Season 2 - Ep 16 - The Kiss & Soldier - The After Movie Diner Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yes, that's right. It's the inevitably nonsensical, yet hopefully enjoyable
After Movie Diner Season two. Like all good sequels, in
season two, you can expect us to ramp up the
action or explotives, gratuitous mentions of donald pleasants, and of course,
the requisite nudity. So when you hear.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
This noise moisten, remove your first item of clothing and
make it something good, not just a suck or a
polka dot neckerchief or something. If you enjoy the show
and have pursued the recommended treatment from your medical providers,
why not support the show on Patreon over at p
A t R e o n dot com, forward slash

(00:59):
After Movie Diner, rate and review the show wherever podcasts
are found, and rating and reviewing as possible. Even a
one star review provides useful insights on exactly the sort
of petty minded and wretched individual who negatively reviews free
entertainment they do not need to be consuming. So, without

(01:20):
further dribbling, please put down your Lenen merangues, silence your bowels,
and rub two nearby dogs together for the one, the
only John Cross, How.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Is it with you? The man behind the Moxie, how
are you doing good?

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Good, good? Yeah, it's the weather's getting cooler here. It's
just nice. My nephew is going to school at Rutgers.
He started last week, so he's eighteen. He and a
friend visited Philadelphia on Friday. I got off pretty easy
because I took them out for pizza and it was
kind of a fancier pizza place, but they they just
split a small pizza between the two of them forty bucks.

(02:01):
I was in and out. I was like, Okay, I'm
supposed to be God man, I'm supposed to be like
I think the thing is that they're so new to
college right now, right that they're not out of money yet. No,
in a couple of years, he's gonna come down and
it's gonna be like, yeah, buy me everything, and I'm
just gonna pack it on in a bag and take
it back to school with me.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yeah, but this time, you've got to be cool, laid back,
uncle Matt. And I'm glad you brought it up, Matt,
because I am where. I don't know if you noticed,
but you're obviously wearing your Marxie hat and it's always
wonderful to see when you're podcasting. On the other hand,
like to mess around with my head gear. Sometimes I
wear some, sometimes I don't. Tonight, Matt and the theme

(02:41):
of pizza, it's I mean, it's almost like you knew.
It's almost like it was a perfect segue. This is
one of my favorite it's, weirdly enough, not one of
my favorite pizza places in New York, but my favorite
hat of any pizza place. It's Veto's and my face
favorite thing is it says slices and ices. I just

(03:04):
think that, Matt, if you're gonna have something on a hat.
First of all, the Veto's font phenomenal.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
I love that. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's perfect.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Secondly, slices and ices as a tagline to a pizza place,
I mean that is some That is some fantastic work
by Veto. Whoever it is, I certainly do not veto
that idea, Matt, no ices.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
Is that Italian ice?

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yes? Yeah, yeah, I mean I assume so from a
place called Vita does.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
Here in Philly they call it, well, they call it
water ice, but they proounce it wood rice. And yeah,
it's my friend who what to college with me, who
lives down here as well. He can't handle that term
because it's just like, what is what is ice? If
it's not water, what are you talking about? And I
don't even know where the term came from. Why they
couldn't say Italian I said to say water race?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
But right? I mean, look, people will do funny things, Matt,
and that's okay. I think I've got to the point
where trying to explain to people where they're going wrong
is far behind me because it hasn't worked. In fact,
all that's happened is that people have doubled down on

(04:26):
being wrong. People have just continued to be wronger than
people normally were wrong. People have taken wrongness to a
whole new level of wrong we thought hitherto previously impossible,
But as it is, no every day a new shade
of wrong to be so tained in wrong source and

(04:49):
served up to a customer of wrongness, a customer base
full of wrongness. And that's where we're living. And it
is into this mailstream of madness that we pour the
warm and inviting building and booths of none other than

(05:09):
the After Movie Diner. And tonight, ladies and germs, we
start a new chapter for the Aftermovie Diner. We have
cast off the shackles of sleazy Spader springtime. Just as
the fall has kicked in, it has only taken us
the entire summer. If people are not aware. Right now,

(05:32):
I'm wearing a hoodie. This hoodie actually belongs to a
full top and bottom tracksuit, because I have well and
truly slipped into the idea of my existence. When you
were wearing hoodie and sweatpants that intentionally match because you
bought them as a pair, you're either in an ironic

(05:54):
guy Ritchie movie or you are slipping well into your
middle age. And that's where I am. And I'm not
ashamed of it, though, uh. Nor am I ashamed of
the wonderful coincidence that my green hoodie is matching with
my green hat and the red and white and vetos
is matching with my night Beast T shirt. I did
not intend any of this, but it happened.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
And it's yeah, it's it's it's all the color palette, right,
it is all. Yeah, I'm wearing I don't know if
you can see, I'm wearing my my mister Cellery guy.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
Wilmington Blue Rocks Carolina League Champions, which is no longer
called the Carolina League. Now it's the South Atlantic League.
It's a single a baseball out of Wilmington, Delaware.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
So you've got you've got the T shirt there and
and so how are you a supporter of that particular
team or was it just a case that you went
along with some chums and thought, oh, that show doll too. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
So what happened was I so they they play, you
can take the commuter rail to Wilmington from here, so
obviously in the Phillies play a mile from where we live.
But I was like, you know, I mean kind of
curious about this, this Wilmington team. They have this mister Celery,
this guy in a Celery costume who runs around whenever
they score a run, and it was like his day,
mister Cellary, with the bobblehead and everything. I was like,
I should just go do that, you know. And I

(07:10):
got to take it from my wife and I she
didn't feel up to go, and I was like, Okay,
well I'm just going to go. And I went, and
I was like, this isn't a bad deal. I've only
been one other time since because it is much more
difficult to go there than I mean, to some extent,
it's it's actually, if I take the Amtrak to New York,
it's not that much more difficult. I mean, I guess

(07:31):
the Mets, you gotta take the seven train all the
way out to Queen's. But it's not that much work,
Like it's only that extra subway because I got to
walk a mile from the train station just to get
to where Wilmington is. So it's kind of a weird
idea that it's easier to get to a Yankees or
a Mets game than it is a minor league game
in Wilmington, Delaware. But I guess that's that's the reality.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, I mean, I think people want people to go
to the Yankees or the Mets, whereas the pickle team
are thankful for whoever they get, not the pickle the
Sealary team are thankful for whoever they can get in
the stands. Now. I wish, Matt as you well know,
that we lived in the reverse of that world, because

(08:11):
although I am a Yankees fan and enjoy New York baseball,
I would rather people be going to the Celary team
itself in Wilmington, Delaware, because how how charming, how heartwarming,
how american? Dare I say it, Matt Dare I say it,
how American, the the Selary League and what I want

(08:33):
to know? And I think what all the listeners want
to know, Matt is, did mister Cellery Man have a
song like an accompanying song?

Speaker 4 (08:42):
It's it's Blur song too. It's very original.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh no, no, no, I meant did Celary Man have
like a hey, hey, it's Salary Man. He's running around
doing just what he can now, That's what I mean.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Like whenever they scored a run, right, they play song
too by Blur and he would run out to song too,
so he doesn't get it.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, yeah, isn't that like, yeah, that's disappointing, right he
should have First of all, he should have his own,
mister Salary song right. Second of all, I understand Blur
song too is exciting and vibrant and whatever, but I'm
sorry it was one earth This Blur song too got
to do with baseball at all. I'm disappointed, mister Salary Man,

(09:26):
and I take back my endorsement of your league. Okay,
I'm joking. I have no I have no care.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
Well because the team that plays in Brooklyn, the Cyclones,
they play in the same league as as the cellar.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, as the salaries exactly.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
I guess they're the Blue Rocks. They have a moose
as one mascot, they have the rock as a second one.
But I guess when they took over the field in Wilmington,
they were rooting around and they found this big celery
mascot costume and they were like, well, why don't we
use that for something?

Speaker 3 (09:57):
Okay, now you're putting me off even more because now
they have more mascots than Geico, and I fucking hate
Geico with a passion reserved for child molester's and former president.
But it's it's so enough with enough with multiple mascots,
says the man who has eighty five Instagram accounts for

(10:17):
his various different basically mascots. Anyway, I'm nothing if not
hypocritical yet mildly amusing. But as I said, the Aftermovie Diner,
Matt is entering a new age, the new age of
the aftermovie Diner. And no, it doesn't mean that I'm
going to be doing ASMR for the rest of the show. Wait,

(10:37):
while I just rustle this thing of candis is that
what ASMR? Am I doing? That?

Speaker 5 (10:43):
Right?

Speaker 4 (10:44):
I think it is? They so my wife or someone's
fine once on Instagram it's kind of more of a joke,
but it's like a cat like eating treats or something,
and it says ASMR or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
It's just the difficulty is is that ASMR sounds like
like a sexual practice that is undertaken by swingers in
the seventies. Do you know what I mean? Come around
for another one of those ASMR parties. Vera off we go.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
What's Vetos? You think about Vetos? Like that the other
plate Vetos could be a swingers place in the seventies,
you know Vetos?

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, come on down to Vetos. Haven't met your match yet,
don't worry. We got couples galore. They don't mind who
you are, you know whatever, whatever, sexual pecadillos. If you're
into ASMR, we are fine. Come on down to Vetos,
THESMR lounge right right.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
We got wet all the SMI you want.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Yeah, we got ASML line around. Don't worry about it.
No one shy down here. Come on, get your a,
you s M and your down here right away. That
one can only imagine. But yes, so the new Aftermovie Diner,
which is not an ASMR show, I promise you is

(12:01):
basically the same show it's always been to some extent,
but we're going to go forward, whether with sort of
it's basically all around. It's going to be rather necessarily
talking about like my favorite movies of all time or
going back and talking about popular movies. I'm going to
talk about movies that I haven't seen at all, but

(12:23):
also movies that I probably should have seen, which is
to say, movies that star people that I normally watch
most of the stuff that they're in. But there but
there are movies from those people that are and I
don't mean obscure movies. There are key titles by those

(12:44):
people that I haven't seen, for example. And I'm going
to shock the listening several right now. I'm gonna I'm
gonna make there. This is gonna be the gasp herd
around the world. But I have never seen all of
all of The Great Escape, which is Donald Pleasant says.
It's the film most people know Donald pleasants from until Halloween. Basically,

(13:08):
it's The Great Escape. I've seen enough clips from it
that I'm sure I can tell you what happens in it.
But and I have I've seen like hundreds of clips,
you know, from documentaries and from you know, various different things,
but never seen the whole movie. That is a Donald
Pleasants film that me as the quinc center Donald Pleasants fan.
Considering I've seen the Italian Obscure slasher detective movie Nothing Underneath.

(13:36):
I should probably have seen The Great Escape. I own it,
So maybe that'll be one that we'll talk about down
the road. But Michael Fitzgerald gave me the idea because
a long time lister and avid supporter, he has often
supported us on Patreon. I don't know why other people
don't support us on Patreon. Support us on Patreon, you fox,

(13:58):
does that work? If I threaten you?

Speaker 4 (14:00):
You know, I got my first Patreon episode with MO
so I get to see you know mos the pink microphone.
I think was that the one we had the pink
microphone and the pink microphone.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's the other thing. So yes,
if you subscribe to us on Patreon, not only do
you get it early, so you get the episode several
days early, but you also get the video, the video
which will not be seen anywhere else. I also often,
not always, but often spice in stuff to the video

(14:33):
that you genuinely won't get anywhere else. Also, the video
tends to be completely uncut, so you see all the
blooper spoilers and everything. We on the other hand, the podcast,
on the other hand, I remove certain things from it,
so you get all that. Plus you can get songs
written about you, you can get t shirts, mugs, you

(14:54):
can get your name right out on air, all sorts
of good shit over on the Patreon. So go support
us on Patreon, you fucks. So yeah, we're going forward
with movies by people I really probably should have seen
but haven't, preferably ones that I own, so it makes
it even more ridiculous that I own it but I
haven't seen it. Then we are going to kind of
be also delving into my VHS archive, which is basically

(15:19):
since I started my movie store be Kaid Movie Vault.
Very often, if I was purchasing large boxes of random vhs,
there would be sort of seventy five percent I'd want
to sell, and then twenty five percent where I was like, oh,
bigs the movie, what the hess is bags the movie?
I'd better check out Bakes the movie, for example, So

(15:40):
I often kept back sort of twenty or twenty five
percent and put them in a pile and kind of said, well,
I should watch those, and so the aftermovie that is
going to be a good excuse for me to watch
those and a good excuse for me to get caught
up on movies I really should have seen but haven't,
often starring people that you know that I like prefer
movies that I own. I'm going to shorten it down

(16:02):
to ASMR and we're going to move off from there.
But this is a new age of the aftermovie, Dyna
Matt we are. I'm looking forward to it. It's going
to be easier, simpler, stripped down, but I think I
think covering more interesting fair.

Speaker 4 (16:16):
Yeah, I when when you brought it up to me,
I think there's there's probably you know, a combination depending
on the ones like for example, Great Escape, that's one.
I'm kind of surprised that you haven't, just because that's
one of those ones that was on TV like every weekend.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
It was like, well, that's what I mean is I've
seen a ton of it, like I've impewed into it,
but I've never seen it from start to finish, and
I can put the pieces together in my head. No,
I was always a wearing I'm not a big wartime
movie guy, but I was always a wear Eagles There
chap because I always liked the Eastwood Richard Burton sort

(16:52):
of duo. So I was always a wear Eagles There
kind of fellow. But I yes, I mean, being such
a Donald pleasants fan, I should really see that role
of his because it is such a well known role.
The other pleasance I haven't seen that I probably should
is of course Polanski's cul de Sac, but obviously it
was post a lot of the Polanski Pilava and and

(17:18):
so part of me was like, well, I don't know
what I want to watch that. Yeah, but it's got
pleasance in it. And also, to be honest, as I
slide into middle age, I don't care. I just don't care.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
Yeah, I mean I guess it would be like one
thing and I don't. I totally don't. You just saying
it'd be like it's like if like suddenly like Marvel
announced it, like oh he's going to be doing directing
the second Avengers movie, the two Avengers movies that are
coming out, I'd be like, I don't think Marvel should
be giving that guy tens of millions of dollars to
be making a movie.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
But that would be amazing if my one was just
like we are. After the success of Deadpool and Wolverine,
which was, you know, incredibly graphic, incredibly gory, full of
swear words, completely bizarre and baffling and yet thoroughly enjoyable,
we are now giving the reins over to Marvel, not

(18:08):
just not just one movie, map the whole rains of
the Marvel cinematic universe to Roman Polansky and Woody Allen.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Right exactly with Doctor Doom instead of being Repertady Junior,
but Mel Gibson.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Definitely Mel Gibson and James Woods starring in Woody Allen
and Roman Polanski's Avengers three, written by Louis c. K
and produced by Harvey Weinstein. Also, the world is a terrible, terrible,

(18:47):
terrible fucked up place, and just by listening to this
podcast on your iPhone, you are killing children, so you
know what I mean. So you know, let's let to
keep the pearl plutging to a minimum the Internet. But
it's I think I've said it before on the podcast,
but it's it's you know, I we we we have,

(19:10):
We've talked about the whole like yetty thing right right,
and the fact that at the moment we're like, oh
my god, it cools by water. So well, but we
will find out ten years from now that yeties are
made by fucking murdering otters with a hammer.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yes, yeah, And the only.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Way that you can get the cooling mechanism or whatever
that's in the YETI is by murdering otters, like not
even like you can't even do it gently. You have
to really slaughter the fucking arter with a hammer, and
that's how you get yeties. And everyone will be like wow,
you know.

Speaker 4 (19:41):
Yeah, yeah, one of these days you want to pop
onto Twitter or whatever, you know, and it's going to
be like, yetti is trending, and here it is here,
it is it here.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
It is John that they were that they were murdering otters.
John Nailed It podcast. John Cross five years ago, in
a Simpson's esque prediction of things to come, called it
that yettier bastards.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
That's gonna be the box article that they're going to
track down this episode. They're going to be like, you know,
September third, you know what, right, right, podcaster John Cross?
You know who would have thought that? Two years later,
we you know.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
Podcaster John Cross was also seen wearing a Veto Slices
and ICE's cap from New York City. What he didn't know,
or maybe he did, was that Vito's was a front
for a money laundering society of Italian Americans and that
the ices were ice picks in the hearts of children. Tonight,

(20:45):
David Miwa looks at fucking David Muir. Tonight, David Muir
looks in the mirror for forty five minutes and goes, Oh,
I have wonderful hair. Put me in a war zone
so that my wonderful hair can blow in the wind.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
What is David Murr. It's like they pulled him out
of a PM entertainment He's like he's like the lawyer
in it in a one scene part of a PM
entertainment movie where like, like the cops are tracking somebody
down and they go to this beautiful office that they
somehow got like out of silk stockings or something. He's
got like the double breasted suit with the glasses and
the hair and and you know, Jack Scalia questions him

(21:22):
for five minutes, and that's his one scene. Somehow he
became the anchor of one of the three major broadcast news.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah, he looks like a guy who plays a sleazy
lawyer in a Caspa Van Dien movie. Yes, you know
what I mean, either that or like this the lead henchman. Yes,
like you've got the original bad guy who's like Joe
dun Baker or someone you know what I mean, am well,
someone with three names anyway, and then lou Diamond Phillips

(21:54):
or whatever. And then you have the first henchman who's
always coming over with like airpiece and his you know,
like a little customer service airpiece on his ear to
come home and be like, sir, the trucks frem position
whoever it is, you know exactly. And that's that's what
David Muhle looks like. For people who don't know David Muir,

(22:15):
don't google him. It'll just encourage David Muir's And I've
had enough of him, So don't google David Muir. Just
take it for granted that you'll be encouraging the MUA
And I've got no time for him.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Look, because it seems to be that like the person
that was like the anchor of the news was something
I guess maybe that's I'm so out of touch with
like I don't know, say, mainstream media, but like you that,
I guess like a guy like that could sneak in right,
and you know, like he wasn't. I mean, was he
a White House correspondent sometimes or right? Or was it
really They just pulled him off the set of a
PM Entertainment movie the nineties and plugged him down in

(22:48):
twenty twenty four whatever and said here you go.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah. The head of the Disney Corporation was like, You'll
never believe why I saw in one of our subsidiary
subsidiary subsidiary partly owned sort of whatever company PM Entertainment,
what is that hair? Disney? Well, so a guy playing
this lawyer? I want him on my news network stack

(23:11):
all right, but yeah, no, it's I don't know where
muer comes from, nor do I care to and to
you know, figure it out. What I will say is
it's really bizarre. Even big icons like Oprah Winfrey or
Jerry Springer or whatever, who, by the way, are exactly
the same kind of person. How Oprah Winfrey got this
angelic fucking reputation and Jerry Springer is considered the pederal

(23:35):
of filth. You're both fucking pedaled for Oprah Winfrey pedaled
people's emotions and bullshit as her own fucking currency, and
never ever forget it this, Oh Oprah speaks for us.
Oprah's the Queen, Oprah's God. I'm sorry, Oprah is an
opportunist who fucking milked Middle America for everything it was worth.

(23:55):
So don't fucking act like Oprah anyway. John Cross doesn't
like Oprah Winfrey but will support Child. Also suggests that
you should go throw out his wide stead collection. Also
is wearing a money launderer's hat. Also says to listen
to his podcast on a device that kills children. Tonight

(24:17):
on David Muir, he's no fan of mine either. No,
there's something to do with the way that David Muir
is he. I can tell you know when someone's trying
to pretend to be genuine, right, when someone comes up
to you and they're like, now listen, Matt, I genuinely

(24:38):
care or something like that. Wait, I'm smelling your bullshit
of fucking mile.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
Away, right.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
People who are overly earnest, people who have no like
they have no irony gland that they're just they're just like, oh,
you know, they'll see someone fall over or whatever in
a funny way, you know what I mean, Like a
truckload of banana's capsizing, right, and someone walking along just
does a ridiculous big slip lands on the bananas. Is

(25:08):
perfectly safe, but you laugh. There's always that one person
who goes, yes, you are laughing, but have you not
considered that they might be hurt? Those sort of people, right,
I find to be the most disingenuous, lying, possibly psychotic people.
And David Muir is that person. Because when I watch

(25:30):
David Muhr report on something very serious, he has a
face that he goes into. He's like, behold my furrowed
brow of worry, like he puts it on. And once
he's put that face on, I can't believe anything that
comes out of his mouth, because what all I hear
in his head, all that's going around and around his

(25:52):
head is I'm David Muir and I'm damn important. I'm
David Muir and I'm damn important. Like that's all that's
going on in his head. Meanwhile he's being like thousands
die in hurricane, I'm David Muir and I'm damn important.

Speaker 4 (26:08):
Right, yeah, yeah, it is, like yeah, he does's like
on the scene at the hurricane is you know, and
he's like, it's just like you said, it's that face
of just like oh so smackable, right, and it's just
like okay, all right because because it's it's exactly the
face of you're not getting this brief, Jack Scalia, no
matter what you ad, you know, and then finally, yes,

(26:29):
I'll hand it over to you, Jack. I mean it's
like yes, yeah, And.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
It's a sort of bad acting that one, you know,
one would see in a Jack Scalia movie, even though
Jack Scalia is wonderful and we love Jack Scalia. Often
the subsidiary characters in the PM Entertainment were not pulled
or sorry, pulled from a pool of extreme talent.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
They were pulled from local cafes and restaurants. That's generally
where they is. We were joking Chris Kevinski from Bulletproof.
We were doing watching Sweepers and Janet gunn is wearing
a waitress outfit because she's supposed to be co owning
a restaurant with her new husband, and we were joking
that no, she was just being pulled between shifts. It
was like, hey, can you can you come to a
scene here on my shift at the restaurant. Just stay

(27:14):
dressed in the that's fine.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
You just say no, Jack, don't go in there, and
then run away. I think I can manage that. But yes,
exactly so, I do not believe David Muir. I do, however,
believe that the world is just a absolute hideous place,
because just by living in it, you are culpable. If

(27:36):
you've eaten food, you are culpable. If you have an
iPhone you are culpable. If you've driven a car, you are.
So there's no We're all tainted, Matt. We're all tainted.
As I said earlier before, we are doing movies that
are from my VHS archive and from actors and filmmakers
who I really should have seen something of but have not,

(27:59):
And so tonight bizarre yet I think, wonderfully over the
top and ridiculous. Double act is The Kiss from nineteen
eighty eight. This is a VHS classic, but also Matt
fits into both categories because it also stars Meredith Salinger.

(28:21):
I'm something of a fan. I've seen a lot of
her work. I've not seen The Kiss, so it sort
of falls in both camps. And then following up from
the kiss. It is for Michael Fitzgerald, a supporter of
the podcast and someone who's requested this for many years.
It is Kurt Russell in the movie Soldier. So Matt,

(28:43):
we will start with the kiss. What knoweth you of
Meredith Salinger? Anything or nothing? I found out that she's
married to Pat and Oswald. That's the only thing I knew.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
So I discovered that I thought I had recognized her
from other stuff. But I actually don't, you know, like
I don't know. I mean, I'm sure you know I've
seen some of the other stuff that she's done.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
But yeah, She's famous for a Disney movie called The
Journey of Natti Gan, which is our dog is named
after that movie. Kim is a big fan when she
was a child actor. She also is well known for Dream,
A Little Dream, that's the one that's Too Cory's movie. Yeah,
and she was in John Carpenter's remake of Village of

(29:28):
the Damned, which, while not very good, at least she
can claim to Patnell's rold a big fan of John Carpenter. Hey, honey,
you know that I've been in a John Carpenter movie.
And he'll get all excited and aroused, not that I
want to think of Patnell's well being aroused, but he
would get all aroused. Really, you're in a John Carpenter movie.
You're in a John Carboner movie, and just before the

(29:52):
moment of truth, she's gonna whisper it was Village of
the Damned, and he is going to completely deflate and
not be aroused any longer because it's Look, she gets
to say she was in a John Carpeter movie. Good
for her, but but no, it's it's it's not one
of his better ones. So yeah, she's known for the
Journey of Natty Gan. She is known for a Night

(30:14):
in the Life of Jimmy Riddan with I was gonna
say with with wings House, I just have wings House
on the break, River Phoenix is what I meant to say,
And she was. She was good friends with the River Phoenix,
so clearly they hit it off on that movie The Kiss,

(30:38):
which were covering today from nineteen eighty eight, followed up
by Dream A Little Dream with the Cory's, followed up
by she went for a second helping of fell Dog.
She went for a second helping of Corey Feldman while
he was deep in the throes of Heroin withdrawals. She
made the nineteen ninety one kids action classic, because we

(31:02):
love it when kids have to grab weapons and murder adults,
especially around the late eighties early nineties. There is any
number of great movies in which that has to happen,
a lot of which we covered on this show with
Scott Toomey in our Teen Agents and Kids By episode

(31:24):
earlier last year. But so Edgevonna. She was in an
episode from Tales from the Crypt. She was a Village
of the Damned, and then since then sort of darted
around TV a little bit. She is in a movie
that has got to be one that you've either covered
or have to cover soon, and that is No Code
of Conduct. Oh yeah, with Charlie and Martin Sheen and

(31:46):
Mark Dacascos.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
Yes, yes, I have done that. One I've done that
is that's not the one that was No, that was
Letters from Death Bros. I think it was so it
was like they were making these movies with Brett Michaels
from Up Poison. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, I've definitely done
because yeah it's Charles Sheen, I believe for No Code
of Conduct, he went Charles instead of Charles.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Yes, the series, it's Uh, it's it's Charles Sheen and
Martin Sheen and Mark Dekaskos, along with Paul Gleeson, Courtney Gains,
Joe Estevez, Martin's weapon, his brother in there, Meredith Salinger,
Bret Michaels lead sing of poison, and so it's I

(32:30):
mean know, it's got it's got quite a cast. It's
a cop. His partner and his father uncover a plot
by city elders to smuggle drugs from Mexico into Phoenix, Arizona.
When the crime is personal, there are no rules.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
His nine critic reviews, in four of them are me
bulletproof come up in the video Vacuum. It's like kind
of it's like, that's like what I call the super effect.
It seems like the four of us somehow get like,
you know, like these move. It's yeah, it's some other
four of us seem to get them a lot. And
that's one of the ones that like, yeah, like the
other ones were like TV Guide, I don't know what

(33:08):
you know. Yeah, it's a it, But I don't know
what I said on my review for it. I'm sure
I wasn't kind to it. I'm sure I definitely jokes
about it.

Speaker 5 (33:19):
I was, like.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
I said, I said, always said all that talent, which
I guess I should have probably put that in quotes,
but in very comments, but I didn't. Dum and the
best you can do is bore me to sleep for
the first forty five minutes and barely make up for
it with a decent half hour. That's so I guess that. Yeah,
I am. Yeah, there wasn't a lot that happened in
that first forty five minutes, unfortunately apparently not.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Meredith Salager would then go on to be in Lake Placid.
People might remember her from the brit Founder Bill Pullman
and all of a Platt starring Lake Placid and when
she plays Demputy Sharon Geh. Then she's in a bunch
of TV things. She shows up on an episode of
Dawson's Creek, she shows up on an episode of Anger

(34:05):
Management back with her old pal Charles Sheen. She's a
mad TV she was in Gray's Anatomy. She's She's basically
skipped around TV for the last few years and is
now known as bariss Offie on Star Wars Tales of
the Empire, the animated series. So that is a quick

(34:26):
history of Meredith Salinger. I actually like it. I actually
think that she's obviously she's very beautiful, so there's there's
there's that that goes without saying a very attractive woman.
But I actually think a really good actress, and I
actually think someone who could have had or could have
been given a lot more of her do and and

(34:47):
gone on to do some really interesting adult work I think.
And by adult work, I mean as work as an adult,
not as in adult adult work. Sema is adult work.
Don't try this at home children. So yes, married a

(35:08):
Salinger brains, beauty and brawn, Matt a lethal three for combination.
And so I was excited as I had I had
had two experiences where first one was Edge of Honor,
where that was one of the vhs that cropped up
in a box and I was like, oh, I don't

(35:29):
know what that is. Oh wait, it's got Fildman in it.
Oh wait, it's got married A Sallenger in it. And
I watched that and I believe I gave it a
respectable I think probably three or three and a half
half letter box. I pretty enjoyed it. It's something of
an oddity in the kid's fight crime kind of movie
of the era, but well worth watching and definitely as

(35:51):
sort of if there's anything that typifies VHS, it's movies
like Edge of Anna and movies like The Kiss. This
was the second VHS tape that I had plunged into
starring Medisanja. And I don't know about you, Matt, I'm
gonna I'm gonna jump in and just say I was
not disappointed. In fact, I was. I was as I

(36:13):
was with Edge Evona thrilled. Matt. Did you have fun
with this movie? Uh? And uh? And and what did
you feel when I asked you to cover U bizarre
la ladies horror movies such as this?

Speaker 4 (36:25):
So initially, right when I was initially watching it, I
had kind of a similar feeling that I get when
I'm on the subway and there's a person sitting next
to me just like yelling and being just overall making
me uncomfortable. Yes, But once I kind of was able
to kind of get over that and realize the fact
that this is the movie, So this is not somebody
just sitting next to me that I've got to get
through the next four stops before I get to my
You know that I can just sort of ease into it.

(36:45):
I could kind of like relax and let that that
feeling go and just sort of let this thing be
what it was, and it it. It is one of
those ones that like, yeah it it like you said,
it is a fun ride. When when it gets going,
when when you realize that that person sitting actually not
gonna bother you, that they're on the other side of
a screen and they can't touch you, then it's like, Okay,

(37:07):
now I can sort of let this thing be what
it's gonna be. And and the payoff at the end
is is like if you make it to the end
of the movie, that payoff just it's fantastic.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's It's so it's definitely one of
those movies that builds right but even while it's building,
and this is what I found kind of remarkable. So
I agree. The first fifteen minutes or whatever before the
big car accident, Yeah, fifteen twenty minutes you're watching it,
you're going, oh, this is gonna be one of those

(37:39):
straight to VHS movies where no real horror happens and
nothing really of any consequence happens, and it's just gonna
tease me that it's going to be about passing a
curse via a kiss from a thing. It's gonna tease me,
but really it's gonna be like a lifetime movie about
bad step mothers and you're just gonna hate yourself at
the end of it. Right, the first fifteen minutes definitely

(38:01):
plays like that. Spoilers, spoilers, what's coming up with spalls
and a prod the Smilers songs.

Speaker 5 (38:20):
Because I don't want you to have the film ruined
as I go on.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
And on film with spoilers, spoilers, spoilers.

Speaker 5 (38:37):
What's coming up in spoil and I want you to
see the movie clean because it is a very.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Good movie and if the spiders before you watch it,
it won't have the impact it had for me, Or
maybe you're someone who doesn't care about spoilers. I believe

(39:08):
there are those people out there that if your a
person who.

Speaker 5 (39:17):
Doesn't care about spoilers, will get for you.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
But this movie was such a surprise for me that
I want everybody else to see the movie the way
that I saw the movie. It was a surprise, and
I think this film would better fit from all of

(39:44):
you going and watching it before you listen to the
rest of the spoilerific episode episode because.

Speaker 5 (39:54):
Spoilers, spoilers, what's coming up?

Speaker 3 (40:00):
Spoil So I put the spoilers song. If you've been
listening to this podcast all along, you'll remember when it
started and I cared more than I do now. I
used to do spoiler songs on the ukulele and lots
of people loved it. Well, now I'm bringing it back

(40:23):
because I want you to watch this movie, The Kiss,
starring Meryordith salin Ja. Then out of the bullet like
you were just like, wait, I was not expecting this
movie to have this fucking scene in it, right. They
have a massive car wreck engineered by this evil woman

(40:47):
in the life of Marina Salinger, who is purported to
be a mother's sister but is possessed by a demon
slug as you as you are. It's got something to
do with some ritual or whatever she's trying to pass
down to Meredithsalinger, but merediths having none of it. None
of it. Matt. Anyway you're watching it, you're like, all right,

(41:07):
trunneling along, come on, going with that lifetime movie. Lifetime movie.
And then they murder the mother because the mother's got
to get out of the way because the saltry aunt
demon slug woman has got to come and ooze her
way into the husband's life so that she can pass
on her disgusting slug aids to a niece. But what

(41:28):
actually happens is there is this massive car wreck where
we see this woman slammed by another truck, then pushed
into a building. Then we see her underneath the car
like blooded and mangled, and when they pull her out,
one of her legs stays there and you're like, I'm

(41:49):
sorry to spoil it, By the way, I'm spoiling a
movie from.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
You can't talk about this movie without spoiling it.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
You have to spoil it because the best bits of
this movie are the bits where you're like, I did
not I want to see that coming in this movie.
This movie is like a lifetime in Loudy Dotty Dotty Do.
Then someday I'm seeing amputated legs. Yes, yeah, it was wonderful,
and congratulations to the special effects of its funny hell
what right work?

Speaker 4 (42:14):
I mean. The thing about that the freak out a
little bit is that the way people drive here in Philadelphia.
I was like, I'm gonna try to make sure I'm
not anywhere close to walls when I'm walking, I'm gonna
try to stay kind of more towards you know, so
so if the car does come and hit me on
the sidewalk, I'm gonna I can kind of fly over
the hood and not get pinned and lose limbs. I
think that's that That was the lesson that I took

(42:35):
from it, because, yeah, driving in Philadelphia. I was teaching
my nephew and his friend about this on Friday when
they visited that. I was like, yeah, just keep in
mind that aggressive drivings encouraged in Philadelphia. But so so
give me a little bit that was a little bit
like I was a little like, oh boy, yeah, getting
getting hit by car, I don't I don't want to,
you know. But then you're right, You're like you think
she's just gonna get hit by in the car, and
then like you know, the next thing, we're gonna cut

(42:56):
to the hospital and she's gonna have the tubes and
the beeping, and then you know, and no, and then
it's like, okay, there's gonna be this like explosion thing.
It's like, okay, is that gonna be the thing? And
it's like no, it's the And then.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
It's gonna be by the way, your mom is just
fucking dead. She's just dead. Yeah, she's dead, right, So
and you're just like okay, and and then her and
is a mum's sister right to be your mom's sister?
Or is he meant to be a mom's long lost friend?

Speaker 4 (43:21):
No, no, it's her sister. Yeah, Joanna Paculus is the younger sister.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
Yeah, okay. And who's Mimi Couzy then?

Speaker 4 (43:28):
So Mimi Koozy is the friend from next door who
I've read. I think the deal is is like her
husband is never around, right, and so she has sort
of become like this. She was almost like kind of
a friendly aunt. She's like a yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yes, okay, so yeah, so you're completely right. So Joanna
Pacla is meant to be the sister, and she is
a sultry sex minx in which, in fact, if you
go into IMDb now, IMDb does an interesting thing. It
plays the trailer for the movie that looking up in
the little window at the top, but then once that's finished,
it starts to play the trailer for movies other movies

(44:07):
that star the cast. Yeap and the first because she's
number one of the thing. The first four trailers while
I was sat talking to you earlier about that were
playing because I've got IMDb up on the screen here.
That were playing while I was watching were all Joanna
Pacula movies and they're all like sleazy, salty, oh, alluring woman.

(44:29):
You know. They were all movies like that, like lots
of silk and lots of shadows and lots of She's
an alluring woman, and men who looked like David Muir
perplexed by Johanna Pacla's beauty and seduction techniques. All of
the movies were that, and I was like, Wow, Pacula

(44:49):
really had a had a type.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
She Apparently she has done a new movie with Cynthia
Rothrock that hasn't been released or it's been released somewhere
that I don't know where where it's been released. It's
called Buckle Up. This is the thing with Rothrock's career,
her current career, is that she just makes these movies
that never make it anywhere. And this, I mean, it's

(45:13):
got size more, it's got biling, it's got Eric Roberts,
it's just you know, Robert Dobby Stay.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Tom Sizemore pass Away.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
He did right it came out after he passed. Yeah,
he made it before he passes.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
It's got Eric Roberts. Only ten people have seen it.
It looks like a movie that was filmed entirely against
green screen, right right?

Speaker 4 (45:31):
I think so yeah, it's I don't know what the
deal is. I don't know. Again, it is Rothrock. It
seems like she just makes these movies that never they
either end up like in Rush or something.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
But I mean because it's it's a six part series,
a modern day Game of Thrones where gangs replace families
to take conrom London's underworld. I love how London's Underworld
is being run by Tom Sizemore and Michael Manson two
least fucking London Underground times. What Ray Winston was busy?
Was he? Old Winston was busy? You couldn't have got

(46:04):
Winston and fucking I don't know, Tim roth to show
up for five minutes and be all blimey Cockney geezers
for buckle up. Instead, we're gonna go with Madson of
Sizemo just fucking bunkers. If you can only get size
more and Madson for your movie, set it anywhere but London, right, Also,

(46:25):
if you're gonna basically see GI London, while you film
them in a green screen in Hollywood. Just film it
in Hollywood.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
I don't know where they filmed it actually doesn't say
it could have been either place it could have been.
My hunch is right has said it was. Oh no,
it says country, says filming locations England, UK. So my
hunches is that they couldn't film in London, so they
just went to some you know, wait.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
That's got Stacy Keach, Chuck, Little Michael Robin Askwith's in this.

Speaker 4 (46:57):
Movie, right, Nicholas Cage's son Weston what.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
Yeah, Okay, this is gonna be a better a dare
or something.

Speaker 4 (47:06):
Right. I don't know what is going on with this thing,
but it does the the one like common link. It
seems to be that whatever Cynthia Rothbark she picks, she
picks these projects that never get released. I don't know,
if you look at like the top part of her bio,
her IMDb bio, like most of these movies haven't come

(47:27):
out yet, like they're just there.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
Yeah, she's a movie called Dying for Living Lady Scorpions
Operation Dragon.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Fire Scorpions has come out. I believe I'm going to
get a nude nudge wing wing copy of that.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Okay, so that one finally came out. I think Last
Kumaite finally came out.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Last Kumatite is in Walmart as we.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
Speak, right, okay, all right, well, lady Scorpions, I didn't
realize that one's out finally, Okay, So I'm just gonna
get it to come down. It's like fourteen on Prime. Yeah, okay,
all right, so.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
I'll shoot I'll shoot you a copy, dude, all right.

Speaker 4 (48:00):
But yeah, at least they're finally because I mean, I mean,
she did what was that hostage and lost Bullet like
these movies, you know, and yeah, Cynthia Rothwork definitely deserves better.
I don't know, you know, join a Pacula and we
kind of got off tracks. It was Joanna Pacula. I
don't know if Joanna Pacular I.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
Was saying, Meredith Salinger deserves right, right, Yeah, Johanna Pacula
deserved all the silken bedsheets, saxophone music, and soft lighting
shining through the blinds that she got. She deserves all
the sensual lady. I'm a cop, she's a sexy broad.

(48:38):
We're going to have it away and it will compromise
the case in many different ways because we all saw
basic instinct. So yes, that is basically the movies Joanna
Packler was in and God bless them because we need
we need people that Pacula to warm us on the
cold long nights. The Kiss. Yeah, so The Kiss. It's

(48:59):
basically a succubus movie, right, except that there is some
indication in the final showdown that maybe Pacula's body had
been taken over rather than it was Pacula's own desire
to be that way, but that Pacula had been charged
or chosen with continuing the lineage somehow within her family.

(49:22):
You know, you get all the it is. I mean,
it's like a lifetime movie with blood and guts, Like
you get all the scenes that you would expect, with
Meredith Salinger being like you're not my mother or whatever
and running away and slamming doors right and then going
next door and having cucumber sandwiches with her friend or
whatever sitting on the counter, which was fairly unhygienically, but

(49:46):
then coupled with some really pretty great death scenes, like
some pretty spectacular shot and it veers kind of a
little bit from kind of action horror, like the car
wrecks and car crashes stuff and some of the deaths
to like full blown crazy special effects horror in the

(50:09):
final act, plus lots of bonking in the movie. I
assume to remember.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
Yes, yeah, And I don't know if you were going
to mention this at some point, but I mean, it's
a Canadian production and it's kind of fitting.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
I leave you to bring the knowledge.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
It's fitting that we're talking about this now because the
most Canadian of movies that is dominating the box office
right now, Deadpool Wolverine, was directed by the be ponytailed
hate deliverer Sash Boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Yes, quite a big role. Yes I was. I was
going to bring it up, but I'm glad that you
did it, Matt, because you deserve the limelight for that moment.
It's true if people are like, why is he covering
the kiss? None of the people Joanna Pagna, when was
she last relevant? Well, she was just in a movie
with the Cynthia Rothrock and Michael Madson. So let's not
that's not shit. I'm packing it just yet. But you're

(51:03):
absolutely right, Matt. Sean Levy or Sean Levy, however you
want to pronounce it. Levy, I would assume he would
have an a in it. But all right, Sean Levy,
I'm gonna say, is a fairly big pot. He plays
Meredith Sallenger's love interest.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
Yeah, and I mean he's he's like it. The best
part is that you get Chekhov's study earring. Yeah, And
so it's like there's nothing that spells more like nineties teen,
like obnoxious kid that is study ear ring with the
ponytail and like the pastel blazer. And he's driving around

(51:41):
dropping off cakes and he has a thing for Merits Sallenger.
She has a thing for him, and and they start
to kind of hook up a little bit, and we.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
Talk about the sweats that Meda. Sallenger goes to them,
all knowing full well she's going to bump into this,
the ponytailed hunk of man love that she wants a
slice of along along with his cakes, and she decides
to wear basically a sweater tent. Right, Right, that's all
that's about.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
Yeah, right, because apparently right because remember when they when
they leave the house, when the girls leave the house
to show that they were pretending to go hang out
with the friends and go to the library or do whatever,
but actually you know they're going to the mall to
cruise for boys. It's not that they take the sweaters off.
They pull off their skirts and reveal if they're wearing
mini skirts underneath these big, long, frumpy peasant skirts. Yeah,

(52:29):
that's the thing. That's like we're sneaking out. You know,
it's not the but but we're going to keep these
big sweaters on over top of that.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
Yeah, I didn't understand the keeping the big sweaters on.
But it was very People looking back at it now
from today's parlance would say it was very Stranger Things. Obviously,
Stranger Things is very the kiss, and I'm sure that
the writers and producers of Stranger Things were all over
this movie. But yeah, so she they cruise around the

(52:56):
mall as eighties ladies are wont to do. They'll talk
to honky future directors of the largest movie or biggest
movie or highest grossing movie practically of all time. Right,
it's like number three or something.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
It's well, it's it's like it's the number one rated
R movie ever and I guess like for this year.
I guess I think that that other one insight, that
cartoon one is still above it. But yeah, it's like
it's like closing in. I think it's going to pass
Black Panther for like, in terms of Marvel movies, it's
it's I think it's only going to have the Avengers
movies and the Spider Man you know, Far from Home,

(53:31):
which was the one that was on that had all
the other Spider Man Spider Man in it, whatever that reason,
one was the one that came up most recently pulled
in like one point yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
Because it's isn't it has a home Spider Man from
Spider Man Homecoming and Spider Man coming on houses, which
is the pawn version where Spider Man goes to your
roof whether you want him to or not, and exactly
it's your house.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
So it's not far from home.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
Because that was it's true that Spider Man, Spider Man
ejaculates all over your roof the shingles strip with his car.

Speaker 4 (54:14):
No way, hope, that's what it was. That was the
one comedy.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
This isn't fun. Oh no, there goes to Spider Man
the filthy perma shut up or I'll fucking come down
to Chimney, says Spider Man.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
I feel like, based on how Robert Downey Junior played
Tony Stark, that would have been a joke that he
might have made, but it was like Marvel, so it
was PG. Thirteen, so they couldn't make the joke.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
But until Ryan Reynolds came along. And then then Danny
Junior was like, wait Reynolds gets to say fuck not
on my watch, I'm coming back as do it. But
I'm gonna put lots of fucks in my movie too,
because I like, this is what's surprising to me. And
I understand that, like, not all Marvel characters lend themselves
to expletives and lots of gore or whatever, but a

(55:03):
lot of them do, especially the way they're being portrayed
in the Marvel Cinematic universe, that you know, a lot
of them are being portrayed sort of comedically at this point,
and they could all be cracking wise and having real
gore and real blood and mad monsters and everything else.
And so I'm surprised at Figi or Figi fij Kevin Pig.

(55:29):
I know, everyone says Kevin Phi. If Kevin Kevin Pige
open the flood gates are basically every So you could
have a thing where Spider Man jumped from house to

(55:50):
house and maybe look, maybe because it's marble he's not
whipping out the young spider penis and spreading his web
liberally all over the roof. But maybe he just lands
and as he lands, he has an unfortunate premature ejaculation
in his spider suit. So he just lands on the
roof and goes, oh Fox. Then he jumps onto the

(56:15):
next roof and the same thing happens again, and it's
just spider one. Spider Man lands on your roof. He
is coming, whether he likes it or.

Speaker 4 (56:24):
I mean, it does sound strange. I mean you think
that the stan Lee or whoever you know, Steve did go,
whoever was it created Spider Man. They had to recognize
the onist quality to the web shooter like that, you know,
like what is you know.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
That's looking Matt busting forth with the term, My goodness
is at that time already Matt the educated linguist that
he is the cutting linguist. One might say, Matthew, you're
absolutely right, Matt the web shooter. Well, no, because either way,

(57:01):
whether he makes it himself or whether it's organic to him,
because I know that in the Raimie ones it's organic
to him, but in the comic books he makes it
like a wrist thing right, which which by the way,
is just weird. Right, It makes more sense the Sam
Raimie way because it's a little bit David Cronenberg's the Flyer.
It's a little bit the original fly or whatever. It's
a little bit like, Look, if you're genuinely going to

(57:22):
take on the effects of a spider, you might get
web shooting out of you. Now, technically it would be
the ass, but they can't have spider man swinging from
his ass cheeks.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
So Cronenberg again, Cronenberg, I think would have.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
But the idea that Raimi made them organic, I actually
think makes more sense rather than him going away. I
can climb walls, and I'm a bit strong. Well, I
must be a spider, in which case old fashion web slingers. No.
The only way you would fashion web slinger is if
you knew for a hundred you know, one hundred percent,
because you had all of the spider things, and because
you've been bitten by the spider the web. It just

(58:01):
seems weird that he would then go build the web.
You know what I'm trying to get out, But I
know totally what you mean.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
I mean, like you said, it makes more sense that
he he you know, he could just shoot them himself,
and and like you said, yes, I guess. I mean,
I wonder if that's what it was. I wonder if
it was like like Stanley was like, I don't like
the idea of the web, like maybe that was the
original plants that the webs were going to shoot out
of his ass like, no, no, we can't do that. The

(58:29):
comic code will kill us if he's shooting webs. That's
what spiders do. They shoot the west. No, no, we
can't do that. Well what can we do and said, well,
what if he can't shoot webs at all? But because
he's a kid who does science in school, kids who
do science in school are smart. They could create the webshit. Okay,
that's what we'll do. That's what you know.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
Yeah, they wanted to stay away from the organic, but
I think that we want to move even more towards
the organic and just have him shooting vast cooths of
frothy webbing all over people's roofs. And it's spier, this blood, spy,
this blue. It is running down your roof, creamy white

(59:10):
in the night. You can't move to spy dis bluede.
He's New York's friendly neighborhood Spider. He came on my roof.
He came on my roof too, Jack, really good, God,
all on, what is going on? He just came on
Gladys his roof. He came on Baddis's roof. Okay, He's

(59:32):
coming on all the rooms and so on. That would
be my episode of Spider Man. Please don't sue me, Marvel, Disney,
whoever else owned Spider Man, Sony. I mean, they can
all come after us many.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
I'm surprised JP Dunley didn't do like, you know, like
it's something like the Ginger Man, but it's like a
guy who just walks around who's got spider abilities and
you know, ejaculates everywhere, and it's like that's you know,
and it's like, yeah, you can give him some kind
of cookie name, you know, Larry Nectarine or something like that,
and it's like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
Larry Nectar, the ejaculating spider. So back to the Kiss.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought it was really well done.
I really liked the fact that it went from not
to sixty pretty quickly and then back down to north
and then back up to sixty. It sort of rattled

(01:00:24):
and shook you for most of the movie, and I
thought the effects were pretty great. I thought the woman
who's come to seduce your father kind of plotline, hackneyed
though it is, was done pretty well, and I thought
the effects that gore it was surprising to me. Now
if I went into this the second time, or a
third time or a fourth time, am I having the

(01:00:45):
same amount of fun with it? I don't know, but
I would strongly recommend that people watch this knowing as
little as possible, which will be very difficult after what
we've just talked about.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
Yeah, I mean the other piece of this that I
actually enjoyed when you're talking about meretths Salinger, and I
don't know, I would have enjoyed this as well if
Meredith Salinger's character wasn't like creeped out by Joanna Pacula's
character right from the get go. I think if there's
been like this period where she liked her, thought she
was really cool, Oh you were a model, you do

(01:01:18):
all these things, Oh you're so cool and all this stuff,
I think if she had done that at all, well,
of course it would have bogged the movie down, but
I think I wouldn't have had as much fun with it.
The fact that Meredith Salinger is like, right from the beginning,
it's just like, this woman's a creep, get her out
of here. I don't want her around, you know. And
then she finds her dad slept with her, and it's like, yeah,
I mean I think that that helped kind of has
this because it's almost like we had Meredith Salinger as

(01:01:40):
our anchor while all this crazy stuff is going on
around us. We have someone we could anchor onto.

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
Yeah. No, completely, Meredith Salinger is entirely and like you say,
she is not and thank you for bringing this up.
She is not your typical, you know, woman who's gonna
come under the thrall of the sexy, interesting stories of fame,
wealth and fortune. On the other hand, she's going to
be completely suspicious and hate everything about it because she's

(01:02:08):
already getting sick and tired of her dad not being
around as much. And right he's working a lot.

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
He's also drinking screwdrivers at in the morning.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Yes, yeah, he's the father's clearly on like any other
If you nudge this movie a little bit a certain way,
it could become you know that kids in the whole
sketch with the depressed father coming home. Did you clean
the house today? Boy? Yeah, yeah, I clean the house? Okay, good,

(01:02:42):
good good? How about the gun? Did you clean the gun?
I love kids in the Hall, that's my favorite. I
love Kids's so good.

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
Yeah, I agree. I've got to watch some get because
it's been so long since I've seen you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
Did you clean the gun? Yeah? Good? Good good? And
then you just say, like it's so dark as well,
because he just walks into the house. As he walks
into the house perfectly timed, his suitcase bursts open, the
paper falls, and he just walks upstairs dragging the suitcase.
He goes inside. You hear it like a fucking gunshot.

(01:03:17):
Then ah, then you hear like another gunshot. I think
I think there's at least two gun shots. And then
it comes back to the kid's face. And that's what
we were laughing at in the nineties. Man.

Speaker 4 (01:03:30):
Yeah, Well, because because those guys could sell it, they
could sell it in ways that were like I like
that crew. They could pretty much sell They told that
the stuff that they've sold on that show, that the
stuff that I found funny on that show. You're absolutely correct,
Like if I told somebody about it after they would

(01:03:51):
they really that's the joke.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
I don't know. They just do it so fucking well.
It's fantastic. Anyway, we keep vering away from this movie
make people think that we didn't like it. I, on
the other hand, did like it. I will definitely. I
don't know whether it's be an annual watch, but it'll
be one of those things where when October rolls around
and I'm trying to find thirty one horror movies to
satiate my bloodlust, this might be one that I put

(01:04:14):
in mainly because of the kills. Let's talk about some
of the kills. Matt, what were some of your favorite
death scenes in the film.

Speaker 4 (01:04:20):
Well, I mean it's just the fact that because he's
the guy who directed Deadpool, I mean, he gets kind
of the Vincent Gallo in Miami Vice treatment. He you know,
he's but it's one of those things where you're like,
he's trying to be like this macho guy. So he
like walks in on Pacula doing this ridiculous, you know, ritual,

(01:04:40):
and she just lets him walk out. He just runs away.
But Chekhov's study Earring, we'd already established with the study
earing keeps falling out, and of course you getta look
stylish in the early nineties if you're Sean Levy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Oh yes, because she needs something of the person in
order to make them be able to project to death
on them. Yeah, when she's near them. Yeah. Sorry, am
I making much sense?

Speaker 4 (01:05:02):
That's exactly, Yeah, exactly. They can't do it because because
like when when the best friend gets killed at the mall,
which that was the one that freaked me out, because
she doesn't really die. They just you know, but oh yeah, the.

Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
Fucking eaten by the escalator. That's insane. She has her
whole like face ripped off, scout ripped.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Off, right, Yeah, they don't show it. They just kind
of just have like the splashing corn syrup, you know,
so good. Yeah, it's just oh, you're just like I
can't believe that I had to posit after that one.
I was like, I can't believe that they just did that.
I just you know, but they did. They did it
because she left her sunglasses behind, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
Right, that's it. That's another one. But I also love
the ceremonial like aku ma just so they send someone
out to like a thrift store and we just picked
stuff up that looks vaguely odd, you know what I mean.
Just they've got like ruins and little light stones, and

(01:05:59):
there's a there's like a joustick burning, and there's a
little monkey skull or something like. It's just sort of
there's a domino or you know, like it's just it's
just sort of there's a checker's piece with a you
know whatever and a little rubber duck and she's it's
just whatever. Gone go down to Dollar General and buy
eight of the weirdest fucking things you can find, you

(01:06:19):
know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:06:20):
Well, because I think if you've cut a director named Pendentenshim,
which this guy's named Pendenshim, I feel like that's exactly
how he would make a movie. Like I feel like
if you ate at his house, right, he'd have like
a really great bottle of wine. You know, the fish
would be like perfectly prepared. The vegetables, the root vegetables
would have been picked that day, like all that would

(01:06:40):
have been fantastic. But for the movie, it would have
been send the the prop guy or whatever down to
the thirst store and just get whatever you can and
we'll just lay it out here and it's fine. You
know that that's how a pendentium feels to me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Now when you see Pendenshim's photograph on IMDb on not
far wrong, Pen Densham. So, Pen Densham was born in Harrow, Middlesex, England.
But what he looks he looks like, well, I take
he looks like someone in England who came into money.
People who come into money in England unless they're aristocracy.

(01:07:16):
If they're aristocracy, they're used to money. If they're just
regular shmos and they come into money, it doesn't sit
well with them, but they try really hard. That's what
Pen Densham looks like. It looks like someone who's coming
to money. Like obviously the hair dye and the photograph
on IMDb is not fooling anyone, Dentsham, you were born
in nineteen forty seven. No one believes that those golden

(01:07:38):
brown locks are really yours. My friend, there is there's
some fucking maybe Lene or Lori Ala, whoever makes that
shit inside that hair. I'm telling you that right now.
And I know that Densham's been doing his eyebrows with
one of those little bushes. So yes, Pen Densham. Now, Matt,

(01:07:59):
what do we feel about people who were directors and
then went on to producing. My feeling is you're either
a producer, like you're either like this is what I am,
I'm a producer, right, or you're maybe someone who came
up through the ranks of sort of second unit director,

(01:08:21):
assister director, whatever it is, and then you become a producer.
If you're a full blown director, you know, he makes
he makes three movies, three features, and then a TV
movie and then immediately goes into scriptwriting for bad TV
series and producing. And I feel like producing is the movie.

(01:08:46):
Is the job if you begin as a producer or
work your way up to producer, it's a prestigious role
if you are a director making movies and a writer.
If he wasn't a writer, I'd be like, all right, fine,
But because he's a writer, he's got an invest to
creative interest in his output. Yeah. So he didn't want
to be a producer. He didn't just want to be
like how are we going to pay for the chairs

(01:09:06):
in Botswana? You know what I mean? Like he doesn't
want to be that guy, but you know he he
That's where it comes from, right. He wanted to be
a right director. He tried his hand at that and
Hollywood was like, no, you're not doing it. So in
other words, so then he falls into producing, and I
feel like producing you can sort of get away with

(01:09:29):
do you know what I mean? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:09:30):
No, No, I know exactly what you mean, because yeah,
it's it's I'm trying to think of like the best
like it kind of as you're talking about this, like
what like what the best exam you know of the
of this kind of thing is. But you're you're absolutely right.
I guess there's kind of two types of producers that direct.
They're the ones who they had to fire the director

(01:09:51):
because they fought too much and there's like ten you know,
ten percent of the film left, and they do it
in the directors like I don't want any credit for
this movie, and so they take the credit. So there's
that kind of producer director, or there's this kind here
who they do like a movie like The Kiss, and
it's either like I can make I can be a
hired gun and do movies that are kind of iffy,

(01:10:12):
or I can be a producer on something like Robin
Hood Prince of Thieves and make more money.

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
But I feel like being a producer on Robin there's
gonna be seven bazillion producers on Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
I mean you're not telling me Pendensham. Wow. Pendensham co
wrote Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. What I'm reeling, Matt,
That sneeze was me reeling also, that's added Patreon Gold.

(01:10:39):
The audible will not the audio version of this show
will not include the sneeze the video. Do you think
I'm going in and editing out the sneeze? You've got
another thing coming? Who can be bothered to add out
the sneeze? Pendensham fucking co wrote Robin Hood Prince.

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
Of Thieves story and the screenplay. Yeah he yeah, wow, wow.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
Wow. Well good for you, Dan Pension. That's fantastic. That's fantastic.
Maybe you didn't fail downwards or upwards. Maybe you maybe you,
Maybe you were the tension we wanted all along, although
I will point out that you did back draft Robin
and Prince of Thieves. Well done, blown away, Good, tank Girl,

(01:11:24):
interesting choice. I'm not gonna knock tank Girl. It's an
interesting choice. It's good. And then immediately down into the
abyss of TV movies such as The Hoodini Story and
the Dangerous Lives of Altar boys, Whatever the hell that
is that was?

Speaker 4 (01:11:43):
I think that was. That one was kind of a
big deal. I think that was Kieran Colkin. I think
was dangerous and I think it might have also had
Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. I think that that was.
It was at two thousand and two. That was like
that last Gasp, like Secretary, that last Gasp of nine.
He's indie, but at that time there wasn't as much
of it out there, so it was like Entertainment Weekly

(01:12:05):
just loved, you know, dangerous Lives of Walter Voice the
second that kind of stuff. But yeah, so so so
that was kind of a bigger one. But yeah, I saw.
He also did a after he did tank Girl. He
was a producer on an adaptation of Daniel Dafoe's mal Flanders.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
He was yes and directed.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
Yeah, so he you know, I guess you go from
Tank Girl to you know, mall Fland.

Speaker 3 (01:12:29):
Yeahs about a prostitute.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
I believes though, yes, yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
My favorite thing, this is my favorite thing about Pendentship
is that he has two pictures on IMDb as far
as I can figure. He has his latest headshot, which
is him proving that he can still bend his knees
pretty low wearing what looks like the cheapest looking, richest

(01:12:55):
sports jacket ever. So in other words, you know that
it's expensive because he's fucking producer of mal Flanders. He's
got the odd coin that he's not wearing any off
the peg JC Penny suit, but it looks like an
off the peg JC Penny suit. Because British people when
they get a bit of money, Matt, they don't know

(01:13:15):
what to do with it. They go to Marks and Spencer's,
which is sort of like the the banana of public
sort of well not really, no, what's a what's an
old kind of what is sort of pitched a little older,
like an Ann Taylor Loaft meets Banana Republic type thing.

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
Yeah, that's a good question, Like what would you go,
you know, like, I mean any in America, it probably
would be like more like a local thing like here
in Philly. Thin he would be Boyd's. I think it
would be like a like a local like like you'd
have your local version, because I think the chains would
have the cheap suits like right, Macy's and all those.
I'm trying to think of like one that would be

(01:13:55):
like a chain. I mean it guess like like look
like bloom that, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
Something like that. Yeah, so it looks like it looks
like he's he's bought it off the peg at Saxmith Avenue.
But it's probably, you know, like an expensive jacket. The shirt,
I don't even know what's happening with the shirt. The
shirt is sort of a nightclub shirt if you were
going to a nightclub in like nineteen ninety eight and

(01:14:22):
again were suspiciously old to be in the nightclub. That's
what the shirt looks like. Either that it looks like
a Wall Street rapist out on the out on the
prowl shirt. And then the jeans look like these sort
of wal Mart like those look like the kind of
stretchy Walmart shiny jeans. You know when jeans are shiny,

(01:14:47):
you know what I'm saying, When there's a sheene on
them and you're like, I don't know why they've done
that where they've taken the denim and they've oiled it up.
Maybe it's a spainer conspiracy, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:14:57):
You So, when the weather gets warm or cold here Philadelphia,
like probably on the fall, you don't know how many
dads wear jeans like those. When they're like touring old
city here in Philadelphia. It's like, I mean, I mean
you probably if.

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
You a bunch of Pendentims, a lot of them.

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
Oh, if you took a picture of like the line
for the Liberty Bell in late October, it would just
be Pendentium. Every fifth person would be Penndensham.

Speaker 3 (01:15:23):
Oh, Matt, that is a delight. Oh Matt, the image
of that is a delight. Look at the line for
the Liberty Look at the line for the Liberty Bell.
Look at them there, every fifth one. So this is
the other thing I love. So he's got that photo, Matt.

(01:15:44):
The one way you look at it, you're like, what
is going on with pendension? But then the only other
photo he has is of himself with Julian Adams, Todd Robinson,
and John Wantson Watson, who also co wrote Uh Prince
the Thieves with Pendensham at the Phantom premiere. So at

(01:16:04):
the Billy Zane superhero movie that never became a franchise,
And it's one of those pictures where it looks like like,
you know, me and my friends got dressed up to
go to the film and we were the only people
there in jackets. It looks like it looks like that
kind of photo where they're all sort of taking the

(01:16:25):
piss out of Julian Adams from wearing a bow tie,
and they're like, oh, look, Jewels showed up with a
fucking bow tie. Well done, Jewels, congrats, so you've won
the nights. Look at the tie. Pendensham's wearing some sort
of ghostly Chagall unicorn fucking thing. I don't know what's
going on with that, but it's freaking the shit out

(01:16:46):
of me. Pendensham even back then at the Phantom premiere,
trying to convince people that's his real hair color. Pen,
You're fooling nobody. Look at who you're hanging out with.
Look at it. Look at these three people and you
think you're following anyone with your Prince of thieves. Hey,
you're mad, bastard. Yeah it is.

Speaker 4 (01:17:07):
I mean the dentium and I mean the tie. Like
you said, it is just I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
Sounds like a character I would make up for the Aftermoone.
I could see.

Speaker 4 (01:17:19):
I could see the character like the sketch right like
where it's like it's like like pendentships coming looking for
a hair colored products.

Speaker 3 (01:17:24):
Right. Hello, I'm Pen, Why are you why are you
announcing your full name? Well, because I'm and if you
are called if you're just called pen, Hi, I'm pen.
What do you mean your like if someone came into

(01:17:46):
a Hello, I'm Pen, I'd go I'm lamp. You know
i'm post it note or you know I'm statel Hello,
I'm state Plan. Please to meet you, Pencil. No, really,
my first name is pet. I am pendentshom Pen. Who
the fuck is I wrote Prince of Thieves? You didn't
write Prince of Thieves? Look this guy Alan come out here.

(01:18:07):
This guy's claiming to have written Prince of Thieves. Says
his name is pen. What Penn says? He wrote Prince
of Thieves and his name is Penn. Oh he's having
you on. Yeah, I think you're having me on me.
You're gonna have to leave the store. But I am Penn, honestly.
And then he gets dragged security trying.

Speaker 4 (01:18:26):
To pull up on his phone the AMDB MDP.

Speaker 3 (01:18:30):
Look at me with Julian Don Robinson and John Watson.

Speaker 4 (01:18:37):
It looks like a photoshop there, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
They're like, wait, is that that movie with Billy Zane? Yeah,
get out me. You're sling your hook. You're out of
here Pen and then it comes to David Pendens was
escorted again, David, why are you telling us the story?
It's a human interest piece. I think you, I think

(01:19:00):
you would overestimate how much interest we have in Penn Densham.
But he directed this movie, and I have to say,
while he is not exactly a budding John Carpenter, he
gives it the good old college try.

Speaker 4 (01:19:16):
I mean, that's the thing, right, is that you know
he's kind of hired gun ish in here, but he
puts the plum on it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:23):
He puts the Densham quality. That's what he does. He
really gives us the dentsim in a in a way
that we hadn't seen before. And good for him. This
was written by the screenwriting duo Stephen Volk and Tom
Rapluski or something Rapolowskiski, and he wrote and made his

(01:19:46):
featured directorial debut with the Iran Pictures comedy Madhouse, starring
John Larrakt and Christy Ally. The one that you saw
on every single VHS you ever rented, But you never
rented Madhouse? What was it you never rented? You never
rented Madhouse? How many times do you see the trailer
every time you rented a VHS. But they wrote they

(01:20:07):
wrote Ken Russell's Gothic. I mean, if you want to
talk about an absolute slide from from height happy filmmaking
heights to the depths of despair, you've got Gothic Ken Russell.
You know a well a well known Ken Russell weird
o horror masterpiece, The Kiss, which I will give high

(01:20:29):
marks to The Guardian, which was made by a William Freakin. Yes,
and we currently have on VHS in b kind movie
vault in New Milford twenty Bank Street, lower level of
the Hunt. They then write ghost Watch, which becomes notorious
for scaring the Bejesus out of the entirety of Great

(01:20:49):
Britain when they do that sort of live it's a
live broadcast. And this is what this is what this is.
How you know that the David viewers of the world
are just completely fake? Is that with very little effort,
because we were all already sucked into the way newsreaders

(01:21:10):
speak and the way they tell us what you know,
and the way that we're sort of educated in sort
of how these people speak. There's twenty twenty is the worst.
Everyone on twenty twenty talks like this and you're like, nobody.
Nobody's cadence in the real world is like that. He goes,
she went into the shop, but she didn't know what

(01:21:32):
she would find. And it's meant to be like a
talking head, you know. It's like, you know, Jeremy full
of shit, you know whatever, producer of this show. We
paid him money or whatever, and it's just a talking
head and he just sits there and he'll be he'll
be like, of course, it was very sad that the
sister died, but did it lead us to the closest

(01:21:56):
bit of evidence that we had yet? And you're like, nobody,
you were asked an honest question, like what happened with
the killers, you know, sister or whatever? And he goes
the murdering of the sister and you're like, nobody talks
like that. But that's we've been so conditioned by that
that when you do something like ghost Watch, where well

(01:22:16):
respected people such as my and you have to understand
that Michael Parkinson, right, Michael Parkinson is sort of the
Johnny Carson of England, except not funny. Oh no, he's
more like the Cavot Show, but not Cavot. Dick. Cabot
was very very funny. But Michael Parkinson was always just

(01:22:38):
a journalist, but he had a very Dick Cavot like show,
even though obviously Dick Cavit could be humorous. Michael Parkinson
would often have like big heavy hitters, both of Hollywood
and of politics and of everything of the day that
was sort of Parky was sort of our Caveot in
that way. And then Sarah Green and Mike Smith were

(01:23:00):
sort of daytime TV and early evening kids TV as well.
I think players sort of a bit like the woman
on anyone from the This Morning on ABC or whatever,
or the Today Show or whatever, any of those. Yeah,
those kind of people. So they were people that you
had trusted in your coming at your home for years

(01:23:22):
and years and years. And then they did the show
where there was a so and so called live broadcast
on Halloween Night where a BBC team investigated a so
called poltergeist in a London home, and of course it
was all faked. It was written by Stephen Volkan, directed
by Leslie Manning, but people believed it was real the
way they did it. And that's what I mean. If

(01:23:44):
you can get three so called journalist slash TV presenters
who are meant to be telling the truth if you
can get them to lie so successfully that the entirety
of Great Britain believes that there's legitimately a fucking poltergeist
going nuts in a London home right now. That tells
you all you need to know about newscasters and the
likes of the David Mures of the world. Uh, then

(01:24:07):
we've got Tom Roppoluski or Roppolowski however you're going to
pronounce it. And boys. He produced Lover Boy with the
McSteamy or what his name.

Speaker 4 (01:24:17):
Is, Patrick Robert Ginty, Yeah, that one.

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
He wrote Blind Date, the Bruce Wallis movie.

Speaker 4 (01:24:29):
Oh was that Blake Edwards a thrick of that?

Speaker 3 (01:24:31):
I believe.

Speaker 4 (01:24:32):
So.

Speaker 3 (01:24:32):
He wrote the TV series Simon and Simon. He wrote
The Kiss obviously, He wrote Love a Boy, He wrote Madhouse.
He wrote Look who's talking now? He was such a
fan of Kirsty Ally he went back for another dip
in the alley pool, possibly just before she went crazy,
and then again from then on nothing much else. So

(01:24:53):
they've they've all reached their moments in Hollywood, just not
hung around a bit. I guess that sort of typifies
everyone in the movie Juanna Pacular, Meredis Salinger, everyone except
Sean Levy. Sean Levy has really gone from strength to
strength or Levy Sean Levy, Levy Levy. Let's call the
whole thing off. But yes, Sean Levy is by far

(01:25:15):
the most successful person in the movie. Penn Densham, on
hearing this, has just gone into his back garden, fallen
over and started crying.

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
His dad jeans are just covered in like the soil
in the in the in the coat right that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:32):
Yes, but no, we we have to wrap it up
by talking about the finale, in which Pendentsham seems to
believe fire and water can cohabitate quite happily. Is that
a thing? Matt? Scientifically speaking, I guess.

Speaker 4 (01:25:49):
I guess if there's enough chemicals.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
In the pool, right, or enough oil?

Speaker 4 (01:25:54):
I guess right, because it didn't seem like the pool
had that many chemicals. Because Meredith Salander was swimming around, I.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
Was in it, and I think because because cusick, Yes,
wasn't she in it? Oh? Yeah, Sabrina no, Sabriaa Budots
who got mangled in the.

Speaker 4 (01:26:13):
Right escalating yeah, but so yeah, it was it was like,
not only did you have like the pool right with
the fire in the pool, but then you have this
tank from the grill that falls over and it's like
spitting out fire. Looks like something out of a Duran
Duran video for the eighties. It's like you see like
these extras maybe walking around like paint down bodies and
here's like this tank spitting you know, well, well, Samon

(01:26:36):
the Bond singing and Nick Rhodes is playing the keyboard.

Speaker 3 (01:26:39):
There must be some way to do it. There must be,
because there's also a music video I think referencing that.
If you've ever heard of the British comedy group not
the Nine o'clock News, which was mel Smith, Griffriies Jones,
Ron Atkinson who'd gone to become mister Bean and among
this other characters Black auDA and so on and a
few other people, Pamela Stevenson who would go one to

(01:27:00):
marry Billy Connolly, and they did a song called nice
video shame about the song, and in that you see
there was a play on the MTV kind of for
early not MTV so much, but the early music video
craze in the early eighties, and it had Grifferies Jones
walking through a swimming pool like this, but there was

(01:27:20):
like little fiery things in the pool, So there must
be some way to do it with gasoline or something.
I don't know, so we're assuming it's possible. Matt.

Speaker 4 (01:27:29):
Anyway, I was gonna say Wild Boys, I think I
think I think samuelabon Amos died in the Wild Boys
video because I think when the when he was on
that fan that was like going into the water, I
guess it got stuck and his head was stuck under
the water. It was like it was Russell will Key,
you know, is.

Speaker 3 (01:27:44):
A classic director. I absolutely love his razorback that's my favorite.

Speaker 4 (01:27:49):
Yeah, yeah, and his music videos.

Speaker 3 (01:27:51):
At that time, he was absolutely well. He comes from Australia,
and Australia was just used to throwing Grant Page off
a you know, million story cliff and ground Page just
gets out of the water goes, oh, I should we
go again, mate, And they're like, well, next time, ground Page,
We're going to have you drive off a cliff while
on fire on a motorbike into a wall and then

(01:28:13):
land in a shark's mouth. Alight, all right, I'll go
get by a fire to on jacket. I'm not worry
about it. I I'll be all good, Grant, do you
think you want to like shave off the bed and
the mad curly hair just in case they set No,
I'll be fine, mat I don't worry about me. I'll
be fine. Ground Page legend if you have. If you
don't know ground Page, look him up in especially in
Brian Trenchard Smith's documentary slash feature films Death Cheaters and

(01:28:38):
stunt Rock.

Speaker 4 (01:28:40):
Yeah. Yeah, I've got to see They'm going I'm got
to see more Brian trench ships with I think I
was it Siege of Fire based Gloria.

Speaker 3 (01:28:48):
I think You've got Day of the Panther and Day
of the Panther two, which are his sort of straight
to video eighties nineties action films. But then before that
you also have The Fantastic Escape two thousand, which is
also known as Turkey Shoot. So you have that one,
which is sort of a hunting people who have escaped

(01:29:08):
from prison movie where for no reason whatsoever, it is
set in the future, but for no reason whatsoever, there's
a werewolf wearing a top hat. Don't ask, it just
is part of the future. In the same way that
when you watch a Troma film, you're like, why do
these people have pig faces. They just do. They have
pig faces. It's a Troma film. Brion Trent john Smith
was like, I want a werewolf wearing a top hat

(01:29:29):
and I'm going to get that, So where we go.
But that is the fantastic Turkey shoot. I would also
strongly recommend Man from Hong Kong with George Lazenby as
the big bad villain in that movie. And much like
Hendrickson at the end of Hard Target that we were
talking about on your show, Matt, a fantastic, fantastic show
that we did on Jean Claude Van Dam's Desert Heat

(01:29:53):
also known as Kyote Man. Much like Don Hendrickson at
the end of Hut, George Lasenby sets himself on fire
for reals ease at the end of Man from Hong Kong.
So it's well worth watching that.

Speaker 4 (01:30:09):
Yeah, I've got it, I've got it.

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:30:11):
I enjoyed Siege of Vibrious Glory and I was kind
of known his his stuff out there, and I think
I think you interviewed him on three times. Yeah, just Drive.

Speaker 3 (01:30:21):
You must have covered Drive Angry. That's one of us.
The Sack Tom Jay and movie.

Speaker 4 (01:30:27):
Yes, that's right. Yes, okay, that's what I've done. Yeah, yeah,
or I don't know if I've reviewed it, but I
definitely have seen it. I think, I think, I don't
know if I remember the movie.

Speaker 3 (01:30:35):
So everyone comes to trench on Smith eventually, especially if
you have fallen down the B movie rabbit hole like
Thomas Jane and John Cusack have done.

Speaker 4 (01:30:44):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:30:45):
I think Tom James enjoying himself and then John Cusack
hates himself deeply but we'll see.

Speaker 4 (01:30:50):
Yes, he just sends drunken tweets that are like filled
with typos, whereas Thomas James.

Speaker 3 (01:30:55):
Like, I literally told John Cusack once when the Cubs
are winning the Worlds like, isn't this fantastic that the
Cubs are finally winning the World Series? And he blocked
me on Twitter and that's all I said. I said,
isn't it fantastic that the Cubs are winning the World Series?
And he was just like people are blocked And I'm like,

(01:31:15):
I'm sorry, John, what did I what did? I? Like?

Speaker 4 (01:31:18):
My hunch is is that people were actually trolling him
and he just didn't know what he was doing, because
I just get this sense that he doesn't understand how
any of it works and he just, you know, he.

Speaker 3 (01:31:29):
Just he's blocked. He's there on his phone being like,
just make Joey Ramone play music on my phone? How
do I get the Ramones play? Play the Ramones or
you know, depeche Mode or some other moody eighties my bag.

Speaker 4 (01:31:45):
I want to say, I don't know if it was
Czac or Bill Murray, may even been both of them
that when the White Sox were winning the World Series
in five, they wanted seats to the games, and the
White Socks were like, no, you buy them, like everybody
else giving you your Cubs fans, we don't. So yeah,
it might have been Cusak, which it sounds very Kuzakian.

Speaker 3 (01:32:07):
Yeah, and then you go on Instagram and be like,
you know, why is it that the White Sox organization
secretly supports Israel or something. You're like, I don't know
what you're going on about, Kusaki, mad bastard, but block
me for saying, way to go, Cubs, You're weird. But anyway, Yeah,
the final act of this movie in the swimming pool,
quite a staggeringly exciting denouement. We've got robbery, special effect,

(01:32:32):
demon worms, we've got fire in the swimming pool, We've
got crazy music or lightning, We've got all sorts of
stunts happening. It's it's phenomenal, right, man, what an ending
to the movie.

Speaker 4 (01:32:44):
What was it was that Elmer from brain damage? I
don't know who that was that came out of her mouth.
That was like it was like like she was like spitting.
It was like there was coming out of her mouth
the big like yes.

Speaker 3 (01:32:55):
It was like a Night of the Creeps, except imagine
that the slug was like eight times bigger.

Speaker 4 (01:33:02):
Right, right, It's like it and and and she's like
trying to get you know, like do this, and then it's.

Speaker 3 (01:33:08):
Like, well it's a Salleinger. She's trying to penetrate Salinger
with her doom slug and Salleinders having none of it.
They're trying to do this in a burning swimming pool.

Speaker 4 (01:33:20):
Right, Because there's some idea I guess right that the
doom slug likes to go through linear like some kind
of language kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (01:33:29):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 4 (01:33:31):
Which made no sense because the originally in Africa, and
so it's like there weren't Belgians in Africa all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:33:39):
That's kind of a.

Speaker 4 (01:33:39):
Relatively recent phenomenon, so they must have gone from people
that weren't related to them at some point. But you know,
I wasn't going to question it too much considering that
I was watching a scene at the end where you know,
there's fire at a.

Speaker 3 (01:33:51):
Pool, except that we're all meant to be related, way
way way way back through that.

Speaker 4 (01:33:56):
Well, that's a good point. Mitochondrial DNA. They that's probably
how the thing. Yeah, it connects to it. That's how
it works. That's how they figured it out.

Speaker 3 (01:34:03):
It's a filthy sex lug looking to impregnate prone young
teens and it comes through the miochondrial gene. So that's
what it is. Pen Denson would have explained it if
we've been able to get him on the show. But
next week Pendensim is on the show. I'm going to
reach out to him and be like, pen talk to

(01:34:24):
me about a kiss, buddy, come on, tell me all
about it.

Speaker 4 (01:34:27):
Yeah, oh my god, Pendentium. I can just imagine Pendensium
like you try to get him on the show, and
first off, it's like the Scape thing, like just walking
on you know, you get the message from him. I'm
not able to get the microphone to work, and it's
like going to Scape and then you've got to try
to walk him through scape and the settings and all that.
He's like, okay, all he's looking in a mirror.

Speaker 3 (01:34:49):
So he starts putting dye on his eyebrows with a
tiny little brush right exactly. He thinks he's not on camera.
He's like, don't mind me, what are you doing there? Pen,
You're applying more head eye, dear, dear eyebrows. I don't,
I don't. This is all natural dnsim top to bottom,
pure dench. So anyway, I give, I gave the Kiss. Well,

(01:35:12):
let's find out. Let's find out what I said about
The Kiss, because it was I think the last movie
I reviewed because I haven't really been watching very many
movies lately, to be honest, I've been working a bit
too hard. But let's just see what we did. I
don't know what you gave it, but I gave it.
I gave it four stars. Man, I was apparent you
give watch. So I don't use. I don't do.

Speaker 4 (01:35:34):
I don't. I've been doing stars on letter box, which
is kind of rude because I always look at what
other people are putting for stars and kind of get
a sense of how people are feeling about a movie,
But yeah, I probably would have been three on this
this is It would have been two for like kind
of the early part of it, but then it kind
of grew into a nice three.

Speaker 3 (01:35:53):
Well for me, my feeling on it is this is
that ninety eight percent of the time when you drip
into or dip into, rather when you dip into a
VHS you've heard nothing about, especially a VHS that styles
people you have heard of, and especially a VHS in
the horror genre, like the says, very often, when you

(01:36:18):
put that in, even if you've heard of it, even
if it's something like Offerings, which I had heard of
or whatever, you put it in and by the end
of you like, eh, I see why that is not
Halloween or Fry the thirteenth to Texas, tens of Massaco
or even there or whatever, Like I understand why those
ones rose to the top and this one languished in obscurity.
The Kiss is one where I'm like, considering some of

(01:36:40):
the fucking junk that some of the Blu Ray companies
have put out, I'm actually really staggeringly surprised that The
Kiss has not been either given an arrow or vinegar
syndrome or shout Factory Screen Factory release because and it
feels very much like a bit of a lost gem,
and the fact that twelve of my friends on letterbox

(01:37:02):
they all given it over three and most have given
it four or four and a half stars even it.
I think it feels that way to us because we
watched so many horror movies that we either have heard
about but have never seen or have never seen. But
Scream Factory puts it out and you go, all right,
I'll watch it, and then you end up being a

(01:37:23):
little disappointed to watch something like this, know nothing about
it other than Meredithandngers in it, and to end it
and be like WHOA. There was like mad practical effects.
There was horror. There was polls on fire, there was
blood lighting, there was screaming. There was mad lightning. There
was weird cult rituals. There was sex scenes. There was

(01:37:48):
you know, people being sliced up. There was all There
was people being hit by cars, like it being being hung? Right,
didn't someone get hung?

Speaker 4 (01:37:57):
I think so yeah, and so like you.

Speaker 3 (01:37:59):
Just you just sort of go, this is great. And
my review was films like this is the reason I
love to collect vhs. Before they showed up in a
box of other randoms. I'd never heard of it, but
it had Meridi Sounder in it, and that was good
enough for me. Well, I love the hell out of it.
It has superb gory, gooey and mad practical effects. It
has bloody, graphic and bizarre death scenes, a fun, simple,
predictable but enjoyable story, wild sex scenes, juxta posed with

(01:38:23):
mental horror, and plenty of inventive set pieces. Yeah, the
the sex scene cutting back and forth between when it
cuts back and forth with that was pretty pretty interesting
and spectacular.

Speaker 4 (01:38:37):
That's the scene when she's in bioclass.

Speaker 3 (01:38:42):
Yes, she's in bioclass and she's having all sorts of
like insane weird visions and like her noses bleeding and stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:38:49):
Right, and she's menstruating and it's yeah, it's like all
kinds of while they're having sex.

Speaker 3 (01:38:54):
Yeah, and there's like, yeah, she starts menstruating for the
first time.

Speaker 4 (01:38:57):
Yeah, it's it's just it's it's completely you're you're right,
it's it's a it's bonkers, it's it's it's pennedentium at
his Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
It's really one of Penn's fortees to juxtapose a woman's
first rite of passage with you know, a writhing, silk
bedded sex scene with Joanna pakaderm or whatever her name is,
Johanna Pacula, Pacula, Joanna Pacula. I would it wouldn't be

(01:39:30):
surprising if she was really like a bride of Dracula,
because that's how she plays everything. She plays everything very vampy. Anyway,
I said, it's not got the best cinematography. Although I
feel like the VHS version, even the one that was
on YouTube or whatever I shared with you that you
ended up watching, which are not great versions out there.
I feel like if this was cleaned up and put

(01:39:51):
on a decent screen, it might look a bit better.
But it's not got the best cinematography. In the book.
That played the dad, Nicholas kilbertus he's fucking awful, nagapelling
and they both fall flat. In fact, if it wasn't
with the horror, you might think this was a TV
movie or something. But Salinger and a pre director of
the biggest movie in the world, Sean Levy, Joanna Pacula,

(01:40:12):
and Mimi Kuzick all suitably eighties over the top and delicious.
I would have loved to have seen a pass at
this subject matter for a female writer and director. Yeah,
we didn't talk about this either. I feel like this
subject matter is incredibly feminine, especially as we just talked
about the evil stepmother sexually attacking the husband while the

(01:40:32):
girl at her school is all alone as she gets
her first period. I feel like, as look, Pendensham did
a great stab at it, and I think that the
feminist themes in the movie do ring out, But I
would have loved to have seen a pass at the
subject matter for a female writer and director. But considering
the boys club behind the scenes, it is a pretty

(01:40:53):
feminist horror movie. What do you think about that?

Speaker 4 (01:40:56):
Yeah, I agree with all of it. I think you know,
I think Bob did this for one of his last
drive ins or something like that. So it's got.

Speaker 3 (01:41:06):
One of the last So it was before that he
was one of those.

Speaker 4 (01:41:12):
Yes it was. It was something that he either covered
it or something. Yes, it wasn't last night, it was
something before that. But yeah, so so he has that
sort of connection to it. It's it's bonkers enough that,
like like you said, it sort of elevates it beyond
the sort of unremarkable, And I think when you're looking
for a late eighties or looking for an eighties horror movie.
It needs a bonker's quality because it's either like there's

(01:41:36):
much more unremarkable than there is like fantastic, and so
you're you're better off doing bonkers because then you know
you've got something if it's I.

Speaker 3 (01:41:47):
Just loved it that this felt like a real discovery
and it didn't feel like I try and explain it
didn't feel like a real discovery, like does it he
felt like? Right? Does it? He felt like a real discovery.
But it's not one that I would go out to
anyone else and be like, this is a fantastic movie.

(01:42:07):
It's a fantastic movie for me, and I know all
the reasons why I love it. This, on the other hand,
is one that I want to say two horror fans,
like two people who watch everything from you know, Full
Moon Features to big universal horror stuff and Paramount and whatever,
all whether you watch studio horror movies, whether you watch

(01:42:28):
b horror movies, whether you watch Craven and Cronenberg and
Raymi and all those guys. If you like horror, big, small,
or indifferent, the kiss to me feels like one that
I want to say to the world, like what do
you mean you haven't seen The Kiss? Fucking Watch The Kiss,
because while it has a lot of lifetime movie trappings,

(01:42:51):
the horror and the gore and the action and the
deaths are compelling in a way that you don't always
get when you do a deep dive into VHS tom
and pick out something like The Kiss. I said, I
want this to be rediscovered. Honestly, while I couldn't call
it exceptional exactly, it is so much better than so
many of the other movies that people herald as classics
from the same era. So it's at least four stars

(01:43:14):
for me, and if Erscreen Factory of Vinegar Syndrome releases tomorrow,
it would be an instant pre order by find it,
watch it, and tell your friends. And I genuinely mean that.
It's like, are there are people who will tell you
that certain slasher films, especially sort of the middle of
the road, low rent slasher films, are fucking amazing. Now,

(01:43:37):
I'm a slasher film fanatic. I watched slasher films all
the time. Most of them are not amazing, and I
don't even mean that in an ironic sense. They're just
a lot of them. You watch and you go Okay,
you know what I mean, Like, all right, but there
are some that people will prophetize about and think are
the best films ever, while the Kiss langers in obscure

(01:44:00):
and I don't want it to anymore. Was there anything
else from your review on Letterbox that you wanted to
bring up so or any other talking points about this?

Speaker 4 (01:44:07):
No? The only other thing because now when you're talking
about this potential like arrow vinegar syndrome, you know, blu
ray version. If we're going to do that, I've got
to get pendentim commentary. I need a pendentsim.

Speaker 3 (01:44:18):
Comment and I think that we should moderate the pendent
because at least the first twenty five minutes of a
pendension commentary is us trying to explain to him how
to turn his mic on exactly, or how to see
the movie. Like maybe Prendenschiam is looking at us through
the window and the movie is behind him, and we

(01:44:41):
keep just like frantically waving at him, and he's like,
these guys are really enjoying the film. These guys seem
to really love the film. You should see them from
the booth, waving chatting. However, the film hasn't started yet,
so if someone could tell me when the film starts,
I'm meant to be doing a commentary. We're like, it's
on behind you. Turn around, Densham and he's like, they

(01:45:02):
are waving, they're whooping, the hollowing. The whole comment is
just him confused until you hear me burst into the
booth and go, it's behind you, deenshim. You're twasic. Yeah,

(01:45:24):
I've killed I've killed.

Speaker 4 (01:45:25):
Matt l The laugh killed me.

Speaker 3 (01:45:27):
There, I'll see they seem to really like the films.
And he turns around just in time for like the
middle of the movie and the rest of the movie.
He's I wish I could see those guys again. I
really I really missed those guys. I wish they were
in here with me. I just come through his airpiece. Densham,

(01:45:50):
shut up and talk about the film. People want to
know what you were doing up in Canada with Meredith
Salinger in nineteen eighty seven or whatever you shot this thing.
Leonard Moulton gave this a decent review for a horror
movie which he usually slams. He said it builds up
to and then backs away from, the lesbian and incestuous

(01:46:12):
implications of its premise. Malton has a point the movie
may have been more shocking and devastating of it when
full throttle in this direction, much like Pulstrader's Cat People
or ed gre Allen Poe's Full of the House of Ussia.
I love that the fact that the person writing this
trivia point has gone off the trivia at this point
the trivia and again, Matt, I hasten to call it trivia,

(01:46:34):
it's just Leonard Moulton went, well, you know lesbians, right,
it didn't really do it for me. And then the
rest of the trivia point is just whoever wrote it
editorializing right as well? You know, maybe if it had
gone maybe Matt, this is what they're saying, maybe if
it gone full lesbo aren't to nice slink fast. I

(01:47:00):
mean basically what he is Leonard Malton is in a
classy way saying, you know, they really should have explored
the themes of, you know, the female as part of
the family and the sexual dynamics between women and blah
blah blah blah blah. That's Malton's trying to say that, right.
This guy, though, is editorializing, is being like, look, they
should have had Pacular and Sallenger scissoring for all they

(01:47:23):
were worth is what this guy's Well, if they went
the way of Paul Schwader's Cappy, you mean, hire a
really foxy actress and have her bow and her brother, Yeah,
they should have done that. It's basically people being like,
I don't know how to google in cestporn, so I
want every movie that I watch. What if this guy
has gone from moving a movie on IMDb and all

(01:47:45):
the trivia is just him editorializing about incestual lesbianic relationship,
just going I would have liked The Devil's Devil Wears Prada,
but I would have liked it much more if Emily
put and Anne Hathaway went at it for two and
a half hours while Meryl Street watched Wearing a Bus. Yeah,

(01:48:05):
we all would have preferred that, but it doesn't.

Speaker 4 (01:48:08):
It's so trivia's Trivia's That's like whenever I will, like,
you know, watch a Marvel movie, I want to, like
look at the trivia on IMDb, and then there'll be
like two hundred and seventy pieces of trivia, and like
more than half of it isn't trivia. It's just like, well,
this person was in this TV show. Three years later,
this other person at that TV show. It's like, what

(01:48:28):
is That's not trivia? What does that have to do
with the making of the movie or any people?

Speaker 3 (01:48:33):
He missed the IMDb forums, that's what it is.

Speaker 4 (01:48:36):
Yeah, I think I think you're right.

Speaker 3 (01:48:38):
Yeah, this is fantastic. And then this is the sort
of trivia that's written written by just an incredible nerdy
PEDTERNT Right, Jack is a Jack is about to board
an aircraft, a British HS one two five. The registration
scene under the wing is cfh SIM. How Canadian registration

(01:49:01):
prefixes switched from CF to a C starting in nineteen
seventy four by nineteen eighty eight, it would be highly
unlikely for this aircraft still to be carrying a CF
style registration. It should be C DASH FSIM by nineteen
eighty eight. Presumably the aircraft have been sitting around out
of use and thus for change to its apparent registration.

(01:49:24):
I don't know what that last sentence means, but this
guy needs to get.

Speaker 4 (01:49:27):
Out and give the thumbs down. I saw like the
helpful Yeah was it helpful?

Speaker 3 (01:49:31):
No? This isn't helpful in any way at all. It's
helpful to know who needs psychiatric treatment and who doesn't
and anyone being like that were the prefix on a
Canadian aircraft by nineteen eighty eight. Oh oh, it hurts
so much to be you. And another thing, guns only

(01:49:53):
hold six bullets. She clearly fired eight. He's like the
ne ulderground Tyson of annoying facts because you know in
Neil Degrass Tyson and there'll be a time travel movie
and he goes, well, of course, if time travel was real,
it wouldn't be possible for you to be able to
go back and see yourself in the past. Marty, Like,
what are you doing? What would actually happen is if

(01:50:15):
you went to the past, and you'd be like, shut up, Neil,
start ruining back to the future. It's a movie, and
you clearly need to get fucking laid. And another thing,
there's no way that Matt Damon would be able to
be trapped on Mars. Neil, we've told you before. Shut
up enough. Well, actually, Oppenheimer was only correct about four

(01:50:38):
percent of the time. Neil, We've taught like every every
fucking movie. De grass Tyson, are you actually like doing
anything to solve space?

Speaker 5 (01:50:46):
Or no?

Speaker 3 (01:50:46):
What what what I mean? Because you know Degrass Tyson's
palling around with musk and that fucking shower when he's
when he's not being recorded on the internet giving me
pills of wisdom about black holes.

Speaker 4 (01:50:58):
Well, get lead. Wasn't he somebody who got swopped up
on the me too thing? Didn't he?

Speaker 3 (01:51:04):
Probably anyone who wears a waistcoat with her stars and
moon on it and goes around with that kind of
suggestive mustache probably got that wrapped up in the me
too thing. I mean, if anyone screams me too in
a way, it's the grass. Tyson. I'm going to tell
you some interesting things about euradus. No you're not, No,

(01:51:28):
you're not, Tyson, Step back, step back. She's she's of age,
but it's still inappropriate.

Speaker 4 (01:51:38):
She's never a freaconsent. There's still consent here.

Speaker 3 (01:51:42):
Yeah, she might be of age, but no one here
is consenting to anything, Tyson, with your sleazy snooker player waistcoats.
I don't know if you know this, but snooker players
in the UK, much like jockeys in the world of racing,
where they're not very interesting people. Snooker players they're pretty

(01:52:02):
dull and they're like, yeah, coming from the man who
does three hour podcasts, about fucking Meredith Salinger. Yeah, okay,
but anyway, they're very dull, and in order to liven
them up, they wear like poka dot waistcoats or whatever,
and it will always be like the snooker player who's
known for his slightly risky waistcoats.

Speaker 4 (01:52:23):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:52:23):
I mean this one had eight pok dots on it,
and snooker regulations clearly state that no more than seven
poka dots should be seen at any given time on
a waistcoat. It's that sort of thing. The Grass Tyson's
waistcoats are like that, and it conjures up images of
sleazy poolholes in the middle of the night and him

(01:52:44):
being like, if I line up these cuballs like the planets,
They're like, I don't know why you get so aroused.
Now show me your black hole, now, Tyson. That's just
not it's just not appropriate. She's of age. No one's
saying there's anything improper happening, but she does not consent
to black holes or any of it. Einstein's theory of relativity,

(01:53:09):
I think the theory is that you should sling it
hoop to grass Tyson. But he would he would object
to this movie as well on the grounds of you know, well,
when the slug came out of her mouth and tried
to orally impregnate Meridith sanity. In reality, slugs are herbivores,
and slugs are actually ash actual and don't partaken. Oh

(01:53:32):
my god, Neil de Grass needs to die.

Speaker 4 (01:53:36):
The chlorine in the pool the slug to shrivel up,
and so it wouldn't have been able to survive in
the pool.

Speaker 3 (01:53:42):
Yes, actually, if the water is on fire, then oh
my god. He's the kind of guy like you'd never
want to get stuck behind Neil de Grass Tyson in
a movie theater because he's the kind of guy to
be watching Star Wars, the most fantastical, overblown, ridiculous, not
based on science in any way at all, film possible,

(01:54:02):
and he'd be like, rubbish, nonsense, It wouldn't happen like that. No, No,
Lightsabers wouldn't work. How are we telling the laser to
only go so far? Lasers go as far as until
they hit another object, and you're like, all right, degrass
Tyson anyway, Pendension random applause for Pendension because he created

(01:54:26):
I think a hitherto undiscovered gem. Everyone should go watch
it now, please do well. Now we've come to the
point where I'm pretty much forced to input tons of
annoying adverts into this. Yeah. Okay, it's long and rambling,
but it's still very enjoyable podcast. Right anyway, It's not

(01:54:47):
that I mind a company saying, hey, do you need
a toilet brush? Well, how about trying out toilet brush.
It's very good at being a toilet brush. It comes
in lots of colors, and it won't ever judge the
state of your toilet. I mean, after all, I'm also
the one that says, buy my albums and subscribe to Patreon.
You Fox, you know I'm that guy too, So I
don't mind that. But the lunatic people they employ to

(01:55:10):
do the teeth grindingly bad voiceovers, and then the music
and the attempts at comedy, and the millionaire celebrities hawking
shit from credit cards, and then the volume of all
the adverts. It just drives me apoplectic with rage. It's it,
ah am, I the only one that when an insurance
company advert comes on the TV, I want to find

(01:55:31):
whoever made it and repeatedly club their budgerygard to death
with a biker boot.

Speaker 4 (01:55:35):
Is it just me?

Speaker 3 (01:55:36):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (01:55:38):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:55:38):
All right? Then? Look, I can only assume, after all
that adverts are as bad and cretnous as they are
because they're actually working on some of you bastards. And
that's like the chicken or the egg thing. Our adverts
terrible because the worst they made them, the more successful
they are. Or have we all just become so oversaturated
with everything that adverts have to be, the screeching annoyances

(01:55:59):
that they and rammed down our throats so repeatedly, because
we're all zombivide into a hopeless stupor and all that
can break us out of it is some bleeding man
child in his ostrich yelling about fucking car insurance. Anyway,
me the aftermovie, Dina and our co host Matt Perrier
do not endorse any of the following adverts and think

(01:56:20):
you should probably just fast forward through the lot of them. Thanks,
Moving on, sir to a decade later. We shoot an
entire decade later to the world of Paul W. S
Anderson and David Webb peebles spelled peoples. But I have

(01:56:43):
an under good authority that him and his wife, I believe, Janet,
who I believe wrote blade Runner that they go by Peebles.
I believe they also wrote Terry Gillian movie Twelve Monkeys.

Speaker 4 (01:56:55):
That's right, that's right, because this is supposed to be
in the same universe as Blade Runner, which they never had. Really, yeah,
it's something that they now So he's people's said that
this was supposed to be like I guess maybe takes
place after Blade Runner, but it's supposed to be the
same universe, the same idea and so are the same

(01:57:16):
you know, yes, guess that shared world that Blade Runners in.
But they never advertise that at all, Like it wasn't
like you think like nowadays, right, it would have been
Soldier a Blade Runner story or something like that, you know,
but they don't mention it at all. The whole ad
campaign for this movie when it came out in the
nineties never mentioned it at once.

Speaker 3 (01:57:38):
Right, And Paul Anderson as a director known for Multi
Coombat Event Horizon, which is a fantastic horror movie in
space with Sam Neil Soldier, Resident Evil an Versus Predator,
Deaf Race with Jason Stephen, Resident Evil Afterlife, the Three
Muscadiners which I haven't seen, Resident Evil Attribution, POMPEII, and

(01:58:02):
then is he doing a did he do a remake
of the Monster Hunter movies? But this had Miya Jolovic
in it, Tony and Ron Perlman. Wow, Well, I mean
safe to say that I much prefer Paul W. S.
Anderson to Paul Thomas Anderson. I'm not a Paul Thomas

(01:58:23):
Anderson fan at all. I find his stuff to be
absolute pretentious, driveled. Well, didn't he just make that fucking
uh liquorice? Yeah, fucking fuck him up and down the
wall every day Monday, this Saturday, and three times on
Sunday with a fucking cattle produck. Paul Thomas had that

(01:58:44):
liquorice pizza. Well, we've been there before. We're not going
to go there again. Paul Doobis Anderson. Though I love
Event Horizon, I liked Resident Evil for what it was.
Any of us predators on the list of things to
watch Death Race, Death Race. I'm not usually a fan
of remakes, but I thought a pretty decent attempt. Plus
you still had Roger Coleman on as a producer. And

(01:59:05):
then there is an Evil sequels that they're perfectly fine.
They're not my overall cup of tea, but I'll give
it to him over Paul Thomas Anderson. Although I would
love to have seen Paul Thomas Anderson's Soldier, actually I
wouldn't Nine Hours long.

Speaker 4 (01:59:23):
And William H. Macy would have been playing the role
of Patrick's of Kurt role.

Speaker 3 (01:59:30):
He's been canceled though, because his wife tried to pay
to have that kid put in and he was like, yeah,
my wife did not me right, But what does that
say about your relationship? From William H. William H. Christ
So Matt Soldier must be something with it straight to
video nature and it's Kurt Russell starring thing that you
must have seen a long time ago.

Speaker 4 (01:59:50):
No, I never saw it, so oh this is to
me as well. So what happens when I remember when
it came out with theater and I looked at it
and I was like, I have no interest and seeing
that movie, and nobody that I knew wanted to see
it either. It just it looked ridiculous, and so we're like, Okay,
we're not going to see it. But I think because
it was so this was this was R rated, wasn't

(02:00:11):
it It was? Yeah, because it was so R rated,
and also because it did so poorly and it really
only has Kurt Russell. The other names are kind of
it for the two thousands it you know, they eventually
become bigger names. But it was never a TNT New Classic,
so it never had that second life that like a
Shashank Redemption had or fugely different, you know, those kind

(02:00:33):
of movies. So it just kind of died there. It
was one of those ones that like we knew it existed,
but it was almost like, you know, there's so many
other Kurt Russell's I'd rather see, and so when you
brought it up, I was like, it's one I'd always
meant to see, like I'd always wanted to see just
to say I saw it, just to be able to
understand that it existed. So when you mentioned it was like, Okay,
I'm really up for seeing this one again, at least
at the very least be able to say I saw it.

Speaker 3 (02:00:55):
Yeah. And it's funny because I don't know what I
was expecting going in or why it had such the
bad reputation that it had. It's not quite up there
with you know, how the Dunk and Cutthroat Island or whatever,
but it was certainly one of those where I think
a lot of people pinned a lot of hopes on it,

(02:01:16):
only to have those hopes dashed. Watching it now with
hindsight sort of many many years later, it feels a
little bit like it got the Escape from La treatment,
meaning that it is clearly, clearly an enormously derivative you know,

(02:01:37):
comic book of a movie that, much like Escape from La,
had a much too larger budget for what it was.
You know, Escape from La had like a fifty million
dollar budget, which in back then in the nineties was huge,
and I imagine that this was equally budgeted, just based

(02:01:58):
on some of the computer effects and other stuff had
they had going on in the in the movie. I
don't know exactly what it was budgeted at, because they
don't really say on IMDb anymore, but I.

Speaker 4 (02:02:08):
Think they gave it. I think they gave like an estimate.
They said sixty million. Yeah, and it's so made like fourteen.

Speaker 3 (02:02:15):
Right, So yeah, it's exactly and it sort of suffers
from Escape from La. And I think that syndrome, and
I think that with hindsight now it's it's a pretty
enjoyable rump. It's not It's not perfect by any means, right,
and it is derivative as fuck. I mean, first of all,
it's extraordinarily derivative of Universal Soldier one and two. I

(02:02:39):
mean that goes without saying, but it is hugely derivative
of those films. But it also cherry picks a nine
million and one sci fi tropes that you've seen a
thousand times and and dumps it all in the in
the mix, in the stew as it is. And I
I sometimes tolerate that, I sometimes can. I have to

(02:03:02):
say this time I pretty much tolerted it and quite
enjoyed it. It lost me with the ridiculous love montage,
which we'll get onto. But how did you feel about
some of the initial movie slash premise, you know, a
little bit RoboCop, a little bit Universal Soldia.

Speaker 4 (02:03:22):
Yeah, I mean it is. I mean I think the
thing is is Kurt Russell in the role, Like if this,
you know, this comes out ninety eight, Like if it
comes out five years later and it's been Diesel in
the role, it probably takes on a completely different life,
like right, even with all the flaws that are in
it and all the issues that are in all those things,
it probably I don't know that it spawns like three sequels,

(02:03:43):
but it possibly like it could have been that kind
of thing. But Kurt Russell, I think is too I
don't know to say deep as an actor, Like he's
he's got too much going for him as an actor
that like he can take Escape from La and really
play that part and do all the new and everything
like that, this role doesn't really have a lot of nuance.
And I feel like almost like he was looking for

(02:04:05):
the nuance and that's wh when you get like some
of those things like you're talking about, like the love
montage and stuff like that. But I agree with you.
I think the reason why I had so much disdain
for it when it came out was that the ad
campaign made it look ridiculous. Yeah, And I think that
was the problem was it just looks so silly because
it looks so derivative. It was like, I've seen this
eight million times. I don't want to see it again.

(02:04:26):
But now coming back to it, like you said, I
think it's a good I mean, it's what is it
like a buck forty five? Like it's not even that long,
and so you're kind of in and out really quickly,
and one thirty nine was even shorter than that, and
a chunk of that is taken up with the credits,
so it's like you kind of kind of move in
there kind of quickly. And so I think for like

(02:04:49):
an action movie of that period, especially you know Paul W.
S Anderson, I mean, it feels now that I've seen
more of his movies. I've seen The Resident Evils and
I've seen all of those, it feels kind of more
like one of his movies. Yeah, Like I think for
people that are watching his movies or you know, kind
of going through his catalog, this isn't one to skip.
I think it it It's definitely one I think over time,

(02:05:10):
I think now that you've kind of divorced it from
the the context that was in at the time, it's
like you said, it's not the greatest thing ever, but
it's you know, you've got friends over, and you got
some pizzas and some beers or some you know, peacha
coladas or whatever drinking definitely right, whatever anybody's drinking. I

(02:05:31):
think this is the kind of movie that people would,
you know, spend time with and relax with and have
a fun time with. I think that's that's the kind
of movie. And I think that's what it was supposed
to be for people going to the theater and have
it be a theater night. It's now more a home
theater night kind of movie.

Speaker 3 (02:05:45):
Yeah, it's how do you explain it? I mean, yeah,
Curt Russell is as wonderful as he is, as wonderful
as he is in The Row. You it does when
you see The New Soldiers, because at the very beginning
of the movie, right you are, you learn the history

(02:06:07):
of Kurt Russell's soldier character and you see him as
a kid being kind of traded. It's very sort of
Black Widow, right, Oh, they were taken out of their
junior schools and in Black Widow are forced to do
ballet because a ballet immediately leads to assassin. Apparently, if
you're in the Russian ballet, you're also Wick murdering people

(02:06:28):
John Wick. Also, yes, everyone Red Sparrow. Also everyone's gone
through the ballet Russian torture device. So this is essentially
sort of the Hitler youth slash Russian ballet torture slash
America of the future sort of thing with the children
handpicked to become soldiers, right, or even bread to become soldiers.

Speaker 4 (02:06:51):
Right, I think so?

Speaker 3 (02:06:52):
Yeah, genetically enhanced from birth and you know, trained and
raised and whatever, had the the personality will and everything
kind of beaten out of them, and they are the elite,
and they have been raised to be the elite. But then,
of course, you know, thirty five years in or however
old Russell's meant to be once we sort of see

(02:07:13):
him as an adult. Thirty five years in, along comes
Jason Isaacs. He's got in the style of Robocarp or whatever.
He's got a much better machine, a much better soldier,
much better whatever. And there is this sequence at the beginning,
and it's sort of it's both wonderfully stupid and also
weirdly touching. And that is when Kurt Russell and this

(02:07:39):
is squared off against this ridiculously enormous nineties muscle bound
eight foot tall guys. And this is where it doesn't work.
It's that Kurt Russell, for all his training three to
four hours a day, desperately trying to be Schwarzenegger or whatever,
he's never going to be stallone in Swartzenegger. It's he's

(02:08:00):
not even gonna be Van dam Like. He's Kurt Russell.
We love him and he's fucking awesome and he's great,
but like he's never going to be tall and he's
never going to be like super wide, So putting him
up against these enormous fucking marry looking muscular rock the
rock kind of vin Diesel types, it looks ridiculous. However,

(02:08:20):
it had this wonderful that sequence at the beginning, sort
of had that wonderful Pinocchio thing of sort of throwing
away the old toy, right sort of thing, or the
toy story thing of throwing away the old toy. Just
sort of that casting aside the way that Russell plays him,

(02:08:40):
especially when he sort of dropped to the floor, it's
sort of like a dead rag doll kind of thing,
the dead doll, the dead toy, the dead and so
I think if it wasn't for Paul W. S Anderson,
who I think when it comes to sort of big
vistas of CGI garbage spaceships, dumping Waiste out onto a night,

(02:09:01):
I think he knows exactly what he's doing. I actually
think those scenes look incredibly charming, almost like early CGI
is finally nowadays looking like stop motion used to look
to us when we were growing up, Like it finally
has sort of a charm. Early CGI has a charm
that current CGI just will never have kind of thing.

(02:09:24):
And so all those spaceship renderings and big planetary vistas
and you know, large trucks rolling over the desert landscapes,
you know, and explosions. You know, he's got that covered.
But there's a little too wiz bangery to really get
the rag doll thing. But Russell definitely is playing it

(02:09:47):
like that. He's definitely playing in a little bit operatic,
and it's certainly made a little operatic.

Speaker 4 (02:09:51):
Yeah, yeah, well, and I think also too of the
open spaces. Apparently they didn't want to shoot this as
much on a sound stage with his much CGI, but
Russell insisted on working out and getting more in shape
for the role, and it pushed production back by like
three or four months, so that like changed the look.
But in a way it's interesting because I think it

(02:10:14):
probably informed Paul W. S Anderson more on how he
wanted his movies to look, because he takes a lot
from this movie when he watched The Resident Evils, Like
you said, you know, those like those CGI vistas that
he creates. I mean it's almost like, yeah, he this movie.
It may not have turned out the way he wanted
it to, but I think it gave him some insight

(02:10:36):
on how to do this stuff later and it you know,
he makes those resident emal movies what they are.

Speaker 3 (02:10:41):
It's it certainly sort of is wasting money all over
the place. But again with hindsight, I don't mind that.
I like seeing big epic. It's sort of interesting because
I heard Bill Burrd talking about something the other day
when he was saying like he was talking about Heaven's
he was saying, you know, the seventies film bratt Era

(02:11:03):
really came to an end because when Heaven's Gate came out,
it was this massive flop and everyone said it's the
worst film ever. And he said, well, I started watching it,
and he said, if the first forty five minutes or
anything to go by, He's like, this is so far
from the worst film ever. People have no idea what
a bad film is. He was like, it looked amazing,
the acting was great, blah blah blah blah blah. And

(02:11:25):
I'm not going to say that Soldier is necessarily Heaven's Gate,
but it's definitely one of those where you've got a
first of all, if this came out in eighty eight,
it would be so much more revered than it coming
out in ninety eight, right, it's just a little late down.
It's a little late to the madness party. If it
was like ninety or even ninety two, you could get

(02:11:48):
away with it being this bonkers. But it's eighties bunkers,
So it's late ninety but it's eighties bunkers.

Speaker 4 (02:11:56):
Well, and this was supposed to come out then, so
people wrote this when he was writing Blade Runner, right,
So he'd been shopping this for years, so that probably
explains that deal.

Speaker 3 (02:12:06):
Yeah, yeah, definitely. But it's it's what I mean by
eighties bonkers. It's my favorite kind of movie where you
just go, oh, they're just doing whatever they want, like
that someone just fucking snorted three lines of amphetamines and
just when you know, fuck it, we're gonna we're gonna
do this ridiculous, you know, over the top thing. And
it was glorious and it has that in spades, and

(02:12:30):
it's certainly I think where it is done the disservices.
You can tell the themes that people's is playing with, right,
So he's because what's what's really lovely at the end
of the movie is that Russell wins purely on what
they haven't trained the new soldiers on which is cunning, patience, intelligence, strategy,

(02:12:57):
and they haven't taught them any of that. They just
want these soldiers to just be enormous brutes with massive
guns and that's going to take care of all their
problems in a sort of RoboCop type satire. And then
and again, there's so much that's being played with here.
There's there's the Pinocchio story of you know, I want
to be a real boy. There's themes of you know,

(02:13:18):
honor and cunning and intelligence and romance. And there's also
the idea that is the military ultimately brainwashing a generation
of people. There is you know, fear of technology. There
is then there's sort of sci fi fantasy ideas of
or even maybe science fiction ideas but of you know

(02:13:40):
garbage planets where we just dump our rubbish for the
rest of eternity, which then you see crop up in
TV shows like Loki. I mean, there is literally a
whole sub planet in the TV series Loki that is
basically the planet that soldier takes place on. It is
it is both heavy influenced, but I also think a

(02:14:02):
little influential in its own way. However, matt let us
not short change the ending of this movie, Sir, let
us talk about Kurt Russell basically becoming Commando. Let's talk
about that, because that was fucking glorious.

Speaker 4 (02:14:19):
Yeah, it was. I think there was a I wasn't
sure how they were gonna go with this, right, and
I think, like you said, the way that they decided
to go with it where it's that fit, you know,
I think you know all those traits you were talking about, right,
that that Kurt Russell's old model has that they don't have.
The other was the fuel experience piece, right that he's

(02:14:42):
thirty five years of being out and so he's used
to battles, he's used to to fighting and everything. Well,
it's a tortures and that right, right, Yeah, and it's
it's one of the things when I just recently watched
Superman too, and I wish they had done more of
that work. Like Superman is used to using his powers
for thirteen years, and then Za in company are they're
they're new to them and they are that that's their

(02:15:02):
their disadvantage. This movie does that perfectly. So it's like
you've got the story part of it where it kind
of makes sense where he's like, you know, how is
he gonna fight all of these guys at once? Okay,
he's gonna put the odds in his favor to all
these things, but then the payoff with each kill, it's
just so fait like, like Anderson doesn't short chains on
on on this this ending here, and we get the

(02:15:25):
money's worth there. And I think that is an area
where I think, you know, I wish this movie had. Yeah,
I think I wish it had gotten a better reception.

Speaker 3 (02:15:34):
You know what this movie was lacking. This movie was
lacking Brian James. That's what this movie was lacking in
from this movie had a Brian James hall in it,
because why is Brian Like, You've got Gary Busey. First
of all, you've gone, you've gone full blown eighties Henchman

(02:15:55):
over the Hill, though by this point, right over the
Hill Eighties Henchman possibly would be action style of his own,
but never quite made it. Gary Busey in the movie,
and what a pleasure he is. But then you've got
sort of the thin mustache twirling villain of Jason Isaacs,
which I'm not a fan of at all.

Speaker 4 (02:16:18):
And he does so many things at this time too.
He's like it's It's interesting to see him juxtaposed with
Bucy because Isaacs represents kind of the more of the
newer movies. Like he was just in everything as this
character from like nineteen ninety five on, whereas Bucy was
pre ninety five, like he's you know, predator to you know,

(02:16:39):
he sees our heat, you know, he's lethal weapon, all
those kinds of things. So someone's even they were getting
like the old in the New Model, but Bucy, like
you said, like like Bucy brings like that, this baucy quality.

Speaker 3 (02:16:50):
To it that just is.

Speaker 4 (02:16:51):
Yeah, it's fantastic, but but it.

Speaker 3 (02:16:54):
Needs it needs a Brian Jays. Yes, yeah, it needs
it needs the third to quote the INTI movie, it
needs a third type of heat.

Speaker 4 (02:17:03):
Yes, yeah, exactly, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (02:17:04):
And I'm missing Brian James in this. And I think
if you had James and Bucy gang up on Isaacs,
because the trouble is this movie makes Isaacs the big bad.
It's like everyone else is going to die in Isaacs. Well,
Isaacs is a simpering, whimpering, you know, corporate stooge with

(02:17:25):
a with a dick dastardly mustache, you know what I mean.
It's it's he's not interesting. Kurt Russell will fart and
kill him. Like it's not unless Kurt Russell is going
to tie him limb upon limb to four trucks and
then have them all drive apart at equal speed. That
I would watch. But in general, you want to see

(02:17:48):
Bucy and Brian James go up against Russell. That's who
you want to see, with fire exploding behind him and
rain lashing down and little sparkles of fire and flag.
I mean, the end of this movie is just gorgeous,
isn't it.

Speaker 4 (02:18:05):
It was beautiful, Yeah, fire and dust and yeah, I
mean the brand James you described acting like a beret
with his army uniform. Yeah, and he's like like just
like a look like I don't know what Bucy's rank was,
but he'd be like one rank below Bucy. And the
two of them are just like yeah, and they're figuring
out what to do with this Isaacs guy, and they're

(02:18:27):
sort of biding their time, you know, before they Yeah,
I mean maybe a whip or a writing crop too
with with I don't know, Yes, it's.

Speaker 3 (02:18:35):
Like a hollow whip or some futuristic gubbins. Yeah, and
and maybe he's just cold whip because Garry Busey is
just called church, right, I mean, at least Jason Isaacs
gets a rank. He's Colonel Meekham, right right, But yeah,

(02:18:56):
so I think you could have church and whip and
gay abuse. He's gonna take you to church.

Speaker 4 (02:19:02):
That's yeah, I mean you because the bucy one. He's
like the most interesting. You said, Isaac is so one
note and but also we've just seen his one note
so many times, like it's so many places put your
notes away, exactly right, I mean there are other characters
to me, I mean put port Shawn per Tweet.

Speaker 3 (02:19:23):
You know. Pertwe is sort of being used in this
movie a bit like Neil Marshall would use him, because
Shan Pertree kind of has two roles. Yeah, this shows
up in genre fair like this, or he turns up
in sort of indie geezer movies. But I love him.
He's one of my Like I love Sean Pertwee. He's
one of my favorites.

Speaker 4 (02:19:42):
Yes, and what I.

Speaker 3 (02:19:47):
We can't bring up Pertree without talking about the worst
love trying because.

Speaker 4 (02:19:52):
It made no sense that like, why couldn't Pertwee just
be married to somebody else? And she she you know totally.
I can't believe. I'm drying now. I'm drying like she
could have been the sister of She could be per
Tree's sister or sister in law, so that there wouldn't
have been any need for a love triangle thing to

(02:20:14):
have to kill per Tree off, because that's what they
have to have any to do to make the because
because you can't have him cheating on. You know, our
hero could be a cheat, right, he can't be, you know,
a flanderer.

Speaker 3 (02:20:23):
But but what it means is that he is, you know,
he is more or less honorable to his best friend,
more or less when I say more or less, because
essentially there is a and your what sounds like someone
strangling and your scored love montage in no uncertain terms

(02:20:46):
is like the Wayne's world dream we've seen with dad
Acwod's wife or the head of Locklear Heather being that
it's that sort of you expect them to start exaggeratingly
like licking the lips or like rubbing their nipples against
the glass in some kind of Jim Carrey type way,
like you really expect. All the while in the background

(02:21:08):
it's all like yeah, like and you're being.

Speaker 4 (02:21:14):
They felt like these sessions singers in la and they
said sound like like Loreena McKennitt. It's like, yeah, okay,
all right, I'll do my best lorau.

Speaker 3 (02:21:21):
You know.

Speaker 4 (02:21:22):
It's like yeah, but it's like it's like like it.
But it also had like this like drummond bass thing
in the background to it.

Speaker 3 (02:21:28):
Yeah. Yeah, because there was a whole sort of it
was said in space. But what people love to do
is be like, right, but what if it's the past?
But in space. So because they were because they'd all
been dumped here on this garbage planet, this trash planet,
they had to build these encampments themselves, and so that

(02:21:50):
it gives the set direct set dresser much in the
way that it would on Stargate or whatever. It'd be like,
oh great, I can use all this leftover Egyptian and
you know, African mumbo jumbo and just sort of throw
it into a part and be like, well, they're all
just wearing the rags of the past, and they're you know,
sheltering under flags and top aaul in and various weird

(02:22:13):
things that can blow in the wind and stuff. I mean,
it has I think it probably had the same set
dresser as desert heat Inferno, probably because they just like
fabric wind and various sense of a sense of sort
of mysticism without any actual belief structure, you know what
I mean, just a vague sense that someone somewhere probably
believes in a sun god or something, you know what

(02:22:34):
I mean exactly.

Speaker 4 (02:22:36):
Yeah, it's it's it's just such a weird cont you're right,
Like it's like you have the weird I mean, this
is Paul W. S Anderson, right, he can he could
do this really fantastic end. Yeah, this isn't Pandensium right right,
Pandensim can can probably transition us from both right, he
could do what Pandension would have been, like, now let's

(02:22:56):
just bring in another you know, bringing another woman? Yeah, yeah,
you know.

Speaker 3 (02:23:02):
Is dand Akrod's wife of venom. Can we get Dona
Dixon down exactly?

Speaker 4 (02:23:09):
Yea, because it's like it but it was like but
then like like Russell is trying to play the part, right,
and and Russell is used to being the charismatic male
lead who was like just you know, like, oh, Kim
Catrell wants to be with me, you know whatever.

Speaker 3 (02:23:26):
This movie really and I understand like someone like Russell
wanting to play against type. He would do so, I
think to much better credit in Breakdown, where he sort
of plays the week yuppie, and he does. He does.
His performance in Breakdown never gets enough credit the fact
that you he took the action persona of Russell that

(02:23:50):
we know very well at that point and goes no, no, no,
no no, this guy is going to be an action hero.
But he's going to be an action hero as a
regular Joe thrown into extreme circumstances. I'm not gonna be
super strong. I'm not gonna know martial arts, i don't
know how to fire a gun. I'm gonna be perpetually nervous,

(02:24:11):
and I'm basically gonna survive simply because I have the
will to do so. And you know, I get a
few lucky breaks. And he plays all that at never.
At one point is he like, right, saddle up the horses, Pilgrim,
we're going hunting. Like he's never he never goes into
his full snake persona. And I think that that's when
I think of Kurt Russell as while many many people

(02:24:34):
will say, ah, he's always Kurt Russell, I one hundred
percent don't agree. I think he is a phenomenal actor
who puts nuanced into even a character like Snake Plisken,
but and even into a character like this, I just
think he's saddled with some hokey material because I think
that while peoples can definitely do sort of like the

(02:24:57):
fairy tale narrative as sci fi, mixed with quite a
decent amount of pathos, mixed with questions of well, what
does it mean to be a human? Like that's those
are sort of people's sort of big tent poles, and
he tends to sort of write around those things, and then,
like with Twelve Monkeys, it's like, well, what if I'm

(02:25:20):
not where I think I am? What if I'm actually
in this other time? And what does that mean for
my humanity? Coupled with all those other things like people
likes to splash around in this part, And I think
that the presentation of some of that material, especially the
love story, seems overly convoluted, cumbersome, and I think lets

(02:25:42):
down what was probably written better on the page.

Speaker 4 (02:25:47):
Yeah, No, I totally agree. I think I don't know
how you. I think it's one of those things where
I don't know how you execute that without it looking
hokey with the music and the montage. I don't think
they need the montage, right, I think I already understood.

Speaker 3 (02:26:04):
From Kurt Russell's slight glance when she touched his hand
or whatever to they were already acting it. I didn't
need to see them licking lips at each other. It's
like in Inferno. I need to see Van Dam eating
that woman's pie. I need to see it. I need

(02:26:26):
to see Van Dam licking and chomping on that woman's
apple pie in order to get the full effect of
the romance that is about to blostom between them. With
Kurt Russell and Connie Nielsen, I don't need the moment
he showed up, Yes, and essentially if people could have written, oh,

(02:26:48):
woman like, that's how he played it, because he kind
of woke up and immediately, of course, she was like
mopping his wounds, and oh, what is this strange woman
that I have to deal with? Right there? From that
moment on, I've seen enough movies where I'm like, oh,
if anything happens to pertly they are having sex, But

(02:27:11):
they are, and how long are they waiting? A week?
Probably not even that. It was.

Speaker 4 (02:27:16):
It was like the moment they got on the ship.
After everything was done, they were you know which three.

Speaker 3 (02:27:21):
He was barely cold in the ground exactly.

Speaker 4 (02:27:24):
It was like you knew because you knew he was
dead the moment that that that Russell made eyes and
they made eyes at each other, you knew he was
dead because that was the only way it was going
to work in the movie, which is just like why
like you again, like.

Speaker 3 (02:27:39):
Well, this movie is full of what I call it
the cliche shortcut, which is, how do we get out
of this situation so that he can fund Connie Nielsen.
Oh well, of course his best friend has to die.
It's just the cliche shortcut.

Speaker 4 (02:27:51):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:27:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:27:53):
So but I think what it's like, you know, it
betrays other parts of the movie that it is even
though they're ropes or cliches or whatever, they just worked
that in a fun way.

Speaker 3 (02:28:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:28:04):
Yeah, it's like yeah, I mean I think you know,
you watch this one with friends and it's like you're
gonna see that scene and you're just gonna laugh, like
and it's I think it's okay, it's a laugh at it.
I think it's you know, it's it's funny.

Speaker 3 (02:28:14):
Yeah, I mean, this is this is gonna be absolute sacrilege,
and people might go, how has this guy hosted a
movie show for as long as he's hosted? But I
prefer this to Blade Runner. I genuinely do. I genuinely do,
because there are too many cuts of Blade Runner, and
everyone has an opinion on what well that's true, Okay
that I out of it matter because I watched one

(02:28:36):
of the cuts have an opinion on the film, and
then people go, oh, what cut did you watch? Doesn't
fucking matter. What cut I watched doesn't matter. If the
script is there, and if the acting is there, and
if the directing is there, they wouldn't be eighteen fucking
cuts of the thing. Well, if you watch the final cut,
that's not as good as the director's cut, which is
only half as good as the theatrical cut. Shut up, yeah,

(02:28:58):
Like I could show you any out of Army of
Darkness and it should work as Army of Darkness, and
your opinion on Army of Darkness is good whether you
watch the European, the American, or the director's cut of
the film. Similarly, with Dawn of the Dead, any if
you watch the Dario Agenda cut of Dawn of the Dead,
and that's the only one you've ever seen. You've still
seen Dawn of the Dead, so you don't get to go, well,

(02:29:20):
you know, only one version of Blade Runner is a
good version of Blade Runner. No, you don't get to
do it. And I've run rings around you logically.

Speaker 4 (02:29:27):
Yeah, you know, it's funny. Recently I watched Superman two
and then the Donner cut of Superman two, and even
though they're very different, right, there's like all different scenes,
all this stuff, the but to your point, the basic
story in concepts and things like that, even though there's differences,
they're the same movie in that sense, Like, I don't
you know, it's not like Donner, Oh, his version was

(02:29:48):
so much better than Lester's, right, and it's like, no,
they both have the same kind of hope, you know,
like you know, they still do.

Speaker 3 (02:29:54):
The wood would Donna have included? Isn't there a scene
where like a bathroom blows away and a guy's cover
in soap and runs off screen or something I think
at the end where like during the whole like wind
taking over the Manhattan City or whatever, isn't that oh
guy's wig blows off? Right, there's a lot of slapstick.

(02:30:16):
Richard Leicester, Peter Sella's nonsense.

Speaker 4 (02:30:18):
That's right. Leicester's yeah, he doesn't do it as much
in part two as he does when when he gets
a hold of Part three, it's all that. But part two,
yeah he does. You're right, he does a little bit,
but he was still a little bit more beholden to Donners.

Speaker 3 (02:30:33):
Like. My feeling was that when I rewatched Zoomerman two recently,
was the and I say recently, I mean within the
last five years, was that it was even more ridiculous
in slapstick than I remember it being. It wasn't the
wonderful movie that I remember it being. It was like
Lester kind of fucked it.

Speaker 4 (02:30:51):
Yeah, you know cause Donnor's Donner's parts of it or
were similar, like he you know, it wasn't I guess
it wasn't quite You're right, it wasn't quite to Leester
does put a little it in there.

Speaker 3 (02:31:00):
He was.

Speaker 4 (02:31:01):
He tempered it a bit as well, but it was like, yeah,
what he I guess, I guess, you're right, Like what
when he replaced scenes he was doing doing more of it.
But but some of the ones that were in the
Donner cut, like the kid falling over the ledge at
the Niagara Falls, that was in there too.

Speaker 3 (02:31:16):
Yeah, So, like I feel like Lester is sort of
what John Landis is to Beverly Hills Cup. Oh right, right,
you can watch it, but you have to watch it
as a Landis movie. Yeah, yeah, so Superman two you
have to watch as a leicster movie rather than a
Superman movie.

Speaker 4 (02:31:31):
Yeah, you know, yeah, because I mean it's still it's
not to the same degree as Superman three. Superman three
is just all Lester, all slapstick all the time. That
part two, the Donner cut of it, felt like it
still had enough of like it. I guess you're right though,
that you're right, it does have more of that slapsticks
if I don't, you know, by the day.

Speaker 3 (02:31:52):
Superman is a hard character to do because you can't
go wacky with him because it doesn't really It's a
bit like Captain America. You can't go fully wacky with him, right,
but if you play him to square jawed, you know,
peace love in the American way, he's just boring, right.

(02:32:13):
But he should never I mean the two things. He
should never be foolish like truly, and I don't mean
Clark Kent. Clark Kent should be foolish like the way
we've plays Clark Kent is oscar Worthy, oscar Worthy. It's phenomenal.

Speaker 4 (02:32:27):
Yeah, it's like Lloyd.

Speaker 3 (02:32:30):
Lloyd. Yeah, but subtle and beautiful and wonderful. And I'll
always give him credit for that. You believe, just like
you believed a Man Can Fly, which was the sort
of tagline that movie. You also believe that no one
would notice that Superman was just a guy with glasses
on because how different Reeves played, and that that is

(02:32:52):
a real death acting job, you know, and again does
not get enough credit for it. I'd be interested to
see this new documentary that's coming.

Speaker 4 (02:32:59):
Out to him soon.

Speaker 3 (02:33:00):
Yeah, but I think they really have. But the Superman
franchise for the wrong directors.

Speaker 4 (02:33:05):
I think well, And I think the other thing too,
is that Superman one is so good and it's different,
like where Kevin pronounced the way we're pronouncing Kevin fij
or fij. Kevin Piche says he watches the first Superman
every time he makes it. They make a new Marvel movie, Well,
it's perfectly fine for Marvel to do that because they
can just pull what they need from it and then

(02:33:25):
go about doing the rest of it. Whereas for Superman
and with Batman, right, Batman is completely separate, Like Tim
Burton makes his own Batman and now everybody can make
their own Batman's now, Christopher, no one can make his
own Batman. Ben affleck of his own Batman. But Superman
was such like the archetype of like comic book movie
that like it's I don't know, like how DC makes

(02:33:45):
another Superman movie and it's not just gonna be like, oh,
it's not Christopher Reeves as Superman, like I think they Yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (02:33:53):
Really know why they recall Superman. Oh why they ever
thought that hack Snyder was the way to go, because yeah,
I told them, what a massive mistake.

Speaker 4 (02:34:01):
Oh god, what a Messine and Kevin Castner, he just
sold Kevin Costner's I mean, you watched that first Superman
where you've got Glenn Ford who just has a heart attack.
You know, he tries to chase run with his son
and he.

Speaker 3 (02:34:11):
Has right but this right, And I always any people
who write people out there who are fucking hack Snyder
enthusiasts or hack Snyder apologists, right, right, What does Superman
learn from his father having a heart attack Versus what
does Superman learn when his father needlessly, I might add,

(02:34:36):
completely and utterly, needlessly sacrifices himself to a hurricane. Right.
What what are the two messages there? Right? That's that's
my problem is that Hack Snyder epitomizes, as does almost

(02:34:57):
every Hollywood remake in the last twenty years. To paraphrase
Sherlock Holmes, you have seen, but you do not observe,
meaning that they watch these original movies, or they watch
these original superhero films and they go, well, yeah, the
dad has to die, right, and you go no, No.

(02:35:19):
The point is not that the dad had to die.
The point is that the dad dies of a heart attack.
It's why the end of Superman ruins the beginning of Superman.
But also why I understand why they're like, well, he
never learned the lesson of whatever, But then they didn't
go on and do like a Superman pays Penance movie,
so it becomes a problem. But the whole point is

(02:35:43):
it's meant to be there are some things Superman cannot solve.
There are some things Superman cannot fix. That's meant to
be the whole point of that message. Not Kevin Costner
because he's Kevin Costner. Can legacy sacrifices himself to a
storm that his own son could quite easily get him
out of. In fact, his own son could pick up

(02:36:04):
those women, fly them halfway around the world, drop them,
fly back to his dad, save his dad, pick him up,
drop him in the Bahamas, put a coconut drink in
his hand, and then fly off to London and give
some ridiculous speech in the House of Commons, all within
the time that the hurricane hit the car. But no,
you know, Kevin Caster wants to fucking I'm stepping out

(02:36:26):
of this picture. Son. No, I can easily save you Dad. No,
don't save me. No, No, but I can save you
because I'm Superman. I am souper.

Speaker 4 (02:36:34):
Like.

Speaker 3 (02:36:34):
The whole point is that I can save you.

Speaker 4 (02:36:36):
But but he's like, no, I'm Kevin Caster. I have
to have my moment. I have to have my Kevin.

Speaker 3 (02:36:41):
It's like the Hack Sneider. I hate Hacks Sneider so much.

Speaker 4 (02:36:46):
And the person who suffers the most out of that
whole thing is Henry Cavell.

Speaker 3 (02:36:51):
Yeah, he seems like a perfectly decent guy. I would
love to see him continue with Superman.

Speaker 4 (02:36:55):
Yeah, and he gets he gets a short end of
that so yeah, it's but I.

Speaker 3 (02:36:58):
Would have liked to have seen Brandon Mouth continued, and
they did. They only gave him one movie, and I
thought he deserved much better. I mean the movie he
was in was yeah, poop, but he was very good in.

Speaker 4 (02:37:09):
It, right, yeah, and now he's doing Christmas movies on
Lifetime unfortunately.

Speaker 3 (02:37:13):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:37:14):
Oh Kevin Smith fild right, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:37:17):
It's like but yeah, it's it's, it's it's it's odd
to me, but so go met Soldier and like it
more than Blade Round. What I mean by that is, look,
it's it's Soldier is far from perfect. It really is
far from perfect, but it both borrows enough tropes that
I'm enjoying while labeling on a little of the David

(02:37:39):
Peebles sci fi allegory stuff while giving me like Kurt
Russell as Commando. It's sort of like a Pem entertainment
movie with a budget. That's what they say. It's like
a peerm entertainment movie with a budget, and I I
sort of love all of those aspects of it. Does

(02:37:59):
it have some horrible clunky moments? Yes, a thousand percent?
And does it piss a lot of money away on things?
That doesn't need to yes one hundred percent. And when
Sean Pertree's character died, did Kurt Russell's character secretly think
in his head, now I can fuck your wife? The
answer is yes, exactly, And again it's it's to your

(02:38:21):
point because it's because the audience and this is a problem.
This is another problem with Soldier. So I'm going to
now attack Soldier for the same thing that I would
attack Hack Snider for. Because the audience wants Sean Pertwee
to die so that Kurt Russell can have sex with
Connie Nielsen, because the audience is way more invested in

(02:38:43):
that than they are. And whatever Sean Pertree is doing,
because I like Sean Pertree is just too good to
be true, right, Sean Portree is too you know, good
to be true. We want a little bit of rough
around the age is Kurt Russell. He's seen some action.
We want to see some action, if you know what
I mean, And I think you do. And so the

(02:39:04):
audience wants shot, like will shot Sean Pertrae to die.
That's that's not good. I meant to like Sean Pertrae,
not will him to die. And so I think, yeah,
him being the thing that stands between Russell and Nielsen
consummating this bizarre affair that's scored by Enya and all

(02:39:25):
communicated in furtive glances like this is a nineteen thirties
Nol Coward play where people walk getting out of rooms
and go darling, I Ah, I'm sorry, I why am
I here? Oh gosh, oh oh shucks a oh anyway, ethel,

(02:39:46):
it's time for dinner. Oh, and then shuts the door
and then goes downstairs and goes, why couldn't I just
tell her that I love her? Like it's it's this
sort of level, you know, you know what I mean,
like the costumes of Old.

Speaker 4 (02:40:01):
And again, like this movie had a sixty million dollars budget.
You're gonna tell me you couldn't spend a little bit
on a female character actor to play Petrie's wife and
have Connie Nielsen play the sister and have him just
watching her, like, you know, doing laundry and stuff with
the sister, and and and so then we don't have
to we don't have to move.

Speaker 3 (02:40:22):
Let's have a laundry scene mat with with with two
of them, right, Let's Connie Connie Nilson. Now we get
back to that guy who is writing on a kiss
about lesbianic incest. Right, you're the Matt You're the guy
writing the trivia where you're like, it's a good movie,
but it would be great if Connie Hillson and Sean Pertry,

(02:40:44):
let's have a put a character actor in that. Let's
just say, I don't know Joanna Pacuna or whatever her
name is, Pacula, Uh, Johanna Pacula and Connie Nielson maybe
they're doing that.

Speaker 4 (02:40:55):
Pacula would have been perfect for the older sister. She
wouldn't have cost that much. You know, she's very all.
She's married to Petrie and you know they've got the kid, and.

Speaker 3 (02:41:04):
Her and Connie Nilson are in a laundromat somewhere on
this desolate moon and they yeah, they get a little
steamy because of the dryer sheets, and you know, maybe,
just maybe, and then you'd go on to IMDb. But like,
I think Soldier would work a lot better if it
had explored the incestual lesbian relationship between Johanna Pacular. Yeah,

(02:41:33):
Lendon Malton would have liked it if there was a
lot more lesbian dinner. I'm sure he wouldn't have done.
Malton your filth Basket True Story Malton. Malton likes a
sissor session. So listen, I have it on good authority.
People have said, you know, allegedly the rumor mill would

(02:41:58):
have it. Maltin's a little bit of a randy bastard
for the old lesbo action. That's listen. I'm just going
by what it says on IMDb trivia. I can either
confirm nor deny the alleged loving of lesbian spy Malten.

Speaker 4 (02:42:14):
We can look. We can see whether he thought of
Bound in ninety six, even had that he was like
it's one of his top ten for ninety six.

Speaker 3 (02:42:21):
Yeah, of course he did. Because Ebott was frotting violently
in the cinema while he was.

Speaker 4 (02:42:29):
Can you imagine watching I guess there's a point where
he didn't watch movies in the theater with the common
rabble anymore. But like, can you imagine like like in this.

Speaker 3 (02:42:38):
In a vast teacup sized chair in his own private
screening room by teacup I mean like teacup ride, Like
there's enormous like teacup ride size, but this is like
a big golden red leather upholstered thrown to Ebot's giant ego.

(02:42:58):
He just said, saying he goes John Carbon thumbs down,
and you're like, fuck you, Ebon and everything that you
stand for being like, well, I thought the Coen Brothers
first film was interesting, but I thought that Raising Arizona
just was entirely too foolish. Ebert, You've been warned. Yeah,
find out what he thought about the lesbian action of
Bound and maybe the sex scenes in Spader's Super and OVAs. Yeah. Yeah,

(02:43:26):
but I liked it, and I liked the short perchry
conne Niels a bit. But yes, it was ridiculous. It
was basically there were vast sections of it that were
basically the you know, the handy woodsman who the maiden
of the house, do you know what I mean? She's

(02:43:47):
out scrubbing clothes against a washboard, you know, in a
lake in Mississippi, perspiring gently, and then out of the
woods comes some shirtless hunt with her axe, and he
just like bends down and puts the logs down by
her feet and goes for you, melady, and then like

(02:44:08):
walks off again, and she's just oh, the vapors. Every
time he comes out of the woods with a different
implement of death, often with like he's got like three
sheep slung over his shoulder and he just flops him down.
He's like for you, mylady, like the beginning of Princess
Brian with as you wish or whatever, like whatever she
tells him to do, he's just and she's always just

(02:44:30):
scrubbing with the washboard, ye perspiring. Her house dress has
just popped open a little bit, just revealing enough eighteenth
century cleavage to get the woodsman hot under the non
existent collar because he's taking his shirt off. You know,
like when they made Pride and Prejudice sexy, it was
all Colin Firth coming out of the water and people

(02:44:52):
are like, good BlimE me Colin Firth in a wet
T shirt competition, Sign me up, mate, Remember when they
made I did this all like, oh my goodness, Colin
Firth on the BBC at eight o'clock at night. Oh
cover up, Colin. Oh send Grandma's across the Grandpa, could

(02:45:16):
you go fetch me some tea and biscuits? I want
to be alone with Colin Firth. I'm overcome. Well that's
what this movie was like. Kurt Russell would like, come
in holding a tray of pop purri or something that
you've been gathering in the non existent woodland or whatever

(02:45:37):
that's outside, and he comes in and she's like cleaning
a child in a tin bathtub or something, and he'd
be like, oh, I didn't realize, Oh I'm sorry, and
then I brought this, oh gosh, and then he put
it down and like run out again. And it's basically
the equivalent of the English and Marjorie I, oh, oh gosh, darn.

(02:46:00):
If you've ever seen Brief Encounter with Trevor Howard, the
whole movie, the whole movie, you know they're having a
love affair, but the whole movie is just like he
touches her shoulder and she's like, oh, not in public, Gerald,
you know, like, oh, I'm overcoff by the shoulder touch
of Trevor Howard. And he's like, damn it. Do you

(02:46:20):
think people knew because I touched your shoulder? And secretly
with fucking every lunchtime, I think they know? Gerald? But yes,
that's that's what all British drama was, and that's what
Soldier was like, well with a commando rambow and.

Speaker 4 (02:46:36):
But it's all that. But it's not just Trevor Howard
like stumbling over his words. It's Trevor Howard was just
sitting there staring as like the montage is kind of
flowing over him, and then.

Speaker 3 (02:46:49):
He's stumbling in his head, right, Kurt Russell is projecting
when he walks. Yeah, when he walks into room and
just stands there, you feel all the awkwardness without Russell
having a sail work, but it is.

Speaker 4 (02:47:03):
It would have been, like you said, it would have
been a lot more fun if we didn't have to
bump off Paratweet to do it, you know, right, yeah, yeah,
because for.

Speaker 3 (02:47:11):
The whole movie we're like, well, look, this is one
of two things are going to happen. Either he's going
to cheat on Nielsen, oh sorry, on Pertwee, which can't
happen and redeem him. There's no way to redeem him
if he cheats on Pertree, just none at all. Or
you have to suddenly make per Tree really a bad

(02:47:32):
mats like you have to show that suddenly even though
he's been nothing but inhumanly nice. Two. By the way,
this Kurt Russell trained over thirty five years killing machine
that he lets into his home with his wife. He's
been nothing but understanding, empathetic, kind, loving and everything. You

(02:47:54):
have to either turn him on a diamond, make him
a right bastard, maybe like rapes Nielson, know something.

Speaker 4 (02:48:00):
Horrible like or like he turns over he works in
cahoots with that.

Speaker 3 (02:48:04):
With yeah, with Jason I that yeah, yeah, that's so.
In other words, the only other thing that they could
do is kill him and then then we're okay with it,
And that's what they did. Yeah, and how okay were
you with it? No? I was?

Speaker 4 (02:48:17):
I did you know? It was one of those things
where I was like complete after Russell. I liked, you know,
he was my favorite character. So I was like, you know,
like you said, he comes off really nice. He's you know,
he you know.

Speaker 3 (02:48:30):
I mean, I think you've got to give that six months.
You've got to give that six months. Maybe you can
do some over the clothes work at about the three
and a half month mark, but you can't, Yeah, you can't.
You can't go skin on skin until at least the
fifth to six month mark. I think you need two months,
by the way, where you both wear black and don't

(02:48:52):
touch anything at all, not even war, and you just
skulk about supermarkets. That's what you need, because we need
to know that you flagellated yourself then you move to
like pouring tea, and when a slight droplet spills out
of the teacup, coquettishly, you go with a napkin to

(02:49:14):
like dab her thigh or something because the tea splashed
on the thigh and she grabs your hand and in
that moment your eyes met. You're allowed to do that
at like three and a half months, right, but then
you have to let her wipe her own thigh. You
can't wipe the thigh. By five months, you can possibly
wipe the thigh, and then you're not getting anywhere near

(02:49:36):
the crown jewels until at least seven or eight months
in my world, in terms of moral superiority or whatever
you want to call it.

Speaker 4 (02:49:44):
Well, and I also think pertweets his character is so
nice that when he's dying next to Brussel, who was like,
realize me, you can't save him, and he's like, you're
gonna leave me here, I'm gonna die. In his head,
he's also thinking you're gonna go fuck my wife. But
he's not gonna stay no.

Speaker 3 (02:50:01):
But he's thinking, right, yea, pern't we If I was
writing this film, Pertwee would like, in his gasp like
last gasping breaths while his bloody fingers are just touching,
like Russell's perfect cheek and he's just touching. Don't let

(02:50:23):
me go, don't let me go. I feel cold. I
feel cold, like he's dying. The last words that come
out of his mouth isten, don't please Todd, don't fuck
my wife. Don't don't fuck my wife, and he dies,
and then Russell is just sort of left holding him,

(02:50:44):
and he's like, what do I do with that?

Speaker 4 (02:50:47):
What do I do with that?

Speaker 3 (02:50:49):
He's dead. He doesn't care. He's dead. He's not coming
back to life. This isn't returnatly dead. But if I
now go fuck his wife, I'm the worst man on
the planet. Like I am a I am a scumbag
at the level of adult hit. But again, Matt, I
subscribe to that when you're dead, you're dead, So I

(02:51:12):
don't really care what you said when you were alive.
Once you're dead, you're never gonna know. Well, you're never
ever gonna know that. I'm gonna fuck your wife. And
I'm not even gonna wait six months to do it.

Speaker 4 (02:51:22):
I will say that would because of selfish for paratry
to be like, don't fuck my wife because it's like, but,
like you said, he's dead, He's gonna be dead.

Speaker 3 (02:51:29):
You know what is you know He's like, don't, don't,
and Curt's just like yeah, but you know, over time,
you know when when when when when a few months
have passed, if she needs a shoulder to cry, No, no, no,
not even then, not if, not even if she takes
a fleet of inappropriate lovers, all of whom treat her

(02:51:53):
like absolute garbage and do just such depraved sexual acts
to her that she is the shallow, shallow husk of
the woman she used to be. Not even then, are you,
Kurt Russell? The entire Minnesota hockey team can folk my wife,

(02:52:13):
but you, Kurt Russell. Never And Kurt's like no, no,
but like overtime, like overtime, like a few Like let's say,
I'll give you a year, I'll give you And he's like, no, no,
not even a year. He's like coughing up blood and
stuff and he's like, no, not even a year. Not

(02:52:36):
even if the entire armed forces of Quebec soil my
wife's bitches. I'm like, so wait, she can be let's
just say it, gang banged by the entire military forces
of Quebec Canada. But I your best friend, the man
who loved you, the man who you are dying in

(02:52:58):
his arms. I'm not a lawd to sleep with you. No, No,
you'll never even if she pleads with you, even if
she begs, even if she gets down on all fours
and barks like a dog. Yeah, Kurt Russell just like

(02:53:20):
fucking shoots himself. He's just like, I can't.

Speaker 4 (02:53:23):
That's the end of the movie. Yeah, A states it ready.
She's like, why are you killing yourself? Your husband said
that I can't have sex with you.

Speaker 3 (02:53:30):
Yeah. Yeah. He actually got very graphic about the Minnesota
hockey team soiling your bed sheets and attacking you in
such a rambunctious sexual fashion as to leave you the
shallow husk of the woman you once were. He said
he'd be absolutely fine with that, no problem, no problem
with that at all, no problem with you appearing in

(02:53:54):
a military Quebec themed Bukkake playhouse. But if you were
to so look at me wrong, he would know and
he would curse our lives together forever. I mean that
would that would put a spook on a man, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (02:54:12):
Yeah, there's nothing you can do the death wish you can't.
You know that the dying wish you can't.

Speaker 3 (02:54:19):
Seems to think that his wife is about to get
up to some heinous acts.

Speaker 4 (02:54:24):
And because that's the thing, right, because he's such a Nike,
he's that nice of a guy that he knows Russell
is waiting for for him for the last heartbeat so
he can bury him and go fuck his wife. And
he's like, he's like, I'm not going to say it.
You know what, this is my I'm not going to
taint my my death with anything, Petty. I'm just gonna

(02:54:44):
thank him. And you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna die
like this.

Speaker 3 (02:54:47):
And but that's his last thought. That's his last thought.
His last thought is the image of Russell penetrating his patrol.

Speaker 4 (02:54:58):
And it is people's gaping this because he was whatever.
He didn't want to have an extra woman in the film.

Speaker 3 (02:55:08):
Could have just just Joanna Pacula was available.

Speaker 4 (02:55:11):
She would have done it, just put in she's Petrie's wife.
And and then you know, you know, it's not even
his sister, it's it's her sister. So he can't even
He's not even like, you're gonna fuck by, don't fuck
my sister, right, because it's like it not even your sister,
it's it's Paculi sister. Yeah, Connie Nielsen is pacular sister,
so you didn't even have to worry about that.

Speaker 3 (02:55:31):
But they definitely definitely have underlying lesbian interests in each other.
Otherwise we will not get a good review from Lennond Moulton.
But no, it goes full blown commando at the end
of it. Lots of explosions, lots of fights, lots of
sweating in the rain and flames and everything else. It

(02:55:52):
looks the absolute business. Kurt Russell does really well in
the film, He really does. Connie Nielson does okay in
the movie. Short Pertry is great, Gary Busey is mad.
It's missing Brian James and Joanna Pacula. But apart from that,
I have to say that it is one of those
where people are like, oh, I heard it was the

(02:56:13):
worst film ever. This is very, very very far from
the worst film ever. And just think of it like
Escape from La. If you can find the right eyes
and the right headspace to watch Escape from La and
see it for the fucking awesome sequel that it is,
then you can enjoy a soldier that's that's my ultimate releas.

Speaker 4 (02:56:33):
Yeah, I mean I think I like Escape from La
better than this one. But it's definitely one of those
ones that the commercials. When I think of the commercials,
maybe I should see if they were any on YouTube
before I before we did the episode, to see if
they were as bad as I remember them. But I
just remember, I mean, it didn't do it any service, Like,
didn't do it any famous. It looked horrible, and so

(02:56:53):
I was like, well, I'm never gonna watch this. I
don't there's no point now, you know, when I go
on on IMDb, there are a lot of people that
are championing this movie now. They're talking about how great
it is and everything, and so really, yeah, there are
definitely some fans of it on IMDb in terms of
like the user ratings, and you know, I don't know
if I have it that high. I mean, I know
it's funny because I gave you know, The Kiss three stars,

(02:57:15):
and I'm kind of verging on three stars for this
as well. And they're completely different three stars, like how
they come about getting their three stars. They're completely different,
you know. But I do think this movie it it
didn't like you said, it's there's nowhere near worst movie
of all time. There are so many movies that are
way worse than this movie. I don't even know if

(02:57:37):
it's like like even like for action movies of the nineties,
like big budget action movies of the nineties, that I'd
have it in a worst category. I think there is
definitely other ones. I can't think of any off the
top of my head, but there's definitely I mean water World,
but Kevin Costner, I mean.

Speaker 3 (02:57:49):
That's I think that's worse than this. Accept Untouchables, I
like that one. Yeah, But you know a lot of
people talk about we have this running joke now on
the show about great runs. People have great runs in movies.
I have to say, Kurt Russell from even from eighty six,
even if we don't even take an Escape from New York,

(02:58:10):
you've got the best of times, Big Troubling, Little China,
Overboard Tequila, Sunrise, Winter People. I don't know what that is,
but against six point two, so it must be decent.
Tango and Cash, Classic Backdraft, Great Unlawful Entry, Creepy and
Great Captain Run a little better than you remember being.
It's actually not so bad. Tombstone one of the greatest

(02:58:31):
movies ever made, one of my top five greatest movies
ever made. Forrest Gump does the Elvis Presley voice, and
then you've got Stargate, Executive Decision, Escape from l A Breakdown,
and Soldier. That's a run. That's a run. That's a
twelve year run of pretty great movies that is then
only soiled by three thousand Miles to Great Sand, where
at least he gets the best part in it. Yes,

(02:58:53):
but you know, and he gets to do the Elvis
moves over the end credits. But in general, isn't it
not a great movie? But up until then a fantastic run.

Speaker 4 (02:59:04):
Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, he he's always
kind of been known, as you know, from especially eighties
and nineties, you know, kind of that mid eighties to
the mid to late nineties periods as one of the greats.
And I think I think that may have also hurt
him with Soldier as well, because I think people had
an idea of what they thought Kurt Russell was and

(02:59:24):
when they saw that he was going to be in
Soldier and so at the so you know, there's a
few things that hurt this movie. I think it's it's
that I think it's also that the audience had kind
of shifted away from these kind of action movies, you know,
especially I always think like nineteen ninety four is kind
of the starting point, and then it's just like each
year after there's like one, you know, and I think
then nine to eleven kind of kills the whole thing

(02:59:45):
off because then it's like, well, we can't have you know,
it took until like Avengers in twenty fourteen to make
movies where buildings are blowing up in New York again.
But but you know, I think, I think Russell, I
think that all of that makes it so that this
movie was like one of those ones that people just
didn't touch.

Speaker 3 (03:00:01):
You know.

Speaker 4 (03:00:02):
It looked like, I don't know, like like like crystal
pepsi or something. It was like one of those things
where people whether it tasted good or not, it didn't matter.
People weren't going to bother with it, right, And maybe
that that run in a way hurts this movie because
that run was so fantastic that people looked at this
as the dud when it really wasn't the dud. It
wasn't the dud in his career for at that point.

Speaker 3 (03:00:23):
But also that run of five Stargate ex Active Decision,
Escape from La Breakdown Soldier, You would be forgiven for
thinking that he is basically all the same kind of
anti hero action star in each one, but actually again,
vastly different characters in each film. Yeah, you know, you don't.
Here's the way to put it. You don't watch this

(03:00:44):
movie for Kurt Russell because he's not at his most
Kurt Russell nurse right, right. However, you do watch this
movie for Kurt Russell because under him not being Kurt Russell,
he's being what Kurt so truly is is a phenomenal actor,

(03:01:04):
even in the worst bit of Like.

Speaker 4 (03:01:06):
Yeah, no, I totally agree. Yeah, and I think you
know now that we're so farre what you know, twenty
five years, twenty six years past this, I think it's safe.

Speaker 3 (03:01:16):
Maybe it is the right term.

Speaker 4 (03:01:17):
People can go and re visit this one, or visit
it for the first time, because I think a lot
of people are like us who just never saw it,
never got around to it. I think you watch it
and take you know, none of that baggage that was
there in the late nineties for it is going to
be there now, and you know, you can watch it
just for what it is, and you know all the
words and flaws and everything, but also the nights and

(03:01:39):
good parts as well.

Speaker 3 (03:01:40):
In general, this is a very transitional time in cinema,
So the late nineties into the two thousands, it's it's
very difficult to pin down kind of what the look
and feel is of the movies of those days. And
to quote something from a movie from that era, Strange
Days in it, Tom Sizemore about you'll know, you know,

(03:02:02):
we'll never make another hundred years because everything's been done.
Every hastile has been tried, every music's been tried, every drink,
every whatever. And it is true as we go into
the two thousands, because there's no way to sort of
define the noughts, the tens, the twenties so far, because
they are such a hodgepodge of cherry picking from the

(03:02:25):
previous one hundred years that it is odd to think that,
you know, this comes out right on the cusp of well,
who are we going to become, you know, as a
as a cultural people.

Speaker 4 (03:02:38):
No, I think you're absolutely correct. This movie is as
much that I think as as you know, and and
and you know, when you get into the two thousands
of the TNT New Classic period where they're just grabbing
movies from kind of just slightly before this area, this era,
and they're just you know, you know, giving them new
life on weekends on TNT. Right, you know, this movie

(03:02:58):
got passed over for that. This was not one that
they were going to consider for that they were going
to use. It's not I don't think it's it's you know,
I mean, it's it's a Warner Brothers film, but they
don't have it on Max or anything like that. It's
it's it's so it's kind of been lost to time
in a way, but everybody knows it. It's not like
a forgotten movie, because if you mentioned Soldier, everybody got
an opinion whether they've seen it or not. Yeah, it's

(03:03:20):
like it's also forgotten.

Speaker 3 (03:03:22):
You know, the bloated budgets of both this and Escape
from La both of which probably again eight or nine
years earlier, could be made for a lot less. I
think we're also at a point which sort of now
comes every ten years, but sort of used to come
sort of every twenty years, where excess builds, builds, builds,

(03:03:42):
builds builds, and then like the bow breaks right, and
then we have to kind of go back to austerity
and then you know, it builds again. And I feel
like this and Escape from La were to some extent
typifying that age of excess in a weird way coming
to an end, only for then blockbusters to sort of
rise again, you know, ten or twelve years later, because

(03:04:07):
I think, as I say, the excess comes back.

Speaker 4 (03:04:09):
Yeah, I mean, I think people want to look at
the movies like the Marvels the same way in twenty
five years, people doing podcasts that are gonna look at
the Marvels and say, like, yeah, what was so bad
about this movie? I don't understand. You know, they're gonna
miss some of the aspects, like, you know, for example,
the building of the Captain Marvel character. She probably needed
her Superman too, Like she probably didn't need to jump
into a movie where she's getting watered down with it,
you know. But they also spent two hundred twenty five

(03:04:31):
million or whatever. It was too fifty. It was like,
did it need all that much money for an hour
and forty five minute movie? You know, so all those
kinds of things, and I think it's kind of similar
with this movie. Right, It's like did it need sixty
million for an hour and a half. Probably probably just.

Speaker 3 (03:04:46):
Make no mistake that sixty million in ninety eight is
almost the equivalent of like a two hundred and three
hundred million dollar movie today now you have bigger budgets. Actually, no,
I think Jurassic Park, weirdly enough, hovers around the same
budget and yet does a lot better in terms of

(03:05:07):
sort of realism and special effects and also obviously storytelling.
But it's definitely you know, back back then, these were
a pictures. This was intended to open. Big Soldier was
everywhere the year that it came out, and it you know,
it did die with a fart and a whimpers sadly,

(03:05:28):
but you know, it was a time. It was sort
of the last age of excess until more recent Marvel
and DC times.

Speaker 4 (03:05:38):
Yeah, well right, I mean, because it's it's you know,
these probably the one that's been stung by it worse
right with the whole Justice League to Bakle on all that,
and I think people thought Marvel would never face it,
and then last year they still don't get it fully right,
because they get the Guardians of the Galaxy movie did well.
But you know, and I guess the other part of

(03:05:58):
where too is his age and change, and so now
it's like those younger millennials that were like, I'm going
to see every Marvel thing when it comes out. Now
they've got kids and they're like, Okay, I'm gonna go
see one movie in the theater. What I'm gonna see, Well,
it's gonna be guarding into the Galaxy, because I know them.
It's not gonna be the Marvels. It's not, you know,
but I think, you know, it's almost like I wonder
if Kevin fij if he reads the room better, because

(03:06:22):
it's almost like he has this whole wealth of knowledge
that he uses for these Like I kind of feel
like he saw this whole thing coming, okay, and I
know I know also that Well that's.

Speaker 3 (03:06:32):
Why dead pull the Wolverine. I know everyone's joking like,
oh he's Marvel Jesus, But that's totally why I got
Greenland one and ten percent is that he looked around feeds,
looked around and went, what character do we now own? Yeah,
of the entire comment with realm that can come in

(03:06:54):
and both single handedly reboot whatever ridiculous like because there
was two there was sort of thing, multiple things going
on in and I think This is the other problem
as well. In Marvel phase one you have and I
know there was like the part one, there was like
five phases in part but you know what I mean,

(03:07:14):
Marvel the first twelve years, right you are? You go, Well,
we've got to establish the Avengers, all right. Well that's
six movies there, establishing all the different characters, right except
the Hulk, which we already did. It was a failure,
but nobody remembers it and whatever. So we're going to
do you know, Iron Man and Thor and Captain America
and whatever. We don't. We won't do a black Widow.
Why she's a woman. Don't worry about it. Move on.

(03:07:37):
We'll do Black Widow later and sort of try and
wreckcon crowbar it back into the franchises if we always
intended to stick it fourteen years after Scarlett R. Hanson
had done thankless role after thankless role after thankless role
in movie after movie. Do we do all the characters?
All right? We got those, then we've got sequels to those, right,

(03:07:57):
but those sequels have to be about something. Well, we're
all towards Thanos Thanas, all right, Thanos is going to
be the big bad all right, then we're gonna have Avengers, Well,
what's going to happen? Avengers aliens? Aliens related to than
Us will make sure they related to Thanos later on
in the movie. Don't worry about it. I figure right
now the second half of their storyline, you've got the

(03:08:18):
whole Marbles and Eternals and all this sort of stuff
going on, none of which anybody is interested in the slightest.
Then you've got the multiverse stories where people are like, well,
you know, and you have that superpower creep thing where
basically people get tired of the fact that your characters

(03:08:38):
can do basically whatever they want, and you have that
overload or that creeping special effects and superhero nonsense and
blah blah blah blah blah, and none of them are
really telling any stories anymore, and nothing has any consequences
because if someone dies in one reality, they can plug
around with another reality and it's you know, we don't
know where it's heading. And then oh no, Jonathan Major's

(03:08:59):
is an asshole and a creep, and we have to
get rid of him. And the only character, the only
character that Marvel owned and could swoop in comment on
all of that, reccon getting rid of Jonathan Major's reccon
how time travel and the multiverse works, because they're like, well,

(03:09:20):
you know, Loki, that you liked watching on TV where
the time travel stuff looks like a Where's Anderson movie
shot on Instagram, Well that will do a bit more
of that because they're basically they watched Where's Anderson movies
and John Wick and went, oh, people like suicide Girls
but with like classy venues with a hint of the seventies. Great,

(03:09:41):
that explains, like, Loki, right, we're going to do that.
We're going to throw Deadpool, and Deadpool is the answer,
Like that's that's And they tried everyone else. They tried
fucking ant Man, and they tried Spider Man, and they
tried the Mars Marvel and all that stuff. No, the

(03:10:01):
only person who could do it was was Deadpool. But
the trouble is is that I think Feed just thinks
that's all he has to do. It's give us a
Deadpool movie and then whatever the story they want to
tell going forward will just be explained by the fact of, Oh,
Deadpool unwrote the line we were going down where we're

(03:10:26):
going to wreck on everything to be about this new thing,
and so whereas the most interesting exploration of the idea
of Jonathan Major's character actually happens in Loki, the TV show,
where it's much more suited to explore like deep I

(03:10:47):
hate to use the term because everyone hates him as well,
but Joss Whedon's style examinations of time travel, which is
I wouldn't be surprised even though I hadn't city his
name on the writing list. I wouldn't be surprised if
Just Weed or one of his Buffy writers had something
to do with the end of Loki, because it is
it is so weed and esque. It's ridiculous, yeah, but

(03:11:11):
but in a really good way. And I think that
I think they draw a line now, and I would
like what I would like to see is I would
like to see them start introducing new characters with new
origin movies and and tell interesting stories with them. I
think we kind of draw a line from all the
old characters and move on, because I think they've learned

(03:11:32):
that they can't, you know, they can't keep doing that.
It's not it's not gonna it's not gonna work. Now.

Speaker 4 (03:11:38):
I think people forget about the Iron Man movies. The
first two Iron Man movies is that they they really
established him.

Speaker 3 (03:11:45):
You know, the third one as well. I absolutely wanted
the third one. I mean, the third one is my favorite.

Speaker 4 (03:11:51):
But yes, but like because they did the first two
before they even did an Avengers movie, they did two
Iron movies, so they really make sure you but you're right.
Then they have the third one. You know, after the
first Avengers movie, they kind of introduced him to the
next piece. But you know, I think they they I
don't think they realized like what that meant, that like, Okay,
if we're gonna make Iron Man the guy who's the

(03:12:12):
center of it all, we're gonna do two movies with
just him and focus. I mean they added you know,
black Widow in the second one, but we're really gonna
center them around him. They don't do enough of that now.
I think the O Deadpool they did right. They had two,
he had two movies that were centered around him, and
so he was really established as a character. You know,
Wolverine has really been established as a character. You know,
they add these new characters, they've got to I think

(03:12:33):
they've got to let them reade. You know, they need
a couple of movies before they start just throwing them
in with everybody else. You know that you can't water
them down right away, you know. I think that's that's
a piece that they're gonna you know, but we'll see.
We'll see if they do that when they introduce these
these characters, or if they do what they do with
Captain Marvel, or they just you know, oh, you know,
let's add a whole bunch of other people with her,

(03:12:54):
and you know not to you know, and people were like,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (03:12:58):
Know what was what was his storyline? She got her
origin story, but then after that, the only you know,
the only use she is unless you go because the
thing is, in order for her stories to be interesting,
you have to have genuine like distress on a planetary level. Well,

(03:13:19):
Marvel has made their business setting up planetary level distress
over the course of multiple movies. With then the Avengers
needed to come together and fight the planetary distress every
few years. If you can just waive a Miss Marvel,
magic wand and and sort this out, the Avengers movies suffer,

(03:13:41):
and also Miss Marvel suffers because if you keep telling
big planetary distress movies with Miss Marvel, what do the
Avengers movies become?

Speaker 4 (03:13:51):
Like?

Speaker 3 (03:13:52):
What are we fighting in the big overarching thing and
and and you know, it's become like the X Files.
To me, I'm like, I want a Monster of the
Week story. I don't care about the bag over conspiracy thing.

Speaker 4 (03:14:04):
Yeah. Well, I think I think she needed her Iron
Man too, right, She needed a Mickey Rourke as villain
who was equal to her, you know. And I mean
that's the other thing with that Marvel's movie that whatever
Darbin or whatever, that character wasn't really a great battie.

Speaker 3 (03:14:17):
You know.

Speaker 4 (03:14:17):
She needed a battye that was equal to her. And
and maybe those other two Marvels help her a little bit,
but it needed to focus on her a little bit more.
And yeah, you know, maybe it's something that's there is
on an Earth level that's like, you know, a Superman
kind of style thing where it's like, you know, saving it.
I don't know, you know, I don't know, but yeah,
it's gonna be interesting to see. It's gonna be interesting
to see how they pivot from from, you know, because

(03:14:39):
like you said, they've kind of been given new life
with the Deadpool thing in a way that all these
other franchises have not really had. I mean, I guess,
you know, you know, like like like DC, they kind
of just went under and they were just like they
just hold James gunn to just scrap it all and
create something new, you know.

Speaker 3 (03:14:54):
Star Wars, the DC thing. I just it's very odd
to me, Yeah, because it's it's staring you in the face.
How to do all of those characters as well? Yes,
you know what I mean, Like there is And I
think this is also what sort of blows my mind
a little bit, because if you're really struggling, if you're

(03:15:17):
really really really struggling, you have one hundred years or
seventy five years or whatever it is of comic books
to draw from, right right, you know, I mean just
look at well, what story did we tell in nineteen
seventy five or whatever it was, you know what I mean?
I just think that, And I think they're also trying
to do way too much like do a movie story

(03:15:39):
or do a TV thing. But if I have to watch,
you know, twelve episodes of Loki and three movies in
order to you know, go to Deadpool Wolverine, that's not great, right,
you know.

Speaker 4 (03:15:52):
Right which tecondly you did? I mean, yeah, and you
make a great point too. I think about the you know, like,
look at Star Trek. You know, first movie comes out.
They trying to do two thousand and one of Space
Odyssey and it you know, it did well in the theater,
but it was like critically it was a flop. So
it's like, okay, well, what do we do for number two?
Like they did exactly what you're saying. They went and

(03:16:12):
watched all the episodes and said, who is a character
that would be a great battye? Oh? This con guy
from this one episode, one that.

Speaker 3 (03:16:19):
We'd already seen twice. We saw him in an episode
and in a major motion picture, by the way, the
best Star Trek film there was ever, So right, exactly
why try and redo con?

Speaker 4 (03:16:29):
I mean, it's like, yeah, the new Star Trek for sure,
they didn't need to bother. I was I was in
the original Star Trek where.

Speaker 3 (03:16:35):
The original right, let's go back to the soul spirity.

Speaker 4 (03:16:37):
Yes, right, Because at very first, like one and seventy nine,
they were like, we don't want to be Star Wars,
we don't want to be Superman. Let's do two thousand
and one. We're we're Star Trek. I got it, Yeah,
and it didn't work. So then they were like, Okay,
let's go watch the movies or the TV shows, and
let's let's do something for the second one. And they,
like you said, it's the best one out of all
of them, and the least.

Speaker 3 (03:16:58):
Weirdly enough, it's the least Star Trek of the lot
because Star Trek tends to be more like science fiction
rather than an action movie in space. It tends to
be more commenting on our current day. But we weren't
feeling very self reflected by the time we got to
the early eighties. We were wanting you know Thatcher Reagan

(03:17:19):
and Coke and Pepsi and Michael Jackson and you know whatever,
the pop socks and Neon jumpsuits. That's what we wanted.
We didn't want to think back, and so, you know,
Shattner versus Montabarn was just about all we could handle.

Speaker 4 (03:17:34):
Yes, it was perfect.

Speaker 3 (03:17:35):
Great.

Speaker 4 (03:17:36):
Well, because the fourth one, that's the one that's more
like your Marvel you know, Team Up Adventure Rock.

Speaker 3 (03:17:42):
Well, the fourth one is more like an episode of
the TV series, right where the fourth one is like,
we have an actual problem to solve, and the only
people who can solve it is a spaceship with time travel.
Oh look, we have a spaceship with time travel. Let's
go solve it. But it's a but it's a it's
a film about the environment and about how we treat
nature and blah blah blah blah blah, and that's what

(03:18:02):
the movie is about. And they just said it in
a sort of fish out of water story. But almost
every episode of the original series was a fish out
of water story because they were landing on a new
planet every week, and every new planet had a new problem,
and the problems were generated by allegories of what was
happening in the sixties. And yeah, they just did the

(03:18:25):
same thing for you know, they go down the action
adventure Star Wars route for part two and part three.
Then for part four they go back to the original
series and try and do something like that. For part
five they give Shantoner the helm and they're like, that
was an enormous mistake. Never do that again. And for

(03:18:47):
part six they were like, who did a good Star
Trek movie? They were like, the only man who's ever
managed to do a good Star Trek movie is Nicholas Meyer.
What do you mean, Yeah he did two and four,
Well let that. Let let him do part six as well.

Speaker 4 (03:19:00):
Because they're actually gonna get Nimoy to do it, but
they thought that if they had Nimoy do six, so
he's the executive producer, but they thought if he did,
it would be rubbing it in Shatner's face.

Speaker 3 (03:19:10):
Five.

Speaker 4 (03:19:12):
He did three and four, did three and four because
Shatner was supposed to do four, but he was doing
t J. Hooker, and so Shatner does five. It's horrible.
So Nimoy was going to come back and do six,
and they were like, no, no, you can't. It's just
gonna be rubbing into space. So it's right they I
think the guy who did number two to come back
and do.

Speaker 3 (03:19:29):
Six, Nicholas Smye, who wrote four as well.

Speaker 4 (03:19:32):
Yeah, exactly. Because one of the things is that Guyan
was supposed to be in or you know, Willie Goldberg
was supposed to be in Part six, and Nimo was like, well, no,
we can't have somebody that big in the movie. But
then Christian Slater's mom was a casting director and she
knew he was a fan, so he was like, yeah,
you want to be in the movie. You could be
in the movie. So it's like suddenly, you know, so yeah,
it kind of goofy stuff that was happening now on

(03:19:53):
that that last movie of there is that sixth one.
But yeah, all good.

Speaker 3 (03:19:58):
But I will say that Soldier is well worth your time.
It doesn't knock everything out of the park, No, but
if you loosen the reins a little bit, the horse
will guide you.

Speaker 4 (03:20:11):
Yes, I agree completely, Yeah, and you will.

Speaker 3 (03:20:14):
Have a good time with it. And for this delve
Matt into both my vhs draws of Wonder and movies
by famous people that I really like that I haven't
seen yet, but I do own. I think this has
been a success of her.

Speaker 4 (03:20:30):
I agree. I agree both too, right, they're both entertaining movies.
I enjoyed watching both of them, which was Yeah, I
think you're right. Yeah, we'll see how often this happens, but.

Speaker 3 (03:20:41):
Well we can, but hope next week we're going to
do beas the movie No Bags the movie and the
Donald Pleasants film Jaguar Lives with Christ Fallee. Guarantee neither
film will be anywhere near as good as this, But

(03:21:03):
that's what we're doing next week. No, I'm kidding, No,
we are, Matt. You have to watch both those films. No,
don't watch any of those don't watch any of this, no,
but Matt, those are the films we're doing. But don't
watch those films. But those are the movies we're doing.
So tune in next week. Tune in next week. Thank

(03:21:25):
you ever so much, Matt. Thanks for this wonderful podcast.
I'm sorry it's so late. Go to bed, that's all right,
and thanks again.

Speaker 4 (03:21:31):
This has been great absolutely just as well. It's a
lot of fun. I had a great time as well.

Speaker 3 (03:21:35):
Wonderful. And tell people where they can find you.

Speaker 4 (03:21:38):
Oh, DTV Connoisseur dot blogspot dot com. That's where you
can find everything site, everything the world has to offer,
everything everything DT direct to video, Connoisseur related novels, Don's
House in the Mountains. That's my newest one. That's it's
been out for about a year now. Pick that up
on there. The podcast which John was on recently when

(03:22:01):
we did Inferno. Yeah, it was hilarious. My friend, my
friend Mike will listen to it. First. I listened to
the podcast like, listen to one seventy three with with
John's it's hilarious when he's like he text me back,
Oh that was hilarious. I loved it. I was like
dying it was great. So yeah, great episode there. So
that's on you know, all major podcasters and YouTube. I
don't know if I'm gonna do anything else with YouTube,

(03:22:23):
but at least for right now, you can get the
podcast on there.

Speaker 3 (03:22:26):
Yeah, my speaker account automatically sends it to YouTube. I
don't really have anything to do with it, but it does.
But no, thank you so much Matt for being on
the show. This has been a thrill and a pleasure.
And we will do it all again. We will figure
it all out and will do it all again. Thanks
so much, man, got a real good one.

Speaker 4 (03:22:44):
Bye.

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Season 2 - Ep 16 - The Kiss & Soldier

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Season 2 - Ep 16 - The Kiss & Soldier