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I was feeling.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
This was the thing that I noticed, and I still
notice it in women.
It definitely was my case.
We hide some of that.
We hide the fact that we'resuper stressed.
We continue to posture and pushforward.
That's what women do in life.
But I do think, and I know withme one of the reasons I left
(27:51):
corporate was because I knew Ino longer wanted to be the
perceived strong woman.
Now I am a strong woman and Iown that.
But during that time I wasincredibly vulnerable.
I was incredibly afraid.
I thought I was losing my mindbecause the brain fog that
affected me was so severe.
(28:13):
I was forgetting things and sosuddenly, this once very
polished and put together womanwas falling apart at the seams
and not remembering things andall this.
And so the first fear I had wasoh my God, I'm getting early
onset Alzheimer's.
That was the first thing andthat terrified me.
(28:34):
But then, when I started workingwith the GP and I actually went
to see a naturopath, I startedto realize no, this is a symptom
of menopause and there's waysto deal with it, and one of the
first things I needed to do wasget my sleep under control again
.
Right, so there was all thatside happening, the physical
side that I had to sort out.
But I think with women weposture, we put on the good face
(28:57):
.
We do that not just throughmenopause, We've done it our
whole lives.
Women, when they're stressed,when they're struggling, even
through pregnancies and thingslike that, when they're raising
children and they're findingcertain days difficult, we
continue to push through.
That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
It's.
We're wired that way.
Are you advocating a completecareer change or are you just
getting them to really assess ifwhat they have and what they're
doing is indeed what they wantto be doing the rest of their
career and what they're doing isindeed what they want to be
doing the rest of their career?
You're not saying women shouldmake a complete career change as
(29:42):
they go through thesetransitions.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
It's a matter of them taking time to really assess,
mostly to assess the level ofsupport that they feel they're
getting or that they need,because there's some women that
I've worked with who love theircareer but they're working long
hours, they're findingthemselves getting exhausted at
two o'clock in the afternoon orat three o'clock and they're
like I can't cope.
(30:04):
This exhaustion just comes overme.
So one of the conversations Ihelp them have in the workplace
is go to the HR department andgo to the decision makers and
find a way to get support andthat support in some cases has
had women initiate a quietrespite room that women can go
(30:25):
to at two o'clock, at threeo'clock and just recharge that
they can maybe even go have anap Right at three o'clock and
just recharge that.
They can maybe even go have anap right, because who says you
can't work throughout the day ifyou get to take, you know, a
half an hour nap just torecharge or you can go into a
room and just be mindful and dosome mindful meditation for half
an hour or something right sothese are the types of
(30:47):
conversations that I'm helpingwomen have in the workplace.
So the women who love theircareers no, I never encourage
people to leave.
The other thing that can happenif you leave and you haven't
got the financial backing andsavings, you're going to put
yourself under more stress.
Yes, absolutely, financialchallenges to deal with right.
(31:08):
For me, it's like if you canmake it work in your workplace
and you really love your work,then make it work.
But that means being brave.
We've got to step forward,we've got to champion our causes
as women and we have to ask forsupport.
That we need and that's thereclaiming, your power,
reclaiming your power is allabout identifying what you need
(31:31):
and going to get it, andsometimes going to ask for help
getting it and not apologize forasking.
Unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
So I'm curious you held up your book and you can do
that again if you'd like.
For those at least watching,internal Uprising is her book
and you can get that athappycareerhubcom, her website.
Now could you share with us alittle bit about what it is and
how they can benefit from it?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I would say the first half of the book is about my
very difficult struggles withmenopause, parallel to me trying
to figure out my next move inmy career, and then probably the
second half of the book isabout what I did, how I changed,
how I left corporate, how I gotready to make the change.
(32:20):
Because one of the things Iwill say is I don't encourage
women to just walk out of thejob.
I don't want women to beputting themselves under
financial stress.
So you need to have a plan.
You need to even save and knowthat you're covering yourself.
But sometimes it isn't the caseof women leaving, because some
women want to leave to starttheir own business, and I always
(32:41):
say have a backup plan and havea financial plan to support
that.
But for other women it's aboutthey just want to change.
They want to.
You know, someone might've beenand I'm going to make up
something here Someone might'vebeen in corporate for many years
and find they want to go to anonprofit organization.
They want to work in thecommunity, right?
So that's just a case ofreframing your skills and
(33:06):
transitioning.
Other women want to stay intheir company, right?
So I have plans and methods todo all of that.
But the most important thingthat the book tells women is the
story of, first of all, how tocope through menopause that you
are not going crazy, becausethat's what we think we're doing
, you're not going crazy, andthat there is light at the end
(33:29):
of that menopausal tunnel andthat it comes down to us as
women, to own that sacred time.
I actually view it now as one ofthe most sacred times of my
life.
Nicely Got me to really diginto life, really figure out
what I really wanted to do andalso own all the parts of me,
(33:51):
because it's okay to go throughall the difficult stuff in life,
sure, through it.
We shouldn't be trying to beashamed of things In my case,
hiding away from the men when Iwas in exec leadership, you know
.
No, we need to be the onesspeaking up about it, educating
those around us and gettingtheir support and getting their
(34:13):
help, because in the end ithelps them, to help them too.
The men came on board.
They started to understandtheir partners, their spouses,
but also they were able toretain some of the midlife women
that they were losing duringthat time Right, so it becomes a
win-win situation.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
What would be one thing that you would recommend
our viewers and listeners to doto really reclaim their power,
regardless of the challenge ortransition they're going through
?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Well, I think, understand that.
It is part of our femininecycle, it is part of our life.
It is something to own.
Now, I know it's difficult toown when you're going through a
very difficult time around it.
And then the number one thing Iwould say to women is
understand that if ever there isa time to indulge in some
(35:09):
self-care, this is it, becausewe become very good at taking
care of everyone's priorities.
Most women have been doing itall their life the children, the
colleagues, the parents.
This is the time to putyourself at the top of the
priority list.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
I love that.
I love it, love it, love it.
This has been awesome and wecovered the gamut from basic
challenges of life all the waythrough one's career to those
transitions that are emotionally, physical, physiological,
spiritual.
This has been fabulous, wendy,thank you so much, but I do want
(35:49):
to remind everyone please go tohappycareerhubcom, check out
the work that she is doing,check out her book, which you
can also get at the websiteInternal Uprising, and follow
her on LinkedIn.
Just simply go to Wendy AAlexander and follow her and
(36:09):
reach out to her should you needany help, especially in
reclaiming your power.
Thank you so much, wendy.
This has been fantastic.
Are you a victim or are you avictor?
That is the question thatreally stood out for me as far
as Wendy's conversationregarding how to reclaim your
(36:29):
power.
Wendy Alexander of Happy CareerHub.
Regarding how to reclaim yourpower, wendy Alexander of Happy
Career Hub she put her heart onthe table in front of us and
shared everything about twomajor incidences in her life
that really had her needing togo inward and really account and
consider what it was that shereally wanted, and then asking
(36:54):
for it, with no apologies, andseeking the support in order to
achieve it and eventually beingsuccessful in doing it and being
a victor.
I don't know what I expectedwhen I came into the
conversation, but I walked awayfeeling really good about how I,
and anyone else and all of you,could be navigating change by
(37:19):
reclaiming your power andleveraging all the experiences
and all the victories thatyou've had already in your
lifetime, both at work and athome.
I do want to leave you with onething to be thinking about.
I want you to think about whatis that one bold step you could
be taking right now to movecloser to the career and the
(37:41):
life that you really want.
What is that?
One thing?
And if this episode resonatedwith you, then share it with
someone who also may need it tohelp them through any type of
career or life change ortransition or conflict that they
might be dealing with.
And if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow us or
subscribe.
You can go toballoffirecoachingcom forward
(38:02):
slash podcast.
You can also follow us onYouTube at Shed the Corporate
Bitch TV, and I'll see you rightback here for another episode
of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Thank you for tuning into for another episode of
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(38:36):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
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