July 29, 2025 • 61 mins
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Thanks to Vicky AND Mayken for commissioning this episode!
This is a section that makes me frustrated, but not quite as frustrated as the next one, which you shall be seeing for yourself shortly. All we need to know at this time is that Ilyan was targeted by someone, and they nearly got the job done without a trace. Who could it be?
Thanks so much to you all for listening, and I will see you soon with a new episode!
Wanna talk spoilers? Join the Discord! https://discord.gg/rEF2KfZxfV
Thanks to Vicky AND Mayken for commissioning this episode!
This is a section that makes me frustrated, but not quite as frustrated as the next one, which you shall be seeing for yourself shortly. All we need to know at this time is that Ilyan was targeted by someone, and they nearly got the job done without a trace. Who could it be?
Thanks so much to you all for listening, and I will see you soon with a new episode!
Wanna talk spoilers? Join the Discord! https://discord.gg/rEF2KfZxfV
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering the more Kosagan Saga Memory chapters twenty and twenty one.
In these chapters, it turns out there was a specific
(00:23):
attack on Ilien. I still think it's Lisa. I still
think it's Lisa. I still think it's Lisa. And maybe
I'm wrong, and if I am, fine, but I need
somebody to consider her. I need somebody to be worried
(00:45):
about her at all, just for my own peace of mind.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to spoil Me.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Welcome to the show everyone.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I am Natasha.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'm trying to decide who to credit for this episode
because today's episode, strictly speaking, was booked by VICKI what
the episode I was supposed to record on Tuesday was
booked by Macon and I wasn't able to record Tuesday.
So does this count as Tuesday's episode? Or does tomorrow's
(01:34):
episode count as Tuesday's episode? Either way, thank you to Vicen,
Vicky and Macon. Thank you too, Vicen and Maky.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Those are your shipper names.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
That's what I'm gonna call you. But yeah, I appreciate
you guys bearing with me with my internet being gone,
and I am going to be recording at the same
time tomorrow to make up the episode that I missed
this week. So hopefully y'all are able to make it.
Hopefully y'all are able to make it.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Vicky is here.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Hi, Sorry about that, Vicky.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So I have read this section twice.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I found this like a really compelling section, which I
know that not everybody agrees with my feelings regarding Slice
of Life moments, but this is something that comes up
frequently with shows like One Piece, but frankly does apply
to like all fiction. When you have characters that are
(02:40):
frequently in a state of dealing with something that is
high action or high stress, you know, they're in situations
that are very, very urgent. A lot of the time,
I get enormous enjoyment out of getting to see those
characters chill out for a minute, getting to see them
(03:04):
take a step back from all of that constant chaos
and just exist and have a conversation with somebody, and
because like there's a sense of them that can come
through when they are relaxed that you just don't get
at other times, and you learn about what relaxes them
(03:24):
as well. Of course, it's not always going to be
necessarily accurate because of the circumstances.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Of why they are where they are.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
With Ilian, it's sort of interesting for me because, like
I think he might have been able to relax, he
in this first of the two chapters in a way
that he isn't able to hear due to his concerns
about his own memory. They're making him obviously very like.
(03:57):
I don't want to use the word paranoid, because that
feels there's a certain stigma to the use of the
word paranoia that makes it sound as if the way
somebody is feeling isn't valid and his concerns are one valid.
So I don't want to say that, but he's certainly
(04:19):
very preoccupied by it.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Whether or not an alien who was not in a
position of this sort of precarious mental state, would he
have had more enjoyment with these with the fishing expedition,
or would it still not have really hit Is he
(04:42):
somebody who was ever able to really relax. I don't
know what kind of relaxation he's ever had, he's ever
been able to achieve, considering the the nature of a
chip in his head, which I feel like if you
are able to call up memories with complete clarity and
(05:06):
no mistakes. Probably that will infringe on your ability to relax.
And also, if you are somebody in charge of the
whole security apparatus for a whole planet, probably that also
is going to keep you from being able to relax.
So I'm not really sure what if what we're seeing
(05:30):
in this chapter is like what he'd ordinarily be like
or not.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I'm real curious.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
About it, though, So anyway, I just when I'm brought
up one piece before one piece. Frequently will have like
an arc that ends with once the bad guys are
defeated or whatever, everybody has a big party. They all eat,
they get drunk, They follows on the street with the
(06:02):
new friends they've made, and frequently those can be like
my favorite episodes because everybody is so chill and just
having a great time, and you get to see their
characters at their most relaxed. And this was a very
fun I hesitate to use that word, but I will.
This is a very fun departure from the tone of
(06:25):
this entire series. Frankly, there are a few moments where
our friends do get to like genuinely chill, but they
are so few and far between and oftentimes they're chilling,
Like for example, when Miles earlier this book is with
(06:51):
Torah on that flight, one could argue that is them chilling, right,
But there is so much much anxiety surrounding his seizures
and him lying on the report and being called back
so suddenly and weirdly, all of it was giving me
(07:12):
a type of anxiety that it kept this from feeling like.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And also I was very annoyed with.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Him for fucking Torah still, so it kind of negated
that for me. But here, even though we are waiting on.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The results of whether or not it was.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
A targeted hit on Alien's chip, I was very much
in a place where I felt like, whether it was
or not, it's done now. And sure, if it was,
you are going to have to cope with that. But
it didn't give me that sense of like impending doom
that worrying about Miles's career choices.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And lies was giving me.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
So I was able to really like relax here. Three
days before Countess were Kosiga was due to arrive at
the Capitol, Myles's nerve broke and he decided to flee
to Vorkosig in Surlough. He had neither hope nor truly
desire to avoid her altogether on her visit home. He
(08:20):
just wasn't quite ready to face her yet.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Maybe a couple of days.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
In the quiet of the country would help him marshal
his courage. Besides, it would be good security for Ilien.
Out in that thinly populated area where strangers were immediately noticed,
it was easier to spot trouble coming shore miles. Tell
yourself whatever you need to. It's it's fine. You don't
have to justify yourself to me. You can just want
(08:44):
to not be immediately available to your mother, and that,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I love your mom.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I hate that you feel this way, but I do
get it so fine. And Ilian isn't like psychedic it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It's just very clear Alien is distracted.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But also you really do get the sense he's just
an indoor boy. He's just this isn't this isn't really
his scene, you know. So anyway, they head down there
and it resulted in a RESTful afternoon tea taken on
the long front porch of the lake house. It was
(09:27):
impossible to stay tense in the warm afternoon, sitting in
the shade and gazing down over the green lawn to
the sparkling stretch of water cradled in the hills. The
autumn trees were almost denuded of their colorful leaves, which
opened up the view, and the demands of digestion cured
the viewer of any remaining residue of ambition. I cannot
(09:51):
emphasize enough how much I want to have a leisurely
afternoon tea on the front porch of a great house
during autumn, overlooking a sparkling lake. I don't think that's
too much to ask, Universe. If you could arrange that,
(10:15):
I'd appreciate it. I would love very specifically, let's say Massachusetts,
big bed and breakfast, wrap around front porch lake autumn
weaves a high tea, black tea, please. I've gone to
a few high tea's recently lately, not recently, but like in.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
The past few years.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
They're serving these like fruity herbal concour No, it's afternoon tea.
You want to pick me up of caffeine? What are
we doing anyway? Delicacies? I want this type of mo
cost of cooking. Okay, there's a mention of a spiced
(10:58):
peach tart. Another point, there's just a variety of things
that I'd be interested in. And if on that trip
I am also able to sample some maple mead, I
wouldn't be against it. We could just wrap it all
up in the same little experience.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Let's do that excursion.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, So thank you Universe for listening to my petition.
Please do what you need to.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Do, and I will enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
When it arrives, I will be expecting it promptly. So
Illian starts off the conversation about that's where Captain Negri died,
isn't it the opening shot of the war? Testing his memory,
and as he's talking about this with Miles and sort
(11:53):
of filling in parts of this story, he is realizing
that he remembers the emotions behind certain moments a lot
more than the actual facts, which he finds really weird.
And Miles has to kind of be like, that's how
most of us tend to remember things. Is like feeling
(12:16):
the intense emotions and the flashes of a moment, but
we don't get the crystal clear detail, you know. But
obviously it's one thing to be like, well, that's how
most people are, That's not how he's been and telling
him that's how most people are. It doesn't help. It's
(12:38):
not doing anything, you know. There's a moment where he asks,
I wonder what Lady Alice is doing today, and I'm like,
I bet you do.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Wonder.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Apparently she told them yesterday, and Miles repeats it, and
he's thinking to himself like, she told us both that yesterday,
and he's taking this as sort of like, oh, there's
his memory slipping.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I just want to point.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Out there's another point at which this kind of happens also,
But I just want to point out Lady Alice told
them that yesterday. Unclear to me if that's still correct
for today, which is what Alien asked about specifically. Maybe
(13:25):
yesterday she was saying, here's what.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I'm going to be doing tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
But I just thought, maybe it's not as bad as.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It sounds, Myles.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I don't know. We'll see there's a whole there's another
thing later, and I'll bring that up when it comes up.
So this is when Ilian is like, all right, so, uh,
we're a gentleman on a country weekend.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
What are we gonna do?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Miles asked if he likes horseback riding. He's like, nah,
your grandpa made me learn. But it's not my thing.
Miles mentioned swimming, but it's like pretty cold right now,
and then Miles brings up fishing. He says, that sounds
sedate enough. Tradition is you take the local beer from
(14:12):
the village. There's a woman there who home bruis it
extraordinary stuff, and hang the bottles over the side of
the boat to stay cold. When the beer gets too
warm to drink.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It's too hot to fish. What season is that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Never, as far as I could tell, let us by
all means, observe tradition, said Ilian gravely. And we get
a wonderful chapter of the two of them chilling, drinking beer,
talking and not getting any fish until eventually Miles literally
(14:48):
bombs them. Which is it turns out the most common
way of fishing to those who aren't voar, because they
don't have all goddamn day to sit on their asses
and hang around drinking beer, and they need to get
it done. Oftentimes they were poaching, so they had to
get their fish as quickly as they could and get
(15:09):
the fuck out. And Alien says it would be more
like a steakhoat if the fish were armed and could
fire back. If fish for men, what kind of bait
would they use? And Miles thinks about hook on the
(15:29):
shoreline that has a spiced.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Peach tart on it, and I was like, yeah, that'd work,
that'd work on me.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And Miles says, what kind of bait did you used
to use? And Alien tells this incredible story about a
prime minister Vrtala who was in negotiations with Napoleons.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I think is how you pronounce them and.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
They are like, well, what is something you've always wanted?
And Bro says, I've always wanted an which Ilian is
sort of like I don't know if he was genuinely
asking for an elephant or if he was telling us
something that he was positive we would never be able
to get our hands on, Like was he just trying
(16:19):
to set us up? You know? And they do wind
up tracking down a small elephant for him, and it
seems like maybe that is genuinely what he wanted, because
this guy like keeps it and bathes it and you know,
eventually takes it home with him. So I just really
(16:45):
enjoyed that story. Like, if somebody is asking you, they're
really wanting to like do something specific, and they're asking you,
why wouldn't you just tell them the wildest thing, you know,
be specific and make it a challenge, sure, and then just.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
See what happens.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
There's no reason that you can't necessarily get.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
What you want. I love it also the idea that
like elephants are this rare. It could be both due to.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
The fact that elephants are an Earth species and Earth
is very different now and maybe there aren't that many
left period on Earth, or it could be that there
aren't any left anywhere. Like, I'm just curious whether or
not that there was like a particular issue with them
(17:36):
becoming more sparse than they even are now, or if
it's just the fact it's a big galaxy and we
have to go to one specific planet and hope that
they will sell us one. You know, it's sort of
interesting to me to think about. Like we've heard mention
of how Barrier has trees that are native to Earth
(17:58):
planted on it, and there are there's just a sense
of them terraforming this planet to make it feel akin
to Earth. Not that these people know Earth and are
trying to get that feel back because it's something that
they miss or anything.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
It's just like I'm assuming.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Considered ideal for human beings, the overall climate and everything.
So let's try and get that, get our climate as
similar to the one we're native to as we can.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
That's what I'm assuming. But I wonder if there are.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Zoos where like on every planet where they are working
on keeping certain populations of animals alive and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So let's see, I'm trying to find the spot that
I left off. Sorry, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Oh, so Miles is thinking about his own motivations. He
was unexpected unexcited by money because he had never felt
its lack mark. By contrast, was in his own, quiet,
way downright greedy power. Miles had no hankering for the
imperium or anything like it. But it itched like fire
(19:17):
when others had power over him. That wasn't less for power.
That was fear, fear of what being made victim, of
their incompetence, being destroyed for a mutant, if he couldn't
constantly prove his superiority. It was a bit of that underneath,
well quite a lot really. And then identity, that's my elephant.
(19:43):
The thought came with certainty, without the question mark on
the end. This time, not fame exactly, though recognition was
some kind of important cement for it. But what you
were was what you did and I did more. Oh yes,
if a hunger for our identity we're translated into, say,
a hunger for food, he'd be a more fantastic glutton
(20:05):
than Mark had ever dreamed of being. Is it a
rational to want to be so much? To want so
hard it hurts? And how much then was enough? And
I definitely get this, not fame exactly, the recognition was
(20:27):
some kind of important cement for it. I really understand this,
and it's a difficult thing to sort of like to
really explain. And also for me, I have this weird
position that I'm in where I'm a performer and I
have a difficulty in knowing who I am when people
(20:52):
aren't watching.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So much of the whole way.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
That I operate and move through the world is based
on the way that other people perceive me. But when
other people are taken out of the equation than what
you know, and I don't like even something like doing
(21:17):
my weight workouts. I have my husband sometimes just come
into the room with me and we put on an
audiobook and listen together, and I will do my weight
workout with him in the room because it helps for
somebody to be observing.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Me at all. It makes me focus more to be
observed why, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's just a it's an odd thing, and so this
preoccupation that he has with like, yes, I do things,
but I also want people to see it and know,
partially just to prove yourself yes.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
But also wanting to be.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Known as a thing, helping you to believe that you
are that thing. It's odd, you know, I don't know,
And it's like it's definitely not exactly the same for
both me and Miles, but there is something here that's
really like resonating for me. And I mean I've talked
about it before that one of the first questions my
(22:24):
therapist asked me back when I was still going and
could afford it, was who are you when nobody is looking?
And I literally just stared into space, feeling like somebody
had turned out the lights in my head. It was
like the depth of the question was so profound that
(22:51):
just the existence of the question brought me up totally
short and had me It was like a bell that
had gone off in my brain and was still echoing.
And I still don't really know the answer.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I still don't.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
It's been like six years since she asked me that,
and I think about it all the time. So anyway,
this is why he says, you were what you did, Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
What you do may.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Depend on who's around you, and not necessarily in a
way that's making that action cowardly. I think that when
you say what you do depends on who's around you.
It's very easy to picture a situation where it's like
I would stand up for a friend if I weren't
surrounded by people who disagreed with me, something where not
(23:57):
doing the thing that you know is right just because
people wouldn't agree with you is seen as an inherently
cowardly you know, like you're abandoning the just correct course.
But I don't think it's that simple. Sometimes it's simply
not appropriate to engage in battle depending on who you
(24:21):
are with, the nature of the battle whatever. That depends
on things as well, you know, pick your battles, as they.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Say, And so it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
It's an interesting question. So Ilian throughout this section, what
he keeps coming up with is like, I don't know
if there are really fish here.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I think there might not be.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
And it becomes obvious as this chapter goes on that
he is bored. It's so funny because eventually he says
something like.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Why why are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
This doesn't seem efficient, and Miles is like, no, it's
not meant to be efficient. I think it's designed so
that you just sit around and drink beer, and obviously
this is just not his jam Ilian is sort of
like Miles in this way where he needs to be
doing things all the time, and so just sitting I
(25:25):
understand this. It's not like I can't get into it.
When I really let myself just fucking chill, I can
get very into it, but it takes me a certain headspace.
I need to really be assured it's okay for me
to zone out, you know what I mean. And I
(25:46):
have a hard time getting here. So Miles is trying
to tell him, like, you're still rehabilitating, you need to
be a little bit more pati and Alien is like, well,
it hasn't helped, and he says, yes it has. I've
been tracking you at that game that they play one up,
(26:08):
and you're definitely improving. And Alien had thought Miles and
Lady Alice have been letting him win. So for a minute,
he's like, that's nice to hear, actually, but then he's like,
it's still not enough for me to like go back
to doing what I used to do, though, And let's see,
(26:34):
there is an edge to a performance. When you've balanced
on that edge, played at the very top of your form,
you can't go back to anything less to invert your
mother's old saying anything that can't be done well is
not worth doing and running impsect is about as far
from play as anything.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
There are too many other people's lives on the line
every day, and I you know, first of all, anything
it can't be done well is not worth doing is
a bold face lie. But we are also talking about
something that isn't like creativity. We're talking about national security.
And I can understand that thinking here. And eventually he
(27:18):
gets to the point where he's like, well, I mean,
at least Gregor is grown.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
We've gotten him.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
To adulthood, and he is a very capable leader, so
maybe that is something that's an achievement. But I'd have
liked if I could have been involved in everything up
until at least he got married. And Miles is like,
oh yeah, but then you know, they'd be like getting
them settled in and getting her accustomed to being very
(27:47):
aren and then there would be her being pregnant and
the birth of the child, and then we'd have to
guard the air and the whole. Like.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
He doesn't say all.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Of that, but it's basically him being like, there's always
another crisis, there's always another reason. There's never a good
time to step back and retire. And Ilian does admit this,
and finally Lilian says, I know how much the Dindari
meant to you. I'm pleased you survived. He did not
(28:16):
say I'm sorry. Miles noted he shouldn't, and he acknowledges
that right away Miles disaster had been a self inflicted wound. Yes,
he doesn't need to say he's sorry. He did his
fucking job. Miles like, why would he apologize? And Miles
(28:38):
basically says, I got a second chance at life and
I wasn't gonna throw that away. So and then Ilian's like,
what about Quinn, do you think that, like you not
being may Smith anymore, she'd still be into it. And
Miles is like, Ah, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna
(29:03):
have to see again. And then he says there is
some convincing evidence I was slowing down too much to
play a moving target much longer. My favorite missions lately
scarcely engaged any military force.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You were getting frigging clever is.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
All, though even a war of maneuver requires a credible
force to maneuver with. I liked the winning that I
really liked. Ilian chucked his bottle into the box with
the rest of the empties and leaned over to squint
down into the lake water, and Miles mentions the uh
(29:40):
fact that the first thing he isn't able to outsmart
is his own body, which Ilian is like, yeah, taken
from within, like many fortresses. And then this is when
Miles brings up the bombing of the fish, finds out
alien has a stuff on him which they didn't know.
(30:01):
He was armed, and I love that that alien's armed.
And Miles had no idea if anything. Alien is like,
you're not armed, dude, what the fuck you're slipping?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So he uses the pack from the stunner.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
It's not that he doesn't chuck the star in there,
but he kind of rigs the power cartridge and chucks
it in. It blows up underwater, which causes one of
the guards on shore to be like ah, what is happening?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And be very worried for a second, and then.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Five fish in total pop up. The smallest was a
half meter long, the largest nearly two thirds of a meter.
Salmon and lake trout, including one that must have been
lurking down there since myles grandfather's day. As somebody who
loves salmon so much, and trout can be very salmony,
(31:04):
I am very jealous. Salmon is so expensive, and I
eat it as often as I can.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I am.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It's one of those things that I'm just like, it's
worth it.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Shut up, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
So they gather up the fish, and I loved this
so much. Ah, Martin Miles carold, in a tone of
voice that would have made the more experienced I then
turn and run. Take these to your mother. He unloaded
(31:38):
his burden into the appalled young man's arms, and do
what she tells you to do with them. Here, Simon,
smiling blandly, Illian handed over his own dead fishes.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Thank you, Martin.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
They left Martin ruthlessly, not even looking back at his plate,
and plaintive, my lord, I love the detail too.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
It's very likely.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Martin was coming down to try and see if he
could take the boat out onto the lake for a
little bit. So like, not only are they landing him
with this job, but they're doing it instead of the
fun thing that he was hoping to get to do,
which like, honestly, I can't even be to He's very young.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
And this is his job.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
It's fine, but I did feel a little bit bad
for him. And yeah, this is cooked up by Macosta
into this incredible meal. And it turns out that in
the past Miles had fished and thought he was doing
(32:41):
this like macho thing, and then realized that his mother
is super used to that protein only, and so eating
food like this that's been like fresh caught or actual
animals that were killed makes her really uncomfortable. And that
(33:04):
makes total sense. But when I got guys, it didn't
even occur to me. I'm figuring that protein is to
make up the difference for when you can't get access
to real, actual living animal protein. And like the point
of that protein is that it does all the same
(33:26):
things that animal live animals, like it's bred from the
same structure of DNA and everything, So the point is
that it doesn't there's I don't want to say that
(33:46):
there's no difference but I thought of it as something
sort of like the way that one would use soy
to stretch ground meat, you know, in taco bell meat.
I think it's something like sixty percent soy, and it's
all seasoned and there's enough meat in there so that
(34:09):
it makes it all taste like its meat, but it's
fucking not. It's stretched out with something way cheaper. And
that's sort of how I imagined that protein. And being
reminded that, like, no, that's like considered the sanitary and
(34:30):
humane way to eat, I kind of get where she's
coming from here. I really understand that it's just U
I personally can't imagine the flavor profile being as good.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Maybe it is, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
So anyway, Miles made his glass of wine las it
was a strange, unfamiliar sensation to be truly relaxed, not
going anywhere. And as soon as he thinks this, Martin
comes in and is like, hey, there's somebody on the
(35:12):
calm console and it turns out that it's a bac
Lie and he wants to see Miles. And when Miles
is like, whoa, what about midnight tonight, A Vacla doesn't
protest and Miles is like, oh, boy, this is gonna
be a hole. If he's fine with that, it's urgent.
So they meet up at midnight. Now this is one
(35:33):
of the moments that I felt like, so Ilien comes
with and a Vaclae is sort.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Of like, oh, why did you bring him?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And Miles was like, he fucking deserves to know what's
going on. And then let's see, uh, my Lord Auditor,
General Hero's gentleman, Chief Ilion.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I don't expect it.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
What comes in any real surprise to you that we
have found the damage to Chief Ilien's idetic neural implant
to have been an artificially created event. Miles, you know,
had sort of at this point started to think maybe
it was natural, but is just.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
A boy, okay?
Speaker 1 (36:22):
And Avaccla is like, we don't know that it's deliberate sabotage,
but artificially created for sure, and he hands it over
to doctor Weddle here, who Miles observes is just as
smug and annoying as normal, and he explains that there
(36:43):
is a there is this creature that was introduced to
his system that eats the proteins of this chip manufactures
a proteolytic enzyme that breaks down the protein matrix found
(37:07):
in the identic chip and several related galactric neuro enhancement applications.
It destroys that and nothing else after absorbing the nutrients
it reproduces and eventually it self destructs, which he says,
if it had been left another week before we took
the chip out, I wouldn't have been able to piece
(37:29):
together that this had happened at all.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
There would be.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Nothing left which heros who had not been the one
to make the decision to remove the chip. He is
extremely acutely aware that had he been left to his devices,
they would not have been able to prove that this
was sabotage at all. And he is really feeling a
bit of a way about that whoever made this did
(37:55):
not begin from scratch. This is a modification of an
existing patented organism. The Galactic patent code is a legitimate
medical application, bore no identifications of laboratories of origin, licensing.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Or patent markings.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
The original patent is about ten years old, and you
see how much we learn already just from the codes
and their absence. The original medical procarya was pirated for
the new purpose, and the people who modified it were
obviously not concerned with legitimizing it for mass trade. It
has all the signs of being a one off job
(38:33):
for a one time customer. The kinds of shortcuts taken
in its design strongly suggest illegal Jacksonian work. I'm not
personally familiar with it, unfortunately. And he guesses about fifteen
fifty thousand dollars to make, but the markup, who knows
(38:53):
how much? And if they wanted it urgently, there would
have been a markup for that. And he says that
it's not elegant enough for cetaganden work. There were some
slight modifications in the self destruct sequencing compared to the
original medical prokaryote deliberately left in the design. I can
(39:17):
give you facts, but I can't give you the intentions
of unknown persons it was administered.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Let's see where is it?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
The first symptoms of breakdown were four weeks ago, said
he Roche. About a week before that, actually said Miles.
According to my informant, Ilian stirred as if about to
add something, but then kept his peace.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
How is it done?
Speaker 1 (39:43):
How is it stored and transported?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
What's it? Shelf life?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
And it's stored dry, but it has to be delivered
via wedding and usually through mucous membranes, inhaled or put
on like a break in skin, through blood. And if
they were to administer something that you were eating, they'd
have to give you a much bigger dose because the
(40:10):
digestive enzymes would probably kill it, so making sure there
was enough left to do the job it would require
a bigger dose. Alien of course, his memory is shot,
so he doesn't remember anything that could feel like relevant
to who to this set of necessary events and circumstances.
(40:35):
And Miles asks, are any other people who have ever
gotten chips like this? Have they had something like this
happened to them? And Haroche says he doesn't know of any,
but is going to double check on Miles's say, so,
(40:55):
and let's see. We know what and how and some
of when, but who and why? You weren't sleeping with
anyone's wife or daughter or anything like that that we
don't know about, were you? Alas no, Miles, So it
had to be someone who was mad at impsect generally,
(41:21):
And Haroche says, it appears probable it came from off
berry Are. I'd like to know what laboratory it came
from and when I'll immediately alert galactic affairs to put
their agents onto the Jacksonian end of this tangle. And
then Haroche says, I'll also review all of Chief Ilian's movements.
(41:44):
I was mostly here at HQ, two trips out of
the city. I think there was Gregor's state dinner. Miles
pointed out, yes, there was. There was a girl there
from Colmar that you don't know very well. Might want
to look into that. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
That's all I'm saying. And then.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Is there anything else at all you can add, asked
General Haroche. Not without moving into the realms of speculation,
said a Baclaye. It's such an odd attack, said Myles,
targeting aliens function, yet not his life. I'm not sure
you can rule out murder, my lord. If the chip
hadn't been removed, he might have died of exhaustion or
(42:33):
met some accident during periods of confusion, which is a
really good point. I was not seeing it as attempted murder,
but I really should. There's so many ways that this
could have, you know what I mean, Like yeah, and
if he had died in that way, if he had
(42:55):
managed to keep his confusion under wraps, and then something
happened to him. They may have put all of this
down to a problem with the chip itself as and
his death resulting from a malfunction rather than seeing as
an attack.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I don't you know what I mean? And who knows.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
There's just a lot of ways that could have gone
totally undetective in the right circumstances. So he gives permission
for doctor Weddell to go back to his h what
do you call it?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
His laboratory.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Miles dismisses everyone, and Ilian says, welcome to the hot seat.
I was telling Miles yesterday that my first job as
chief of IMPSEC was to investigate the assassination of my predecessor.
You were telling me that this afternoon, Simon. I want
to remind everybody, technically yesterday is correct, because this meeting
(44:05):
takes place at midnight. I know it feels like earlier today,
but technically it's not wrong. So I'm not saying that
miles Is concern here is invalid. I'm just saying, maybe
(44:27):
Simon Illian is taking a more precise approach in explaining
the timetable than Miles would be taking. Maybe that's what's
you know.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's all I'm saying is like.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Potentially I am if there is enough room both here
and in the previous thing he said about wondering what
Lady Alice is doing today, that a part of me
is sort of not as worried as Miles is until
further notice.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So Miles tries to sleep that night, and he is
having a really hard time and is realizing how this
whole thing with me being an auditor was supposed to
be just a bit of a He calls it a charade,
which I don't really feel like that's the right word.
(45:26):
I was thinking of it as more like a temporary
identity to get the job done, you know. A charade
feels more like I'm faking it. You're not faking it,
You're doing the job. But it wasn't meant to be
a permanent thing, And honestly, why not. Miles is like
perfect for this kind of work. I feel like this
obviously is what he's meant to be doing now. But anyway,
(45:51):
he's thinking about the hollowness of his office and it
issued to him merely on Gregor's whim. Okay, couple things. One,
the Emperor deciding to assign you a job is as
official as any job gets. I get that you're thinking
(46:15):
about like the types of checks and balances that a
series of interviews would be. But you have proven your
capacity and capability a lot of times. It's not like
greg Or doesn't know you. This wasn't a whim either.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
I mean, one could argue.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
That it was a whim in the circumstantial nature of
how it comes up and the choice that he makes
in that moment, it feels like a whim.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
But I would argue.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
It's a very good idea that has a lot of
substantial merit that he had only just thought of.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
That doesn't equate to a whim.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
It equates to Oh, perfect, got this idea, This will
work really well.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I just the hollowness? Is it hollow? He trusts you
to do.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
This very tricky, difficult job. I know that you are
devaluing it because Gregor is a personal friend and he
knows me. And maybe it's just nepotism. Gregor is not
a fool. It wouldn't be just nepotism. It would be
very potentially likely that he would not do this for
(47:42):
just anybody who came to him.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
With this idea.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
So yeah, I just think that him trying to treat
this as if it's like not real. It's it's a
surprising way of thinking for Miles, to be honest, because
he is somebody who thinks highly enough of himself, and
not necessarily in an arrogant way, but he knows that
(48:06):
he is good at his job and that he has
been ahead of a lot of people in his life.
I am surprised that he sees this as.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Kind of illegitimate.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
You know, if he'd thought for a minute this appointment
was going to go real, even temporarily, he'd have started
building a staff of suitable experts, rated from though independent
of all other Barriarn organizations, which I want to see
you start doing.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Because I think this is very real.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
So then he starts thinking about should I go to
Jackson's Hole and go through all that data? And he's like, oh,
that sounds so fucking boring. If the production of the
per carryout had been purely commercial, there was no motivation
to be found on Jackson's Hole. Maybe revenge Admiral Naysmith
had seriously annoyed several Jacksonian great houses if they finally
(49:08):
figured out who he was working for. But eventually he's
just like, nah, that doesn't really work, and do you
really think it's an inside job? The intuition Demon, as usual,
was too coy to give him a straight answer. But
there was this anyone could go scope out Jackson's hole,
(49:30):
only an Imperial auditor could get inside ipsect HQ. Solving
this puzzle was not going to be a one man job,
but it was all to apparent what his pardon it
must be. So he puts on his chain of auditor
and then he hears his mom arriving. He had forgotten
(49:53):
about her showing up, and she comes in and there's
this This is so f you know, he's in his
official capacity, and so her instinct is to give him
a hug, and he manages to like hold his hand out,
and she's like, well, how very formal, and he says,
I'm on my way to work.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
You'll enlarge upon that.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
Of course, she took him by the arm, towing him
out of the traffic pattern of arriving luggage.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Her smile did not quite conceal an anxious edge. Fine, thanks, really,
really you actually look better than I expected, not so
zombie like as in some of your exceedingly brief communicates
and they go back and forth here a little bit
(50:48):
about what he's been up to Ilian and what's going
on with them. She's finally going to get to meet Lisa.
She like spoke on Lisa's behalf, well not on, but
she like represented them with Lysa's parents. But uh, there's
a mention of them thinking maybe we'll get some advantage
(51:09):
with greg Or, and both her and Miles are like, yeah,
Gregor's way too conscientious. He would not give them preferential
treatment because of this, So we got to nip that
idea in the bud. And then he says, how is father,
How did he take all of this mixed feelings, mixed reactions,
(51:35):
and she eventually says, you have his support, and he says, well,
I know that was he very disappointed. She shrugged. We
all know how hard you worked for what you had achieved,
and in the face of what odds she evades the answer.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Damn it. Yeah, because of course she's disappointed. Of course he.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Sorry, we're talking about his dad here. She tapped his
chain of office. This was very clever of greg Or,
I must say. The boys going quite gratifyingly subtle in
his maturity. Well, Wadell Simon, Uh, sorry, guys, I'm misreading
(52:20):
here because I'm.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Trying to read too many words.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
At the same time, Wadell Simon explains to you, what
a load I'm expected to toe with this damn chain.
Her brows rose, but she did not press him. He
reflected for a moment upon Countess vor Kosigan's cool maternal style,
in contrast to the hands on, attempted arrangements of Lady
Alice versus and it was versus Ivan on the whole.
(52:47):
He found the Countess's quiet respect a hell of a
lot more daunting than any overt interference could possibly have been.
One found one's self wishing to be worthy of it.
The Countess played the disinterested observer almost convincingly, a style
Gregor had no doubt learned from her.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
I really really.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Enjoyed this analysis because it's something that I think.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
About a lot.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
I am not going to have children, I have no interest,
but of course I can't help but wonder what kind
of parent I would have been. And I really think
that playing the disinterested observer is probably one of the
smartest tactics because it allows your kid the room to
(53:36):
fuck up but also makes it clear to them that
you are around and that they have your support, that
they have a soft place to land, that you will
be there regardless, you know. But you're giving them the
space to make their own choices and to come to
their own conclusions regarding.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
The consequences of those choices.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
I just don't think I would personally be able to
restrain myself that much.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I just have so much anxiety and that leads to
me being a control freak.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
And I often wonder if I would be able to,
in the light of knowing how damaging being a control
freak with your kids can be, if I would be
able to keep that in mind enough to restrain myself.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
I just think about it a lot, because you know,
my own father was a control freak, and I was
so determined not to become my mother as I grew
up that I inadvertently wound up becoming him in a
lot of ways. And I like the way that Cordelia works.
It just thinks it makes me think that like. But
(54:48):
what she does is she role models the way that
she believes the best behavior is the best approach to problems,
the best thinking, and prioritizing and then steps back and
is like, you make your own choice. I showed you
(55:11):
what I think is important and why, and I have
demonstrated throughout my own life that I stand by that
I have integrity surrounding what I claim is important and
what I actually do. You choose for yourself, and you
know what my opinion is because you have seen it
(55:33):
so consistently and so often enough. I don't have to
tell you anything. You are in the end. You have
to make the choice, because if I chose for you,
it doesn't mean anything. And I think that's just the
best possible method. But I can also see how unbelievably
(55:54):
difficult it would be to carry that out all the time.
You know, it's yeah, So anyway, the let's see if
you need to go go along. I'll tackle Simon next.
It's going to be my job to prod his former department.
(56:16):
It seems HEROS has been slow to get into gear
on this problem. Though I don't suppose I can fall
INSECT for refusing to reason in advance of its data.
Why not they have before often enough. Now, now, don't
be snied, my lady mother. I'm glad to find you
(56:36):
here anyway where else. She hesitated, then admitted, Riley, I
bet Eryl you would choose the little admiral. That is
such a line. I never like, I just didn't fully
think of them as two separate identities in enough to
(57:00):
really consider Miles abandoning barri Are. I just never, really,
it never really ever felt like a threat to me
that he was going to run off with the Dandari.
I just I'm surprised, I genuinely am that she thought
that's what he would pick.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
And if this is.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
All had happened five years earlier, probably he would. I
have to say, I think a lot of the way
he's handling this is due to maturing and beginning to
see some of the things that he hasn't prioritized in
a clearer light now that he is getting older, and
the consequences of things just become a bit more serious.
(57:49):
And I don't know, I just you know, I'm curious
anybody listening whether you thought he was going to potentially
just like Bail once he realized there was no job
holding him here, was he just going to fucking go off?
It just it really never felt like a true possibility,
(58:12):
and for me, her misjudging him that much. So it's
just surprising because for the most part, I thought that
she had a really good handle on who Miles is,
and that is so different to how I see him.
And it may simply be parents. When they don't see
(58:36):
you all the time, they sort of lag behind in
terms of your developing personality. When you get older, it's
sort of an odd thing where you oftentimes move out
of their house into like a dorm and if you're
going to college, you know, or you move out with roommates,
and that first stage of moving out, you're still in
(58:58):
close proximity to them a lot of the time, and
you will be like around enough that they still have
a handle on you.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
But then maybe you.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Move further away, or you get a job, or you
get a partner, and you stop seeing them as often
and you keep growing, but they still have a sort
of idea of who you are based on what they
knew of you when they saw you frequently several years earlier.
And I'm sort of thinking maybe that's what's going on,
(59:28):
is that she just hasn't been around Miles consistently as
we have as readers in his head able to like
actually watch the changes that he's going through and the
way he sees things, and so maybe she just sees
him the way he was, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Naysmith is a Baiton's side of Miles. She chose to
settle with Barry Are, but maybe part of her thought.
Speaker 2 (59:56):
He would make a different choice.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
Maybe Macan says, I never thought he'd nay Smith, but
it doesn't surprise me. Cordelia thought he might. Perhaps a
bit of projection on her part. Maybe that's interesting. But yeah,
so I just really like this section. I also really
need somebody to think of Lisa as maybe somebody of interest. Please,
(01:00:20):
can somebody think of Lisa? It's killing me, you guys, Hugh, Okay,
I've got to wrap this up. Thank you all again
so much for hanging out with me. I appreciate you
all so much. And I will be seeing you next
week with a new episode. No wait, i'll be seeing
you tomorrow because I skip Tuesday. So same time, five
(01:00:41):
thirty pm Central Standard Time tomorrow, Friday, the twenty fifth.
Be here or be not here to the.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Loom, motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
That was an Unspoiled Network podcast
This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering the more Kosagan Saga Memory chapters twenty and twenty one.
In these chapters, it turns out there was a specific
(00:23):
attack on Ilien. I still think it's Lisa. I still
think it's Lisa. I still think it's Lisa. And maybe
I'm wrong, and if I am, fine, but I need
somebody to consider her. I need somebody to be worried
(00:45):
about her at all, just for my own peace of mind.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to spoil Me.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Welcome to the show everyone.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I am Natasha.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'm trying to decide who to credit for this episode
because today's episode, strictly speaking, was booked by VICKI what
the episode I was supposed to record on Tuesday was
booked by Macon and I wasn't able to record Tuesday.
So does this count as Tuesday's episode? Or does tomorrow's
(01:34):
episode count as Tuesday's episode? Either way, thank you to Vicen,
Vicky and Macon. Thank you too, Vicen and Maky.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Those are your shipper names.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
That's what I'm gonna call you. But yeah, I appreciate
you guys bearing with me with my internet being gone,
and I am going to be recording at the same
time tomorrow to make up the episode that I missed
this week. So hopefully y'all are able to make it.
Hopefully y'all are able to make it.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Vicky is here.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Hi, Sorry about that, Vicky.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So I have read this section twice.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I found this like a really compelling section, which I
know that not everybody agrees with my feelings regarding Slice
of Life moments, but this is something that comes up
frequently with shows like One Piece, but frankly does apply
to like all fiction. When you have characters that are
(02:40):
frequently in a state of dealing with something that is
high action or high stress, you know, they're in situations
that are very, very urgent. A lot of the time,
I get enormous enjoyment out of getting to see those
characters chill out for a minute, getting to see them
(03:04):
take a step back from all of that constant chaos
and just exist and have a conversation with somebody, and
because like there's a sense of them that can come
through when they are relaxed that you just don't get
at other times, and you learn about what relaxes them
(03:24):
as well. Of course, it's not always going to be
necessarily accurate because of the circumstances.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Of why they are where they are.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
With Ilian, it's sort of interesting for me because, like
I think he might have been able to relax, he
in this first of the two chapters in a way
that he isn't able to hear due to his concerns
about his own memory. They're making him obviously very like.
(03:57):
I don't want to use the word paranoid, because that
feels there's a certain stigma to the use of the
word paranoia that makes it sound as if the way
somebody is feeling isn't valid and his concerns are one valid.
So I don't want to say that, but he's certainly
(04:19):
very preoccupied by it.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Whether or not an alien who was not in a
position of this sort of precarious mental state, would he
have had more enjoyment with these with the fishing expedition,
or would it still not have really hit Is he
(04:42):
somebody who was ever able to really relax. I don't
know what kind of relaxation he's ever had, he's ever
been able to achieve, considering the the nature of a
chip in his head, which I feel like if you
are able to call up memories with complete clarity and
(05:06):
no mistakes. Probably that will infringe on your ability to relax.
And also, if you are somebody in charge of the
whole security apparatus for a whole planet, probably that also
is going to keep you from being able to relax.
So I'm not really sure what if what we're seeing
(05:30):
in this chapter is like what he'd ordinarily be like
or not.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I'm real curious.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
About it, though, So anyway, I just when I'm brought
up one piece before one piece. Frequently will have like
an arc that ends with once the bad guys are
defeated or whatever, everybody has a big party. They all eat,
they get drunk, They follows on the street with the
(06:02):
new friends they've made, and frequently those can be like
my favorite episodes because everybody is so chill and just
having a great time, and you get to see their
characters at their most relaxed. And this was a very
fun I hesitate to use that word, but I will.
This is a very fun departure from the tone of
(06:25):
this entire series. Frankly, there are a few moments where
our friends do get to like genuinely chill, but they
are so few and far between and oftentimes they're chilling,
Like for example, when Miles earlier this book is with
(06:51):
Torah on that flight, one could argue that is them chilling, right,
But there is so much much anxiety surrounding his seizures
and him lying on the report and being called back
so suddenly and weirdly, all of it was giving me
(07:12):
a type of anxiety that it kept this from feeling like.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And also I was very annoyed with.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Him for fucking Torah still, so it kind of negated
that for me. But here, even though we are waiting on.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The results of whether or not it was.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
A targeted hit on Alien's chip, I was very much
in a place where I felt like, whether it was
or not, it's done now. And sure, if it was,
you are going to have to cope with that. But
it didn't give me that sense of like impending doom
that worrying about Miles's career choices.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And lies was giving me.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
So I was able to really like relax here. Three
days before Countess were Kosiga was due to arrive at
the Capitol, Myles's nerve broke and he decided to flee
to Vorkosig in Surlough. He had neither hope nor truly
desire to avoid her altogether on her visit home. He
(08:20):
just wasn't quite ready to face her yet.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Maybe a couple of days.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
In the quiet of the country would help him marshal
his courage. Besides, it would be good security for Ilien.
Out in that thinly populated area where strangers were immediately noticed,
it was easier to spot trouble coming shore miles. Tell
yourself whatever you need to. It's it's fine. You don't
have to justify yourself to me. You can just want
(08:44):
to not be immediately available to your mother, and that,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I love your mom.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I hate that you feel this way, but I do
get it so fine. And Ilian isn't like psychedic it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It's just very clear Alien is distracted.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But also you really do get the sense he's just
an indoor boy. He's just this isn't this isn't really
his scene, you know. So anyway, they head down there
and it resulted in a RESTful afternoon tea taken on
the long front porch of the lake house. It was
(09:27):
impossible to stay tense in the warm afternoon, sitting in
the shade and gazing down over the green lawn to
the sparkling stretch of water cradled in the hills. The
autumn trees were almost denuded of their colorful leaves, which
opened up the view, and the demands of digestion cured
the viewer of any remaining residue of ambition. I cannot
(09:51):
emphasize enough how much I want to have a leisurely
afternoon tea on the front porch of a great house
during autumn, overlooking a sparkling lake. I don't think that's
too much to ask, Universe. If you could arrange that,
(10:15):
I'd appreciate it. I would love very specifically, let's say Massachusetts,
big bed and breakfast, wrap around front porch lake autumn
weaves a high tea, black tea, please. I've gone to
a few high tea's recently lately, not recently, but like in.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
The past few years.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
They're serving these like fruity herbal concour No, it's afternoon tea.
You want to pick me up of caffeine? What are
we doing anyway? Delicacies? I want this type of mo
cost of cooking. Okay, there's a mention of a spiced
(10:58):
peach tart. Another point, there's just a variety of things
that I'd be interested in. And if on that trip
I am also able to sample some maple mead, I
wouldn't be against it. We could just wrap it all
up in the same little experience.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Let's do that excursion.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, So thank you Universe for listening to my petition.
Please do what you need to.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Do, and I will enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
When it arrives, I will be expecting it promptly. So
Illian starts off the conversation about that's where Captain Negri died,
isn't it the opening shot of the war? Testing his memory,
and as he's talking about this with Miles and sort
(11:53):
of filling in parts of this story, he is realizing
that he remembers the emotions behind certain moments a lot
more than the actual facts, which he finds really weird.
And Miles has to kind of be like, that's how
most of us tend to remember things. Is like feeling
(12:16):
the intense emotions and the flashes of a moment, but
we don't get the crystal clear detail, you know. But
obviously it's one thing to be like, well, that's how
most people are, That's not how he's been and telling
him that's how most people are. It doesn't help. It's
(12:38):
not doing anything, you know. There's a moment where he asks,
I wonder what Lady Alice is doing today, and I'm like,
I bet you do.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Wonder.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Apparently she told them yesterday, and Miles repeats it, and
he's thinking to himself like, she told us both that yesterday,
and he's taking this as sort of like, oh, there's
his memory slipping.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I just want to point.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Out there's another point at which this kind of happens also,
But I just want to point out Lady Alice told
them that yesterday. Unclear to me if that's still correct
for today, which is what Alien asked about specifically. Maybe
(13:25):
yesterday she was saying, here's what.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I'm going to be doing tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
But I just thought, maybe it's not as bad as.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It sounds, Myles.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I don't know. We'll see there's a whole there's another
thing later, and I'll bring that up when it comes up.
So this is when Ilian is like, all right, so, uh,
we're a gentleman on a country weekend.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
What are we gonna do?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Miles asked if he likes horseback riding. He's like, nah,
your grandpa made me learn. But it's not my thing.
Miles mentioned swimming, but it's like pretty cold right now,
and then Miles brings up fishing. He says, that sounds
sedate enough. Tradition is you take the local beer from
(14:12):
the village. There's a woman there who home bruis it
extraordinary stuff, and hang the bottles over the side of
the boat to stay cold. When the beer gets too
warm to drink.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It's too hot to fish. What season is that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Never, as far as I could tell, let us by
all means, observe tradition, said Ilian gravely. And we get
a wonderful chapter of the two of them chilling, drinking beer,
talking and not getting any fish until eventually Miles literally
(14:48):
bombs them. Which is it turns out the most common
way of fishing to those who aren't voar, because they
don't have all goddamn day to sit on their asses
and hang around drinking beer, and they need to get
it done. Oftentimes they were poaching, so they had to
get their fish as quickly as they could and get
(15:09):
the fuck out. And Alien says it would be more
like a steakhoat if the fish were armed and could
fire back. If fish for men, what kind of bait
would they use? And Miles thinks about hook on the
(15:29):
shoreline that has a spiced.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Peach tart on it, and I was like, yeah, that'd work,
that'd work on me.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And Miles says, what kind of bait did you used
to use? And Alien tells this incredible story about a
prime minister Vrtala who was in negotiations with Napoleons.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I think is how you pronounce them and.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
They are like, well, what is something you've always wanted?
And Bro says, I've always wanted an which Ilian is
sort of like I don't know if he was genuinely
asking for an elephant or if he was telling us
something that he was positive we would never be able
to get our hands on, Like was he just trying
(16:19):
to set us up? You know? And they do wind
up tracking down a small elephant for him, and it
seems like maybe that is genuinely what he wanted, because
this guy like keeps it and bathes it and you know,
eventually takes it home with him. So I just really
(16:45):
enjoyed that story. Like, if somebody is asking you, they're
really wanting to like do something specific, and they're asking you,
why wouldn't you just tell them the wildest thing, you know,
be specific and make it a challenge, sure, and then just.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
See what happens.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
There's no reason that you can't necessarily get.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
What you want. I love it also the idea that
like elephants are this rare. It could be both due to.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
The fact that elephants are an Earth species and Earth
is very different now and maybe there aren't that many
left period on Earth, or it could be that there
aren't any left anywhere. Like, I'm just curious whether or
not that there was like a particular issue with them
(17:36):
becoming more sparse than they even are now, or if
it's just the fact it's a big galaxy and we
have to go to one specific planet and hope that
they will sell us one. You know, it's sort of
interesting to me to think about. Like we've heard mention
of how Barrier has trees that are native to Earth
(17:58):
planted on it, and there are there's just a sense
of them terraforming this planet to make it feel akin
to Earth. Not that these people know Earth and are
trying to get that feel back because it's something that
they miss or anything.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
It's just like I'm assuming.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Considered ideal for human beings, the overall climate and everything.
So let's try and get that, get our climate as
similar to the one we're native to as we can.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
That's what I'm assuming. But I wonder if there are.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Zoos where like on every planet where they are working
on keeping certain populations of animals alive and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So let's see, I'm trying to find the spot that
I left off. Sorry, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Oh, so Miles is thinking about his own motivations. He
was unexpected unexcited by money because he had never felt
its lack mark. By contrast, was in his own, quiet,
way downright greedy power. Miles had no hankering for the
imperium or anything like it. But it itched like fire
(19:17):
when others had power over him. That wasn't less for power.
That was fear, fear of what being made victim, of
their incompetence, being destroyed for a mutant, if he couldn't
constantly prove his superiority. It was a bit of that underneath,
well quite a lot really. And then identity, that's my elephant.
(19:43):
The thought came with certainty, without the question mark on
the end. This time, not fame exactly, though recognition was
some kind of important cement for it. But what you
were was what you did and I did more. Oh yes,
if a hunger for our identity we're translated into, say,
a hunger for food, he'd be a more fantastic glutton
(20:05):
than Mark had ever dreamed of being. Is it a
rational to want to be so much? To want so
hard it hurts? And how much then was enough? And
I definitely get this, not fame exactly, the recognition was
(20:27):
some kind of important cement for it. I really understand this,
and it's a difficult thing to sort of like to
really explain. And also for me, I have this weird
position that I'm in where I'm a performer and I
have a difficulty in knowing who I am when people
(20:52):
aren't watching.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So much of the whole way.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
That I operate and move through the world is based
on the way that other people perceive me. But when
other people are taken out of the equation than what
you know, and I don't like even something like doing
(21:17):
my weight workouts. I have my husband sometimes just come
into the room with me and we put on an
audiobook and listen together, and I will do my weight
workout with him in the room because it helps for
somebody to be observing.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Me at all. It makes me focus more to be
observed why, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's just a it's an odd thing, and so this
preoccupation that he has with like, yes, I do things,
but I also want people to see it and know,
partially just to prove yourself yes.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
But also wanting to be.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Known as a thing, helping you to believe that you
are that thing. It's odd, you know, I don't know,
And it's like it's definitely not exactly the same for
both me and Miles, but there is something here that's
really like resonating for me. And I mean I've talked
about it before that one of the first questions my
(22:24):
therapist asked me back when I was still going and
could afford it, was who are you when nobody is looking?
And I literally just stared into space, feeling like somebody
had turned out the lights in my head. It was
like the depth of the question was so profound that
(22:51):
just the existence of the question brought me up totally
short and had me It was like a bell that
had gone off in my brain and was still echoing.
And I still don't really know the answer.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I still don't.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
It's been like six years since she asked me that,
and I think about it all the time. So anyway,
this is why he says, you were what you did, Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
What you do may.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Depend on who's around you, and not necessarily in a
way that's making that action cowardly. I think that when
you say what you do depends on who's around you.
It's very easy to picture a situation where it's like
I would stand up for a friend if I weren't
surrounded by people who disagreed with me, something where not
(23:57):
doing the thing that you know is right just because
people wouldn't agree with you is seen as an inherently
cowardly you know, like you're abandoning the just correct course.
But I don't think it's that simple. Sometimes it's simply
not appropriate to engage in battle depending on who you
(24:21):
are with, the nature of the battle whatever. That depends
on things as well, you know, pick your battles, as they.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Say, And so it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
It's an interesting question. So Ilian throughout this section, what
he keeps coming up with is like, I don't know
if there are really fish here.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I think there might not be.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
And it becomes obvious as this chapter goes on that
he is bored. It's so funny because eventually he says
something like.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Why why are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
This doesn't seem efficient, and Miles is like, no, it's
not meant to be efficient. I think it's designed so
that you just sit around and drink beer, and obviously
this is just not his jam Ilian is sort of
like Miles in this way where he needs to be
doing things all the time, and so just sitting I
(25:25):
understand this. It's not like I can't get into it.
When I really let myself just fucking chill, I can
get very into it, but it takes me a certain headspace.
I need to really be assured it's okay for me
to zone out, you know what I mean. And I
(25:46):
have a hard time getting here. So Miles is trying
to tell him, like, you're still rehabilitating, you need to
be a little bit more pati and Alien is like, well,
it hasn't helped, and he says, yes it has. I've
been tracking you at that game that they play one up,
(26:08):
and you're definitely improving. And Alien had thought Miles and
Lady Alice have been letting him win. So for a minute,
he's like, that's nice to hear, actually, but then he's like,
it's still not enough for me to like go back
to doing what I used to do, though, And let's see,
(26:34):
there is an edge to a performance. When you've balanced
on that edge, played at the very top of your form,
you can't go back to anything less to invert your
mother's old saying anything that can't be done well is
not worth doing and running impsect is about as far
from play as anything.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
There are too many other people's lives on the line
every day, and I you know, first of all, anything
it can't be done well is not worth doing is
a bold face lie. But we are also talking about
something that isn't like creativity. We're talking about national security.
And I can understand that thinking here. And eventually he
(27:18):
gets to the point where he's like, well, I mean,
at least Gregor is grown.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
We've gotten him.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
To adulthood, and he is a very capable leader, so
maybe that is something that's an achievement. But I'd have
liked if I could have been involved in everything up
until at least he got married. And Miles is like,
oh yeah, but then you know, they'd be like getting
them settled in and getting her accustomed to being very
(27:47):
aren and then there would be her being pregnant and
the birth of the child, and then we'd have to
guard the air and the whole. Like.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
He doesn't say all.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Of that, but it's basically him being like, there's always
another crisis, there's always another reason. There's never a good
time to step back and retire. And Ilian does admit this,
and finally Lilian says, I know how much the Dindari
meant to you. I'm pleased you survived. He did not
(28:16):
say I'm sorry. Miles noted he shouldn't, and he acknowledges
that right away Miles disaster had been a self inflicted wound. Yes,
he doesn't need to say he's sorry. He did his
fucking job. Miles like, why would he apologize? And Miles
(28:38):
basically says, I got a second chance at life and
I wasn't gonna throw that away. So and then Ilian's like,
what about Quinn, do you think that, like you not
being may Smith anymore, she'd still be into it. And
Miles is like, Ah, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna
(29:03):
have to see again. And then he says there is
some convincing evidence I was slowing down too much to
play a moving target much longer. My favorite missions lately
scarcely engaged any military force.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You were getting frigging clever is.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
All, though even a war of maneuver requires a credible
force to maneuver with. I liked the winning that I
really liked. Ilian chucked his bottle into the box with
the rest of the empties and leaned over to squint
down into the lake water, and Miles mentions the uh
(29:40):
fact that the first thing he isn't able to outsmart
is his own body, which Ilian is like, yeah, taken
from within, like many fortresses. And then this is when
Miles brings up the bombing of the fish, finds out
alien has a stuff on him which they didn't know.
(30:01):
He was armed, and I love that that alien's armed.
And Miles had no idea if anything. Alien is like,
you're not armed, dude, what the fuck you're slipping?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So he uses the pack from the stunner.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
It's not that he doesn't chuck the star in there,
but he kind of rigs the power cartridge and chucks
it in. It blows up underwater, which causes one of
the guards on shore to be like ah, what is happening?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And be very worried for a second, and then.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Five fish in total pop up. The smallest was a
half meter long, the largest nearly two thirds of a meter.
Salmon and lake trout, including one that must have been
lurking down there since myles grandfather's day. As somebody who
loves salmon so much, and trout can be very salmony,
(31:04):
I am very jealous. Salmon is so expensive, and I
eat it as often as I can.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I am.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It's one of those things that I'm just like, it's
worth it.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Shut up, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
So they gather up the fish, and I loved this
so much. Ah, Martin Miles carold, in a tone of
voice that would have made the more experienced I then
turn and run. Take these to your mother. He unloaded
(31:38):
his burden into the appalled young man's arms, and do
what she tells you to do with them. Here, Simon,
smiling blandly, Illian handed over his own dead fishes.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Thank you, Martin.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
They left Martin ruthlessly, not even looking back at his plate,
and plaintive, my lord, I love the detail too.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
It's very likely.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Martin was coming down to try and see if he
could take the boat out onto the lake for a
little bit. So like, not only are they landing him
with this job, but they're doing it instead of the
fun thing that he was hoping to get to do,
which like, honestly, I can't even be to He's very young.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
And this is his job.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
It's fine, but I did feel a little bit bad
for him. And yeah, this is cooked up by Macosta
into this incredible meal. And it turns out that in
the past Miles had fished and thought he was doing
(32:41):
this like macho thing, and then realized that his mother
is super used to that protein only, and so eating
food like this that's been like fresh caught or actual
animals that were killed makes her really uncomfortable. And that
(33:04):
makes total sense. But when I got guys, it didn't
even occur to me. I'm figuring that protein is to
make up the difference for when you can't get access
to real, actual living animal protein. And like the point
of that protein is that it does all the same
(33:26):
things that animal live animals, like it's bred from the
same structure of DNA and everything, So the point is
that it doesn't there's I don't want to say that
(33:46):
there's no difference but I thought of it as something
sort of like the way that one would use soy
to stretch ground meat, you know, in taco bell meat.
I think it's something like sixty percent soy, and it's
all seasoned and there's enough meat in there so that
(34:09):
it makes it all taste like its meat, but it's
fucking not. It's stretched out with something way cheaper. And
that's sort of how I imagined that protein. And being
reminded that, like, no, that's like considered the sanitary and
(34:30):
humane way to eat, I kind of get where she's
coming from here. I really understand that it's just U
I personally can't imagine the flavor profile being as good.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Maybe it is, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
So anyway, Miles made his glass of wine las it
was a strange, unfamiliar sensation to be truly relaxed, not
going anywhere. And as soon as he thinks this, Martin
comes in and is like, hey, there's somebody on the
(35:12):
calm console and it turns out that it's a bac
Lie and he wants to see Miles. And when Miles
is like, whoa, what about midnight tonight, A Vacla doesn't
protest and Miles is like, oh, boy, this is gonna
be a hole. If he's fine with that, it's urgent.
So they meet up at midnight. Now this is one
(35:33):
of the moments that I felt like, so Ilien comes
with and a Vaclae is sort.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Of like, oh, why did you bring him?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And Miles was like, he fucking deserves to know what's
going on. And then let's see, uh, my Lord Auditor,
General Hero's gentleman, Chief Ilion.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I don't expect it.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
What comes in any real surprise to you that we
have found the damage to Chief Ilien's idetic neural implant
to have been an artificially created event. Miles, you know,
had sort of at this point started to think maybe
it was natural, but is just.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
A boy, okay?
Speaker 1 (36:22):
And Avaccla is like, we don't know that it's deliberate sabotage,
but artificially created for sure, and he hands it over
to doctor Weddle here, who Miles observes is just as
smug and annoying as normal, and he explains that there
(36:43):
is a there is this creature that was introduced to
his system that eats the proteins of this chip manufactures
a proteolytic enzyme that breaks down the protein matrix found
(37:07):
in the identic chip and several related galactric neuro enhancement applications.
It destroys that and nothing else after absorbing the nutrients
it reproduces and eventually it self destructs, which he says,
if it had been left another week before we took
the chip out, I wouldn't have been able to piece
(37:29):
together that this had happened at all.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
There would be.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Nothing left which heros who had not been the one
to make the decision to remove the chip. He is
extremely acutely aware that had he been left to his devices,
they would not have been able to prove that this
was sabotage at all. And he is really feeling a
bit of a way about that whoever made this did
(37:55):
not begin from scratch. This is a modification of an
existing patented organism. The Galactic patent code is a legitimate
medical application, bore no identifications of laboratories of origin, licensing.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Or patent markings.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
The original patent is about ten years old, and you
see how much we learn already just from the codes
and their absence. The original medical procarya was pirated for
the new purpose, and the people who modified it were
obviously not concerned with legitimizing it for mass trade. It
has all the signs of being a one off job
(38:33):
for a one time customer. The kinds of shortcuts taken
in its design strongly suggest illegal Jacksonian work. I'm not
personally familiar with it, unfortunately. And he guesses about fifteen
fifty thousand dollars to make, but the markup, who knows
(38:53):
how much? And if they wanted it urgently, there would
have been a markup for that. And he says that
it's not elegant enough for cetaganden work. There were some
slight modifications in the self destruct sequencing compared to the
original medical prokaryote deliberately left in the design. I can
(39:17):
give you facts, but I can't give you the intentions
of unknown persons it was administered.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Let's see where is it?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
The first symptoms of breakdown were four weeks ago, said
he Roche. About a week before that, actually said Miles.
According to my informant, Ilian stirred as if about to
add something, but then kept his peace.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
How is it done?
Speaker 1 (39:43):
How is it stored and transported?
Speaker 2 (39:45):
What's it? Shelf life?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
And it's stored dry, but it has to be delivered
via wedding and usually through mucous membranes, inhaled or put
on like a break in skin, through blood. And if
they were to administer something that you were eating, they'd
have to give you a much bigger dose because the
(40:10):
digestive enzymes would probably kill it, so making sure there
was enough left to do the job it would require
a bigger dose. Alien of course, his memory is shot,
so he doesn't remember anything that could feel like relevant
to who to this set of necessary events and circumstances.
(40:35):
And Miles asks, are any other people who have ever
gotten chips like this? Have they had something like this
happened to them? And Haroche says he doesn't know of any,
but is going to double check on Miles's say, so,
(40:55):
and let's see. We know what and how and some
of when, but who and why? You weren't sleeping with
anyone's wife or daughter or anything like that that we
don't know about, were you? Alas no, Miles, So it
had to be someone who was mad at impsect generally,
(41:21):
And Haroche says, it appears probable it came from off
berry Are. I'd like to know what laboratory it came
from and when I'll immediately alert galactic affairs to put
their agents onto the Jacksonian end of this tangle. And
then Haroche says, I'll also review all of Chief Ilian's movements.
(41:44):
I was mostly here at HQ, two trips out of
the city. I think there was Gregor's state dinner. Miles
pointed out, yes, there was. There was a girl there
from Colmar that you don't know very well. Might want
to look into that. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
That's all I'm saying. And then.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Is there anything else at all you can add, asked
General Haroche. Not without moving into the realms of speculation,
said a Baclaye. It's such an odd attack, said Myles,
targeting aliens function, yet not his life. I'm not sure
you can rule out murder, my lord. If the chip
hadn't been removed, he might have died of exhaustion or
(42:33):
met some accident during periods of confusion, which is a
really good point. I was not seeing it as attempted murder,
but I really should. There's so many ways that this
could have, you know what I mean, Like yeah, and
if he had died in that way, if he had
(42:55):
managed to keep his confusion under wraps, and then something
happened to him. They may have put all of this
down to a problem with the chip itself as and
his death resulting from a malfunction rather than seeing as
an attack.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I don't you know what I mean? And who knows.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
There's just a lot of ways that could have gone
totally undetective in the right circumstances. So he gives permission
for doctor Weddell to go back to his h what
do you call it?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
His laboratory.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Miles dismisses everyone, and Ilian says, welcome to the hot seat.
I was telling Miles yesterday that my first job as
chief of IMPSEC was to investigate the assassination of my predecessor.
You were telling me that this afternoon, Simon. I want
to remind everybody, technically yesterday is correct, because this meeting
(44:05):
takes place at midnight. I know it feels like earlier today,
but technically it's not wrong. So I'm not saying that
miles Is concern here is invalid. I'm just saying, maybe
(44:27):
Simon Illian is taking a more precise approach in explaining
the timetable than Miles would be taking. Maybe that's what's
you know.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's all I'm saying is like.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Potentially I am if there is enough room both here
and in the previous thing he said about wondering what
Lady Alice is doing today, that a part of me
is sort of not as worried as Miles is until
further notice.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
So Miles tries to sleep that night, and he is
having a really hard time and is realizing how this
whole thing with me being an auditor was supposed to
be just a bit of a He calls it a charade,
which I don't really feel like that's the right word.
(45:26):
I was thinking of it as more like a temporary
identity to get the job done, you know. A charade
feels more like I'm faking it. You're not faking it,
You're doing the job. But it wasn't meant to be
a permanent thing, And honestly, why not. Miles is like
perfect for this kind of work. I feel like this
obviously is what he's meant to be doing now. But anyway,
(45:51):
he's thinking about the hollowness of his office and it
issued to him merely on Gregor's whim. Okay, couple things. One,
the Emperor deciding to assign you a job is as
official as any job gets. I get that you're thinking
(46:15):
about like the types of checks and balances that a
series of interviews would be. But you have proven your
capacity and capability a lot of times. It's not like
greg Or doesn't know you. This wasn't a whim either.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
I mean, one could argue.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
That it was a whim in the circumstantial nature of
how it comes up and the choice that he makes
in that moment, it feels like a whim.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
But I would argue.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
It's a very good idea that has a lot of
substantial merit that he had only just thought of.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
That doesn't equate to a whim.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
It equates to Oh, perfect, got this idea, This will
work really well.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I just the hollowness? Is it hollow? He trusts you
to do.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
This very tricky, difficult job. I know that you are
devaluing it because Gregor is a personal friend and he
knows me. And maybe it's just nepotism. Gregor is not
a fool. It wouldn't be just nepotism. It would be
very potentially likely that he would not do this for
(47:42):
just anybody who came to him.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
With this idea.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
So yeah, I just think that him trying to treat
this as if it's like not real. It's it's a
surprising way of thinking for Miles, to be honest, because
he is somebody who thinks highly enough of himself, and
not necessarily in an arrogant way, but he knows that
(48:06):
he is good at his job and that he has
been ahead of a lot of people in his life.
I am surprised that he sees this as.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Kind of illegitimate.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
You know, if he'd thought for a minute this appointment
was going to go real, even temporarily, he'd have started
building a staff of suitable experts, rated from though independent
of all other Barriarn organizations, which I want to see
you start doing.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Because I think this is very real.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
So then he starts thinking about should I go to
Jackson's Hole and go through all that data? And he's like, oh,
that sounds so fucking boring. If the production of the
per carryout had been purely commercial, there was no motivation
to be found on Jackson's Hole. Maybe revenge Admiral Naysmith
had seriously annoyed several Jacksonian great houses if they finally
(49:08):
figured out who he was working for. But eventually he's
just like, nah, that doesn't really work, and do you
really think it's an inside job? The intuition Demon, as usual,
was too coy to give him a straight answer. But
there was this anyone could go scope out Jackson's hole,
(49:30):
only an Imperial auditor could get inside ipsect HQ. Solving
this puzzle was not going to be a one man job,
but it was all to apparent what his pardon it
must be. So he puts on his chain of auditor
and then he hears his mom arriving. He had forgotten
(49:53):
about her showing up, and she comes in and there's
this This is so f you know, he's in his
official capacity, and so her instinct is to give him
a hug, and he manages to like hold his hand out,
and she's like, well, how very formal, and he says,
I'm on my way to work.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
You'll enlarge upon that.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
Of course, she took him by the arm, towing him
out of the traffic pattern of arriving luggage.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Her smile did not quite conceal an anxious edge. Fine, thanks, really,
really you actually look better than I expected, not so
zombie like as in some of your exceedingly brief communicates
and they go back and forth here a little bit
(50:48):
about what he's been up to Ilian and what's going
on with them. She's finally going to get to meet Lisa.
She like spoke on Lisa's behalf, well not on, but
she like represented them with Lysa's parents. But uh, there's
a mention of them thinking maybe we'll get some advantage
(51:09):
with greg Or, and both her and Miles are like, yeah,
Gregor's way too conscientious. He would not give them preferential
treatment because of this, So we got to nip that
idea in the bud. And then he says, how is father,
How did he take all of this mixed feelings, mixed reactions,
(51:35):
and she eventually says, you have his support, and he says, well,
I know that was he very disappointed. She shrugged. We
all know how hard you worked for what you had achieved,
and in the face of what odds she evades the answer.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Damn it. Yeah, because of course she's disappointed. Of course he.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Sorry, we're talking about his dad here. She tapped his
chain of office. This was very clever of greg Or,
I must say. The boys going quite gratifyingly subtle in
his maturity. Well, Wadell Simon, Uh, sorry, guys, I'm misreading
(52:20):
here because I'm.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Trying to read too many words.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
At the same time, Wadell Simon explains to you, what
a load I'm expected to toe with this damn chain.
Her brows rose, but she did not press him. He
reflected for a moment upon Countess vor Kosigan's cool maternal style,
in contrast to the hands on, attempted arrangements of Lady
Alice versus and it was versus Ivan on the whole.
(52:47):
He found the Countess's quiet respect a hell of a
lot more daunting than any overt interference could possibly have been.
One found one's self wishing to be worthy of it.
The Countess played the disinterested observer almost convincingly, a style
Gregor had no doubt learned from her.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
I really really.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Enjoyed this analysis because it's something that I think.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
About a lot.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
I am not going to have children, I have no interest,
but of course I can't help but wonder what kind
of parent I would have been. And I really think
that playing the disinterested observer is probably one of the
smartest tactics because it allows your kid the room to
(53:36):
fuck up but also makes it clear to them that
you are around and that they have your support, that
they have a soft place to land, that you will
be there regardless, you know. But you're giving them the
space to make their own choices and to come to
their own conclusions regarding.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
The consequences of those choices.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
I just don't think I would personally be able to
restrain myself that much.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I just have so much anxiety and that leads to
me being a control freak.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
And I often wonder if I would be able to,
in the light of knowing how damaging being a control
freak with your kids can be, if I would be
able to keep that in mind enough to restrain myself.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
I just think about it a lot, because you know,
my own father was a control freak, and I was
so determined not to become my mother as I grew
up that I inadvertently wound up becoming him in a
lot of ways. And I like the way that Cordelia works.
It just thinks it makes me think that like. But
(54:48):
what she does is she role models the way that
she believes the best behavior is the best approach to problems,
the best thinking, and prioritizing and then steps back and
is like, you make your own choice. I showed you
(55:11):
what I think is important and why, and I have
demonstrated throughout my own life that I stand by that
I have integrity surrounding what I claim is important and
what I actually do. You choose for yourself, and you
know what my opinion is because you have seen it
(55:33):
so consistently and so often enough. I don't have to
tell you anything. You are in the end. You have
to make the choice, because if I chose for you,
it doesn't mean anything. And I think that's just the
best possible method. But I can also see how unbelievably
(55:54):
difficult it would be to carry that out all the time.
You know, it's yeah, So anyway, the let's see if
you need to go go along. I'll tackle Simon next.
It's going to be my job to prod his former department.
(56:16):
It seems HEROS has been slow to get into gear
on this problem. Though I don't suppose I can fall
INSECT for refusing to reason in advance of its data.
Why not they have before often enough. Now, now, don't
be snied, my lady mother. I'm glad to find you
(56:36):
here anyway where else. She hesitated, then admitted, Riley, I
bet Eryl you would choose the little admiral. That is
such a line. I never like, I just didn't fully
think of them as two separate identities in enough to
(57:00):
really consider Miles abandoning barri Are. I just never, really,
it never really ever felt like a threat to me
that he was going to run off with the Dandari.
I just I'm surprised, I genuinely am that she thought
that's what he would pick.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
And if this is.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
All had happened five years earlier, probably he would. I
have to say, I think a lot of the way
he's handling this is due to maturing and beginning to
see some of the things that he hasn't prioritized in
a clearer light now that he is getting older, and
the consequences of things just become a bit more serious.
(57:49):
And I don't know, I just you know, I'm curious
anybody listening whether you thought he was going to potentially
just like Bail once he realized there was no job
holding him here, was he just going to fucking go off?
It just it really never felt like a true possibility,
(58:12):
and for me, her misjudging him that much. So it's
just surprising because for the most part, I thought that
she had a really good handle on who Miles is,
and that is so different to how I see him.
And it may simply be parents. When they don't see
(58:36):
you all the time, they sort of lag behind in
terms of your developing personality. When you get older, it's
sort of an odd thing where you oftentimes move out
of their house into like a dorm and if you're
going to college, you know, or you move out with roommates,
and that first stage of moving out, you're still in
(58:58):
close proximity to them a lot of the time, and
you will be like around enough that they still have
a handle on you.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
But then maybe you.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Move further away, or you get a job, or you
get a partner, and you stop seeing them as often
and you keep growing, but they still have a sort
of idea of who you are based on what they
knew of you when they saw you frequently several years earlier.
And I'm sort of thinking maybe that's what's going on,
(59:28):
is that she just hasn't been around Miles consistently as
we have as readers in his head able to like
actually watch the changes that he's going through and the
way he sees things, and so maybe she just sees
him the way he was, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Naysmith is a Baiton's side of Miles. She chose to
settle with Barry Are, but maybe part of her thought.
Speaker 2 (59:56):
He would make a different choice.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
Maybe Macan says, I never thought he'd nay Smith, but
it doesn't surprise me. Cordelia thought he might. Perhaps a
bit of projection on her part. Maybe that's interesting. But yeah,
so I just really like this section. I also really
need somebody to think of Lisa as maybe somebody of interest. Please,
(01:00:20):
can somebody think of Lisa? It's killing me, you guys, Hugh, Okay,
I've got to wrap this up. Thank you all again
so much for hanging out with me. I appreciate you
all so much. And I will be seeing you next
week with a new episode. No wait, i'll be seeing
you tomorrow because I skip Tuesday. So same time, five
(01:00:41):
thirty pm Central Standard Time tomorrow, Friday, the twenty fifth.
Be here or be not here to the.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Loom, motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
That was an Unspoiled Network podcast
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