September 2, 2025 • 102 mins
Another movie commentary?! Yes, we couldn't resist waiting to watch this gem right away...fuck it was fun.
(This version has no audio of the movie. We have another version with movie audio)
ACTION U.S.A | 1989 Two FBI agents (Gregory Scott Cummins, William Hubbard Knight) protect the fleeing girlfriend (Barri Murphy) of a jewel thief slain by gangsters. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096757/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
You're not so lucky now,
(00:29):
See? But Billy Ray was the only one that really knew where the diamonds were.
Yeah. Hey, Billy Ray. Frankincense is greedy.
Now you have night walk,
motherfucker.
Clay. Oscar. I'm here to help you. Get off
(00:51):
of me. Tell him I
want the broad back here alive.
(01:14):
Boss called in Drago. He must want him bad. That's quite an outfit. When in
Texas, I dress like a Texan. All right.
Fight.
Find him. God damn it.
(01:47):
Hey, kids, this is the simplistic reviews. Look into D23.
No, I'm just with you. Nobody cares about D23. We're gonna delve into something even
more Americana, actual commentary for a movie called Action
USA for show purposes. I'm DJ Valentine, and I'm joined by two guys
who are always white, even after Labor Day. Matthew Stewart. Chesape Polizzi.
(02:07):
Hey, did we do this movie? I am white. We wear white.
No, we definitely did not do this movie. And number one, I usually always wear
white after Labor Day, but. But he forgot his hat at home.
Down with the man, if you know what I mean. Yeah, the man.
Action usa we definitely did not do.
Because what was the one with Chuck Norris? In the. In the mall Is
(02:31):
a prequel. Is this a prequel? Now? This is a
movie. It's a prequel of Action Park. I've always wanted Action Park.
Yeah, that's a hell of a documentary. Great film. New Jersey reference.
Exactly. If Jersey caught deep
cut people dying at a park.
Action USA is a movie I've always wanted to do. So we're
(02:54):
gonna do it. It is considered actually a really
fun movie to watch. And with a name as generic
as Action Action usa, you know, it's gonna be probably pretty fun.
There was also the video game. I believe it was called Action 96.
It was a NES. That's any I want to see. Yeah. And you.
(03:15):
You blow up. You blow up a giant Asian guy's head,
I think. Okay, that's racist. But I'm still in. But it was 96.
This came out in 89. Okay, I'm looking up
action 96 right now to see if I've ever owned this game.
Not for racist. Not many people. The COVID is just an A with
(03:36):
96. Yeah,
it's action Comics. Oh, God. I'm on the list now. It brought me to
a website. Now I'm on the Action list.
The record prove that he wanted to go to the store. I did. I.
I was just. Research purposes. Only research purposes. Okay.
(03:59):
And that's whatever you're always supposed to. Blow the bloody doors. That's why Stephen Hawking
was on the island. He was just trying to figure out the mathematical equation of
pedophilia. That's what he was doing there.
Yeah, he was too busy trying to figure out the mathematical equation of.
He should be able to. One of these women. Yeah. 16 minus
12 is just my number.
(04:21):
Oh, sorry, I forgot my robot voice. Sixteen minus four.
He might be 13 around the Earth. He's dead
and he's kind of paralyzed. And he was in Epstein Island.
He was up.
Everything. Matthew, I wasn't watching that film. Or as the rumors will say,
(04:41):
he wasn't there to be because he was. I heard the rumors where he was
faking it when he got that wheelchair. Like he's
building his time machine. Buddy. He was touched by the. So one day
this list is going to come out. We need a time machine to stop.
I need a video. I need videotapes of this list or this island.
Island. Well, I can tell you one thing. Action USA
(05:04):
is going to be a better videotape to pop in. I like it. And I'm
at the 0001 mark and I'm hitting the play button
right about now. Oh,
wow. Look at. I hope it's. It is.
I've never heard of this entertainment company.
Stewart. John Stewart. Related to Matthew Stewart.
(05:27):
Yeah. Of the Stewart. Oh my God. Film.
It's a steward. What are you gonna call this movie? I don't know. It takes
place in the USA and. It'S got a lot of it's action in it.
Works for Merricks, works for me. Hunter.
Yeah. Sleek one. Yeah.
Oh, I like this. I like this. So you know it takes place in Texas
(05:47):
probably. It's got the. What's it called?
The Cheeto Kid. I think it
was a Cheeto Kid. With the girl with the titties out and everything. It's like
this. Kids, remember, drink responsibly. Drink irresponsibly.
This movie already has everything I want on it. It's got. He's this. It's got.
(06:07):
Probably fingering her Corvette Stingrays. It's not
looking at the road as he's driving.
His engine is coming out. He's got metal playing. Caught stealing
with what's his name, the dune guy. It kind of has the same kind.
Of scene with Elvis. Yeah, with Elvis kind of has the same kind of thing.
He's with a guy though, not a girl.
(06:29):
She's kind of like 80s 90s hot. Oh wait, he got nice.
He's all about family guys. He's all about family. He's all about family.
He's got the nas. She's got that look, that no matter what, she's gonna have
a good. You can do whatever. You can stick a finger up the butthole.
Will Smith is in this movie. William Smith. Oh, you know
who William Smith is? You know. Yeah. Cameron Mitchell, of course.
(06:54):
Drago. Wait a minute. Rocky. Oh, this movie has it
all, buddy. This is a mashup.
Yeah. It's got rainbow.
He's in here.
This opening. This open scene, though, it's a nice shot. I'm liking the
shot. It's got a little John Frankenheimer vibe to it.
(07:17):
Del Cacher. Great music so far. You know, licensed music, but it's
good licensed music. Okay. All right. It's kind of like the end of every episode
of Alien Earth. It's fine. Yeah. David Risnick. Yeah.
Let's see. Let's go with our little game here. As we always like to play
the game. Yeah, let's play the game. So we'll start with explosions,
you know. All right. There's a lot of Action usa. We're going
(07:41):
to Action usa, guys. I mean, we're going basic with this.
With this stuff. We're not. We're not going to get cute. If I remember the
trailer, which I haven't seen in years, there is a
few explosions. Okay. What's your number, Matthew? Fourteen and
a half. Explosion. Fourteen under. I'm going under. Okay. That's a lot of money.
That's a lot of money. I mean. Yeah, but you know, this, this.
(08:04):
Mind you, this also has Cameron Mitchell in it. It is Texas,
though, and they blow up a lot of. In Texas.
What are you going with? I think down there. I think I'm just thinking about
how those titties are about to hit his stomach.
Everybody explodes. He might explode in a second. You might
have a pants explosion in his back pocket.
(08:26):
Oh, wow. He's covering the camera. He carried a. Carried a strap.
That's a big gun. That's like a.357. Grabbed a hold of that. You see that?
He sat in the car with a gun up his ass. He Other issues.
He's a man apologize. And he wears the sunglasses
inside. Yeah. Well, to. To be fair, he didn't get a chance to really
take him off. She was like, all over him immediately. I think there's going to
(08:47):
be a lot of explosions going over. Jesse, are you going to go over explosions
USA? Well, he said, I mean, it's still 14 and a half. He says
there's going to be a lot. But will there be more than. I don't know.
I don't think that's a lot of money. Explosions is a lot. I'm going to
go under. I'll go under. Both under. All right, next one. Gun fights.
He's a good, good old fan. Well, we already got a gun. He's about to
fight it. I know, but. And here's the thing. It can't be like, oh,
(09:10):
he locked the door. And that's. It's not to be individual. This can't be like.
If everybody's like, gun. They are fighting like titties already. So we got this.
What a movie. Guys.
Things. But this is bonus right here. Just. Okay,
titties. Ten and a half gunfights. Over,
over, over, over, over, over. Okay,
(09:32):
but I wanted to have the thing about that little. It has to be individual.
Not like a long one, but like. They have to be special needs children.
If it's like one big gunfight with like a soldiers,
that's one gunfight. Okay, I got you. I got you. I'm still going over.
I think. I don't know. It's called action usa. I'm going over. I think
we're have a bunch. Yeah. But there could be like, more car. This could be
(09:55):
the biggest letdown in my life, by the way. Yeah. You know when you watch
a gunfight, you kind of know the beginning in the end, we kind of know
when the. A new gunfight has erupted. Like there's gonna be a gunfight here happening.
He's got the gun. So somebody's gonna break in this house. Because that's what we're
focusing on. The door. The door. Yeah, yeah. They come in, he's gonna have
to have a gunfight. That's how Hitchcock did it. And this leads me to.
Yeah, exactly. Learned from the best. Hide the bomb underneath the table.
(10:19):
Oh, my God. John Stewart of the Green Lantern corpse,
by the way. It's true. Well, he didn't reach for the gun. But the first
thing you're gonna say, right? Yeah. Who the hell are these guys?
This. Oh, I'll cut a deal. I'm gonna cut you open.
Oh, hell yeah. Low rent Freddie Mercury Punching
(10:41):
wow. Low red. Freddie Mercury is a spousal abuser. Yeah, he is.
He dropped a hard one on her face.
Reversal. Yeah, that's double misogyny.
Go. And the brand new Chrysler LeBaron.
I don't know, I just made it up. Chevrolet something.
(11:05):
It looks too classy for them, though. Well, they are crooks
or they Are thugs. Maybe kills here.
Oh, kills. Okay. Nobody's dead yet. 45 and a half over.
I'm going over. All right, I'm going over. I think the gunfights
are going to lay a lot of people in the ground. All right, 45 and
(11:27):
a half. 45. 45 spot. And kids count as two.
Remember that? Yeah, it's kind of a standard rule here. Well, there's no kids
in this. Oh, damn it. I don't know. I don't know.
Hopefully there's some kids watching. Hopefully there's some kids. I mean, we did get some
kids in. We did get a kid death in the last movie commentary.
That was. That was shocking. One right in the head.
(11:48):
Yeah. I would say.
I'll go under. Okay, well,
that's good. We're. We're gonna get a. I wanna. I wanna get a winner.
We're gonna get a winner here. We're gonna. Helicopter explosion get. Let's get this.
Keep our eyes out for the helicopter explosions, guys. No one say anything
(12:10):
about Liam Neeson. No. Because last
movie commentary we did there. I have been editing
all my life. Yes. Probably since the age of 13. 14.
Right. I've never had to deal with what happened in the last
podcast editing. It was perfect. It worked great.
(12:30):
I added Liam Neeson and got up and
corrupted. Everything. Got corrupted. Everything had to be re. Edited. I had to
reit that podcast three. Times because the word Liam Neeson.
No, I added that video in the beginning and.
Oh, that's what it just went.
He heard you. No niece in this podcast. No, no, no, no, no,
(12:54):
no. Not even. Put in Pamela Anderson instead. Put Pam Anderson instead.
They dropped this guy. That would be a hell of an opening.
Have we seen a different illustration from a helicopter before? This is. This is pretty
cool, actually. Oh, I thought he dropped him right there.
I thought he dropped him. He's holding him.
(13:15):
He's just holding him by the little bit of the bottom of his. That's a
hell of a shoelace Uglot, or whatever it's called.
He. Little tiny little tip, you know,
That's a cool stunt. That's a really good one, too.
He's. And he's high up enough. Yeah. I mean, this is a good woman.
This is a good woman. She's trying to save you, man. She catches this
(13:36):
guy, she got punched. In the face hard, and she's still trying
to save you. Marry that chick to put a shirt on.
Shirt on, bro. It would have been more better. Kind of look like an awesome.
She's driving naked just Driving naked on the street. Oh, yeah. I gotta save my.
He's flying in the wind. She just put her shirt back on. I noticed.
Yeah, man. Looks like he's only tied
(13:57):
like. They look like he's like hit his foot there. This is a great
commercial for Levi's Strauss jeans. These jeans will keep you
hanging from. They'll always be there for you. They will always be there.
Always. Keep your jeans on. Yeah, man, keep your pants on.
See, they want to get mad about this. If this is Sydney Sweeney,
they want to get. Oh, perhaps you're wondering why you shoot. A man before
(14:19):
throwing him out of an airplane.
Be very painful for you. What happens if
I take that mask off? Very painful. He's gonna fly the helicopter.
He said I can't leave without my. My World War II commemoration cap.
Yeah. It's a proud veteran.
Vietnam. It only happened once. Vietnam, man.
(14:41):
This was mine. He made it. He didn't die. He didn't die.
I took the poison. Didn't kill me. This is a
good woman. Marry this woman. Unless you hit a
car. It's called curbside service, my friends. Hey,
honey, what's going on? This was shot in California. It looked like he had a
California hat on. It's true. Fire, rescue.
(15:04):
His first complaint was, honey, why wouldn't you bring the other car? The faster.
Oh, they're low on fuel, by the way. Oh, helicopter explosion.
Helicopter explosion. Dude, in the beginning.
I don't know how. Hold on. 10 minutes in. Figure never getting helicopters
doing this thing. It's three people on that copter. Just make sure, you know,
three in the cop. There's one in this car. That guy looks like he had
(15:26):
his. His window. His windshield was already pre broken for him. You didn't
see that. Look, look over there. Elephant elephants.
Yeah, this guy's car. Nobody broke that windshield. Look over there.
Get the hell out of this car here. Hey, buddy,
welcome to Texas. I know
it's Texas. He had like a California hat. He had like Dolly Parton in
(15:49):
the car with him. Dolly Parton. I was gon dime store Madonna, but. All right,
it looked like a dime star. Thomas Hayden, Church and dime store.
He looks like Sideways Thomas. Yeah,
I ain't drinking no Merlot. That Merlot don't drink that
merlot. Isn't he drinking wine
(16:10):
out of like a bucket? That spitzoon or something? Yeah, when he. When he goes.
When old Paul Giamatti goes crazy. Goes crazy.
You think this is the hero throughout the entire movie? I think
this is. These are all going to be the only Four characters. It's all they
can afford in the usa. I mean, Cameron Mitchell's just credited to
(16:32):
be credited, because he was like, can you just throw my name on there for
good now? This is 89. You think
he's going to be sitting the entire time? Kevin Mitchell. I guarantee you he's not
gonna leave. Mitchell. I think he might be in one location the entire. That might
be a bonus question because he might will. Cameron Mitchell.
That's a. That's 89. He. He might be sitting the
(16:53):
entire time. Oh. Oh, well, this would.
He isn't. If he fires back, it's one. If he
fires back, it's one. He hasn't got a gunfight. He does. Yeah. I don't know.
He did. Do you think they let him keep his gun on him when they
were throwing. That's the girlfriend brought. The girlfriend could have brought it. Dude.
She brings guns and a car.
(17:15):
Marry this chick, man. She's got everything. Toyota Tacoma,
Toyota. Drive time. I guess it was
more TV when they would always blank out stuff because it was a man sponsor
of, like a. A tv. Oh, dude, he just hits his head.
I think Matt nailed it. This guy looks just like Freddie Mercury,
(17:38):
man. Freaky Freddie Mercury. I think we're gonna kill you, man.
We're gonna kill you with my voice, man. Does that ever work?
This yelling, hey, stop. And that's not gonna stop. It never works.
Never works.
This is like John. This is like Frankenheimer. This is straight up Ronin going
on right now. I like this right here. I like this. It's a good idea.
(18:01):
You put. Just put the camera, like, on a little RV car. Yeah, man.
Let's put it right in the front. Save money.
I mean, that's pretty good. I mean, for this type of movie.
It's pretty well done. That's pretty cool, dude. And do it.
Give me a little bit of vertical. I think I might throw up. But,
I mean, there is action. I would have changed. It is in usa, Matthew.
(18:22):
It is. Yeah. Or usa Texas. Okay.
Technically, way better than the usa. It'd be cool if it
takes place across the usa. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
California. Oh. I think a more force gun
running across the country kind of situation. It's like a rat race in an.
African rat race Cannabal Run. Yeah.
(18:44):
People trying to kill him. Dom DeLuise to show up and go. Like,
she brought a car that celebrates the pride of the LGBTQ
community with the rainbows in the front of it. I. I do like her.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, no. You just
hurt her ass. Was that on purpose? This might be. This might
be the baddest chick in Hollywood, bro. That's Furiosa.
(19:07):
She has an ass rash, bro. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah. This is dangerous.
I love this girl. Yeah, she's about to die. Like the.
The bride in Fury Road. This is something I like. This is like some
old or nothing right here. This is a really good chance, one. Shot to do
this. This is the first thing in the movie. I've been very impressed by this.
(19:29):
This sequence here. Oh, no. This reminds me of this Eric Estrada movie.
Light heart, Light beam, hard light. Light chase.
Was it hard? Yeah, we can sit at a few. Light. Light attack. What is
it called? That was hard light, right? Hard light. The hard light. Yeah. With the
dune buggy car. He was driving through the highway. No, like laser
blast. Laser beam, whatever.
(19:53):
Blaster. Blaster. I don't know why we keep that up, Chips.
Yeah, we know. We're talking about the light gun movie.
Light blast. Light blast. Of course, the.
The epic historic light blast. Because that opening was pretty cool.
Two people fogging and they get vaporized by a light gu. True.
That's true. By a clock. Always by a clock. Yeah, killed by a
(20:16):
clock, buddy. This is still going clock.
How many bullets do you have in that gun? Freddie Mercury. He's probably
reloading. Off scene, off screen. Maybe old 90s, 80s.
It looks like low rent. Jeffrey Jones.
You know this kid's gonna die. Epstein island once again, just putting
(20:38):
it out there. A little creepy. How does
a bus have a head on collision? That's what's going on here.
Yeah, he's doing the one thing I've always wanted to do. Oh, jump over.
Kill a bunch of kids. Jump over. Oh, okay. Jump over. Go off a
ramp like that. Oh, okay. You got to be more specific.
Oh, my God. They're dead.
(21:01):
They should be dead. That car is not built for that. Oh,
my God. Well, that one.
We got a good one. That was a good one. That was a. All those
kids should be burning alive. Right now because they're super stoked about what
happened. Are they burning alive right now? Oh, they're cheering. That was the rv.
Yeah, it was the rv. That was. But it was very close to the bus.
(21:23):
Not a good. Yeah, not a good commercial. Everybody's having a great time. Everybody loves
this. How did they survive that crash?
Nobody's helping. I don't know. Maybe she died. She should have
died out of it. He should be dead too. Get her, too.
Poor planning. Well, I guess they're dead. They're getting kidnapped.
(21:43):
Yeah. See you guys later. See you in third period.
Attention out of here, Ole Miss. What the you looking at?
It's just a crazy little thing called love. Crazy.
Pud. I'm gonna get my Nova out
of there. Excuse me, guys. I'm late for work. I want to say. Are these.
(22:06):
I think those guys were just pissed off. Like, get the. Out of my way
down the road. Guys don't give a About the exploding work man.
Or maybe they're a part of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe this
is like the start of like a. Maybe this is meta. It's a movie within
a movie. It's a film within a film where he mentioned she
should be a paraplegic. They both should be. They could both be a little.
(22:27):
A little bit more. They both should be hawking right now. Yeah.
He's getting blacker as the show goes along. Yeah.
Shooter. Shooter. Shooter.
It's too late for that. Too late. Get the out of here.
Waste them. Hey, Lead.
I guess he's not the main character. I don't.
(22:51):
Well, hell yeah.
I love Action usa. He can live from that. It could.
So I'm not going to count it yet.
Oh, this is a gunfight. This is a gun fight.
That is officially a gunfight. That is a gunfight. So that was the other car.
(23:12):
Look at that stunt. Holy. Yo, this.
You'll see that guy. Yeah. Dude. This must have been a fake guy.
Just keeps going. If this movie is. Just keeps going like this,
like from one to that. That would be fun. Yeah. She. She is
the bad. She should be the main character. She is awesome. She might be.
She might end up. She survived ass rash, AIDS. Yeah.
(23:34):
Car crashes, bullets,
explosions. Okay, well, this is 89. She might have it. It is 89.
She might have the HIV. Oh, of course
he is. I look like Booger from Nerds.
Oh, that's that actor. You've seen that actor. That's the.
This is, I think the always in Sunny Rob.
(23:57):
Yeah. The dad. The dad guy. The bad guy. Yeah. Holy.
We have always Sunny reference. He did slap her. She's been
punched. Slapped. Yeah. Domestic. Yeah. So not.
Not domestic. They don't know each other. Jordan Peele is part. I was just gonna
say he's like killer. Peel. Yeah.
Oh, I'm glad you said it first. Yeah, it's great. I'm holding
(24:19):
back. Even. Even. He gets confused sometimes. I was like, is his name Peel
or Keel? I forget. He gives off strong Kyle Reese vibes.
In Martin Riggs a little bit with the jacket. Little Martin Riggs.
Kyle Reese, kind of, you know, with the. With the mullet. But now he looks
a little bit, kind of, like, grimy right now. Like he needs to take a
(24:39):
shower. It's like, I'm FBI. I don't have time to shower. He looks like a
girl pretending to be a boy. You think? It's Agent Johnson and
Agent Johnson. Agent Johnson.
No relation.
So the guy is dead then? Because they just left his body. Yeah, they left
the body there, unless we see him later on.
You're not so lucky now,
(00:29):
See? But Billy Ray was the only one that really knew where the diamonds were.
Yeah. Hey, Billy Ray. Frankincense is greedy.
Now you have night walk,
motherfucker.
Clay. Oscar. I'm here to help you. Get off
(00:51):
of me. Tell him I
want the broad back here alive.
(01:14):
Boss called in Drago. He must want him bad. That's quite an outfit. When in
Texas, I dress like a Texan. All right.
Fight.
Find him. God damn it.
(01:47):
Hey, kids, this is the simplistic reviews. Look into D23.
No, I'm just with you. Nobody cares about D23. We're gonna delve into something even
more Americana, actual commentary for a movie called Action
USA for show purposes. I'm DJ Valentine, and I'm joined by two guys
who are always white, even after Labor Day. Matthew Stewart. Chesape Polizzi.
(02:07):
Hey, did we do this movie? I am white. We wear white.
No, we definitely did not do this movie. And number one, I usually always wear
white after Labor Day, but. But he forgot his hat at home.
Down with the man, if you know what I mean. Yeah, the man.
Action usa we definitely did not do.
Because what was the one with Chuck Norris? In the. In the mall Is
(02:31):
a prequel. Is this a prequel? Now? This is a
movie. It's a prequel of Action Park. I've always wanted Action Park.
Yeah, that's a hell of a documentary. Great film. New Jersey reference.
Exactly. If Jersey caught deep
cut people dying at a park.
Action USA is a movie I've always wanted to do. So we're
(02:54):
gonna do it. It is considered actually a really
fun movie to watch. And with a name as generic
as Action Action usa, you know, it's gonna be probably pretty fun.
There was also the video game. I believe it was called Action 96.
It was a NES. That's any I want to see. Yeah. And you.
(03:15):
You blow up. You blow up a giant Asian guy's head,
I think. Okay, that's racist. But I'm still in. But it was 96.
This came out in 89. Okay, I'm looking up
action 96 right now to see if I've ever owned this game.
Not for racist. Not many people. The COVID is just an A with
(03:36):
96. Yeah,
it's action Comics. Oh, God. I'm on the list now. It brought me to
a website. Now I'm on the Action list.
The record prove that he wanted to go to the store. I did. I.
I was just. Research purposes. Only research purposes. Okay.
(03:59):
And that's whatever you're always supposed to. Blow the bloody doors. That's why Stephen Hawking
was on the island. He was just trying to figure out the mathematical equation of
pedophilia. That's what he was doing there.
Yeah, he was too busy trying to figure out the mathematical equation of.
He should be able to. One of these women. Yeah. 16 minus
12 is just my number.
(04:21):
Oh, sorry, I forgot my robot voice. Sixteen minus four.
He might be 13 around the Earth. He's dead
and he's kind of paralyzed. And he was in Epstein Island.
He was up.
Everything. Matthew, I wasn't watching that film. Or as the rumors will say,
(04:41):
he wasn't there to be because he was. I heard the rumors where he was
faking it when he got that wheelchair. Like he's
building his time machine. Buddy. He was touched by the. So one day
this list is going to come out. We need a time machine to stop.
I need a video. I need videotapes of this list or this island.
Island. Well, I can tell you one thing. Action USA
(05:04):
is going to be a better videotape to pop in. I like it. And I'm
at the 0001 mark and I'm hitting the play button
right about now. Oh,
wow. Look at. I hope it's. It is.
I've never heard of this entertainment company.
Stewart. John Stewart. Related to Matthew Stewart.
(05:27):
Yeah. Of the Stewart. Oh my God. Film.
It's a steward. What are you gonna call this movie? I don't know. It takes
place in the USA and. It'S got a lot of it's action in it.
Works for Merricks, works for me. Hunter.
Yeah. Sleek one. Yeah.
Oh, I like this. I like this. So you know it takes place in Texas
(05:47):
probably. It's got the. What's it called?
The Cheeto Kid. I think it
was a Cheeto Kid. With the girl with the titties out and everything. It's like
this. Kids, remember, drink responsibly. Drink irresponsibly.
This movie already has everything I want on it. It's got. He's this. It's got.
(06:07):
Probably fingering her Corvette Stingrays. It's not
looking at the road as he's driving.
His engine is coming out. He's got metal playing. Caught stealing
with what's his name, the dune guy. It kind of has the same kind.
Of scene with Elvis. Yeah, with Elvis kind of has the same kind of thing.
He's with a guy though, not a girl.
(06:29):
She's kind of like 80s 90s hot. Oh wait, he got nice.
He's all about family guys. He's all about family. He's all about family.
He's got the nas. She's got that look, that no matter what, she's gonna have
a good. You can do whatever. You can stick a finger up the butthole.
Will Smith is in this movie. William Smith. Oh, you know
who William Smith is? You know. Yeah. Cameron Mitchell, of course.
(06:54):
Drago. Wait a minute. Rocky. Oh, this movie has it
all, buddy. This is a mashup.
Yeah. It's got rainbow.
He's in here.
This opening. This open scene, though, it's a nice shot. I'm liking the
shot. It's got a little John Frankenheimer vibe to it.
(07:17):
Del Cacher. Great music so far. You know, licensed music, but it's
good licensed music. Okay. All right. It's kind of like the end of every episode
of Alien Earth. It's fine. Yeah. David Risnick. Yeah.
Let's see. Let's go with our little game here. As we always like to play
the game. Yeah, let's play the game. So we'll start with explosions,
you know. All right. There's a lot of Action usa. We're going
(07:41):
to Action usa, guys. I mean, we're going basic with this.
With this stuff. We're not. We're not going to get cute. If I remember the
trailer, which I haven't seen in years, there is a
few explosions. Okay. What's your number, Matthew? Fourteen and
a half. Explosion. Fourteen under. I'm going under. Okay. That's a lot of money.
That's a lot of money. I mean. Yeah, but you know, this, this.
(08:04):
Mind you, this also has Cameron Mitchell in it. It is Texas,
though, and they blow up a lot of. In Texas.
What are you going with? I think down there. I think I'm just thinking about
how those titties are about to hit his stomach.
Everybody explodes. He might explode in a second. You might
have a pants explosion in his back pocket.
(08:26):
Oh, wow. He's covering the camera. He carried a. Carried a strap.
That's a big gun. That's like a.357. Grabbed a hold of that. You see that?
He sat in the car with a gun up his ass. He Other issues.
He's a man apologize. And he wears the sunglasses
inside. Yeah. Well, to. To be fair, he didn't get a chance to really
take him off. She was like, all over him immediately. I think there's going to
(08:47):
be a lot of explosions going over. Jesse, are you going to go over explosions
USA? Well, he said, I mean, it's still 14 and a half. He says
there's going to be a lot. But will there be more than. I don't know.
I don't think that's a lot of money. Explosions is a lot. I'm going to
go under. I'll go under. Both under. All right, next one. Gun fights.
He's a good, good old fan. Well, we already got a gun. He's about to
fight it. I know, but. And here's the thing. It can't be like, oh,
(09:10):
he locked the door. And that's. It's not to be individual. This can't be like.
If everybody's like, gun. They are fighting like titties already. So we got this.
What a movie. Guys.
Things. But this is bonus right here. Just. Okay,
titties. Ten and a half gunfights. Over,
over, over, over, over, over. Okay,
(09:32):
but I wanted to have the thing about that little. It has to be individual.
Not like a long one, but like. They have to be special needs children.
If it's like one big gunfight with like a soldiers,
that's one gunfight. Okay, I got you. I got you. I'm still going over.
I think. I don't know. It's called action usa. I'm going over. I think
we're have a bunch. Yeah. But there could be like, more car. This could be
(09:55):
the biggest letdown in my life, by the way. Yeah. You know when you watch
a gunfight, you kind of know the beginning in the end, we kind of know
when the. A new gunfight has erupted. Like there's gonna be a gunfight here happening.
He's got the gun. So somebody's gonna break in this house. Because that's what we're
focusing on. The door. The door. Yeah, yeah. They come in, he's gonna have
to have a gunfight. That's how Hitchcock did it. And this leads me to.
Yeah, exactly. Learned from the best. Hide the bomb underneath the table.
(10:19):
Oh, my God. John Stewart of the Green Lantern corpse,
by the way. It's true. Well, he didn't reach for the gun. But the first
thing you're gonna say, right? Yeah. Who the hell are these guys?
This. Oh, I'll cut a deal. I'm gonna cut you open.
Oh, hell yeah. Low rent Freddie Mercury Punching
(10:41):
wow. Low red. Freddie Mercury is a spousal abuser. Yeah, he is.
He dropped a hard one on her face.
Reversal. Yeah, that's double misogyny.
Go. And the brand new Chrysler LeBaron.
I don't know, I just made it up. Chevrolet something.
(11:05):
It looks too classy for them, though. Well, they are crooks
or they Are thugs. Maybe kills here.
Oh, kills. Okay. Nobody's dead yet. 45 and a half over.
I'm going over. All right, I'm going over. I think the gunfights
are going to lay a lot of people in the ground. All right, 45 and
(11:27):
a half. 45. 45 spot. And kids count as two.
Remember that? Yeah, it's kind of a standard rule here. Well, there's no kids
in this. Oh, damn it. I don't know. I don't know.
Hopefully there's some kids watching. Hopefully there's some kids. I mean, we did get some
kids in. We did get a kid death in the last movie commentary.
That was. That was shocking. One right in the head.
(11:48):
Yeah. I would say.
I'll go under. Okay, well,
that's good. We're. We're gonna get a. I wanna. I wanna get a winner.
We're gonna get a winner here. We're gonna. Helicopter explosion get. Let's get this.
Keep our eyes out for the helicopter explosions, guys. No one say anything
(12:10):
about Liam Neeson. No. Because last
movie commentary we did there. I have been editing
all my life. Yes. Probably since the age of 13. 14.
Right. I've never had to deal with what happened in the last
podcast editing. It was perfect. It worked great.
(12:30):
I added Liam Neeson and got up and
corrupted. Everything. Got corrupted. Everything had to be re. Edited. I had to
reit that podcast three. Times because the word Liam Neeson.
No, I added that video in the beginning and.
Oh, that's what it just went.
He heard you. No niece in this podcast. No, no, no, no, no,
(12:54):
no. Not even. Put in Pamela Anderson instead. Put Pam Anderson instead.
They dropped this guy. That would be a hell of an opening.
Have we seen a different illustration from a helicopter before? This is. This is pretty
cool, actually. Oh, I thought he dropped him right there.
I thought he dropped him. He's holding him.
(13:15):
He's just holding him by the little bit of the bottom of his. That's a
hell of a shoelace Uglot, or whatever it's called.
He. Little tiny little tip, you know,
That's a cool stunt. That's a really good one, too.
He's. And he's high up enough. Yeah. I mean, this is a good woman.
This is a good woman. She's trying to save you, man. She catches this
(13:36):
guy, she got punched. In the face hard, and she's still trying
to save you. Marry that chick to put a shirt on.
Shirt on, bro. It would have been more better. Kind of look like an awesome.
She's driving naked just Driving naked on the street. Oh, yeah. I gotta save my.
He's flying in the wind. She just put her shirt back on. I noticed.
Yeah, man. Looks like he's only tied
(13:57):
like. They look like he's like hit his foot there. This is a great
commercial for Levi's Strauss jeans. These jeans will keep you
hanging from. They'll always be there for you. They will always be there.
Always. Keep your jeans on. Yeah, man, keep your pants on.
See, they want to get mad about this. If this is Sydney Sweeney,
they want to get. Oh, perhaps you're wondering why you shoot. A man before
(14:19):
throwing him out of an airplane.
Be very painful for you. What happens if
I take that mask off? Very painful. He's gonna fly the helicopter.
He said I can't leave without my. My World War II commemoration cap.
Yeah. It's a proud veteran.
Vietnam. It only happened once. Vietnam, man.
(14:41):
This was mine. He made it. He didn't die. He didn't die.
I took the poison. Didn't kill me. This is a
good woman. Marry this woman. Unless you hit a
car. It's called curbside service, my friends. Hey,
honey, what's going on? This was shot in California. It looked like he had a
California hat on. It's true. Fire, rescue.
(15:04):
His first complaint was, honey, why wouldn't you bring the other car? The faster.
Oh, they're low on fuel, by the way. Oh, helicopter explosion.
Helicopter explosion. Dude, in the beginning.
I don't know how. Hold on. 10 minutes in. Figure never getting helicopters
doing this thing. It's three people on that copter. Just make sure, you know,
three in the cop. There's one in this car. That guy looks like he had
(15:26):
his. His window. His windshield was already pre broken for him. You didn't
see that. Look, look over there. Elephant elephants.
Yeah, this guy's car. Nobody broke that windshield. Look over there.
Get the hell out of this car here. Hey, buddy,
welcome to Texas. I know
it's Texas. He had like a California hat. He had like Dolly Parton in
(15:49):
the car with him. Dolly Parton. I was gon dime store Madonna, but. All right,
it looked like a dime star. Thomas Hayden, Church and dime store.
He looks like Sideways Thomas. Yeah,
I ain't drinking no Merlot. That Merlot don't drink that
merlot. Isn't he drinking wine
(16:10):
out of like a bucket? That spitzoon or something? Yeah, when he. When he goes.
When old Paul Giamatti goes crazy. Goes crazy.
You think this is the hero throughout the entire movie? I think
this is. These are all going to be the only Four characters. It's all they
can afford in the usa. I mean, Cameron Mitchell's just credited to
(16:32):
be credited, because he was like, can you just throw my name on there for
good now? This is 89. You think
he's going to be sitting the entire time? Kevin Mitchell. I guarantee you he's not
gonna leave. Mitchell. I think he might be in one location the entire. That might
be a bonus question because he might will. Cameron Mitchell.
That's a. That's 89. He. He might be sitting the
(16:53):
entire time. Oh. Oh, well, this would.
He isn't. If he fires back, it's one. If he
fires back, it's one. He hasn't got a gunfight. He does. Yeah. I don't know.
He did. Do you think they let him keep his gun on him when they
were throwing. That's the girlfriend brought. The girlfriend could have brought it. Dude.
She brings guns and a car.
(17:15):
Marry this chick, man. She's got everything. Toyota Tacoma,
Toyota. Drive time. I guess it was
more TV when they would always blank out stuff because it was a man sponsor
of, like a. A tv. Oh, dude, he just hits his head.
I think Matt nailed it. This guy looks just like Freddie Mercury,
(17:38):
man. Freaky Freddie Mercury. I think we're gonna kill you, man.
We're gonna kill you with my voice, man. Does that ever work?
This yelling, hey, stop. And that's not gonna stop. It never works.
Never works.
This is like John. This is like Frankenheimer. This is straight up Ronin going
on right now. I like this right here. I like this. It's a good idea.
(18:01):
You put. Just put the camera, like, on a little RV car. Yeah, man.
Let's put it right in the front. Save money.
I mean, that's pretty good. I mean, for this type of movie.
It's pretty well done. That's pretty cool, dude. And do it.
Give me a little bit of vertical. I think I might throw up. But,
I mean, there is action. I would have changed. It is in usa, Matthew.
(18:22):
It is. Yeah. Or usa Texas. Okay.
Technically, way better than the usa. It'd be cool if it
takes place across the usa. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
California. Oh. I think a more force gun
running across the country kind of situation. It's like a rat race in an.
African rat race Cannabal Run. Yeah.
(18:44):
People trying to kill him. Dom DeLuise to show up and go. Like,
she brought a car that celebrates the pride of the LGBTQ
community with the rainbows in the front of it. I. I do like her.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, no. You just
hurt her ass. Was that on purpose? This might be. This might
be the baddest chick in Hollywood, bro. That's Furiosa.
(19:07):
She has an ass rash, bro. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah. This is dangerous.
I love this girl. Yeah, she's about to die. Like the.
The bride in Fury Road. This is something I like. This is like some
old or nothing right here. This is a really good chance, one. Shot to do
this. This is the first thing in the movie. I've been very impressed by this.
(19:29):
This sequence here. Oh, no. This reminds me of this Eric Estrada movie.
Light heart, Light beam, hard light. Light chase.
Was it hard? Yeah, we can sit at a few. Light. Light attack. What is
it called? That was hard light, right? Hard light. The hard light. Yeah. With the
dune buggy car. He was driving through the highway. No, like laser
blast. Laser beam, whatever.
(19:53):
Blaster. Blaster. I don't know why we keep that up, Chips.
Yeah, we know. We're talking about the light gun movie.
Light blast. Light blast. Of course, the.
The epic historic light blast. Because that opening was pretty cool.
Two people fogging and they get vaporized by a light gu. True.
That's true. By a clock. Always by a clock. Yeah, killed by a
(20:16):
clock, buddy. This is still going clock.
How many bullets do you have in that gun? Freddie Mercury. He's probably
reloading. Off scene, off screen. Maybe old 90s, 80s.
It looks like low rent. Jeffrey Jones.
You know this kid's gonna die. Epstein island once again, just putting
(20:38):
it out there. A little creepy. How does
a bus have a head on collision? That's what's going on here.
Yeah, he's doing the one thing I've always wanted to do. Oh, jump over.
Kill a bunch of kids. Jump over. Oh, okay. Jump over. Go off a
ramp like that. Oh, okay. You got to be more specific.
Oh, my God. They're dead.
(21:01):
They should be dead. That car is not built for that. Oh,
my God. Well, that one.
We got a good one. That was a good one. That was a. All those
kids should be burning alive. Right now because they're super stoked about what
happened. Are they burning alive right now? Oh, they're cheering. That was the rv.
Yeah, it was the rv. That was. But it was very close to the bus.
(21:23):
Not a good. Yeah, not a good commercial. Everybody's having a great time. Everybody loves
this. How did they survive that crash?
Nobody's helping. I don't know. Maybe she died. She should have
died out of it. He should be dead too. Get her, too.
Poor planning. Well, I guess they're dead. They're getting kidnapped.
(21:43):
Yeah. See you guys later. See you in third period.
Attention out of here, Ole Miss. What the you looking at?
It's just a crazy little thing called love. Crazy.
Pud. I'm gonna get my Nova out
of there. Excuse me, guys. I'm late for work. I want to say. Are these.
(22:06):
I think those guys were just pissed off. Like, get the. Out of my way
down the road. Guys don't give a About the exploding work man.
Or maybe they're a part of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe this
is like the start of like a. Maybe this is meta. It's a movie within
a movie. It's a film within a film where he mentioned she
should be a paraplegic. They both should be. They could both be a little.
(22:27):
A little bit more. They both should be hawking right now. Yeah.
He's getting blacker as the show goes along. Yeah.
Shooter. Shooter. Shooter.
It's too late for that. Too late. Get the out of here.
Waste them. Hey, Lead.
I guess he's not the main character. I don't.
(22:51):
Well, hell yeah.
I love Action usa. He can live from that. It could.
So I'm not going to count it yet.
Oh, this is a gunfight. This is a gun fight.
That is officially a gunfight. That is a gunfight. So that was the other car.
(23:12):
Look at that stunt. Holy. Yo, this.
You'll see that guy. Yeah. Dude. This must have been a fake guy.
Just keeps going. If this movie is. Just keeps going like this,
like from one to that. That would be fun. Yeah. She. She is
the bad. She should be the main character. She is awesome. She might be.
She might end up. She survived ass rash, AIDS. Yeah.
(23:34):
Car crashes, bullets,
explosions. Okay, well, this is 89. She might have it. It is 89.
She might have the HIV. Oh, of course
he is. I look like Booger from Nerds.
Oh, that's that actor. You've seen that actor. That's the.
This is, I think the always in Sunny Rob.
(23:57):
Yeah. The dad. The dad guy. The bad guy. Yeah. Holy.
We have always Sunny reference. He did slap her. She's been
punched. Slapped. Yeah. Domestic. Yeah. So not.
Not domestic. They don't know each other. Jordan Peele is part. I was just gonna
say he's like killer. Peel. Yeah.
Oh, I'm glad you said it first. Yeah, it's great. I'm holding
(24:19):
back. Even. Even. He gets confused sometimes. I was like, is his name Peel
or Keel? I forget. He gives off strong Kyle Reese vibes.
In Martin Riggs a little bit with the jacket. Little Martin Riggs.
Kyle Reese, kind of, you know, with the. With the mullet. But now he looks
a little bit, kind of, like, grimy right now. Like he needs to take a
(24:39):
shower. It's like, I'm FBI. I don't have time to shower. He looks like a
girl pretending to be a boy. You think? It's Agent Johnson and
Agent Johnson. Agent Johnson.
No relation.
So the guy is dead then? Because they just left his body. Yeah, they left
the body there, unless we see him later on.
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