May 6, 2025 • 42 mins
We are celebrating working moms. Happy Mother's Day!
In this episode, Bernadette Boas shines a spotlight on working moms—both celebrating their invaluable role in our lives and in today's corporate world. Whether you're a mom, colleague, manager, or executive, you won’t want to miss Bernadette’s deep dive into the unique skills and perspectives that working mothers bring to the professional table.
Bernadette answers real questions from her clients and listeners, tackling everything from how working moms can leverage their multitasking and organizational superpowers, to setting boundaries and battling workplace bias. She offers powerful, tactical advice on how mothers (and all women in business) can focus on their professional development, manage guilt, and honor their own achievements—while blending career aspirations with personal fulfillment.
Tune in for actionable strategies that help you build a rock-solid support system, set clear goals, assert your value, and maintain that ever-important work-life integration. This episode is a must-listen for corporate professionals striving for success, authenticity, and balance—especially those looking to support or become outstanding working parents.
**What You’ll Learn:**
- The unique leadership and management strengths working moms contribute to teams and organizations
- Practical strategies to prevent burnout and set boundaries at work and at home
- Key pitfalls to avoid as you pursue your personal and professional goals
- How to combat guilt, overcome bias, and advocate for your advancement
- Steps to build a strong support network, seek mentorship, and prioritize continuous learning
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I absolutely love this time of year.
I'm going to timestamp it bysaying not only because it's
spring, but it's also Mother'sDay time Not just the day, but
also the week, the month, theyear, the lifetime that we
celebrate, and we shouldcelebrate moms.
Now, I'm not a mom, but Iabsolutely adore celebrating the
(00:26):
moms in my life, whether that'sfamily, friends or colleagues,
and this particular time of yearon Shedding the Corporate Bitch
.
I also love it because wereally blend the whole
conversation around.
Working moms have the careerthat they want, want integrated
with the life that they want.
And so we're going to betalking about and I'm going to
(00:49):
be addressing some of thequestions that I get from my
clients, friends, family members, others, when it comes to being
a working mom, such as what domoms, working moms, specifically
bring to the table and whatshould working moms be focused
on in order to have the careerand the lights that they want?
But also, what are the pitfallsor what do they not want to be
(01:12):
focusing on if they want tocontinue to advance in their
career?
And then, what factors impactworking moms?
Because whether it's life orwork, there's a lot of factors
playing for and against womenand working moms and what are
(01:32):
strategies that working moms canuse to ensure that they are
successful in building the typeof career, as well as their life
, that they want.
So stay with us as we reallydive in and we celebrate moms
during this time of year ofMother's Day.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
(02:11):
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I want to get into some of the specific questions
and give you some tips andstrategies around those
questions that I often get frommy clients that happen to be
working moms and they're justtrying to understand what it is
and how it is that they need tobe navigating their career, let
alone both their career andtheir life.
The one that always gets meit's like you know an arrow into
(02:58):
the heart is when a working mommight say to me you know,
Bernadette, but what do I bringto the table that's unique or
different to anyone else?
And we all know that there areskills and talents and traits
and qualities of a working momthat others do not have, and I
can appreciate that myself nothaving children and thinking
(03:21):
that I'm pretty well-roundedchildren and thinking that I'm
pretty well-rounded but I knowthat those that are caring for
children take on definitelytraits and qualities and values
that maybe others do not.
And so, tactically, to get downto it, what they bring to the
workplace, what the value youbring as a working mom to the
(03:43):
workplace, is the fact that youknow people might say
multitasking, and I happen tobelieve that we really don't
multitask.
There's one thing you do at atime other than chewing and
walking at the same time, butyou really can only focus on and
be doing one thing at a time.
Mothers really know how tojuggle a lot, so they are great
(04:05):
multitaskers in the workplace.
That is a huge benefit, becausenot only can they be working on
a lot of different things, theyknow how to balance them,
prioritize them, organize them,plan them in such a way that
they can get it all done eventhough they might be starting
stopping, starting stopping,starting, stopping across
(04:27):
multiple tasks.
They're just really goodprocessors.
Let's look at it that way.
They're just really goodcomputers in processing all the
things that need to get done and, as a result of that, you are
also very good at managing maybenot your personal time and
we'll get to that later but youoften get absolutely exasperated
(04:50):
.
When I used to, as my sistersand them having kids, I used to
(05:15):
look at the calendars that theyused to have hanging from the
refrigerator or on the wall andI just would get absolutely
exasperated at how busy you knowthey were and how just like so
many things going on at the sametime.
But that's a benefit.
That's a huge value to a teamand to a company as well.
(05:37):
At the same time, you know, moms, they definitely have to be
adaptable, they definitely haveto be resilient, they have to be
great change management agents,because things are constantly
changing.
You know it's like they get up,you know to go.
They get up to get evenprepared for work, and they
never know what's going tohappen.
By the time the kids wake up,the significant other wakes up.
(06:00):
They get food on the table,they get out the door and even
when they get out the door, theymight be turning around and
going back because something hashappened or whatever the case
might be.
Moms just know how to adapt andthey're extremely resilient.
It's also why they're soexhausted, Because they are
(06:21):
trying to be everything toeveryone all of the time and
that's a discussion for later inthe episode.
But it's one reason why in theworkplace they then can apply
that to just theunpredictability and the
volatility, especially intoday's environment In the
workplace.
They can kind of respond tothat.
(06:42):
They can kind of respond tothat Working moms are very.
(07:07):
What I'll say is they might notbe aware of their emotional
intelligence, but when you breakit down, you look at how
empathetic they other personneeds and always looking for
what other people need, even asopposed to what they need.
So, from a emotional,intelligence, empathy
perspective, that's verycritical in the workplace
because, as I always say, we'reslowly learning in the workplace
that your employees are people,not robots.
(07:28):
And people come with a lot ofjunk, a lot of baggage, a lot of
needs, a lot of wants, and thebest leaders out there know how
to tap into that and know how torecognize it and know how to
leverage it and know how tosupport it and motivate it and
correct it and just shift itwhere needed.
(07:49):
And working moms kind ofexemplify that, and so a lot of
us could be looking to workingmoms to really understand what
that is, how we can adapt, to bemore empathetic, more
supportive, more motivating andmore of a mentor and a coach to
our employees and our teammembers.
(08:10):
Other areas would be from adecision-making, problem-solving
perspective.
You know the number ofdecisions I don't even know the
exact number, I'm sure someone'sdone a study of them, but the
number of decisions that a momhas to make in a given day and
the number of problems they haveto solve, it could be at home,
it could be as simple as the kidgetting their homework done, or
(08:33):
the fact that they brought homea note from the teacher and now
everything has to get shiftedup and reconfigured, because
maybe she needs to go into theschool and talk to the teacher,
or maybe there was a delay inthe babysitter showing up and
yet she needs to go into theschool and talk to the teacher,
or maybe there was a delay inthe babysitter showing up and
yet she needs to be at the doorfor an appointment.
Whatever the case might be,Translate that into the
workplace of how creativeworking moms are when it comes
(08:58):
to, you know, identifying aproblem, identifying a solution
to that problem, being verycreative, thinking outside the
box and then making decisionsvery quickly in solving them,
because recognizing that if theycan resolve those issues
quickly and make a decision onthem, then they could be moving
on to the next thing that theyhave on their list.
So problem solving and decisionmaking and, of course, a lot of
(09:22):
this that we're talking about,leads to the fact that they're
just great leaders.
Women are great leaders.
Add working moms to that.
Because what are they doing allday long?
They are influencing, they arecommunicating, they are
nurturing, developing, coaching,disciplinary or accountability
(09:43):
other people in their personallife and they bring all of that
into the workplace and that'svalue that they bring to the
company, let alone theirorganizational skills, which we
talked about.
You know, with theirmultitasking and their time
management.
They just have greatorganizational skills.
I'll watch.
(10:04):
Some of my friends and mysisters just kind of keep
everything in order.
My mother had 12 children in atwo-bedroom house when I was
little and everything wasorganized.
Everything had to be organized.
That was kind of herrequirement as a mom.
She still wanted a nice house,a clean house, a decluttered
(10:28):
house, and therefore that waskind of instilled in all of us.
So my sisters also even one ofthem has five kids From an
earliest age.
I remember them, you know, justlearning how to walk and they
would take their own diaper andthrow it away.
They would pick up their toysand put them away and it's just
(10:56):
all inspiring when I watch howmoms operate and they bring all
of that into the workplace tosupport you and the team and the
business as a whole At the sametime.
Working moms have a differentperspective on things.
They have requirements of moms,whether it's products and
services, whether it's how theygo about their day and you know
(11:17):
what their routines look likeand you know, at the same time,
what are those problems that aregoing to crop up and therefore,
what are the solutions.
But they had just so manydifferent perspectives on what
it is that they need, what it isthat views, different opinions,
different beliefs, differentknow-hows, let alone the
(11:49):
different solutions and thedifferent angles that they can
take when it comes to solvingproblems, creating new ideas or
just getting the work done.
Diversity of their perspectivesis a major value.
And then the last value I wouldmention is the loyalty of
(12:11):
working moms loyalty to theirfamily, to their kids, to the
community, to the schools isbrought into the workplace.
So they're extremely committedand they're extremely dedicated,
and oftentimes more so thananyone.
They're extremely loyal.
At the same time, they have toget it back.
You know they want that back,so they feel appreciated and
(12:35):
supported, and that's a coupleof things that we'll get into as
well in regards to thechallenges or the pitfalls that
working moms might run into.
In summary of this particularquestion, working moms bring
significant value, productivity,innovation and ultimate success
, and teaming and collaborationand engagement and connection to
(12:58):
a team and to an organization.
That should not be overlooked.
So what do working moms need tofocus on if they want to be
successful?
Well, I would say all of thatthat.
We mentioned all the above, butI would add a couple of things
that oftentimes is overlookedand neglected.
But, as a working mom, you doneed to focus on a few
(13:23):
additional things to besuccessful.
All right, you do have all ofthese natural and or learned
traits, qualities and skillsbecause of being a mom and now a
working mom, but then there'sother things that you also want
to ensure that you're bringingto the table and focusing on,
and that would be first, it iscritical that you're taking care
(13:44):
of yourself.
You know, on the airplane theysay put the mask on yourself
first before helping otherpeople.
It's true, in life, you need totake care of yourself, to be the
best person for all of thosearound you, and first do that
for all the people in your lifeyour kids, your significant
others, your family, yourfriends.
But at the same time, that'sjust as critical for then that
(14:06):
being important and a value anda priority for you in the
workplace.
And when you take care ofyourself and therefore come into
the workplace energized andhealthy and alert and strong, it
just energizes the team and thebusiness as a whole.
So you have to take care ofyourself, and part of taking
(14:28):
care of yourself is making sureyou have a support system, not
only externally in your personallife, but internally, within
the workplace.
Make sure you have the peopleyou trust, the people you can
depend on, the people you askadvice for you know the people
that can give you the straightassessment, the straight
(14:49):
feedback, the hard feedback.
Make sure you're constantlyfocused on building that support
system outside of work andinside of work, and especially
inside of work when it comes tocareer advancement, which we'll
talk about.
(15:11):
The other one would be justensuring that you continue to be
flexible and make sure thatother people understand what
your give and take is, what yourflexibility is.
That will just help you in thelong run as well, especially as
a working mom, regarding yourconstraints as well as how
nimble you are in being able totake on new projects or take on
(15:31):
travel or take on some stretchgoals and responsibilities, even
with those external obligationsthat you have as a working mom.
So just ensure that you'recontinuing to be flexible and
the minute you feel that youhave as a working mom, so just
ensure that you're continuing tobe flexible, and the minute you
feel that you're gettingconstrained because of all the
other obligations andresponsibilities you have, then
(15:53):
that's where you use thatsupport system to say, okay, so
how can I get this done and howcan I make sure everything kind
of continues to work while Itake on this opportunity that I
have in front of me?
Or even if it's a negativesituation that's going on, how
do I handle that?
While also making sure that itsupports and doesn't hurt my
(16:18):
outside of work environment orlifestyle.
Which comes to the fact thatworking moms absolutely and this
actually goes to all women, butworking moms need to be able to
set boundaries.
If you don't know and areincapable of saying no, and you
don't know what your boundariesare, you don't know what your
(16:38):
limitations are.
That might sound contrite butat the same time, majority of
the women that I talk to,especially working moms, will
say that oh, I don't want tolimit myself, I don't want to.
You know I don't want to turnoff my phone or turn off my
email.
What if?
You know the big boss calls,what if?
(17:00):
And I'm like sitting theregoing, so you're just going to
stay up 24 by 7, you know,anticipating something that may
never happen, and there'snothing wrong with saying no,
there's nothing wrong withmissing that phone call, there's
nothing wrong with getting anemail back out to somebody the
next day there's just nothingwrong to those things.
(17:23):
And we could talk about settingboundaries for a whole episode,
and if there's any interest inthat, let me know.
Just leave comments.
As you see, this episode go out,because setting boundaries, not
only for working moms, but for99% of the clients that I work
for, is a critical issue thatthey are challenged with.
(17:45):
So you need to be able to setboundaries.
The other area, too, that youwould need to want to focus on
is your own professionaldevelopment.
Now, that can be that you talkto your team, you talk to your
business about providing youprofessional development, but
it's more about do you know whatprofessional development areas
(18:07):
you need to work on?
Do you know what skill,experience and expertise you
need to gain?
Have you done a 360 assessmentor done any type of
self-assessment to understandyour strengths but also your
gaps, and therefore, based onwhere you want to go in your
professional plan that you havefor yourself, do you really
understand kind of what learning, what coaching, what
(18:30):
development you need to befocused on, focused on, and so
ensure every single individualout there working mom or not,
you need to be ensuring that youare regularly, daily focused on
developing yourself personallyand professionally.
Okay, Because someone's notgoing to come and tap you on the
shoulder and go oh, I want togive you this great opportunity
(18:51):
to get into this leadershipprogram or get this executive
coach to support you or provideyou a mentor or an advocate.
You need to seek those out foryourself and hope that someone
actually just simply supports it, and or you have to build a
business case to kind ofvalidate why it's a value to you
(19:13):
and the company.
Another area that working momsabsolutely need to focus on is
what people will call guiltmanagement.
There is a lot of guilt ofleaving the kids at home, or
leaving the kids with a nanny,or leaving the kids with even
the significant other and youkind of pursuing your dreams and
(19:34):
your goals.
There's a lot of guilt aroundjust simply putting your needs
first and putting your goals outthere and wanting to climb that
ladder and be as successful asyou can be and that you're
capable of being, and so youhave to get control over that.
You have to recognize that,like we were talking about with
(19:55):
self-care, it's important totake care of yourself, your
goals, your dreams, yourpassions.
This is your one lifetime, asmuch as it is everyone around
you, and therefore you just needto come up with the strategies
and the tactics to ensure thatyou're taking care of everybody
else as well, and we'll talkabout that in just a second.
(20:17):
And then I call it honor yourriches here.
But I mentioned it earlier, youhave got to be able to really
appreciate yourself, reallyacknowledge your own
achievements, acknowledge whatyou've accomplished, acknowledge
your awards or your overallachievements.
(20:39):
But you need to be able to dothat, Depending upon how you do
it.
It's not arrogant, it's notconceited.
It's simply ensuring that otherpeople know what you are
contributing, what value you'rebringing, and if you are having
any career aspirations, youabsolutely need to do it,
because no one's going to tootyour horn for you.
(21:01):
You've got to toot it yourselfNow.
You might have advocates andsponsors who are talking about
you for future opportunities,but at the same time, you really
need to ensure that you're alsoputting yourself out there and
making sure others know what itis that you're doing and what it
is you're accomplishing, thereis absolutely nothing wrong with
(21:21):
it.
What's wrong with it is how youmight go about doing it.
And again, that's a subject foranother day.
And then working moms can oftenbe extremely distracted,
extremely, you know, focusedelsewhere.
You know, from the moment theywalk in that door or pick up the
phone or turn on Zoom, theycould be in a hundred different
(21:43):
other places.
So what you just need to focuson, too, is ensuring that, if
you're going to spend the timeworking and with the people
around you, make sure thatyou're fully there.
Make sure you're fully present,because if, all of a sudden,
you come home at night, you kickup your feet and you kind of go
to reflect on the day and youcan't remember what the heck it
(22:06):
is you accomplished or who youspoke to or what that
conversation was about.
It's kind of a wasted day.
All of a sudden, you wake upand it's a year later and you
can't remember the milestones,you can't remember what's
happened along the way, becauseyou're not fully present.
Have you ever done that?
The simplest analogy would beif you ever got in your car and
(22:27):
you drove like I don't know 10miles and you get to that
destination and you just go.
You weren't present right there, paying attention to what is
going on around you.
And it's really important tofocus on some of these things,
if not all of them, for you toreally understand what it's
(22:48):
going to take for you to then,you know, have the success that
you want for yourself, whichthen, you know, kind of flows
over into your family and yourfriends and your overall life.
All right, okay.
So I want to talk about somepitfalls that also working moms
specifically, can, you know, beconfronted with.
(23:11):
And if you can just understandthem and appreciate them at face
value meaning you know, don'tstew too much on them but at the
same time have a strategyagainst them and be sure you're
doing things that don'texasperate them, then they won't
(23:32):
affect you because you're notgoing to let them affect you.
And they won't affect youbecause you're not going to let
them affect you.
Okay, so one would be just theoverall conflict many women have
when it comes to, you know,work and life, that you know
they want balance.
No such thing.
I prefer you looking at it as ablend or an integration of your
(23:53):
work and life.
But also, you know it brings inthat guilt management.
It brings in so many otherconflicts that women have when
it comes to them working oneearning more money than maybe
their significant other, maybethat they are, you know, at a
higher level, at a differentrole and position, conflicted
(24:18):
over the fact that they want toclimb the ladder and they want
others to kind of pick up theslack and take care of.
You know what needs to go onoutside.
Then you have the conflict ofmaybe the significant other
doesn't want to support you andtherefore okay, so where's that
compromise?
Where's those boundaries?
What's that decision point foryou?
So there's a lot of work-lifeconflict that comes up for
(24:42):
especially working moms, letalone if you don't have a
support system, if you don'thave a supportive partner,
supportive network of whetherit's caretakers or family
members, your tribe, if youdon't really have a lot of
support, and not only supportfrom a getting everything done,
but more so someone who'smotivating and supporting and
(25:05):
cheerleading and really kind ofon the sidelines, you know, kind
of cheering you on to besuccessful, insulary, but a
healthy family life, familyenvironment, house environment.
If you go home and there's alot of turmoil and volatility in
the home, there's a whole lackof support there.
(25:35):
Women feel Working moms theminute that they're pregnant
they're worried about tellingthe workplace, the minute they
have the child and they have togo on maternity leave, there's a
lot of conflict when it comesto and discrimination when it
comes to them taking the timeoff, let alone if then the
husband or the significant otheralso takes time in order to be
(25:58):
there for their child in thefirst several months.
There's a lot of biases anddiscrimination able to climb the
(26:19):
corporate ladder, let alone theinsecurities and fear and
imposter syndrome that comes upfor women when it comes to
whether or not they're beingpaid for their worth or their
value or they're beingdiscriminated against because
they are a working mom.
There's so much that piles ontowomen and all I can say to that
is you need to kind ofunderstand and own who you are
(26:41):
and where you are and what youwant in your life, both work and
family, and really own it, andthen find the strategies, find
the support system, find theboundaries, find the network
that will allow you to combatall of those factors.
(27:02):
You will have a much betteropportunity to accomplish and to
gain and achieve all of yourgoals.
But it will take persistence,it will take determination, will
take persistence, it will takedetermination, it will take a
big degree of confidence, butmore so courage to combat a lot
(27:23):
of the negative factors thatwomen deal with I'll never
forget, kind of coming up in my20s and 30s so this is the 80s
and 90s, and I was the onlywoman in the room from the time
I was like 21 until maybe, youknow, into my late 40s.
And you know people would alwayshave this conversation out here
(27:45):
around.
You know the discriminationagainst women and the gender
bias and the gender inequality,and I just never got caught up
in it, maybe because I had sixbrothers and five sisters.
I just never got caught up init.
Now, am I naive to thediscrimination, to the bias, to
the inequality, the inequity?
(28:06):
Absolutely.
But am I, you know?
Am I going to sit and kind ofwallow in it and not find how to
work around it or work with it?
No, and neither do you.
You can find ways to workaround it or work with it that
will allow you to continuepursuing and achieving your
(28:28):
goals.
All right, now what you don'twant to do as a working mom, you
don't want to neglect thatself-care that we talked about.
The minute you let yourself go,everything else is going to go
and you're just going to beconstantly like a gerbil on a
wheel, just constantly trying tocatch up and make sure that you
(28:50):
can balance everything that iscoming at you and get it all
done in the way that you need toget done.
So you do not want to neglectyourself in any way, shape or
form.
You want to treat yourself, youwant to honor yourself, you
want to appreciate yourself, youwant to care for yourself.
And then another thing that Ido often see that you just
(29:11):
absolutely cannot be doing isunderestimating your worth and
your value and your contributionand what it is that you should
be paid, what opportunities youshould be given.
You know what seat you shouldbe having at the table.
You again, no one's going totap you on the shoulder.
You need to own it and you needto fight for it.
And you need to make sure otherpeople understand what it is
(29:33):
that you want and what it isthat you're going after and what
it is that you've earned.
And you can't back away because, oh, you don't want to ruffle
any feathers or, oh, you knowthey're going to think I'm a
bitch, or they're going to thinkthat I'm, you know, too
aggressive.
You know what your counterpartsare, you know are getting what
(29:54):
they want, and so look at howthey're getting what they want,
and I'm not saying emulate that,but just recognize that they're
not hesitating to ask for whatit is that they want.
Recognize their value, evenover-inflate their value to
create what it is that they wantfor their work and their life.
(30:16):
Another thing, too, that a lotof us don't really talk about a
lot is you don't want to be kindof isolating yourself.
You don't want to be separatingyourself.
I'm a working mom.
All these people are, you know,single or younger, or you know
they're empty nesters.
Now no one's going tounderstand my situation.
No one's going to.
(30:37):
You know, appreciate what I'mgoing through.
This is the time where youbuild that posse, you build that
tribe, you build that supportsystem.
You educate them on what it isthat you're dealing with.
You educate them on what it isthat you want.
You educate them on how theycan help you.
Make sure you're taking care ofyourself.
Get that professionaldevelopment that you want,
(30:58):
pursue the next opportunity thatis out there.
So don't isolate yourself anddon't ignore any of the input or
feedback that other people aregiving you good, bad or
indifferent.
Leverage it, ask for it andthen use it to understand what
it is that you need to be doingin order to respond to it and in
(31:20):
order to overcome it and or tocontinue to enrich and leverage
it.
If it's great feedback, sodon't ignore feedback, okay.
And then, of course, we talkedabout self-care.
We talked about, you know, notneglecting yourself.
We talked about boundaries, sodon't you know overcoming
yourself.
We talked about boundaries, sodon't overcommit yourself.
Be sure you know when to say noand stand firm in saying no.
(31:47):
All right, don't say yes justto please somebody Challenge it.
I often talk to clients aboutthe fact that just because your
boss throws you something andsays it needs to be done by the
end of the week doesn't mean youjust automatically assume that
oh okay, it was my boss, he gaveit to me and it needs to be
(32:09):
done, or she needs to be done bythe end of the week.
No, ask them.
So does this really need to bedone by the end of the week?
Is there a priority that thishas to be done by the end of the
week?
Because I have these otherthings that I need to be working
on, and so don't just assumethat everybody's priorities is a
(32:30):
real priority or everybody'sdeadline is the real deadline.
Make sure you're challenging itso you're not over committing,
overwhelming and overloadingyourself, because that won't be
healthy and that will definitelycause you to neglect your
self-care and a number of otherthings.
All right, you want toconstantly be focused on your
(32:50):
work-life blend, as I call it,or integration.
You don't want to neglect it inany way, shape or form.
Okay, so those are some of theyou know not to focus on.
You know neglecting yourself-care, underestimating your
value and your worth, ignoringfeedback or isolating yourself,
(33:11):
as well as neglecting any typeof work-life integration,
over-committing yourself, soforth and so on.
All right, so what are somestrategies?
What are some strategies thatyou could be using as a working
mom to continue to advance yourcareer?
The first one and this istypically the conversation that
(33:32):
I have during this Mother's Daycelebration is you need to have
goals.
You need to set those goalsthat I mentioned, you know, at
the beginning of this episode.
Set your personal andprofessional goals, not just the
ones that your boss is handingdown to you.
What is it you want to achievein your work, in your life, and
(33:52):
have them for both.
Have them, for you know yourwork beyond the business metrics
.
What is it you're working yourass for?
You know.
Do you want?
What role is it that you'rewanting to do?
What skills, what expertise areyou looking to gain?
What companies are you lookingto work for?
What is it that you're workingso hard for?
(34:14):
And then your personal.
What do you want to achieveoutside?
What is the legacy you want tobe leaving?
You know so, what are yourpersonal and professional goals?
And you can throw all thebusiness metrics into those
professional goals, but that'sjust a part of the professional
goals you want to have foryourself.
All right.
(34:34):
Another thing would be remembersupport system.
All right.
Another thing would be remembersupport system.
Find those mentors, find thoseadvocates, those sponsors, those
individuals within yourorganization, even outside your
organization, maybe in yourfield or industry, in your
community, from a businessperspective.
Seek advice for guidance, formentoring from, especially if
(34:57):
they're in the position thatyou're ultimately wanting to
achieve.
Seek out individuals that canguide you through your career
and guide you through the hurdleand the obstacles, the
discrimination, the biases, butalso the value and the worth of
being a working mom.
Build that posse, build thattribe, that network, that
(35:20):
support system that will notonly help you on a day-in,
day-out basis, but also help youplan and have that vision for
your career, short and long-term.
And then, of course, that lendsitself to needing to ensure that
you are constantly learning anddeveloping and growing.
You know, go out, and if yourcompany won't invest in your
(35:44):
professional development, thenyou go out for yourself in order
to move to that next level,then be sure that you are also
putting the time and the effortin, and maybe the investment
into getting that continuouslearning.
And, you know, don't rely onyour company to always provide
(36:16):
it.
You may have to go out and doit for yourself.
Another thing would be makesure that people know what it is
that you're working on.
So we talked about honoring yourriches, so make sure people
know your accomplishments, yourskills, your talents, your
passions and your you know, evenyour hobbies that can lend
itself to opportunities withinthe business.
(36:38):
At the same time, be sure thatthey know what it is, that your
goals are, your aspirations.
What is that next role, or thatnext position, or that role
three, five years from now?
And you know, then you can beasking them okay, what do I have
right now that lends itself toit, but what do I need to be
working on.
How do I need to fill the gaps?
You know what type ofdevelopment, what type of
(37:00):
coaching, what type of support,what type of goals do I need to
have within what I'm doing rightnow to then be considered for
those opportunities.
Letting other people know whatyour goals are because again,
they're not going to be tappingyou on the shoulder to go oh
guess what?
There's a big opportunity Iwant for you.
You need to make it known.
You need to make known whatyour boundaries are, what your
(37:21):
limitations are.
There's some of my clients whoreally can't be doing traveling
or moving because of you knowconstraints.
Make sure people know that soit doesn't work against you, it
works for you.
All right.
And then be sure you'redeveloping yourself on a daily
basis as a leader.
Make sure that you're alwaysfocused on how you're
(37:43):
communicating, engaging,connecting and relating to the
people that are working with youand for you.
Make sure you're working onbeing a nice delegator or an
effective delegator, as opposedto someone who dumps or dictates
to other people.
Make sure that you're payingattention to not only your own
(38:04):
prioritization of the tasks thatneed to get done, but make sure
the workload of your teammembers is understood by you and
then supported in that tasksfrom multiple people, not just
from you.
So make sure you are meetingwith them on a regular basis to
understand what their workloadis, what the priorities are, and
(38:24):
then helping them to plan thoseout and organize them and make
sure that they're going to bedone as effectively and
successfully as possible,because ultimately, what they
are or aren't able to accomplishis going to affect you.
So you need to be sure thatyou're helping them and
supporting them in them gettingtheir work done as much as you,
(38:46):
getting yours done All right,and that's just leadership as a
whole.
On a regular basis, you arealways focused on how best you
could be, not only taking careof yourself, but you could be
working on your work-lifeintegration.
Talk to my clients, probably inevery session, about what is it
(39:06):
that you're doing to take careof yourself, to enjoy yourself
outside the workplace boundaries, and come up with routines and
disciplines that won't have youlooking at your phone or pulling
up email or just focusingconstantly on work, because the
next thing you know, a week, amonth, a year, five years go by
(39:28):
and all you've been focused onis work and life is just
slipping by.
So make sure you're always,always focusing on your
work-life integration.
Should you be working on as aworking mom, what value you
bring, how do you honor yourselfand all the riches that you
possess right now, how you knowyou need to be focused on
(39:52):
certain things to be successfuland have that work-life
integration, but also have thatcareer path and that career
goals and that careeraspirations that you're wanting
for yourself as well.
What not to do, what not to dothat will impede you from
achieving what it is that youwant, and also some strategies
(40:14):
for how to be, overall,successful in pursuing and
achieving your goals.
I know for myself and for many,many, many other people, we are
all inspired by the working momsout there and are just
appreciated, appreciated.
We just appreciate what it isyou do bring to the table and
(40:36):
even if everyone doesn't, thereare individuals that do
appreciate what it is thatworking moms deal with on a
day-in, day-out basis and thevalue that they bring into the
workplace.
Seek them out and have them tobe your supporters and your
motivators and your cheerleaders.
Give you some of the tips andthe guidance that we talked
(40:58):
about today so you can ensurethat that integration of your
work and life and your careeraspirations are supported in
such a way that you aresuccessful in achieving them,
and so you can always go tocoachmebernadettecom forward
slash discovery call to schedulesome complimentary time with me
.
All right, and until we meetagain, I am so honored that
(41:23):
you're here this week.
I celebrate you as the workingmoms that you are, and, for all
of those who may not be, Icelebrate you as well, and I'll
look forward to having you rightback here for another episode
(41:51):
of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Happy Mother's Day or wherever you love to listen.
And for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
(42:12):
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
I absolutely love this time of year.
I'm going to timestamp it bysaying not only because it's
spring, but it's also Mother'sDay time Not just the day, but
also the week, the month, theyear, the lifetime that we
celebrate, and we shouldcelebrate moms.
Now, I'm not a mom, but Iabsolutely adore celebrating the
(00:26):
moms in my life, whether that'sfamily, friends or colleagues,
and this particular time of yearon Shedding the Corporate Bitch
.
I also love it because wereally blend the whole
conversation around.
Working moms have the careerthat they want, want integrated
with the life that they want.
And so we're going to betalking about and I'm going to
(00:49):
be addressing some of thequestions that I get from my
clients, friends, family members, others, when it comes to being
a working mom, such as what domoms, working moms, specifically
bring to the table and whatshould working moms be focused
on in order to have the careerand the lights that they want?
But also, what are the pitfallsor what do they not want to be
(01:12):
focusing on if they want tocontinue to advance in their
career?
And then, what factors impactworking moms?
Because whether it's life orwork, there's a lot of factors
playing for and against womenand working moms and what are
(01:32):
strategies that working moms canuse to ensure that they are
successful in building the typeof career, as well as their life
, that they want.
So stay with us as we reallydive in and we celebrate moms
during this time of year ofMother's Day.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast
that transforms today'smanagers into tomorrow's
powerhouse leaders.
Your host, bernadette Boas,executive coach and author,
brings you into a world wherethe corporate grind meets
personal growth and success ineach and every episode.
With more than 25 years incorporate trenches, bernadette's
(02:11):
own journey from beingdismissed as a tyrant boss to
becoming a sought-afterleadership coach and speaker
illustrates the very essence oftransformation that she now
inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories.
So if you're ready to shed thebitches of fear and insecurity,
ditch the imposter syndrome andstep into the role of the
powerhouse leader you were bornto be, this podcast is for you.
Let's do this.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I want to get into some of the specific questions
and give you some tips andstrategies around those
questions that I often get frommy clients that happen to be
working moms and they're justtrying to understand what it is
and how it is that they need tobe navigating their career, let
alone both their career andtheir life.
The one that always gets meit's like you know an arrow into
(02:58):
the heart is when a working mommight say to me you know,
Bernadette, but what do I bringto the table that's unique or
different to anyone else?
And we all know that there areskills and talents and traits
and qualities of a working momthat others do not have, and I
can appreciate that myself nothaving children and thinking
(03:21):
that I'm pretty well-roundedchildren and thinking that I'm
pretty well-rounded but I knowthat those that are caring for
children take on definitelytraits and qualities and values
that maybe others do not.
And so, tactically, to get downto it, what they bring to the
workplace, what the value youbring as a working mom to the
(03:43):
workplace, is the fact that youknow people might say
multitasking, and I happen tobelieve that we really don't
multitask.
There's one thing you do at atime other than chewing and
walking at the same time, butyou really can only focus on and
be doing one thing at a time.
Mothers really know how tojuggle a lot, so they are great
(04:05):
multitaskers in the workplace.
That is a huge benefit, becausenot only can they be working on
a lot of different things, theyknow how to balance them,
prioritize them, organize them,plan them in such a way that
they can get it all done eventhough they might be starting
stopping, starting stopping,starting, stopping across
(04:27):
multiple tasks.
They're just really goodprocessors.
Let's look at it that way.
They're just really goodcomputers in processing all the
things that need to get done and, as a result of that, you are
also very good at managing maybenot your personal time and
we'll get to that later but youoften get absolutely exasperated
(04:50):
.
When I used to, as my sistersand them having kids, I used to
(05:15):
look at the calendars that theyused to have hanging from the
refrigerator or on the wall andI just would get absolutely
exasperated at how busy you knowthey were and how just like so
many things going on at the sametime.
But that's a benefit.
That's a huge value to a teamand to a company as well.
(05:37):
At the same time, you know, moms, they definitely have to be
adaptable, they definitely haveto be resilient, they have to be
great change management agents,because things are constantly
changing.
You know it's like they get up,you know to go.
They get up to get evenprepared for work, and they
never know what's going tohappen.
By the time the kids wake up,the significant other wakes up.
(06:00):
They get food on the table,they get out the door and even
when they get out the door, theymight be turning around and
going back because something hashappened or whatever the case
might be.
Moms just know how to adapt andthey're extremely resilient.
It's also why they're soexhausted, Because they are
(06:21):
trying to be everything toeveryone all of the time and
that's a discussion for later inthe episode.
But it's one reason why in theworkplace they then can apply
that to just theunpredictability and the
volatility, especially intoday's environment In the
workplace.
They can kind of respond tothat.
(06:42):
They can kind of respond tothat Working moms are very.
(07:07):
What I'll say is they might notbe aware of their emotional
intelligence, but when you breakit down, you look at how
empathetic they other personneeds and always looking for
what other people need, even asopposed to what they need.
So, from a emotional,intelligence, empathy
perspective, that's verycritical in the workplace
because, as I always say, we'reslowly learning in the workplace
that your employees are people,not robots.
(07:28):
And people come with a lot ofjunk, a lot of baggage, a lot of
needs, a lot of wants, and thebest leaders out there know how
to tap into that and know how torecognize it and know how to
leverage it and know how tosupport it and motivate it and
correct it and just shift itwhere needed.
(07:49):
And working moms kind ofexemplify that, and so a lot of
us could be looking to workingmoms to really understand what
that is, how we can adapt, to bemore empathetic, more
supportive, more motivating andmore of a mentor and a coach to
our employees and our teammembers.
(08:10):
Other areas would be from adecision-making, problem-solving
perspective.
You know the number ofdecisions I don't even know the
exact number, I'm sure someone'sdone a study of them, but the
number of decisions that a momhas to make in a given day and
the number of problems they haveto solve, it could be at home,
it could be as simple as the kidgetting their homework done, or
(08:33):
the fact that they brought homea note from the teacher and now
everything has to get shiftedup and reconfigured, because
maybe she needs to go into theschool and talk to the teacher,
or maybe there was a delay inthe babysitter showing up and
yet she needs to go into theschool and talk to the teacher,
or maybe there was a delay inthe babysitter showing up and
yet she needs to be at the doorfor an appointment.
Whatever the case might be,Translate that into the
workplace of how creativeworking moms are when it comes
(08:58):
to, you know, identifying aproblem, identifying a solution
to that problem, being verycreative, thinking outside the
box and then making decisionsvery quickly in solving them,
because recognizing that if theycan resolve those issues
quickly and make a decision onthem, then they could be moving
on to the next thing that theyhave on their list.
So problem solving and decisionmaking and, of course, a lot of
(09:22):
this that we're talking about,leads to the fact that they're
just great leaders.
Women are great leaders.
Add working moms to that.
Because what are they doing allday long?
They are influencing, they arecommunicating, they are
nurturing, developing, coaching,disciplinary or accountability
(09:43):
other people in their personallife and they bring all of that
into the workplace and that'svalue that they bring to the
company, let alone theirorganizational skills, which we
talked about.
You know, with theirmultitasking and their time
management.
They just have greatorganizational skills.
I'll watch.
(10:04):
Some of my friends and mysisters just kind of keep
everything in order.
My mother had 12 children in atwo-bedroom house when I was
little and everything wasorganized.
Everything had to be organized.
That was kind of herrequirement as a mom.
She still wanted a nice house,a clean house, a decluttered
(10:28):
house, and therefore that waskind of instilled in all of us.
So my sisters also even one ofthem has five kids From an
earliest age.
I remember them, you know, justlearning how to walk and they
would take their own diaper andthrow it away.
They would pick up their toysand put them away and it's just
(10:56):
all inspiring when I watch howmoms operate and they bring all
of that into the workplace tosupport you and the team and the
business as a whole At the sametime.
Working moms have a differentperspective on things.
They have requirements of moms,whether it's products and
services, whether it's how theygo about their day and you know
(11:17):
what their routines look likeand you know, at the same time,
what are those problems that aregoing to crop up and therefore,
what are the solutions.
But they had just so manydifferent perspectives on what
it is that they need, what it isthat views, different opinions,
different beliefs, differentknow-hows, let alone the
(11:49):
different solutions and thedifferent angles that they can
take when it comes to solvingproblems, creating new ideas or
just getting the work done.
Diversity of their perspectivesis a major value.
And then the last value I wouldmention is the loyalty of
(12:11):
working moms loyalty to theirfamily, to their kids, to the
community, to the schools isbrought into the workplace.
So they're extremely committedand they're extremely dedicated,
and oftentimes more so thananyone.
They're extremely loyal.
At the same time, they have toget it back.
You know they want that back,so they feel appreciated and
(12:35):
supported, and that's a coupleof things that we'll get into as
well in regards to thechallenges or the pitfalls that
working moms might run into.
In summary of this particularquestion, working moms bring
significant value, productivity,innovation and ultimate success
, and teaming and collaborationand engagement and connection to
(12:58):
a team and to an organization.
That should not be overlooked.
So what do working moms need tofocus on if they want to be
successful?
Well, I would say all of thatthat.
We mentioned all the above, butI would add a couple of things
that oftentimes is overlookedand neglected.
But, as a working mom, you doneed to focus on a few
(13:23):
additional things to besuccessful.
All right, you do have all ofthese natural and or learned
traits, qualities and skillsbecause of being a mom and now a
working mom, but then there'sother things that you also want
to ensure that you're bringingto the table and focusing on,
and that would be first, it iscritical that you're taking care
(13:44):
of yourself.
You know, on the airplane theysay put the mask on yourself
first before helping otherpeople.
It's true, in life, you need totake care of yourself, to be the
best person for all of thosearound you, and first do that
for all the people in your lifeyour kids, your significant
others, your family, yourfriends.
But at the same time, that'sjust as critical for then that
(14:06):
being important and a value anda priority for you in the
workplace.
And when you take care ofyourself and therefore come into
the workplace energized andhealthy and alert and strong, it
just energizes the team and thebusiness as a whole.
So you have to take care ofyourself, and part of taking
(14:28):
care of yourself is making sureyou have a support system, not
only externally in your personallife, but internally, within
the workplace.
Make sure you have the peopleyou trust, the people you can
depend on, the people you askadvice for you know the people
that can give you the straightassessment, the straight
(14:49):
feedback, the hard feedback.
Make sure you're constantlyfocused on building that support
system outside of work andinside of work, and especially
inside of work when it comes tocareer advancement, which we'll
talk about.
(15:11):
The other one would be justensuring that you continue to be
flexible and make sure thatother people understand what
your give and take is, what yourflexibility is.
That will just help you in thelong run as well, especially as
a working mom, regarding yourconstraints as well as how
nimble you are in being able totake on new projects or take on
(15:31):
travel or take on some stretchgoals and responsibilities, even
with those external obligationsthat you have as a working mom.
So just ensure that you'recontinuing to be flexible and
the minute you feel that youhave as a working mom, so just
ensure that you're continuing tobe flexible, and the minute you
feel that you're gettingconstrained because of all the
other obligations andresponsibilities you have, then
(15:53):
that's where you use thatsupport system to say, okay, so
how can I get this done and howcan I make sure everything kind
of continues to work while Itake on this opportunity that I
have in front of me?
Or even if it's a negativesituation that's going on, how
do I handle that?
While also making sure that itsupports and doesn't hurt my
(16:18):
outside of work environment orlifestyle.
Which comes to the fact thatworking moms absolutely and this
actually goes to all women, butworking moms need to be able to
set boundaries.
If you don't know and areincapable of saying no, and you
don't know what your boundariesare, you don't know what your
(16:38):
limitations are.
That might sound contrite butat the same time, majority of
the women that I talk to,especially working moms, will
say that oh, I don't want tolimit myself, I don't want to.
You know I don't want to turnoff my phone or turn off my
email.
What if?
You know the big boss calls,what if?
(17:00):
And I'm like sitting theregoing, so you're just going to
stay up 24 by 7, you know,anticipating something that may
never happen, and there'snothing wrong with saying no,
there's nothing wrong withmissing that phone call, there's
nothing wrong with getting anemail back out to somebody the
next day there's just nothingwrong to those things.
(17:23):
And we could talk about settingboundaries for a whole episode,
and if there's any interest inthat, let me know.
Just leave comments.
As you see, this episode go out,because setting boundaries, not
only for working moms, but for99% of the clients that I work
for, is a critical issue thatthey are challenged with.
(17:45):
So you need to be able to setboundaries.
The other area, too, that youwould need to want to focus on
is your own professionaldevelopment.
Now, that can be that you talkto your team, you talk to your
business about providing youprofessional development, but
it's more about do you know whatprofessional development areas
(18:07):
you need to work on?
Do you know what skill,experience and expertise you
need to gain?
Have you done a 360 assessmentor done any type of
self-assessment to understandyour strengths but also your
gaps, and therefore, based onwhere you want to go in your
professional plan that you havefor yourself, do you really
understand kind of what learning, what coaching, what
(18:30):
development you need to befocused on, focused on, and so
ensure every single individualout there working mom or not,
you need to be ensuring that youare regularly, daily focused on
developing yourself personallyand professionally.
Okay, Because someone's notgoing to come and tap you on the
shoulder and go oh, I want togive you this great opportunity
(18:51):
to get into this leadershipprogram or get this executive
coach to support you or provideyou a mentor or an advocate.
You need to seek those out foryourself and hope that someone
actually just simply supports it, and or you have to build a
business case to kind ofvalidate why it's a value to you
(19:13):
and the company.
Another area that working momsabsolutely need to focus on is
what people will call guiltmanagement.
There is a lot of guilt ofleaving the kids at home, or
leaving the kids with a nanny,or leaving the kids with even
the significant other and youkind of pursuing your dreams and
(19:34):
your goals.
There's a lot of guilt aroundjust simply putting your needs
first and putting your goals outthere and wanting to climb that
ladder and be as successful asyou can be and that you're
capable of being, and so youhave to get control over that.
You have to recognize that,like we were talking about with
(19:55):
self-care, it's important totake care of yourself, your
goals, your dreams, yourpassions.
This is your one lifetime, asmuch as it is everyone around
you, and therefore you just needto come up with the strategies
and the tactics to ensure thatyou're taking care of everybody
else as well, and we'll talkabout that in just a second.
(20:17):
And then I call it honor yourriches here.
But I mentioned it earlier, youhave got to be able to really
appreciate yourself, reallyacknowledge your own
achievements, acknowledge whatyou've accomplished, acknowledge
your awards or your overallachievements.
(20:39):
But you need to be able to dothat, Depending upon how you do
it.
It's not arrogant, it's notconceited.
It's simply ensuring that otherpeople know what you are
contributing, what value you'rebringing, and if you are having
any career aspirations, youabsolutely need to do it,
because no one's going to tootyour horn for you.
(21:01):
You've got to toot it yourselfNow.
You might have advocates andsponsors who are talking about
you for future opportunities,but at the same time, you really
need to ensure that you're alsoputting yourself out there and
making sure others know what itis that you're doing and what it
is you're accomplishing, thereis absolutely nothing wrong with
(21:21):
it.
What's wrong with it is how youmight go about doing it.
And again, that's a subject foranother day.
And then working moms can oftenbe extremely distracted,
extremely, you know, focusedelsewhere.
You know, from the moment theywalk in that door or pick up the
phone or turn on Zoom, theycould be in a hundred different
(21:43):
other places.
So what you just need to focuson, too, is ensuring that, if
you're going to spend the timeworking and with the people
around you, make sure thatyou're fully there.
Make sure you're fully present,because if, all of a sudden,
you come home at night, you kickup your feet and you kind of go
to reflect on the day and youcan't remember what the heck it
(22:06):
is you accomplished or who youspoke to or what that
conversation was about.
It's kind of a wasted day.
All of a sudden, you wake upand it's a year later and you
can't remember the milestones,you can't remember what's
happened along the way, becauseyou're not fully present.
Have you ever done that?
The simplest analogy would beif you ever got in your car and
(22:27):
you drove like I don't know 10miles and you get to that
destination and you just go.
You weren't present right there, paying attention to what is
going on around you.
And it's really important tofocus on some of these things,
if not all of them, for you toreally understand what it's
(22:48):
going to take for you to then,you know, have the success that
you want for yourself, whichthen, you know, kind of flows
over into your family and yourfriends and your overall life.
All right, okay.
So I want to talk about somepitfalls that also working moms
specifically, can, you know, beconfronted with.
(23:11):
And if you can just understandthem and appreciate them at face
value meaning you know, don'tstew too much on them but at the
same time have a strategyagainst them and be sure you're
doing things that don'texasperate them, then they won't
(23:32):
affect you because you're notgoing to let them affect you.
And they won't affect youbecause you're not going to let
them affect you.
Okay, so one would be just theoverall conflict many women have
when it comes to, you know,work and life, that you know
they want balance.
No such thing.
I prefer you looking at it as ablend or an integration of your
(23:53):
work and life.
But also, you know it brings inthat guilt management.
It brings in so many otherconflicts that women have when
it comes to them working oneearning more money than maybe
their significant other, maybethat they are, you know, at a
higher level, at a differentrole and position, conflicted
(24:18):
over the fact that they want toclimb the ladder and they want
others to kind of pick up theslack and take care of.
You know what needs to go onoutside.
Then you have the conflict ofmaybe the significant other
doesn't want to support you andtherefore okay, so where's that
compromise?
Where's those boundaries?
What's that decision point foryou?
So there's a lot of work-lifeconflict that comes up for
(24:42):
especially working moms, letalone if you don't have a
support system, if you don'thave a supportive partner,
supportive network of whetherit's caretakers or family
members, your tribe, if youdon't really have a lot of
support, and not only supportfrom a getting everything done,
but more so someone who'smotivating and supporting and
(25:05):
cheerleading and really kind ofon the sidelines, you know, kind
of cheering you on to besuccessful, insulary, but a
healthy family life, familyenvironment, house environment.
If you go home and there's alot of turmoil and volatility in
the home, there's a whole lackof support there.
(25:35):
Women feel Working moms theminute that they're pregnant
they're worried about tellingthe workplace, the minute they
have the child and they have togo on maternity leave, there's a
lot of conflict when it comesto and discrimination when it
comes to them taking the timeoff, let alone if then the
husband or the significant otheralso takes time in order to be
(25:58):
there for their child in thefirst several months.
There's a lot of biases anddiscrimination able to climb the
(26:19):
corporate ladder, let alone theinsecurities and fear and
imposter syndrome that comes upfor women when it comes to
whether or not they're beingpaid for their worth or their
value or they're beingdiscriminated against because
they are a working mom.
There's so much that piles ontowomen and all I can say to that
is you need to kind ofunderstand and own who you are
(26:41):
and where you are and what youwant in your life, both work and
family, and really own it, andthen find the strategies, find
the support system, find theboundaries, find the network
that will allow you to combatall of those factors.
(27:02):
You will have a much betteropportunity to accomplish and to
gain and achieve all of yourgoals.
But it will take persistence,it will take determination, will
take persistence, it will takedetermination, it will take a
big degree of confidence, butmore so courage to combat a lot
(27:23):
of the negative factors thatwomen deal with I'll never
forget, kind of coming up in my20s and 30s so this is the 80s
and 90s, and I was the onlywoman in the room from the time
I was like 21 until maybe, youknow, into my late 40s.
And you know people would alwayshave this conversation out here
(27:45):
around.
You know the discriminationagainst women and the gender
bias and the gender inequality,and I just never got caught up
in it, maybe because I had sixbrothers and five sisters.
I just never got caught up init.
Now, am I naive to thediscrimination, to the bias, to
the inequality, the inequity?
(28:06):
Absolutely.
But am I, you know?
Am I going to sit and kind ofwallow in it and not find how to
work around it or work with it?
No, and neither do you.
You can find ways to workaround it or work with it that
will allow you to continuepursuing and achieving your
(28:28):
goals.
All right, now what you don'twant to do as a working mom, you
don't want to neglect thatself-care that we talked about.
The minute you let yourself go,everything else is going to go
and you're just going to beconstantly like a gerbil on a
wheel, just constantly trying tocatch up and make sure that you
(28:50):
can balance everything that iscoming at you and get it all
done in the way that you need toget done.
So you do not want to neglectyourself in any way, shape or
form.
You want to treat yourself, youwant to honor yourself, you
want to appreciate yourself, youwant to care for yourself.
And then another thing that Ido often see that you just
(29:11):
absolutely cannot be doing isunderestimating your worth and
your value and your contributionand what it is that you should
be paid, what opportunities youshould be given.
You know what seat you shouldbe having at the table.
You again, no one's going totap you on the shoulder.
You need to own it and you needto fight for it.
And you need to make sure otherpeople understand what it is
(29:33):
that you want and what it isthat you're going after and what
it is that you've earned.
And you can't back away because, oh, you don't want to ruffle
any feathers or, oh, you knowthey're going to think I'm a
bitch, or they're going to thinkthat I'm, you know, too
aggressive.
You know what your counterpartsare, you know are getting what
(29:54):
they want, and so look at howthey're getting what they want,
and I'm not saying emulate that,but just recognize that they're
not hesitating to ask for whatit is that they want.
Recognize their value, evenover-inflate their value to
create what it is that they wantfor their work and their life.
(30:16):
Another thing, too, that a lotof us don't really talk about a
lot is you don't want to be kindof isolating yourself.
You don't want to be separatingyourself.
I'm a working mom.
All these people are, you know,single or younger, or you know
they're empty nesters.
Now no one's going tounderstand my situation.
No one's going to.
(30:37):
You know, appreciate what I'mgoing through.
This is the time where youbuild that posse, you build that
tribe, you build that supportsystem.
You educate them on what it isthat you're dealing with.
You educate them on what it isthat you want.
You educate them on how theycan help you.
Make sure you're taking care ofyourself.
Get that professionaldevelopment that you want,
(30:58):
pursue the next opportunity thatis out there.
So don't isolate yourself anddon't ignore any of the input or
feedback that other people aregiving you good, bad or
indifferent.
Leverage it, ask for it andthen use it to understand what
it is that you need to be doingin order to respond to it and in
(31:20):
order to overcome it and or tocontinue to enrich and leverage
it.
If it's great feedback, sodon't ignore feedback, okay.
And then, of course, we talkedabout self-care.
We talked about, you know, notneglecting yourself.
We talked about boundaries, sodon't you know overcoming
yourself.
We talked about boundaries, sodon't overcommit yourself.
Be sure you know when to say noand stand firm in saying no.
(31:47):
All right, don't say yes justto please somebody Challenge it.
I often talk to clients aboutthe fact that just because your
boss throws you something andsays it needs to be done by the
end of the week doesn't mean youjust automatically assume that
oh okay, it was my boss, he gaveit to me and it needs to be
(32:09):
done, or she needs to be done bythe end of the week.
No, ask them.
So does this really need to bedone by the end of the week?
Is there a priority that thishas to be done by the end of the
week?
Because I have these otherthings that I need to be working
on, and so don't just assumethat everybody's priorities is a
(32:30):
real priority or everybody'sdeadline is the real deadline.
Make sure you're challenging itso you're not over committing,
overwhelming and overloadingyourself, because that won't be
healthy and that will definitelycause you to neglect your
self-care and a number of otherthings.
All right, you want toconstantly be focused on your
(32:50):
work-life blend, as I call it,or integration.
You don't want to neglect it inany way, shape or form.
Okay, so those are some of theyou know not to focus on.
You know neglecting yourself-care, underestimating your
value and your worth, ignoringfeedback or isolating yourself,
(33:11):
as well as neglecting any typeof work-life integration,
over-committing yourself, soforth and so on.
All right, so what are somestrategies?
What are some strategies thatyou could be using as a working
mom to continue to advance yourcareer?
The first one and this istypically the conversation that
(33:32):
I have during this Mother's Daycelebration is you need to have
goals.
You need to set those goalsthat I mentioned, you know, at
the beginning of this episode.
Set your personal andprofessional goals, not just the
ones that your boss is handingdown to you.
What is it you want to achievein your work, in your life, and
(33:52):
have them for both.
Have them, for you know yourwork beyond the business metrics
.
What is it you're working yourass for?
You know.
Do you want?
What role is it that you'rewanting to do?
What skills, what expertise areyou looking to gain?
What companies are you lookingto work for?
What is it that you're workingso hard for?
(34:14):
And then your personal.
What do you want to achieveoutside?
What is the legacy you want tobe leaving?
You know so, what are yourpersonal and professional goals?
And you can throw all thebusiness metrics into those
professional goals, but that'sjust a part of the professional
goals you want to have foryourself.
All right.
(34:34):
Another thing would be remembersupport system.
All right.
Another thing would be remembersupport system.
Find those mentors, find thoseadvocates, those sponsors, those
individuals within yourorganization, even outside your
organization, maybe in yourfield or industry, in your
community, from a businessperspective.
Seek advice for guidance, formentoring from, especially if
(34:57):
they're in the position thatyou're ultimately wanting to
achieve.
Seek out individuals that canguide you through your career
and guide you through the hurdleand the obstacles, the
discrimination, the biases, butalso the value and the worth of
being a working mom.
Build that posse, build thattribe, that network, that
(35:20):
support system that will notonly help you on a day-in,
day-out basis, but also help youplan and have that vision for
your career, short and long-term.
And then, of course, that lendsitself to needing to ensure that
you are constantly learning anddeveloping and growing.
You know, go out, and if yourcompany won't invest in your
(35:44):
professional development, thenyou go out for yourself in order
to move to that next level,then be sure that you are also
putting the time and the effortin, and maybe the investment
into getting that continuouslearning.
And, you know, don't rely onyour company to always provide
(36:16):
it.
You may have to go out and doit for yourself.
Another thing would be makesure that people know what it is
that you're working on.
So we talked about honoring yourriches, so make sure people
know your accomplishments, yourskills, your talents, your
passions and your you know, evenyour hobbies that can lend
itself to opportunities withinthe business.
(36:38):
At the same time, be sure thatthey know what it is, that your
goals are, your aspirations.
What is that next role, or thatnext position, or that role
three, five years from now?
And you know, then you can beasking them okay, what do I have
right now that lends itself toit, but what do I need to be
working on.
How do I need to fill the gaps?
You know what type ofdevelopment, what type of
(37:00):
coaching, what type of support,what type of goals do I need to
have within what I'm doing rightnow to then be considered for
those opportunities.
Letting other people know whatyour goals are because again,
they're not going to be tappingyou on the shoulder to go oh
guess what?
There's a big opportunity Iwant for you.
You need to make it known.
You need to make known whatyour boundaries are, what your
(37:21):
limitations are.
There's some of my clients whoreally can't be doing traveling
or moving because of you knowconstraints.
Make sure people know that soit doesn't work against you, it
works for you.
All right.
And then be sure you'redeveloping yourself on a daily
basis as a leader.
Make sure that you're alwaysfocused on how you're
(37:43):
communicating, engaging,connecting and relating to the
people that are working with youand for you.
Make sure you're working onbeing a nice delegator or an
effective delegator, as opposedto someone who dumps or dictates
to other people.
Make sure that you're payingattention to not only your own
(38:04):
prioritization of the tasks thatneed to get done, but make sure
the workload of your teammembers is understood by you and
then supported in that tasksfrom multiple people, not just
from you.
So make sure you are meetingwith them on a regular basis to
understand what their workloadis, what the priorities are, and
(38:24):
then helping them to plan thoseout and organize them and make
sure that they're going to bedone as effectively and
successfully as possible,because ultimately, what they
are or aren't able to accomplishis going to affect you.
So you need to be sure thatyou're helping them and
supporting them in them gettingtheir work done as much as you,
(38:46):
getting yours done All right,and that's just leadership as a
whole.
On a regular basis, you arealways focused on how best you
could be, not only taking careof yourself, but you could be
working on your work-lifeintegration.
Talk to my clients, probably inevery session, about what is it
(39:06):
that you're doing to take careof yourself, to enjoy yourself
outside the workplace boundaries, and come up with routines and
disciplines that won't have youlooking at your phone or pulling
up email or just focusingconstantly on work, because the
next thing you know, a week, amonth, a year, five years go by
(39:28):
and all you've been focused onis work and life is just
slipping by.
So make sure you're always,always focusing on your
work-life integration.
Should you be working on as aworking mom, what value you
bring, how do you honor yourselfand all the riches that you
possess right now, how you knowyou need to be focused on
(39:52):
certain things to be successfuland have that work-life
integration, but also have thatcareer path and that career
goals and that careeraspirations that you're wanting
for yourself as well.
What not to do, what not to dothat will impede you from
achieving what it is that youwant, and also some strategies
(40:14):
for how to be, overall,successful in pursuing and
achieving your goals.
I know for myself and for many,many, many other people, we are
all inspired by the working momsout there and are just
appreciated, appreciated.
We just appreciate what it isyou do bring to the table and
(40:36):
even if everyone doesn't, thereare individuals that do
appreciate what it is thatworking moms deal with on a
day-in, day-out basis and thevalue that they bring into the
workplace.
Seek them out and have them tobe your supporters and your
motivators and your cheerleaders.
Give you some of the tips andthe guidance that we talked
(40:58):
about today so you can ensurethat that integration of your
work and life and your careeraspirations are supported in
such a way that you aresuccessful in achieving them,
and so you can always go tocoachmebernadettecom forward
slash discovery call to schedulesome complimentary time with me
.
All right, and until we meetagain, I am so honored that
(41:23):
you're here this week.
I celebrate you as the workingmoms that you are, and, for all
of those who may not be, Icelebrate you as well, and I'll
look forward to having you rightback here for another episode
(41:51):
of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Happy Mother's Day or wherever you love to listen.
And for those who thrive onvisual content, catch us on our
Shedding the Bitch YouTubechannel.
Want to dive deeper withBernadette on becoming a
powerhouse leader?
Visit balloffirecoachingcom tolearn more about how she helps
professionals, hr executives andteam leaders elevate overall
team performance.
You've been listening toShedding the Corporate Bitch
(42:12):
with Bernadette Boas.
Until next time, keep shedding,keep growing and keep leading.
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