April 17, 2019 • 27 mins
www.SpousalSupportPodcast.com
On this episode, we discuss all the highs and mostly lows of fitness after the age of forty (40). Paul talks about how he was the least athletic person growing up and after gaining over 50 lbs after high school and throughout his twenties, he began to adobt a healthier lifestyle and has actually enjoyed exercise since he started 5 years ago. Jaana, not so much. Jaana talks about the motivating factors of diet and exercise and how much it's been a challenge to continue to exercise 4 days a week when she's not seeing the big changes she hoped for.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I work out three days a week, four days a week, and I
hate every second
Speaker 2 (00:05):
second of it.
And I let Paul know about it.
I'm like the worst person towork out.
Yes.
Yeah you are.
I am.
Because I complained the wholetime and like, how are we doing
this?
What's the point of this?
I hate this.
I don't feel good.
I hate working out.
I still hate it.
Still hits five years later.
Yeah, it's been five years andI'm like, so this year I made a
(00:28):
new year's resolution to likenot complaining so much and that
lasted like a month.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
This is episode three, no energy person.
I'm going to start with the heywith the chunk of the day.
Okay.
And it's called Daydream Rosé soit's Kinda perfect, right?
Cool.
Well it's a rose blend from peeporganic.
I think that's from traderJoe's.
It is.
May find it to me and I'm veryexcited about it globally.
(00:56):
Rosie, cheers.
Hmm.
I have bubbly Paul's drinkingsoda because he's at the peak of
fit, which just so happens to beour topic.
Lucky you.
You are a master come up yet.
Let everyone see really quick.
Huh?
Look at, look at this kid had ithere.
This boy look at with Biba dipshit.
(01:17):
Ah, I mean he's a door.
Say Hello.
Say Hello.
Say Hello.
Okay.
What are your map?
Oh, he's going to be dejected orit's going to bite your hands
the whole time.
We don't have much time.
Come on.
Okay, you sit.
So he's really excited cause hewon't, I can't say it out loud,
(01:39):
but he wants to go get Steve.
I know he does.
He's like, let's get it.
The witching hour.
Anything after 6:30 PM he startsto freak like the family needs
to be home.
I can't understand why we're notall together.
Right.
It's okay.
Okay.
We'll be together soon.
So fitness, fitness, Miss.
After let's, we're 40 Paul'salmost 40 almost were free.
(02:04):
Basically I'm dipping my tits inforties doe.
I was going to say Dick, I'mdude dip in my Dick and forties
my tits was funny.
I was like, oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
What if, what if Yanas motherwatches Dick?
No, she just said, no, she'sher.
(02:25):
Now.
She's heard me say deck andtips, but I don't care if my, if
my mother hears me only wine.
But yes, we're dipping our dicksin forties hole is what we're
doing here.
Only about a month and a halfaway, I'll be 40.
And so fitness.
Now look, I never, ever, ever,ever, ever, the only thing that
(02:49):
I was ever, the only thing I wasgood at, I was never good at
sports.
I was the catcher at in teeball.
You don't need a catcher in teeball.
Rarely does the catch or doanything.
But I was Chubby and they feltbad for me.
So they gave you a position?
I certainly wasn't a position.
Um, I look, I was always last tobe called because I was sucked,
(03:13):
uh, at kickball or dodge ballwhen it was my turn.
Typically like the entireoutfield would come in because
they knew it wasn't going to gopull is coming up.
So yeah, my self esteem isawesome.
And um, what was I gonna say?
(03:35):
Oh.
So then like really, you know,every quarter or every semester
in junior high and high school,they would do, um, a physical
fitness test and you have to runa mile, do sit ups, sit and
reach.
I think that was it.
It was like those three things.
Yeah.
Um, and I was always, I'mextremely flexible
Speaker 2 (03:56):
to a fault.
Yeah.
He's not lying there too.
Like he would really love Yoga,but he has, I probably, yeah, I
could do anything.
Right.
They just don't have time
Speaker 1 (04:03):
for yogurt.
Yogurt.
I Love Yogurt though.
Um, the Greek variety.
So I was fat.
I got fat and like I think I wasonly skinny for like three to
not even skinny.
I was normal for like two yearsof my life in high school, in
high school.
Um, and then the rest of thetime I was kind of plump,
(04:24):
pleasantly plump.
And then we met and then we atelots of pizzas together.
Oh, thank God.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Eat.
We'd eat all, we would split anextra large pizza from Papa
John's with the bar butter withbutter sauce and ranch dressing.
We, we frequented Bob's big boyat like two o'clock in the
morning for French fries andgrilled cheese and club
sandwich.
(04:50):
I mean, we didn't, we did nothold back at all.
We love to eat together.
We still love to eat together.
Food is food is my life.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And, and then so then after and then after we broke up
and then I drank a lot with mybuddies because we were in
college and it was like fivenights a week we were out
drinking and inevitably it wasfollowed by grilled cheese
sandwiches.
Yeah.
So I put on quite a lot ofweight.
I think I had maybe two 50 atone point.
Okay.
And I'm only five[inaudible]nine yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Whatever.
I still liked you.
I know, but that's not healthyfor me.
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'm not saying you can't, you shouldn't be fat or
big or that two 50 is a badthing.
I'm no offense to anybody who istwo 50 but for me, I felt too
much.
Yeah.
So then we hit like 35 Steviewas three years old.
Yeah.
Sounds right.
Three or four years old.
He had just started school andthen we were just like, let's
(05:53):
do, let's start working out.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well Paul really wanted to, and I hadn't, I was
not a fitness guru by any means.
I played volleyball in highschool and kept like somewhat
active.
And before I got pregnant I hadbeen running on my own.
I did good writing.
I did like a couch to 10 K andI'm, so there was a few things I
did to try, like kind of try tostay in somewhat like minimal
(06:19):
shape.
Um, but then when Paul reallywanted to get serious about it,
I felt like, well, it's a goodopportunity to support him and
to also do something good formyself.
So we went to a trainer for acouple of years.
We started with just going tothe gym.
Oh yeah, we were going to thegym on her own first.
(06:39):
No, we were like making noprogress, like lifting weights.
Totally wrong.
You know, just didn't understandfitness.
I would say yes.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I would say three weeks into it.
Yeah.
We run into a guy who trainingsomebody there and I knew him.
I knew him from before this GuyMike w.
If it wasn't for him, like Iwouldn't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, we probably still would be totally lost.
Yeah.
He just showed us proper form,proper technique like how to do
high intensity workouts, right.
How to use all the machines.
So he just paved the way for usto like make ourselves
Speaker 1 (07:16):
learn, learn.
And so we did that for like twoyears with him.
Two days of almost, it was twoyears.
When did we start at 14 to 25thJanuary 20 you know better than
me.
I don't remember.
I have a really bad memory.
Yeah, we started in January,2014 okay, sounds good.
And then we worked out likealmost two days a week and then
(07:37):
we do two days with him two daysa week.
And then we had two days a weekof running on and so I went from
like 240 pounds to two to190590990 by like September.
I remember all this stuff bylike September of like 2015 k
(08:01):
before we moved, I hit 190 andthat's the lowest I've ever been
since maybe high school.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And then for me it was a little bit different
because the two years that wewere working out, I didn't
notice any weight fluctuations.
In fact, it may have even gaineda little weight because of the
muscle.
Um, and so it wasn't until Mayof 2015 that I changed my, well
that because I started like adiet program, like legit
(08:30):
hardcore Diet Program in May of2015 I remember, cause I have
pictures of it, like I went fromChunky to sleek and like three
months.
But yeah, I started a hardcorediet program and so I didn't
notice any fluctuation in myweight until I changed my eating
habits.
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
90%.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not just working out forsure.
It's like the last 10
Speaker 1 (08:56):
20% to help you look a little well cause you could
look it skinny but not have anydefinition or muscles or
anything.
Sure.
No, no real body compositionchanges happen unless you start
working on building muscle.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And from what I understand it, I'm an expert and
you know, the more muscle youhave, the more calories you burn
during the day withoutexercising.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah.
So be quiet.
I hate talking about muscles andyou know, to be honest, I have
not been a good, I always tellmy girlfriends, it's like I work
out three days a week, four daysa week, and I hate every second
of it.
And I let Paul know about it.
I'm like the worst person towork out.
(09:40):
Yes.
Yeah, you are.
I am.
Because I complained the wholetime.
They're like, why are we doingthis?
What's the point of this?
I hate this.
I don't feel good.
I hate working out.
I still hate it.
Still hates us five years later.
Yeah, it's been five years.
And I'm like, so this year Imade a new year's resolution to
like not complain so much andthat lasted like a month.
(10:02):
It's Christ, but it's one ofthose things.
It's like, I know if I fall offthe wagon, I'm going to regret
it because I put five years intogetting to the point that this
physical fitness physique, thisbody, but I have put in five
(10:24):
years of work, right.
Which ps still can't do a pullup, still can't do a pushup.
Thank you.
But I still have worked manydays a week have shown up.
I've shown the F up.
Okay.
Showing up everyday that, andyou don't give yourself enough
credit for that.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
You show up every week.
I might not be smiling, but I amthere some weeks more than
others.
But you still show up and, andwhat you don't really realize is
all the other benefits thatyou're getting from it.
And just because you may not beseeing big physical changes, you
(11:04):
know, you're stronger for it.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You're building your bones because women get
osteoporosis.
Yeah.
That kind of scares me the most.
It's like I know I need to keepwhat's osteoporosis bone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bone density goes down.
Yeah.
Um, and then, and then otherthings that women get and men
get.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
So that's always been like athing, like I don't want to die
(11:30):
young or like withering away.
I don't want to win.
If I make it to my eighties, Idon't want to wither away, but I
also don't want to be big andunhealthy.
And so that was my goal.
It was like I just want to bebetter at myself.
Yeah.
The better version of me.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, and I think it was nice that we had each other,
even though I'm a horribleworkout partner, I think it's
nice that to have somebody toshow up with and just kind of
keep it going.
I mean, now he's at a pointwhere whether I did it or not, I
think you'd be fully on board.
Like he runs on his own on theweekends and you know, does a
harder workout than me.
(12:08):
Um, so I think you'd be in fineshape if I quit, but I just
don't want you to quit.
I don't want to quit either.
Um, I do want to, but I don'tknow.
Why do you hate it so much?
I don't know.
You know what it is?
I hate everything about it.
I bet you if you saw drasticchanges quickly, you would stick
(12:28):
around maybe.
But I also feel like, yeah, butI also feel like everyone's
like, oh my God, I have so muchmore energy when I work out and
I'm this and that.
Not me.
I have the opposite.
Lower sex drive, lower energy,everything is harder.
I don't feel like it helps boostthat I stuff.
(12:50):
Maybe we're just working out toohard.
I think we're just lifting,pumping too much iron.
The days that I don't work out,I have way more energy during
the day.
I'm like ready to rock and rolland get things done.
When I don't work out.
The mornings that I start with ahard workout, I'm just like, all
(13:10):
right, now I need a nap.
Right.
So that part of, it's reallyhard for me cause I'm already
kind of a low energy person.
A low energy person.
Donald Trump would say forever.
No, no.
(13:43):
Anyway, I do.
I do feel like I'm an introverttoo, so I need a lot of recharge
time and things like that.
I just feel like there are, I'man excited person too when the
timing is excitable, but overallI just, I just want to things to
be chill.
You don't work, you're right,you're too pretty.
(14:10):
But one thing that also likemakes me think of is the self
esteem thing because like yousaid, if I saw big physical
changes, would I feel betterabout working out?
And I don't know.
Because there was a time where Iwas seeing the big physical
changes.
I was getting slimmer andstronger and I do think it was
(14:31):
much more motivating than theplaces that I'm in now.
But I lost, let's see, Iprobably went from one 58 to one
32 was my lowest.
I think that's a lot for you andI felt slimmer, but I still
(14:52):
hated my body.
Right.
I thought that when I lost 25pounds I would be, I would look
a certain way, but I look thesame just in a smaller package.
So I didn't have like all of asudden have like a cute round
belly button.
My belly button's still likekind of sad and I still had like
flabby areas on my hips andbutt.
(15:13):
Um, so I think, I think moreimportant for me, and it's
something that I'm still workingon constantly, is just body
acceptance.
Because even when I was skinny,I was still picking myself
apart.
You and everybody out, 90% ofpeople.
Right.
And I told you this yesterday orthe day before, I'm like, even
(15:34):
men have body dysmorphic isright.
Oh absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think women get too much ofthe publicity on that front, on
that, you know, well causemental issue.
I do think that like most womencan relate, I'm sure men who are
into fitness and you know, youcan relate on a certain level.
(15:58):
I think men, um,
Speaker 5 (16:02):
I think
Speaker 2 (16:04):
we deal with it differently.
Maybe we deal with itdifferently.
Okay.
We, we all would love to have asix pack and have big guns and
stuff, but you know, eventuallyyou just get fat and, and it's
just almost acceptable for mento drink beer and have a belly.
Sure.
(16:24):
And so we get away with that.
That's kind of like our, youknow, our,
Speaker 5 (16:28):
okay.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Copout our escape goat is just like, well, he's
just a guy and he drinks, hedrinks his beer and has a belly.
That's the thing that likeconfuses me.
It's just because I would neverlook at another woman who was
like overweight or had a gut orI would never look at her and
go, Jesus Christ, like thiswoman needs to take care of
herself.
I don't think in those terms.
But for some reason I constantlytell myself like how disgusting
(16:52):
I am.
Right?
Like what?
Why?
Right.
And I'm like, 90% of people areso concerned with how they look
that they wouldn't care how Ilook.
Right.
So why do I care so much?
I just don't understand thementality and I don't know how
to get past that mentality.
Right.
And so, yeah, so like in thelast year I've gained 10 pounds
(17:12):
and it's just been like tryingto, instead of trying to be like
on a hardcore diet again becauseI mean not that I haven't tried,
I'll go like a week and I'm justlike, I can't live like this.
Like it's all mental, it's allmental and it's just like trying
to reach that point of justaccepting that like I'm 40 this
is fine, you know?
Yeah.
I've had a kid, I'm not the peakof fitness, but I, you know, I'm
(17:35):
healthy.
When I went to my doctor, shesaid I had the best blood work
sheet ever seen.
I'm healthy.
That's the important healthy,but I can't get over like how I
look in a bathing suit, whichwas just so aggravating.
Again,
Speaker 1 (17:50):
you and the other like 2.9 billion other,
Speaker 2 (17:55):
what don't you say?
Like 90% of people don't likehow they look at anything suit.
Right.
Why can't we just live?
I don't know.
I blame the Kardashians.
Everything is their fault.
Definitely.
But yeah, and it, it brings up agood point because even going
(18:15):
into like I was talking to ortexting with a couple of my
girlfriends and I was like, sobasically what Pinterest has
taught me is that I like skinnygirls and pretty much any
outfit.
And one of my friends said,yeah, you know, it's true skinny
cells and she's like, as much asI don't want to buy into that,
isn't it weird how you're justnaturally gravitated towards
(18:36):
like thin images?
And so it, it got me thinkingabout like where does my
fascination or where does my,um, that draw come from?
And because I was thinking backto like my mother and she was,
um, she was always healthy andin good shape, but she never
(18:57):
upset.
I don't feel like she everobsessed over her body or talked
about being fat or told me thatI needed to lose weight or that
I was too big.
Um, I never really had anyexperiences at school that, I
mean, I had a couple I've toldyou about, like I think in fifth
grade somebody told me I lookedlike I was pregnant and then,
(19:17):
and then, um, and then there wastimes in seventh grade where I
would look at my pants and justlike, oh my God, my stomach is
so disgusting.
But like, why, why did I thinkthat?
And so I don't know if it'ssomething that's this generation
being brought up with likeadvertising and magazine.
I don't know.
Because do you feel like, I justthink
Speaker 1 (19:38):
people are innately, we're hardwired to look at other
people who are better than us,like who we deemed better than
us and say, well, that's thehealthy norm.
And I, you know, I think it'slike for survival purposes, it's
just like, hmm.
You're just like, well, thatperson looks healthy because
they are skinnier than me.
And so I need to be like that.
(19:59):
Or that person gets to procreatemore than me because they look a
certain way.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I think genetically it's just the way
we're predis predisposing oldentimes, like white fat ladies
were aware it was at becauseit's like, oh that, that lady's
huge and she's really well fed.
So that is
Speaker 1 (20:19):
cause that all had to do with money because you either
had or you didn't and you'reeither starving or you are, you
are, you were full
Speaker 2 (20:26):
well taken care of so it's screwed up and you just
can't give a shit.
How do you I know, I don't know.
I don't know how to, no, I don'tthink we're going to solve that
in seven minutes.
I want to not give a shit.
And I mean you as a kid you gotbullied sometimes.
Sure.
Cause I was Chubby.
(20:47):
And if you look at the pictures
Speaker 1 (20:48):
from that time, it wasn't like you weren't like a
big old kid.
I wasn't a bit, I mean it's notlike I like look, I loved my
Tang Fuck anybody.
If they think Tang wasn't whereit was at.
Oh I don't like saying I loveTang.
I loved Koolaid.
I loved sugar cereal.
You do.
You still have a sweet tooth.
(21:09):
I have a sweet tooth and thatthere's anything wrong.
No.
And so I, you know, you couldask my sister, we would make
very large cups of Tang and thenslush out the bottom.
Sugar remnants.
And what does that mean?
Slush out the bottom?
Because at the bottom of thetank, yeah, there's always sugar
leftover.
I would slush it out with aspoon.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I would straight up drinks
Speaker 1 (21:32):
or I would have my cereal and then I would add
sugar to it and then drink thesugar.
Milk sugar at the bottom ofCheerio's was gray.
So what, where was I going withthis?
I said when you were a kid youwere a little chubby and like,
yeah.
So I was a little chubby.
I wasn't anything extraordinary,but I, you know, yeah, a little
(21:53):
plump, little pudgy low HuskyGuy, Husky.
I think that's what it was.
Somebody told me.
Your, your Husky.
I think I was told once and ifthat's the first grade.
Yeah.
And other things.
There were the other, other,other situations.
But you don't want to see mecry.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
But it's amazing how, how much that stuff sticks with
you.
You know, 30 years later, 40years later, I think in how much
it influences your childhoodbecause when you get picked on
other kids and those kids pickon other kids and it's like
you're always just like selfpreservation, like trying to
protect yourself from gettinghurt.
(22:30):
Yup.
And it turns into this wholeother,
Speaker 1 (22:33):
right.
It's sad.
Kids are shit.
They're just trying to figure itout.
I'm just trying to figure out,wait, when you say they're the
shit, it sounds like they'reawesome.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
They are all shit.
Most all kids are shit.
They're just trying to figure itout, honey.
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
But they don't have to be mean.
I know, but they are.
So there you have it.
And then it took me, so it tookme like 30 years to figure out
not to give a shit right now.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Uh, I, yes.
I, I'm not gonna lie.
You feel like you found abalance because I think there's
a big difference of what?
Of like not giving a shit butenjoying your life a little bit
or like monitoring your diet.
But still enjoying your life.
I feel like you're in a goodpoint.
You're asking
Speaker 1 (23:21):
me.
Yes, yes.
There's a balance between I'mstill going to eat the things
that I want when I want, butthen I'm going to spend most of
my time during the week eatinglots of fucking spinach.
Oh my God, this guy eats so muchspinach.
I can't even tell you thekitchen chicken.
And um, and then I go throughphases and the last phase I went
(23:42):
through was like three or fourmonths where I was pretty on
everything, tried to dropanother 10 20 pounds.
There was really no specificamount I was looking for, but I
was just trying to get thingsback on track.
And then since then it's justbeen, you know, kind of balance
trying to keep it level becauseit's almost impossible not to go
(24:03):
to work and somebody's notbringing in donuts or somebody
not have cookies or somebody whowill not make you know
something.
Yeah.
So, um, yeah, you have to havebalance because you can't live
your whole life in a caloricdeficit.
Yeah.
Cause I say it's a lifestylechange, but to what extent?
Right.
And you know, like at what cost.
Right.
And I tell you all the time likewe're not, we're not training
(24:25):
our bodies for the, you know,for our next runaway Gig.
Nobody gives a fuck about whatwe look like.
And so it really is the way I'vetried to shift my perspective on
my fitness is this dog is alljust about like what goals that
(24:47):
I want to reach for myself.
Yeah.
I want it to be able to hikehalf dome,
Speaker 2 (24:52):
which did,
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I hadn't done it since I was 18, so I wanted to
try it again.
This guy for hugging.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
So anxious right now he wants his TV home.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
And I think that, I think havinggoals for yourself is really
important.
I know a lot of times, like wewent to Disneyworld last
September and leading up to thetrip I was like, oh my God, I'm
going to have to wear a bathingsuit.
And I was freaking out and likeI got to go back on a diet.
I got to get fit.
I got to lose these five, 10pounds.
(25:24):
And the longer I went and thelonger I tried where nothing was
happening, I kind of remindedmyself like, listen, if you lose
five or 10 pounds or are yougoing to have more fun at Disney
world or are you going to careless what you look like?
And it was like, I actuallyknow,
Speaker 1 (25:41):
oh, Danny, I am so sorry.
Forgive me.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
And so, yeah.
And so at that point, but then Isometimes feel like, okay, are
you just making excuses foryourself because you don't want
to be on a diet?
And if I had really pushedthrough and lost that 10 pounds,
maybe I would've felt better.
Right.
But honestly, sometimes just afew
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Margaritas by the pool and I'm fine.
Best of both worlds.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So we have this Mexico trip coming up to, and of
course I started thinking againlike, oh my God, I'm going to be
in a bathing suit in front ofpeople.
Like this is the worst thingever.
I need to lose 10 pounds.
And I've been tracking mycalories and like trying to do
really good.
And nothing's happening.
So then I start saying, well, ifI lose 10 pounds, is it really
going to ruin my or make my tripbetter?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Probably not.
Right.
And that, but that should belike your whole life.
That should be life, right?
Not just like these specifictrips.
If I lose five or 10 pounds, amI going to be healthier?
If
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I lose five or 10 pounds, am I going to feel
better about myself?
Right.
Why do you think that you, Imean, I always think that I
will.
Like you have, I lose 10 pounds.
I'm going to be like on top ofthe world and then I lose them
and I'm like, I could lose fivemore.
Right.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Anyway, it's in mind.
It's all in your head.
It's all mind game and I justdon't know how to be cool.
(27:07):
See, oh, just be cool.
Huh?
I Dunno.
I don't know the answer.
I don't know the answer tolife's questions.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah.
Nobody.
Okay, cool.
All right.
Thanks for listening guys.
If you have any comments aboutfitness, diet, culture, things
like that, leave it below in thecomments and make sure to
subscribe.
And Mel.
I work out three days a week, four days a week, and I
hate every second
Speaker 2 (00:05):
second of it.
And I let Paul know about it.
I'm like the worst person towork out.
Yes.
Yeah you are.
I am.
Because I complained the wholetime and like, how are we doing
this?
What's the point of this?
I hate this.
I don't feel good.
I hate working out.
I still hate it.
Still hits five years later.
Yeah, it's been five years andI'm like, so this year I made a
(00:28):
new year's resolution to likenot complaining so much and that
lasted like a month.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
This is episode three, no energy person.
I'm going to start with the heywith the chunk of the day.
Okay.
And it's called Daydream Rosé soit's Kinda perfect, right?
Cool.
Well it's a rose blend from peeporganic.
I think that's from traderJoe's.
It is.
May find it to me and I'm veryexcited about it globally.
(00:56):
Rosie, cheers.
Hmm.
I have bubbly Paul's drinkingsoda because he's at the peak of
fit, which just so happens to beour topic.
Lucky you.
You are a master come up yet.
Let everyone see really quick.
Huh?
Look at, look at this kid had ithere.
This boy look at with Biba dipshit.
(01:17):
Ah, I mean he's a door.
Say Hello.
Say Hello.
Say Hello.
Okay.
What are your map?
Oh, he's going to be dejected orit's going to bite your hands
the whole time.
We don't have much time.
Come on.
Okay, you sit.
So he's really excited cause hewon't, I can't say it out loud,
(01:39):
but he wants to go get Steve.
I know he does.
He's like, let's get it.
The witching hour.
Anything after 6:30 PM he startsto freak like the family needs
to be home.
I can't understand why we're notall together.
Right.
It's okay.
Okay.
We'll be together soon.
So fitness, fitness, Miss.
After let's, we're 40 Paul'salmost 40 almost were free.
(02:04):
Basically I'm dipping my tits inforties doe.
I was going to say Dick, I'mdude dip in my Dick and forties
my tits was funny.
I was like, oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
What if, what if Yanas motherwatches Dick?
No, she just said, no, she'sher.
(02:25):
Now.
She's heard me say deck andtips, but I don't care if my, if
my mother hears me only wine.
But yes, we're dipping our dicksin forties hole is what we're
doing here.
Only about a month and a halfaway, I'll be 40.
And so fitness.
Now look, I never, ever, ever,ever, ever, the only thing that
(02:49):
I was ever, the only thing I wasgood at, I was never good at
sports.
I was the catcher at in teeball.
You don't need a catcher in teeball.
Rarely does the catch or doanything.
But I was Chubby and they feltbad for me.
So they gave you a position?
I certainly wasn't a position.
Um, I look, I was always last tobe called because I was sucked,
(03:13):
uh, at kickball or dodge ballwhen it was my turn.
Typically like the entireoutfield would come in because
they knew it wasn't going to gopull is coming up.
So yeah, my self esteem isawesome.
And um, what was I gonna say?
(03:35):
Oh.
So then like really, you know,every quarter or every semester
in junior high and high school,they would do, um, a physical
fitness test and you have to runa mile, do sit ups, sit and
reach.
I think that was it.
It was like those three things.
Yeah.
Um, and I was always, I'mextremely flexible
Speaker 2 (03:56):
to a fault.
Yeah.
He's not lying there too.
Like he would really love Yoga,but he has, I probably, yeah, I
could do anything.
Right.
They just don't have time
Speaker 1 (04:03):
for yogurt.
Yogurt.
I Love Yogurt though.
Um, the Greek variety.
So I was fat.
I got fat and like I think I wasonly skinny for like three to
not even skinny.
I was normal for like two yearsof my life in high school, in
high school.
Um, and then the rest of thetime I was kind of plump,
(04:24):
pleasantly plump.
And then we met and then we atelots of pizzas together.
Oh, thank God.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Eat.
We'd eat all, we would split anextra large pizza from Papa
John's with the bar butter withbutter sauce and ranch dressing.
We, we frequented Bob's big boyat like two o'clock in the
morning for French fries andgrilled cheese and club
sandwich.
(04:50):
I mean, we didn't, we did nothold back at all.
We love to eat together.
We still love to eat together.
Food is food is my life.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And, and then so then after and then after we broke up
and then I drank a lot with mybuddies because we were in
college and it was like fivenights a week we were out
drinking and inevitably it wasfollowed by grilled cheese
sandwiches.
Yeah.
So I put on quite a lot ofweight.
I think I had maybe two 50 atone point.
Okay.
And I'm only five[inaudible]nine yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Whatever.
I still liked you.
I know, but that's not healthyfor me.
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'm not saying you can't, you shouldn't be fat or
big or that two 50 is a badthing.
I'm no offense to anybody who istwo 50 but for me, I felt too
much.
Yeah.
So then we hit like 35 Steviewas three years old.
Yeah.
Sounds right.
Three or four years old.
He had just started school andthen we were just like, let's
(05:53):
do, let's start working out.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well Paul really wanted to, and I hadn't, I was
not a fitness guru by any means.
I played volleyball in highschool and kept like somewhat
active.
And before I got pregnant I hadbeen running on my own.
I did good writing.
I did like a couch to 10 K andI'm, so there was a few things I
did to try, like kind of try tostay in somewhat like minimal
(06:19):
shape.
Um, but then when Paul reallywanted to get serious about it,
I felt like, well, it's a goodopportunity to support him and
to also do something good formyself.
So we went to a trainer for acouple of years.
We started with just going tothe gym.
Oh yeah, we were going to thegym on her own first.
(06:39):
No, we were like making noprogress, like lifting weights.
Totally wrong.
You know, just didn't understandfitness.
I would say yes.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I would say three weeks into it.
Yeah.
We run into a guy who trainingsomebody there and I knew him.
I knew him from before this GuyMike w.
If it wasn't for him, like Iwouldn't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, we probably still would be totally lost.
Yeah.
He just showed us proper form,proper technique like how to do
high intensity workouts, right.
How to use all the machines.
So he just paved the way for usto like make ourselves
Speaker 1 (07:16):
learn, learn.
And so we did that for like twoyears with him.
Two days of almost, it was twoyears.
When did we start at 14 to 25thJanuary 20 you know better than
me.
I don't remember.
I have a really bad memory.
Yeah, we started in January,2014 okay, sounds good.
And then we worked out likealmost two days a week and then
(07:37):
we do two days with him two daysa week.
And then we had two days a weekof running on and so I went from
like 240 pounds to two to190590990 by like September.
I remember all this stuff bylike September of like 2015 k
(08:01):
before we moved, I hit 190 andthat's the lowest I've ever been
since maybe high school.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And then for me it was a little bit different
because the two years that wewere working out, I didn't
notice any weight fluctuations.
In fact, it may have even gaineda little weight because of the
muscle.
Um, and so it wasn't until Mayof 2015 that I changed my, well
that because I started like adiet program, like legit
(08:30):
hardcore Diet Program in May of2015 I remember, cause I have
pictures of it, like I went fromChunky to sleek and like three
months.
But yeah, I started a hardcorediet program and so I didn't
notice any fluctuation in myweight until I changed my eating
habits.
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
90%.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not just working out forsure.
It's like the last 10
Speaker 1 (08:56):
20% to help you look a little well cause you could
look it skinny but not have anydefinition or muscles or
anything.
Sure.
No, no real body compositionchanges happen unless you start
working on building muscle.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And from what I understand it, I'm an expert and
you know, the more muscle youhave, the more calories you burn
during the day withoutexercising.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah.
So be quiet.
I hate talking about muscles andyou know, to be honest, I have
not been a good, I always tellmy girlfriends, it's like I work
out three days a week, four daysa week, and I hate every second
of it.
And I let Paul know about it.
I'm like the worst person towork out.
(09:40):
Yes.
Yeah, you are.
I am.
Because I complained the wholetime.
They're like, why are we doingthis?
What's the point of this?
I hate this.
I don't feel good.
I hate working out.
I still hate it.
Still hates us five years later.
Yeah, it's been five years.
And I'm like, so this year Imade a new year's resolution to
like not complain so much andthat lasted like a month.
(10:02):
It's Christ, but it's one ofthose things.
It's like, I know if I fall offthe wagon, I'm going to regret
it because I put five years intogetting to the point that this
physical fitness physique, thisbody, but I have put in five
(10:24):
years of work, right.
Which ps still can't do a pullup, still can't do a pushup.
Thank you.
But I still have worked manydays a week have shown up.
I've shown the F up.
Okay.
Showing up everyday that, andyou don't give yourself enough
credit for that.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
You show up every week.
I might not be smiling, but I amthere some weeks more than
others.
But you still show up and, andwhat you don't really realize is
all the other benefits thatyou're getting from it.
And just because you may not beseeing big physical changes, you
(11:04):
know, you're stronger for it.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You're building your bones because women get
osteoporosis.
Yeah.
That kind of scares me the most.
It's like I know I need to keepwhat's osteoporosis bone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bone density goes down.
Yeah.
Um, and then, and then otherthings that women get and men
get.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
So that's always been like athing, like I don't want to die
(11:30):
young or like withering away.
I don't want to win.
If I make it to my eighties, Idon't want to wither away, but I
also don't want to be big andunhealthy.
And so that was my goal.
It was like I just want to bebetter at myself.
Yeah.
The better version of me.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, and I think it was nice that we had each other,
even though I'm a horribleworkout partner, I think it's
nice that to have somebody toshow up with and just kind of
keep it going.
I mean, now he's at a pointwhere whether I did it or not, I
think you'd be fully on board.
Like he runs on his own on theweekends and you know, does a
harder workout than me.
(12:08):
Um, so I think you'd be in fineshape if I quit, but I just
don't want you to quit.
I don't want to quit either.
Um, I do want to, but I don'tknow.
Why do you hate it so much?
I don't know.
You know what it is?
I hate everything about it.
I bet you if you saw drasticchanges quickly, you would stick
(12:28):
around maybe.
But I also feel like, yeah, butI also feel like everyone's
like, oh my God, I have so muchmore energy when I work out and
I'm this and that.
Not me.
I have the opposite.
Lower sex drive, lower energy,everything is harder.
I don't feel like it helps boostthat I stuff.
(12:50):
Maybe we're just working out toohard.
I think we're just lifting,pumping too much iron.
The days that I don't work out,I have way more energy during
the day.
I'm like ready to rock and rolland get things done.
When I don't work out.
The mornings that I start with ahard workout, I'm just like, all
(13:10):
right, now I need a nap.
Right.
So that part of, it's reallyhard for me cause I'm already
kind of a low energy person.
A low energy person.
Donald Trump would say forever.
No, no.
(13:43):
Anyway, I do.
I do feel like I'm an introverttoo, so I need a lot of recharge
time and things like that.
I just feel like there are, I'man excited person too when the
timing is excitable, but overallI just, I just want to things to
be chill.
You don't work, you're right,you're too pretty.
(14:10):
But one thing that also likemakes me think of is the self
esteem thing because like yousaid, if I saw big physical
changes, would I feel betterabout working out?
And I don't know.
Because there was a time where Iwas seeing the big physical
changes.
I was getting slimmer andstronger and I do think it was
(14:31):
much more motivating than theplaces that I'm in now.
But I lost, let's see, Iprobably went from one 58 to one
32 was my lowest.
I think that's a lot for you andI felt slimmer, but I still
(14:52):
hated my body.
Right.
I thought that when I lost 25pounds I would be, I would look
a certain way, but I look thesame just in a smaller package.
So I didn't have like all of asudden have like a cute round
belly button.
My belly button's still likekind of sad and I still had like
flabby areas on my hips andbutt.
(15:13):
Um, so I think, I think moreimportant for me, and it's
something that I'm still workingon constantly, is just body
acceptance.
Because even when I was skinny,I was still picking myself
apart.
You and everybody out, 90% ofpeople.
Right.
And I told you this yesterday orthe day before, I'm like, even
(15:34):
men have body dysmorphic isright.
Oh absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think women get too much ofthe publicity on that front, on
that, you know, well causemental issue.
I do think that like most womencan relate, I'm sure men who are
into fitness and you know, youcan relate on a certain level.
(15:58):
I think men, um,
Speaker 5 (16:02):
I think
Speaker 2 (16:04):
we deal with it differently.
Maybe we deal with itdifferently.
Okay.
We, we all would love to have asix pack and have big guns and
stuff, but you know, eventuallyyou just get fat and, and it's
just almost acceptable for mento drink beer and have a belly.
Sure.
(16:24):
And so we get away with that.
That's kind of like our, youknow, our,
Speaker 5 (16:28):
okay.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Copout our escape goat is just like, well, he's
just a guy and he drinks, hedrinks his beer and has a belly.
That's the thing that likeconfuses me.
It's just because I would neverlook at another woman who was
like overweight or had a gut orI would never look at her and
go, Jesus Christ, like thiswoman needs to take care of
herself.
I don't think in those terms.
But for some reason I constantlytell myself like how disgusting
(16:52):
I am.
Right?
Like what?
Why?
Right.
And I'm like, 90% of people areso concerned with how they look
that they wouldn't care how Ilook.
Right.
So why do I care so much?
I just don't understand thementality and I don't know how
to get past that mentality.
Right.
And so, yeah, so like in thelast year I've gained 10 pounds
(17:12):
and it's just been like tryingto, instead of trying to be like
on a hardcore diet again becauseI mean not that I haven't tried,
I'll go like a week and I'm justlike, I can't live like this.
Like it's all mental, it's allmental and it's just like trying
to reach that point of justaccepting that like I'm 40 this
is fine, you know?
Yeah.
I've had a kid, I'm not the peakof fitness, but I, you know, I'm
(17:35):
healthy.
When I went to my doctor, shesaid I had the best blood work
sheet ever seen.
I'm healthy.
That's the important healthy,but I can't get over like how I
look in a bathing suit, whichwas just so aggravating.
Again,
Speaker 1 (17:50):
you and the other like 2.9 billion other,
Speaker 2 (17:55):
what don't you say?
Like 90% of people don't likehow they look at anything suit.
Right.
Why can't we just live?
I don't know.
I blame the Kardashians.
Everything is their fault.
Definitely.
But yeah, and it, it brings up agood point because even going
(18:15):
into like I was talking to ortexting with a couple of my
girlfriends and I was like, sobasically what Pinterest has
taught me is that I like skinnygirls and pretty much any
outfit.
And one of my friends said,yeah, you know, it's true skinny
cells and she's like, as much asI don't want to buy into that,
isn't it weird how you're justnaturally gravitated towards
(18:36):
like thin images?
And so it, it got me thinkingabout like where does my
fascination or where does my,um, that draw come from?
And because I was thinking backto like my mother and she was,
um, she was always healthy andin good shape, but she never
(18:57):
upset.
I don't feel like she everobsessed over her body or talked
about being fat or told me thatI needed to lose weight or that
I was too big.
Um, I never really had anyexperiences at school that, I
mean, I had a couple I've toldyou about, like I think in fifth
grade somebody told me I lookedlike I was pregnant and then,
(19:17):
and then, um, and then there wastimes in seventh grade where I
would look at my pants and justlike, oh my God, my stomach is
so disgusting.
But like, why, why did I thinkthat?
And so I don't know if it'ssomething that's this generation
being brought up with likeadvertising and magazine.
I don't know.
Because do you feel like, I justthink
Speaker 1 (19:38):
people are innately, we're hardwired to look at other
people who are better than us,like who we deemed better than
us and say, well, that's thehealthy norm.
And I, you know, I think it'slike for survival purposes, it's
just like, hmm.
You're just like, well, thatperson looks healthy because
they are skinnier than me.
And so I need to be like that.
(19:59):
Or that person gets to procreatemore than me because they look a
certain way.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I think genetically it's just the way
we're predis predisposing oldentimes, like white fat ladies
were aware it was at becauseit's like, oh that, that lady's
huge and she's really well fed.
So that is
Speaker 1 (20:19):
cause that all had to do with money because you either
had or you didn't and you'reeither starving or you are, you
are, you were full
Speaker 2 (20:26):
well taken care of so it's screwed up and you just
can't give a shit.
How do you I know, I don't know.
I don't know how to, no, I don'tthink we're going to solve that
in seven minutes.
I want to not give a shit.
And I mean you as a kid you gotbullied sometimes.
Sure.
Cause I was Chubby.
(20:47):
And if you look at the pictures
Speaker 1 (20:48):
from that time, it wasn't like you weren't like a
big old kid.
I wasn't a bit, I mean it's notlike I like look, I loved my
Tang Fuck anybody.
If they think Tang wasn't whereit was at.
Oh I don't like saying I loveTang.
I loved Koolaid.
I loved sugar cereal.
You do.
You still have a sweet tooth.
(21:09):
I have a sweet tooth and thatthere's anything wrong.
No.
And so I, you know, you couldask my sister, we would make
very large cups of Tang and thenslush out the bottom.
Sugar remnants.
And what does that mean?
Slush out the bottom?
Because at the bottom of thetank, yeah, there's always sugar
leftover.
I would slush it out with aspoon.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I would straight up drinks
Speaker 1 (21:32):
or I would have my cereal and then I would add
sugar to it and then drink thesugar.
Milk sugar at the bottom ofCheerio's was gray.
So what, where was I going withthis?
I said when you were a kid youwere a little chubby and like,
yeah.
So I was a little chubby.
I wasn't anything extraordinary,but I, you know, yeah, a little
(21:53):
plump, little pudgy low HuskyGuy, Husky.
I think that's what it was.
Somebody told me.
Your, your Husky.
I think I was told once and ifthat's the first grade.
Yeah.
And other things.
There were the other, other,other situations.
But you don't want to see mecry.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
But it's amazing how, how much that stuff sticks with
you.
You know, 30 years later, 40years later, I think in how much
it influences your childhoodbecause when you get picked on
other kids and those kids pickon other kids and it's like
you're always just like selfpreservation, like trying to
protect yourself from gettinghurt.
(22:30):
Yup.
And it turns into this wholeother,
Speaker 1 (22:33):
right.
It's sad.
Kids are shit.
They're just trying to figure itout.
I'm just trying to figure out,wait, when you say they're the
shit, it sounds like they'reawesome.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
They are all shit.
Most all kids are shit.
They're just trying to figure itout, honey.
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
But they don't have to be mean.
I know, but they are.
So there you have it.
And then it took me, so it tookme like 30 years to figure out
not to give a shit right now.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Uh, I, yes.
I, I'm not gonna lie.
You feel like you found abalance because I think there's
a big difference of what?
Of like not giving a shit butenjoying your life a little bit
or like monitoring your diet.
But still enjoying your life.
I feel like you're in a goodpoint.
You're asking
Speaker 1 (23:21):
me.
Yes, yes.
There's a balance between I'mstill going to eat the things
that I want when I want, butthen I'm going to spend most of
my time during the week eatinglots of fucking spinach.
Oh my God, this guy eats so muchspinach.
I can't even tell you thekitchen chicken.
And um, and then I go throughphases and the last phase I went
(23:42):
through was like three or fourmonths where I was pretty on
everything, tried to dropanother 10 20 pounds.
There was really no specificamount I was looking for, but I
was just trying to get thingsback on track.
And then since then it's justbeen, you know, kind of balance
trying to keep it level becauseit's almost impossible not to go
(24:03):
to work and somebody's notbringing in donuts or somebody
not have cookies or somebody whowill not make you know
something.
Yeah.
So, um, yeah, you have to havebalance because you can't live
your whole life in a caloricdeficit.
Yeah.
Cause I say it's a lifestylechange, but to what extent?
Right.
And you know, like at what cost.
Right.
And I tell you all the time likewe're not, we're not training
(24:25):
our bodies for the, you know,for our next runaway Gig.
Nobody gives a fuck about whatwe look like.
And so it really is the way I'vetried to shift my perspective on
my fitness is this dog is alljust about like what goals that
(24:47):
I want to reach for myself.
Yeah.
I want it to be able to hikehalf dome,
Speaker 2 (24:52):
which did,
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I hadn't done it since I was 18, so I wanted to
try it again.
This guy for hugging.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
So anxious right now he wants his TV home.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
And I think that, I think havinggoals for yourself is really
important.
I know a lot of times, like wewent to Disneyworld last
September and leading up to thetrip I was like, oh my God, I'm
going to have to wear a bathingsuit.
And I was freaking out and likeI got to go back on a diet.
I got to get fit.
I got to lose these five, 10pounds.
(25:24):
And the longer I went and thelonger I tried where nothing was
happening, I kind of remindedmyself like, listen, if you lose
five or 10 pounds or are yougoing to have more fun at Disney
world or are you going to careless what you look like?
And it was like, I actuallyknow,
Speaker 1 (25:41):
oh, Danny, I am so sorry.
Forgive me.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
And so, yeah.
And so at that point, but then Isometimes feel like, okay, are
you just making excuses foryourself because you don't want
to be on a diet?
And if I had really pushedthrough and lost that 10 pounds,
maybe I would've felt better.
Right.
But honestly, sometimes just afew
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Margaritas by the pool and I'm fine.
Best of both worlds.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So we have this Mexico trip coming up to, and of
course I started thinking againlike, oh my God, I'm going to be
in a bathing suit in front ofpeople.
Like this is the worst thingever.
I need to lose 10 pounds.
And I've been tracking mycalories and like trying to do
really good.
And nothing's happening.
So then I start saying, well, ifI lose 10 pounds, is it really
going to ruin my or make my tripbetter?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Probably not.
Right.
And that, but that should belike your whole life.
That should be life, right?
Not just like these specifictrips.
If I lose five or 10 pounds, amI going to be healthier?
If
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I lose five or 10 pounds, am I going to feel
better about myself?
Right.
Why do you think that you, Imean, I always think that I
will.
Like you have, I lose 10 pounds.
I'm going to be like on top ofthe world and then I lose them
and I'm like, I could lose fivemore.
Right.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Anyway, it's in mind.
It's all in your head.
It's all mind game and I justdon't know how to be cool.
(27:07):
See, oh, just be cool.
Huh?
I Dunno.
I don't know the answer.
I don't know the answer tolife's questions.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah.
Nobody.
Okay, cool.
All right.
Thanks for listening guys.
If you have any comments aboutfitness, diet, culture, things
like that, leave it below in thecomments and make sure to
subscribe.
And Mel.
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