TechOnion Radio (TOR)

When ChatGPT experiences even the briefest hiccup—a mere thirty-second delay in generating yet another mediocre haiku about productivity—the internet transforms into a digital Pompeii of despair. X becomes a wasteland of “Is ChatGPT down for everyone or just me?” posts, LinkedIn fills with thought leaders pontificating about “AI dependency,” and Reddit threads multiply like digital rabbits discussing backup AI solutions with the ur...

In what military historians are calling “the most passive-aggressive conflict since the invention of office politics,” the decades-long rivalry between Microsoft Windows and Apple’s macOS has finally escalated into full-scale digital warfare, complete with propaganda campaigns, defector scandals, and one particularly devastating ninja attack that nobody saw coming.

To be, or not to be—that is the question that has plagued computing ...

In the grand theater of American power, where political ambition meets algorithm and an orange ego collides with encryption, we witness the most spectacular falling-out since Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak disagreed about garage ventilation. The Trump-Musk inevitable divorce proceedings have begun, and the tech world is scrambling to pick sides like middle schoolers during a cafeteria food fight—except the stakes involve nuclear code...

The modern pharmaceutical entrepreneur faces unprecedented challenges in today's digital marketplace. Gone are the days when a simple Nokia 3310 and a network of reliable associates sufficed for conducting business. Today's discerning professional requires sophisticated communication infrastructure that balances security, user experience, and what I like to call "operational discretion."

After eighteen months of ri...

The internet was supposed to be different. Back in the 1995, when dial-up modems sang their mechanical hymns and “You’ve Got Mail” was still a source of genuine excitement rather than existential dread, the web promised to be humanity’s great equalizer. Information would be free, knowledge would flow like fine digital wine, and we would all become enlightened beings connected across the vast expanse of the internet.

Instead, we got ...

It was a truth universally acknowledged that Nigeria, a nation possessed of considerable technological prowess, must be in want of applying said prowess to the preservation of human life. Yet as the flash floodwaters rose across the country recently, claiming 200 lives and leaving 500 missing, one could not help but observe a most peculiar phenomenon: a digital economy that had mastered the art of cryptocurrency transactions and fi...

In a world where artificial intelligence threatens to turn half the human workforce into digital dinosaurs faster than you can say “prompt engineering,” Singapore has done something so sensible it borders on the surreal: they’ve decided to actually prepare their citizens for the future instead of arguing about whether ChatGPT has feelings.

The city-state’s new public education initiative offers displaced workers a completely free se...

In what tech historians are calling the greatest missed opportunity in Silicon Valley venture capital history, newly discovered documents from the Napoleonic Archives reveal that the French emperor’s catastrophic 1812 Russian campaign could have been transformed into the world’s first successful military unicorn startup—if only he’d had access to today’s consumer-grade technology. The findings, compiled by the Institute for Retroac...

It was the best of times for Apple shareholders, it was the worst of times for anyone who thought they understood how capitalism was supposed to work. In the gleaming towers of Cupertino, where executives in $700 hoodies contemplate the profound mysteries of profit margin optimization, a solution to the US-engineered tariff crisis emerged that was so audaciously cynical it could only have been conceived by minds unencumbered by sha...

In the gleaming conference rooms of Silicon Valley, where venture capitalists gather like digital evangelists clutching their kombucha and quarterly projections, a curious form of doublethink has taken hold. Artificial Intelligence, they proclaim with the fervor of true believers, is simultaneously the solution to every human problem and a technology so nascent that any criticism of its current limitations constitutes heresy agains...

In a stunning victory for analog technology, the humble blue book has emerged as education’s unlikely savior against the AI apocalypse

The year is 2025, and America’s educational institutions have officially surrendered to their new silicon AI overlords. In a move that would make Don Draper weep with nostalgic pride, schools across the US (and sooner everywhere else around the world) are dusting off their blue books—those sacred, li...

The Rise of the Algorithmic Aristocracy

In the grand tradition of Silicon Valley’s most spectacular implosions, Builder AI emerged from the primordial soup of venture capital with all the fanfare of a digital messiah. Founded on the revolutionary premise that artificial intelligence could be democratized—packaged, productized, and delivered to the masses like a particularly sophisticated Italian pizza—the company promised to transfo...

In the grand tradition of Sherlock Holmes examining a crime scene, one must approach the curious case of Elon Musk with methodical precision. The evidence, scattered across the digital landscape like breadcrumbs leading to an inevitable conclusion, presents a fascinating study in the collision between visionary ambition and the stubborn reality of terrestrial limitations.

Consider, if you will, the peculiar sequence of events th...

In what historians will surely record as the fastest technological glow-up since the atom went from “interesting physics concept” to “city eraser,” drones have completed their remarkable journey from “annoying toy your nephew crashes into your forehead during family gatherings” to “preferred method of remote assassination for militaries worldwide.” It’s the heartwarming tale of a plucky little gadget that dreamed big and achieved i...

In a world where technological progress supposedly makes our lives easier, the humble USB cable stands as humanity's greatest monument to deliberate confusion. What began in 1995 as a simple idea to standardize connections has evolved into a sprawling, incomprehensible ecosystem that leaves even veteran engineers weeping in the cable aisle at any decent electronics shop still operating physically. Welcome to the USB Standards Thund...

In the digital attention economy, content isn’t just dethroned—it’s been publicly executed, with its head on a pike outside the castle walls as a warning to others. While American tech companies were busy following Bill Gates‘ 1996 playbook that “Content is King,” China quietly engineered the most devastating psychological weapon since the invention of the television: algorithmic attention capture so advanced it makes cocaine look ...

In a shocking revelation that Tesla has vigorously denied with the corporate equivalent of “I did not have textual relations with that executive search firm,” the Wall Street Journal reported last week that Tesla’s board began contacting headhunters to find someone – anyone – who could replace Elon Musk as CEO while the billionaire was busy slashing government jobs faster than Twitter’s (now X) workforce circa 2022. This developmen...

In a dazzling display of corporate bravado that could only be described as “Steve Jobs, but make it confusing,” Google held its annual Google I/O 2025 conference yesterday, unveiling a smorgasbord of AI products that promise to revolutionize how quickly you can deplete your business bank account while simultaneously increasing your tech-induced existential dread. The event, which appeared to have been planned approximately 45 minut...