Ep 353 - Donald Pleasence Double Bill - The Uncanny & House of Usher - The After Movie Diner Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
All right, Alan, you're anext pick a letter four? Nope,
that's a number, right? Yes? Sorry, my bad? Um.
Can I buy a pencil? Youcan buy vowels. So we don't sell
pencils, but you sell voles.Is there some kind of weird pet shops?
Seems a bit extravagant while with thelight some no no, no,
no no a vowels vowels. Look, I can't take any more time with

(00:28):
you, Celia. Oh did Iwin something? No, you didn't win
anything. You've got to guess aletter? Is it a bill? What?
Well? All the letters I getat home of bills, I mean
either that or jump mail trying toget me to buy sex jelly sex jelly.
Yeah, it's like regular jelly.But you know, for sex,

(00:52):
I get tons of mail about that? Is that not normal? Well?
Actually, when I said letter,I meant like from the alphabet the wheel
of fortune. America's game. Ithought that was baseball. No, that's
America's pastime. Huh. I wonderif America also has a hobby. Well,
it certainly doesn't seem to be pickingletters. Why don't we try you,

(01:15):
Jeff at the end, do youwant to pick a letter? No?
I don't know, but it's thepoint of this game. You're on
TV, millions of watching and probablyscreaming of the TV for one of you
to do something exactly pick a letter. Jeff dands like a monkey. Jeff
conformed to the heteronormative Caucasian act ofpicking a goddamn letter and winning some money.

(01:36):
I say, fight the power isthe answer. M Wait, Alan,
are you saying you're picking the letterM? And yes, M,
that's the letter I'm picking. I'msorry. Are you saying M or N?
Feels like you said both? There? Yes? Which one would?
Oh? Hell bells, Venna,Just tell me there's an M or an

(02:00):
in the puzzle. No, there'sthere's both. There's both in them and
in Dina, make that clear?What what? What? What? Both?
Great? Throw them both up there? Then, in fact, turn
over all the letters except the veryfirst letter. Just just let's get on
with us. Okay. Now,does one of the contestants feel like solving

(02:23):
this puzzle? Me? All right, go on, then, Celia Fitchel
movie Diner. No, you haveto solve it, including the letter we
didn't turn over four. All right, that's close. Come on, Vanna,
let's give it to Alan. FourMovie Diner. What's that exactly?

(03:07):
You are listening to the sweet soundsof the Aftermovie Diner, which turned ten
years old in twenty twenty one.Insert suitable sounds of shock and all.
Now, if you enjoy the showand have pursued the recommended treatment from your
medical providers, why not support theshow on Patreon over at pat r e

(03:27):
o n dot com forward slash AftermovieDiner. You can also donate to the
show directly at Aftermovie Diner dot com. Rate and review the show wherever podcasts
are found and rating and reviewing ispossible. Even a one star review provides
useful insights on exactly the sort ofpetty minded and wretched individual who negatively reviews

(03:52):
free entertainment they do not need tobe consuming. And now try to contain
your outrage and yawn. Here isyour host, John Cross. Well,
hello, that's right, I amJohn Cross. Thank you very much Leanna
as always for that beautiful introduction.And I sit here a man well aware

(04:13):
that they have not been many AftermovieDiner episodes in twenty twenty two. I
get it, I get it.It has not been my focus this year.
Other things have taken present. Movinginto a new home recording a ton
of music, which is all availableover on miss Plumbing Fixtures dot bancamp dot

(04:34):
com. I've also performed in acouple of films by the wonderful filmmaking group
Charlie and Farley or Moten Media andShock Marathons, one of which is out
Magic Spot is out. There willbe a Vimeo link in the episode description

(04:54):
of where you can rent and orbuy Magic Spot, but you can also
head over to Motenmedia dot com.That's Emma t n Media dot com and
find the film there. And thenext one will be out sometime in the
spring of next year Boston, Johnny, So look forward to that. But
yeah, after we've be dining apodcasting has not been in the forefront of

(05:16):
my mind, mainly because I reallyjust missed doing it with Jim and going
to the cinema on a Thursday eveningin New York. That was a lot
of fun. But I do rememberdistinctly on the last episode saying, go
on, send us some voicemail,send us some emails, something like that,
let's keep the show going, sendus some stuff. And the reason

(05:39):
why I say send us some stuff, I want to explain this it's not
just because you know, we wantto see that people are still listening,
or we want to feel popular,or we're looking for attention. It is
all those things. It's always allof those things. Human beings, especially
people like myself, need a lotof attention. However, the other reason

(05:59):
Joe socide that I ask for thingslike that is that when we get emails
and when we get voicemails, andwhen we get stuff like that, it
always leads to I think something interestingalways leads to a good discussion. A
lot of jokes are running gag,like the shed thing back in twenty twenty.
You know, I love all that. You know, I've over the

(06:21):
last few years much preferred the jokesand the banter and the running gags and
the interaction with the listeners that Ihave just sitting around talking about film.
I love watching films. I thinkI'm getting a little tired talking about them
in quite the way that I was, But I love, love, love
the platform to be able to talkto listeners here from listeners, interact back

(06:46):
and forth, things like that.So the fact that since I put out
that last episode, which was quitesome weeks ago, now, the fact
that we haven't received anything is Ithink as as good an indication as to
why we should just wrap this showup and be done with it as I

(07:10):
could possibly imagine, you know that, And just just the general lack of
of I don't know, feedback interactiontweets. You know, how long have
I been saying, Hey, yousee me post something on Twitter or Facebook,
just hit the retweet button, orjust hit the share button, or

(07:31):
just hit the like button. Youknow. I tried nicely. I tried
meanly, you know, I,you know, just hit the When I
see your stuff, I share it. And I'm not better. There's not
me being better. Everyone's got abusy life. Social media is a mess.
The world is a mess. Everythingis all over the place, and

(07:56):
I really want to feel that thatthing in Simon. That's as You're right,
the world's a mess. Everything's terrible. Give people something to laugh at,
give people something to listen to,Give them the song and dance numbers
that they so desperately crave, exceptthat no one is craving it, apparently

(08:16):
until last night, when out ofnowhere, I got another voicemail from Marge.
And people who have listened to thelast few episodes know that Marge has
been calling us with all sorts ofinteresting things, whether it's running for politics
or advice or questions about restaurants thatgave her terrible bowel problems. So Marge,

(08:41):
it's become a wonderful running thing.So I shouldn't be two down,
you know what I mean. Ishouldn't be sat here being like you know,
no one's no one's banging on thedoor for more diners, or for
for feedback, or for more runninggags, because little did you know this
whole time, But Marge, theperson leaving the voicemails, there's your running

(09:05):
gag of twenty twenty two. Sonow I feel just incredibly guilty of being
such a misery guts. I shouldbe very thankful. I have lots of
not lots, but I have somereally dedicated people who you know, do
tweet and and do send us stuff, and Marge is one of them.

(09:26):
And so Hail Marge. Marge iswonderful. I am happy to say we
do have one last dinner recording ofJem and I and a diner that was
recorded I think back in March orApril when he visited me in Connecticut.
So that's what you're going to behearing on this episode. It's a Donald

(09:48):
Pleasant double bill, which seems suitablefor horror Toober October Halloween, whatever you
want to call it, the spookyseason, a pleasant stubble bill, and
we have our running gag voicemail fromMarge. So why are you being so
down, John, And why areyou indicating that this might be the last

(10:11):
episode of the Aftermovie Diner. Well, I don't know. I don't know
whether it's in your hands anymore,whether it's in my hands anymore, what
it is. But I'm just lettingyou know this might be the last episode
of the Aftermovie Diner. And Ican't imagine a better way of going out
than with a slight PLoP, likesome sort of hardened bowel movement, dropping

(10:39):
from a great height into a giantswimming pool of indifference. The last episode
of the Aftermovie Diner might very wellbe what you're listening to right now.
So, without further ado, let'splay Marge's voicemail. I don't think the
voicemail jingle is worth We only gotone voicemail, so I don't think we
need to play the jingle. Butlet's play Marge's voicemail and then right after

(11:05):
that, let's hear what could bewhat might be the very last episode of
the Aftermovie Dinner. Thanks for theyears and years and years and years of
listenership, fun, frivolity, theopportunities that doing the Aftermovie Dinner podcast and

(11:28):
website that have opened up to mehave been incredible, once in a lifetime
experiences that I will never ever regretor forget or anything else or ending an
ET. So it's been wonderful,Thank you very much. This should be
more auspicious and a bigger moment,but maybe this is. Maybe this is

(11:52):
perfect, just the way it is, And like every other Dinner episode,
I've already rambled on entirely too long. This is why nobody listens anymore,
and who can blame them? It'sall my fault anyway. Martin's voicemail,
and then a Donald Pleasants double billwith Jim and Me in the familiar confines

(12:13):
of a public diner once again.After two years of pandemics and madness and
political insanity and social media going downthe toilet, and thread of nuclear war
and everything else that's going on rightnow, the world is in an absolute
state, and make no mistake aboutit, it's all your fault. It's

(12:37):
not them. Everyone wants to blamethem. It's not them. It's your
fault. It's our fault. Ifyou want to make a better world,
be that better world. I knowit sounds like some trait poster with an
inspirational quote on the bottom. Stopballyhooing on the internet, says he renting

(13:00):
on his podcast. Stop attacking yourrelatives because they have different opinions than you.
Stop waving flags and marching and insultingpeople and burning stuff and kicking people
and saying stupid things on social media. Just be better. Just be better.

(13:22):
It's all of our faults. It'snot them, it's not the other.
It's not some group of people.We are all that group of people.
And it's easy to pick out thevillains, and it's easy to take
sides, But what really makes adifference is just being better. Just be

(13:45):
a better person, says the manwho is as an at fault and is
entirely subject to all the faults andfoibles that everyone else's. I'm saying it
to myself as well. Anyway,I don't know if this all got to
me. Anyway, it's the lastepisode, so let's just enjoy it,
Madge and then to a Dinah somewherein Connecticut. Thanks for listening. Thank

(14:11):
you. Hi, this is Madgehere, and I'm calling you with a
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(14:31):
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(14:52):
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are you ready to live the lifethat you've always dreamt of, the life
that you've always deserved. Well,when you're ready to live that life,
call me back and I'll help youmake it happen. Good day, all

(15:13):
right? Wow? Oh hello,this this feels strangely familiar and yet weirdly
alien. Hello and welcome to thevery last after Dynamite. So really this
is the very last after movie?Could I could? I could be knocked

(15:35):
down by a polystyrene castle? Right, you could be knocked down by a
polystyrene castle. I think you needto speak a little louder. Fine,
yeah, just a little bit.Do I need to speak a little louder?
Okay, and maybe less less creepilylike creepily I think a bit like
The director was yelling at Oliver Reidand that last movie, Could you Oliver

(16:00):
whisper every lot of the Reid wasnot listening to anything the director had to
say. No, Oliver Reid waswhispering every single line possible. I'm sure
I want so. Yeah. Herewe are in the blue. Here,
We're here. Sorry, I'm sorry, we are here. This is not
the first dinner to be recorded ina Connecticut diner. Done them with j

(16:23):
Mayer, We don't want with JaMay. We did one with you at
a cafe with all the cast ofYeah, window joue gradic glade. If
we didn't thank you, it's justtoo right. Yeah, thank you?
Um should I get Should I?Should I get Russian? I'm not?

(16:44):
Would that be bad? Oh?Why? Because of the wholes were Yeah,
we're a war or whatever. Imean, I don't know what this
is most sausage Brock had to bequite just to order it. Yeah,
nobody's going to care. Freedom onthe Wait a minute, they've they might
call it a freedom of or Ukrainiannot Could I have the could I have
the freedom moment? When they gowhat you just go the Russian? Russian?

(17:07):
Still still understood? Don't don't mentionthe war. I mentioned it once
and I think I, um,oh, they may they may think you're
like an undercover You have got anair of value of like undercover car.
The Russian sparks just with this likethere's like natty sweater and string the Russian

(17:30):
omelett. Could you bring the Russianor bring me Russian omelet and your freedom?
Yes, I am I am goodshoemaker. I live in Pound,
I am American. What what wantsconnect Connecticut? Connect? Listen to my
Connecticut exit Connecticut. Um, Ireally think I'm going to get the Russians
eggs? What are their eggs?Like? What do they do? Good

(17:53):
eggs? What I want? Iknow you've been here? When are they
like running and like, you know, I mean like bad eggs a diner?
They're they're good eggs? All right, I sail the moskin. You're
so weird. I'm not weird.I forgot how weird you. I think
I'd put to the back of mymind just how fucking weird you. Well,
that's why two years away from he'sbeen a blessing? Have we haven't

(18:15):
done this in two years? Twoand a half years. When was the
last time we did? It?Was our last diner episode in personnel?
Yeah? I know? Was it? I don't know. I've got like
I should know. I could lookit up, but I feel like I
remember it's me. It was roundabout Christmas time. Do you want me
to look it up? I couldlook at up. I get it.
I mean I remember we met.Let me look it up. Okay,

(18:37):
I'm just curious. And the lattercan I can I get a latto?
Can someone write in and tell mewhy it's the last ever episode? There's
no writing it. Can I geta latto? Can I get a matter
that's from somewhere? So please emailEnglish or America. I think it's English.
Okay, I feel like it's SimonPeg so years all right, so

(19:07):
the last okay, so this isinteresting, Okay. The last episode you
and I recorded in a diner wasJanuary twenty seventh, The Gentleman the Guy
Richie was awful, but yeah.The last one to be released before we
went on Lockdown, which was alsorecorded in the diner with you, but
recorded a whole year earlier, wasto Come to Daddy with John Latin with

(19:32):
your brother, which was recorded afull year earlier, and it took a
year. I think it might havean episode, but John really listened to
it instead that I was talking abouthow they were building hospitals in China for
this virus and how it was serious, and you were like, no,
that'll be fine, dude, No, that was a whole year before.
There's no way that you were mentioningcoronavirus, like a whole year before.

(19:55):
No, just twenty twenty. Haveyou talking about the Gentleman episode? Yeah?
Yeah, Gentleman, Yeah, obviouslynot. He just got chills when
he heard it. For me justdismissing. No, no, no,
but the idea of like being inthat place just before it all kicked out.
And then the first Quarantine episode wedid was the five films you would

(20:17):
watch on Lockdown, and I betyou haven't watched any other Oh no,
what was I gonna It was alllike the born identity of oh yeah,
yeah yeah. But I think itwas the idea of I'm just gonna get
a bacon cheeseburger deluxe with steak froze, or he's just gonna keep a simple
and I'm going to have a littlething of gravy to dip my French from.

(20:41):
What am I get to my mind? Rushing on the is it?
So? Is it like riding abike? Do you feel like we're just
back at it right away or doyou feel that there's some trepidation to like
live up to get a little bitof glory? Well, I don't necessarily
describe it. I mean it's formsto the format. Live up to the
glory is definitely ended the babe.So what I wanted to banter about first?

(21:07):
Okay, so we have to describeit as banned, No, we
don't have to atalk? Okay,would you like your water boat? Yes,
I would. Is that I geta letter? Is that? Is
that going to be your new catphraser? I think if it's not someone else's,
if I dreamt it, like likePaul McCartney dreamt yesterday and I dreamt
the catch phrase gonna get a latter, It's not a bunch of a cash

(21:30):
as though it just made you soundlike a bit of a it's not.
But you know, I feel likeI'm off to a late career star if
that's my planque with to build thecareer to catch phrases. Yeah, I
feel like, yeah, I mayhave missed the boat. Yeah, I
mean in terms of time and talk. Yeah, I think the talent boat,

(21:51):
I'm real catchphras it's very much leftme standing on the shore pretty heavy
in the memesphere. It's going tobe your catchphrase that goes down in history
as being that was pretty good.That's that's one of my favorite. Yeah,
let's talk about how great I am. I don't think we do that
enough. Well, what I wantedto say was about how great I am.
No, it was, but youhave had in the last few hours

(22:12):
a taste of the Connecticut life thatI'm living I had, Yeah, and
I'm very impressedly thank you. Andas we record, there's one piece of
my Connecticut life that we are thatis that I'm not doing tonight because you're
hearing, because we're recording. Actually, now I'm a bit scared. No,

(22:32):
it's good. It's like a sax. That's that's not a sax.
That okay. So are you aGreasy Pole and the Goats? Yeah,
no, it's not okay. ButI have something that I do every Saturday
night. Now that again that Ithink you're going to it. No,
no, I think you're going tobe like, oh, if if Grossie
was ever going to get to apoint where he was doing this thing,

(22:53):
this is how he should be doingit. So every Saturday night now I
bowl. I go bowling, rightreally, but I go bowling with Jack,
my landlord friend, and patsy Umwith a bunch of people that he
knows, all of whom have nicknames. So I'm on an I'm on a
very ramshackle unofficial bowling team with Cowboy, Slim t J An Amazing Bomb.

(23:22):
That's great. What's your nickname?Well, I don't have one yet.
I've got to develop a nickname.They haven't. Oh, it's just something
that they haven't bequeathed me a nicknameyet. I see. Okay, can
we have a think about that?We can't shot. But how about like
if if Peter bowls, if ifI was going to do anything that is
good, I mean, they wouldn'tget it. But you if you were

(23:44):
to have like a little to starta little spith and be like somebody's yes,
it'd be husbands. That's what itsays. They're all in the same
probably prom or something. I don'tdo. They have prompt in March.
I don't know something I don't know. They're all we are the safe people
because means she's coughing and season sowe're probably going to get COVID. Who

(24:07):
is the woman buying us anyway?No, no, so I was saying
by Peter Bolster, if I wasif I was going to be on a
bowling team in Connecticut with a bunchof ramshackle people between the ages of thirty
five and seventy five, you wouldwant me to be on a team with

(24:30):
Cowboys, Slim, Patsy and JackAn Amazing. I absolutely would. Well
that's now my life, dude.It's really great. Every Saturday night,
so I go bowling with with CowboySlim, Captain Jack, Captain Chat.
I just almost put a straw upmy nose. Captain Jack. I'd call

(24:51):
him captain because he's the captain forteam, but he's the unofficial captain.
He brought us all together to see, did you christ and him Captain Jay?
I did yes? And how didhe take that? He liked that?
Yeah, he always sings the Billyjoels and when I say it,
I'm always like, good job,Captain Jack. And he's always like Captain
Jack will get your hides, andlike he always things things like the rephrase
of the the refrain of the Villards. Very cool, yea, so um

(25:12):
yeah, of course the one nightyou're in Connecticut, I know what the
fuck is. It's got to befrom it's got to be coming. Yeah,
my any worries? Are we inthe palm s No, they're also
all over there, I guess.I mean, there's nothing we can do
to escape. It is one ofit. But funny that we would be

(25:33):
the ones. Can I get acoffee? Okay please? Now? I
want to coffee. I also wantto coffee later and Russian Numa? What
my choice? Right, okay,thank you. I'll have a baked cheese
burger. Can I make the cheeseSwiss? Yeah? And can I have

(25:59):
that the lux with steak fries though? And can I get a side of
brown gravy with that? Okay?Anything else for you? Nope? Water
is good for me as I.So what's Hilarissa we must have done?
I don't know how many. That'ssort of worrying wall afire. I'll get

(26:22):
into as soon as I can.For just meaning that they're probably busy with
all the kids coming in. Willyou stop worrying about everyone else in the
world and worry about me and thisshow? And yeah, right, all
right, all right. Last ever, the last ever episode of The After
is you are going to assassinate me? You keeping a presh me out of

(26:44):
a moving car on our journey back. I was hoping that my bowling story
would be would have had more Iliked the bowling story. I thought you
would have been more impressed. I'mextremely but I'm extreamly used by everything.
I'm just it's massively distracting when likecoachloads of teenagers turn up in the diner
earings. And it's right, butwhat I want you to do is embrace
the idea to get out of allthe nights. You could have come to

(27:07):
Connecticut to do a diner episode.It happened to be the night. You
know, I feel like we're eithera horror movie is going to happen or
it's an episode of the OC.I live in a horror movie. That's
true, you do. I livedown a windy lane. But your house
is really lovely. I mean,don't even though there's no leaves on them,
your wood, the woods don't creepme out. They're very soothing.

(27:30):
They're serene leads. They are serene. But on the most serene works,
the ones that applied the darkest danger. I don't know. Is that a
thing? I I don't know.I just made it. I like it,
You like it. I do likeit. It feels like a good
tagline, you know what it couldbe. You know, at the beginning

(27:52):
of books by established authors, theyhave like a quote and then it's like,
you know mine, like they didbefore the wed One, before the
before the first movie. Yeah,before the Uncanny. That was like,
what was that quite about? Itwas like Ted Hughes, Yeah, right,
well you can have a quote Welcometo a horror film about cats in
Quebec and to introduce it a TedHughes quote, a Ted Hughes quote,

(28:15):
Why not a Wayne Gretzkid quote aboutthe time that he was playing hockey with
cats hockey? Yeah that makes senseto me though it does oh again,
although he again a film that wouldhave benefited from a co producer credit slowing
your way. Yeah, he wasn'ta French Canadian. So who's a good
French Canadian who might be able?Isn't Paul Languire from the Hip? Isn't

(28:37):
he like originally Frenchcanians. I haven'tgot a clue. I'm just going by
his last name. No, Imean, I think that's safe. But
I don't know. I Jerry don'tknow of any famous French Canadians. Okay,
there must be some, right rightright right? I don't know.
We just wouldn't get the programming,you know what I mean. Like,

(28:59):
it's not like one of theids inthe hall was a French Canadian. Kids
in the hall like they were fromthe Toronto areas. Yes, um,
I'm saying if we were French,we won't be like, oh yeah,
these are the same as French Canadians. I'm saying, if you lived in
French Canada, you would see FrenchCanadian programming one would expect. But the
programming that eats its way across theborder, either to North America or to
the UK, is going to beEnglish speaking. Had unless you had a

(29:23):
group like the Transi Hippolo kids inthe Hall that had like the token French
Canadian, we wouldn't know that,do you know what I mean? I
like, even with Letter Kenny,I don't think there's like a French Canadian
character letter or trailer park Boys,there's not, like I'm just saying,
in all of the Canadian exports,there's not like because the French Canadians.

(29:45):
Do you think that would be likean easy I don't know character to put
in somebody, but I don't know. Maybe maybe there's a growl got on,
right, But that's a sketch onkids in the hall. I don't
think they funny. They're playing FrenchCanadians, right. So that's the only
French celerita celebrity I know? Isthis the two fur Trappers in Kids in

(30:07):
the Fur Trappers who go after Amanisues? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
and they are mine the best thing, but the best thing about kids in
the Hall that particular sketch. It'sgot nothing to do with the concept of
the sketch or any of the lines. It's the way Scott Thompson grabs the
rope of the canoe and goes ohand then like hooks it over a post.

(30:30):
It's just that. It's like it'slike the Chicken Lady going to the
strip club. It's only funny forKevin McDonald going two cars, two cat
like. It's the little bits inkids in the halls, just like it's
fucking genius, like the way theyperformed It's not the scripts of the sketches
weren't like on paper, laugh outloud funny the way they performed them.

(30:52):
You're just like, I could watchthis forever. But Scott Thompson going like
looking on the boat even when youknow it's just like this flimsy vote with
a with wheels on the butte,like the way he did it disachieving um.
But yeah, to that character.Why are we talking about French Manada

(31:14):
because Montreal the uncanny. You said, ny, hey, let's talk about
the uncanny. Well, let's let'stalk about the uncanny. But I wanted
to say at the beginning of yournovel or any novel or anything, you
should have you know, the creditslike this is a first pressing blah blah
blah blah. But then you havethe next page that says two, mum,
thanks for all the eggs or whatever. And then the next thing is

(31:37):
the quote you know before then there'slike a a preward or whatever, forward
or whatever, and then you havelike the pre chapter, and then you
have the chapter. Like there's allthese like sections of the book when you're
just like it could begin chapter oneand nobody cares, like you're pre sectioning
all these parts, but nobody couldn't. Anyway, the quote could be the

(31:57):
most serene Tree, hide the darkestof dangers Jonathan Cross, twenty twenty three.
That could be the quote in yourbook. And then people could be
like, oh, what is thebook about, like mysterious trees? And
then the book isn't about that atall. But I did get the book.
I really enjoyed it, but Idon't remembally give about trees and metaphors.

(32:24):
Yeah, the most serene tree,well, they do say if you're
using it as a metaphor the wholelike he was a quiet man lives alone,
but then ends up carving up fifteenchildren or whatever, he ends up
carving up fifteen children. I'm say, why would you say that lovely because
all the children hit I see so, But the quiet man lives alone.

(32:45):
That could be the serene tree thathides the darkest danger, the quiet man
who lives alone. It's a metaphoryourself. I don't think you want to
start with a quote that you madeit and then metaphorically back it up into
one class as far as you know, coming up with an idea for a
novel. Guy, Yeah, it'sprobably. I was just saying, that's

(33:07):
kind of what you were doing.You were staking your artistic future. No,
I would saying this. I wassaying that you should use the quote
in the book, but the bookshould have nothing to do with But then
you said it's a metaphor, andI said, you were saying you want
to run a publishing house where youplay a series of obscure pranks on readers.

(33:27):
Yeah, yeah, I'm all rightwith dad quote pretty heavy in the
meansphere are pretty heavy in the means, And then the rest of the book
has nothing to do with the Internet. You should put that that should be
the first line on your LinkedIn page. Pretty heavy, only heavy in the
means well, I am now theuser experienced manager, especially through the pretty
heavy, pretty heavy the means thankyou very much. You've never had coffee.

(33:53):
We've recorded the donut. I don'tknow how many times I feel I
never had coffee ever, I've hadcoffee. No, we've never had I
have had coffee an English breakfast?Can I get a last say? I
say that all the time. That'sliterally my catchphrase with the canterphrades you just
came up with. Do you thinkthat maybe Simon Peg said in something,

(34:15):
but he did it's mine. We'rehaving a coffee this late at night.
We're going to eat the seed andthen what are we gonna do? Go
home and go to sleep really,or watch another movie or watch another movie
exactly. Okay, I'm not gonnahave any coffee after. I'll laugh through

(34:35):
another movie through sheer, piss andvinegar. What are we gonna well,
let's talk about the movies about it? Very important. You are cutting through
the banter moment. And the wholereason I wanted the banter moment was I
wanted you back on the show.I don't care about We have to be
I know, but we have tobanter about the movie. Well, we
don't. I like the banter aboutour lives. People don't care about the

(34:58):
movie. I don't have one ofthem care about us. I don't care
about us. And the other dayand your fur lined. It's a hoodie
that's also a weird Russell. Whatare those Paddington coats called duffle coats.
So it's like a weird It's likea duffle coat meets a cardigan meets a
hoodie. It's like a trifecta ofcoat. My wife will be this.

(35:21):
I love it. I'm cart.It's even got like a leather patch up.
Yeah, it's got a weird yeah. Yeah, because it's hanging out.
I don't think anyone's ever worn thatin the outback. Okay, it's
very chilly in the outback at night, does it? Yeah? Are you
talking about an outback steakhouse or theactual outbam and the actual outback it's like
a desert and its probably oh no, it probably gets pretty cold at an

(35:43):
outback steakhouse. And right as well, only spiritually. All right, So
the two movies we watched tonight,well, silk sine talking about scene talking
about the art. That's what I'msaying. They talk about the yards,
you're talking about it. You talkingabout the art. So two years ago
we made a blood pack. Twoyears ago it was its birthday. I

(36:06):
mean he had many before that,and a few sins, but it was
a big birthday. I won't tellyou which one, forty fifty. I'm
happy it was. Yeah, itwas fifty. I said, well,
I'll take you. At the time, he was broke. Yeah, I
wasn't that for him. No,you were broke, it brokesh. You
were still struggling under the weight ofNew York and yeah, new York of
being broke. And so I said, well, I'll take you to the

(36:30):
archive because we'd seen Charlie. Iguess quite about the ark about the archive.
Yeah, and we didn't meet Charlie. He was filming to the gas,
but yeah, he he just reallybad. The point is we were
gonna go to the archive and Iwas gonna give him a hundred quid and
he's gonna spend where everyone need,which is his hundred quid, which is
a throwback to Yeah, quarterbacks twotimes one. When we went to Kim's

(36:53):
when it was closing down on thelowery side and you then you definitely had
no money. I definitely had AndI've been get that like a hundred dollar
guest card from work or something orother, like filling out a health survey
or and I gave you the guestcard and you bought well, yeah,
you yeah. And then years laterwhen I lived in the Bronx, we

(37:14):
went to uh the Fye that's right, that's right, and we bought those
people will remember we bought that weirdBritish box set that had three They had
some good beat Robin Askworth films,and yeah, I mean they were obviously
they were terribles. But in termsof us sitting down and watching tarrib Evil
Save Evil Cars a lighthouse, oneof the hospital something or other. Yeah,

(37:37):
and I'm al sure we ever watchedthe third one. I think we
just watched. We didn't be Seminoidwas the third one, that's right,
the alien one. Yeah, Andwe covered all three for and they were
all pretty awkward. I think Taribwas the best one out of the fin
that might House one was the bestone. But Robin Asquith was in those
two. He was in hospital oneof the terrible evil. Yeah, he

(37:59):
was not in in Semino, whichput Qui in Semino was just bad.
So we have this is a Thisis the closing of a trilogy of video
store purchases bearing fruit as a aftermovie diner episode, and this one is

(38:20):
the last ever after Yeah, thelast ever Afternoon and as the last ever
after movie diner episode. We thoughtthat it would work that we watch two
Donald Pleasants movies, one of whichpurchased today, the other one purchased recently,
and I nearly bought it, andthe archive because I was, I

(38:42):
mean, I'm bad. I didn'tobviously now, but but when I found
out that he had it all watchedthat one, well, there was two
things. So we we had wehad to do a vinegar syndrome a blue
ring, because vinegar syndrome and thearchive are entwined. For people who don't
know, the archive is the brickand mortar face of vinegar syndas. Pretty.

(39:04):
They've got they've got books like pulpfiction books. They've got everyone,
they've got laser down, the posters, posters, T shirts, Beta Max.
They about that T shirt, yeah, the shirt which I had another
about the shirts and might look atthe T shirt upstairs. They have vinyl,
both new and second hand. Theyhave CDs. I mean they have

(39:24):
anything media wise physical on a physicalmedia on a three stories building in downtown
Bridgeport. And I picked this bumpface up off the train, drove him
over the archive. We spent aboutan hour mooching in the archive. Um,
but I finally enjoyed. You endedup buying me. I think about

(39:45):
five different blue rays yeah yeah,and I got myself one got another Um.
And one of the ones we boughttoday was The Uncanny Uncanny. I
believe it's the Severn blu Ray editionof The Uncanny, starring Peter Cushing,
Ray mid Land und Pleasant, Yeah, and Samantha Eggar, which people will

(40:10):
know from The Brood, amongst others. Samantha Eggar was the um Donald Pleasance's
bit of stuff, okay in thatthird story. And the other one we
watched was The Fall of the Houseof Usher or just the House of Usher
names was called the House of Ushi, yeah, um from nineteen eighty nine

(40:35):
and then or nineteen eighty eight,starring Oliver Reader, Donald Pleasance and Hum
two very bland American kids. Yes, she was incredibly bland she was incredibly
bland, and he looked like,um, what's his name from Lawn mow

(40:55):
Man, Oh, Jeff Fain.He looked like Jeff Fahey, like you
know how, like the Silvester Stoneand Frank stallone. And then there's like,
um, Patrick Swayzie and Don Swayzie. The guy in this looked like
the Don Swayzee to Jeff Fahey,you know what I mean. He looked

(41:15):
very Faye esque, but he hada ponytail and he was a bit of
a bland twat, yes, buthe was like the bland twat Don Swazie
version of Jeff Fahey. And shelooked like the medical examiner from a mid

(41:35):
ten thousands CBS procedure. Yeah,that's what she looked like. And in
fact she's probably even been that.Yeah, um, because she hasn't done
much after this. She's done abunch of TV shot shit after this.
Um. So let's start with TheUncanny. That was the first one we
watched. Yeah, it was aIt was built on a on a forest

(41:58):
of lies, of lies, aweb of lies. So because somebody thought,
yeah, by the way, Istill maintain it, whoever made this
movie wasn't you'll have to speak loudof me. Yeah, can you not
hear me? I can hear you, but only Jess, so you'll have
to say so. Yeah, Iwas gonna I was actually gonna say at
that point, can you hear me? Like the people would be like the

(42:19):
people who the uncanny you know,the people who are listening to the pop
art right now talk back. Honestly, I was gonna say, can you
hear me? Like that they're fuckingout there like you spent place to sign
on zoom calls for the last yes, two years, yes, because exactly,
and you're like, am I onmute? It's my headphone working,
am I? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? And everyone's
like, we don't want to hearyour bob face? Turn the camera off.

(42:42):
Yeah. Um. So it wasa French, Canadian British co production,
Yeah, where the people without talent. The producer one of the one
of the producers from Americus, whichwas the horror outfit that Peter Cushing worked
for after Hammer and during Hats aswell. Yeah, but not it's not
an americust production noticeably, because Ithink whoever the partner was an Americus.

(43:07):
When we're not, we're not beena part of this. No, this
is awful, but they sell iton the back of like, oh,
one of the producers from Americas.You're like, all right, okay,
and then like a French Canadian produceryou've never heard of anything? Oh you
know, Montreal, Canada. Thatmight be exciting, That's what I was
thinking. But then but then onthe back of the blue ray, and
I really should have read this earlier, but it was like this movie which

(43:31):
website, movie review website you've nevereven heard of, like a movie review
website, even more obscure than aftermoviediner dot com, like like I don't
know, it was like flicks we'vewatched. Dot com says one of the
best killer cat movies ever made.And I was like, oh, that

(43:51):
that's a bit worrying. First ofall, killer cats, that's just ridiculous.
Is that reason why this is oneof the best. It's one of
the made because nobody, nobody thinksthat killer cats are scat No. Now,
okay, but I have a question, question at what point? Yeah,
in the process, Yeah, giventhat the script has no marrit,

(44:14):
no marriage, nobody involved has anytalent, no, And the idea is
that it's people being harassed by cats. Cats three stories, three story being
individually harassed by cat. Horrible people, horrible people being harassed by cat.
Did somebody go yes, yeah this, I'm going to spend the next two

(44:35):
years of my life. Whoever theyare doing this, well, I think
so. I think some. Ithink a lot of people owed, a
lot of people favors, that's thefirst thing. Secondly, because like John
Vernon is in this film for likefive minutes in three separent scenes wearing exactly

(44:59):
the same silk silk scarf and ridiculoushat. I think something else was being
filmed in Montreal at the time theywere able to like pinch some people.
Yeah, probably because what else isthem? But I also think that Peter
Cushing, because this is his thirdportmanteau or what do they call them the

(45:21):
movies, Yeah, Apology behind DoctorHorror's House or Horrible or whatever that I
forget what that's called. The Yeah, the Doctor Asylum is one, you
just say that. No, theSkull is one of them. And I'm
sure there's one called a Silent.There's one called a Silent which was produced
by this guy ye as well.Yeah, and then there's this where and

(45:43):
this is this is true. PeterCushing plays a novelist or just an author.
We don't know whether the inspection ofits supposed to be like fat right,
because he says I was right aboutaliens, claim I wrote about aliens,
and look at what people think aboutaliens and now exactly what they thought
before, which is that they don'texist. And also that also the pyramids
and the pyramid. Yeah, yeah, so I think he's he's sort of

(46:06):
like a fearless investigative novelist exposing thetruth about things that aren't true, things
that aren't true. He comes toray Milland, who I know best from
X the Man with X ray Eyes, which is actually a really good Roger
Corman movie from the sixties movie.Was he in a Hitchcock movie or I

(46:27):
know Raymond from Yeah, he mightbe. I've got a feeling Miland is
in a Hitchcock movie. I don'tknow which one. I've got a feeling
he's in like Topaz or something.Sure, Miland, I know Milan from
what it is very over here thanNo, I wanted the brand ray No,

(46:52):
I don't need Colson and thank you? What are those chips? First?
Take first? He look good,You're Burglar's really good. Yeah,
from jealousy. So Peter Cushing isan author that comes to Raymiland and goes,
cats are trying to take over theworld, right, No, cats

(47:13):
are evil. Cats have taken otherworld. Cats are in charge, and
we don't realize that cats are evil. They're in charge. We don't realize
it. They have come down hereto control us. We think of them
as pets, but really they're incharge, right, to which Raymiland says,
I'm skeptical, but I'll hear youout, which is baffling because anyone

(47:35):
else confronted with a insane, wiryhair Peter Cushing flapping into my house at
night battling about cats, would say, it's lovely to here, Peter,
but it's getting late and I wantedto go to bed. What I like?
I say, he's in He's interested, right, right, but right,
the deal is not done. Yeah, because your book about how cats
are secretly in charge of us,your exposed A very much depends on the

(47:58):
quality of the writing, you knowwhat I mean. I'm interested in your
in publishing a book where you hypothesizethat cats are secretly in charge. But
let's not get ahead of ourselves.So once you're interested in that, you're
kind of throwing your hat in thering. You're either into the content or
got out of my house, younutter. Or But he's given the opportunity

(48:25):
to prove his case by telling threeof the most tedious and improbable tales known
to man that can only be explainedby the actors got to keep their costumes.
I don't know. Like, no, I'm with you on that one.
I think that's why, like Donaldpleasant, even though he's only in

(48:46):
the film for like twelve minutes,fifteen minutes, Thank you very much,
Thank you seemingly got through about ninedifferent outfucking how much good rope normal,
very hard like that, I've meltsin your mouth. I should have a
piece. I might do that.I'll never get excited about toast dining Ladies

(49:14):
Presting Diner Toast on the Last everDinner episode, Jim Wallace gets excited about
Toast sucking out. So my mainproblem here, Ryan start. You know,
you do know any watching the horrormovie and it's about a werewolves and

(49:34):
they don't have any money, andyou know at some point they're going to
have to show the warwelfs, right, and you know it's probably gonna be
a bit crap. Well when thathappens, and it's really crap, you
know, like it's howling to likeball drip spinning with an Alstatian head,
right level of facts, Even thatis better than at the moment of like

(50:00):
the horrific reveal of the monster cuttingto like a cuddly looking cat sitting on
a wardrobe looking disinterested, but withlike bam bam, But it's just a
cat on a wardrobe looking disinterested.That's it. It's not even you know,
do that thing with a cut toa cat gang, you know,
like hissing or whatever. But Ibasically, look, we can do two
hisses is your maximum in a horrormovie, right, You can't keep cutting

(50:22):
to a histy cat. That's gonnaget boring. But the only thing cats
ever do that could reasonably be describedas scary is hissing, because otherwise they
sit there looking bored and disinteresting.That's what cats do. They do two
things. So it's an entire moviewhere at the moment when you're supposed to
cut to a scale, instead youcut to one or between one in three

(50:45):
cats sitting down looking bored and justinteresting. It's fucking weird. So what's
interesting is in most other movies thecats scared, it's like a well known
thing, like when you think Jason'sgoing to burst through the window cat,
We're momentarily startable and then we geton with it. Right, this is

(51:07):
a movie where someone's watched that inanother movie and gone, wait, what
if we make a whole movie thatit's predicated entirely on the cat scare.
Yeah, but let's just go toa Montreal animal shelter and just find regular
cats. Like they don't even manageto get like a particularly menacing looking cat.

(51:28):
Cats can look menacing, yeah yes, but they give come to the
weird faces or whatever. Like thisis like the main one is like a
white, flussy looking, white lookingcat's just looking board and just interested.
I mean, like, this iswhat I'm saying about how the director must
be a psychopost but he must hatepeople and have the lowest opinion of what

(51:52):
is considered entertaining, right, becausenone of it works, literally none of
it works. And yeah, theythought, well this is gonna let's keep
going. They don't even try.No, I'm took filming and editing the
the first you know, relentlessly tdiousepisode. Why they didn't all just go

(52:15):
well, this was a failed effort, which a patterner's end. We should
pack within probably because they fling isnot bad. No cushions, they probably
presumably they had him for half aday and that was it. Cushions incredible
because he's little. How those postsgo are literally able to like stare at

(52:35):
a white, fluffy pussy cat.Right, Yeah, that was the only
the only good better the film wasthe twice repeated Joe where he makes the
claim about a cat that it cutsto the cat's point of end, and
you can hear the go go nowever, and Cushing goes, no, it's
true or whatever, talking to thecat. That's that was funny. That
was good. That was it,And pushing looking out the window will see

(53:00):
two cats like hanging out together,like just on the sidewalk or whatever everything,
And when raymil Ann comes back andhe goes and Raymond An looks out
of the window, it's just hiscat lapped and he's like, there weren't
two cats. That there weren't andyou're like two cats to wait, wait,
I'm sorry, started back, therewere two cats outside. I'm sorry.

(53:23):
That confirms your entirely the cats,two cats, and the cats,
two cats, two cats. Butthe first story of this anthology film is
so already riddled with hops, right, the first one being is there's a
crazy old lady on her deathbed,has a lawyer come in and says,

(53:46):
instead of giving my money to mygood for nothing nephew who's done nothing but
be indifferent about me, I'm goingto give it to my forty eight cats
that I live with it. Sohere's my first problem. How does that
work? Like? Legally, howdoes that work? How do you bequeath
anything to a cat? Like?Legally, that's ridiculous. Secondly, and

(54:10):
the lawyers all like, are yousure I don't want to give you a
nephew anything? Nope, just thecats? All right? Then I'll legally
write that onto a piece of paper. That's the person. Secondly, Once,
if a lawyer was ever confronted withsomeone who had forty five cats and
wanted to give them her fall inheritance, he would call the RSPCA and be

(54:32):
like, this woman is living ina house with forty five cats. That's
a massive health of Beyond that,we're then confronted with the maid and her
nephew played by Sleazy mcslee pencil thinmustache man who was an extra in The
Ripping Yarns One right right, sittingat a cape table being like, I'm

(54:55):
good to be incredibly rich, andtherefore what you have to do it is
steal the other copy of the world, because she steals one copy of the
will out of the guy's back.Yeah, and then it goes go back
and get the other will out ofthe safe because if neither copy of the
will exists, well then it defaultsthe previous world and I get all the

(55:16):
money. And I'm like the lawyersstill like the lawyer remembers writing the will.
It's not like the lawyers go belike, oh, oh you lost
the world. Oh well that Imean, that's we can't enact it there.
But that's not how Will's work.I don't know enough about that.
It might be how Will's work,but I don't know for sure. But
the lawyers right there and he wrote, yeah, but that's true. I'm

(55:38):
sure he would have other method Butthere's things like she needs to steal the
will out of the safe, andhe plied out to wait until she goes
to the ball. But I goto the safe and neckt but no,
she doesn't watch the sleep, andshe gets caught, murders the old lady,
and then all that she needs todo murders the old lady and one
murder. The lady goes, thiswas all your nephew's plan, and I'm

(55:59):
like, it doesn't mean you haveto do it. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. But then all she needsto at that point is pick up a
piece of paper from the door,walk out of the building. That's literally,
that is all she has to do. These are the states right the
one end of the boat to theother story. Here is pick up a
piece of paper, walk out ofthe house. Unfortunately, this is utterly

(56:20):
impossible because of cats. Some cats, some cats who every time she bends
down to pick up a piece ofpaper, scratch her hand and she can
find no solution to the problem ofsome cats scratch like a glove, a
glove wrapping an item of clothing aroundyour hand, kicking them, kicking the
cat. But the whole the wholemovie is predicated on lots of cats are

(56:42):
unsolvable problem. But that's that's simplynot true. Not decide you don't need
to. My favorite bit is stillin terms of like Putter, I don't
give a shitness from a director.Is she's stranded in a room. She
locks the door with like a chatbecause there's some cats outside, and we
cut to them being really disinterested outside. It's like some cats, like eight

(57:06):
cat We're not talking about hundred cats. Got eight cats are kind of milling
around the hallway outside the door.Yeah, oh yeah. And then after
a day, lasting a day,it's like the night and then the following
game, she's starving hungry and there'ssome bread. She used the bread.

(57:28):
Then they cut some other things whereshe's looking through all of the containers,
you can't find any food until it'slike, oh, she's gonna have to
eat the cat food. So sheopens up the lid and then she puts
the cat food on some bread toeating. No, no, just to
eat the bread. You don't needto put is this because you need the

(57:49):
protein? Like, what the fuckare you doing, Jim? Why you
have to understand this bread is verydry? So weird. Also, and
I'm going to spoil the end ofthe movie because watched this movie. The
coda to this movie is Peter Cushingis killed by a bunch of cats,

(58:10):
and then in the background, youhear a dog bark and the cat runs
away, and you're like, right, because we live on a like if
we live on a planet where catshad no natural predators, I might be
able to buy this concept. Butliterally, all you would have to do
is wander down to the same punchup where they got all these puffy cats,

(58:31):
get a fucking dog, and unleashit into the house. Problem solved.
Yeah, to play unless you're talkingabout that, that's true, and
I'm not a printing a muffle,I double stay back or I don't know,
kick a few. That's the otherthing. I would have to say
this as well. Nobody kicks ina movie about lots of evil cats.

(58:52):
And I don't even mean like mutatedcats, just regular tabbot like the evil
ones she has on a bed.It's like this beautiful ginger white like it's
just like a beautiful cat. Likeit's not even particularly evil in any way
at all. But you would thinkcan a movie like that, at some

(59:13):
point someone would grab a cat offits neck, and like when a cat
jumps one, they would grab thecat like throw it or they would kick
it out of the None of thatcantser an animal, but it is murdered
by cats. A cat right inthis film in like three seconds, Yeah,
because that's not it doesn't happen.But whyever it doesn't happen? But

(59:37):
I mean, if we I'm saying, I'm saying, there's no way a
cat right, even it's pause andit's teeth could murder trembody right off the
back in five seconds, even ifyou get if they lay perfectly still anyway,
they fucking sleepid fun. Well thatperson's how did you feel about person?

(01:00:00):
Well? So the three stories arewoman wants from the quick things of
cats. Other woman tries forget thewill multiple cats kill. Everybody's killing me
everybody right, Story number one,Story number watch, and you go,
there must be a way out ofthis, like what I was saying to
Jim is and I think it's theend. Now for something completely different version

(01:00:23):
of the sketch, the movie,the Python movie version of the sketch,
But there's the old milkman joke sketchfrom Monty Python where you know, you
see Carol Cleveland being all seductive andbeckoning your milkman up to her bedroom like
a naughty British housewife, and she'sreally just locking milkman in there and they're

(01:00:44):
all old. And then it cutsto a writer, and I think this
goes into the funniest joke ever writtensketch. I think that's how they blended
together. But it cuts to awriter like Ken Shabby sitting at a table,
and the voiceover just goes and inthe room are lots of milkman,
and some of whom are very old, right, and then he goes on

(01:01:07):
to some other sketch. Right.I just imagine the writer of this movie
like that Ken Shabby character writing thewords, and then she enters the room,
and then the room are many cats, some of whom aren't happy,
you know what I mean? LikeI just saw the writer just be like,

(01:01:29):
what does he want me to do? Killer cats? All right,
I'll say there's lots of cats.There is not a qualified the end of
the movie that says no animals wereharmed with they making this production, because
cats absolutely hard in this movie.They were throwing cats. They were throwing
cats of people. When kutching offthe stuntman falls down the steps at the

(01:01:50):
end, he's like rolling over clearlyliving cats. Yeah. Yeah, for
this piece of ship. The wholeprinciple that Cushing is trying to set up
is that cats are evil and we'redoing their bidding. Yeah, but the
three stories, yeah, are catsfight back? Basically? Yeah, people

(01:02:16):
involved have no imagination or so that'swhat they've done, is they've gone.
But this is why, this iswhy you'd have an author we need we're
making a movie. Where's lots ofstories. Well, I have Cushing as
an author, but what could youwrite a book about her? Cats are
secret in charge? That's cut allright? What the story is giving about?
Well what a horror movies? Clamsin movies with cats? Well,

(01:02:37):
cats take revenge when their owners andmurdered. I've got by nasty people.
So to make three three versions ofthat story, they didn't try and tell
different stories. It's the same versionof every story, right, cat murders
somebody who does their owner rock?Yeah, even though it's got bugger all
to do with cushing thesis. Andthen the second one is it the second

(01:02:58):
one with the second one is alittle girl. Oh, that's the one
that starts off like a Disney movie. And then they hire like every everyone
involved in that story is the worstactor I've ever seen over I don't tell
of them are kids, and let'snot give kids are kicking, but they
dubbed the kid's voice with somebody whocan't act. Let's give kids a kicking
because kids are awful. If thispandemic has proven anything, yeah, it's

(01:03:21):
that everyone fucking hates children. Theirown parents fucking hate them, schools hate
them. Everyone fucking hates children.That's what this pandemic. I feel like
that's a bold play, but I'mnot gonna as it is. Every time
I hear anything, it's like,oh, the fucking children. I'm like,
I'm from glad, I've never hadany anyways. Um. John Grass

(01:03:45):
says everyone hates children, and Boldclaims Twitter goes crazy. You can't say
lames heavy in the memes from youhave been canceled, are no longer heavy
in the memes of it. I'mno longer heavy in the memes. Um,
but I will blame it on myimpual health and I will be govern
a mental health influencer, and Iwill, you know, put Elise,
please don't become a mental health puta lot of inspirational Instagram. I think

(01:04:10):
the world has been throughing us inthe last two years. With that year
becoming a mental health influence By theway, this braving in these potatoes is
kind of this fucking world that Ican't start. Still Buckram with that touch.
It's so good because kind of oneof the chip break break some off
and different. Um So anyway,the second stories old boots, the second

(01:04:31):
one, the second stories awful.We still another the movie to go,
it's pish. What about pleasant?Pleasance was the cleasance and cushion, which
is, to be fair, thereason I bought the movie. Yeah,
yeah, are the only two shininglights in the whole film. Pleasance was
having an apple that is chip.Yeah. The pleasance was having an absolute
form with this film. Yeah,he also did. He was having a

(01:04:55):
lot of fun. He also didn'tknow why it was there. No,
but I think he got to keephis costume. That's what I think it
is. He wanted that silken pajamarome. I think he liked the idea
of playing a handsome cat, becauseI can't believe he's ever ever before or
six played the handsome cat. Butin this he's meant to be like a

(01:05:19):
Errol Flynn type of character. Thoughhe's a portly man from Yorkshire wearing a
ginger too is a bull, pieceof car and a stick on spear of
mustache. Portly yorkshireman with the mustacheis apparently dashing Errol Flynn. The best
thing about the whole movie is thelook. So in the film, Peter

(01:05:43):
Cush sorry Donald Pleasants in his littlesecre, is on a film set making
what seems to be some sort ofeggar Allan Poe inspired swashbuckling movie. They
literally stealed the pit the pendulum andthey do yeah, that's right secret.
And in it it is claimed thatDonald Pleasant swaps out the rubber pendulum with

(01:06:10):
a metal one, where he gota giant metal pendulum from it is not
it is not so any giant metalpendulums lately come to sink the A boalding
Yorkshireman came in and asked me ifI had any metal pendulums. I said,
we've got one left in the back. He literally on a film sound

(01:06:33):
I rendered it so that his wifegets sliced in half in full view of
everyone by his hand. Next scene, there is a police today in the
producer's office who just goes, don'tworry, you can start the film back
up again, goodbye, And that'sit. There's no investigation. Nothing well,

(01:06:55):
I mean that would slow down thecat based revenge that takes place.
And we don't need to any questionsabout how a rather pendulum was swapped for
a metal pendulum. We don't needto knock, We don't need to know.
I mean he needs to ask thatquestion, right, so someone should
have done the screenwriters are preferably.But anyway, we later find out that

(01:07:15):
this film is riddled with plot withprops that are real. But the iron
Maiden is the acts that he triesto attack the cat with his reel and
as if this film has no safetymeasures whatsoever. So anyway, Constance has
done this said killing because he wantsto have it away with his wife's standing.

(01:07:40):
Right. Oh, she deflect theofficial standard. Yeah, and he
played by Samantha Egger. I thoughtshe was already his bit on the side
and he was having bid us.Doesn't make a das he start usedly,
gonna make any differ. Carry on, I'm sorry, but the whole plot
is she looks exactly like his exwife, but younger, that's right,

(01:08:02):
right, And when he tells thechief, when he tells the producer,
he goes she looks just like Mariannaor whatever the name of the woman was,
but younger, and then it cutsto a wide shot and in that
wide shot, Pleasance does his bestlike Sid James carry on like O missus

(01:08:25):
face and Iron He's like, it'sjust like my wife, but younger.
Like he does like this like wideeyed Sid James, which just fucking tickles
me. Pink. That was That'sworth the price of this movie. He's
having a lot of time, He'shaving a lot of fun. Um.
There then a lot of confused sequenceswhere he's trying to girl the cat,

(01:08:46):
which he doesn't seem to be ableto achieve. He does plush some kittens
down the toilet. That was prettygood because they kind of left that unsaid,
but it is pretty clear that heflushed the kitts down the side.
Yeah, he manages to kill hisgirlfriend and said Iron made him prop that
it has real spikes on it,And you're like, if I was on

(01:09:08):
that film set, I'm sorry.Sorry, what you're entrusting the likelihood that
the leading actress will not be killedto the dottery hands of a seventy five
year old. Don't worry. Don'tworry. It can't close and kill people
because he's holding because because the actoris holding a right. Yeah, that's
not how props work. Now,it's not how well written movies work either.

(01:09:31):
In fact, it's not how movieswhere anybody involved. It is putting
in an ounce of asset of effort, and he himself is tortured by his
ex wife's cat. And this,this, this short story was filled with
cat puns. They thought for theclimax of the movie they would save all

(01:09:57):
the cat puns to the end,so you had there's more than one one
way to skin a cat. Andthen what happened? The cat got your
tongue cut to cat dragging tongue acrossthe floor. I mean, genius,
genius level punning by this author,right, yeah, yeah, again,
there's there's literally no way a catcan like cut someone's tongue out, or

(01:10:24):
they could buy to that. Yeah, but if I don't say they can
eat the tongue, but they can'tget into the behind the tongue, make
a knee incision and take the entiretongue out to drag across the floor.
That's like it doesn't have tools forthat, right, unless like the cats
learn how to use scissors. Ijust don't see how this works. But
it's also because you know, ifthey were like mutant cats or rabbit cats,

(01:10:48):
I don't know cats, or likecats that were like infected by something
from a meteor or something. Butit just it doesn't doesn't get past the
fact that it's sort of like whenyou finally see the hand of the Baskerville
and it's obviously a dog with someglow paint, with some glow paint.
Yeah, well that's just a fuckingdog, right, I think I know

(01:11:10):
what we're in that even that isscarier than well because the house cat.
There are scary dogs. I meanyou can like dogs are gentimately scary.
That's true. That's why it's better. But it's still just still disappointed when
you see but you see koo Joe, or you see like a big hound
or a big yeah, like apitball or a rock while or whatever.

(01:11:31):
I mean, like dogs, dogsin real life have been known to kill
people. I am not in disputethat, I'm just saying, just seeling
of disappointed. No one has everimagine that. But instead of cutting to
a reasonably terrifying animal to picking evenif it's an animal you see every day
and it's stead cut to another animyou see every day, sitting quite contentedly
almost ball on a cut on acheck watch out. Well there was the

(01:11:57):
other thing is that they really didn'tthey didn't try to be invent. We
kept saying that the score for thismovie did all the heavy work because every
time it cuts to something that theproducers thought was scary, the composer like
lent on his keyboard. So everytime it cut to a cap, the
composer work like there was like abig like scare cord. And but that

(01:12:19):
kept happening. So it was sortof just relentless nonsense. And you can't
you have to have more than that, you know what I mean, Like,
there has to be more to itthan just there was absolutely nothing to
grab. But coaching and pleasants werebecause he was good at pleasant was having
a ball. You couldn't ask them. Are from the double wig roll for

(01:12:41):
pleasants? Oh yeah, and itand they even he had a wig on
top of a whig. Yeah,he even acknowledged that, right because he
was like coving himself. That wasquite So don't watch watch the Uncanny?
So what it what about? Andthe next one is why is it called
the Uncanny? I haven't got afucking because it's uncanny how ship it is.
You have no idea what I don'tknow. I don't really don't know.
They don't explain it. It's notpart of ten years quote no,

(01:13:04):
which I had to read like threetimes. What I sort of all that
means. Yeah, I didn't readit, and I like ten years.
I don't even know who he is. He was, he was a poet.
He was married to Sylvia Plath.Oh, okay, well you're the
resident after movie done a poet,So that's true. In the I am
the only one. I'm just apoor lyricist. That's true. You,

(01:13:25):
on the other hand, that's true. No, that's fair. You could
have come back and said, I'ma better lyricist than I'm a mediocre lyrist.
You're gonna at least five you're amediocre guy. You're right, you're
a mediocre lyricist. Thanks fair,thank you. That's fair. That's fat.
I acknowledge that wholehearted. A newalbum out now called Nope and another
album out called Snow's Fun Hallo lyricsboth about mediocre. But if you're you

(01:13:50):
know what you're getting anything else?I think probably it for me. Did
away. I kind of wont anotherround of stink frozy. He wanted on
the round of stac prices, right, yeah, can um. So you
want more toast seeing how much youlove but I don't want to And oops,

(01:14:19):
sorry I wasn't ready. I wasbusy pickling some fish. I like
pickling things, fish, vegetables,running shoes. Anyway, apologies, we
sadly have to pause for some ads. Maybe if more of you supported us
on Patreon, but there it is. The aftermovie. Diner doesn't endorse any

(01:14:45):
of these advertisers. We don't evenknow what you're going to hear. It's
forced technical AI wizardry, and don'tfool yourself. None of us are in
control. The robots are coming andthey want to sell insurance. So the
second movie was The House of Russians. And I want you to talk about

(01:15:11):
this one, okay, because Idid a lot of talking and I'm kind
of tired of my own voice.And this is the last ever after the
last ever. Afhould step step upyour game. Your game as well.
But I think the point is thatthis is one of the last ever things.
It's like, yeah, they shouldprobably put out of this missile.
Yeah, I mean, like,we're not going out with a bang here.
This is very much a whimper situation. Yeah, this is very much

(01:15:32):
like a why am the whimper?What do you want for nothing? Two
pleasant movies no one's ever heard ofand nobody cares about exactly. That would
be my nickname on your bowling teamwould be the whimper. You wouldn't be
bum faced. I mean I couldbe dumb faced by you know, quite
like a whim You know what Ishould be? I should be the plumber

(01:15:56):
because the miscellaneous plumbing crusts really busvery much. You making up a nickname
to yourself that sounds cool, thebus boy because of after the movie,
don't diners have buses? Table busses? No, No, I understand.
I just don't think it's very good. Just you shouldn't make up nicknames to

(01:16:19):
yourself, all right, you knowwhat I mean? I do now.
I just feel that's important. Youcan't, all right, anyway, talk
about this down movie, all right? So I hope, by the way,
I hope as we get to themiddle of this episode middle that we're
an hour in that people have missedthis kind of not only this repute but

(01:16:42):
also this background noise everyone. Forthe last two years, I've continued to
do episodes, and all I've heardis, well, I much preferred the
ones that were in the diner.And I'm like, fuck, you've been
a fucking international pandemic going on,and fuck you if you think I'm going
to like, what did you wantme to do? Like just put foley
noise and people clinking shop. Ilike the part were halfway through the podcast

(01:17:06):
you choose to like insult the listof ship. Well, I'm just pissed
that, Like, I tried mydamned hardest to keep the show going,
and all I get is like,Mark's not as good as the ones where
you and Jim bicker like a marriedcouple in a diner with lots of background
noise. So you're saying that theyshould suspend their value judgment. I'm just

(01:17:26):
saying, download an episode more often, You've bastard. That's fair. I
think it's a fair a fair commentto make. Anyway, this is the
last ever episode. No one's listeningto it anyway, carry on, If
they've got this far, I'd beimpressed. Yeah, what was the film
called The House of Usher, TheHouse of Yah. I like the House
of usher. Right, even thoughit was bad, it was very bad.

(01:17:48):
I liked it because somebody thoughts themselves. I think somebody thoughts themselves that
music videos in the eighties don't havea certain kind of spooky um in sit
what's the word like gron gunna,what's the's the phrase that's full of blood?

(01:18:10):
But yeah, yeah, but likethat kind of operatic yea horror kind
of feels him like smoke and likethriller and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, so well we can usethat static right and make a whole actual
No one ever thought that these thesepeople did. That's what they're saying.
They did, know, that's whatlooks like it does. They said,

(01:18:30):
cousin Doug has a run on styrophone. No, that's what the people who
the producer came to and went,listen, we need a haunted castle and
you've got ten quid. Yeah,that's when the cousin Doug has some polistarian
out of the back that yeah,he's already painted all right, Yeah,
he's already painted it blue. Wegot some blue polystarian and some black polestarian
and it's not painted the baths,but you can probably slap it up on

(01:18:53):
the wall and if you want,if you lived in a certain way,
no one would notice. And thedirector was like, oh no, I'm
gonna liked it very bright. Indeed, isn't it meant to be a haunted
castle. It is meant to bea haunted castle. But I'm just going
to do flat television. Look,look, look, this is what this
is what I like about it.Right, It is much much harder to
build a castle out of pistyrene thanit is just a film in a fucking

(01:19:17):
castle. Yeah, you know whatI mean. It is just harder.
So I admire the world. Theway they did it. It wasn't harder.
I mean the way it was.It was they had to They had
like statues and this someone if someonecame to me, right, I'm not
having any bad mouth. They deserveit that they deserved some kind of quid

(01:19:43):
and a room. I'm really hitshepherds and studios make it look like a
castle. I'm not going to hit. I dropped a bunch of acid and
painted a bunch of styrofrons half pastof me. I'm telling you, not
even well painted, just half pastof me. I'm telling you the people
he made the se deserve an awardfor the worst. No, because they
had built something that was an actuallyhad castles and gargoyles and Gothic statues,

(01:20:09):
and it obviously took a lot ofwork to try and make a castle out
of styrify with no money. Itwas bolstal and they could have, they
could have. You got to havemet right, I'm just saying if you
had no money, right, andyou only had polystyrene and he had to
build a castle and you had allno way you do better than this,
no work. No, you coulddo a lot lot worse. Oh I

(01:20:30):
don't know. You could do alot worse. You can, Yes,
you could. No, No,no, I'm telling you. I mean
the only way who do a lotworse? You could give it to a
bunch of add kids with a bunchof fingerpaints and say go and paint that.
I mean, that would be Ithought it was. I thought it
was splendid. No, it was. I thought they worked really really hard.
It came out with something that Whatthey don't get is that in a
music video, yeah, somebody runningdown a polystyrene castle hall like while like

(01:20:57):
depache mode music plays away. Yeahit's right, that's fine because it's just
like two seconds of a musing videoand then you cut to the band,
you know, in some smoky ruinsor whatever. So that's fine, but
you can't have a whole movie rightwhere it's only where you can start.
That's what I'm saying. But that'swhat I liked about it, right.
It was like and where hairs exactly, Like I still don't get the hairdressing,

(01:21:21):
Like, what's the thing the theover the head hair dryer. Yeah,
the over the head hair dry thing, but it's implied. Yeah,
it's implied. She brought it withfrom America from from America for a weekend
of the country and bought except itwasn't in the car. I was in
a small car. And the onlypurpose I could I can only assume they're

(01:21:45):
like, we'll use that later.There's got to be something we can do
with that. And in the end, it was just someone had their head
cut off and they put her inthe chair and put that over. It's
like, oh, go ahead,but you don't. The shock of it
turning around and they're not having ahead is not liked. The bead dryer
rub it like adds nothing to it, and it just it's like castle bed

(01:22:05):
like her room is like there's abig bed, there's some statues, there's
a painting, there's like a weirddressing table. Oh oh oh yeah,
over the corner and over the headnineteen seventies head dryer. It was so
weird, bunkers. I liked it. It was mad. The only thing
I didn't like about it was thatshe was she was awful. She was
awful, and because she's meant tobe the damsel, then the strap.

(01:22:28):
So without going too deep into allthe different plot points, because really,
not like you say that, yougo deeper to that, grab yourselves in,
you're gett met for a bumpy volthe Usher family are beset with illness
and madness. Yeah in a crumblingold English cart. Yes, Two vapid

(01:22:51):
Bland Americans who are somehow related tothem, not to each other, no,
not to each other, but tothe house of Us are coming to
visit their uncle, Roderick played byOliver Reef magnificent, magnificent, he is
gray. As they get close tothe castle, two ghost children appearing,

(01:23:16):
making the ponytail brother of Jenniver explained, never explained, never explained, the
ponytail brother of Jeff Fahey to DonSwazi to Jeffy crashes the car. She
knows he's still alive, but can'tget him out of the car. She

(01:23:38):
runs to the castle. They sedateher, and everyone's very weird. Right.
She's also told that she can't wearbright colors, even though the castle
is bright blue and the stained glassis bright yellow, bright pans, and
he wears bright blue and bright red. So you can't wear bright colors because

(01:24:00):
RODERI it can't handle it unless Isuppose he's wearing them or he's painting the
walls of his castle bright fucking blue. And you can't wear perfume or eat
highly scented food like salt or saltlike salt or salt in your food,
because that will also put food inthe kitchen, right, because she's saying

(01:24:20):
it's pretty black. Yeah, butanyways, I don't want to ge hung
up at the whole se I mean, all of it's weird, ye,
right, Oliver read whispers the wholething. Right. We find he's probably
he's having such a bolt. I'venever seen somebody ham it up with whispers.
I've never seen somebody whisper handle hewas. He was whispering dammon what

(01:24:43):
he was pure whispered damnon. Umdonald Pleasant's places brother friends around the bottom.
So your um donald pleasants credits ismad brother who at first seems to

(01:25:03):
be an invalid who wants to helpthe lady escape, and then later it
turns out to be a crow.He's also, let's not forget, he's
also discovered the I think discovered themore that's still really hard, the solution
to uh, perpetual motion. He'sbasically created a perpetual motion energy machine drill

(01:25:29):
bit yeah, on his hand,which is not plugged into anything. It's
not plugged in anything, and itnever stops, never stops. It's powered
by dramatic necessity. So yeah,he has a drill bit for a hand.
We don't know why, and it'snever a fablished by um and they

(01:25:54):
have entombed the Jeff far he Uglierbrother in a polystyrene tomb, which the
actors make heavy work on. Anytimethey have to pretend to be shifting around
some polist, they all need togo to how to pick up things that
are like the pretender they're heavy school. Oh yeah, either that or they

(01:26:16):
all get an f either that orthey went there. But didn't learn anything.
Yeah, because they all make incrediblyheavy work of trying to convince us
all that what they're trying to moveis stone, even though later in the
movie, an entire stone wall.If we're a suspend belief and believe that
the styrofoam is stone, an entirestone wall falls on top of our heroine

(01:26:42):
to nary a scratch, nary evena reaction, I mean, no response
whatsoever. And in fact, sheis the damsel in distress throughout the movie,
has all sorts of horrible things happenedto her and her boyfriend, Yeah,
barely reacts at any point. Atone point, she runs past the

(01:27:05):
wall that appears to be made outof bin bags and a bunch of hands
burst through the bin bags. Andthat's weird. That because that's suggesting because
thinking about it, there's nothing supernaturalhappening in the house. There is the
ghostly children. Oh yeah, theghost children. But the ghostly children,

(01:27:28):
but where they actually have the line, Oh no, that can't be them.
They've been dead for a hundred years. Again, that's weird, But
I'm saying the house itself is notlike yes, like Jerry, ghost children
turn up And by the way,lead her. They're trying to Actually,
I guess they do lead her toup to boyfriends. I guess that makes

(01:27:50):
sense. They try to help her. Yeah, that's right, even though
they also caused the crash. Yeah, and one of them wears an incredibly
oversized sweater burst yeah. Yeah,a woman. I'm just saying, what
at the end of the movie,like hands burst out of a like weird
membrane in Hines strangling. What thewait, We're not in the haunted house

(01:28:13):
thing. It's me it's a weirdfine, I mean it's fine. It's
all bollows, so that's fine.So it's all pleasants, is having fun,
pleasant, having tons of and Ilike the idea of him being a
mirror. I mean, I don'tknow what happens in the House of Usher,
but I'm as seeming at one pointthey're trapped a man down naked,
so weird, and stick a raton his cop. Yeah. It was

(01:28:38):
so weird to see more pop thanboots in a horror then boots. It
was zero boots, zero boots,and yet we did see rappings well grab
yeah, rat on peters, grapon things. Yeah, And it was
so annoying because later in the movie, you saw a couple of rats going
around, and I really wanted oneof them to be can That would have
been fun. I would have beenthat would have been fine. Yeah again

(01:28:59):
because thanks again that maybe it wouldhave benefit from the co producer credit.
M So how do you how doyou wake place? What do you need
the profit? Because I can't.I can't gather the energy to be positive
about this frock quite sometimes positive.I just I liked I liked the aesthetic

(01:29:19):
of it. I like that theyworked really really hard to try and give
it a unique feel with the polystyreneand the and the aesthetic of the of
the of the paintings and the statues. And they had a really weird statue
at the bottom of the stairs.It was apposically one of those big,
sweeping, like manner how staircases.I feel like it wasn't they have the

(01:29:40):
money, but they had a statueat the bottom of it. There was
it's sort of like, I'm tryingto think of the sculpture, the sculpture,
but it's like a really fat bloke. Yeah. It was meant to
be like one of those Rena songs. Yeah, yeah, but but it
was it was basically a really bigfat bloke, like in the nude showing
off is junk. Go hey,look at this kind of like that was

(01:30:01):
like that was his pose, athis expression, which is just deeply weird.
So stuff like that that I reallyreally like, I thought, Oliver
Reads. I liked to really likethat. Yeah. I liked the statues,
and I like the skulls, thepaintings of the skulls with the snakes
going to the eyes that were clearlypainted the day before. It's been Oh
the secret cript has been here forhydrids of you. Somebody paint your those

(01:30:24):
yesterdays. But they didn't even andthey didn't not lazy, they just didn't
have any time or money. Theydidn't give it. Look, you've got
a day we started filming tomorrow,and the sculls sakes, they didn't even
give the snakes heads. I knowwhat's going to have any time. You've
got no empathy for the set designersthis movie. I have nothing but empathy
for them, and I celebrate ajob well done, even the time constraints

(01:30:45):
and the money budget that they haveno idea what the time constraints of the
money, buddy were. You arehypothesizing based on it. They didn't have
any money, didn't have any money. They had Oliver read and done on.
Oliver Read at this point would haveworked for peanuts as and pleasant.
She's just like, it's a day'swork. I'll do it right. Do
want to get to wear a wig? Right? No money? Hansoms a

(01:31:10):
kind of the Nicolas Page of hisera. Yeah, he wasn't little.
There was like, can I doa day's work? Done this movie?
Can I have ridiculous hair? Yes? And yes done? I'm in your
film. I think that makes sensefor me. Yeah. Um, and
Oliver read, I'm going to whisperhand the whisper. But that's what I

(01:31:30):
mean. Like, the reason Iliked it is that if he doesn't care,
right, then you ham it upand you yell a lot and you
just get it over dog. Youcan't be able to think about it.
But he's doing whispering hand because Ithink he's really he's really trying, but
he's he's having fun, but heis really trying to be but he obviously

(01:31:51):
feels like, well, this isyou know, this is a wispering.
This is an Edgar Allen poem movie. It's like, you know, it's
a classical Ever, what's amazing isthis film director, despite being devoid of
any talent, went on to besure that he is devoid of anything.
I'm not sure that's true. Heis devoid of any I'm not sure that's
true. It's the same filmmaker,but hope, can we just please compare

(01:32:16):
him for no talent? I giveyou the uncanny that there's no talent,
right, but the things with butI will say this, okay, the
uncanny, at least where it counts, had some cinematography, some life,

(01:32:38):
some shadows, some guys. Idon't deny that the cinematography was better on
the first one, maybe only becausethey've obviously filmed outside the very houses,
and it's difficult not to do somethinginteresting with your filming at an actual house.
This was clearly film on a setmade out of Holy Starry and that's
gonna be tough. It's gonna betough to make a film wire out of
Polo star none if you like it, right, I'm not saying, Look,

(01:33:00):
I'm not saying the guy's tannent,heads, but I'm not saying he's
not deficient in several key areas,right right, But I still thought it
was fun. I thought the pacingwas pretty good. I think there were
bits that didn't make any sense,Like do you know what he was Originally
he was an Australian horse wrangler onmovies. Really yeah, and then he

(01:33:23):
moved to the UK and did abunch of TV work, worked with like
early ITV and early BBC stuff onwhatever by all of which, as we
know, back then late sixties earlyseventies TV was massively shunky, shaky sets,
no shadows in the lighting, justtheater lights face because most TV shows

(01:33:45):
were just filmed preseudium stage. It'sjust yeah. And then he does a
film in nineteen seventy eight called Killersnorm he said, the part of which
and I'm not kidding you four escapeLunatics. I like it's so far dressed,
like the characters out of the Clarkoran Ny Rivers think the dream Way.

(01:34:09):
It's nineteen seventy eight out plaster climes, okay, about ten years almost
ten years, yeah, over sixtyeight. I thought it sixteen seventy,
sixty nine, seventy, I thinkit is okay. I thought that was
two thousand and one. It's sixtyeight sixty choruses mid seventies. I could

(01:34:32):
be wrong and probably wrong. You'reusually right these things. It's nineteen seventy
one o'clock or it's felt the difference, nineteen seventy one Clover So yeah,
nineteen seventy eight four escape lunatics dressedsomewhat like Alex and his drugs from Clokans.

(01:34:53):
Think they're dreaming, okay, andcome across a broken down US loads
of schoolgirls, private schoolers. Okay, that's the plot. Okay, that's
okay, and run with right rightokay, And I'm a seeming judging by
the opinion of his direction. Butit's not good. It's entertaining in a

(01:35:18):
nineteen seventies shot on the moors um, you know, an attempt at a
British exploitation grindhouse movie. So it'svery it's grim. You probably wouldn't.
It's like kind of great working,very like raping and workers um, but
like there's weird people who there's weirdpeople. I read a review of it

(01:35:42):
earlier on IMDb where someone was like, of course, there's a moral quandary
at the center of Killer's Moon,which is are the escape lunatics really to
blame if they think they're dreaming?And I'm like, yes, there was
no one else there, like rapingand killing the school children. So anyway,
that's what he that's his calling cardbecause it gets him broiled in the

(01:36:05):
whole British video nasties and all thatkind of stuff. Not that it was
never but this was very not Imean there's a bit and then since heads
like but then, since then it'snot very exploitation. No, since then
he jumps from like bad movie,the bad movie, writes writes on a

(01:36:27):
few films and then decides, youknow, there's been some price Roger Corman,
Edgar Allan Poe films that are consideredyou know, quintessential at this point,
like hammah Readmaye, I guess theother day, like he thinks,
well, hammah remake. He's like, you've got all this, I've got
all this styrofoamies. I'll remake Houseof Rusher and Mask of the Red that

(01:36:54):
I won't know why I'm doing itor how to do it, but I
do have Oliver Read's alcohol like anonymoustelephone number and Donald pleasants will work for
chefs. So how did I feelabout how did so Pleasant? Which was
the better pleasant movie? I meanit's got to be that's trick house of

(01:37:15):
Ussher, Right, Well, what'sthe better movie overall? And what it's
better, what's what's the better pleasure? If you're going to say to people,
which is the better pleasant performance?Oh I'm canny? Really, Yes,
I didn't like him when he's likedancing around with I did like it,
but I also felt like I feltlike i'd seen it. I never

(01:37:36):
seen him play a psychic killer.I felt I felt like, I felt
like I wanted to see more ofhim relishing it. I didn't feel like
he was relishing. I can seethat. I see what you're saying,
because because he goes from being likenext to Oliver Reads, they could have
played it up a little more.I think the whole time middle vision of
your future paper No, No,I mean that was cool. No,

(01:37:58):
the the whole idea of he's likehe's the kindly guy that's gonna like be
her ticket out kind of a thing, right, you know what I mean?
And then oh, it ends upthere he's like actually insane and he's
going to kill everybody. But hewas already kind of like creepy old man
weird to begin with, and likeyou'd have to be nuts there to trust

(01:38:19):
this poke and then the end.Yes, it turns out so there was
a much of a twitter because Ithink the twister is supposed to be Presumably,
but it doesn't make any sacks.No, it's true, because he
says, so, can we talkabout how Oliver's the ending? Oliver Reed
wants the usher line to continue,So his big plot is murder the one

(01:38:41):
person who is continuing the usher line, his nephew. Murder him. I
want the usher line to continue,but murder him, I mean murder yeah,
good point, yeah him, andimpregnate his wife. I mean,
surely that makes sas even though I'ma mad old man riddled with illness in
his seventies, there's no like chancethat this will take you know what I

(01:39:06):
mean. Yeah, there's there's achance I plan can go rock. No,
But I'm just saying, like,yes, men have had children into
their seventies, but not like bloated, illness riddled. I get a headache
every time someone puts salt on myfood. Mad people, You know what
I'm saying is that's a crapshoot.Whereas encouraging the son, I sorry,

(01:39:31):
encouraging the nephew and her to getmarried and have babies. Yeah, that
makes more sense. But killing thenephew and then trying to impregnate her it
was top of monads. But hewants to continue the usher line. Yes,
Pleasant wants to end the usher line, right, Yeah, that's the
that's the thing. However, Pleasantsucceeds in killing the only two people in

(01:39:58):
the house who are not a theusher, the woman and the butler's wife
and heard a child, who havedone nothing to pleasance whatsoever. Yeah,
yeah, that's he could have killedall of He could have killed Alliver,
be honest. I liked it forthe first twenty minutes because I liked the

(01:40:20):
polyst Irene set because it looked likea bad ACDC music. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I liked it. Iliked it. I like this,
I like the sets. I likedum Oliver read. I liked the idea.
I have a very strong what's theword are you reading the refer a
very strong um tolerance from borshow No, hence why you've done this show with

(01:40:49):
a weakness. I have a weaknessfor I mean, weakness is not the
right word, or then maybe itis in the case it's needed. I
mean, looking at very very fondof films where someone comes to a crumbling
mansion wherever, where the family thatlives in it a right, I'm very

(01:41:11):
fond of those movies. And that'swhat this is, right right, all
right? And then for that forthat crumbling actually to be made out of
purple polystyrene, that where clearly alot of effort has been put in in
the same way that you know,but there's something that you admire, like
no effort you don't like, Okay, you know, when you do a
play at school and they have likea proper somewhere and it's got like old

(01:41:33):
props from ye like, and youcan't help but be impressed by even if
it's like a crap polystyrene gargle it, but you still think that's pretty cool.
Somebody made that because of these otherstays. Right, but I'm saying
that, but I'm saying that levelof admiration is what I had for the
set for the high school. You'reright that she's awful. None of these

(01:41:55):
sasies she makes make any sense.The stakes are like that her boyfriend and
is locked up in a graze,but she doesn't really chind anything about it.
From completely off the rails Read's planmakes no sense, and it can
we talk about like what I feltwas so weird and bad and ending that
I could almost feel like the slapmark on my face right right, I

(01:42:20):
also have isn't it like deeply weirdto end the media that way? That?
After the Uncanny? Yeah, thiswas by far the better movie and
more enjoyable to watch. Yes,because once it's true, it just keeps
going. And while it's totally mad, makes no sense, and you can
pick holes in it, and it'sand it's in a crumbling house of polystyrone.
Yeah, right, and you reallywant Oliver Read at the point at

(01:42:41):
the end when the house is completelyfalling apart for him to go curses.
I should not have felt my castleout of polystyrene and postal work, but
I did. So there you go. That's also sinking into a marsh because
it's also apparently the swam castle fromHoly I know. I just said,
you can't, you can't. Youcan't have a movie where one of the
things is like sinking into the swamp. Yeah, because since as you can't

(01:43:04):
help keep thinking about that. Lie. No, that's get the check,
right, I'll get to check.Thank you. Very much. Is that
what we do? We asked thecheck, ye okay, but I paid
for kay? Can we talk aboutthe ending? But it was tons of
fun. The ending doesn't make alook a sense. I just don't get
So the end, she escapes thehouse, the houses on fire, and

(01:43:26):
the right at the end, Redjumps out of the window, and at
that point it cuts to them drivingup to the house, like, there
goes straight ahead. She says,turn around. Women's intuition. Women's intuition.
Yeah, so it goes straight here, women's intuition, let's turn around,
And the kids walk up afterwards smiling, yeah, like, oh,

(01:43:47):
we save them from from that terriblefate, except that they're trying to get
to the house. When they're inthe car. The purpose of them being
in England and in the house isto drive to the house of us.
Yet, so even if what they'resaying is the magical ghost Children somehow turned

(01:44:11):
back time, which like they don'tneed to do because they both list,
oh, no, he died,didn't he? Okay, that's I guess
there's that. But anyway, evenif the ghost children, no, I
think it's meant to imply, yeah, that the whole movie was like the
flash of intuition she had. Fuckoff. Really, yeah, I think

(01:44:33):
it's meant to be that the wholemovie. But she says women's intuition before,
No, I know, But Ithink that the whole movie is meant
to be like the the unerring sensethat she has at the very end of
the movie, where she's like,we probably shouldn't keep going, so let's
just turn around. I think thatthe whole movie is meant to be like
something that happens in her mind thatmakes me can't be true, That can't

(01:44:57):
be right, because that would thatwould make sense if he didn't say women's
intuition the first time. It wouldmake sense in two ways. One if
you didn't say women's intuition the firsttime, because then it's making a point.
Oh, I guess that was alla dreaming. And secondly, if
they weren't trying to even when theyturn around, but that's still trying to
find the house actually happen. Soactually it's a curse, right, They're

(01:45:23):
clearly cursed to keep going back tothis house and had the same thing happened
over and over again, regardless ofthe spooky Victorian dress children in the beginning
and now they're in modern dress,but they're still speaking children and smiling at
saving them from a fate but alsosending them back to It was just weird
because it was Yeah, he editedthe film. He got to nineteen minutes.

(01:45:43):
Yeah, you're right, you're right. It was like, I don't
know how to wait, right,I've got Oliver read jumping through a window
and I have nothing after that.And then he's like, wait, do
we have that alternate take that wehave from the beginning of the movie where
she said thrown around instead of goingstraight on and the editors like, woke
up, don't editor was not towait? And it goes, yeah,
I think I've got something, andhe's that great, just tack that on

(01:46:04):
the end of the movie. Yeah, you're right. And it was like,
because the kids walk, I'm smilingthe director when I don't care,
I'm to get a latter That's whathappened, Can it? Can I get
a latte? I mean, you'reright, you're right, that that's absolutely
what happened. They didn't know howto end it, but it's so that
does actually capstate the whole problem withthe movie that I have to say this.

(01:46:26):
I like the theory. Obviously,this is the and we're in kinnecic.
This is the busiest diner midnight thatI've ever benefit yet. Yeah,
we've definitely come at an unusual time, even without the crumb. People like
tons of people here. Yeah.I was curious about it. I assumed
coming to a diner in rural Connecticutthat would be almost empty, and yet

(01:46:48):
the car park was packed and therewere floats of people. Lady, I
mean it's tried by and then allthe kids started and tried by the freeway.
Some people might fall up to goand a diner rather than gas.
Yeah, I mean the food isterrist it. I got high marks from
the Jim Wallace. Yeah, thetoast was underdeasable. I want there to

(01:47:09):
be a yelled review for this placethat just says the toast was unbelievable,
because that was it. You'd belike, is that good or bad?
Because is it ill? Excuse me, but your toast is unbelievable. Yeah,
you know, I literally can't believe. I can't believe this is toast
that I can't believe it's not toNo. I definitely preferred the House of

(01:47:35):
Russia, and I like the Houseof Russia because it was nun great,
thank you very much, thank youbecause it was complete nuns. I mean,
it was just nuns. I like, I wanted to come here and
watch weird, steepid movies with you. And the first one I could not
stop being like tickles by the factthat not us. You start cutting to

(01:48:01):
pictures of comfortable looking cats on shairs. It's not scaring because but how little
the director care? But obviously itwasn't working. So I was too late.
Now you know what I mean.You see, we've gotta keep going.
We've already invested in Jim and thekiller cat concept. I mean,
it's it's just he's filming it andhe's got to be thinking, well,
this doesn't work right. In noway does this work right? None of

(01:48:25):
this is scary, doesn't care,hates people, hate cinemaan, hates the
art for its taste himself, hehates us, he hates cats. What
okay, Here's here's the burning questionof the name. Because I get white
pleasance, does it? I guesswhy I get white pushing? Does it?
Et cetera, et cetera. Whydo we do it? No?

(01:48:45):
I know why we do? Wehate ourselves and people. We hate.
We hate your ears. We mighthate people more than we hate ourselves,
but we hate ourselves. There's adeep low thing anyway, I get why
most people do. Why did JohnVernon show I don't know staff and a

(01:49:09):
hat I don't know and speaking oflike weird Bolivian accent of Bulgaria, he
was available? But who you flameout to Montreal to appear in three scenes
where he says he's got a thingabout Yeah, I mean, I mean,
I look, I don't discount yourblackmail theory, you know what I

(01:49:32):
mean. I think John Vernon wason the hook to this guy for something.
I think John Vernon you know hehas you know, I don't know
what it is. I honestly don'tknow what it complied. I mean,
I guess My point is is thatI like the first one because the cat
thing never stopped being inexplained. Hehas photographed and I mean of like nude

(01:49:55):
John Vernon with cats with cat Ohto bring it back to a very very
early after movie diner episode, okaywith at Ringler, I see that this
is the last ever episode. Iswe should do our greatest tits? Okay,
and by greatest tens, I'm talkingabout an obscure reference that no one
will remember. Way back when wedid a movie. And I'm going to

(01:50:17):
forget, forget which one it wasyou and me or you and says Franagan
Matt Ringler and I okay, Andin it, John Vernon was in either
a sauna or a hot tub.I can't remember which, but we coined
the phrase the sweaty vernon at thattime. I think this director had photographs

(01:50:40):
on the sweaty Vernon Kree and wasthreatening to unleash them unless he showed up
in a ridiculous trilby hat of silkscarf for five minutes and said three lines
in a bulgaria. It's very weird. It was very weird, the whole
thing, wizard. But that's whyI liked that, because I just I
couldn't stop being surprised by how badthe uncanny ones. The uncanny one,

(01:51:01):
I mean, no, just howbad the idea of watch. And I
cannot, for the life of meremember what happened in the two Little Girl
Middle Story. I can't. Icouldn't tell you what. I could vaguely
remember that it was there. Therewas an airplane that apparently blew up that
was weird. Yeah, it wasall it was all bad and then and

(01:51:21):
then but but I guess my pointis is that it was called what I
wanted us together the archive and findweird movies. And we did that,
and I enjoyed the House of Useither though it was bad, it was
at least well, this is thisis the most similar to finding those three

(01:51:42):
four four British horror movies and stillgamely doing episodes on. Yes, we
gamely did episode on these two pleasantmovies. But the flimsiest of links saying
Donald pleasants was in them. Yeah, but that was enough. Yeah,
it's good enough to me. Yeahright, well should we oh and again
British horror film? Yeah, Imean one was a code. Don't think

(01:52:06):
a baby's bit tracks works? Soshould we put a lid on the last
ever dining? So this is thelast ever after movie, Dina, that's
not it is. It's not itis, it's not it is. I'm
trying to build some controversy. What'sthe controversy? I don't know. The
people won't want it to wear somehow, and they their enthusiasm for our bs

(01:52:30):
will somehow make up. I thinkthat enthusiasm came out with the floe messages.
I know, but I think itjust I don't know. I think
I've lost enthusiasm. Well, you'renot going to get it back by you're
having to fool yourself. I'm gettingback. I would get it back if
people told me how great I wasrepeatedly for like a week. Then I
don't think it's coming back. Itnever happened. So this is the last

(01:52:50):
ever episode. I want to saya huge thank you to you for coming
to Connecticut and doing this, andwe thank you for the unlikely rudder that
steered this wobbly ship low many yearssince the second anniversary eight years um,

(01:53:13):
because I couldn't. I you know, it would have ended a lot sooner
without um. Yeah, I meanI really enjoyed. I want to say
thank you for all the memories thatit gave me over great New York life.
Well yeah, when I when Ithink, when I I mean I
have lots of fund memories about livingin London, obviously, but in terms
of living in New York, definitelythe meeting you once a week, walking

(01:53:38):
for like an hour, like along long way to a cinema down in
the village, like through you know, through multiprough Midtown for fourteenth Union Square,
just you know, especially in thesummer when it's beautiful and those people
out and there were stalls, andit was just fantastic. And then guy
to a cinema watching a weird movieand then finding it even weird a night

(01:54:00):
that was just great. And that'sI consider that a fundamental part of my
whatever, my future is of thatthat period in my life, and I
value it enormously. Yeah, andthank you for doing it. The ears
have to it. Thought I didwas turn up Talk Bollocks and then f
the other one that filled the websiteand added to the episodes and put them
up and did alls have to end? They do? The sixties couldn't have

(01:54:26):
continued, you know what I mean. It's true, very sage, you
know what I mean. It's whyit's one of the reasons I left London
is because I felt like this erahas ended it. And I have to
say that the only the only thing, it's the only thing that I routinely

(01:54:47):
miss about New York is doing ourepisode. Yeah, I don't miss I
don't miss anything else. I occasionallymiss the one the live music that Kim
and I used to go to becausethe neighborhoods we used to live in.
You could either go to like asmall club and see I'm relatively well known

(01:55:11):
but not not crazy well like acult act come through and see like some
good music. Or you could justgo down to a local bar and there
might be like a local band you'venever heard of planet I missed that,
but in general, but not no, not that much like you can get
that elsewhere. That's a young man'sgame to something fair. Lots of cinemas,

(01:55:33):
yeah, showing lots of different weirdmovies where every week you could see
another weird movie in another weird cinema. Or living in the same place where
I am right now, there arethree cinemas within twenty that's good, one
of whom is a big amc oneof whom is like a small two screen

(01:55:54):
local like cinema that shows like oneHollywood and one art house and then the
other one would just reopened in Bethelis like a five screen cinema. And
at the moment they're showing new releasesbecause they want to kind of like but
they want to go back to showinglike indy films. Rare films do double

(01:56:15):
bills that that's very cool. Solike even where I am now, I
haven't lost that place. Well,we could do that next time I come
up. We got your right,Yeah, we should do. They start
showing weird music and then we shouldcome up. I'm not doing mainstream things.
Sometimes I'm seeing mainstream things as times, right, Puss, We've got
the archive. Plus I've got acomment book shot right on my doorstep,
and a second hand record store righton my doorstep, like I've found my

(01:56:39):
things, like I have my Confuteto Comfort sale. So I've not gone
too far from um. But no, I missed that about New York.
UM me too then, But absolutely, And I love the I love the
community, and I love the memoriesthat I have and the friends that I've

(01:56:59):
made doing the podcast, and Ilove the community that we built during the
podcast. But it's time for itto end because without but social media now
is not what it was even threeyears ago, give years, and being

(01:57:23):
on there to try and nurture somecommunity to continue this does me more harm
than good. I can see that. I can see that good, and
I don't really want to be apart of it anymore. That we made
it to ten years, how aboutthat bombshell, how much more to people
on that bombshell, we will endit forever, not really will end it,

(01:57:56):
like the Bourne ultimating what you know, like people going, I hope
they don't make any more of them, And then they did and it was
really good. I love those movies. I love Borne. If you get
to the end of the Born trilogy, you're like, that's that's enough.
Yeah, I don't know, that'senough. Matt Damon fighting with a rolled
up newspaper or whatever in a ina shower statu at or whatever, that's

(01:58:18):
enough. Like no, but threemovies of that, that's enough. Unlike
Taken, where by the second sceneof the second movie, you're like,
oh, this is already too much. I can't believe they're going to go
on and make a third one.The Born ultimatum eked out of its trilogy
and then you're like, good done, And then they made two more.
You're right, well the one theymade they made the prequel with Jeremy Renner.

(01:58:41):
Was that a prequel or was thata It was like it was a
sequel, but it was about within the world of the boy, and
they didn't work because it was allabout like medication and then they then they
did another one with Man Damon,which was just doct I mean the Rnno
one wasn't bad. Actually it wasn'tbad. But I'm ending this. We're
now going off about something. Sorry, The Aftermovie din the Aftermovie Diner is

(01:59:01):
no more and it's going to endas it began in No. We weren't
even a digner for the first episode. It's going to end. It began
irrelevant and smelly, all right,So there it is. There, it
was there, it has been,so I guess right to us, or

(01:59:26):
send us a voicemail to let usknow how you feel about it, or
comment on social or do something likethat. I've only been asking for ten
years, so yeah, So writeto us email Aftermovie Dinner at gmail dot
com or hello at Aftermovie Dina dotcom, call us at three four seven
sixty six nine zero zero five three, or hit me up on any of
the socials wherever the words after movieand Dina are put together. That is

(01:59:48):
me and before we go, Justto let you know, there is a
huge Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures album coming outon November fourth, band Camp Friday,
first Friday of every month till theend of the year. Band camp are
waiving their fees and therefore musicians andartists get more when you purchased the album

(02:00:10):
on that day. It is oneof the large Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures albums that
involves collaborators from across the internet.It's songs that we've been working on for
over a year, so hopefully it'sa really great one. It's not just
one of these ones where I'm puttingout maybe five or six songs a month
for people who are genuine fans ofthe stuff. That this might be something

(02:00:30):
that appeals to a much broader audience. So please do check out Miscellaneous Plumbing
Fixtures, follow misc plumb Fix whereveryou find it on social media's to check
that album out. And the lastthing I'll say is that the big plan
for twenty twenty three and I'm tryingto put this out into the world so
I actually do it because it wasgoing to be one of my plans for
this year. But the big planfor twenty twenty three is that I finally

(02:00:56):
make a movie. Dun Dun,Dun, Dun dance. So do you
really think this is the end ofthe aftermovie diner and are you excited about
me making a movie and do youwant to be involved, Email me,
call me, leave me a voicemail, text me on social all that good
stuff, and I will leave youwith what I think is an appropriate song

(02:01:21):
off the brand new album by MiscellaneousPlumbing Fixtures. No one else has heard
this yet except the collaborators, andthis will be out on November fourth Friday.
Anyway, thanks for the years andyears of support. I love you
all, and ignore all my grumpiness. I'm coming back from the end of

(02:02:02):
a memory and fee gold taste downany enemy, make choices to debrace the
calamity. I'm moving on from thefall of society, verging for the future
and forgetting what might have been bringingall, and I'll put it back together

(02:02:25):
again. I'm coming back. Fumysoon in the headlines funny soon will no
longer put the fire, though you'llsee me try with all of my life.
I'm coming back. I'm coming back, clouding joking. They don't bother

(02:03:05):
me, each taking me choice toimprovide your property can but stuck in your
phony astrology. I'm holding on.If you want to help him him bread
a pension. If you can't standit. He didn't get out of the
kitchen. If you're feeling bread backto let us all pull the Stenson.

(02:03:29):
I'm coming down in the headlight,so the fire by primate all of my
mind. I'm coming back. I'mcoming back. I'm coming back. For

(02:03:59):
me to remember, Retad was told, I take on an enemy, take
good choice of breath. They societyargy for feature together what might have been
breaking, all of kind of putit back together again. Back coming back,

(02:04:30):
coming back, Oh, go back, coming back,

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Ep 353 - Donald Pleasence Double Bill - The Uncanny & House of Usher

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 353 - Donald Pleasence Double Bill - The Uncanny & House of Usher