April 1, 2025 • 37 mins
How often have you paused to ask yourself: What is my 'why,' and how can unlocking it transform the way I navigate my work and personal goals?
In this empowering episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch, host Bernadette Boas engages in a transformative conversation with Jannette Anderson, also known as the "Why Whisperer" as she shares her unique insights and proven strategies to help you discover and articulate your "why," enabling you to stand out and achieve both personal and professional success.
Challenges Explored:
- The struggle of identifying personal and professional "why" and its significance in achieving career goals.
- Overcoming core negative beliefs and stories that hinder personal growth.
- Navigating and thriving in work environments that may not align with your personal values or purpose.
Key Talking Points:
- What makes you stand out and how to convey it compellingly.
- The intersection of healing from the past and longing for the future as the essence of your "why."
- The importance of storytelling in personal branding and professional environments.
- Utilizing personal "why" to transform not just personal life but also to impact organizational and team dynamics.
- The concept of the "Genesis Story" and why it is crucial for self-presentation.
Connect with Us:
- Learn more about Jannette Anderson and her work at Maturepreneur World and follow her on Facebook @MaturepreneurWorld.
- Visit Jannette's website for Genesis Story training: Bodacity.ca/GenesisStory
- Connect with Bernadette Boas on LinkedIn for further insights and support - www.linkedin.com/in/bernadetteboas
Whether you're looking to declutter your personal fears or rise as a powerhouse leader in your organization, this episode offers valuable perspectives to help you redefine your path with clarity and confidence.
Don't forget to subscribe for more empowering conversations, and share your thoughts and experiences with us. If you're ready to make bold strides in your leadership journey, reach out to Bernadette at coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall for a complimentary session.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Do you know what makes you stand out amongst
everyone else around you?
Can you share it with others ina powerful and compelling way
that helps you achieve yourcareer and personal goals?
Our guest, Jeanette Anderson ofMaturepreneur World, is known
as the why Whisperer and issharing her transformative tips
(00:21):
and process to help you captureand convey your story, to create
clarity, advocacy anddifferentiation.
You'll hear tips and storiesaround why this question is so
critical for you to be able toanswer and three ways to gain
clarity around your why and,lastly, how to use that clarity
(00:43):
in your attraction andpersuasion efforts.
You will walk away withexcitement, energy and
confidence that you can standout in any room and achieve your
business and personal goals.
So stay with us.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
(01:19):
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Janette, how are you Welcome?
Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Hello, I am awesome and I'm awesomely grateful to be
here, Bernadette.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'm thrilled that you're here as well, and I'm
very excited to talk about thissubject, and more so about how
you are a why whisperer, and wewill get into that.
But before we do, I love ourlisteners and viewers to get to
know the individuals that we'retalking to, so could you share
with us a little bit aboutJeanette?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Okay.
Well, there's a bunch of thingsthat I could tell you, but I
think I came out of the wombentrepreneurial.
I'm pretty sure I was carryinga briefcase, which my mother did
not appreciate.
I had my very first businesswhen I was five, because I
wanted to get the book, heidi,and we were poor.
My mom yelled at me and said no, can't afford it.
And I had heard that a lotgrowing up, bernadette, so it
(02:34):
didn't really surprise me.
But the thing about kids is wedon't complicate things like we
do when we get older.
And so I thought no money, getmoney Easy, right Solution.
So how do I get money?
Well, I had seen someone in ourhousing tenement have a garage
sale a little while before.
So I thought, okay, I'll have abusiness and I'll get money,
(02:54):
and then I can get the book Easy.
So one day, when mom was atwork I'm sure someone was
supposed to be watching me I wasfive, yeah, five, and I hauled
everything I could carry out ofthe house small knickknacks and,
and you know, little appliancesand light toys, and my mom's
brand new pink wool dress andbrand new still had the tag on
(03:16):
it and I priced everythingbecause, like I said, I was very
entrepreneurial.
I could count Lenny before Icould talk almost, and I priced
everything and I had a verysuccessful venture I remember to
this day.
I can't tell you what.
I had for lunch yesterday, but Ican tell you I made $13.72 that
day.
Nice Came home, I ran up to herand I said look, look, we're
(03:37):
not money now.
Can we get the book right?
Problem solution.
She didn't quite see it thatway, bernadette.
She's not at all impressed likeI thought she should be.
I got spanked because I soldall of her stuff and she took my
money.
I didn't get the book and I hadto go back and buy everything
back and fortunately the adultssold me back the stuff, but the
(03:59):
kids didn't sell me back my toys, so I lost most of my toys.
So many people would say thatwasn't a very successful first
step here, but I tell you Ithink it was, because I learned
three really important things.
One was to go into businesswith family I'm kidding, but not
really.
The second thing was that wecan be resourceful and find
(04:23):
solutions to our desires, ourdreams, our wishes, if we just
get really practical about it.
And, whether you create a sidehustle or you do it through your
job or you do it with abusiness, however you do it,
that our ingenuity can solve theproblems, to create us having
what we want to be, do and have.
(04:44):
And the third thing that Ilearned is I remember distinctly
when my mom said, no, we can'tafford it.
I remember the look of shame andanger and frustration and
sadness on her face and Iremember deciding, even though I
was only five at that moment,that I never wanted to see that
look on another person's basenot hers, not mine, not anyone
(05:06):
else's and that became thesource of my why was to support
people in creating their yeslives instead of no lives.
And and underneath that wasthat that I wanted people to get
that they mattered and theydeserved to have a yes life.
And why?
(05:27):
Well, because I always wantedto matter.
I wanted to get on the list.
Growing up, I wasn't so much onthe list, everything else came
first.
And so that became my why andhas underlined everything, or
underlined everything that I'vedone since then Personal
development, facilitation ofpersonal growth, courses, or
(05:48):
helping entrepreneurs grow theirbusiness, or lecturing and
teaching in corporate whateverit is that I've done.
Underlying all of that is thatI want you to get that you
matter and live like you do sothat you have a yes life.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Beautiful.
That's awesome and a greatsegue and I love that childhood
story.
That is fabulous.
That's a great segue into ourconversation about standing out
and really rising as a result ofknowing your why.
We've talked about it on thisprogram before.
However, we have more and moreand more listeners and viewers
(06:26):
and I'm sure not everyone isreally understanding what we're
talking about when we say knowyour why, and so can you explain
that for them?
And then we'll get into somedeeper conversations about how
to go about identifying it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Right, and I'm going to tell you a definition that
other people don't have, and soit's a different perspective.
I believe your why is theintersection of what you're
healing from the past and whatyou long for for the future, for
yourself and others.
So what you're healing from thepast and what you long for for
yourself and others for thefuture, and I think our why is a
(07:05):
thread that weaves through thetapestry of our lives.
It doesn't change, it'sconsistent.
You can call it what we'reinvestigating for the universe,
purpose, whatever.
I think the words purpose andmission are often laden and
overused, and so that's why Ireally like to call it your why,
why you do what you do.
It doesn't change.
(07:25):
Now, your stand, how you expressand live into your why.
That changes consistentlythroughout our life.
We show up and live into ourwhy in a variety of different
ways and roles and differentexpressions, but the why is
consistent.
So that's what I call it, and Ithink it's super important to
know what your why is, becauseit gets us out of bed in the
(07:48):
morning, differentiates us,whether that's in the
marketplace or in the workplace,it helps us to stand out, it
helps us to enroll people inwhatever it is.
That is our vision, our work orwhatever we're doing, because
people buy.
Why you do what you do, notwhat you do or what you're
(08:09):
selling.
Yes, that's my friend of themind, Simon Sinek.
He's got a great book on StartWith why I think it should
incorporate.
It works in entrepreneurship,it works in your family, it
works everywhere.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Let me ask you a question first, before we go
further into the.
Why is you mentioned that it'sa both healing and you know what
you want and what you want forothers?
What is it about the healingpart that's in this definition
of?
Why does someone have to havehealing in or you know, or is it
(08:42):
learning and growing, but canyou explain the healing part of
it?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Sure, yeah, great question.
I believe that all of us, atsome point in our childhood, had
something that became what Icall a core negative belief, a
belief that we carry forward andthat directs a lot of what we
do or don't do in the world, howwe show up.
It's inevitable, it's part ofbeing human and it's something
(09:10):
that, if we don't get it healed,it's kind of the end of the
thread and a lot of things thatdon't work in our lives.
So, whether you know, you'vegot some belief around.
Not enough, I'm good enough,smart enough, whatever.
Whatever that core wound is, itshows up.
It stops you from getting araise at work, it stops you from
going after that person thatyou really want to have a date
with, it stops you from beingwho you want to be in the world.
(09:33):
And so until we get thathandled, until we get that
conscious and aware and healingon that, it's going to continue
to be the thing that underminesa lot of our success.
But it's also the thing that Ithink really creates the frame
that we looked at the worldthrough, and so when we reframe
(09:54):
that, we tell better stories,because it's basically a story
we made up of ourselves in theworld at some point, based on
that thing, so you know, minewas I didn't matter point.
Based on that thing, so you know, mine was I didn't matter, okay
, and came about through avariety of different things and
experiences.
Well, if I carry I don't matterinto the world, it's going to
impact everything and has anddoes, until that gets remedied
(10:18):
or a new story gets written.
So that's super important.
And there isn't a human beingalive that doesn't have some
version of that going or running, that core negative belief, and
and it it gives us our flavor.
I call it our note in the choirthe combination of that which
we grew up with, both positiveand negative, and you know, I
(10:41):
don't actually think any of it'spositive or negative, it's just
helps us be more effective orless effective, right, right,
and that is our unique flavor,our unique perspective on the
world, which gives us the uniquegifts, talents, skills,
abilities that we bring toeverything we do.
So that's why it's reallyimportant to me to know what
(11:02):
that is, to lift those anchorsso that we're free to sail
forward to what we want tocreate more of.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And I definitely had a core negative story I told
myself.
I didn't understand it, though,or recognize it until I was in
my late 40s, and that was Ithought I was adopted.
That's a story in itself, andtherefore and I knew it was
absurd, but I carried that withme to where I didn't feel like I
(11:28):
belonged.
I didn't feel like I was partof a team.
If I'm not part of my family, Ijust never felt like I fit.
What do you say to individualswho might even be listening and
watching, who are sitting theregoing?
Well, I don't have anythingthat is causing negativity or
(11:48):
positivity in my life.
I don't have anything specificthat I can identify.
What do you say to them or howdo you help?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
them.
Okay.
Well, I'm not sure if I'mallowed to swear on here, but I
would say, yes, you do have.
What you may not know is, youmay not be aware of, and you may
not have it articulated oridentified, because sometimes
it's just too close, it's righton the end of our nose.
But we've all gone throughstuff that we make up meaning
(12:17):
about.
Human beings are meaning-makingmachines, so we apply meaning
to everything and sometimes thatmeaning helps us and sometimes
it doesn't.
So part of it is getting somehelp with pulling it back so
that you can look at the storythat's on the end of your nose
and making a decision.
Is that true?
Just because it's always beentrue in my head?
(12:38):
And, by the way, just becausethe voice is in your head
doesn't mean it's your voiceCould be a parent, could be
someone from the past.
Your head doesn't mean it'syour voice Could be a parent,
could be someone from the past.
And so, really taking a look at, does this help me be who I
want to be or not?
And if not, then what am Igoing to do about it?
And if so, how do I capitalizeon it?
How do I grow that strength?
(12:59):
It's really about efficacy.
It's really about taking a look, and sometimes we need help
with that.
So it might be therapists, itmight be a coach, it might be
doing some personal developmentwork.
There's books that can help,but most often it's in the
listening of someone who'sskilled at hearing longing,
who's skilled at hearing thestories and can hold a space for
(13:23):
you of that's not the truth ofyou.
That's a story and let's writea new story.
Most of the work that I do isthat is listening for the why
and the longing, and so when youcan find someone who can help
you with that, it helps not onlyclarify purpose and therefore
direction, but also what.
What are the stories that areholding me back and how do I
(13:45):
rewrite those?
Because you get to tell, youget to be the ones who tell us
the stories.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That's beautiful.
And, yes, we all have junk, asmuch as we have, where I call
them warts and beauty marks, youknow, and you know identifying
those warts, healing from them.
So that's fabulous.
Let's now take this into moreof a work environment, and even
(14:15):
when it comes to identifyingthat why, you mentioned a couple
of things when it comes tothey're asking for a raise or
making a presentation, but whatis the significance of
understanding one's personal why, which often people think is
outside the workplace, insidethe workplace, in order for it
to benefit them and help themrise?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I'm going to answer that on a bunch of different
levels.
So one is when we have why orsense of purpose or meaning we
are happier, healthier humanbeings at all ages, especially
as we get older, reallyimportant for our psychological,
spiritual, mental well-being.
Secondly, I think it reallydoes help us define fit in a
(15:00):
situation or an environment.
It could be that your values,your purpose, your inner things
that are important to you aren'tin alignment with the
organization that you're with,the situation that you're with.
It doesn't necessarily mean youhave to leave.
It just means that you're goingto be in a situation where
you're constantly kind ofpulling against that structure
(15:21):
and that's not necessarilyinvigorating or supportive.
And so you may want to considerdo you want to start looking
where there is more alignment?
Another thing to do is to beable to use it practically.
Like I mentioned before, weenroll people in ideas if we're
smart, and whether you call itselling or enrollment or sharing
(15:44):
a vision there's a bunch ofdifferent things but whether
you're trying to get people onyour team at work to do things
with you in a certain way, youwant your boss to do something
differently, you want to getresources or, like I said, a
raise or a promotion, right?
Or you want to enroll, you know, your partner in cleaning up
around the house or your kids inworking harder at school.
(16:06):
All of those enrollmentconversations need to come from
a perspective of here's why thismatters to me, here's why I
think it might matter to you, sothat you're coming together on
the motivation that really movesus, which is our why, what of
it?
Not the how of it, because noone cares about that, but why,
(16:28):
and here's what I think thiscould look like Are you willing?
A lot of times, and especially Ithink this is more so women
than men we fail to do the laststep.
We fail to ask for theagreement and the enrollment in
the vision.
We'll put it out there andwe'll hope that they'll pick it
up and run with it.
(16:48):
We'll hint, we'll tip, we'll.
You know, we'll do all of thatkind of thing, but we won't
actually say here's what I want.
Are you willing to do this inthis way by this time?
Right, get clear and explicitagreement.
Yes first enroll in the commonwhy.
So that's one way to use yourwhy, or the why of the project,
(17:09):
the why of the thing.
Now, the other way to use yourwhy is when you're presenting
yourself, whether it's like at anetworking situation, perhaps
your speak as part of yourcareer, or even doing
presentations you can use yourwhy I call it your Genesis story
(17:31):
as a way for people to get toknow you, as a way for you to
set the groundwork for yourpoints.
You're going to make my Heidistory.
The book that I really wantedis a Genesis story that I use
when I'm doing speeches.
I use when I'm doing speeches,I use when I'm networking.
I can tell it in two sentencesand I can tell it in 15 minutes,
and I use it depending becauseit's different.
(17:53):
It's something that will cutthrough the noise.
It lets people know who you are, it lets them know what you
care about and they, and itinstantly creates more rapport
than starting.
Something like when someone saysto you at a networking event,
what do you do?
Oh, I'm a corporate controller,or I'm a speaker and an author.
(18:14):
No one cares For the love ofGod.
That's not what they're asking.
You Answer the question they'reasking, which is what does what
you do do for me?
That's what they want to know.
Yeah, what does what you do dofor me?
Never, ever, ever again answerthe question what do you do?
Because no one cares.
(18:35):
They care about why you do it,and so, when you answer, let me
tell you know like you can askyour question about it, or you
can, which is a great way to isto ask questions instead, or to
use a stat or a fact, butanything that cuts through the
noise and has people glaze overrather than saying what you do.
(18:55):
You can use a genesis story asa way to create that kind of
instant rapport, let people knowwho you are, give them a sense
of flavor and introduce what youcare about.
And so, as you can see on thescreen here, I have a gift for
you that we normally will talkabout later, but basically it's
(19:16):
a complimentary training thathelps you craft your Genesis
story.
You can use it, like I said, ina variety of ways have it on
your bio, put it in your CV, putit on your About Us page.
If you've got a website,there's so many ways that you
can use it, but it lets peopleknow who you are versus what you
do and how you do it.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And what you stand for and what's important to you
and what and how can they helpyou?
And we'll add a how in there,how they can support you in
achieving that.
Why correct, yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
And especially now, bernadette, we long for
connection.
There's an epidemic ofloneliness right now, and even
in places where people areworking, in busy workplaces and
so forth, one in four and Iactually just saw a stat that
said one in three peoplestruggle with mental health
(20:09):
issues related to loneliness.
And it doesn't matter if you'resurrounded by people, you can
still be lonely, in fact,sometimes lonelier, and so
people may think but my, why ispersonal?
This is business.
That's too you know, that's toopersonal.
I shouldn't be using that.
I got to tell you.
I got a completely oppositeperspective.
We need to connect human beingto human being and get real
(20:33):
about the fact that this wholehuman being is dealing with that
whole human being, with all ofyour shadow and light and my BS
and my stories and my brillianceand light and my BS and my
stories and my brilliance.
And when we get real like that,oh, we can make so much more
(20:54):
progress, we can get so muchfurther.
And, yes, not every environmentsupports that.
The world needs it.
So I encourage you to be thesource of that.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
It's a very sound and popular sales technique too is
to understand their wine Like.
What's their agenda?
What's this individual'smotivation?
You know to get really close tothem as far as what's going to
emotionally move them to then dobusiness with you.
Well, to your point, it's nodifferent when you're in the
(21:23):
work environment, you know,trying to engage your team,
trying to influence a proposalor a business case to a boss,
trying to make a presentation toa board.
Would you agree with that?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
And the more that you can engage people and get them
to drop out of their head intotheir heart, the faster you're
going to actually make progresswhen it does come to what you
care about, why and and what youwant to engage them with.
People buy based on emotion andjustify with logic, and I don't
care if that's buying a car,buying, you know, a dress, or
(22:00):
buying your idea or proposal.
It's the same thing.
So it's really very logical touse your why, to use that
personal approach and purpose toone deepen the conversation
immediately.
Two, to stand out as a resultof that.
Three, to reach out and engagehuman being to human being,
(22:22):
which fast tracks in most cases.
There are environments wherethat's not okay, but not many
these days, right, and thereshouldn't be, in my estimation,
if I can shit all over the world.
And so it fast tracks gettingto that real conversation and
(22:43):
that's going to engender morelight and loyalty.
It speeds up the no like trustfactors.
There's a lot of benefits to it,not the least of which is we
don't have to wear masks.
We've been taught to show upwith our professional mask and,
to you know, never cry in theboardroom and other nonsense
like that that's hurt us.
(23:04):
It's hurt us a lot, and Iespecially women, I gotta say,
because we well both men andwomen, I think really struggle
with what's okay, right, withboth in from the over, in my
estimation over politicalcorrectness and the fear that
create that it's created, butalso just in the whole notion
that I have to wear a mask or afacade and be a certain way to
(23:28):
be okay.
That approval issues zaps us ofso much of our ability to
really truly contribute and makea difference.
I think approval is the worstissue in the universe.
It makes us twist ourselvesinside out.
It gets in the way of ourcareer, of our joy, of our
parents.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What do you do when you come up against some
individuals that are ready to gointo battle as opposed to
letting their guards down andshowing their true self?
It depends.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And the reason it depends is because of a whole
bunch of factors, right?
What's the relationship?
Are you subordinate, are youtheir boss, et cetera, et cetera
.
There is a quote that I oftenlive by or remind myself of that
or not a quote, but an adagethat when two wolves are
fighting, if one wolf rolls overand exposes its throat and is
(24:23):
vulnerable, the other wolf willstand down.
I have found quite often insituations where there is a
whole bunch of alpha stuff goingon, that if I expose my
vulnerability, other people willde-escalate the aggression.
Now, not always, and sometimesthat can work against you,
(24:45):
particularly if you've got a lotof gender politics going on in
your workplace, right?
So you take that with a grainof salt, but keep in mind that
there are times where that isthe case, and often in
interpersonal connections.
Whether it's your primaryrelationship or one-on-one with
people, that's often the case.
Relationship or one-on-one withpeople, that's often the case.
(25:08):
So that's one answer to that.
The other answer to that is toone of the questions I like to
ask in general in my life, tokeep me grounded in who I want
to be, because I can't changethat, but I can maintain this is
a question that might seemcounterintuitive to a lot of
people in terms of an answerabout how to be in corporate,
(25:28):
and that is what would love donow.
What would love do now gets meto think of who do I want to be
and how do I contribute to thisin a way that's going to be
generative, positive, supportiveas much as possible, because
that can take me out of my ownreactions and triggerings and so
(25:49):
forth.
Okay, so that's another thing.
The other thing that I wouldsay is to really just assess.
You want to check.
Am I safe?
If you're not safe, then it'snot always wise to de-armor, but
if you're in situationsconstantly where you have to
wear armor, you got to askyourself is this how I want to
spend my next 10, 20, 30 yearsor even one more minute?
(26:13):
Seriously, we only have oneprecious life.
We never know when it's goingto end.
Why spend it being defensivewhen what you can do is spend it
sharing your gifts, your joy,who you are and having more to
follow in the journey?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Every day is a joy, but for the love of God, we
don't have time to waste onbeing in toxic environments.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, we do not.
No, we do not.
Someone identifies their why.
They're feeling really good andenergetic and confident because
now they can make decisionsfaster, they can really know
what you know they're going toenjoy and what they're not going
to enjoy.
How does one go about, then,when they're not necessarily
(26:59):
storytellers, because that'swhat I'm told a lot from my
clients is I'm not a storyteller, because that's what I'm told a
lot from my clients is I'm nota storyteller.
How can they go about becominga storyteller to make all of
that rich information they justlearned about themselves
powerful?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
So one, it's a valuable skill.
It is part of our humanity.
From time immemorial, peoplesat around fires and told
stories as a way to maintainconnection, culture and to move
things forward, to teach, toeducate, and so I think it's a
valuable skill.
So that's one thing I would sayis learn.
Two, if you're not a goodstoryteller, then part of the
(27:39):
thing that I would encourage isand, by the way, stories don't
have to only be personal I tellstories about the benefits of
what to do, why to do thisstrategy, and what's in it for
the boss in terms of retention.
And wouldn't it be nice if youwere in a situation where you
weren't lying awake, wonderingwhether or not your staff was
going to show up tomorrow and dowhat you hope they were doing.
(28:00):
That's a story.
How paint a picture If you'renot thinking of it as a story?
Paint a picture, describesomething that you want.
Focus on the benefits versus thefeatures of whatever you're
discussing.
So the benefits are what's init for them versus the features.
Now that you know, if you're asalesperson listening you've
(28:21):
heard that a million times I canpretty much guarantee that you
still talk about features allthe time, because that's what we
do.
I guarantee if I go to yourwebsite, it's all features-based
, not benefit.
But the more you talk about andlearn how to get good at
talking about benefits versusfeatures, even if you're not
using them in stories, even ifyou're just using it in your
(28:42):
presentations or how you talk topeople about your project or
the work you've done, you'regoing to be further ahead
because you're speaking intotheir listening of what they
care about, which is what's init for me.
So, even if you can't tell astory, shift to talking about
benefits.
That will help you be a bettercommunicator and a better
influencer in terms of gettingwhat you want.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, because a lot of so-called leaders out there
yeah, they are still focused,very much so on the how.
How are you going to get itdone?
You know, how are you going toactually do it?
How is it going to, yes, impactme, but more so based on the
how.
And then to your point.
(29:27):
What you want to talk about iswhat is this going to do to our
employees?
What is it going to do for ouremployees?
What is it going to do for ourclients?
How is it going to change theirlives?
How is it going to change ourbusiness?
Correct?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Well, and really that comes down to why does this
matter?
And the more you know.
Simon Sinek has a brilliantspeaking of leaders TED Talk on
leadership probably one of themost watched in the world and
it's on leadership, but it'sactually the 17 best minutes on
marketing that you could everwatch and he talks about the
golden circle of why, how andwhat.
(30:00):
And really what that goes fromis motivation benefits feature.
It correlates a lot in a lot ofdifferent ways, but if you
aspire to be a leader and Idon't care if you're, you know,
the secretary or thereceptionist or whatever you're
a leader If you take on thatrole, position, then coming from
why deepens the conversation.
(30:21):
But it also deepens yourmotivation and the engagement
and is more effective inconnecting with people and
recognize that the old notion oflet's focus on the what and or
the how doesn't create inspiredworkplaces.
If you look at the companiesthat have been very accessible
(30:44):
risen, you know, etc.
Apple has a clear culture and aclear why.
Right, we are.
The are the weird ones or theunusual ones.
That's their culture.
If you look at any organizationhighly successful, they have a
strong why and that's why peoplestay.
That's why their culture works.
(31:05):
Yes, they attend to the howsand the whats.
But if you look at anyorganization that doesn't have a
strong, clearly articulated botinto why, I can guarantee you
they have more turnover.
I guarantee you they have aless functional and productive
workplace.
It's proven scientifically.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I will make sure everyone that I find that Simon
Sinek video.
I will post the link in withour show notes, as well as on
our social posts.
So thank you for that, becausethat's a great resource for any
professional, whether you're amanager, you're a high potential
(31:44):
or you're a leader.
So, jeanette, what would yousay, now that people understand
asking themselves about theirwhy is important and how to go
about doing it and what theimpact is to themselves and
those around them what would bethe number one thing you would
(32:04):
suggest that they do?
Walking away from thisdiscussion, oh, that's a tough
one.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Okay, I thought you were going to say to determine
their why.
So one is get some help withdetermining your why, because
it's often very challenging todo on our own.
Like I said, it's, you know,the hand on the end of our nose,
so get some support with that.
The second thing that I wouldsay is what's really beneficial
in our lives is to pause once ina while, pull up and to create
(32:34):
a vivid vision of who we want tobe, what we want to do and what
we want to have in the future.
And especially because you knowwe're kind of getting close to
the end of the year, beginningof the new year, et cetera.
Often people think of doing itat that time, but I think you do
it every weekend, if you want.
But really to pause and thinkwho do I want to be in the world
(32:58):
, and to then craft that visionvividly, viscerally, write out
everything as if it is exactlythe way you want, and then start
working towards creating that.
And then start working towardscreating that.
We only live life by designwhen we get intentional about
creating that rather than byliving by default, and I don't
(33:21):
care if you're an entrepreneur,unemployed, in distress or on
top of the world.
It serves us to choose and tochoose again, and to choose
again, and to get in thedriver's seat of our lives,
because yet we can truly be thedifference that only we can be
in the world.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And I want to add, not only living by default, but
also living by someone else'sgoal, someone else's desires as
opposed to your own.
Yes, exactly.
Love that.
Jeanette, this has beenfabulous.
Thank you so much.
And I do want to remindeveryone please go out to
maturepreneurworld to learn moreabout what Jeanette is doing
(34:05):
and how to go about engagingwith her.
Follow her on Facebook atMaturepreneur World and also
where she mentioned her GenesisStory training.
You can go to bodacitycaforward slash Genesis dash story
.
That's bodacityca forward slashGenesis dash story.
(34:28):
We will have all of these linksand ways that you can reach
Jeanette with the show notes andwith all of our social posts.
Jeanette, thank you so much.
This has been fabulous, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Bernadette, and I love that you are a stand for
having really honestconversations around how do we
create workplaces that work, howdo we tell the truth around
what could be and what we want,and that you're a real stand for
people being able to createhappy, healthy lives.
(34:59):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Thank you.
Thank you.
What a powerhouse of aconversation with Jeanette
Anderson of Maturepreneur Worldall around your why.
Do you know what it is?
And if you don't, that's okay.
Do you have clarity around howto go about identifying it for
yourself?
Looking, as she said, in themirror to really understand who
(35:24):
you are and what you stand for?
I know I do even more so,regardless of the fact that I've
worked on my why probably forthe last 15 years, I got new
understanding and even new tipsand strategies for going about
redefining and ensuring that itstill stands up today.
(35:44):
I hope you got that sameclarity and understanding and
you were able to walk away withreally seeing your why as that
healing converging with yourpurpose.
That in itself was verytransformative for me is
understanding that your why isan integration of both healing
(36:09):
and your purpose, your futurepurpose, what you stand for now.
So I am thrilled that Jeanettewas here to share all of that
with us.
I would love your thoughtsaround today's conversation.
You can always link in with meat BernadetteBose and send me a
DM and if there's any questionsthat you have for Jeanette, I'll
(36:30):
make sure we get them over toher At the same time.
If you are in any way, shape orform, just try to figure out
how to be the best powerhouse,leader and most effective for
your team, your business andyourself, then be sure to reach
out to me and let's have aconversation Complimentary, 30
minutes where I can share tipsand strategies and maybe provide
(36:53):
you some next steps you can betaken.
So you are that powerhouse, sogo to coachmebernadettecom.
Forward slash discovery calland let's have a conversation.
Lastly, if you've missed any ofour episodes, you can always go
to ballofirecoachingcom.
Forward slash podcast andyou'll find them all there.
Thank you for being part ofthis episode and I'll look
(37:15):
forward to having you foranother episode of shedding the
corporate bitch.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of shedding
the corporate bitch.
Every journey taken together isanother step towards unleashing
the powerhouse leader withinyou.
Don't miss any of our weeklyepisodes.
Subscribe to our podcast onApple Podcasts, spotify or
wherever you love to listen.
And for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(37:41):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
Do you know what makes you stand out amongst
everyone else around you?
Can you share it with others ina powerful and compelling way
that helps you achieve yourcareer and personal goals?
Our guest, Jeanette Anderson ofMaturepreneur World, is known
as the why Whisperer and issharing her transformative tips
(00:21):
and process to help you captureand convey your story, to create
clarity, advocacy anddifferentiation.
You'll hear tips and storiesaround why this question is so
critical for you to be able toanswer and three ways to gain
clarity around your why and,lastly, how to use that clarity
(00:43):
in your attraction andpersuasion efforts.
You will walk away withexcitement, energy and
confidence that you can standout in any room and achieve your
business and personal goals.
So stay with us.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
(01:19):
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Janette, how are you Welcome?
Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Hello, I am awesome and I'm awesomely grateful to be
here, Bernadette.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'm thrilled that you're here as well, and I'm
very excited to talk about thissubject, and more so about how
you are a why whisperer, and wewill get into that.
But before we do, I love ourlisteners and viewers to get to
know the individuals that we'retalking to, so could you share
with us a little bit aboutJeanette?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Okay.
Well, there's a bunch of thingsthat I could tell you, but I
think I came out of the wombentrepreneurial.
I'm pretty sure I was carryinga briefcase, which my mother did
not appreciate.
I had my very first businesswhen I was five, because I
wanted to get the book, heidi,and we were poor.
My mom yelled at me and said no, can't afford it.
And I had heard that a lotgrowing up, bernadette, so it
(02:34):
didn't really surprise me.
But the thing about kids is wedon't complicate things like we
do when we get older.
And so I thought no money, getmoney Easy, right Solution.
So how do I get money?
Well, I had seen someone in ourhousing tenement have a garage
sale a little while before.
So I thought, okay, I'll have abusiness and I'll get money,
(02:54):
and then I can get the book Easy.
So one day, when mom was atwork I'm sure someone was
supposed to be watching me I wasfive, yeah, five, and I hauled
everything I could carry out ofthe house small knickknacks and,
and you know, little appliancesand light toys, and my mom's
brand new pink wool dress andbrand new still had the tag on
(03:16):
it and I priced everythingbecause, like I said, I was very
entrepreneurial.
I could count Lenny before Icould talk almost, and I priced
everything and I had a verysuccessful venture I remember to
this day.
I can't tell you what.
I had for lunch yesterday, but Ican tell you I made $13.72 that
day.
Nice Came home, I ran up to herand I said look, look, we're
(03:37):
not money now.
Can we get the book right?
Problem solution.
She didn't quite see it thatway, bernadette.
She's not at all impressed likeI thought she should be.
I got spanked because I soldall of her stuff and she took my
money.
I didn't get the book and I hadto go back and buy everything
back and fortunately the adultssold me back the stuff, but the
(03:59):
kids didn't sell me back my toys, so I lost most of my toys.
So many people would say thatwasn't a very successful first
step here, but I tell you Ithink it was, because I learned
three really important things.
One was to go into businesswith family I'm kidding, but not
really.
The second thing was that wecan be resourceful and find
(04:23):
solutions to our desires, ourdreams, our wishes, if we just
get really practical about it.
And, whether you create a sidehustle or you do it through your
job or you do it with abusiness, however you do it,
that our ingenuity can solve theproblems, to create us having
what we want to be, do and have.
(04:44):
And the third thing that Ilearned is I remember distinctly
when my mom said, no, we can'tafford it.
I remember the look of shame andanger and frustration and
sadness on her face and Iremember deciding, even though I
was only five at that moment,that I never wanted to see that
look on another person's basenot hers, not mine, not anyone
(05:06):
else's and that became thesource of my why was to support
people in creating their yeslives instead of no lives.
And and underneath that wasthat that I wanted people to get
that they mattered and theydeserved to have a yes life.
And why?
(05:27):
Well, because I always wantedto matter.
I wanted to get on the list.
Growing up, I wasn't so much onthe list, everything else came
first.
And so that became my why andhas underlined everything, or
underlined everything that I'vedone since then Personal
development, facilitation ofpersonal growth, courses, or
(05:48):
helping entrepreneurs grow theirbusiness, or lecturing and
teaching in corporate whateverit is that I've done.
Underlying all of that is thatI want you to get that you
matter and live like you do sothat you have a yes life.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Beautiful.
That's awesome and a greatsegue and I love that childhood
story.
That is fabulous.
That's a great segue into ourconversation about standing out
and really rising as a result ofknowing your why.
We've talked about it on thisprogram before.
However, we have more and moreand more listeners and viewers
(06:26):
and I'm sure not everyone isreally understanding what we're
talking about when we say knowyour why, and so can you explain
that for them?
And then we'll get into somedeeper conversations about how
to go about identifying it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Right, and I'm going to tell you a definition that
other people don't have, and soit's a different perspective.
I believe your why is theintersection of what you're
healing from the past and whatyou long for for the future, for
yourself and others.
So what you're healing from thepast and what you long for for
yourself and others for thefuture, and I think our why is a
(07:05):
thread that weaves through thetapestry of our lives.
It doesn't change, it'sconsistent.
You can call it what we'reinvestigating for the universe,
purpose, whatever.
I think the words purpose andmission are often laden and
overused, and so that's why Ireally like to call it your why,
why you do what you do.
It doesn't change.
(07:25):
Now, your stand, how you expressand live into your why.
That changes consistentlythroughout our life.
We show up and live into ourwhy in a variety of different
ways and roles and differentexpressions, but the why is
consistent.
So that's what I call it, and Ithink it's super important to
know what your why is, becauseit gets us out of bed in the
(07:48):
morning, differentiates us,whether that's in the
marketplace or in the workplace,it helps us to stand out, it
helps us to enroll people inwhatever it is.
That is our vision, our work orwhatever we're doing, because
people buy.
Why you do what you do, notwhat you do or what you're
(08:09):
selling.
Yes, that's my friend of themind, Simon Sinek.
He's got a great book on StartWith why I think it should
incorporate.
It works in entrepreneurship,it works in your family, it
works everywhere.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Let me ask you a question first, before we go
further into the.
Why is you mentioned that it'sa both healing and you know what
you want and what you want forothers?
What is it about the healingpart that's in this definition
of?
Why does someone have to havehealing in or you know, or is it
(08:42):
learning and growing, but canyou explain the healing part of
it?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Sure, yeah, great question.
I believe that all of us, atsome point in our childhood, had
something that became what Icall a core negative belief, a
belief that we carry forward andthat directs a lot of what we
do or don't do in the world, howwe show up.
It's inevitable, it's part ofbeing human and it's something
(09:10):
that, if we don't get it healed,it's kind of the end of the
thread and a lot of things thatdon't work in our lives.
So, whether you know, you'vegot some belief around.
Not enough, I'm good enough,smart enough, whatever.
Whatever that core wound is, itshows up.
It stops you from getting araise at work, it stops you from
going after that person thatyou really want to have a date
with, it stops you from beingwho you want to be in the world.
(09:33):
And so until we get thathandled, until we get that
conscious and aware and healingon that, it's going to continue
to be the thing that underminesa lot of our success.
But it's also the thing that Ithink really creates the frame
that we looked at the worldthrough, and so when we reframe
(09:54):
that, we tell better stories,because it's basically a story
we made up of ourselves in theworld at some point, based on
that thing, so you know, minewas I didn't matter point.
Based on that thing, so you know, mine was I didn't matter, okay
, and came about through avariety of different things and
experiences.
Well, if I carry I don't matterinto the world, it's going to
impact everything and has anddoes, until that gets remedied
(10:18):
or a new story gets written.
So that's super important.
And there isn't a human beingalive that doesn't have some
version of that going or running, that core negative belief, and
and it it gives us our flavor.
I call it our note in the choirthe combination of that which
we grew up with, both positiveand negative, and you know, I
(10:41):
don't actually think any of it'spositive or negative, it's just
helps us be more effective orless effective, right, right,
and that is our unique flavor,our unique perspective on the
world, which gives us the uniquegifts, talents, skills,
abilities that we bring toeverything we do.
So that's why it's reallyimportant to me to know what
(11:02):
that is, to lift those anchorsso that we're free to sail
forward to what we want tocreate more of.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And I definitely had a core negative story I told
myself.
I didn't understand it, though,or recognize it until I was in
my late 40s, and that was Ithought I was adopted.
That's a story in itself, andtherefore and I knew it was
absurd, but I carried that withme to where I didn't feel like I
(11:28):
belonged.
I didn't feel like I was partof a team.
If I'm not part of my family, Ijust never felt like I fit.
What do you say to individualswho might even be listening and
watching, who are sitting theregoing?
Well, I don't have anythingthat is causing negativity or
(11:48):
positivity in my life.
I don't have anything specificthat I can identify.
What do you say to them or howdo you help?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
them.
Okay.
Well, I'm not sure if I'mallowed to swear on here, but I
would say, yes, you do have.
What you may not know is, youmay not be aware of, and you may
not have it articulated oridentified, because sometimes
it's just too close, it's righton the end of our nose.
But we've all gone throughstuff that we make up meaning
(12:17):
about.
Human beings are meaning-makingmachines, so we apply meaning
to everything and sometimes thatmeaning helps us and sometimes
it doesn't.
So part of it is getting somehelp with pulling it back so
that you can look at the storythat's on the end of your nose
and making a decision.
Is that true?
Just because it's always beentrue in my head?
(12:38):
And, by the way, just becausethe voice is in your head
doesn't mean it's your voiceCould be a parent, could be
someone from the past.
Your head doesn't mean it'syour voice Could be a parent,
could be someone from the past.
And so, really taking a look at, does this help me be who I
want to be or not?
And if not, then what am Igoing to do about it?
And if so, how do I capitalizeon it?
How do I grow that strength?
(12:59):
It's really about efficacy.
It's really about taking a look, and sometimes we need help
with that.
So it might be therapists, itmight be a coach, it might be
doing some personal developmentwork.
There's books that can help,but most often it's in the
listening of someone who'sskilled at hearing longing,
who's skilled at hearing thestories and can hold a space for
(13:23):
you of that's not the truth ofyou.
That's a story and let's writea new story.
Most of the work that I do isthat is listening for the why
and the longing, and so when youcan find someone who can help
you with that, it helps not onlyclarify purpose and therefore
direction, but also what.
What are the stories that areholding me back and how do I
(13:45):
rewrite those?
Because you get to tell, youget to be the ones who tell us
the stories.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That's beautiful.
And, yes, we all have junk, asmuch as we have, where I call
them warts and beauty marks, youknow, and you know identifying
those warts, healing from them.
So that's fabulous.
Let's now take this into moreof a work environment, and even
(14:15):
when it comes to identifyingthat why, you mentioned a couple
of things when it comes tothey're asking for a raise or
making a presentation, but whatis the significance of
understanding one's personal why, which often people think is
outside the workplace, insidethe workplace, in order for it
to benefit them and help themrise?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I'm going to answer that on a bunch of different
levels.
So one is when we have why orsense of purpose or meaning we
are happier, healthier humanbeings at all ages, especially
as we get older, reallyimportant for our psychological,
spiritual, mental well-being.
Secondly, I think it reallydoes help us define fit in a
(15:00):
situation or an environment.
It could be that your values,your purpose, your inner things
that are important to you aren'tin alignment with the
organization that you're with,the situation that you're with.
It doesn't necessarily mean youhave to leave.
It just means that you're goingto be in a situation where
you're constantly kind ofpulling against that structure
(15:21):
and that's not necessarilyinvigorating or supportive.
And so you may want to considerdo you want to start looking
where there is more alignment?
Another thing to do is to beable to use it practically.
Like I mentioned before, weenroll people in ideas if we're
smart, and whether you call itselling or enrollment or sharing
(15:44):
a vision there's a bunch ofdifferent things but whether
you're trying to get people onyour team at work to do things
with you in a certain way, youwant your boss to do something
differently, you want to getresources or, like I said, a
raise or a promotion, right?
Or you want to enroll, you know, your partner in cleaning up
around the house or your kids inworking harder at school.
(16:06):
All of those enrollmentconversations need to come from
a perspective of here's why thismatters to me, here's why I
think it might matter to you, sothat you're coming together on
the motivation that really movesus, which is our why, what of
it?
Not the how of it, because noone cares about that, but why,
(16:28):
and here's what I think thiscould look like Are you willing?
A lot of times, and especially Ithink this is more so women
than men we fail to do the laststep.
We fail to ask for theagreement and the enrollment in
the vision.
We'll put it out there andwe'll hope that they'll pick it
up and run with it.
(16:48):
We'll hint, we'll tip, we'll.
You know, we'll do all of thatkind of thing, but we won't
actually say here's what I want.
Are you willing to do this inthis way by this time?
Right, get clear and explicitagreement.
Yes first enroll in the commonwhy.
So that's one way to use yourwhy, or the why of the project,
(17:09):
the why of the thing.
Now, the other way to use yourwhy is when you're presenting
yourself, whether it's like at anetworking situation, perhaps
your speak as part of yourcareer, or even doing
presentations you can use yourwhy I call it your Genesis story
(17:31):
as a way for people to get toknow you, as a way for you to
set the groundwork for yourpoints.
You're going to make my Heidistory.
The book that I really wantedis a Genesis story that I use
when I'm doing speeches.
I use when I'm doing speeches,I use when I'm networking.
I can tell it in two sentencesand I can tell it in 15 minutes,
and I use it depending becauseit's different.
(17:53):
It's something that will cutthrough the noise.
It lets people know who you are, it lets them know what you
care about and they, and itinstantly creates more rapport
than starting.
Something like when someone saysto you at a networking event,
what do you do?
Oh, I'm a corporate controller,or I'm a speaker and an author.
(18:14):
No one cares For the love ofGod.
That's not what they're asking.
You Answer the question they'reasking, which is what does what
you do do for me?
That's what they want to know.
Yeah, what does what you do dofor me?
Never, ever, ever again answerthe question what do you do?
Because no one cares.
(18:35):
They care about why you do it,and so, when you answer, let me
tell you know like you can askyour question about it, or you
can, which is a great way to isto ask questions instead, or to
use a stat or a fact, butanything that cuts through the
noise and has people glaze overrather than saying what you do.
(18:55):
You can use a genesis story asa way to create that kind of
instant rapport, let people knowwho you are, give them a sense
of flavor and introduce what youcare about.
And so, as you can see on thescreen here, I have a gift for
you that we normally will talkabout later, but basically it's
(19:16):
a complimentary training thathelps you craft your Genesis
story.
You can use it, like I said, ina variety of ways have it on
your bio, put it in your CV, putit on your About Us page.
If you've got a website,there's so many ways that you
can use it, but it lets peopleknow who you are versus what you
do and how you do it.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And what you stand for and what's important to you
and what and how can they helpyou?
And we'll add a how in there,how they can support you in
achieving that.
Why correct, yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
And especially now, bernadette, we long for
connection.
There's an epidemic ofloneliness right now, and even
in places where people areworking, in busy workplaces and
so forth, one in four and Iactually just saw a stat that
said one in three peoplestruggle with mental health
(20:09):
issues related to loneliness.
And it doesn't matter if you'resurrounded by people, you can
still be lonely, in fact,sometimes lonelier, and so
people may think but my, why ispersonal?
This is business.
That's too you know, that's toopersonal.
I shouldn't be using that.
I got to tell you.
I got a completely oppositeperspective.
We need to connect human beingto human being and get real
(20:33):
about the fact that this wholehuman being is dealing with that
whole human being, with all ofyour shadow and light and my BS
and my stories and my brillianceand light and my BS and my
stories and my brilliance.
And when we get real like that,oh, we can make so much more
(20:54):
progress, we can get so muchfurther.
And, yes, not every environmentsupports that.
The world needs it.
So I encourage you to be thesource of that.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
It's a very sound and popular sales technique too is
to understand their wine Like.
What's their agenda?
What's this individual'smotivation?
You know to get really close tothem as far as what's going to
emotionally move them to then dobusiness with you.
Well, to your point, it's nodifferent when you're in the
(21:23):
work environment, you know,trying to engage your team,
trying to influence a proposalor a business case to a boss,
trying to make a presentation toa board.
Would you agree with that?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
And the more that you can engage people and get them
to drop out of their head intotheir heart, the faster you're
going to actually make progresswhen it does come to what you
care about, why and and what youwant to engage them with.
People buy based on emotion andjustify with logic, and I don't
care if that's buying a car,buying, you know, a dress, or
(22:00):
buying your idea or proposal.
It's the same thing.
So it's really very logical touse your why, to use that
personal approach and purpose toone deepen the conversation
immediately.
Two, to stand out as a resultof that.
Three, to reach out and engagehuman being to human being,
(22:22):
which fast tracks in most cases.
There are environments wherethat's not okay, but not many
these days, right, and thereshouldn't be, in my estimation,
if I can shit all over the world.
And so it fast tracks gettingto that real conversation and
(22:43):
that's going to engender morelight and loyalty.
It speeds up the no like trustfactors.
There's a lot of benefits to it,not the least of which is we
don't have to wear masks.
We've been taught to show upwith our professional mask and,
to you know, never cry in theboardroom and other nonsense
like that that's hurt us.
(23:04):
It's hurt us a lot, and Iespecially women, I gotta say,
because we well both men andwomen, I think really struggle
with what's okay, right, withboth in from the over, in my
estimation over politicalcorrectness and the fear that
create that it's created, butalso just in the whole notion
that I have to wear a mask or afacade and be a certain way to
(23:28):
be okay.
That approval issues zaps us ofso much of our ability to
really truly contribute and makea difference.
I think approval is the worstissue in the universe.
It makes us twist ourselvesinside out.
It gets in the way of ourcareer, of our joy, of our
parents.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
What do you do when you come up against some
individuals that are ready to gointo battle as opposed to
letting their guards down andshowing their true self?
It depends.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And the reason it depends is because of a whole
bunch of factors, right?
What's the relationship?
Are you subordinate, are youtheir boss, et cetera, et cetera
.
There is a quote that I oftenlive by or remind myself of that
or not a quote, but an adagethat when two wolves are
fighting, if one wolf rolls overand exposes its throat and is
(24:23):
vulnerable, the other wolf willstand down.
I have found quite often insituations where there is a
whole bunch of alpha stuff goingon, that if I expose my
vulnerability, other people willde-escalate the aggression.
Now, not always, and sometimesthat can work against you,
(24:45):
particularly if you've got a lotof gender politics going on in
your workplace, right?
So you take that with a grainof salt, but keep in mind that
there are times where that isthe case, and often in
interpersonal connections.
Whether it's your primaryrelationship or one-on-one with
people, that's often the case.
Relationship or one-on-one withpeople, that's often the case.
(25:08):
So that's one answer to that.
The other answer to that is toone of the questions I like to
ask in general in my life, tokeep me grounded in who I want
to be, because I can't changethat, but I can maintain this is
a question that might seemcounterintuitive to a lot of
people in terms of an answerabout how to be in corporate,
(25:28):
and that is what would love donow.
What would love do now gets meto think of who do I want to be
and how do I contribute to thisin a way that's going to be
generative, positive, supportiveas much as possible, because
that can take me out of my ownreactions and triggerings and so
(25:49):
forth.
Okay, so that's another thing.
The other thing that I wouldsay is to really just assess.
You want to check.
Am I safe?
If you're not safe, then it'snot always wise to de-armor, but
if you're in situationsconstantly where you have to
wear armor, you got to askyourself is this how I want to
spend my next 10, 20, 30 yearsor even one more minute?
(26:13):
Seriously, we only have oneprecious life.
We never know when it's goingto end.
Why spend it being defensivewhen what you can do is spend it
sharing your gifts, your joy,who you are and having more to
follow in the journey?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Every day is a joy, but for the love of God, we
don't have time to waste onbeing in toxic environments.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, we do not.
No, we do not.
Someone identifies their why.
They're feeling really good andenergetic and confident because
now they can make decisionsfaster, they can really know
what you know they're going toenjoy and what they're not going
to enjoy.
How does one go about, then,when they're not necessarily
(26:59):
storytellers, because that'swhat I'm told a lot from my
clients is I'm not a storyteller, because that's what I'm told a
lot from my clients is I'm nota storyteller.
How can they go about becominga storyteller to make all of
that rich information they justlearned about themselves
powerful?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
So one, it's a valuable skill.
It is part of our humanity.
From time immemorial, peoplesat around fires and told
stories as a way to maintainconnection, culture and to move
things forward, to teach, toeducate, and so I think it's a
valuable skill.
So that's one thing I would sayis learn.
Two, if you're not a goodstoryteller, then part of the
(27:39):
thing that I would encourage isand, by the way, stories don't
have to only be personal I tellstories about the benefits of
what to do, why to do thisstrategy, and what's in it for
the boss in terms of retention.
And wouldn't it be nice if youwere in a situation where you
weren't lying awake, wonderingwhether or not your staff was
going to show up tomorrow and dowhat you hope they were doing.
(28:00):
That's a story.
How paint a picture If you'renot thinking of it as a story?
Paint a picture, describesomething that you want.
Focus on the benefits versus thefeatures of whatever you're
discussing.
So the benefits are what's init for them versus the features.
Now that you know, if you're asalesperson listening you've
(28:21):
heard that a million times I canpretty much guarantee that you
still talk about features allthe time, because that's what we
do.
I guarantee if I go to yourwebsite, it's all features-based
, not benefit.
But the more you talk about andlearn how to get good at
talking about benefits versusfeatures, even if you're not
using them in stories, even ifyou're just using it in your
(28:42):
presentations or how you talk topeople about your project or
the work you've done, you'regoing to be further ahead
because you're speaking intotheir listening of what they
care about, which is what's init for me.
So, even if you can't tell astory, shift to talking about
benefits.
That will help you be a bettercommunicator and a better
influencer in terms of gettingwhat you want.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, because a lot of so-called leaders out there
yeah, they are still focused,very much so on the how.
How are you going to get itdone?
You know, how are you going toactually do it?
How is it going to, yes, impactme, but more so based on the
how.
And then to your point.
(29:27):
What you want to talk about iswhat is this going to do to our
employees?
What is it going to do for ouremployees?
What is it going to do for ourclients?
How is it going to change theirlives?
How is it going to change ourbusiness?
Correct?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Well, and really that comes down to why does this
matter?
And the more you know.
Simon Sinek has a brilliantspeaking of leaders TED Talk on
leadership probably one of themost watched in the world and
it's on leadership, but it'sactually the 17 best minutes on
marketing that you could everwatch and he talks about the
golden circle of why, how andwhat.
(30:00):
And really what that goes fromis motivation benefits feature.
It correlates a lot in a lot ofdifferent ways, but if you
aspire to be a leader and Idon't care if you're, you know,
the secretary or thereceptionist or whatever you're
a leader If you take on thatrole, position, then coming from
why deepens the conversation.
(30:21):
But it also deepens yourmotivation and the engagement
and is more effective inconnecting with people and
recognize that the old notion oflet's focus on the what and or
the how doesn't create inspiredworkplaces.
If you look at the companiesthat have been very accessible
(30:44):
risen, you know, etc.
Apple has a clear culture and aclear why.
Right, we are.
The are the weird ones or theunusual ones.
That's their culture.
If you look at any organizationhighly successful, they have a
strong why and that's why peoplestay.
That's why their culture works.
(31:05):
Yes, they attend to the howsand the whats.
But if you look at anyorganization that doesn't have a
strong, clearly articulated botinto why, I can guarantee you
they have more turnover.
I guarantee you they have aless functional and productive
workplace.
It's proven scientifically.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I will make sure everyone that I find that Simon
Sinek video.
I will post the link in withour show notes, as well as on
our social posts.
So thank you for that, becausethat's a great resource for any
professional, whether you're amanager, you're a high potential
(31:44):
or you're a leader.
So, jeanette, what would yousay, now that people understand
asking themselves about theirwhy is important and how to go
about doing it and what theimpact is to themselves and
those around them what would bethe number one thing you would
(32:04):
suggest that they do?
Walking away from thisdiscussion, oh, that's a tough
one.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Okay, I thought you were going to say to determine
their why.
So one is get some help withdetermining your why, because
it's often very challenging todo on our own.
Like I said, it's, you know,the hand on the end of our nose,
so get some support with that.
The second thing that I wouldsay is what's really beneficial
in our lives is to pause once ina while, pull up and to create
(32:34):
a vivid vision of who we want tobe, what we want to do and what
we want to have in the future.
And especially because you knowwe're kind of getting close to
the end of the year, beginningof the new year, et cetera.
Often people think of doing itat that time, but I think you do
it every weekend, if you want.
But really to pause and thinkwho do I want to be in the world
(32:58):
, and to then craft that visionvividly, viscerally, write out
everything as if it is exactlythe way you want, and then start
working towards creating that.
And then start working towardscreating that.
We only live life by designwhen we get intentional about
creating that rather than byliving by default, and I don't
(33:21):
care if you're an entrepreneur,unemployed, in distress or on
top of the world.
It serves us to choose and tochoose again, and to choose
again, and to get in thedriver's seat of our lives,
because yet we can truly be thedifference that only we can be
in the world.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And I want to add, not only living by default, but
also living by someone else'sgoal, someone else's desires as
opposed to your own.
Yes, exactly.
Love that.
Jeanette, this has beenfabulous.
Thank you so much.
And I do want to remindeveryone please go out to
maturepreneurworld to learn moreabout what Jeanette is doing
(34:05):
and how to go about engagingwith her.
Follow her on Facebook atMaturepreneur World and also
where she mentioned her GenesisStory training.
You can go to bodacitycaforward slash Genesis dash story
.
That's bodacityca forward slashGenesis dash story.
(34:28):
We will have all of these linksand ways that you can reach
Jeanette with the show notes andwith all of our social posts.
Jeanette, thank you so much.
This has been fabulous, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Bernadette, and I love that you are a stand for
having really honestconversations around how do we
create workplaces that work, howdo we tell the truth around
what could be and what we want,and that you're a real stand for
people being able to createhappy, healthy lives.
(34:59):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Thank you.
Thank you.
What a powerhouse of aconversation with Jeanette
Anderson of Maturepreneur Worldall around your why.
Do you know what it is?
And if you don't, that's okay.
Do you have clarity around howto go about identifying it for
yourself?
Looking, as she said, in themirror to really understand who
(35:24):
you are and what you stand for?
I know I do even more so,regardless of the fact that I've
worked on my why probably forthe last 15 years, I got new
understanding and even new tipsand strategies for going about
redefining and ensuring that itstill stands up today.
(35:44):
I hope you got that sameclarity and understanding and
you were able to walk away withreally seeing your why as that
healing converging with yourpurpose.
That in itself was verytransformative for me is
understanding that your why isan integration of both healing
(36:09):
and your purpose, your futurepurpose, what you stand for now.
So I am thrilled that Jeanettewas here to share all of that
with us.
I would love your thoughtsaround today's conversation.
You can always link in with meat BernadetteBose and send me a
DM and if there's any questionsthat you have for Jeanette, I'll
(36:30):
make sure we get them over toher At the same time.
If you are in any way, shape orform, just try to figure out
how to be the best powerhouse,leader and most effective for
your team, your business andyourself, then be sure to reach
out to me and let's have aconversation Complimentary, 30
minutes where I can share tipsand strategies and maybe provide
(36:53):
you some next steps you can betaken.
So you are that powerhouse, sogo to coachmebernadettecom.
Forward slash discovery calland let's have a conversation.
Lastly, if you've missed any ofour episodes, you can always go
to ballofirecoachingcom.
Forward slash podcast andyou'll find them all there.
Thank you for being part ofthis episode and I'll look
(37:15):
forward to having you foranother episode of shedding the
corporate bitch.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Thank you for tuning into today's episode of shedding
the corporate bitch.
Every journey taken together isanother step towards unleashing
the powerhouse leader withinyou.
Don't miss any of our weeklyepisodes.
Subscribe to our podcast onApple Podcasts, spotify or
wherever you love to listen.
And for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
(37:41):
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com