Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) - Yearning, Weapons & a Very Angry Girl - That Aged Well

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I feel like we have to talk about what happened
last night.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yes, okay, yeah, I think that's fair.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Okay, I'm staying over at Paul's. So we went to
see a show, excellent Broadway musical, Smash Smash. We were
taking a car home. Yeah, we were having a conversation,
so we weren't quite paying attention to what our lift
driver was listening to.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
We had just passed the really funny billboard on the
West Side Highway with the guy who's in the golf.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
It's my favorite billboard in the city. It's the golfer
with the ill fitting pants. Yeah, the one hundred thousand
dollars billboard of a man's flat ass in ill fitting khakis.
That is humiliation.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
The East Coast content content on this podcast has never
been so East so coast and so content. It's so specific. Okay,
but you're telling the story. We're in the car.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
So we're in the car and we get kind of
quiet for a second. We're, you know, admiring the general
splendor of Manhattan.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Night, and we both tuned in at the same time
to the raid.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, which I to be fair, you clopped with a
radio program right away. I thought he was listening to
like a self help tape, oh even worse, which made
it work. I was like, what, oh, no, are we
getting kidnapped? Are we getting okay? So here this woman's
very sweet dulcet voice being like, you just have to
be there for the baby. The baby will need your

(01:22):
help and your protection. It might be born with the
same addictions and issues that the mother has, but you
have to protect it at all costs. And then the
and then she kept going on about like how the mother, Yeah,
the mother will be if you send her to rehab,
she can get her life cleaned back up. You can
be there for her too.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
It did circle around to being like generally okay, but
I think we just both turned it tuned into the
moment of the host being like, you must protect the
children from the mother, and we were like, what's happening?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
But after the answer ended, I cannot tell you enough.
Listener Backdoor Broncos Stage drug Sally's absolutely no leading. We
just got show me the meaning of being and lonely?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Who is programming the show?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, what's happening?

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Who decided that's the song we're gonna play? After that question?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I hope the writer. I hope the advice seeker was like,
I had a song request at the end, and also
I would like to hear Backstreet.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Boys show me the meaning of being lonely. Hey, I'm Paul,
and this is that aged.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well yesterday's pop culture today.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I haven't done that in a while.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
I know you tripped me up again.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was it was the last minute decision. I saw
you kind of focused, and I was like, I bet
I can knock her off her perch.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
You're the chaos Stephen.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Today today I have the chaos stem and energy. Absolutely,
it's June Erica. We're doing period pieces, all of June.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
We are not staying in the present because the present
is rough.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
The present is rough. Let's go back to the past.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Let's go back to everything was perfect.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Let's go back to beautiful gowns and fighting for everything exactly.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Just trying to get a leg up on a wait. Nope, nope,
we're back. We're back to the present, back back to
the past, back to.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I mean literal fighting.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
We have five star Apple podcast reviews. Do you want
to read the first one? Sure?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
First review comes from Mike TV or TV Mike.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
TV, Mike TV from Willy Wonka.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Probably. Yeah, they write l O L for real. I
wish I could give y'all six stars me too, no notes.
You're brilliant and hilarious and you make me l O
L for real. I want you to errate my life.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
We can do that. We can We can do like
a commentary track, Yes, send us a video, Send us.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
A snippet, send us like a little like video for
us to p ten. We're at in Boroughs, just narrating
for you anyway, Mike continues, Please do Party Girl or
Doom Generation or any Parker posy movie. I love Party Girl.
We should do Party Girl. It's wackadoo. They finish out
with love you xo xo xo Lah.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Is it possible that the only Parker posy movie we've
done is You've Got Mail?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
It is possible.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's wild.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
That is wild, considering like She's she was huge in
the nineties. Yeah, even like the small park Parker posy
movies like Dazed and Confused, we gotta get on it.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, we're dropping the ball. We're dropping the Parker posy ball,
and that's on us.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, that's on us. Yeah, waiting for guff.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Min Oh yeahol room okay. We also have a review
from x d c rz y x d crazy extra
dick crazy, like Ariel when after she saw Eric she
was extra dick crazy. That's right, all right, they right
gabba ghoul. I love this podcast. I discovered it through
a date with date Line. I've abandoned all of my

(04:58):
other shows. Their banter is hilarious and best of all,
no wire hangers. May I suggest airplane and look who's
talking to? Not look who's talking? One? Crucially, look who's
talking two?

Speaker 1 (05:12):
That's right. I'm trying to remember the difference, the crucial
difference between them.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
The baby must get older, right, I think that.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Dog into Look who's talking? Oh, I think that's the
one where there's a baby and a dun.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Talk about a zig when I expected a zag. I mean,
well done. Look who's talking to? That's Amy Sherman Palladino,
isn't it?

Speaker 1 (05:27):
I don't know, is it?

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I feel like that looking at it, I hang on,
look that up, because I may I may be lying
to the masses, spreading disinformation, and that's not what we
do here.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
It's a little what we do here for fun. Amy
Heckerling directed it.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Amy Heckerling. Maybe that's what I'm thinking about.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Also written by Amy Heckerling.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
So yeah, I had an Amy on the brain, the
other Amy gotcha, gotcha? All right? XD Crazy goes on
that toilet scene messed me up as a kid. I
guess that's a look who's talking to reference? Do you
know that?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I don't. I don't know if I've seen that one.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, yeah, ps. Not sure what my user name will be.
Apparently I'm an old lady who can't figure out how
to change it.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, now you know, I love that they wrote Gabba Gool.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Gobba gool. We haven't had a good gobbagoul movie in
a while.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
We haven't had a gobbagool in a minute. I feel
like this is a person who's just getting to our
back catalog and dis discovered our Sopranos episode.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, yeaheah yeah, absolutely, XD Crazy, Mike TV. If you
would look at that age ol tope bag, please just
let me know. I will happily send that off for you. Erica,
what is the film that we are talking about today?

Speaker 1 (06:28):
You haven't seen You can't see Faul's hand gestures, but
he's doing he's doing some moves.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
He's doing some I'm either voguing.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, it's either voguing or martial arts. Of those one
of those us. There's such a thin line between them.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah, tell me the difference.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Honestly, like, drag queens could probably be amazing martial artists
with the amount of voguing they do.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
A drag queen martial arts film.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh my god, I would watch the ever loving shit
out of it.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
You remember how good a nitro was? Okay, Oh my.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Gosh, Okay, Okay, today's film is the two thousand. I'm
going to mispronounce this word, and I apologize to our
Chinese listeners. Wusha Martial Arts film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yes, this was requested by Joanna Kelly and the Orange
County Modern Quilt Guild. Love love them, love them all,
Love them all, quilt quilt quilt away, ladies, gentlemen, and
all non binary members of the Orange County Modern Quilt Guild.
I would genuinely love to know what makes a quilt modern?
Oh fair enough, I want to know why that's the

(07:28):
appellation what?

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, I hadn't thought about it, but I bet modern
quilt just just like maybe muted colors, very mid century modern.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Okay, something that you could see in Don Draper's apartment first.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
All right, So Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was written by Again,
apologies if I murder any of these, you know what, that's.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
A blanket for the rest of the episode.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, we're not gonna apologize every.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Time, because it's what's gonna happen so often.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yep. It was written by Wang Hueeling, James Seamus, and
Sai Ku Jung, based on the nineteen forties serialized novel
of the same name by Wang Doulu. It was directed
by Aglee and stars Michelle Yoh, Chaw Yon Fat Xiangxi
Chang Chen, and my personal favorite who I didn't even
write on here, Paypei Chang.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Oh. Yeah, yeah, she's amazing, by the way, real quick.
When we were like when we put the call out
for period pieces, we were very specific, like think outside
the box. It doesn't have to be white people sitting
in a country estate somewhere A lord knows. I do
enjoy that.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
No shots fired at those movies.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
No shots fired at the Austin universe. I want to
think everyone who reached out with non English language period pieces,
we got this. We got House of Flying Daggers. We
got Bella Pawk, So we had some really good options here,
so thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
And we wanted to make sure we got at least
one because obviously period piece can lead to a very
snowy white month. Yes, and we wanted to get something
that was at least still a little bit so for sure,
thank you to all of you.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was nominated ten Academy Awards, including
Best Picture, which it lost to Gladiator.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
And that's not correct.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
I'm not I'm not enjoying that. I'm not enjoying that
statistic and Best Director, which Lee lost. Anglee lost to
Steven Soderberg for Traffic. Look, I love Steven Soderberg. I'm
a ride or die for Steven Soderberg. That's not the
film I would have given Steven Soderberg an oscar for.
And this is the film I would have given Anglee
the oscar for. Anglee did win later for Broke Back Mountain. Yeah,

(09:29):
it's a correction, fine, but I just want to point
out all these people are being given awards for the
wrong movies.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
This is what happens when we don't award people for
the right movies.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Just award them for the right movie the first time. Yeah,
it won four Oscars, though however it won Best Foreign
Language Film, Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Original Score.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Correct all correct, correct, the score is. I didn't remember
how good the score was. In that first fight between
Michelle Yoh and Ji Jang that drums, yeah, oh god.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah. In the art direction, I had moments where I
was like pausing the film just to like admire the
fucking cave that we're in and how gorgeous it looks.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Allegedly, the first draft of the screenplay for Crouching Tiger,
Hind and Dragons stated, you will note in the script
that none of the fight scenes are described, and I
will just inform you now that they will be the
greatest fight scenes ever in the history of cinema period.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
That's, my friends, is what we call chutzpah. Yeah, and
we appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
And I gotta say, no lies detected. I'm not a connoisseur,
so perhaps it has since been surpassed, but this is
these are the best fight scenes I can ever remember.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
It's funny because it came out right around the same
time as The Matrix, and so I had very similar
like sensibilities, but this one has like a I mean
this in a good way, like a slowness and a
poetry to the motions, whereas I think Matrix was more
like fast and kinetic. What an excellent era for martial
arts films.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, and I think that the fights in this one
tell stories. The fights in this one have like you know,
in the Matrix, there's the overarching story, but lots of
times they're just they're fighting automatons, right, or they're fighting
like robots, they're fighting the demand. Yeah, these are like
people who have personal beef with each other.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
And one very angry girl, one avatar of rage, one
teenage girl who woke up with five wolves.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
She has so many wolves, and she got.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
So many wolves. She is all wolf. She is both
Crouching Tiger and hidden Dress. She sure is crouching Tiger.
Hidden Dragon has a ninety eight percent critical rating on
Rotten Tomatoes and an eighty six percent audience score. It
has an eighty seven critical rating on Cherry Picks All
three or two low, all three or two long three
ninety eight is too low fucking one hundred percent? What

(11:44):
are you complaining about?

Speaker 2 (11:45):
What is what is the issue?

Speaker 1 (11:46):
What is the issue?

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Because look, I will I'm not going to defend the
audience score, but I will explain the audience score away
by people writing it because they had read subtitles. You
are a movie critic. You do not have that option.
You're supposed to be the assholes who love reading subtitles.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
I mean, okay, look, if I had to reach maybe
by our standards today, the movie is a little like
on the slower side. But in two thousand, I don't
think I don't think it was. I think maybe there
was like an expectations Jackie Chan brought to like Western
audiences like fast, super fucking fast, and like super athletic,
And this movie is athletic, but not in like a

(12:23):
Jackie Chan level.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah, well you also, like I think also what you're
referring to is there Angley is not afraid of a
silent scene with two people staring each other across the
table longingly.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oh my god, he certainly is not.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
You will lean into those scenes.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Honestly, his whole career is those scenes, and and sensibility
broke back out in this movie. He's he's just like
that moment of longing is like in all of those
movies he Loves a YEARN Loves a YEARN.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yep. I am shocked by the drop off for Cherry Picks.
If anything, I expected it to be one hundred percent
on Cherry Picks, because if you're talking about the most
interesting characters in this movie, I would say the top
three are women and then Chilion fat Is Forth. He's
wonderful in the role. The role literally has less of
an arc. Yeah, he kind of arrives in the first

(13:07):
scene pretty sure of what he wants and goes after it.
There's no lessons.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
I would say low is the most interesting male in
the Yeah, like, he's fucking interesting.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, Yeah, all right, Erica, when did you first see
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?

Speaker 1 (13:22):
I saw it in the theaters. Okay, I love this
movie from the jump. I've seen it a bunch. Yeah,
I haven't seen it in a few years, I don't think,
but I watched it again yesterday for like the probably
tenth time.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Okay, it's so good. It's so good.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Spoiler for the rest of this episode, it's just gonna
be us praising this movie a whole ass lot. Yeah,
how about you, Paul, When did you first see Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
I also saw this in theaters. This was such a moment,
like if we were in theater school. Everyone we went
to theater school went and saw this in the theaters.
It was a thing. I've seen it probably I'm going
to say, two or three more times before this week
since then not in a while, Like you know, it
had its moment. I watched it multiple times, I think
going into it this time, I remember like the arc
of the story, like the overall arc, and I was

(14:03):
expecting it to be I don't mean this in a
pejority of sense at all, but kind of a simple story,
like I remembered it being kind of like a my
hero's journey, a hero's journey. Yeah, and like it's more
about the fight scenes and the beautiful cinematography and the score,
like like that's what I was expecting. But no, this
shit goes pretty deep, y'all. And it like there are
little plot points that like you get one line. If
you miss that line of dialogue, you spend like twenty

(14:23):
minutes going wait, what wait? Wait? How do we get here? Wait?

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Who's that?

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Who is that? What's happening? Erica the tagline for Crouching
Tigerhead and Dragon is a timeless story of strength, secrets
and two warriors who would never surrender.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Okay, sure, yeah, I'm happy with that.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
Do we feel like it's three warriors or would never surrender?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
One warrior who will absolutely who will fucking never surrender,
and two people who really need to kiss already yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Two people who absolutely need to get it on.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Just get it on, you idiots.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
This is on you. Now, this is so on you.
Other people are telling you it's on you.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Old men are like, get it girl?

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Shall I read the iTunes synopsis? Sure? Okay? Named Best
Picture of the Year by over one hundred critics. Nathan
Nathan Wide.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
All Nathan All Nathan's agree, can agree, gre This movie
is pretty fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Named Best Picture of the Year by over one hundred
critics nationwide. Two master warriors Choo Jung Fat and Michelle
Yo are faced with their greatest challenge when the treasured
green Sword of Destiny Nope is stolen. That is just
It's just called green Destiny about eighty thousand times. In
the movie. A young aristocrat Jiangxi prepares for an arranged marriage,

(15:41):
but soon reveals her superior fighting talents and her deeply
romantic past. As each warrior battles for justice, they come
face to face with their worst enemy, the inescapable, enduring
power of love. I don't think that makes sense, but.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Sure, you know what though, Yes, I'm okay with that. Yes, yeah,
because that's what all three of these people are actually
running away from. The movie.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Okay, fair enough, you got me on board, You got
me on board. Set against nineteenth century China's breathtaking landscape,
Crouching Tiger, Hen and Dragon is the action packed box
office smash from acclaimed director Ang Lee, featuring stunning martial
arts choreography by Yuen Wo Ping.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Actual synopsis. Yes, more broken furniture than a hotel suite
after Motley Cruz left.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
You do not let these people loosen in IKEA.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Oh my god, Will someone think of the furniture makers
in seventeenth century China.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
They didn't have assembly lines and machines. This is hand
crafted shit.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
This is hand crafted shit that you all are just
breaking every willy nilly. There is not a scene where
a piece of furniture is not broken in this movie.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Speak up for the true victims of this movie.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
The furniture, thereat the Great Table Disaster of seventeen hundred,
or whenever this movie takes place.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Exactly. All right, everyone stick around. We're gonna pop in
a couple of commercials here. If you hate commercials, I understand,
I'm not a fan of them either. You can head
on over to patreon dot com slash that age Wel podcast,
sign up for any paid tier cast ten cents a
day at our feet, and you will get ad free
episodes delivered to your feed every Monday morning. If you

(17:16):
don't want to do that, that is okay too. We
will be here for you after this commercial break to
take you through Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
I would just like to say counterpoint. I love commercials,
and if certain brands, for example, wanted to wanted to
sponsor our show, I'd be.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Thrilled, be thrilled.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
We'd be all commercial. Do you understand me? Delta Airlines
for free airfare, I will, That's all I'll talk about.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
You will hoore yourself, wore.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Myself out to the to the environmental disaster that is
the airline industry. I will do it. Don't tempt me, Sephora,
I'm coming for you next and we're back.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
We open in China during the Qing dynasty. Angli has
said he wanted to present a China of the imagination,
so no specific years are ever provided. It is. It
also lends it an air of like legend y like story,
all that stuff. We meet Li Mubai, played by the
very handsome Chao Yuan, fat so handsome no skips in
this movie, no face cards declined.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
The fact that that man can make that haircut still
seem plausibly, plausibly sexy. Yeah, well done, sir.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well done, sir. That is that is a high level
of difficulty.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah yeah, because look, I don't want to insult people's cultures.
That haircut it needs some explanation.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
If you don't know, it is the front half of
his head is shaved and the back is a long
braid all the way essentially down to his ass.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, y yeah, yeah yeah all right.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
So Li Mubai arrives in town. He is a renowned
warrior who trained at Wu Dang. Wudang is a martial
arts school in the Wudang Mountains. Wudang will kind of
be used in changeably. Wu Dang is a mountain and
it is also the name of the martial arts school
on top of the mountain.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yes, that crucially only accepts male.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Students, only accepts men. He's been meditating there and he
has only just returned. A woman notices him. She runs
into a house. She's calling for shul En. She tells
Shulienne that Lie Mubai has arrived, and we cut to
the aforementioned Julienne played by Oscar winner and Pantheon member
Michelle Yo. Yes, yep. Shulienne looks up maybe maybe Erica

(19:28):
the tiniest of smiles on her face. I mean, is
it a smile. We can't be sure. It is an
iota of a smile.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
It's inscrutable exactly.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Shulienne is a warrior as well. She is the head
of a private security company that she inherited from her father.
She goes out to greet Li Mubai.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
The two warriors are very formal with each other, but
there's clearly great affection between them. I'm just gonna say
it out loud. Sexual tension, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah, get out, get out the band saw because we're
gonna try to cut through the sexual tension, and we're
gonna need and we're gonna need a plug in.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah at the fan, get the fainting couch. Yes, there's
so much sexual tension between these two.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Julienne asks how his time went at Wudang, envious that
he gets to go there since she is a mere
female and does not. Le Mubai tells her that he
left the meditation training early because he came upon a
place that his master had never told him about. He
was surrounded by endless sorrow and he couldn't bear it.
Can I just say, Okay, what a way to start
a movie.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Why don't we to start a movie. But also, like
people like, meditation is so good for you, it'll help
in these anxiety ridden times, a way to calm yourself,
to find a sense of inner peace.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
To center yourself. And then you get to the center, it's.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
Just endless screaming in horror.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
This center is just sorrow, just emptiness and sorrow.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
It's just a never ending distance future full of grief
and sorrow and pain.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
I love that. Like, you're right, people don't often give
us the counterpoint of meditation. Sometimes you just need constant distraction.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Oh, I just realized that almost all of my loved
ones are going to pass away before me.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
I gotta make younger friends so I can leave somebody.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
So he goes on after endless sorrow, which surely would
end any conversation with me. So she's got much more
patience than I do. If you walked into the room
and you were like, I was like, how was your vacation.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Endless sorrow?

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Cool? Okay, Well I have another thing that I have
to go to.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
I desperately need to have a root canal.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
I am ten minutes late to a thing.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
That's how I know you were lying, because you wouldn't
care if you were ten minutes late.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yeah, that's my tell. I'd be like, your endless sorrow
is frankly dull.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
I'm bored.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
I'm bored by your endless.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
You're the bartistickle like close, you're yawning in my face.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
We all have endless sorrow. Get something interesting, Get endless breadsticks.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Come on, come on, get endless shrimp.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, get it, get bottomless shrimp. Don't get bottomless sorrow. Guys,
if you earn nothing from us today.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
If you take nothing else for the show.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
So she's like, how is your meditation? And he's like, well,
something was pulling me back. She asks him, what was
pulling you back, and he looks at her really intently,
And I have to be honest, I've seen other things
with Chilian fat and I never really thought of him
as like a tremendous actor until I saw him in
this movie, and I was like, oh, you're very fucking
good at acting.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
He looks at her with this intensity, and without really
saying the thing out loud, he's just he says something
I can't let go of, and we and like, it
is you. You are the thing I can't let go of.
It was just it's so romantic.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Shulianne is not sure what to say to this, but
le Mubai quickly moves on. They do not sit in
this in this awkwardness at all. He asks her, Oh,
are you preparing for a journey and she says, yes,
I'm headed to pay King the next day to deliver
these goods to pay King and he says, fantastic. Can
you take my sword Green Destiny to Sirtey, who he
calls their greatest protector. That kind of means like benefactor,

(23:01):
like these warriors are hired or you know, hows and
stuff like that. H Like a patron, Yes, like a
patreon member.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Is their biggest Patreon member.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Imagine the Warriors setting up a Patriot Patriot docs dot
com slash Li mu Bay and Shulienne.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
I bet you there is something like that on Patreon.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Uh Li mu Bai says the sword has caused too
much death. It's time for him to leave it behind,
and Shulienne is like, well, why don't you come to
picking with me? Like oh, the road trip, road trip,
and he says, first I must visit the grave of
my master, and then he gives us a crucial bit
of exposition. He says, it's been many years since his
master was murdered by Jade Fox, and Li Mubai has

(23:47):
not yet avenged his death, and yet he wants to
lay down his sword. So he must go to his
master's grave and pray for forgiveness for not avenging his
name before retiring to a life of peace. M hm.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
We cut to Shoelie arriving in Peking. She delivers the
sword to Sir Tang played by the father from the
Wedding Banquet.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
See whom loun When I Erica, when I saw this man,
the noise I made it was like a move. I
was like, like I genuinely had no recollection that he
was in this movie because I saw this before I
saw the wedding Banquet, so there was no Yeah, and
he's still giving just the best dad energy. Yes, incredible,

(24:30):
he's so good in this movie.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Well, I just realized we did two angly movies pretty
much back to Bell. We had one last month and
no one this month, like Angle for the Wind.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, spoiler, we're not doing Sense and Sensibility.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
We got a ton of requests for Sense and Sensibility,
and we actually decided we can't do it because we're
doing this angry movie, not that angly movie, and we've
already done another angly movie. Yeah, Sirte doesn't want to
take the weapon, the sword. He says only Lee Mubai
is worthy of it, But Shu Lean explains that Lee
Mubai wants to start an You would be doing him
a favor by taking this memory of all the pain

(25:05):
that has caused off of his hands so he can
retire in peace.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
He doesn't want any more bottomless sorrow. He wants bottomless mimosas. Yes,
he's trying to move on from the bottomless sorrow.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Let's dance. At the end of the world. Everyone is
what we're saying. Certe wonders if Lee Mubai is trying
to tell shoe Lian something by giving up the sword,
do you think maybe he's uh asking for bottomless Shoelien. Yeah,
he's ending his wandering ways because he wants to have
a more permanent home. If this is the moment I
was talking about, it's so funny. He's like, look, I

(25:37):
don't mean to pry. He literally says, I don't mean
to pry, but girl, you got to get it while
the getting is good. Yes, you know what I'm saying,
Jump on that d you know it. That's not what
he says. But he does say I don't mean to pry, however,
and then he's literally prize.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
He literally is like, why haven't you two fucked yet?
What's going on? Uh huh, you're both adults, you're both handsome,
go for it. Yes, he says, I know how you
two feel about each other, and it's a shame you're
letting all this precious time go by.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
M hm.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Shulienne says they aren't cowards, and Sirtey laughs and he says,
when it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots, true,
I would say, especially great heroes.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Sirte then goes on to meet Governor U, who has
just arrived at Sirtey's estate with his family. Governor You,
we do, do we ever see Governor You? We see
his wife and his daughter a lot.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
But we don't see We see him briefly.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
We do see him very briefly, right, Okay, so he
is like the local magistrate, major aristocrat. Tho.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Shuly Enne brings the sword to Sirte's study, where he
will be keeping it. It is important to note that
this study could not have less security. I know you
weren't a Harry Potter person, but it just reminds me.
There's this repeated thing in Harry Potter where like Dumbledore
keeps saying there's no safer place than Hogwarts, and I'm like,
and yet and yes, it is under siege by the
greatest evil wizard of all time constantly.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
How about the Hague? Can we try that instead?

Speaker 2 (27:03):
So she goes into the study and she meets the
governor's eighteen year old daughter, jen U, played by Jiangxi,
a beautiful young woman in very traditional aristocratic dress, like
compared to shulann who's in kind of more of a
I don't mean this word badly, but like a peasant look,
a lower class look. I suppose a working woman, a
working woman, well one of the people.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Okay, let's stop here for a second, because I need
to talk about Jiangxi. That's not fair. No, that's not fair.
It's not fair for someone to be that attractive.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Her face is not fair.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
It's not her face, her body, her everything. She's also
a good actress fuck you, fuck you, and a great
martial artist apparently, and like excellent at choreography. Double fuck you. Yeah,
that woman is so gorgeous. There are many scenes later
where half her face is covered and like everyone's like,
who's that? And I'm like, it's the impossibly beautiful woman

(27:53):
that you all know and recognize. How are you not
recognizing her?

Speaker 2 (28:00):
So the two women sit down. Shulienne shows Jen Green destiny,
and Jen is fascinated by both the sword and Shulienne's
life is a warrior. Her face lights up when she
sees this woman. Right, she thinks it sounds like Shulienne
is totally free, and Shulianne assures her, look, my life
has rules too. If a warrior's life didn't have rules,

(28:21):
we wouldn't survive. You know, there's honor, there's all this
stuff that we have to keep track of. Still, Jen
says it sounds wonderful, says I'm getting married soon and
I haven't lived the life I want. And in an
extremely tough look for shuly Enne, after hearing that, she says, congratulations,

(28:43):
Julienne not reading the room. But to be fair, this
is setting up the character beautifully right. Shulienne follows rules.
Shulienne doesn't push back against any social structure that she
has been living under. She makes her way within the structure.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
It's fair. That's where she runs her father's company. I mean,
presumably because she doesn't have brothers to do it, and
she gets to exist in a man's world almost by accident.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
I think. Yeah, because all the other warriors that you meet,
she is the only female warrior official.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah, the funny thing about this movie is it has
far more female warriors than male warriors. Yeah. In fact,
one male warrior, yeah, three top notch female warriors.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Yeah, she's the only recognized warrior. I guess.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, she's only like, yeah, she's got a certificate.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, she got a certificate from Warrior School.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
It's hanging up in her den.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
She graduated. She moved the tassel from one side to
the other. Then she took a saber and she chopped
the tassel off, and she graduated from Warrior School.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
That night, Jen prepares for bed and her governess played
by Peipei Chang, who has been with her for ten
years crucial. Remember that member asked Jen about shoeli En.
She's like, what was it like meeting that that other woman?
And she says, listen, your mother would not want you
associating with that kind of person, Like, it's improper for
a woman of your stature to be having tea with

(30:03):
a woman of with trash with Shuelian's.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
If someone who was born a street rat will die
a street rat and only her fleas one morn, don't have.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Tea with you, don't have tea with her. She runs
a very successful security firm.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
She stinks like poverty.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Haha. Jen's jaw hardens and she says she will socialize
with whomever she wants. I'm gonna say a lot of
shit about Jen throughout the film because she is she
is a very shitty teenager. A lot of it. But
I fucking love this woman.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, she's a very shitty teenager. But the movie very
carefully lets you know why she's a shitty Yeah, and
there are good reasons, and she's got.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
A backbone of steel.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
She does.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
I love her. She dismisses the older woman and retires
to bed Yep.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
That night, Master Bo played by Jean go is patrolling
the grounds. Bo we Will is here for the movie
for the comic relief.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
He is so good, He's so funny, so funny.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
We cut to Certe's study. Clad figure. No one could
tell who it is, impossible, it is a mystery, don't
even try.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
It's a five to two person with a flawless face.
Who knows who?

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah, this black clad figure silently enters the study and
steals green destiny. Bo arrives and the two clash, but
the thief easily gets the better of him. I did
my best to figure out what this weapon that Bo
is using is called. It's like a long staff with
like than a chain, then another shorter staff attached at
the end. It's like a nunchuck with one side like
a quarter staff. Very fun lots of weaponry. I found

(31:33):
out a lot of weaponry names. Doing the research for
this movie.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's a good that's good research because there's some stuff
I'm like, WHOA, what's that called?

Speaker 2 (31:40):
I think I have everything except this one.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I'm excited to find out.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yeah. So the thief easily defeats Bo. They are far more.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
They they they because we do not know the gender
of this five foot tall the gender supermodel who has
entered the room.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
They fly up into the air. They literally leve it.
This thief can fly. Okay.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
I don't know if this is an innovation of this film,
because I this is the only film of this genre
I have ever seen. To be fair, it's probably not
an innovation of this movie. I can tell you for
someone in a Western audience who is maybe perhaps used
to like if I think of martial arts, I think
of Jackie Chan, I think of Bruce Lee. I don't
think of this. Yeah, and this sort of ballet infused

(32:26):
martial art, like it's stunning. This was a moment for me.
I was like, this is the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
So Bo's starts calling for help. He pursues the thief
running along the ground, and he comes across an older
man and a young woman grappling with the thief. This
man is Si played by Wang de Ming, and his
daughter May played by Lee Lee. We hear May call
out that they must avenge mother, but they are also
no match for the thief. The thief again levitates to

(32:56):
the roof and Bo runs up to them. He's like,
what are you doing here? And Si eyes clearly and
says he and May are just performers. We're training for
a show. And though Bo does not believe them, he
has bigger problems and the two get away.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yep, speaking of those bigger problems on the roof, the
thief encounters a much bigger problem shue Lyenne. She's heard
Bo calling for help, and she's there to take the
sword back. She tells the thief to return it and
she'll leave them alone.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
I will say that movie watch it because I watched
it twice and Michelle Yo Best Actress winner Michelle Yo
does such an amazing job. You find out she knows
who the thief is the whole time, and she plays
it perfectly. Yes, like you can see in her eyes
she's She's not fooled. Everyone else is fooled. Shuely Enne
knows what's up.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Maybe it's like a woman recognizing the other woman.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Sure, I guess recognizing game.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yeah, exactly. So the two exchange a quick series of jabs,
and shoele Enne looks up confused at the at the
younger thief, and she like, look, it's j Jen is
the thief. Okay, now that we know who it is,
which I honestly, even in two thousand, I was like,
well that's Jen.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Oh yeah. I mean they do a close up on
her face and you can see her eyes like.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
It's like it's so clearly like at the time, she
wasn't that famous. This I think the movie that made
her famous to American audiences. But I was like, that
is a face you do not forget once you've seen it.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
And look, if Anglee wanted the audience to not know
who the thief was, there are ways he could have
done it to make it to cover her up far
more confusing as to who it might be. Yeah, and
he doesn't he's not expecting the audience not to know.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
So anyway, Shulianne looks at the quote unquote thief and goes,
you've been training at wu dang question mark. The thief
flies away over the rooftops and Shulienne gives chase. For
all her skills, she cannot defy gravity in the same
way that this thief can. That's like the thief has this.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Extra superpower because of the Wu dang training.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Exactly because Julienne has not been trained. She can't do
a little of the flying, but she can't do it
as well. So instead she runs along the walls and
she like kind of parkours over obstacles to keep up.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yep. Shulianne finally manages to knock the thief from the
air into a courtyard. She rips a stone off the
wall and just knocks her out of the air. The
two start exchanging blows, and this drum score that's been
going starts to kick up. This is such good storytelling
through fighting because you can see that Shulienne is the
better fighter, but the thief is holding her own and

(35:18):
she's also continually trying to take flights, so Shulianne has
to keep grabbing her and yanking her back down to
the ground yea, so she can take her on.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Holding her down one foot while she's fighting. It's so cool.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
After a long exciting battle, Shulienne manages to keep jen
on the ground long enough to trap her. Before she
can snatch the sword back, her warrior instinct senses something,
she moves, and she snatches a dart out of midair.
She looks up at a neighboring roof and a figure
ducks away, So okay, the thief. The thief has an
ally of some sort. The thief uses the distraction to

(35:52):
levitate over a building so tall that Shulianne cannot scale it,
and she escapes with the sword.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
The next day, then the Governess and Jen's mother, Madame You,
arrive at Sirte's estate to find that someone has put
up posters looking for Jade Fox. So the posters claim
that Jade Fox is part of Governor U's household, and
the Governess is like, there's no way Jade Fox could
be here. We would know, we would ferret her out.

(36:19):
She crucially says her she uses she uses female pronouns here.
This is this is another little tell. Once you see
the movie a few times, you're like, okay, picking up
on that clue, and Madame You gives her a look
to quiet her down. Yep, right, Madame Us like, shush.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
It's like an interesting thing is they're almost trying to
bring up Madame You as a possible suspect as well. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
She throws the poster on the ground and shulian finds it. Meanwhile, Bo,
who's the security guard, remember the comic relief.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
The comic relief, the clown for the film.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
He is so good we don't give him enough credit. Like,
the physicality of this actor is tremendous.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
So he's hunting for Sy and May, the other two
people who are father daughter Peeah, and he spots May
in town and he follows her and he finds where
she's been hiding with her father and spies on them.
This is so funny. They're like, we'th nothing, We're humble
circus performers. And then he like finds their hideout and
there literally is like a fucking armory full of weapons.

(37:17):
They're like polishing swords and like this enormous warehouse full
of weapons.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
We cut to Governor Hugh's house. Jen is practicing calligraphy
while her governess does needle point and Sholeyanne is announced.
A sermon comes in and the governess is like, uh,
I don't think and Jen's like shut up, Shu. Shulianne
has shown in and Jen greets her with genuine excitement
and again expresses her wish to be free to live
her own life, to love whoever she chooses, like Shulianne

(37:46):
and Lie Mubai. And Shulianne is like, look, poor little
rich girl, can we stop romanticizing my life. I sleep
in taverns, I don't get to bathe all the time
like and also I've never gotten to fuck Lee Mubai.
Let's just be clear about something. So Shulianne says, look,
I was once engaged to an oath brother of Li
Mu Bai. That guy died in battle. After his passing,

(38:08):
we grew closer, so they weren't they were, There was
no affair. It wasn't like she was engaged to someone
and actually love someone else. She loved this guy he passed,
he was killed in battle. Then she grew to love
his best friend. But out of a sense of loyalty,
they have never acted on their feelings. So she says,
you see, I desire the same freedom that you do,
and I have never tasted it.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, She's like, women, no matter who they are, have
to live by these rules, and I'm like, damn, we
are fucked.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
So we better figure out, you better figure out how
to live within this structure. You think. Shulianne ever like
accidentally like licks Li Mu Bay's neck, like like the
Winoda Ryder and Mermaids. Yeah, just like loses control and it's.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Like that other guy had better have been so hot. Yeah,
to make up for the twenty years of deprivation this
woman goes through.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yeah. So Jen says they should be like sisters, and
Shulianne smiles and agrees.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
That night, as Jen prepares for bed, we get a
flashback to the not distant past. Jen and her mother
are traveling through the desert in like this long caravan,
But before anything else happens, we cut back to Gen
combing her hair in the mirror, her face wistful. The
next morning, Cy and May are still watching the compound
the father daughter weapon pair.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yeap.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
They are looking for something or someone, and as they leave,
there's another person who is watching the same compound. This
is Low played by Chang Chen. He has a more
wild look than the other characters, with long, unkempt hair
and some facial hair that I would reconsider.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
If I were him, I would You don't want to
hide that face behind anything.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I would that's I would definitely reconsider that mustache and
that that little because also he's not someone who grows
facial hair very well.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Agreed, Yeah, that's fair, that is fair, all right, So
we stick with father's sword a daughter dagger.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Aha.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
They return home, they find Bow in their house searching
their house. There's a brief exchange of blows, but then
SI says, look, I'm a police inspector and Bo's like, okay,
we're on the same side. Like I'm trying to figure
out what's going on, So they exchange information. SI says,
I do not know about the Green Destiny, and I
do not care about Green Destiny. I am here, I

(40:17):
am a police inspector, and May and I are looking
for Jade Fox. He says, Jade Fox killed my wife,
who was an advanced martial artist. She killed her and
then infiltrated the governor's household. Bo is surprised to learn
that Jade Fox is a woman and is initially dismissive
of her as an opponent, and Si is like, I
don't think you could handle her, okay. A dart flies

(40:37):
into the room at that moment, which Si snatches from
mid air with his chopsticks. Very very karate Kid coded hah.
A note on the dart reads, we'll settle this at
midnight on Yellow Hill, and Bo decides, Okay, I'm gonna
go with you. I'm gonna help you take care of
this Jade Fox character. Yeah, you definitely need me. I'm
really good at fighting.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
I am absolutely not gonna hold you back. Don't worry.
I love it. The police inspectors like, I would rather
have my thirteen year old daughter there yep, than you
in terms of who's a better fighter. Uh what if
this movie had Johnny from Karate Kid? That's what this
movie is missing. It is it's missing, right, it's missing
William Zabka.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Yeah, he would have been great.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Johnny just walking in here and being like crouching Tiger
D's nuts, am I right, Like getting into a brawl
and getting like one or two guys and then just
getting the shit kicked out of him by everyone else. Yeah,
oh you know what, that's where the ninety eight percent
comes from. Yeah, critics understood what this movie was missing.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Saying one wrong thing to Michelle Yell and her just
putting his her fist like through his head.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
So Le Mubai arrives at Surtees and Shuelienne shows him
the poster of Jade Fox.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
He's remember, Jade Fox is also the criminal who murdered
his master.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Right right now. The audience knows it's a woman because
of the police inspector. But I think that was a
clue earlier that the governess gendered her as a woman
Jade Fox, when everyone else assumed it was a man.
Lie Mubai is shocked that Jade Fox would dare return
to Peking and hopes to avenge his master's death after all,
Oh okay, Shoelienne advises caution and apologizes for losing the sword.

(42:14):
She's like, I promise you I will get your sword back,
and Li Mubai says, oh, I don't care about the sword.
I didn't even know it was gone until I had arrived.
And Shulienne is like, well, then why did you come
if it wasn't to get your sword back? And his
face sobers and he says, well, we had talked, and
he like kind of reaches his hand out towards her,

(42:35):
and then a goddamn servant interrupts before they can continue
the yearning. He is about to declare his love goddamn peasant.
Why are you in the room.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
The aristocracy is right, peasant. He can't train a good peasant.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Read the goddamn room, Major Tomo.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
He has bottomless yearning and he wants bottomless puss. Sure, sure,
why not?

Speaker 1 (43:07):
You know what, though, it would be funny if you
were just like an angry servant who was annoyed at
being a servant. Oh, waiting for moments just to interrupt things.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Just come in and crop dust.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
And I know who the killer is. The killer is.
Excuse me, everyone, I just came in to let you
know that lunch will be ready at two o'clock. We know,
we had said initially it was going to be ready
at one forty five, but we're actually running fifteen minutes behind.
We're very very sorry.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yeah yeah, And then they leave, and then he starts again.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
As I was saying, oh, I'm so.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Sorry, I'm back again. This is actually just for Madame Scarlett.
Your room does have a clog in the en suite,
so you we're gonna have to bunk you up with
Colonel Mustard. Okay, thank you, And that's okay with you.
I think the two fine.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Fine. Can you just we're doing something.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Okay, so I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Fine, thank you God. Okay, detective, who is this killer?
Who is sucking?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm so sorry? I forgot to ask? Does anyone want
a refreshment? I have? I have a pimps cop. I
have I have water still or spark? No?

Speaker 1 (44:05):
No, we're fine. Oh we don't want anything to drink.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
A finger sandwich because lunch is running late. As we said, no, thank.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
You, okay, thank you, yeah, close the door behind you.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Sure sure, detective, Lunch is ready. So we cut to
Yellow Hill at midnight. Bo Ci and May are impatiently
awaiting the arrival of Jade Fox. In the courtyard. Ci

(44:38):
is holding these things. They are called deer horn knives.
They are two curved blades that are kind of like
welded together to almost look like an eye, like a
stilized eye. So like it's sharp and pointy everywhere on
these things.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
So that I love that you know these words.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
I was like diving deep. I was like, I want
to know what this is.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
This is sexy.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Thank you. A figure appears. It's an old woman, hunched over.
She stands and reveals her face. It's Jen's governess.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
What what the Governess was Jade Fox the whole time.
Oh my god, if only the movie had given us
seven clues. Uh.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
There's the customary exchanging of insults, and then the fighting begins.
May is absolutely out of her league. She has like
one small knife. She runs in and she just gets
batted aside like a gnat immediately and essentially does nothing.
The rest of the fight, Bo takes a comical role.
He has somehow chained himself to a tree. I think

(45:36):
the implication is that Si does it without him noticing it.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yes, I think that's what happens. Sid. It's like, look,
you're out of your depth here, and I don't want
you to get in the way. So without without this
guy knowing, he has somehow managed to chain him to
a tree.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
So he gets himself free of that, and he winds
up being more of a hindrance to Sigh than in
a weapon for Jade Fox to use against the inspector. Right,
She's just like pushing him in the way of the inspector.
The Inspector's trying not to kill him.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
There's an amazing sequence where the two of them, the
inspector and Jade Fox, are like clashing swords.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
Huh, and Bo is like in the middle in the way,
and they cut to the actor's face and he's like
eyes wide, like, oh my god, oh my god, oh
my god, what do I do?

Speaker 2 (46:17):
This guy is serving face it's so good. He ultimately
gets paralyzed by Jade Fox, who used a series of
pressure points. Despite sigh yelling She's going to paralyze you,
he cannot defend against it, and he gets frozen with
like a dufus expression on his face. Right, so this
is the comic relief. He does a great job. Yep,
CI can at least hang with Jade Fox. Although Jade
Fox has the edge, she ultimately gets the better of him.

(46:41):
She hisses you, filthy mongrel, and she prepares to kill
him with the end of her spear. Her staff is
constantly like morphing into different weapons, only for Lee Mubai
to appear and save the day.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Lee Mubai confronts his sworn enemy, Jade Fox. He accuses
her of infiltrating Wu Dang while he was away, stealing
their secret manual, and poisoning his master. All of this
will come come back, So remember all everything I just said.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
This is all important, all important.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
She spits back that his precious master would would sleep
with her happily but would never teach her, so he
deserved to die by a woman's.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Hand this performance.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Honestly, now I'm on her side. I didn't have that information.
The movie has yet to tell me that women explicitly
cannot be trained at w Woudan will find out that later,
like explicitly, And I was like, wait what because at
this point I'm like, well, Michelle Yo is a great
a great warrior too, she must have been trained in
a similar fashion. But now we learned she did it

(47:40):
on her own, as did Jade Fox, and I'm like,
bitches are getting it done.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
There's a couple of things in the movie like that
where I would imagine a Chinese audience would instinctively know yes,
and we just didn't.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Well, because I have this only film of this genre
I've ever seen, and like, I think I'm hoping anyway,
maybe people who've seen many films with this genre, We're like, Okay,
we don't need that information. Again, but for an American audience,
which is what this is for, like a Western audience.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Expressly made it for a Western audience, like.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
You'd need these moments of like explanation, but it's done
in a very seamless way where it's just all kind
of baked into the movie without it being like, and
here's the history. Yeah, blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Jade Fox is my favorite character in this movie. Paypei Chang.
Oh my god, the icon you are.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
I love a cunty teen girl. So Mike is still
gonna be Jen, okay, but this woman is amazing.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Jen has five wolves within her, but they were all
raised by this woman. They were cultivated, they were bred,
and they were raised by this woman. I love her.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
This this is the wolf that started Rome.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
So the two of them have this epic fight, and
now the balance of power has shifted because Leemubi is
more than a match for Jade Fox. She pulls out
every trick she can think of. She's simply outclassed. He's
not only is he a better warrior, he has actually
been trained, and he's been trained really, really well.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
He is the most powerful warrior in the movie.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
He is number one superior warrior in the film, not
from talent but by training. Li Mu Bai knocks Jade
Fox to the ground and tells her that even after
ten years her moves are undisciplined. He moves to execute her,
but his blade is stopped by the green Destiny. The
thief has returned, the anonymous thief, who knows who it is.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Has everyone forgotten because we already told you so. Now
the battle splits in two. Lee Mubai spars with the thief.
Much like Shulianne. He is clearly the better warrior, and
he is fascinated with the thief's skill and talent. Indeed,
when the thief performs a particularly advanced move, Lie Mubai says,
hang on, Jade Fox, can't be your master. This is

(49:44):
more advanced than Jade Fox. Meanwhile, across the courtyard, Jade
Fox returns to her battle with the three musketeers really
just sigh again. Bo and May are not factors in
this battle. As they fight, she also has time to
notice the thief's advance fighting skills, and this look crosses
her face surprise, betrayal. She sees the thief doing something

(50:06):
she doesn't know how to do. Yep, sensing the opportunity.
Sensing her distraction, Cy takes one of his deerhorn knives
and hurls it at her, and it looks like it
hits she flips over. She's wearing this cloak. The cloak
flaps around, she slams onto the ground and sigh is
like revenge complete and he lets his guard down and
Jade Fox returns the deer horn knife in kind, hitting

(50:27):
Cy right in the forehead and he dies.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Oh, I actually out loud even yesterday watching the movie
went no. Yeah, So it's hard when he dies.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Now, would you say, Erica that he got a splitting headache?

Speaker 1 (50:49):
I don't think I've ever been prouder. The student has
to pass the master once again.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
That was so beautiful, all right, So le Mubai is
momentarily distracted by SI's death and Jade Fox uses the
moment to grab the thief and she escapes with the
thief over this wall. These like silver streamers trailing behind
them into the night.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Looks fucking cool.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
It does.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
The movie does a good job because Sai is such
a small character and like there's almost no reason for
us to care about him. But when he dies and
his little daughter runs up to his dead body and
it starts to cry, I'm like, it's so affecting and
like small, not small, big spoiler, but he's like for
for a while. This is only death we're gonna get, yeah,
this film, and so you're like, it has to land.

(51:39):
It has to show that there are stakes. People will
die in these Yeah, in this epic battle that is
that is coming u and it's it's very affecting. The
next day, Lee Mubai and Shulienne discussed their options with
Sirte their their benefactor. Le Mubai wants direct approach to
both Green Destiny and Jade Fox, but Shulianne warns that
such a bold action could refer reflect badly on.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Surte, right, because they think that both of these things
are in governor use household. But you can't just go
to the governor and be like you're harboring a criminal
and a thief.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Right because also, and the reason it will reflect back
badly on because Cirtae is in charge of security basically,
which is.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Why he keeps a very valuable relic in an open
study with no guards or locks on the doors.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
That is a bit Also, Bo, that's your security guard
if you're like head of security for the entire region. Yeah,
like Bo boh okay, is he like your nephew?

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Is he a nebbo higher baby Nebo baby.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
So Shulienne asks Sirte to instead, why don't you invite
Jen and her mother for tea And the men are like,
what's the point of that, and she goes the best
way to trap a fox is through her cubs. Listen,
you try it your way, men, let me try it
my way.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
Yep. So we cut to Shulienne welcoming her guests and
under the guise of gossip with Madame U while Jen
sits quietly by. Julienne says, we know who stole Green Destiny,
and she's sure that if the swords returned, Sirte will
just let the matter drop. Unfortunately, the mercy will not
extend to the murderer who has recently returned to Peking

(53:16):
the killer of Li Mu Bai's master and a policeman
just the previous evening. So she's giving all this information.
Obviously we're seeing Jen react. We should say, also like
when shuley Anne and Jen first meet and Jen realizes
she knows Li Mubai. She's a hero worship for Li Mubai,
she knows who he is, She's heard the tales of
his exploits, and she's drinking the kool aid. The Li

(53:37):
Mu Bai kool Aid. Madame U posits that the thief
and the murderer could be the same person, but Shulyanne says, oh,
I doubt it. The thief, she says, calmly picking up
a sugar bowl and then dropping it so Jen can
almost instinctively catch it silently without her mother ever noticing,
is very unusual.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yeah, but like fast, yeah, Jen, like it's superhuman. How
fast she is able to catch the bowl before it falls.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
That night, the thief appears and the rooftops again.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Still we still don't know who this is.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
This mystery woman, a person.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Will never know. Anonymous thief will be the character name Aha.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
They approach Sirte's study, seemingly intent on returning Green Destiny.
When Li Mubai appears, demanding to know where Jade Fox is.
He easily snatches the sword back and pursues this thief
over the rooftops. He corners the thief and tells them,
you've clearly been reading the Wu Dan Manual, but you
do not understand it. He offers to teach the secrets

(54:35):
of Wudan to the thief. He wants a disciple, and
he understood. He recognizes the immense talent in this individual,
and also he can see that they are fundamentally good
at heart. They are not evil the way Jade Fox is.
Jade Fox couldn't even corrupt you. You must be a
good person. The thief snarls, wu, Dan is a whorehouse.

(54:56):
You can keep your lessons. I'm not your disciple. They
fly away.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Yep. We follow this anonymous unknown person to a house
and we see Jade Fox inside a room in her
governess drag. The thief enters and reveals herself to be Madame.
You ha, we fooled you. She reveals herself, of course,
to be Jen. She demands to know why Jade Fox
is still there. So never explicitly said in the movie,

(55:21):
but what we know now is she knew that Jade
Fox had this manual, and she was training with Jade Fox.
She did not know Jade Fox's criminal, murderous past. Yes,
and then when she murdered the policeman last night.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
That's the first time she'd ever seen her do that.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
So Jade Fox snaps, I am still your master, and
the two exchange quick blows and Jen gets the better
of the older woman. We learn that Jen, being an aristocrat,
knows how to read, so she could read the Wudan Manual,
while the illiterate Jade Fox could only study the diagrams,
and that's how Jen surpassed her master. Real pain comes

(55:57):
across Jade Fox's face, like this hurts. She thought they
were in this together, and Jen kneels down. She explains
that once she realized she could surpass her master, she
became scared. She didn't know what to do, and Jade
Fox says, I promise you. I still have lessons to
teach you, and she leaves.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
But not in a nice way, not in a Mary
Poppins governess, more in a like wicked stepmother, yeah kind
of governess.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Way, kind of like a Darth Vader.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. She's like, I still have
lessons to teach you. When she leaves, and Jen's like,
did you mean did you mean crochet?

Speaker 2 (56:31):
I've want I've been wanting to learn how to how
to how to make a cake?

Speaker 1 (56:34):
Can we do that? Can we do that instead of
killing each other?

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Is that okay?

Speaker 2 (56:38):
I prefer that? Thank you.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Then a servant comes in and is like, hi, ladies,
I just want you to know tomorrow morning we have pancakes,
so make sure you're up and at them early in
the morning. Get out.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
We're talking, okay, Geez, Sorry, sorry, geez.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Jade Fox, you will never best me for I have sorry.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Just one more thing. What I just wanted to let
you know that I had to change the sheets on
your bed because there was some bloodstains on them. I
don't think we need to get into it. I just
want to know I'm washing them and there the sheets
are a little You.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Can stop talking to me now, you can just leave.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
You can just thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Jade Fox. You're fired. I never want to see you again.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
I'm so sorry. If you had the water for to
wash your face tonight, I don't I know. I don't
want you to break out. You're getting married soon. So exciting.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
That was the sound of Jen murdering servant, the second
death of the movie. Second death. The only person Jen
murders in the whole movie is the irritating servant.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
The irritating interrupting servant would be a pretty good like
Molie Air Farce.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
A shoeli En watches Lee MoU By practice with the
Green Destiny. The amount of horniness. Yeah, so okay, So
he has the sword back that he took back from
the thief and he takes it back to the compound
to pay his compound and he's like practicing with it.
And it's funny because in the interviews, chaoion Fat has
said that he has actually very uncoordinated uh huh and

(58:10):
not not like a natural at like choreography or martial arts.
So like it's kind of true, like if you look
at it, he has given some of the easier choreo
in the film, Yeah to do than any of the
other actors.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
Well, Michelle Yo is like Simone Biles around.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
And it's very funny because until you know that a
little bit of information, you don't notice it and then
you're like, wait a minute, what is he doing? But anyway,
he's practicing with the sword. He's doing his level best.
Bless you, chaw Yon Fat and Julian is just like.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
A Jerulinga has never been this flooded. Oh my god,
the water has reached the top floor.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Academy Award winner Michelle Yo shows you the horniness with
every fiber of her being, but without saying a word
or moving a muscle.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
So he goes on to tell her that he must
avenge his master's death before he can retire. He's also
kind of seemingly reluctant to give up the life. He
was so sure he was going to give up the life,
and now having his sword back and having found someone
that he can train, he's more. He's like, maybe I
gave up too soon. He tells her that he wants
to train Jen, and Shulanne insists this is an aristocrat.

(59:19):
The warrior life is not for her. She is meant
for other things. There's a sense here right of like
maybe jealousy.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Not in a fellow way, but like this was supposed
to be our time, and this younger person came along,
and it's a woman, and it's a woman, and you
never said I should go train at Wudang, even though
I took out this bitch a couple times.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. Like this woman has superseded
everyone's expectations. And I think you can't help but feel
for Shulianne and like, yeah, she must feel like surpassed
in every way. Le Mubai says, Look, I don't think
that that aristocrat girl is meant to be someone's wife.
I think she's meant to be a great warrior. He

(59:57):
wants her to come to Wu dan and and train,
and Shoelianne points out they don't accept female disciples there, remember,
And then she points at.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Her tips Michelle Yo, rips open her shirt and starts
doing that thing with your boobs where you make each
one they make then talk to each other. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Do you remember when we asked to go to Wu
Dang and he said no, I do remember.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Yes, now you do it with your balls, okay. Lee
mu Bai thinks they'll make an exception for this girl,
and if they don't, I'm afraid she'll become a poisoned dragon.
Which is fair. It's a fair argument. You You let
this kid's like talent fester with the anger combined with

(01:00:40):
the anger that she's clearly feeling about being trapped in
her shitty life. Yea, and this will be this will
be a villain for the ages. He asked for Shoelienne
to be patient with him for a moment longer and
wait for him, and then oh year the yearning.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
He's like, I won't go back to the place the
bottomless sorrow, the place of bottomless banging.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Can't we just do that instead?

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Just do that. So that night, Jen is lying in
bed and she hears a noise outside the window. The
window opens and Low, remember Low, he of the unkempt
terror and the questionable facial hair, so sexy, he appears,
and she has a sword at his throat before he
gets through the window. Right as soon as she recognizes him, however,
the sword falls and the two fall into a passionate embrace. Yah,

(01:01:28):
they do what Li Mu Bay and Shulyanne have been
waiting twenty years to do. In the first four seconds
that we see them, bless them. Yep Lo says I
was wrong to let you go, and he asks her
come back to the desert with me. I promise you'll
be free there.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
What what what is this backstory?

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Dun dun d If this was the Golden Girls, we'd
hear that like exit music. I think we should put
a little commercial break in here. Should we tantalize them? Yes,
let's tantalize the audience like like like Li Mu Bai
is tantalizing shul Enne. It's rude.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Frankly, maybe a commercial for Low's hardware where you can't
buy exactly weapons, but you could buy some shit to
make weapons with. Forge your own weapons.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Shulianne would love to go to Lowe's Hardware so she
could at least get some hardwood into her life.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
There you go, you know what I mean, Home Depot,
Fashion your own weaponry.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
We will be right back, and we're back.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
We open with a flashback. We cut to perhaps a
year or two in the past. Jen is with her
mother again in that long caravan through the desert that
we saw earlier. She's playing with a like a comb.
How boring is this like? Because you have to remember,
this is a rich kid, rich teenager. How boring is

(01:02:49):
her life that she's like, ooh, look at this comb.
I know what a fun comb to play with. She's
playing with it like a kid with a new game boy,
Like she just got a new iPhone and she's like,
ooh a comb. The comb is the iPhone of seventeen hundred.
Her mother's like put it down. She's like, I swear

(01:03:10):
I won't break it. And I'm like, oh my god,
how boring really is your life?

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
You can read? Do you not have a book?

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
We see low at the head of a gang of
bandits known as Dark Cloud. Right. He's a highwayman, except
in the desert.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Yeah, he's a road pirate.

Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
Yeah, so hot, in case you didn't think he could
get hotter. He's watching the caravan approach and the bandits
charge as Low commands them, do not touch the women,
leave them alone, just steal from all the men.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Yeah, these are honorable bandits, right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
Jen peers out of her coach. She's like, her mouth
is open. She's like, I can't literally can't believe this
is happening. Meanwhile, her mother behind her is fainted at
the mirror approach of bandits. Nothing has happened, nothing will happen.
And the mother's like, oh. She looks back, she'ses, your
mother is painted, and she's like ugh, and she just
keeps staring out the window at like everything gets going on.

(01:04:00):
Low rides up, he spots her, he winks at her,
and he steals her comb yep, and she's like, uh, whoa,
what the fuck? He calls for the bandits to leave.
Dark Cloud escapes away, dark Cloud away, dark Cloud. That's
what I say when I crop dust of an airplane. Yeah,
and Jen is like, uh, bitch, no, I'm fine with

(01:04:23):
you attacking everyone else, but you stole my comb. It's
my only toy.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
You took my game boy, and it is nineteen eighty seven.
I will end you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
I will end your life. So she gives chase.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
The two of them ride through the desert, sparring on horseback.
There's bows, arrows, spears, horse tricks everything.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
This scene is fucking amazing. I'm not like two actors
having a fight while on horseback. And at one point
the actor who plays Low, I don't know. He probably
doesn't do the stunt himself. There's someone else doing it,
but like Low like jumps off his horse while the
horse is still galloping. He springboards off the earth. It
turns around, so he could be backwards on the horse. Yeah,

(01:05:05):
so he can continue his fight with Jen. Yeah, it's
fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Yep. Jen eventually falls and Low calls her, go back
to your mother. Look, as Erica said, there's a backbone
of steel in this girl. She does not take insolence.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
I love her.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
She runs and retrieves her horse and she rides after him.
She eventually finds the Dark Cloud bandits enjoying their loot,
their divvying it up whatever. She rides up to the
men and the men start to come after her. They
start to approach she knocks out like six of them, one, two, three,
four or five sex it's worth mentioning.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
She's like, like, there's a look ilasciviousness to their gaze
when they see her, and she's like, bah, good luck. Yep,
it's so excellent to watch like a man be like
mm yeah, a defenseless female and then like she just
fucking nails them all.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:55):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Lo suddenly appears in the distance. He's still on his horse,
and he shouts she's mine from her back and he's
holding up that comb he's holding up the game boy. Yeah.
The chase continues. She leaps back on her horse and
the two of them take off.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Low calls a truce for the for the two of
them to have some water after they've been like presumably
like continuing sparring and fighting and galloping on horseback for
miles and miles and miles. He takes him up to
a creek that has dried up and he laughs, He's like, well,
there used to be water here, and then he gives
her his canteen. Canteen. Yeah, it's a pouch, but I

(01:06:27):
don't know what the actual word his water pouch, his
water pouch. She takes some water, and then she kicks
him down a sand dune because she's like, she is
not here for peace. She did not come here to
make friends.

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
Yeah, She's like, where's the bus. I gotta get you
under its wheels.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
She's like, where's my goddamn comb. She literally is like
she's she's on it. She's like, I want my combback.
You just took something from me. This indignity will not stand.
They grapple. They're pretty evenly matched, like even though she's
she's got all this warrior training, he's he's living on
the streets, right, so he know else how to fight.

(01:07:01):
Jen finally manages to knock Low out, and she stands
up and delivers one more kick for good measure, and
then she walks about three feet away and collapses. She's exhausted.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
Yep. She wakes up in a cave. She's under blankets,
clearly safe. Low enters and she grabs an arrow to
defend herself, but he gives her just a roast chicken
on a stick and some something to drink and leaves
and let me tell you something. Jangxi goes after that
chicken honestly, like, girl, I see you. I appreciate you

(01:07:33):
well done.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
She goes after that chicken like like Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah,
it's just like a rabbit dog. It's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
Once she's finished, she sneaks out of the cave. She
sees Low roasting more chickens on the fire outside. She
knocks him out with a rock. She steals a horse,
and she rides off, although she has no idea where
she's going. Yeah, we see her riding, and we see
her riding, and eventually she's just walking. Erica, what happened
to the horse? She ate it? Shed that horse. She

(01:08:09):
collapses again.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
She wakes back up in Low's cave. Low, okay, Like,
I can't tell you enough. The first time I saw
this movie, I did not get a from the jump.
It helps that the dialogue literally says, do not touch
the women. Even though they're fighting and they're sparring, he's
never trying to hurt her. He's he's at best trying
to subdue her so that she doesn't kill him. That
I never get the sense that she's in any like

(01:08:33):
sexual danger.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Yeah, he's laughing, and not at her. He's laughing with the.

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
Joy of having like someone on his level. Frankly, so
she wakes up in the cave. Now, her wrists and
hand and feet are tied up and she's like struggling
against them, and he tries to give her some water,
but she just spits it in his face. He goes,
what's your name? She goes, she spits more water in
his face, and he's like, well, to nice to meet you.

(01:08:58):
I see you're still in a bad mood, so I'm
gonna let you chill, and he leaves. She curls up
and she weeps because honestly, she's I think she's just
not used to on top of being an aristocrat's daughter
who's always been taken care of and looked after, she's
not used to like powerlessness, and so she doesn't know
how to handle it. She wakes up again, and Lowe's like,

(01:09:18):
I prepared a bath for you, and I've set out
some clothes for you to wear it. They're clean and well.
There's also an exchange I should mention earlier where she's
tied up and she looks terrified on him, and he goes, relax,
if I had wanted to, I already would have. Yeah, Which, men,
that is not the argument you think it is. That
is not as soothing as you may think, oh, you're right,

(01:09:41):
he probably would have already if he wanted to. I'm safe. No, no,
how about just don't worry. I absolutely one hundred percent
will not assault you. How about that instead? Actually, you know,
I don't say absolutely one hundred percent, because that's the
lady doth protest too much. Uh huh, just say don't worry.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
So he unties her gingerly, and he's like, I'll even
sing for you, so you know where I am, so
you know I'm not watching you bathe and this actor
is so charming, so so charming. What a rogue. He
like unties her, and he's like la la la, and
he like starts to sing and dance out of the cave.
It's so cute. And he starts to sing and dance

(01:10:23):
into the night sky. So she hears him walking away.
She knows she's safe, and she's she's able to dig
a bath. He also said to her he hopes she'll
be in a better mood after the bath and that
there will be no more braining. She can't help but smile, yeah,
because okay, he's good looking and he's charming and this

(01:10:43):
is a little sexy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:44):
Yeah. So after her bath. They talk. He's like picking
like things out of her feet with tweezers, like she
has like little stones and better than her feet and
stuff like that. Yeah, and Jen again says give me
back my comb, and he tells her I don't take orders,
and they quickly start grappling again. The grappling. Now they're
grappling like on on the blankets on the floor with

(01:11:05):
pillows about you're.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
Both wearing like loose clothing because because they're both wearing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
His clothes, they've both been fed.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
Okay, there's but but we're you're cutting out a very
crucial thing here. She like takes one of his spears, right, Oh, yes, yeah,
it's like a little dag, not a What is it?

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Okay, tell what it was. I thought it was a
pen for a second.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
It looks like a like a dart, yea like something
you shoot at someone. But it's like a thick dart.
It looks like a pen.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
You're right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:34):
And she takes it and she kind of holds it
up to his chest and she's like, give me back
my comb and he's like no, and he's like, you're
gonna have to stab me. And I swear to God
he doesn't even finish saying stab me. She just stabs it.
It's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
That was the fourth Wolf. The fourth Wolves are real, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
She's like, you're gonna have to stab Oh, you stab me,
you stab me. She stabs him in the chest. Now
it's not like she knows what she's doing. She stabs
him with just the tip.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
Yeah, just for a second, just for a.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
Second, just so he is stabbed. But he's not like
mortally injured or even like gravely injured. But he starts
to bleed. This is this is crucial to this next scene. Continue.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
So they're grappling. That escalates to kissing, and that escalates
to the bone zone.

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
The bone zone. Okay, I have to interject again because
they're they're like grappling, and it starts off kind of rough, right,
and then it gets softer, and then it gets softer,
and then he's bleeding all over her and she is into.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Defeated enemy. I.

Speaker 1 (01:12:39):
These two are so hot, and then it cuts to
like them kind of like she's on top when he
starts to like feel her up a little bit and
she does not push him away, and then he gets
on top and starts to kiss her and then we
see his hands are down her pants. She is into it.
The only reason I really get into it is because,
like you, they do not expect in a period piece

(01:13:02):
to have It's not graphic, but it's it's hot.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
They start kissing passion.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
It is a hot sex scene. Yeah, I just really
liked it. I really liked it because it's like it's
it's a meeting of equals here and they're both scrappy
and like it's part of it for them. Well, wouldn't
you know it, These two kids fall in love. What
we cut to them sometime in the future. Who knows
how long they've been together, could be a week, could
be a month, but they have been going at it

(01:13:32):
like jack rabbits for a month. They are now deeply
in love. One day they see a group of Jen's
father's men searching for her, and they ride off so
far that they actually get to the foot of some
mountains with grasslands around them.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
They're trying to like escape, Yeah, how far did they ride?
Five minutes ago? This desert was endless.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
Also, like China, I don't know if you guys know this.
China's big. It's a real fucking big pa. It's a
large territory still, yet the pursuit continue. Her father is
looking for her, like he desperately wants to find his
missing daughter. Lowe tells Jen that he wants her to
be with him forever, so he promises to make his

(01:14:10):
mark on the world and earn her parents' respect, but
he also kind of encourages her to go back to
her parents. She is willing to just stay there with
him forever, and he's like, they love you and they
miss you, and if you were my daughter, I wouldn't
stop until I found you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
As the hypothetical father of a prospective daughter, I would
also want my daughter back.

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
Well, he doesn't say me even he's his our if
our daughter was missing, we would want to find her.
He is such a fundamentally decent guy, Like, yeah, he's
a thief, he's a professional thief, but he's such a
good guy. He's like, look, I will find you, and
I will make myself so impressive that your father can't
refuse me when I ask for your hand. And he
tells her the legend about a young man whose parents

(01:14:52):
were ill, and the young man jumped from that mountain
that they're looking at, but he didn't die. He wasn't
even harmed. He was so pure of heart that God
granted his wish and he floated away, never to return.
It's a beautiful it's a beautiful myth.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
Yeah, just saying.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
He tells jen that a faithful heart makes a wish
come true. And she goes back to his cave one
last time, and they go to the bone zone one
last time. It's very sweet. There's like a scene earlier.
He calls her the greatest is shooting star, like these
two are deeply, deeply in love. She gives him back
her comb and she says, keep it safe until I
return to get it back from you when we're together again.

(01:15:34):
And he's like, I promise I'll keep it safe, and
she says she like smiles at him, and she says,
if you don't, I won't let you off so easy.
Next time, excellent.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
We cut back to the main timeline. Remember we left
the main timeline. Low had appeared in the window. Jennet
passionately kissed him, and he said, come back with me
to the desert. You will be free there. This is
where we pick up. Low explains he went out. He
tried to make his way in the world, but everywhere
he went, somebody recognized him as the bandit.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
Yeah, he had been Dark Cloud had too much good
pr Yeah, you know what, their marketing director did a
too good of a job. They had full market saturation.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
Uh huh on Dark Cloud with the low as the face.

Speaker 1 (01:16:11):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
Yeah. When he heard of her engagement, he knew he
had to come see her and ask her to come
back to the desert with him. He failed in what
he promised to do. Your parents are absolutely not going
to approve you marrying me. I'm sorry, but I am here.
Please let's go back. You were right, you were right
all along. We should have just stayed in the desert.
Jen pulls away from him and she's like too a
little too late, motherfucker. Ouch, she says, and he says,

(01:16:34):
is it over? And she says it's over, get out, don't
come back, and he gives her the comb and he
climbs to the window and leaves.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
We have to give the actress some credit, yeah, because
it's not like she's like, I don't want you anymore. Yeah,
that's what she's saying, but the look she is serving.
She turns away from him so the audience can see
her face. Even though he can't, and the look of
absolute pain and suffering on her face, it's very clear
she's afraid. She's afraid of her feelings. He's afraid of
being nothing out in the desert, which she could be

(01:17:02):
something in the world. And she's she's afraid of giving
up her autonomy to this man. It's very similar to
the other like yearning love lost storyline.

Speaker 2 (01:17:11):
In the film. And she's also I think, afraid of
what would happen with her family. She doesn't hate her family.
She doesn't like what her father is making her do
in marrying this man, but like there is some affection
between her and her parents. They're not like evil to
her or anything like that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:24):
The next day, Jen Girl, she gets married.

Speaker 2 (01:17:28):
She gets married. But I gotta say kudos to Angley.
First time, I didn't even realize she was married for
a minute because they just cut to the wedding procession. Yeah,
there is no ceremony filmed.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
We also never see the husband tonight. I have no
idea what he looks like, who he is, what if
she shows up. It's like an arranged marriage, right, so
she doesn't know him and she shows up and it's he's.

Speaker 2 (01:17:46):
Gorgeous, it's Henry Golding. Whoever the Henry Golding was nineteen
in two thousand.

Speaker 1 (01:17:52):
And She's like, oh, okay, okay, I'll do this guy.
This is good. It's the guy from the wedding banquet. Yeah,
it's that guy. So oh so real quick. I know
we just did a whole month of wedding movies and
so this this does not this is not that month.
But this is the best wedding gown.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
Oh yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 (01:18:11):
In a fucking by a mile in a walk. This
wedding look is so gorgeous, everything about it. She just
looks stunning. So during the wedding procession, is the bride
is being I don't know, marched somewhere with no husband,
just by herself, just taking somewhere. Low appears on horseback,

(01:18:32):
shouting her name, begging her to leave with him. You
belong with me, You belong with me. Men are fighting
him off and he's fighting back. It's very end of
the graduate. Yes, come with me. In the confusion, Lee,
Mubai and Shulianne are able to get him away from
the guards, and in an attempt to help the young lovers,
they tell Low to go to Wou Dang mountain and

(01:18:53):
wait for words there from them, like we will get
you back together with your love because we think she
has a bigger destiny than just be this guy's wife.

Speaker 2 (01:19:01):
Yeah. That night, Sirte reports that Green Destiny despite again
all of the security precautions in his study, has he.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
Not beefed up security a little late? No? Why is
there not that laser thing that Catherine data Jones had
to go through in that one move? Like why is
there not that?

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
Why is there no pressure sensor on the floor yet?

Speaker 1 (01:19:20):
Yeah? Come on, like I get it. Okay, maybe they
didn't have electricity back then. You know what? They had bears? Yeah,
they had bears in China. They have aren't they? There's tigers? Yes, sure,
Christ tigers in China. Put a fucking tiger in that room.

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
So Green Destiny has again been stolen. As Lee Mubai
and Shulian taken this news, Bo remember Bo, the comic
master that is Bo. He appears to announce that Jen
has run away. Her husband arrived at the wedding chamber
to find it empty. Jen's father, Governor Yu, has requested
Lee Mubai and Shulian's assistance in recovering his daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:19:53):
If I were the dad at one point, because like
I could understand, like during the caravan incident, everyone's distracted.
You don't know that she's ran. You think she was taken,
and you're like, oh no, my daughter's been kidnapped by bandits.
Yeah no, she runs away again. I'd be like, you
know what, she fool me, wants shame on you. Yeah,
fool me twice, Jen ran away again. Maybe I shouldn't

(01:20:15):
be so eager to get this daughter back.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:18):
We cut to Jen in boy drag in the most
unconvincing boy drag Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:20:24):
Okay, on a scale of one to ten, with one
being Dustin Hoffman and TUTSI unconvincing or Robin Williams and
Missus Doutfire ten, and then a ten being.

Speaker 1 (01:20:35):
Oh I would give missus Doutfire a tent?

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
You give her a tent?

Speaker 1 (01:20:37):
If I passed that person on the street, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't hesitate to say it was an old Scottish lady.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
Okay, sure, sure, I was gonna say. Everyone in Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert, Oh well, they're not convincing ever, they.

Speaker 1 (01:20:48):
Look like drag queens, where she looks like missus doutfire.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
Okay, all right, fair enough, so one being Dustin Hoffman
and Tutsy ten being Robin Williams missus doubtfire.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
This is a two. There's a two. It is perhaps a.

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
Beautiful a castrato in the Italian opera or up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:05):
She doesn't disguise her voice or anything. She just puts
on boy's clothes and everyone's like, well, that's a boy.

Speaker 2 (01:21:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:10):
She arrives at a tavern with green Destiny. She's like
setting off to make her own way in the world.
Two men approach her, looking to start some trouble. She
slices their weapons in half with green Destiny, and they're
shocked and they're wonder if she is related to Le Mubai.
They recognize the sword and she says, huh. She scoffs
and says, he is my defeated foe, and the other

(01:21:32):
two men's eyes get wide. What the hell mm hm.

Speaker 2 (01:21:36):
Meanwhile, we see Li Mubai and Shulianne traveling through the forest,
still yearning quietly for each other, still not doing anything.
One day they take a break in this little like
you know, forest hot whatever a rest area was in
that time. Lee Mubai dares to take Shulian's hand, which
is apparently it's the equivalent of requesting anal. On the

(01:21:56):
third date, he tells her he wants to.

Speaker 1 (01:22:00):
Hi, excuse me, hi, yep, I am the bathroom attendant
here at this rest stop, and I just wanted to
let you know that we have just cleaned the stalls. Okay,
so if you were thinking of taking a tinkle, now
is the optimum time to do so.

Speaker 2 (01:22:14):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:22:15):
You are very welcome. What a handsome couple you are.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
Thank you. We're not a couple, but thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
Okay, okay, over there if you need anything.

Speaker 2 (01:22:22):
Thank you so much. So he takes Shulianne's hand. There's
this moment between them and he tells her.

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
Me again, also want to let you know that the
mister Freeze is out of commission, so do not at
the moment have any soft served ice cream. But if
you look in that case over there, we have little
pints of ben and Jerry's and hogindag the hoggen DAWs
will go quickly, so I suggest you get one now if.

Speaker 2 (01:22:45):
You're thank you so so much.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
Yeah, no problem, no problem. You know it's so nice
to have people around here. I don't often get a
lot of people through this restaurant.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
You're a talker, so it's just.

Speaker 1 (01:22:53):
Nice to have some company. Anyway, I'll let you get
back to whatever conversation you were having. I'm sure it
wasn't anything deep meaningfuler yeah, and uh yeah, I'm gonna
go read my magazine.

Speaker 2 (01:23:04):
Thank you, thank you later. So le mu Bay dares
to take Shulian's hand. He tells her.

Speaker 1 (01:23:11):
One more quick thing. I just want to let you know.
I'm gonna go with my break in about ten minutes,
so we are going to be unattended. You two seemed
like you're fine. I have no worries about leaving you here,
you know, with my cash register. Just don't rob me, okay,
if you don't mind.

Speaker 2 (01:23:25):
Just we are honorable warriors.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
We will not rob you know what you gave off
that vibe. So I'm good. I'm good. I think we're good. Okay,
And what are your names? Where are you from?

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
Well? You know what? We actually are in the middle
of something right now. Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,
see yourself out.

Speaker 1 (01:23:41):
I did not want to did not mean to interrupt
you at all. My mom always used to say, yeah,
it's nothing. Is ruder than someone who doesn't take a
hint and doesn't understand when to leave a room. So
I always listen to my mama. She's doing better. So
she had surgery. Oh no, yeah, and she's doing better.

Speaker 2 (01:23:56):
But at that point, Julianne leaps up and drives the
servant out of the room with her bare hands and
slams the door and locks itt.

Speaker 1 (01:24:04):
I was wondering how long you were gonna let the
servant talk.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
So back to the movie, the lemu By dares to
take Shulianne's hand. He tells her he wants to leave
the warrior's life behind and just be with her in
a place like this, without that servant, at peace.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
Without that servant. Crucially, we cut back to Jen she's
having lunch at an in Okay, buckle up. Best scene
in the movie if you thought.

Speaker 2 (01:24:31):
Disagree, Second best scene in the movie for me.

Speaker 1 (01:24:33):
Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're right, You're right,
maybe second best scene because honestly, I thought we had
hit our peak at horseback fight scene. I really did.
I thought we hit it and we did, Like, well,
this movie can't get any more exciting. Yeah, and then
this scene happens. Actually, no, this might be my favorite
scene in the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:24:53):
Jen is having lunch at a in with a crowd
of warriors. She goes to a table and this is
what that woman orders, that ninety pound woman orders for lunch.
She goes steamed hole cod fried ribs, bite sized meatballs,
a little starchy and light on the sauce, shark fin soup,
mixed vegetables, and warm wine. And the waiter goes, I'll

(01:25:15):
have to go order that from a bigger restaurant, and
she goes, good, go tell me you're an aristocrat. Without
telling me you're an aristocrat, She's like, banquet feast. Please.
The men who approached her earlier point her out to
some of their compatriots, and a large crowd of men
twenty twenty five strong at least approach her, armed to

(01:25:37):
the teeth with various very cool looking weaponry. One introduces
himself as Iron arm Me and says he has come
to seek a lesson from a true master. We hear
you are real fucking badass that we came to test
you out. Jen just scoffs and ignores him. He takes
a fence and he attacks. She easily knocks him across

(01:25:59):
the room, but notices that one of her strikes actually
hurt her. She snatches back his sleeve and reveals it
his quote unquote iron arm is just a bracer, and
she goes, some iron arm, you are, you're cheating, it's
brass knuckles.

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:26:11):
The other men demand more information. Who the fuck are you?
Who trained you? What? How do you have green destiny?
She sneeringly dismisses them, until one of them introduces himself
as Phoenix Mountain Gao.

Speaker 2 (01:26:26):
He holds out this iron fan and she's like trembling
as he holds it out.

Speaker 1 (01:26:30):
I've seen that in a ton of movies. I wonder
if that's like, I'm supposed to look bad at. I
think that's supposed to look bad at. Oh okay, I've
seen that in a bunch of martial arts films. It's
always like that, that iron fan, and then they're just
like shake it, yeah, like they rattle it unfortunately, and
this guy has no idea, He has no idea what
he has just stepped into. Gao happens to be the

(01:26:51):
last name of the guy Jen was forced to marry.
She's like, Gao, I hate that name, and she goes
ape shit. She becomes a flying avatar of rage, tearing
through these warriors with ease, jumping around them, flying through,

(01:27:13):
knocking them out with like a single soft blow, just
like the tip of her sword on their forehead and
they fall to her feet. As she's doing this, They're like,
who are you? And she says, I am the invincible
sword goddess. I am the dragon of the desert. Yes,
oh my god, Jen, I love you.

Speaker 2 (01:27:31):
She says, Tomorrow I will kick over Wudang Mountain.

Speaker 1 (01:27:34):
Amazing, who amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:27:37):
This whole sequence is so funny. These men all step
into the space where master Bow was in the earlier fight,
like they're taking hits and making faces, and it's very funny.

Speaker 1 (01:27:47):
And to be fair, like to be clear, rather like
she's tiny. She's a very tiny woman. We've seen her
probably in other movies. They have cast only huge, enormous
men for this fight.

Speaker 2 (01:27:56):
Seeing we cut to Shulienne and Lee Mubay at that
same inn, Jen has departed. The inn is in a shambles.
The furniture took the furniture really takes a beat.

Speaker 1 (01:28:06):
Okay, there's a great moment at the end of that
scene where she's like, I will kick over Wu Dang
mountain and one guy is upstairs with her still and
he's like trying to get away. He's like no, no, no, no,
no no no, I do not want to be alone
with her anymore. And he tries to go down a
flight of stairs and the stairs all collapse before he
can go down them, and he's just suck like going.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
Like so all of Jen's defeated foes are telling Shulienn
and Li Mu Bay what happened that Phoenix mountain? Gu
is I mean, he is beat up.

Speaker 1 (01:28:37):
He's wearing a neck brace.

Speaker 2 (01:28:39):
It's like he's like, who was that person? Shulienne and
Li Mu Bai decide they're going to split up. Li
Mu Bai is going to ask around for more word
of gen see if you can gather more clues. Shulien
will go to her headquarters, which happens to be close by,
to check in, and he says, I'll join you there
later and we can get a good night's sleep with

(01:29:00):
no servants. He doesn't say all that, but that's the
implications implications the yearning. He does not want to go
to the bottomless sorrow pit.

Speaker 1 (01:29:08):
He wants to go to the bottomless feeling feeling up
Michelle yo pit yeah, who doesn't, who hooms hooms among us.
Julianne arrives at her headquarters. She is quickly followed by
a visitor, Jen, who calls her sister, Listen, if a
teenager is nice to you, I understand, I understand. Your

(01:29:28):
teenage lizard brain kicks in and you're like, oh my god,
a teenager wants to be my friend. I must be cool,
I must be with it. I must be the kind
of adult the teens think they can be friends with.
Don't fall into their trap. They are not your friend.

Speaker 2 (01:29:42):
They're there to ravage you and not way.

Speaker 1 (01:29:44):
Teenage girls are not your friend. Run by the way
real quick. I just want to mention that. When she
arrives at her headquarters, everyone there, all the men, all
the women, everyone is. They show her nothing but respect.
Julienne she is, She is top of her at what
she does and in her life. So Jen comes and

(01:30:04):
shoe Lanne welcomes her in, and Jen starts to cry.
She falls into Shoelianne's embrace. Julienne offers her some sisterly advice.
Since you called me sister, I'm gonna give you some advice.
You should go back to your parents and then all
three of you can decide what to do about your
life and about Low. Jen's face hardens. She had to
realize that Julienne knew anything about Low, Like you keep

(01:30:27):
Low's name out of your whore mouth seems to be
the implication there.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
And also you're keeping tabs on me. You keep it,
yet you're spying well, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:30:35):
Also Low is is Jen's weakness, Yeah, and she hates
that she has a weakness. If she loves this man,
then she has something she can lose. Yeah, and that's
the last thing a warrior can have is something they
can lose. Right, So she's like, no, no, no, no, no,
that that part of my life is dead. Julienne tells her, Look,
Lo is not dead. He is waiting for you at

(01:30:57):
Wu Dang Mountain. And Jen snaps, we're you guys are
all just working to manipulate me. All you want to
do is get me back home or married off to
some man. You do not want me to become a
fucking warrior, which is my destiny.

Speaker 2 (01:31:08):
You don't want me to be an invincible sword goddess.
And I've had enough of it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
Julienne has finally had enough of Jen just thumbing her
nose and all the rules that Shulienne has been subject
to and victim to her whole life. She's like, this
is how the world works, you dumb bitch. She says,
you are no sister of mine, and Jen shrugs and
taunts her with I wonder how long then you would last?

(01:31:33):
Is my enemy? Oh no, oh no, no, no no no,
Julienne demands Green Destiny give me back the sword. Jen
tries to flee, but she gets stopped in the open
gym on the ground floor by some sparring men who
are practicing in the gym. She starts to fight the men.
Shulianne appears and says, stop, everyone leave and lock the

(01:31:57):
doors behind you. This is Paul's face.

Speaker 2 (01:32:00):
This is the best scene in the movie. This is
this scene has a saber that splits into two sabers.
If I didn't know that was a thing. Why doesn't
every movie have a saber that plits into two sabers?

Speaker 1 (01:32:12):
Yeah, every fucking movie.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
Yeah, this is so cool.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
The Brutalist would have been a better movie if it
had had this this. If you know nothing else about
this movie, you know this scene. This scene was very
famous when the movie came out. It is a fucking
badass scene.

Speaker 2 (01:32:28):
Continue, So Shulienne and Jens square off. It is again
apparent that shue Lienne is the superior fighter, but Jen's
work with the Wudang manual possession of green destiny they
allow her to hang right. There are moments in this
fight where Shulianne has the opportunity to kind of really
hurt Jen if she wanted to, and she doesn't. She

(01:32:50):
just wants to put this little bitch in her place.
She wants to. She wants to hold her foot her
neck for like one minute, just one minute, just one
It would feel so feels so good.

Speaker 1 (01:33:00):
Hasn't want to put their foot on the neck of
a teenager, just wants if a group of teenagers gets
on the subway. Oh while I'm on the subway, I
will change cars.

Speaker 2 (01:33:08):
Erica and I found ourselves yesterday in Times Square suddenly
amidst a group of teenagers. And you have never seen
two adults look more panicked.

Speaker 1 (01:33:17):
Yeah, oh my god? What kind will they be? Friends
or folks?

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
We were surrounded?

Speaker 1 (01:33:22):
What will happen with these cheat with these scenes?

Speaker 2 (01:33:24):
So Shulianne works her way through her her magical saber
that splits in two, which I believe is called a
dow I look that up tool. She uses a spear,
she uses dual hook swords which she can hook together
and uses almost like a bludgeoning weapon.

Speaker 1 (01:33:37):
That's my favorite thing in the movie is that, Yes,
I love that thing.

Speaker 2 (01:33:41):
At one point she grabs an enormous monks spade to
brain gen with, but it's so heavy that she can't
lift it. It's this great moment of comedy. In the
middle of the fight that she's running, Michelle Yeo is
running towards Jijang and she just kind of overbalances and
falls backwards. Aha. She winds up with a metal club.
He's destroying more furniture. However, despite all of her skill,

(01:34:04):
Jen is able to repeatedly destroy every weapon with Green Destiny.
Shuly Enn furious declares without Green Destiny, you are nothing,
and Jen sneers and tells her don't be a sore loser.
And she holds Green Destiny out and she tells Shulienne,
go ahead, take your pick of all the weapons that
are left. Shulian walks to the wall. She chooses a

(01:34:27):
two handed broadsword. One of those hero moments where the
camera pans down and there's like enormous like string moment
with the score. The two duel and now Shulienne has
a plan. They go after each other, bang bang bang
sword swords sword. The broad sword is sheared in two,
just as all the other weapons were, but the stump
of it stops just before slicing open Jen's neck. Right, so, yeah,

(01:34:50):
you destroyed the weapon. I still beat you, Yeah, Shulian
demands the sword. Jen refuses to accept honorable defeat. She
slices Shulian's arm open, and the other woman falls back,
shocked at this behavior. Remember she said warriors have rules.

Speaker 1 (01:35:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:35:05):
Jen starts to approach her, holding Green Destiny at the ready,
like she's going to attack her again with the sword.

Speaker 1 (01:35:10):
Lee move By flies in and he positions himself in
front of Shulienne. He tells Jen that she doesn't deserve
the sword. Jen flies away, He follows her and they
wind up in a bamboo forest. This is so cool,
this scene. It is It's poetry, visual poetry.

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
The only tiniest little note I would have for the
scene is it's a lot of wire work, right and
unlike the really like grounded swords, clashing battle weapons going
we just had with Michelle Yo. This is, like you said,
it's poetry. It's like there's artistic shots to a string
score of just Jangxi's beautiful face.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
Like her like their hair flowing just in front of
the Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
It's almost like if this was a compic movie, it
would be a battle between telepaths right, so like and
some of the wire work is struggling to keep up
with the beautiful cinematography. It's an incredible amount of work
when into this, but some of it sometimes you can
see a little bit of the wirework.

Speaker 1 (01:36:05):
A little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:36:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36:06):
Well, I think because if the last fight scene, especially
if the fight scene in the tavern was about brute
strength and the fight scene in the dojo, I don't
know if that's a I think that's a Japanese word.

Speaker 2 (01:36:14):
I'm yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36:15):
In the gym, Yeah, if the fight scene in the
gym was about skill level, then this fight scene is
about stillness and balance, which is the one thing this
girl does not have.

Speaker 2 (01:36:26):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
She cannot defeat someone when it comes to like superiority
and just balance and patience.

Speaker 2 (01:36:32):
Yep. She has five rampaging wolves within her ha ha.

Speaker 1 (01:36:36):
So le mu Bay and Jen tests each other while
balancing on these on these like thin bamboo reads right
in the high high up in the air, hundreds of
feet up in the air. Uh. They start falling through
the greenery as they fight. He he never has He
always has this like proud, almost inscrutable smile on his face.
He never gets flustered. He doesn't get angry or frustrated

(01:36:57):
with her the way like she ended. He's excited to
test her skill level, and he knows deep down this
kid has got nothing on him, so he doesn't have
to worry about being injured. They finally wind up on
a stone above a waterfall and Lee Mubai offers once
again to train Jen. She snarls, as she'll be his

(01:37:18):
student if he can take green destiny from her in
three moves. You got three moves, old man. Go oh,
he's gone. It's gone. It's gone. He took it in
less than one move. He literally just snatches it out
of her hand. It's so good. She's like, oh shit,
and she immediately reneges on her promise. She's like, I

(01:37:42):
had my hands twirled behind my back. I didn't mean it.
Lee Mubai says that she has no use for Green Destiny,
and he hurls it over the waterfall. She panics and
she flies after the sword, diving deep, deep, deep into
the water. She manages to grab Green Destiny, but she
starts to dress because the sword has gone so so
far deep. Before le Mubai can save her, another figure

(01:38:06):
swoops in. Guess who's back, Jade Fox. Yes, She snatches
Jen and flees.

Speaker 2 (01:38:13):
Oh, I love Jade Fox. I should not be this
much on Jade Fox's Sidey.

Speaker 1 (01:38:17):
She is one villain of the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:38:20):
It's correct, like I should not be this Jade Fox pilled.
Jen wakes up in another cave. She's clutching Green Destiny,
and she finds Jade Fox loading poisoned darts into some
kind of spring loaded like gun that's gonna shoot like
dozens of these darts all at once, like the eighteenth
century Chinese equivalent of a machine gun with poison darts,

(01:38:42):
whatever that is. Jade Fox tells her that your parents
will never accept you again, but you can stay with me.
Will be our own masters. We'll be happy. She places
a bit of incense and a censor. She tells Jen
to rest, and she walks out of the cave. Thunder
rolls outside, rain starts to very dramatic pour down, and
back at Julien's we see that her arm is being bandaged,

(01:39:05):
but there's nothing wrong with her eyesight, and she spots
Jade Fox in the distance and she follows her yeap.

Speaker 1 (01:39:10):
In the cave. Jen wakes up. She's feverish, she's she's lethargic.
She struggles to get on her feet as Lee Mubai
appears at the entrance of the cave. This scene is
so gorgeous. They found a cave that has like an
under like a waterfall coming in through it. It's stunning.
The whole scene is cinematography is impeccable. She tries to
threaten him with the sword, but she collapses. She's been drugged, right,

(01:39:33):
he realizes it. He kicks the sensor away. He gives
Jen some smelling salts and he asks her where Jade
Fox is. But the young woman's like, I have no
idea what's going on. I am deeply, deeply stoned.

Speaker 2 (01:39:46):
I'm so high, man, I'm sorry, so high right now?

Speaker 1 (01:39:48):
Do you have a frozen pizza? No?

Speaker 2 (01:39:52):
Did you bring prinkles?

Speaker 1 (01:39:53):
Because I could, I would murder a box of Tiketo's
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:39:58):
I would not believe how fast eat those toritos ha.

Speaker 1 (01:40:03):
Shulianne arrives with Bo, remember Bo, he's still in the movie,
and Li Mubai is like, how did you get here?
How did you find me? And she goes, I didn't
find you. I followed Jade Fox. Jade Fox is around here, somewhere.

Speaker 2 (01:40:15):
That's all these two warriors need to realize they've been
set up. Darts start flying in all directions. Shulianne and
Li Mubay are batting them aside with their swords. Jade
Fox appears. She's firing more darts out of that like
a Chinese.

Speaker 1 (01:40:30):
Dart machine gun, thing her tommy gun.

Speaker 2 (01:40:33):
She's diving towards Li Mubai. He's ready for her. He
knocks her back and Jen cries out in fear for
her governess, this woman who trained for so long. Li
Mubai flies forward and he runs Jade Fox through, and
he says, and so you die, and she hisses and
so shall you. And he turns his head and we
see that one loan dart made it through his defenses

(01:40:56):
and speared him in the neck. Jade Fox says, he
deserves to die. That the life she was hoping to
take was Gen's, and we cut to Gen and she's like,
oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:41:07):
That registers my mother figure.

Speaker 2 (01:41:09):
What the fuck? Yeah? Jade Fox falls forward. She makes
eye contact with her former protege and she hisses, you
know what poison is? An eight year old girl full
of deceit, that's poison. She reaches out to the young
woman and gasps, Jen, my only family, my only enemy,
and she dies. Queen's queening Yes, with your final fucking breath.

(01:41:35):
Curse that bitch, Jade Fox.

Speaker 1 (01:41:40):
I've never seen you fall so hard for a villain before.
This is exciting.

Speaker 2 (01:41:44):
I love her.

Speaker 1 (01:41:46):
I love her too, but I'm still teen, Jen, bitch,
you cannot kill my teenage goddess. Julienne runs to the
corpse of Jade Fox and is like, no, no, no, no, no,
you can't die. You can't die. What poison did you use?
Please before you die, don't how Gary you use your
last breath to curse Jen instead of giving me the
answers I now desperately seek. She shakes the corpse, nothing

(01:42:09):
comes out. Jen's like, don't worry. I know what poison
she used, and I actually know the antidote, but it
takes a long time to prepare. Finally Jen is woken up.
She's like, oh, okay, so maybe I was being taught
by an evil master. Yeah, my bad. She asks them
to trust her and let her help. They agree, and
she runs back to Shulienne's compound R supplies.

Speaker 2 (01:42:32):
I mean they don't have much choice here, Like, does
anyone have any better ideas?

Speaker 1 (01:42:34):
Yeah? No, no, All right, then let's trust this teenage girl.

Speaker 2 (01:42:37):
Should we try to induce vomiting? Is that gonna do it? No?

Speaker 1 (01:42:39):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:42:40):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:42:40):
Should I suck out the wound like it's a spider bite?

Speaker 2 (01:42:45):
Shulienne and Le mu Bai wait for Jen, but he's
fading fast. He tells Shoelienne that his life is departing.
I actually got choked up, like I jet like this
is this movie has comedy, it has tragedy, it has
incredible action scenes, it has like it's incredible.

Speaker 1 (01:43:01):
It's the whole goddamn package is.

Speaker 2 (01:43:03):
He tells her that his life is departing, and Shulienne says,
use the time you have left to meditate and go
back to that place of endless sorrow. We'll never get
to endless puss. So you must get to endless.

Speaker 1 (01:43:16):
Sorrow, just endless nothingness.

Speaker 2 (01:43:20):
She says, use the time you have left to meditate,
don't waste it on me, and Li Mu Bay tells her,
I've already wasted my whole life. I want to use
my last breath to tell you that I have always
loved you. I'm choked up again. He collapses and she
rushes to him. She's kissing him. He kisses her back,

(01:43:40):
and he says, I'd rather be a ghost drifting by
your side as a condemned soul than enter heaven without you.
Because of your love. I will never be a lonely spirit.

Speaker 1 (01:43:50):
It's so good. It's so good crying in this movie.

Speaker 2 (01:43:57):
Li Mu Bay dies and shuly Enne weeps.

Speaker 1 (01:44:00):
Do I I.

Speaker 2 (01:44:01):
Didn't cry over Jade Fox, Okay, I just wanted to
celebrate her.

Speaker 1 (01:44:07):
Jen. Jen returns with the antidote, but she is too late.
She's shocked to see the great Warrior is gone. She's
also a little concerned that s Julienne's gonna get angry
at her. Julienne picks up Green Destiny and holds it
to Jen's neck. Jen, to her credit, she looks she

(01:44:28):
has fear in her eyes, but she just holds still.
She's like, you know what, I deserve whatever's coming. I'm
going to take whatever's coming. But of course Julienne has
too much honor. She doesn't harm Jen. She tells Bo,
remember Bo, take the sword back to Surte. She goes
to Jen. She takes a pin out of her own
hair and she puts it gently and sort of lovingly

(01:44:51):
in Jen's hair, and she tells Jen, go to Low
at Wudang Mountain and promise me one thing, whatever path
you take in your life, be true to yourself. Basically,
don't waste your fucking time. Yeah, and watch your lover
die without ever having been able to do anything.

Speaker 2 (01:45:11):
We cut to Wu Dang as Jen arrives. Low is there,
he's speaking with like a monkey. Sees her, he runs
to greet her. It's very interesting that this girl arrives this,
this male only space, and no one's like women, women, women.

Speaker 1 (01:45:22):
There's a girl here, this girl here. Well, they accepted
a bandit, why not her too? By the way, those
monks have gotten him just to comb his hair. Yeah, improvement,
hot oil treatment, I think, Yeah, so sexy.

Speaker 2 (01:45:33):
They embrace. They spend the night together. But even as
they're in the midst of making love passion. Jen's eyes
are open and she's kind of looking into the distance.
The next morning, Low wakes up to find her comb
beside him in the bed, the comb that started this
entire love affair. He rushes out. He finds her standing
atop a bridge, mist is obscuring what lies beneath, and

(01:45:53):
she asks him if he remembers the legend of the
young man who leapt from the mountain and got his
wish granted. He does, and she tells him to make
a wish. He says, I wish to be back in
the desert together again. And Jen levitates over the bridge
and flies into the mist, and Low weeps as we
see her floating into eternity, a peaceful expression on her face.

Speaker 1 (01:46:14):
And then Low was like, that was a metaphor?

Speaker 2 (01:46:16):
Are are you not coming back?

Speaker 1 (01:46:18):
That story was not real. It was, in fact a metaphor.
I don't think. I don't think I made that explicitly clear.
Oh she's dead, she's dead. She's dead. She kills herself.

Speaker 2 (01:46:28):
Oh okay, joki wow. And you know what, I bet
her father would have let me marry her if I
got through this. Wu dang training, I'll tell you, is
that dramatic irony? Maybe maybe I'm not sure. And then
a servant comes in. He's like, where did Jen go?
I have her breakfast? Not now?

Speaker 1 (01:46:42):
Not now, man, dude, read the bridge.

Speaker 2 (01:46:47):
That is the end of Crouching Tiger and Dragons. So
stick around. We'll be right back with our random observations
and final rankings. And we're back, Erica, Do you have
any last little martial arts moves to karate chop into us?

Speaker 1 (01:47:09):
Yeah? Sure. There's so many quotable lines from this movie.
Almost all of them are chowy on fat. They give
him like these like deep monk lines, like philosophical, like
like man studying with a group of monks. And but
my favorite one is when when he first introduces himself

(01:47:29):
to Jen and she's like, who do you think you are?
Are you some sort of great warrior? And he goes
like most things I am nothing. All is simply a
state of mind. And he says it in a way
with like such like matter of factness that like she
actually gets put off guard by him and she's like,
what the fuck, what what are you talking about? Oh
my god.

Speaker 2 (01:47:49):
Yeah. There is just one little moment when when Julianne
first arrives in Picking. They're kind of just establishing the city.

Speaker 1 (01:47:57):
Oh my gosh, I think I'm gonna have the same
one as.

Speaker 2 (01:47:59):
You is the acrobat. Yes, I as someone who has
recently suffered a like a neck injury where I couldn't
like move my neck from side to side like two
days because I don't know, moved wrong while I was sleeping.
These little girls, I mean truly like five or six
or seven years old. They're on their hands. Their bodies

(01:48:20):
are just used right, so they're they're basically their feet
are over their heads, yeah, and their their heads are
held up and they're balancing bowls on top of their heads.

Speaker 1 (01:48:27):
Yeah. It's like a like a little Street Acts reperformance
acts for the crowd.

Speaker 2 (01:48:32):
I did feel personally attacked, I'm just gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:48:35):
But the reason I have it in my notes is
because the way that she looks at the little girls,
the way that Michelle Yo looks at them, tells you everything.
It's so so smart because it tells you everything you
need to know about her own childhood without telling us anything.
That was her childhood in a way too, absolutely struggling
to survive. It was very very cool that well, not

(01:48:56):
struggling to survive that moment, that little exchange. Yeah, I
only have one more, and it's actually it's it's either
in the same scene or it's a little bit later.
But we're back in that like Peking Town Square where
all this the performance artists are and all the circus
acts are and stuff, and like there's a guy whose
whole thing is he is like his shirt over his

(01:49:17):
face so you can't see his face, and he's painted
his torso with like the face of a woman, like
a cartoon face of a woman, and he's like a
pudgy man. He can like roll his stomach to make
it look like the mouth is talking, and he's just
wandering the square doing this performance. And I'm like, excellent, sir,
I've got to look that up again.

Speaker 2 (01:49:38):
I think I missed that.

Speaker 1 (01:49:39):
Yeah, it's a it's a flash. It's when it's when
Chow Yun Fat now this time is walking through the
through the square and he sees him and kind of
smiles like he's taking in the general like stuff happening. Yeah,
it's really funny.

Speaker 2 (01:49:50):
Okay, all right, I only have one more too, And
it's just how do you solve a problem like bo
Erica because at the end, you'll remember he comes with
to the final confrontation with Jade Fox. Yep, Jen's like,
I know how to get the antidote, but you have
to hang on. I'm gonna go as fast as I can.
She rides off. Now we need to get Julienne and

(01:50:12):
Lee mu Bay some time alone, because you know, we
need to have our romantic moment. We can't just have
Bo standing in the background. How does the smart filmmaker
solve this problem? I know we're going to send Bo
out into the down poor rain and make him bury
Jade Fox alone.

Speaker 1 (01:50:28):
In the mud. I genuinely had a moment this time watching,
and I've seen the movie a dozen times where I
was like, does she wake up right here and kill him? No? No, no,
she really is dead.

Speaker 2 (01:50:38):
She's dead. She's dead. Now it's we have three minutes
left in the movie. She's dead. Okay, she's dead.

Speaker 1 (01:50:42):
Yeah, yeah, Paul, how shall we rank this masterpiece?

Speaker 2 (01:50:47):
One to ten?

Speaker 1 (01:50:47):
Splitting headaches, dad jokes for the wind.

Speaker 2 (01:50:51):
Uh huh uh delicious.

Speaker 1 (01:50:53):
One to ten. Fucking cool weaponry moments.

Speaker 2 (01:50:57):
Like sabers that split into two sabers, Yes, like like heavy, heavy,
monks spades.

Speaker 1 (01:51:02):
In the tavern sine, there's a guy with like two
giant like cudgels, and know what those are called?

Speaker 2 (01:51:07):
I believe those are maces.

Speaker 1 (01:51:09):
Maces, right, they're maces. But the actor doesn't do a
very convincing job of like making them not seem like
they're made of cardboard.

Speaker 2 (01:51:15):
Yes, they look like they have big balloons on the end,
because he's just like kind of it's like when you
see somewhere a cup of coffee that's clearly empty on screen.
There's like, like.

Speaker 1 (01:51:22):
You guys just jangling it around.

Speaker 2 (01:51:23):
You don't gesture with hot coffee like that. You just don't.
How about one to ten interrupting servants.

Speaker 1 (01:51:31):
Oh, that would be a good one. Let's do that one,
because I feel like that's a that's a riff that
like really kept going.

Speaker 2 (01:51:36):
He kept going and going and going, and yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:51:38):
Yeah, you know, as far as rifts go, you don't
want them to go on for too long.

Speaker 2 (01:51:43):
I'm so sorry to interrupt. Did you guys need anything
before you finished up the podcast?

Speaker 1 (01:51:48):
No, no, no, we're just talking about how long some rifts
can go and how sometimes maybe they go a little
too long. Okay, what do you think interrupting servan. Let's
bring you in. Do you want to go first or
I'll go first on this one. It's an easy one.

Speaker 2 (01:52:04):
Yeah, it's a fucking ten. It's a ten. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:52:07):
I see nothing wrong with the way this film ages.
It's an amazing movie. First of all, wonderful roles for women.
It introduced an entire generation of Western kids to this
genre of movie. It reintroduced Michelle Yo to a generation
of people. I think Chow Yun Fat had definitely already

(01:52:28):
been a star in the United States when this movie
came out. What is there to complain about?

Speaker 2 (01:52:32):
You can even find like a queer story in the
sense of some like someone Jen is desperate to break
free of the bounds of society, like to love the
person she wants to love, Yeah, and being afraid to
love the person that you want to love. Like, there's
nothing textually queer about this, but like you can you
can easily relate.

Speaker 1 (01:52:49):
I think bo is queer.

Speaker 2 (01:52:51):
Well, so the comic clown who can't fight is the
queer guy Erica, Sure.

Speaker 1 (01:52:55):
Obviously, because he's he's the one who's like, I'll bury
this bitch if no one else will.

Speaker 2 (01:53:00):
I guess we should finally tell everyone that bo is.
In fact, we gave a different actor's name before, but
he's played by Paul Lynde. It was his final screen appearance.

Speaker 1 (01:53:10):
Maybe Jade Fox is queer.

Speaker 2 (01:53:12):
Oh you know, I can see that I'd be really maker,
even more of a queen.

Speaker 1 (01:53:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's nothing to complain about. Eye opening
to like this is. I'm only speaking from my perspective. Obviously,
if you grew up watching Chinese martial arts films, you're like,
what the fuck are you talking about. There's a million
of them. I get that, I do believe me, But
like this was for this was for me. Yeah, this
was for like the uninitiated, and I was really grateful

(01:53:37):
for it. So I'm gonna give this film a ten
out of ten.

Speaker 2 (01:53:40):
You monster, how about you? It's a two. No, it's
a ten, it's a ten. There's nothing. There's nothing to
complain about here. Some of the best female characters, like
having those two women opposed to each other, but also
I think genuinely like each other and respect you and
respect each other, and you know, you have the older
person who was for lack of Wirtrum made her compromises

(01:54:02):
and like tried to find happiness within this system, and
like you have the young person's like, what the fuck
are you doing? Let's get the fuck out of here.
This sucks, you know, like and to have that be
the conflict between the two of them, and then also
to add in this man that they're not fighting over,
it's just like the way he's treating the younger woman.
Truliann's like, well, fuck my drag, I guess right, Like, ah,

(01:54:25):
like what the hell you know. It's not a romantic thing.
It doesn't have to be.

Speaker 1 (01:54:28):
It's a third perspective, honestly, and it comes from a
point of privilege where he's like, wait, we can do both.
We can work in the system and against it at
the same time. And both of those women are like,
wake ups, Sondra, that's not how the world works.

Speaker 2 (01:54:42):
And even Jade Fox is like, you know, like she
was at Wu Dang. She wanted to train and they
would not train her. Yeah, and she became a poison dragon.
Like that's what he says will happen to Jen if
they don't train her. And I just think it's an
incredible movie. Ten out of ten interrupting servants, No notes,
No notes, all right, So I'm guessing neither of us
are offering palate cleansers since we both adore this movie.

Speaker 1 (01:55:04):
Absolutely adore this movie.

Speaker 2 (01:55:05):
Yeah, so that is the end of the show. Everyone.
You can follow us on social media. We are on
Blue Sky, We're on threads 're on Instagram. On Instagram
is the only place that we post our monthly themes.
You can request on theme on Instagram. We have a
tea public shop. You can pick up podcast swag, and
we would love it if you would leave a five
star review on Apple Podcasts or any podcasting platform that

(01:55:25):
you use. If you do that, just like Mike TV
and xdcrzy from the top of this episode, you let
us know you did it. We'll send you a that
edge Well tote bag. And if you've always thought I
just don't know how to do that, it sounds like
a lot. I put a link in the show notes
to rate this podcast dot com slash that age well.
You click on that link, it will give you instructions.

Speaker 1 (01:55:46):
That aged Well is produced by the Grand Master Paul Kayola,
also edited by Paul Kayola. We would like to thank
Joanna Kelly and most importantly, the Orange County Modern Quilt Guilds.
I'd like to think of it as an account. That's
all like seventeen of them, yeah together, and they are
all voting on what to vote for. Thank you all

(01:56:10):
for reaching out and letting us know what you want
to hear. If you want to have a say in
the topics we discuss in future episodes, you can join
our patreon. You can be the master tay to arm
shee and by every patron gets to vote in an
exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our subjects. So
head on over to patreon dot com slash that aged

(01:56:31):
Well podcast to find out more.

Speaker 2 (01:56:34):
Speaking of which, Erica, some tears in our Patreon come
with thanks from the podcast character. Today we're hearing from two.
We're hearing from Massimo and Mary from the Wedding Planner.

Speaker 1 (01:56:45):
So Massimo again is Justin Chambers' character.

Speaker 2 (01:56:48):
And Mary is Miss Hennifer Lopez.

Speaker 1 (01:56:51):
Miss Jennifer Lopezeh. Gotcha all right? Cool? Cool cool? Huh
oh look here they are here, they are listen. I
don't mind being called here to do some thank you,
but being pair with him.

Speaker 2 (01:57:01):
No, oh, Mary, I thought we were body body again.
I haven't asked you to marry me for two.

Speaker 1 (01:57:07):
Weeks Massimo, I told you we are here to say
thank you to Shanta for being a patron of that age.
Well after that, you make like a bread truck and
haul buns.

Speaker 2 (01:57:17):
I understand the thanking Shanta for being a patron of
that age. Well, but what is a hall buns? This
is like I grab your ass.

Speaker 1 (01:57:24):
No, Massimo, I'm telling you to make like Carrie Bradshaw
and shoe.

Speaker 2 (01:57:29):
But I want to make like carry Bradshawn Sex in
the city.

Speaker 1 (01:57:32):
Massimo. Now I am getting upset. Once we thank Shanta
for being a patron of that age, well you need
to make like Jordan Peel and get out.

Speaker 2 (01:57:40):
Become a respected autour on Oscar nominee. Will you marry
me if I make a movie he's married.

Speaker 1 (01:57:46):
Massimo, I am not marrying you. I am telling you
to make like a thirteen year old boy looking at
a poster of Megan Fox and beat it.

Speaker 2 (01:57:53):
Oh, Megan Fox are shaped in my life.

Speaker 1 (01:57:56):
I cannot take this anymore. I am going to have
to make like the our movie going audience and vanish.

Speaker 2 (01:58:02):
Oh marry Wade. I know we can make this work. Wow, Okay,
he's really holding a torch for her.

Speaker 1 (01:58:09):
There's a lot of pheromones in this room, right, I
feel like there's a lot of perfume and pheromones happening
in this room.

Speaker 2 (01:58:17):
Yeah. Window, Let's open a window, you know. I I
do find myself happy that I'm Italian in Urspanic though
all that I feel, I feel less concerned. All right, Erica,
any final thoughts on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Speaker 1 (01:58:34):
I'm sorry, Paul, I just don't feel the bliss of enlightenment. Instead,
I'm surrounded by endless sorrow and tacos.

Speaker 2 (01:58:47):
That's what Jen said when she got up high.

Speaker 1 (01:58:56):
It's like a really fun, like, uh, popular writer.

Speaker 2 (01:59:01):
I don't know why Dave Barry popped into I love
that I love to hear just came in immediately.

Speaker 1 (01:59:11):
I can't can't be Dave Barry. Has to be someone
a little more inspirational.

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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) - Yearning, Weapons & a Very Angry Girl

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) - Yearning, Weapons & a Very Angry Girl