God Pushed You To Somewhere New Ft Matt Ryerson, CEO of YMCA East Tennessee

A powerful conversation unfolds as Matt Ryerson, the new CEO of YMCA East Tennessee, shares his courageous journey to a renewed purpose. After 15 years in the United Way network, Matt found himself successful on paper but disconnected from the direct impact that originally fueled his passion. His candid admission about wrestling with the fear of "what will people think?" resonates with anyone who's ever felt trapped in a prestigious role that may no longer bring fulfillment.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Check us out to hear the latest on life in the
volunteer state.
Yvonca and her guests discusseverything from life, love and
business with a Tennessee flair.
It's a Tennessee thing, alwaysrelatable, always relevant and
always a good time.
This is Talkin' Tennessee, andnow your host, yvonca.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
This episode is brought to you by the Landis
team, your go-to real estatefamily in East Tennessee.
If you are looking to buy orsell, we are the ones you should
call.
Give us a call at 865-660-1186or check out our website at
YvoncaSellsRealEstatecom.
That's Yvonca Y-V-O-N-N-C-ASalesRealEstatecom.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Welcome back to Talking Tennessee with Yvonne.
I am your host and I am herewith my dear friend, the new CEO
of the YMCA in Knoxville.
Welcome, matt Ryerson.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
It is great to be back.
Thanks for having me, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Most definitely.
Well, guys, the last time wewere talking with Matt, he was
at a different organization.
He was at the United Way ofKnoxville and you've
transitioned.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
I have Big move.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yes, both organizations are great
organizations, but sometimes youhave to make a move.
Sometimes God will move you,you know.
Even when you don't know youneed to move, he'll do a nudge.
I think you got the nudge.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
I did.
I got a pull, a nudge, a tap onthe shoulder, whatever you want
to call it.
I felt it.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
So what made you step out?
Let's get into it.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
Yeah, you know, go back a couple of years ago.
My mom passed away and mybrother and I.
I think that hit us hard.
I think it hit us particularlyhard because a few years prior
to that, my dad had passed away.
My mom and dad had lots ofplans and retirement visions,

(02:05):
visions, thoughts of what theywanted to do, and most of it
didn't come true and my momlived that shows reality too,
yes, and fast track, yes.
And her last few years of herlife, there was a lot of regret.
Like you could, she would tellme you know I'm so disappointed,
I disappointed, I'm so sad.
And there was.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
I wish we could have done this.
I wish we could have done thattogether.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yes, Even some anger, and I'll never forget.
After my mom passed, I was upin Ohio with my brother.
We're playing ping pong in themiddle of the night having a lot
of reflection and conversation,and one of the conversations
was about we can't.
We need to learn from this.
We can't live our lives at anypoint in regret.

(02:48):
And so fast forward to my timeat the United Way.
I was in the United Way networkfor 15 years total, a lot of
fundraising, an incredibleorganization doing incredible
stuff.
But the old football sayingthat I use all the time is I
emptied the tank Like I hadpoured my heart and soul into

(03:09):
that work, here in Knoxvilleespecially, and we all felt it
during COVID.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yes, that was hard.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
It was really hard and the tank was really empty
and I was having a hard time.
I'd take a vacation or go onsomething on the weekend and try
and and you just felt burnoutyes, and but you found out try
and you just felt burnout yes.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
And?
But you found out, it's morethan just being burnout.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, yeah.
And so I also at that time, wasfeeling a call, a real pull to
get closer to the work.
Yes, the United Way greatorganization, but they're a
layer removed from the work.
Right, they do a lot offundraising, they do a convening
, all of it's, but they're alayer removed from the work.
Right, they do a lot offundraising, they do a convening
, all of it's important.
But I kept finding myselfwanting to get closer to the

(03:50):
families.
We serve the kids, we serve theseniors we serve.
Yes, okay, I didn't know whatthat looked like, but in my time
in the United Way I built somegood relationships.
I was able to be transparentand started planning a
transition and during that mypredecessor at the YMCA, jim

(04:11):
Dixon, was going throughretirement and the timelines
didn't match perfectly.
But, as you were talking, it'sfunny how things barriers get
removed, doors open and a numberof things position themselves.
A lot of gifts to me and myfamily that really opened a door
at the YMCA and for me it was ahomecoming I started my career

(04:34):
at the YMCA, my first almost 10years of my professional career
as a kid you know, leading campsand childcare and fitness and
health.
All of that was kind of thestart of my career and it felt
like kind of a return back.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
It's like going back home.
It is something that you thatis dear to your heart.
You went out.
You did great things, but letme go back home and dig deeper.
Yeah, you know that type thing.
I would say that a lot of ithas to do with obedience.
I can relate to you because Ilost my parents.

(05:12):
Okay, I lost my parents beforeI was 40 years old.
I was without parents.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
And when you go through that, you have to lean
on a lot of people in thecommunity for guidance and you
knock your head a lot whenyou're when you don't have
parents.
You knock your head a lot andbut you have great mentors in
the community and I had greatmentors in the community but the
one thing about not havingparents, you, you reflect on

(05:43):
what you could have done if theywere there and what they could
have done with you, with yourfamily, your children, all that,
and so I think, with yousharing that it just shows that
you wanted to make sure that youwere doing the work that really
brought you joy.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Not saying that the United Way didn't bring you joy,
but you wanted a deeper joy,yeah.
And with your tank beingemptied, I think every leader
needs to be fulfilled inwhatever that may be Okay, and
when you're not being fulfilledin a position, you got to step

(06:24):
out on faith and just look forthat fulfillment, yeah, and then
you'll be better, a betterleader.
You'll find a part of yourcommunity that you fit.

Speaker 4 (06:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
And I think you found your fit.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
I did and thank you for saying that.
You know it's reallyinteresting because the role I
had at United Way as presidentand CEO is such an honor.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
Like it was an incredible privilege to serve in
that role Most definitely.
So you feel like this duty andresponsibility to never take it
lightly, to honor it.
And I came to this point andthis is really fascinating and
it was almost kind of an upsidedown mentality.
But for so long I was like Ican't give up this job because

(07:12):
so many people would die to havethis job.
This is such a privilege.
Then the other side of thatequation is but if the tank is
empty, if you're not finding thefulfillment that you really
need, Are you really servingthat position in the way that it
should be served, because it'sa privilege to be that CEO and

(07:33):
make it to be a CEO.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Am I serving that position in good order?

Speaker 4 (07:40):
That's right.
Exactly, it's a disservice tothe organization.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Because God said do everything in good order.
That's right, exactly.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
It's a disservice to the organization, because God
said do everything in good order.
Right.
And it was through thatdiscernment process that I said
you know, this is a move we mywife and family we really need
to make.
But, like you said, I wasscared.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Yeah, yeah, I was more, you know I literally, what
do you think your biggestchallenge was?
Well, the biggest challenge ismaking that decision.
Okay, but what was yourchallenge in moving?
I mean, once you got it in yourmind, okay, I've got to do this
.
What do you think your biggestchallenge?

Speaker 4 (08:17):
was, and I'm embarrassed to say this, but my
biggest thing was what arepeople going to think?

Speaker 3 (08:23):
And you know what, matt, let me say this I respect
that you're saying it.
I think more people need to saythat.
Okay, because I believe youknow we're taught don't worry
about what other people think,but to a certain extent, we do
care.
Yeah, we don't want people tothink that we did something
wrong.
We don't want people to thinkthat there's some big secret,

(08:46):
because people love theory.
Right, they do the big theory ofokay, what did Matt do?
Or why is he leaving, that typething.
And we have to realize that ifmore people don't speak up and
say my tank was empty, yeah.
I just didn't have anyfulfillment and I don't think I
was giving what that positionneeded at that time.

(09:07):
So I chose to step down for thefulfillment for all involved.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
That's exactly it.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
That's exactly it.
We have to be better at sayingokay, we have to understand that
people are going to talk,that's what they're going to do.
We have to understand thatpeople are going to talk, that's
what they're going to do butwhat the biggest thing is.
Are we doing what God wants usto do?
Are we moving the way that Godwould want us to do?
And is when, with your family,the stress of it all it brings?

(09:40):
a burden and I'm going to tellyou I will honor my pastor that
passed away a few years ago.
The one thing that he taught mehe taught me when I accepted
the calling on my life as aprophet is that he said when
things become a burden, you'renot doing God's work.
He said, because God will neverallow things to be a burden.

(10:03):
He said, when it becomes aburden, you have to move,
because if you, he said, that'show you don't try to do his job.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Right.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Okay.
So if it's a burden to you,even though you love it, you've
got to move, and that's what itbecame to you.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
Yeah, yeah, and that's.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
You know, it's scary you know, and as a primary
breadwinner of my house.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
You're like what?

Speaker 3 (10:29):
is this going to mean for and as a man I truly
believe that y'all's roles.
I tell my husband all the timeI would never want to be a man.
I said because if you reallythink about being a good man and
a provider for your family,that's scary because Because you
know, whatever decision youmake affects your whole family,
that's right, that's right.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
And to have my dad worked in a factory, yeah Right.
And so I'm sitting therethinking about this sweet job
where I'm the president of anonprofit and I work in an
office and I have all thisprivilege.
My dad worked third shift in afactory.
Who am I to complain about that?
But to your point, there is agreat responsibility.

(11:10):
I felt like could I have donethat job for another three, five
years?
Probably Would I have done itwell, probably not, probably not
right, and it probably wouldn'thave been my best.
I probably wouldn't have beenhappy, my family would have felt
it, and you know those samepeople that we thought about.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Okay, if I leave this job, what are people going to
think?
Well, just imagine if you wouldhave stayed in that job for the
next three to five years andyou're not fulfilled and it's a
burden.
Then people are still going totalk because they're going to
think he's not doing his job.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
Right and they would have been right.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Exactly, you see what .
I'm saying yeah, yeah yeah, soyou left on your own terms,
instead of it being a negativethought in everyone's mind that
you're not doing your job.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
Yeah, yeah, you know, and I grew up in this era and
my mom and dad in particularwere don't quit right, and so
that's kind of a part of my DNA,a part of who I am.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I was raised the same way.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Yeah, and so quitting a job feels like kind of a
slight on that, but the realityis it's not to me and certainly
I stepped down and resigned,quit technically, but the
reality is I like to look at itas I turn the page on a chapter.
Right, that was an incrediblechapter and it's okay it is.

(12:30):
Now it's somebody else'schapter to take on and I have no
doubt the United Way will be ingreat hands.
They have a great board ofdirectors and a great team over
there.
And now I get to dive into mynext chapter.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
He said I'm going to be at the YMCA and I'm going to
have passion and I'm going tohave fulfillment and I'm a dig
deeper.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah.
In fact, one quick story when Iwhen I arrived at the Y, my
second day on the job and myoffice is in a Y, so I'm like in
the, I love it.
In fact, across my hall, acrossthe hall from my office, is our
child watch program, sochildcare for little ones.
And so second day on the jobI'm walking into the office and

(13:13):
there's this mom and she's justgotten out of a class and she's
sweaty, she's got a bag, she'strying to wrestle a toddler and
she's got a car seat.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
We've all seen it and done it Right.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
Seat We've all seen it and done it right, and so I
was able to toss my bag aside,run over and say, hey, can I
help you with the car seat?
I got four kids I'm kind of apro.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
And she laughed and she starts talking about not
knowing I work there, y'all seehow approachable this person is.
Did you hear this?
How approachable he is.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
So I'm able to help her get this toddler squared
away.
And she is just going on and onabout how she's a single mom,
that she's got a scholarship toymca, that she couldn't commit
the time or energy to do thiswork on herself and for her
family if she didn't have thesupport of this organization.
She turns to me and she says doyou work here?

(13:59):
I said, yeah, I just started.
She has no idea what my role is.
She goes.
Well, you tell your boss thatthis is a great place to work.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
And I know you want to.
I was like you know what?
I'll spread the word.
Yeah, he's like, I'll tell you.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Yeah, so it was that confirmation walking into the
office that that transition wasthe right step.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
You know, and the best part of you is you allowed
yourself to help the person.
It was not in your mind is letme know.
Let me let her know I am theboss.
You didn't care about that.
It wasn't about telling her whothe boss was.
It was about meeting her needs.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
You know, and so that's why I love you so much,
because you're so humble andyou've always been that way,
ever since I met you.
And I remember when it wasannounced and I went to Adrian
and David and I said I'm goingto give him a moment because I
know it's probably a lot goingon.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, ok, there's a lot of noise.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yes, but I said I've got to reach out to him.
I got to reach out, so Iremember putting congratulations
on your page and whatever,whatever.
And I think I said on the thingabout coming on the podcast,
because I'm like I'm supportingmy friend and I want my friend

(15:18):
to come on the podcast so we canshow his new journey, because I
believe in him, that type thing, and so I thank you for coming.

Speaker 4 (15:26):
No, thank you for all that Most definitely.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
Most definitely, Because I believe in you and I
believe that if you believe insomebody and they make a
decision for their life, thenyou need to be a true supporter
and show your support.
So what would you tell somebodythat is in the same?
You know their mind, space isthe same.
What advice would you give themif they wanted to make that

(15:49):
move?

Speaker 4 (15:50):
Yeah, you know, being a great friend, you understand
this, I think, to have a circleof confidence, of mentors, of
supporters, of loved ones andbeing transparent, right, I mean
we can get attracted to jobsbecause it's a bigger title or

(16:12):
more money.
Those are almost always baddecision-making factors.
You know it's more about fitand where you are on your
journey.
People that will speak truthinto your life are incredibly
valuable and to be able to havethose conversations and being
honest with yourself.
The other part of that is and Ican speak to this because this

(16:35):
was a very scary transition forme Don't let fear dictate the
decision.
Yes, I'm not saying that fearisn't sometimes an indicator
that you should step away, butso, and fear, is that is real?
Yes, but a lot of times the fearis the narrative in your mind
that you're telling yourself.
Right, that you're tellingyourself oh, you're going to

(16:57):
lose this and you'll never berespected again.
You're not going to be the sameleader You're not going to have
those opportunities again, andthat's your lack of
self-confidence and, by the way,I'm not saying yours in the
world, I'm talking about me Like.
I was battling that exactinternal conversation, in fact.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
And I think it's harder for a man.
I'm not saying it's not hardfor women, but I think it's
harder for a man because y'allwear that crown of the king of
things of your family.
Right, you know that type ofthing and it's like how am I
going to make my family look?

Speaker 4 (17:33):
good, yes, yeah, and that's a.
You know how?

Speaker 3 (17:36):
many people are going to go to my wife and say what
is going on with me.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yeah, or talk to your kids at school yes, that type
of thing, yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
Or talk to your kids at school yes, that type of
thing, yeah, scary, and it'slike this is not my kid's
decision, this is not my wife'sdecision.
I'm just not fulfilled here,but it affects them, that type
thing.
So would you say, when you'remaking that move, I always tell
people pray about it and let Godlead you on things.
Fear when I get fear in myheart about anything.

(18:05):
I learned this when David gotsick.
I had so much fear because Ihad 12 doctors tell me daily he
was a dead man.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
That he was not going to make it, and imagine that
going in your mind.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Right.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Someone saying this and by the numbers he should be
dead.
Yeah, okay, but by the promiseof God and the miracle of God,
he's not a dead man and I wantyou to know.
The first thing that Matt askedme today y'all is how's your
husband?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
You know, so this happens to be out working hard,
so he's doing really well.
This is a real friendship.
This is not a top top surfacefriendship.
We care about our families andwe care about knowing about each
other and thank you for asking,but I know that you in your
mind was is if I do this, Ican't go back to that.

(18:55):
You know what I'm saying when Imake this move is it going to
be sustainable?

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Yeah.
I think it will be yeah, me too, thank you.
Two be yeah, me too.
Thank you Two things.
You asked the question whatwould I advise people To?
Be able to speak your fears outloud, expose those fears.
You know anything that's in thedark.
Isolation is a great place fornegative thoughts to thrive,

(19:22):
right, and so I'll never forgetsitting with my wife and saying
to her what will people think?

Speaker 3 (19:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
And as it came out of my mouth, I was like well,
that's a dumb thing to say.
Why are you making decisionsbased on what other people will
think?
And I could see it written allover her face.
She's looking at me like whatdid you just?

Speaker 3 (19:41):
say what did you just say?

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Why would we care what other people?

Speaker 3 (19:44):
think Exactly.

Speaker 4 (19:45):
And that's.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
But you have to pray off fear.
Yes, let me go back a minute,because I was saying one thing.
One thing I had to learn when Iwas in the hospital with David
is to pray off fear.
And so when I get fearful aboutsomething, I pray, I put my
hand on my chest and I'm likeGod, take the fear out of my
heart, re.
God, take the fear out of myheart, replace it with faith.
God, take the fear out of myheart.
I'll say it repeatedly until Istart feeling better.

(20:07):
Take the fear out of my heart,replace it with faith, and it's
helped me throughout the years.
But sometimes I think that wemake something so big in our
head.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
Like it's going to, just like when we make this
decision, everything's going tocollapse.
My wife actually has a I don'teven know if this is a real word
, but she says all the time thatI catastrophize and what I do
is, you know, the garbage truckdidn't pick up the trash and I'm
like, oh, the trash is going toback up and then we're going to
get rats and our house will getinfested.
And she's looking at me like,what are you doing?
And so I think everybody can beprone to that.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
That's why God made a husband and wife.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
That's right, because one of them has to say it's
going to be okay.
Yeah what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (20:50):
And then, you have to say, okay, it is going to be,
because David pulls wills me inand I will him in in areas that
he's weaker and I'm weaker, orwhatever, and I think that's
what makes the marriage a goodthing, that's right.
But knowing your wife, I cansee her speaking life in you.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
I can see her saying it's going to be okay, we're
going to make it, you know, buteverybody doesn't have that.
Yeah, so what would you say tothe person that say they're
single, say they're in amarriage that doesn't have that
support?
You did say it.
You said about the mentors yougot to have, and I know that

(21:33):
everybody thinks this is just asaying.
You say but surround yourselfwith like-minded people and
people that are going to truly,truly pour into you.

Speaker 4 (21:44):
Yeah, and it's a big deal when you have somebody you
believe in that's successful inlife.
I have a friend who's a CEO ata hospital down in Georgia and
he's talking into.
I'm really excited about thenext big thing you're going to
accomplish.
Like his mind was already on tothe next thing, and that builds
that confidence in yourselfwhen you're like what am I
afraid?

Speaker 3 (22:03):
of I'm telling you you're going to do great things.
Yeah, you're going to do greatthings and people are going to
get to see, I think, the YMCA ina different way, not saying the
old way was bad, but it needsto evolve.
And that's my next question.

Speaker 4 (22:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Is in leadership since you joined the YMCA.
What would you say?
Say how are y'all evolving?

Speaker 4 (22:27):
yeah, you know that's such a good question because
here's an organization that'sbeen in our community a long
time, a long time, over 100years.
One of our buildings 100 yearsold, right, and so we've been
around a while, which is a greatstatement on stability and
strength and community presence.
It also is hard to change anorganization that's been around

(22:49):
a long time.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
I have already found that, because a lot of people
don't like change.
No, no.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
I've already found that our team is doing such
incredible work.
The Y has such a fantastic team.
The board of directors is justpassionate followers and leaders
of the YMCA in our community,and so it's a great position to
launch from.
And, like you said, how do weevolve?
I think we are going to leanmore into some things that maybe

(23:20):
people don't traditionallythink of in the YMCA.
So, like for most people, theYMCA is, you know, gym and swim
right.
We got basketball courts and wegot pools right, and a lot of
people have learned to swim atthe YMCA.
A lot of people play pickupbasketball at the YMCA.
Fitness and health we're knownfor these things, but the

(23:41):
reality is we're also doing aton of work in child care, early
care and education gettingthose children when they're six
months old, a year old, andreally surrounding them with
strong academic supports andsafe and secure environment,
while mom may go off to work,that's right.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
But the other part it's very young.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
It does, and I think the other part of that that
really gets me excited.
And one of our board membersshared this phrase the other day
in a board meeting that Ireally liked, and it was about
social connectedness.
And in fact, dr Murthy, who wasa two-time US Surgeon General,
wrote this paper recently titledmy Parting Prescription to

(24:25):
America.
And in this, as the SurgeonGeneral, they're often hey, we
got to be careful of smoking, ofcancer, that's the Surgeon
General's job.
The Surgeon General in thiscase said one of the problems we
have is a lack of community andconnectedness.
And so when our board membersaid you know what the why is?
To me, it's a place for socialconnectedness.

(24:47):
Do we have a gym and do we doswimming?
Absolutely.
Do we do childcare?
Yes, but what we're reallyabout is creating a community
around those.
Yes, and it's this socialconnect, especially post COVID,
when we were all isolated.
Not to mention, we all carry itwas awful.
And not to mention, we allcarry it was awful.

(25:07):
And not to mention, we allcarry devices that we are all
prone to being on far too much.
I'm as guilty as anybody, butwhen I go work out at a YMCA
because I need to get my workoutin.
I can go to a treadmill in mybasement and do it in isolation.
But it's not like the YMCA,that's right when I can walk in
and see the front desk personthey're asking me about hey,
how's your day going?

(25:28):
It's pretty good, and I seeRalph on the treadmill.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Hey.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Ralph how's work today?

Speaker 4 (25:32):
It's going pretty good.
How about you?
And all of a sudden I'm havingconversation.

Speaker 3 (25:35):
There's a connection.

Speaker 4 (25:37):
That's right and so for me, I think that's what we
really be leaning into more.
We're going to continue toprovide all the services we
always have.
We're going to continue toprovide them with excellence,
really serve our families, ourchildren, our seniors, those
that are in need, but we'rereally going to amplify that
this is a place that you cancome to find your people and be

(25:58):
connected, whether you're goingto sling heavyweights in the
weight room or recently at oneof our ymcas, on a friday night
we had a board game night.
Bring your family.
We have all these board gamesput down your, your ipads, your
telephones, all that stuff isset aside.
You're just going to be withyour family, playing life or
scrabble or whatever it is backin the old days, the first time

(26:22):
we launched that, we had over 40people almost 50 people showed
up.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
There's a desire for social connectedness and a lot
of young people like certainthings from old school yes they
really do yes and that's one waythe board games is.
That's a connector yeah ittruly is a connector and I think
that and you can talk throughthings like while you're playing

(26:46):
a game about you know, the kidscan be together talking about
how school was and I think a lotof kids what they're going
through while they're playingthat game.
They can get another kidthrough what they're going
through.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
Absolutely, and that's where it gets deep, right
, as you kind of mentioned.
For me, this gets really deep.
It gets really personal, wherepeople you're tearing down the
barriers that we all create forourselves, right.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Correct.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
And our phones.
As much as they're greatresources, they also become
barriers to connection.
I mean, how many of us, myselfincluded, sit with your
significant other, your wife,your partner, whoever it is?

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Scrolling.

Speaker 4 (27:24):
Sc.
Sit with your significant other, your wife, your partner,
whoever it is Scrolling,scrolling.
You could be talking to them,scrolling and texting, and then
I don't know how many times Ithought I don't feel connected
to you right now.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Let's do something, and then I'm like last night.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
I was on my phone for two hours when I could have
been talking to her all night.
We at the Y really believe thatwe have a pathway to social
connectedness, not just withyour family, but with other
groups, similar and different.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
To get these, perspectives, brands and
strangers.

Speaker 4 (27:49):
That's right, and I feel like and this is me getting
a little bit on my soapbox, butI feel like that's also the
pathway to unifying our countryand our community is to get us
out of our I'm going to postthis response to their Facebook
message out of our I'm going topost this response to their
Facebook message.
Instead of that, I'm sittingdown playing risk at a YMCA.

(28:14):
We may disagree on some things,but you're going to find a lot
more things that you have incommon when you're forced to sit
down and have conversations.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
I'll tell you, I'm in leadership Knoxville this year
and we went to the Capitol fortwo days.
And we went to the Capitol fortwo days Monday and Tuesday and
the one thing I noticed therewas the Republicans, there was
the Democrats.
One thing I noticed they allsat in one room.
They all talked.

(28:39):
They may not have agreed oneverything, they may not agree
on everything, but they wereunified to talk through whatever
the bill.
If they were talking about abill, they're talking about a
new law.
Whatever they were talkingabout, they were still unified.

(29:00):
And I said if everybody couldsee this right now, of all the
things that we see in the media,okay, of the politics, if they
could only see what I got to seefirsthand of both parties still
working together, you know, andstill making decisions that
will affect us, I was like Ithink we would be more unified

(29:22):
to realize get your feelings outof it.
I mean, everything is not madeto debate, everything is not
made to argue about.
How about caring about oneanother and understanding?
It's okay to disagree yeah.
It's okay to disagree and it'sokay to have a bad day.
Think of some of the peoplethat come in the Y and you know

(29:45):
they're having a really hard day, like what you were saying.
That woman she's trying withher child, you know, trying to
figure it out.
You don't know what the burdenon her mind is.
That's right, but just for you,to the humility that you had to
help this woman.
And you know, not throw yourtitle, not throw who you are,

(30:08):
that type thing, but just sayingyou know what?
I'm a man, You're a woman.
You need help.
I'm going to help you with yourbags or your child or whatever,
and I hope your day's better.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
That's right, and I mean we all wrestle with stuff
right.
We do we do To have a littleempathy, and especially somebody
wrestling with a car what I didfor basically 12 years of my
life I was like, oh, I know thatfeeling Trying to get to a
meeting and you're trying towrestle to get your child to
daycare so you meet to thatmeeting on time.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
You know, I think that a lot of the things that we
go through, if we could justhumble ourselves enough to see
that there's privilege in a lotof things that we have, that
someone else, the next personaround the corner, may not have.
You know, I learned that whenwe went over a thing in

(31:05):
Leadership Knoxville last monthabout poverty.
Just that exercise humbled me.
Yeah, because I'm like in areasthat I never had thought about.
Right, you know that type thing,what it would be like if I was
getting off from work and myhusband went to jail five

(31:25):
minutes before I got off fromwork and I thought we were going
home to eat dinner.
That exercise put me in a placeof anxiety, yeah, and it
humbled me because I'm like youknow.
We pass judgment on a lot ofpeople but you have no clue what
their plans was supposed to be.
But it turned out a differentway.

(31:46):
So if we connect and help eachother, I think we'll make a
better world.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
And I think at the YMCA.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
You're going to get that.
Tell me this what is the if youcould pick?
I know there's probably manythings.
But over the time you were atthe YMCA, what is your takeaway?
What's the one thing that youcan say I mean not at the YMCA.
What is your takeaway?
What's the one thing that youcan say I mean not at the YMCA,
I'm sorry at the United Way.
What is the one thing that yousay I learned while I was at the
YMCA?

Speaker 4 (32:13):
Wow, geez, you know there were.
There's so many lessons 15years.
I grew so much.
Started in my first United WayI think I was gosh, I was in my
thirties and 15 years later.
Uh, but I you know one thingthat sticks out for me, that
that I think is along theselines, that we underestimate is

(32:33):
the power of relationship, youknow, and and especially we joke
about it.
In fact, my wife jokes all thetime that she doesn't like to
answer the phone, like she liketext me.
I don't want to talk, right,but when?
you're yeah, yeah, yeah, she'slike don't but it's.
She would agree that when we'rein relationship, that's where

(32:55):
the real opportunity developed,that's where the growth happens,
whether it's in yourprofessional career.
Yeah, and you have to answerthe phone sometimes, right?
I don't know how many times Iwas like this conversation would
be an easier email, it'll letme off the hook.
But there's a better outcome ifI go have coffee with this
person.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Let me tell you I had a conversation yesterday.
I'll tell you this short story.
We were talking about that andwe were saying that a lot of
things.
If you pick up the phone andyou address whatever it is,
you'll get a better outcome thanyou send in an email, because
it's easy to get at somebodythrough an email versus on the

(33:33):
phone.
I think it's calmer when you'reconnecting that type thing.
And so one of the people thatwas in this conversation said oh
my gosh, ivanka, I am so bad atthat.
When I just don't want to dealwith something, I just shoot off
an email.
Yep, you know that type thing.
And I said you need to dobetter with that, because you
could have stopped tension in asituation I mean in a situation,

(33:58):
but because you send it in anemail, you don't know how they
perceived it.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
That's right.
You don't know how somebodyperceived your email.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
So I agree with that, so tell me this in the short
time you've been back at theWaymes yeah, yeah, what's the
one thing that you can say isdifferent that you've you've
learned already about the newWaymes.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah, that you know.
To go back to that socialconnectedness, it's you know,
when we think about addictionyou think?
About depression you thinkabout.
You know, quite honestly, almost50% of our population is
considered obese.
When you think about ourself-worth and our self-value,

(34:40):
how we perceive ourselves andour self-value, how we perceive
ourselves.
I have been doing a lot ofreading, a lot of studying, and
that is so much in isolation,because that voice in our head

(35:01):
look, our brain is really goodat talking us out of the
positive thoughts and thepositive things.
That is a good point and I'm asguilty as anybody, and we are
overthinkers.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yes, we are over.
There are some that are worsethan others in overthinking, but
I think we all overthink thingsdepending on what the situation
is.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
And then we get all bogged down in our head.
Instead.
I'm one of these people.
People are like how do you doas much as you do?
I say because I try not tothink about it, I just I'm a
doer.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
If I think about it, it's a done deal.
I've stressed myself completelyout.
But if I go in and just do andjust knock off that list, it's
kind of like the list in yourhead but you don't write it down
.
Yeah.
It's kind of like the list inyour head, but you don't write
it down and you just do.
And that's how I get so muchdone, because if I stop and
think about it, matt In factit's funny.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
You say that.
I had this conversation with mydaughter.
She's a junior in high schoolhere in Knoxville and she had a
big assignment it was a paper orsomething and she's just
clearly overwhelmed by it.
And I just told her and thisisn't genius stuff I said the
best way to get that done is tostart it, just start it.
And the reality is we spent alot of our time thinking I

(36:12):
really need to get in shape, butI am so out of shape I wouldn't
even know where to start.
You know where you start.
You start at the start.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Yeah, and you start walking.
Yes, exactly, start walking.

Speaker 4 (36:27):
That's all all you know, and and once you do that
one thing, it starts buildingmomentum.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
In fact, there was a and it's gonna drive you it.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
there's a great speaker I've heard he I don't
know if he's still speaking aformer navy seal, uh, leader in
the military.
He, his advice to people waswake up in the morning and make
your bed and that was the key.
And some of the people werelike I don't understand, he goes
.
You start your day off with avictory.
You start your day off with anaccomplishment.

(36:53):
You started your day with alist and you check something off
your list.
That creates momentum.
It does no matter what it is ifyou can do a little thing.
You have now moved and once youyou're moving, it's easier to
stay moving like you said, youget busy.
Yes, you start work and all of asudden you're doing, you're
doing.
You look back and you're like,wow, I've just accomplished a
lot.
But if we stop and look at allthe stuff we have to do in the

(37:17):
world, oh my goodness, oh my godyeah we'll shut it down because
we're like I'll never get tothe top of that mountain.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
In fact, there's this .
I love this.
There's a Greek myth, greekmythology there's.
It's called the myth ofSisyphus.
Have you ever heard of this?
So the myth of Sisyphus is thestory of, of this man who sinned
against the gods and the godsdetermined to punish him for
eternity, and his punishment wasthat he was going to push a

(37:46):
boulder, a rock, up a mountain.
When it got to the top of themountain, it would roll back
down and he was to push it upagain.
Now the myth of Sisyphus thisguy's name is Sisyphus was that,
while it was intended to be apunishment for eternity, he
shifted it and said now I havepurpose and so my purpose is to

(38:06):
move the rock up, and it becamea grind and then a point of
pride, and this became hispurpose and his movement.
Now, I'm not saying we all wantto push rocks uphill, but to me
, that's become incrediblyinspirational.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah, and you got to work towards something and you
got got to figure it out.
And I'm one of these people.
When I do speaking engagements,I tell people and I'm not
saying, this is easy, I can turnany negative into a positive.
And people are like, no, youcan't.
I'm like, yeah, I can Tell youhow, because that's what I want

(38:42):
to do, because that's what Iwant to do, when you put in your
mind I don't care how bad it is, I got to find something
positive that's coming out of it.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
That had to be true with your husband.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Because when David got sick, that's when I learned
that okay, I wrote a book aboutit.
Positive Living is that whenyou put in your mind, no matter
how bad it sounds, because Godtold me.
He said it doesn't matter whatit looks like, it doesn't matter
what you hear or you see, ifyou focus on me, I'll give your

(39:17):
husband back.
He said and literally told methis in the very first week when
David got put on life support.
He said do you want yourhusband?
And I'm like God, please grantthis miracle.
And so he said well, get readyto work.
And I'm like but what do youmean Get?

Speaker 4 (39:34):
ready to work.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
I'm like God, I don't know what you mean.
I'm in a hospital.
How am I going to work?
So he made me go to every bed.
Imagine this there's 30 beds inCCU at Park West.
My husband was in bed seven IfDavid Watson, park West right
now people call him bed sevenbecause they remember that much.
Okay, so there was 29 beds thatI had to go.

(39:57):
He would make me go to everyroom and pray for somebody
else's situation.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
And I kept saying God , I'm going through enough.
God, why would you want me topray for people?
My mind is not there.
I'm like I'm going through myown thing.
But what God made me see wasevery day that I would do it.
I wouldn't think about mysituation Every day that I would
do it.
I would help somebody else toknow him.

(40:24):
It I would help somebody elseto know him.
Every day that I would do it,the doctors would tell me
something that medically lookedthis way, but God would show me
a different way.
Every day I would do it, hewould improve.

Speaker 4 (40:38):
Wow.
Discipline and faith yes, wow.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
Yeah.
So when I say I can turnanything into positive, my
daughter would say she's in thisroom, I can turn anything into
positive because I choose toturn it that way.
I don't choose to look at it ina negative way.
Let me ask you how hard was thatthough, tell you there were

(41:02):
days that I think one of thehardest days was.
I went downstairs to go eatbreakfast, came back up, a nurse
runs out and says to me hername is Miss Lisa.
She says Miss Botany needs youto come pray.
I said, oh, I'm ready.
By that time I had got used toit because before then I never

(41:24):
prayed out loud, matt, I wouldalways pray by myself.
I never prayed out loud becauseI was too scared.
I felt like when I would pray Iwould talk to God, like I'm
talking to you, and I thoughtthat if I prayed like that in
front of people, people wouldthink it was dumb.

Speaker 4 (41:39):
What are people going to think?

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yes, so I wouldn't pray like that.
But this lady literally tellsme that she wants me to come
pray.
So I'm like, okay, let's go.
So I get to the door and shesays, yvonne, I need to tell you
something.
And I was like what, miss Lisa?
She said he's dead and I saidwhat?
And she said she wants you topray over his dead body.

(42:02):
Man, I had never done that.
Wow, I had never done that, wow, I had never prayed for.
I'd never been in a roompraying for a stranger Right,
right, right spouse that's dead.
And he was yellow because ofjaundice.
His eyes was open.
Okay, because he died.
That way, god challenged me insuch a way that it was like I'm

(42:26):
going to take you to the darkestthing ever, but you're going to
find fulfillment in doing it.
So I said to Miss Claire toclose his eyes.
I said I can't.
I've never done this.
Please close his eyes.
Now, god does have jokes.
Let me just say that y'all theygo to close their eyes.

(42:48):
And she said Ivanka, you knowRick and Morty sits in, so we'll
try to close them, but we can'tguarantee that.
So they close them.
So where his joke was, one eyewas open, one eye was closed.
And Matt, I'm like sitting here, like God, you got jokes for
real.
So I put my hand.
Normally I put my hand onsomeone's head when I pray for
them or their heart.

(43:09):
I just didn't have the strengthto do that, so I put my hand on
the bottom on his legs.
God still had jokes.
While I'm trying to pray, hisbody jumped.
Matt.
While I'm praying, matt, peoplewonder why I'm the way I am.
God has taken me through a lot.
Okay, I love the Lord.

(43:31):
So I'm praying.
He's jerking.
I'm over here like, oh my God,you're like.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
I just healed him.
Yes and Miss.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
Bonnie is like so happy and she's crying and
jerking.
And I'm over here like oh myGod, what are you like?
I just healed him.
Yes, yes, yes.
And Miss Bonnie is like sohappy and she's crying and she's
so like oh my gosh.
I don't know if he's saved ornot, yvonne, but I know you
prayed him through.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
This is what this woman's saying to me.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
I know you prayed him through.
I know he's going to go toheaven now that you prayed and
I'm sitting there going oh myGod, is this really happening?
Wow, but what I learned bydoing that it doesn't matter
what you're going through, itdoesn't matter what it looks
like, what you hear or see,there's always somebody that has

(44:15):
a worse situation than you, andyou can bring joy to someone by
speaking a positive instead ofa negative thing and coming out
of yourself, and that's how youcan make sure you're not selfish
when you do for others.

Speaker 4 (44:33):
Yeah, you're preaching now.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
And that's how you make a difference.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Yeah, it's true, that's what I learned.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
So that's why I say with you, you had to move mad.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, it's true, that's what I learned.
So that's why I say with you.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
You had to move, matt .
Yeah, you wasn't fulfilled.
You wasn't fulfilled.
There's probably people goingto come to you and say I get it,
because I could tell Matt thatyour passion wasn't there
anymore.
They may not have came to youyet, but they probably will come
to you and say that to youbecause people see when people

(45:03):
it's in them.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
It's wild that you're saying this.
The most common thing I'veheard from people when I've
chatted with them since thetransition is you look really
happy right now.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
You do.
You really look happy and youlook free, like the load has
came off of you.
And so my next question to youis what is your passion in
nonprofit?
To serving people.

Speaker 4 (45:27):
Suit it sounds super hokey, right, somebody's gonna
be listening to us.
Oh geez, you know, buteverything you just said that
day walk in the woman's jugglingtoddler, I just help her with

(45:47):
the car seat.
I skipped into my office.
In fact wendy at our front deskwas looking at me like, oh,
let's just settle down, becauseI was coming in all on fire and
happy.
And you know, that is thiscircular experience, that when
you bless somebody, when youserve somebody, when you help

(46:07):
somebody, you feel that tooRight and as, as you feel more
of that, you want to give moreof it.
And that has this incrediblecommunity benefit.
And I've had this wonderfulcareer to be able to serve in
organizations where I get to dothat as my job.
And again I think about my dadwho worked in a factory, and how
hard that must have been 30, 35years working third shift in a

(46:31):
factory, that's hard work.
Nobody's coming up to you sayingyou changed my life today.
Thank you very much.
That's not happening and I getto experience that in a very
different way.
And so for me, I think mypassion for the nonprofit world
is in the mission statement ofwhatever organization, at the
YMCA in particular for me,serving people putting Christian

(46:51):
principles into practicethrough programs that serve all
To me.
The mission of the Y speaks tomy heart and my passion of
service, um, but also, I thinkfor me the why goes back to my
career camping and working withkids and child care, health and
fitness something I'm passionateabout your parents were a big

(47:12):
influence on you they were.
You know, it's funny.
I was having this conversationthe other day and somebody said,
hey, were your parents likereally philanthropic?
And I said no, we were probablyon the other end getting
philanthropy.
We weren't quite there, but wegrew up relatively, you know,
modest.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (47:32):
You know, like I said , dad worked in a factory.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
So we weren't living the high life, or?

Speaker 4 (47:36):
anything, but it did shape me an awful lot, In fact
one of my.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
It showed your work ethic, absolutely Without
question.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
My dad and my mom and in fact you know, and this is a
message I would give to yourmany listeners is you got family
or friends or mentors, butespecially your parents, that
pour into you like that.
Make sure they know it.
Yes, you know, and I think Givethem the flowers, tell them.
Yes, tell them what, adrian.

(48:04):
Let them know.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, exactly, let them, and she does, I have to
say that my son sent me a videothe other day and it was.
He saw it on something and itwas different.
People said thank you mom forthis, thank you mom for that,
thank you for this or whatever.
And so Jaden's message was Ican add even more of thank yous,

(48:31):
because what you've done in mylife and.
Matt.
I was like bawling, justbawling, and I'm like, oh my
gosh, because my son is 15 andhe's going, he's trying to find
his way and this year has been ahard year.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
It's a tough age.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Yeah, but it's like for him to say that and just
come in the house and I love youmom, I love you mom, and just
kept hugging me.
It just made me feel goodbecause it's like, okay, even
though he's going through a hardtime, he still sees the
positive.
Because I preach this to mykids If I'm positive, no matter

(49:08):
how negative it is, it's amessage in it or something in
there.
So now I've got to talk about anegative, the negative of
charity, the toxic toxicity ofcharity.
Yeah, and the reason why I wantto talk about it is because, um,

(49:28):
we can't sit and say everythingis golden no yeah yeah.
So what could you say?
Why is it so toxic?

Speaker 4 (49:38):
Yeah.
So you know it's about doing itright and that's hard.
Like we all I think we almosteverybody I've ever met is big
hearted.
They want to help people.
The hard part of that is how.
How do we help people?
And I think our first instinctis to give stuff to people.

(50:00):
Now, an act of kindness is notbad.
You buy a cup of coffee forsomebody.
Help somebody with Christmasgift you know there's steps.
Yes, those acts of kindness arenecessary to bring the world
closer together.
But I think also, a lot oftimes our charity starts really
becoming that meaning we're justgoing to give to you until

(50:20):
you're in a better situation.
And reality is the researchtells us, the work tells us, the
history tells us you don't givepeople out of poverty, right.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
That just doesn't happen.
It doesn't.

Speaker 4 (50:33):
The truth is, most people don't want that, but
they'll accept it.
And I say all the time peopledon't want that, but they'll
accept it.
And I say all the time you know, I, I, this is a joke.
It's true.
I was in college, got my firstapartment, turned on the tv and
I had cable.
I didn't sign up for cable, itwas just on.
So for my entire first semesterin that apartment I had free
cable and you loved it.
I loved it I had all thechannels right all the channels.

(50:55):
I watched it all and channels Ishouldn't have channels.
I did one went home forchristmas, came back, turned on
tv, cables off and you're like,oh yeah but I took it a step
further.
Right, somebody was gettingsomething for free.
I called the cable company andI literally said hey, uh, I just
gotta tell you my cable's off.
I was wondering if you need tosend out a technician or get

(51:17):
this fixed.
And they they said what's youraccount number?
And I literally said I don'thave an account.
But I had cable, yes, and Ineed to get that back.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Yes, and you're over like thinking it's okay just to
call the cable company and tellthem that how dare you take my
cable?
That's right.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
It created a sense of dependency or an expectation
and entitlement that I hadearned A victim mentality.
Yes, and you heard where I grewup.
My dad would have beenmortified for me saying I need
free cable.
But I got really used to it.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
That applies to everyone.
I was just about to say it.
I hate to say this, but this istrue.
There's not many people thatwould get free cable and pick up
the phone and say oh well, youknow what Cable's on my TV, but

(52:13):
I didn't pay you, so turn it off.
You know that's not going tohappen.
You're giving it to me.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
I want to keep it.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
And a lot of people will not admit that, but we all
would have taken the free cableAbsolutely.
You know, what I'm saying We'dbe like winner.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Winner winner chicken dinner.
You know, but the thing withthat is we grow.
We grow hopefully into knowing,okay, we shouldn't.
It was great what happened, butnow we need to pay for it.
But there's a lot of times thatpeople can get caught up in
getting.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
Yeah, that's the foundation of toxic charity,
right?
If you create a situation thatenables people to become
dependent on subsidies orentitled or expecting some type
of support, now your charity hasbecome toxic, it's actually
become part of the problem, andI think in America in particular

(53:12):
, we have gotten into that cyclewhere we create a lot of
charity that creates a lot ofdependency.
And therefore, you're going tohave this perpetual cycle of
poverty, because that is notgoing to uplift or encourage.
It really serves to tear downdignity of individuals and now
expect the system to take careof them, even though they

(53:34):
probably originally didn't startthat way.
It doesn't take long.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
When you get things free all your life, you, you
find a way to keep getting itfree.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
And I do agree with that.
I think the best thing you cando is I'm not saying because I'm
a giver.
You know, my grandfather toldme there's two types of people
in the world, there's givers andthere's takers.
And you got to figure out whichone you want to be.
But I will say, on giving, youhave to get to a point of.

(54:07):
You know, this was a steppingstone.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
But this is not supposed to be a forever thing.
A hand up right, yes, and a lotof people like to stay in a
victim state and I learned thatprobably about five, six years
ago.
I realized in certainsituations, being a victim will

(54:31):
bring you more attention thanbeing an overachiever or an
achiever.
Than being an overachiever oran achiever and a lot because
think about it, matt in theworld is that when you hear
something negative, okay onsocial media it'll have a

(54:54):
thousand likes, loves.
But if you see somebodygraduating from University of
Tennessee, to me that isphenomenal.
I didn't graduate fromUniversity of Tennessee.
To me that is phenomenal.
Right, I didn't graduate fromUniversity of Tennessee, so I
wish I would have.
But then look at it, you'll seepeople will like it, but it
will not get the attention.
That a negative thing and Italk about this on my social

(55:15):
media.
I'm like a lot of people don'trealize they're part of the
problem because we sit and say,oh well, you need to be positive
and you need to beda-da-da-da-da, but are you the
one that makes the negative posttrend more than the positive
post?

Speaker 4 (55:31):
Yeah, that's absolutely.
And what is that old sayingNewspapers used to say if it
bleeds, it leads, I think.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
And what they were saying is oh no, no.
You remember when they used tosay is all press is good press?

Speaker 4 (55:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
No.

Speaker 4 (55:45):
It's good for maybe the newspaper right or?

Speaker 3 (55:49):
maybe the yeah All press is not good press.
And so you have to realize thatI will help people, but I try
my best.
I pray to God that I will helppeople, but I try my best.
I pray to God that I willenable people.
I had a psychiatrist to tell mecut my checkbook off for 30
days and you'll get to seepeople in your life, people that
you think is really there foryou.
The day that you cut yourcheckbook off, I let her control

(56:10):
it for 30 days to prove it tomyself.
I'm like and one girl got madat me over a dog because I
wasn't giving her money for adog.
It just it's unbelievable howpeople get enabled.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
And they accept it, and you keep doing it and you
have to stop Right Because youbecome opportunity.

Speaker 4 (56:30):
Yes, you become part of that problem, you do you do
Now?

Speaker 3 (56:33):
I was part of that problem.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
I'll say Go ahead.
Acts of kindness are good.
It is Encouraging people,lifting people up, getting them
through a tough experience.
All that's positive.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
So I don't want any of your listeners to say we're
bashing all charity.
No, they already hear me say italready.
You have to give opportunity.

Speaker 4 (56:53):
Yes, that's it.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
But, you have to.
My favorite scripture in theBible is faith without works is
dead.
You got to have faith and yougot to do the work.
So it's no different, is that?
Okay, a charity can help you,but you've got to help yourself.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
That's it, that's it.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
You nailed it.
A charity can help.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
In life you really have to realize that you have to
help yourself along the way.
Realize that you have to helpyourself along the way, no
matter what charity has been sogreat to you know.
Help you out of a bind.
It's not their job to keep youout of the bind.
You have to realize that youhave to work every day to

(57:36):
improve and to make sure thatyou're doing your part of your
life.
The organization cannot be yourlast resort.
All the time you have to workto be better.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
Yeah, the myth of Sisyphus.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
right, you got to push the rock up the hill you
have to push the rock up thehill and you have to say, okay,
I'm here now, I don't want tocome back here, that's right,
that's right.
You know, I may not have myutilities on and this charity
helped me to get my utilities on, but it's my job to get up
every day to go to work, to makethe money to pay my utilities.
So I don't have to go back tothis charity or any other

(58:17):
charity to get my utilities on,because that's really not their
debt and I'm just using that foran example.
Okay, it's just.
You can't charities have tohelp so many different people.
So you have to realize if theyhelped you right now, let there
be room to help someone else.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
I think that's the biggest thing is is that people
get so selfish and entitled theydon't think about there's other
people that need help just likethem.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
Do you agree with that?
Absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 3 (58:50):
So what would you tell the next person you know in
the transition of doing charitywork If somebody says you know
what, I want to go and do adifferent type of charity work,
but they just don't know what?

Speaker 4 (59:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:12):
On that purpose thing .

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:13):
What would you say?
What is the blueprint?
Yeah, that's really actually itis a hard class.

Speaker 4 (59:22):
I'm just gonna say, but you know it goes back to we
all have.
There's a passion in our heart.
You know some people like I.
I knew this woman who ran adomestic violence shelter.
I got to know her really well.
She was so dedicated to thewomen in the shelter and we went
out to lunch and I was having aconversation with her and she

(59:43):
said you know, I was a victim ofdomestic violence.
And I said I didn't know that,I'm sorry and she goes.
I have taken that experienceand made it my passion to help
other women that are in thesituation that I used to be in,
and I thought that is anincredible way, as you described
, and you do this really well.
Taking a negative and turning itinto a positive, because we

(01:00:07):
know people that have trauma intheir lives a lot of time that
turns them in the otherdirection, and for her in
particular to move that in apositive direction.
So I would just say to anybodyreally pay attention to what
fills your bucket, right?
What is getting you out of bed?
When you see an article you'relike I want to read this, or
something that just gets yousupercharged.

(01:00:27):
Pay attention to that it doesn'tmean that you have to work
exactly in that, but if you canstay in that space, especially
in the nonprofit world, becausethe nonprofit world is not a
nine to five job in thenonprofit world, because the
nonprofit world is not a nine tofive job, never will be.
It's a.
I wake up, I'm thinking aboutit, I go to bed thinking about
it in the middle of the night.

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
When I wake up, I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:44):
There's always somebody that needs to be helped
Absolutely, and so it should besomething that really fills
your bucket, that gives youenergy and that's how you
discover your purpose.
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
That's you.
You have to work and you haveto experience things and along
the way you discover what yourpurpose is Right and that can
evolve, and that can evolve.
Oh, yes, it can.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
You got to listen to it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
So how do you prioritize health wellness while
leading an organization?

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
You know it's easier now that I have a locker room
across the hall from my officeand a gym upstairs.
I'm really passionate aboutthat.
I'm a big runner, but you knowthat's one of those hard things.
But if I want to be at my best,at whatever being a parent,
being a husband, being anemployee I've got to start with

(01:01:38):
self-care.
Right.
And that old saying about youknow the plane's going down and
it always tells you to put yourmask on first.

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
Because you can't help somebody else if you're
suffering from the symptoms ofwhatever's going on.
And so it's really hard,because I think what a lot of
people do is they want to avoidthe trauma, the mental health
challenges, the negativeexperience, whatever it is, and
we just plow forward.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
I am a living testament That'll catch up
Sooner or later.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
It will.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
It catches up, it's better to say, okay, what do I
do to make myself healthy?
And for me, running, health andfitness, longevity are all a
part of my walk.
Longevity are all a part of mywalk.
You know I love to experimentwith, with healthy initiatives
that benefit me and my family.
For somebody else it might bereading and learning, and you

(01:02:26):
know, whatever it is in yourlife and we intuitively know it
like.
More often than not we can sayI shouldn't drink that much diet
coke, I'm not judging you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
I'm in your camp.
I love that.
I love diet coke.
Trying to be better, right, oryou know somebody that says I
had to drink that much Diet Coke.
I'm not judging you, I'm inyour camp.

Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
I love Diet Coke too.
I've been trying to be better,right or somebody that says I
had to quit smoking or I got toget to bed earlier and get
better night's sleep.
We all know intuitively thosethings.
The hard part is to say youknow what.
I'm putting the phone downtonight.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
I'm going to bed at 9.30.
And I'm going to make myselfthat's going to be your vodka
tonight.
Yeah, and I'm going to makemyself that's going to be Ivanka
tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
Yeah, I don't have a problem with that one, but and I
think that's it is that we justgot to prioritize now.
It doesn't mean we putourselves above other people
right it just means we put themask on first.

Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
but if you think about it in the order of what
God said, god said it's him,then yourself, and I think the
reason why I think that God didthat is to say when you're full
and you're confident in you, youcan do so much more for other

(01:03:29):
people, but when you have lowself-esteem you have no power of
anything of you.
I think you can do less forpeople.

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
It's compounding interest right, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Yeah, it's multiples Yep.
So the YMCA.

Speaker 4 (01:03:48):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
What is your movement ?

Speaker 4 (01:03:52):
Our movement, you know social connectedness,
support of families, health andwellness.
You know I have a dream ofchanging.
This is my big dream.
We have zip codes in Knoxvillewhere the life expectancy is 10
years less than another zip codein Knoxville.
Really, yes, and you know whatcontributes to that.

(01:04:14):
It's complex, right, lots ofthings Healthy choices for food,
food, health and wellnessopportunities, academic supports
, family connectedness all ofthat is played I.
You know.
If I were to point to one thing, what is our ymca movement is,
we are going to change the lifeexpectancy of the people
knoxville.
I really want to see peopleliving.

(01:04:36):
say it again I want to changeand amplify the life expectancy
of the people in Knoxville, andnot just the life expectancy but
the type of life we live duringthat life, so that it's not the
last 10 years of my life.
I can't get up, I can't bendover, I can't walk very well.
I want people to be in their80s and 90s and out walking the

(01:04:56):
neighborhood spending timelifting up their grandchildren
People are living longer andthriving.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
You know, I see 70, 80-year-olds moving better than
me.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
That's true.
I see them at the Y every day.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
Okay, so let's be clear.
So I think that if you put thattime in your health and
wellness and being in yourcommunity and engaging with
people, I think that that's whathelps you to live longer.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
I agree, I agree it's all part of the puzzle.

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
So my last question.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:31):
What, outside of YMCA ?
What fulfills Matt Ryerson themost?

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
what fulfills Matt Ryerson the most?
Two things jump out at me.
I love watching my wife in herelement, and that can be
anything but for her.
Right now, when I see herconnecting with people playing a
hostess, it just I just getlifted up.

(01:06:00):
The second thing, that is, Idon't doubt that and he should
be very proud.
The second part of that and Iknow you know this as well is
when your kids succeed.
There is nothing greater.
There's no greater heartbreak.
When your kids struggle Nowthat's a part of life.

Speaker 3 (01:06:16):
Yeah, but when they succeed.

Speaker 4 (01:06:18):
It is the greatest thing, and I have such great
children right now, and all ofthem, at some level, are
succeeding, and so that's whatreally brings me joy.

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Adrienne does a lot of great things, but I'll tell
you something recently thatAdrienne did that stuck out so
far to me.
She just accepted a seat on theboard of CASA.
Oh wow, that's a greatnonprofit.
I said, and when the ask camefor her to go on that board, I

(01:06:52):
tried my best to not say go, go,go, go, go go.
But it was like when she talkedto me I tried to stay you know,
but when they announced ityesterday, I sat down at the
Capitol and everything that wasgoing on.
The moment that I saw that Iwas like yes and it was not a

(01:07:15):
pat on my back, it was thatshe's succeeding in her own way.
And I mean to go in nonprofitand sit on a board and you know
you're going to make adifference.
That's bonkers to me, yeahespecially in nonprofit.
Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
Protecting vulnerable kids.

Speaker 3 (01:07:36):
Yes, and so I get what you're saying about when
you see your kids succeed.

Speaker 4 (01:07:43):
Nothing better.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
Nothing better?
Yeah Well, you can come backanytime.

Speaker 4 (01:07:48):
I would love it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
This is always fun, I want y'all to know that Matt
Ryerson will be back.
The door is always open.
If y'all have a mission orsomething that you want to get
out there, I want y'all to knowMatt Ryerson can always come to
the roundtable Tune in everyFriday to Talkin' Tennessee with
Yvonca.

(01:08:09):
Bye, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Thanks for listening to Talkin' Tennessee with Yvonca
.
Watch out for our weeklyepisodes from the First Family
of Real Estate and check us outon the web
wwwyvoncasalesrealestatecom.
See our videos on Yvonca'sYouTube channel or find us on
Facebook under.
Yvonca Landis and Twitter atYvonca Landis.

(01:08:35):
And don't forget to tell afriend about us.
Until next time.
Yvonca signing off.