Leaves

JohnMark crunches through the leaves, talks about needs in therapy, and announces Snack Time.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Over

Speaker 2 (00:13):
a podcast about Dissociative Identity Disorder.
If you are new to the podcast,we recommend starting at the
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we have learned through thisendeavor. Current episodes may
be more applicable to longtimelisteners and are likely to
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(00:34):
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more context to what we arecurrently learning and
experiencing. As always, pleasecare for yourself during and
after listening to the podcast.Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
So we have to park today, and I can play. And I can
go on the slide, and I can climbeverything. And I can run, and
we're playing together. Andthere's a lot of leaves, so I
can run at the leaves. Andthere's a stream, and I can I
can play by the stream andcaught some frogs?

(01:57):
And and and well, I don't knowwhat else to put. I can see a
therapist tomorrow or the nextday. It's almost time. She said

(02:19):
she didn't forget me, and shesaid I hold my horses. I'll see
her in a minute.
So in a minute, maybe on anotherday coming up. So if I hold my
horses, and I can I can hold myhorses, and I can see her pretty
soon, but not yet, almost? Butwe can already be here and be

(02:43):
close, and I can be ready. Andif it snows, I ain't so come
here. But but then I gotta tellher goodbye because and I gotta

(03:06):
tell her goodbye becauseLindsay's gonna be off for some
holidays, but sometimes theholidays so when I need some
help, so that's a little bithard for me.
But I know she tried being niceabout it, so I tried to be nice
about it. It says that a babydoesn't scream when it needs

(03:32):
something. He says a baby crieswhen it needs something. And
when it gets what it needs, itstops crying. But when it
doesn't get what it needs,that's why it screams.
And he says, that's why the samewith our kids. If they get what
they need, they might cry, butthey don't scream. But if they

(03:55):
don't get what they need and noone's listening at them, then
they will scream. But I thoughtmaybe it's the same with us or
me. I mean, I'm not screamer.
We don't really have well, weare screamers, I mean, maybe
that's, like, the same thing. Ifif we if we can get what we need

(04:17):
and someone will listen to us,so we we don't gotta scream or
do nothing that's not safebecause we can get our needs and
everything's okay. So it meansit means my therapist, she's
really good, and she reallylisten at me, and she really
help me. So we don't gotta donothing appropriate or or or or

(04:43):
ugly or or causing problems.Just keep talking together and
learning together, playingtogether.
Because if our if our needs aremet and if I can meet some
needs, like a rescue mission orsomething, then maybe then maybe

(05:06):
well, maybe everything's okaybecause because everything's
okay. So I remind myself andtell the others everything's
okay because our knees are ourknees are meeting, and our
therapist, she'll listen to usanything we wanna say or

(05:29):
anything we wanna write. Or ifwe need help her, hey. This is
really hard. I'm just saying,hey.
This is really hard. So then itkind of stops right at that
part. So it just kinda stops atthat part. So then it doesn't

(05:58):
have to get harder or it doesn'thave to get worser because we
set it. And since we set it, itcan stop getting worser.
I mean, it's getting harderbecause we said it. So it can
still be hard, and it still behard time of it. But if we say
it out loud to the therapist orif we write down for the

(06:22):
therapist, then that's meet ourneeds, and our therapist meet
our needs. And that just meansit might be hard, but it's not
worser. So even when I thoughtit was hard, I don't think it's
worser because because my myneeds are meeting, and she she

(06:49):
knows about my needs meeting,and she's good at that.
And I'm good at that. So me andher, we can be a team. We can
work together. So I'll get tosee her soon, maybe today or
tomorrow or the next day it is.I don't know.

(07:11):
But but when I do is is my needsare meeting. And then I feel
better, and they feel better.And the kids are and psychics
are not so so hard time orworser because our needs are

(07:32):
meeting. So I'm learning aboutthat. Also, I'm walking, and I
saw a squirrel, and I saw somebirds.
And the sun's out today. It'snot cold, and it's not snowy. So

(07:54):
it's kinda nice to play outside.So we came to the park and play
outside because, also, I justreally like to play outside in
the sunshine and breathe me someair and hold my horses for

(08:14):
therapy soon, but not yet. Maybein a minute or five minutes, but
I just wanna just in play withsome squirrels and some birds
and play on the playground andwalking.

(08:36):
And and and I am walking theleaves as a crunch, crunch,
crunch, but not the samecrunching as a snow crunch,
crunch, crunch. It's a differentkind of crunching, but I like
it. I like it because it meansI'm outside, and I'm playing,

(09:04):
and I have a strong game. It's agood day and some sunshine, and
I like that. But sometimes thoseleaves made me think it's
something else and does not meetmy needs is not meeting my
needs.
So sometimes I don't I don'tlike the leaves. It made me

(09:26):
worry a little bit, but I toldmy therapist about it. But it
reminds me of something else I Idon't really wanna talk about,
but I like the sunshine on. Andso I try to say, see, now time
is safe, and my needs aremeeting. So it's okay if I if I

(09:50):
want to just go on a little walkin the leaves and everything's
okay and happy.
And I try to do better and goodof how to do a better job of it,
have plans and rescue missions,and how maybe play. And then we

(10:13):
can play, so we need a snackbecause if you have playtime,
then it's snack time. So I cango through all these for because
I won't get snack time. So thatwas a very good idea. So I just

(10:46):
play, be nice to people, someneeds meeting for outside kids,
for inside kids, for everybodyto be happy and strong and a
good life kind of altogether andlearn some things.
Then when I'm done holding myhorses, I can go I can go to

(11:09):
therapy and see my therapistagain because I did a good job
holding my horses.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Thank you for listening. Your support really
helps us feel less alone whilewe sort through all of this and
learn together.