August 1, 2025 • 25 mins
How to Get Off the Sidelines and Into Your Life
Have you ever held yourself back from showing up—on video, in business, or even in your personal life—because you felt like you had to “fix” yourself first?
In this deeply honest and practical episode, I’m joined by embodiment coach Emily Wishall to explore how body shame quietly holds us back… and what it actually takes to step fully into our confidence and visibility.
We’re talking about:
💫 What “embodiment” actually means (and how to feel it)
💫 The toxic lie of waiting to be perfect before you lead
💫 How shame keeps us small—and how to begin healing it
💫 Simple daily practices to reconnect with your body and power
This is one of those conversations I wish I had years ago. Whether you're a coach, creator, or just someone ready to be seen—you don’t want to miss this one.
🎧 Grab Emily’s free guided practice “Stop the Body Hate” at: https://emilywishall.com
👉 Connect with Emily:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emily_wishall
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wishallwellness
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@EmilyWishall
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilywishall/
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
✨ Grab More Free Resources & Connect with Me (Amanda):
📕 Thrive & Scale Expert Blueprint: https://thecoachesplaza.com/the-thrive-and-scale-blueprint
🎙️ Subscribe to the podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-amanda-kaufman-show/id1450993176
📺 Watch full episodes + coaching tips: https://www.youtube.com/@theamandakaufmanshow
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theamandakaufman
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandackaufman/
👥 Join Clients Over Chaos: https://login.thecoachesplaza.com/communities/groups/clients-over-chaos/home
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in theshadows, by making you think you're alone,
(00:29):
Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show.
And I am so excited about this episode because frankly, this is a conversation that I wishthat I had like eight years ago when I was very first starting my entrepreneurial journey
as a coach.
But, you know, universe works the way it does.
(00:50):
And so I got a chance to meet Emily Wishall, who is an embodiment coach.
She's a certified Rollfer and
author of Radical Embodiment, a practical guide to celebrating the skin you're in.
And she helps women break free from body shame, self-doubt and exhaustion so they canreclaim confidence, strength and sensuality and step fully into their lives.
(01:16):
Like I said, I was really excited to meet Emily.
We are paths crossed as they do in the entrepreneurial circuits.
And I was just blown away with the body of knowledge that she had, but also the way shetalked about it.
So I couldn't wait to have her on the show to talk about embodiment and confidence and allthe things.
Emily, welcome to the show.
Well, thanks, Amanda.
(01:37):
I'm happy to be here.
What a nice intro and greeting.
my pleasure, my pleasure.
Now, the reason why I said that, I wanted to know you eight years ago, and I'm glad we metnow, but geez, you know, sometimes, sometimes you just sort of think, what would life have
been like?
You know, when I very first started, I didn't want to take a picture.
I didn't want to be on video.
(01:58):
I didn't want to embody.
I didn't want anybody to see my body.
I had so much, you know, shame and negativity and all that that I...
I did then had to work through.
did a lot of work.
But I wonder if meeting somebody like you a lot sooner might have helped me, you know,meet me where I was at and go the path even faster.
(02:19):
So that's why I'm like so excited to have you on the show, because I know that that's nota unique experience, you know.
A lot of entrepreneurs and especially female entrepreneurs really hold themselves backfrom visibility and from the things that are like necessities to success.
but it's because there's something else that's like going on in a much deeper way.
(02:40):
So you shared your mission is to help women get off the sideline of their lives.
And it sparked in me.
was like, wow, you why that mission?
You could do anything because you are super knowledgeable, but why is that so important toyou?
Yeah, I mean there's a lot there and I just appreciate you sharing a little of your ownjourney and I'm like, wow, look at you now, not only podcast, but like you're on video too
(03:04):
and doing that consistently and regularly.
Like you're being so, you know, visible and that's a big thing, right?
Maybe for a lot of entrepreneurs, but I think a lot of women and that's, specifically workwith.
with women and however someone identifies of course can be struggling with these things.
I just identify as female and that's the lane that I know and can really hold and sothat's why, that's the lane I choose to be, stay in.
(03:26):
But it can be hard to be visible, right?
Because we have so many self judgments or what we see online and compare ourselves to thatand so there's a lot there.
But in regards to your...
specific question of why is my mission to help women get off the sidelines is because ofmy own story because of years of feeling like I wasn't enough because I felt like I was in
(03:47):
quotes you know fat I was too fat and I first felt that at age eight which is insane andunfortunately that's a very very common experience maybe doesn't always happen at eight
years old for women but I know for most of the clients I work with pretty much all itstarted in childhood when they started to
dislike their body, when they started to pull apart their body, from that, thosejudgments, they would pull apart themselves, right?
(04:10):
We go into these stories of making it mean something about our enoughness, or because ofthe shape or size of our body, it has something to do with our sense of worthiness.
And there can be this underlying current.
whether it is very conscious or whether it is maybe more on the subconscious level runningthe show for so many women that has them believe they can't go after and have what they
(04:37):
desire in life until their body looks a certain way or until they lose the five pounds orget back into those jeans they wore, you know, pre-pregnancy or in college, that, you they
can't.
be really visible in their business, right?
It's like, okay, I'm doing okay, I'm doing well in my business, but not going to the nextlevel.
Or very common for me to work with women who are single and want to be dating, but areholding themselves back because they don't feel great.
(05:01):
Or also very common, know, a lot of my clients are in long-term partnerships and theirintimacy has kind of dwindled and a big piece is they don't feel good in their body.
And I know what it's like to be on that side, right?
And that constant preoccupation, like mental framework of, my God, like,
my body's you know doesn't look at I'm going to this networking event I better suck in mystomach and project I have it all together and the exhaustion that comes with that right
(05:24):
and also just like not feeling authentic or true to who I am and I know what it's like tobe on the other side of I don't wake up and spend an hour at the minimum of figuring out
what am I gonna wear that I don't look fat in or what am I gonna eat today and being likein a way that's so restrictive or so
hyper-focused instead of, like, you know, an exciting place or nourishment.
(05:47):
And so I know how much life force and energy it frees up when we can really learn to comeinto loving relationship with our body, which I believe is through learning how to
actually inhabit our body.
And that's why I want to help other women is like our mission and our purpose for most ofus women isn't to lose the five pounds, right?
We don't have to like...
(06:07):
carry that to our grave.
Instead, if we can help shift that narrative that our worth or enoughness is tied to ourphysical weight and appearance, we freeze up so much life force to really go after what we
want to create in this lifetime.
Yeah.
So that's why I'm so posh.
There's a lot of my own story and wanting to shift this, right?
(06:29):
Shift it for myself, shift it for my clients, for my nieces, for young women of...
We can take that.
Yeah.
I'm just so curious, like, what was that signal moment for you when you realized that thatthat old way of thinking and that old way of being was no longer OK?
was it was it kind of like a major moment for you where you just changed your mind or didsomething happen?
(06:54):
I'm just so curious, like what that was for you that kind of snapped you into
the wake up call that you gotta go and find another way in a new path.
Yeah, that's a good question.
There was a lot of, a few, lots of smaller moments and then there were a few very profoundmoments.
And what I will share is I wasn't...
(07:16):
at least in the moments that it captured me and what they came from, like thesesignificant moments weren't from, wasn't actively thinking like, yeah, this is gonna make
me love my body or this is finally gonna make me thin, I'm finally gonna be thin.
And it wasn't actually just looking at mindset.
That was not it.
I mean, I'm a huge fan of mindset work.
It's so important.
Yet why I think so many women actually stay stuck in this narrative is they're onlylooking at the mindset and the body isn't a part of it.
(07:42):
You know, someone even told me about
a program, let's say anyway, recently that she has and it's awesome and she's like, yeah,and because I'm the embodiment person, she's like, yeah, one day we do embodiment in there
and I'm just thinking, you gotta be freaking kidding me.
You don't do embodiment in a day.
I love that it's trending and unfortunately I think people think, yeah, I tried, thisembodiment course and I'm embodied for the rest of my life and I'm like, embodiment is a
(08:05):
daily courageous con...
yeah, mastering anything is not a one day endeavor.
Like, you know, you can get a piece of paper at the end of the day.
You know, you can get a piece of paper even at the end of four years.
you know, and like, I think about this before we go too much further, one thing I reallywanted to make sure we did on this show is can you please define the word embodiment?
(08:25):
Because it is getting thrown around a lot.
you know, and sometimes by people like yourself who like you have a very specific meaningand you know, you know what that means.
You're trained and all of that.
There's a lot of people throwing it around that, you know, it's to sound like they knowwhat they're talking about.
So what is embodiment?
Yeah, and I'll answer that and then I will just answer the other question because I wasgoing on a tangent.
(08:48):
So honey, I have a podcast that's not been active for like two years.
It's on break until and in death, know until who knows when but it would called radicalembodiment and I have a lot of guests on it and all the guests I would ask what embodiment
means to them.
That was the first question and they were all movers people in that world right coachessomatic Hewler folks and everyone has their own unique kind of definition and flavor to me
(09:13):
embodiment is having the ability
and capacity to at any given moment choose to actually inhabit your body.
And it's a sense of being versus thinking.
So, you know, a quick example for anyone listening who is still like, yeah, I hear aboutembodiment.
(09:34):
I've been told to drop into my body.
I'm still like, the, like, what the, like, what does that mean?
is to think about your hands.
Our hands are generally somewhat neutral in regards to not a lot of emotional charge orjudgment.
And so just think about your hands and notice what, okay, I'm thinking about my hands.
And then start to notice if you can actually feel inside your hands.
(09:56):
And for most people, don't judge yourself if you don't feel anything, but for most, it'sall like, I've always come out this with gentle curiosity and be like, isn't that
interesting?
But for most people, they can at least feel inside their hands.
And there's a very distinct difference between thinking about being in your hands versusbeing in your hands.
So I think it's this beingness.
(10:17):
And I really believe embodiment brings us, anchors us to the present moment.
to the now experience.
And that is why for me it's so essential on our journey of getting off the sidelines andgetting into the game of life, if that's where we're at, of when we're in the present
moment, we're in the now experience, we're in our power, we're in our capital T truth, ourmind isn't going into comparison or lack or...
(10:48):
overly tracking what's going to happen after this or what happened in the past.
We're just here.
And there's an ease with that.
Where we're not just trying to brain power like, I am enough or I belong here.
Right?
It's a deep knowingness.
So that's what I would say embodiment means to me.
And why it's the biggest part of my work is all around the body is you would ask what weresome key moments
(11:13):
And there was two, but I'll share one is, so I am a certified Rolfer, if you don't knowwhat that is.
The word comes from Dr.
Ida Rolfe.
She called the work structural integration.
So in structural integration in Rolfeing, we're working with the fascia, which is our softtissue skeleton that holds all of our emotions, all of our traumas, all of our stories,
(11:36):
our consciousness.
as well as gives our body structural integrity, so holds our muscles together, holds ourorgans in place.
And I work with a nervous system as well.
And through receiving that work, I was out on a walk one night and that's when it struckme.
I had this huge sense of like, my God, like it feels so easy to walk.
I feel like I'm gliding.
And so I kind of checked in with my body and noticed, wow, I'm totally upright.
(11:59):
I'm standing, I'm totally aligned, but it feels easy.
I'm not efforting to do that.
And when I had that recognition, I immediately had huge tears.
I had this huge emotional release because it was the first time I recognized for myself, Ihad this posture.
I'd been holding all of my life of, my chest up, my stomach sucked in, right?
(12:20):
Like, quote unquote, good, rigid posture were taught.
But I had it in a way of the reason I walked through the room.
I one, was what I was taught and trained.
I didn't know how to stand or be otherwise.
But it was also my way of projecting out into the world that like, was okay.
I've got it together, right?
I've got it figured out.
When in reality, I was crumbling inside.
(12:41):
When in reality, right, I'm sucking in my stomach because I feel ashamed of my belly, ofmy organs.
And that was a huge, huge pivotal starting moment of really, really knowing and feelingwhat is it like to be in my body and specifically.
having this huge sense of, my god, I can be connected to this inherent strength andsupport in my body where the rest of this extrinsic shell, these larger muscle groups can
(13:11):
soften.
And so I can show up authentically and vulnerably because I have that inherent support.
But I'm not trying to, yeah, so that was just one.
You're making me think of like, elastic band that's always that tension, you know, and ifyou've got this elastic band that's always a tension and then you challenge that elastic
(13:32):
band to stretch even more, that feels metaphorically like how a lot of us are, you know,and have been raised to be is like, okay, I'm going to put all this effort into my outward
expression, stretching the band, but then you get challenged and maybe you're
you're physically challenged at the gym or you're challenged by needing to be on Zoomcalls all day, all week, or you know, you're speaking and you're doing like these things
(13:57):
that challenge your physicality even more.
So it's like you're trying to stretch that band, but it's already stretched out, right?
And when you were describing that feeling of coming to alignment, was like, it wasbasically...
the rubber band was able to kind of come back to this place that I imagine that itactually made you more resilient to challenges, more resilient to being able to step up.
(14:21):
I'm guessing.
You tell me, like, is that an experience you see a lot of people have?
that?
Is that an experience you see a lot of people have where they like kind of realize they'reputting all their energy into like holding this shell of who they are versus relaxing into
it so that they can actually give real push where they really want to.
(14:45):
totally.
And I think the analogy you gave is really, is really good and valid.
And I would use that rubber band analogy and not like in all levels, right?
Physically, emotionally, energetically, and when we're stretched, when we're at that tautspace.
we're so much more reactive, right?
We're so much more likely to like kind of snap.
We don't have that resilience.
(15:07):
We don't have this space physically, emotionally, energetically for things to move throughus.
So we get stuck more likely in all of habituated patterns that don't really serve us oraren't how we want to show up.
So 1000 % yeah, for me after that experience was huge and how I began to show up as aleader to my clients in my community.
(15:27):
It's what we really, I mean this was, this would have been at least 10 years, more than 10years ago, I don't know, at least 10 years ago, a little more than 10 years ago, long
while ago.
So it was at the start of my business, it was huge, was right before I had started mybusiness in regards to helping me and creating, you know, my business when I came from a
place of...
(15:47):
I was deeply, deeply insecure most of my life because of how I felt like I looked or how Ithought my body wasn't enough.
That was just one pivotal moment, one piece.
There's many more, but that was a huge shift of starting to also orient a bit.
I'm not intellectual.
It's not an intellectual shift.
(16:07):
We can talk about it and verbalize it, but until you actually experience it, there's notrue change.
Absolutely, absolutely.
is really amazing how much of our experience in the world and in ourselves can beconstructed in the mind.
It's almost like you're running a simulation that is separate from the reality of theworld and the reality of your body and the reality of all these things.
(16:36):
And like you said, there's so much strong conditioning to do so.
It's very understandable and explainable why.
You do talk a lot about body shame and like cultural conditioning.
I'm so curious what you would have to say to coaches and entrepreneurs who feel like theyhave to fix themselves before they can help other people.
(16:57):
Like, is that something that you do a lot of reframing around?
How do you approach that conversation?
Yeah, and just to clarify your question, in what ways might they feel like they need tofix themselves?
Or is that just general?
Is it, yeah.
I think it's in general, but I'll give you a specific example.
I work with lot of certified coaches that have different certifications from XYZ.
(17:21):
And those certifications are like, got the process.
You've got the process, you've gone through the training, you know how to do the thing.
You have a product, you have a service that you can offer to the world.
And yet most coaches that I work with, and that's a lot of them, still don't givethemselves permission.
to embody coach.
Like they're not necessarily claiming their self leadership.
(17:42):
They're not claiming their capacity to have a positive impact on other people, even ifintellectually they are very qualified to do so.
So I know for myself, I became a certified high performance coach, but that was a dreameight years in the making.
For eight years, I was like, really want to do this, know, want to do a version of this.
(18:05):
thing is I'm too fat, right?
And, and I talk about that very, very bluntly because that was what was actually happeningin my head.
And, you know, I think sometimes even the cultural conditioning is like, don't say whatyou're actually thinking or what you're really worried about.
You know, talk about other issues, side issues, side quests, but really I wasdisqualifying myself for a long time from being a high performance coach and
(18:30):
I wasn't giving the market a chance to disqualify me.
wasn't letting the chips fall where they may and playing full out from whatever shape Iwas at and whatever capability and competency I was at.
And that's something I had to learn how to do.
And I just see that pattern played out a lot in the entrepreneurial space.
So I'm just so curious, if somebody does feel like they have to fix themselves first, theygot to get to that goal weight or they've got to get to
(18:58):
you know, some different level of presentation or, you know, the other thing I see is likeendlessly requalifying, endlessly taking on more beta clients and undercharging.
And it's not undercharging at first because we all need to get that experience, but itbecomes undercharging when you already have all of that experience.
So what would you say to somebody who's going through that cycle?
(19:21):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it is really relatable and thanks for sharing your own journey, right?
And that sounds like you've already been really open and candid on that already, because Ithink, you you briefly mentioned the word body shame earlier and...
There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in theshadows, by making you think you're alone, right?
(19:45):
So it's this thing that like, oof, I push down here and I don't actually share it withpeople who bring light.
And one of the best ways we can begin to heal shame and break free from that is byverbalizing it, by letting it come into the light and be seen.
Because we start to recognize,
god I'm not alone.
Other people come up to us, my god I've had that similar experience or this is how Irelated to that, which is huge and essential, right?
(20:07):
We're not alone in our journeys.
We're all unique and yet some of us we have similar struggles and so in regards to yeahsome a coach feeling like they need to fix themselves or be at that goal right before they
can really start doing the work they want.
What I would start with is I actually think you just need to be a couple steps ahead ofyour client.
Right?
Like you just need to be a little further along the road of your ideal client.
(20:31):
And actually, I think sometimes some of the most skilled, supportive coaches are ones thataren't too far in their journey from their ideal client because they can really relate and
connect and help their client.
What is the next stepping stone?
What is the next stepping stone?
So that's where I'd start.
And then as far as really though owning your expertise and your skill is
(20:54):
Start some sort of practice every day, even just three to five minutes, where all you'redoing is you're dropping down into your body, you're breathing, you're connecting with
your body.
And I know that even the language of dropping into your body can feel very foreign to alot of people.
So if that's the case for you, do something where you can feel texture, right?
(21:16):
Feeling your feet on the floor bouncing, shaking.
But something with intentionality in a container where you're actually checking in andfeeling, dropping into the present moment, dropping into your breath.
Because from there, when you can connect there, connecting into your truth, it can helpyou really feel like, right, I do like to know.
(21:37):
Not just, again, we're not just like trying to mentally overpower, like, yeah, I got it, Igot it.
Because that's when you'll fall short.
It's like mental gymnastics.
It's exhausting, right?
Like it works for a little bit.
It's not gonna work in the long haul.
You have to keep like coaching yourself internally.
But starting to train yourself,
When you're in a safe container, ideally like maybe first thing in the morning, right,when you're not in a charged situation or a situation where you might want to shrink, of
(22:01):
okay, can I just for three minutes, can I just be present in my body?
Can I just breathe?
Can I just be present?
with myself and how I'm feeling, how I'm actually really feeling under the surface and bepresent and gift myself that time.
Because that in of itself is such a exercise in your own sense of self-worth, like giftingyourself that every day.
(22:27):
So.
I love that.
start with is knowing, yeah, you just need you don't need to be at the end goal.
You just need to be, you know, further down the road from your ideal client.
We're all human.
We're not.
It's not about being perfection.
And I know about you, but like I don't want to work with a coach who's quote unquoteperfect because I wouldn't trust them.
Mm-hmm.
(22:48):
Yeah, you need to have some vulnerability for sure.
Emily, this has been such a pleasure.
What is the best way for people to follow you?
Yeah, I mean this would be a good segue too because if someone is like, dropping my bodyis really hard or I don't really, I close my eyes, I feel nothing.
I have a free practice that's downloadable on my website.
(23:08):
If you go to EmilyWishall.com, it's on the homepage and you can just fill out your nameand email.
It's called Stop the Body Hate, but it's a specific guided meditation where I will guideyou into your body step by step.
with the intention of helping to slow down that mental...
Framework right so if the mental thoughts are you know I'm not a bet I'm not enough or I'mtoo fat or I can't be coaching yet I don't have the skills You know it could be related to
(23:35):
your body and how you're feeling but it doesn't have to be it will all support you incoming into the present moment and feeling your truth So yeah, so if you go to Emily wish
all calm.
It's on the home page Just about name and email, and you'll get the guided audio and adetailed PDF
That's fantastic and I can't wait to grab it and dear listener, we will include that linkin the show notes, also all of Emily's socials, her website, all the things.
(23:59):
Emily, thank you so much for joining us on the show.
Thank you for having me, Amanda.
It was fun.
It was a pleasure.
Yeah, thanks for letting me get to share.
And to all the listeners, thanks for listening in.
And hopefully there is some good takeaways to help you in your journey.
Absolutely.
And hey, don't miss another episode.
Make sure you hit that subscribe button and grab the link to this episode and share itwith three of your friends that maybe you've had this conversation before about body image
(24:27):
and about showing up fully embodied.
And you can just grab the link to the episode, send it to them on text, make it nice andeasy.
And hey, if you've been loving the show, if you've been loving the guests and everythingthat you've been learning by following us, make sure you take 30 seconds to leave us a
review.
because those reviews really help new listeners decide whether they want to spend timewith us.
(24:48):
And if you do find it to be worth their while, then that is a 30 second thank you that wecannot thank you enough for.
So we will see you on our next show.
And in the meantime, make sure you do what matters.
There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in theshadows, by making you think you're alone,
(00:29):
Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show.
And I am so excited about this episode because frankly, this is a conversation that I wishthat I had like eight years ago when I was very first starting my entrepreneurial journey
as a coach.
But, you know, universe works the way it does.
(00:50):
And so I got a chance to meet Emily Wishall, who is an embodiment coach.
She's a certified Rollfer and
author of Radical Embodiment, a practical guide to celebrating the skin you're in.
And she helps women break free from body shame, self-doubt and exhaustion so they canreclaim confidence, strength and sensuality and step fully into their lives.
(01:16):
Like I said, I was really excited to meet Emily.
We are paths crossed as they do in the entrepreneurial circuits.
And I was just blown away with the body of knowledge that she had, but also the way shetalked about it.
So I couldn't wait to have her on the show to talk about embodiment and confidence and allthe things.
Emily, welcome to the show.
Well, thanks, Amanda.
(01:37):
I'm happy to be here.
What a nice intro and greeting.
my pleasure, my pleasure.
Now, the reason why I said that, I wanted to know you eight years ago, and I'm glad we metnow, but geez, you know, sometimes, sometimes you just sort of think, what would life have
been like?
You know, when I very first started, I didn't want to take a picture.
I didn't want to be on video.
(01:58):
I didn't want to embody.
I didn't want anybody to see my body.
I had so much, you know, shame and negativity and all that that I...
I did then had to work through.
did a lot of work.
But I wonder if meeting somebody like you a lot sooner might have helped me, you know,meet me where I was at and go the path even faster.
(02:19):
So that's why I'm like so excited to have you on the show, because I know that that's nota unique experience, you know.
A lot of entrepreneurs and especially female entrepreneurs really hold themselves backfrom visibility and from the things that are like necessities to success.
but it's because there's something else that's like going on in a much deeper way.
(02:40):
So you shared your mission is to help women get off the sideline of their lives.
And it sparked in me.
was like, wow, you why that mission?
You could do anything because you are super knowledgeable, but why is that so important toyou?
Yeah, I mean there's a lot there and I just appreciate you sharing a little of your ownjourney and I'm like, wow, look at you now, not only podcast, but like you're on video too
(03:04):
and doing that consistently and regularly.
Like you're being so, you know, visible and that's a big thing, right?
Maybe for a lot of entrepreneurs, but I think a lot of women and that's, specifically workwith.
with women and however someone identifies of course can be struggling with these things.
I just identify as female and that's the lane that I know and can really hold and sothat's why, that's the lane I choose to be, stay in.
(03:26):
But it can be hard to be visible, right?
Because we have so many self judgments or what we see online and compare ourselves to thatand so there's a lot there.
But in regards to your...
specific question of why is my mission to help women get off the sidelines is because ofmy own story because of years of feeling like I wasn't enough because I felt like I was in
(03:47):
quotes you know fat I was too fat and I first felt that at age eight which is insane andunfortunately that's a very very common experience maybe doesn't always happen at eight
years old for women but I know for most of the clients I work with pretty much all itstarted in childhood when they started to
dislike their body, when they started to pull apart their body, from that, thosejudgments, they would pull apart themselves, right?
(04:10):
We go into these stories of making it mean something about our enoughness, or because ofthe shape or size of our body, it has something to do with our sense of worthiness.
And there can be this underlying current.
whether it is very conscious or whether it is maybe more on the subconscious level runningthe show for so many women that has them believe they can't go after and have what they
(04:37):
desire in life until their body looks a certain way or until they lose the five pounds orget back into those jeans they wore, you know, pre-pregnancy or in college, that, you they
can't.
be really visible in their business, right?
It's like, okay, I'm doing okay, I'm doing well in my business, but not going to the nextlevel.
Or very common for me to work with women who are single and want to be dating, but areholding themselves back because they don't feel great.
(05:01):
Or also very common, know, a lot of my clients are in long-term partnerships and theirintimacy has kind of dwindled and a big piece is they don't feel good in their body.
And I know what it's like to be on that side, right?
And that constant preoccupation, like mental framework of, my God, like,
my body's you know doesn't look at I'm going to this networking event I better suck in mystomach and project I have it all together and the exhaustion that comes with that right
(05:24):
and also just like not feeling authentic or true to who I am and I know what it's like tobe on the other side of I don't wake up and spend an hour at the minimum of figuring out
what am I gonna wear that I don't look fat in or what am I gonna eat today and being likein a way that's so restrictive or so
hyper-focused instead of, like, you know, an exciting place or nourishment.
(05:47):
And so I know how much life force and energy it frees up when we can really learn to comeinto loving relationship with our body, which I believe is through learning how to
actually inhabit our body.
And that's why I want to help other women is like our mission and our purpose for most ofus women isn't to lose the five pounds, right?
We don't have to like...
(06:07):
carry that to our grave.
Instead, if we can help shift that narrative that our worth or enoughness is tied to ourphysical weight and appearance, we freeze up so much life force to really go after what we
want to create in this lifetime.
Yeah.
So that's why I'm so posh.
There's a lot of my own story and wanting to shift this, right?
(06:29):
Shift it for myself, shift it for my clients, for my nieces, for young women of...
We can take that.
Yeah.
I'm just so curious, like, what was that signal moment for you when you realized that thatthat old way of thinking and that old way of being was no longer OK?
was it was it kind of like a major moment for you where you just changed your mind or didsomething happen?
(06:54):
I'm just so curious, like what that was for you that kind of snapped you into
the wake up call that you gotta go and find another way in a new path.
Yeah, that's a good question.
There was a lot of, a few, lots of smaller moments and then there were a few very profoundmoments.
And what I will share is I wasn't...
(07:16):
at least in the moments that it captured me and what they came from, like thesesignificant moments weren't from, wasn't actively thinking like, yeah, this is gonna make
me love my body or this is finally gonna make me thin, I'm finally gonna be thin.
And it wasn't actually just looking at mindset.
That was not it.
I mean, I'm a huge fan of mindset work.
It's so important.
Yet why I think so many women actually stay stuck in this narrative is they're onlylooking at the mindset and the body isn't a part of it.
(07:42):
You know, someone even told me about
a program, let's say anyway, recently that she has and it's awesome and she's like, yeah,and because I'm the embodiment person, she's like, yeah, one day we do embodiment in there
and I'm just thinking, you gotta be freaking kidding me.
You don't do embodiment in a day.
I love that it's trending and unfortunately I think people think, yeah, I tried, thisembodiment course and I'm embodied for the rest of my life and I'm like, embodiment is a
(08:05):
daily courageous con...
yeah, mastering anything is not a one day endeavor.
Like, you know, you can get a piece of paper at the end of the day.
You know, you can get a piece of paper even at the end of four years.
you know, and like, I think about this before we go too much further, one thing I reallywanted to make sure we did on this show is can you please define the word embodiment?
(08:25):
Because it is getting thrown around a lot.
you know, and sometimes by people like yourself who like you have a very specific meaningand you know, you know what that means.
You're trained and all of that.
There's a lot of people throwing it around that, you know, it's to sound like they knowwhat they're talking about.
So what is embodiment?
Yeah, and I'll answer that and then I will just answer the other question because I wasgoing on a tangent.
(08:48):
So honey, I have a podcast that's not been active for like two years.
It's on break until and in death, know until who knows when but it would called radicalembodiment and I have a lot of guests on it and all the guests I would ask what embodiment
means to them.
That was the first question and they were all movers people in that world right coachessomatic Hewler folks and everyone has their own unique kind of definition and flavor to me
(09:13):
embodiment is having the ability
and capacity to at any given moment choose to actually inhabit your body.
And it's a sense of being versus thinking.
So, you know, a quick example for anyone listening who is still like, yeah, I hear aboutembodiment.
(09:34):
I've been told to drop into my body.
I'm still like, the, like, what the, like, what does that mean?
is to think about your hands.
Our hands are generally somewhat neutral in regards to not a lot of emotional charge orjudgment.
And so just think about your hands and notice what, okay, I'm thinking about my hands.
And then start to notice if you can actually feel inside your hands.
(09:56):
And for most people, don't judge yourself if you don't feel anything, but for most, it'sall like, I've always come out this with gentle curiosity and be like, isn't that
interesting?
But for most people, they can at least feel inside their hands.
And there's a very distinct difference between thinking about being in your hands versusbeing in your hands.
So I think it's this beingness.
(10:17):
And I really believe embodiment brings us, anchors us to the present moment.
to the now experience.
And that is why for me it's so essential on our journey of getting off the sidelines andgetting into the game of life, if that's where we're at, of when we're in the present
moment, we're in the now experience, we're in our power, we're in our capital T truth, ourmind isn't going into comparison or lack or...
(10:48):
overly tracking what's going to happen after this or what happened in the past.
We're just here.
And there's an ease with that.
Where we're not just trying to brain power like, I am enough or I belong here.
Right?
It's a deep knowingness.
So that's what I would say embodiment means to me.
And why it's the biggest part of my work is all around the body is you would ask what weresome key moments
(11:13):
And there was two, but I'll share one is, so I am a certified Rolfer, if you don't knowwhat that is.
The word comes from Dr.
Ida Rolfe.
She called the work structural integration.
So in structural integration in Rolfeing, we're working with the fascia, which is our softtissue skeleton that holds all of our emotions, all of our traumas, all of our stories,
(11:36):
our consciousness.
as well as gives our body structural integrity, so holds our muscles together, holds ourorgans in place.
And I work with a nervous system as well.
And through receiving that work, I was out on a walk one night and that's when it struckme.
I had this huge sense of like, my God, like it feels so easy to walk.
I feel like I'm gliding.
And so I kind of checked in with my body and noticed, wow, I'm totally upright.
(11:59):
I'm standing, I'm totally aligned, but it feels easy.
I'm not efforting to do that.
And when I had that recognition, I immediately had huge tears.
I had this huge emotional release because it was the first time I recognized for myself, Ihad this posture.
I'd been holding all of my life of, my chest up, my stomach sucked in, right?
(12:20):
Like, quote unquote, good, rigid posture were taught.
But I had it in a way of the reason I walked through the room.
I one, was what I was taught and trained.
I didn't know how to stand or be otherwise.
But it was also my way of projecting out into the world that like, was okay.
I've got it together, right?
I've got it figured out.
When in reality, I was crumbling inside.
(12:41):
When in reality, right, I'm sucking in my stomach because I feel ashamed of my belly, ofmy organs.
And that was a huge, huge pivotal starting moment of really, really knowing and feelingwhat is it like to be in my body and specifically.
having this huge sense of, my god, I can be connected to this inherent strength andsupport in my body where the rest of this extrinsic shell, these larger muscle groups can
(13:11):
soften.
And so I can show up authentically and vulnerably because I have that inherent support.
But I'm not trying to, yeah, so that was just one.
You're making me think of like, elastic band that's always that tension, you know, and ifyou've got this elastic band that's always a tension and then you challenge that elastic
(13:32):
band to stretch even more, that feels metaphorically like how a lot of us are, you know,and have been raised to be is like, okay, I'm going to put all this effort into my outward
expression, stretching the band, but then you get challenged and maybe you're
you're physically challenged at the gym or you're challenged by needing to be on Zoomcalls all day, all week, or you know, you're speaking and you're doing like these things
(13:57):
that challenge your physicality even more.
So it's like you're trying to stretch that band, but it's already stretched out, right?
And when you were describing that feeling of coming to alignment, was like, it wasbasically...
the rubber band was able to kind of come back to this place that I imagine that itactually made you more resilient to challenges, more resilient to being able to step up.
(14:21):
I'm guessing.
You tell me, like, is that an experience you see a lot of people have?
that?
Is that an experience you see a lot of people have where they like kind of realize they'reputting all their energy into like holding this shell of who they are versus relaxing into
it so that they can actually give real push where they really want to.
(14:45):
totally.
And I think the analogy you gave is really, is really good and valid.
And I would use that rubber band analogy and not like in all levels, right?
Physically, emotionally, energetically, and when we're stretched, when we're at that tautspace.
we're so much more reactive, right?
We're so much more likely to like kind of snap.
We don't have that resilience.
(15:07):
We don't have this space physically, emotionally, energetically for things to move throughus.
So we get stuck more likely in all of habituated patterns that don't really serve us oraren't how we want to show up.
So 1000 % yeah, for me after that experience was huge and how I began to show up as aleader to my clients in my community.
(15:27):
It's what we really, I mean this was, this would have been at least 10 years, more than 10years ago, I don't know, at least 10 years ago, a little more than 10 years ago, long
while ago.
So it was at the start of my business, it was huge, was right before I had started mybusiness in regards to helping me and creating, you know, my business when I came from a
place of...
(15:47):
I was deeply, deeply insecure most of my life because of how I felt like I looked or how Ithought my body wasn't enough.
That was just one pivotal moment, one piece.
There's many more, but that was a huge shift of starting to also orient a bit.
I'm not intellectual.
It's not an intellectual shift.
(16:07):
We can talk about it and verbalize it, but until you actually experience it, there's notrue change.
Absolutely, absolutely.
is really amazing how much of our experience in the world and in ourselves can beconstructed in the mind.
It's almost like you're running a simulation that is separate from the reality of theworld and the reality of your body and the reality of all these things.
(16:36):
And like you said, there's so much strong conditioning to do so.
It's very understandable and explainable why.
You do talk a lot about body shame and like cultural conditioning.
I'm so curious what you would have to say to coaches and entrepreneurs who feel like theyhave to fix themselves before they can help other people.
(16:57):
Like, is that something that you do a lot of reframing around?
How do you approach that conversation?
Yeah, and just to clarify your question, in what ways might they feel like they need tofix themselves?
Or is that just general?
Is it, yeah.
I think it's in general, but I'll give you a specific example.
I work with lot of certified coaches that have different certifications from XYZ.
(17:21):
And those certifications are like, got the process.
You've got the process, you've gone through the training, you know how to do the thing.
You have a product, you have a service that you can offer to the world.
And yet most coaches that I work with, and that's a lot of them, still don't givethemselves permission.
to embody coach.
Like they're not necessarily claiming their self leadership.
(17:42):
They're not claiming their capacity to have a positive impact on other people, even ifintellectually they are very qualified to do so.
So I know for myself, I became a certified high performance coach, but that was a dreameight years in the making.
For eight years, I was like, really want to do this, know, want to do a version of this.
(18:05):
thing is I'm too fat, right?
And, and I talk about that very, very bluntly because that was what was actually happeningin my head.
And, you know, I think sometimes even the cultural conditioning is like, don't say whatyou're actually thinking or what you're really worried about.
You know, talk about other issues, side issues, side quests, but really I wasdisqualifying myself for a long time from being a high performance coach and
(18:30):
I wasn't giving the market a chance to disqualify me.
wasn't letting the chips fall where they may and playing full out from whatever shape Iwas at and whatever capability and competency I was at.
And that's something I had to learn how to do.
And I just see that pattern played out a lot in the entrepreneurial space.
So I'm just so curious, if somebody does feel like they have to fix themselves first, theygot to get to that goal weight or they've got to get to
(18:58):
you know, some different level of presentation or, you know, the other thing I see is likeendlessly requalifying, endlessly taking on more beta clients and undercharging.
And it's not undercharging at first because we all need to get that experience, but itbecomes undercharging when you already have all of that experience.
So what would you say to somebody who's going through that cycle?
(19:21):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it is really relatable and thanks for sharing your own journey, right?
And that sounds like you've already been really open and candid on that already, because Ithink, you you briefly mentioned the word body shame earlier and...
There's so many people struggling with body shame and shame feeds itself by living in theshadows, by making you think you're alone, right?
(19:45):
So it's this thing that like, oof, I push down here and I don't actually share it withpeople who bring light.
And one of the best ways we can begin to heal shame and break free from that is byverbalizing it, by letting it come into the light and be seen.
Because we start to recognize,
god I'm not alone.
Other people come up to us, my god I've had that similar experience or this is how Irelated to that, which is huge and essential, right?
(20:07):
We're not alone in our journeys.
We're all unique and yet some of us we have similar struggles and so in regards to yeahsome a coach feeling like they need to fix themselves or be at that goal right before they
can really start doing the work they want.
What I would start with is I actually think you just need to be a couple steps ahead ofyour client.
Right?
Like you just need to be a little further along the road of your ideal client.
(20:31):
And actually, I think sometimes some of the most skilled, supportive coaches are ones thataren't too far in their journey from their ideal client because they can really relate and
connect and help their client.
What is the next stepping stone?
What is the next stepping stone?
So that's where I'd start.
And then as far as really though owning your expertise and your skill is
(20:54):
Start some sort of practice every day, even just three to five minutes, where all you'redoing is you're dropping down into your body, you're breathing, you're connecting with
your body.
And I know that even the language of dropping into your body can feel very foreign to alot of people.
So if that's the case for you, do something where you can feel texture, right?
(21:16):
Feeling your feet on the floor bouncing, shaking.
But something with intentionality in a container where you're actually checking in andfeeling, dropping into the present moment, dropping into your breath.
Because from there, when you can connect there, connecting into your truth, it can helpyou really feel like, right, I do like to know.
(21:37):
Not just, again, we're not just like trying to mentally overpower, like, yeah, I got it, Igot it.
Because that's when you'll fall short.
It's like mental gymnastics.
It's exhausting, right?
Like it works for a little bit.
It's not gonna work in the long haul.
You have to keep like coaching yourself internally.
But starting to train yourself,
When you're in a safe container, ideally like maybe first thing in the morning, right,when you're not in a charged situation or a situation where you might want to shrink, of
(22:01):
okay, can I just for three minutes, can I just be present in my body?
Can I just breathe?
Can I just be present?
with myself and how I'm feeling, how I'm actually really feeling under the surface and bepresent and gift myself that time.
Because that in of itself is such a exercise in your own sense of self-worth, like giftingyourself that every day.
(22:27):
So.
I love that.
start with is knowing, yeah, you just need you don't need to be at the end goal.
You just need to be, you know, further down the road from your ideal client.
We're all human.
We're not.
It's not about being perfection.
And I know about you, but like I don't want to work with a coach who's quote unquoteperfect because I wouldn't trust them.
Mm-hmm.
(22:48):
Yeah, you need to have some vulnerability for sure.
Emily, this has been such a pleasure.
What is the best way for people to follow you?
Yeah, I mean this would be a good segue too because if someone is like, dropping my bodyis really hard or I don't really, I close my eyes, I feel nothing.
I have a free practice that's downloadable on my website.
(23:08):
If you go to EmilyWishall.com, it's on the homepage and you can just fill out your nameand email.
It's called Stop the Body Hate, but it's a specific guided meditation where I will guideyou into your body step by step.
with the intention of helping to slow down that mental...
Framework right so if the mental thoughts are you know I'm not a bet I'm not enough or I'mtoo fat or I can't be coaching yet I don't have the skills You know it could be related to
(23:35):
your body and how you're feeling but it doesn't have to be it will all support you incoming into the present moment and feeling your truth So yeah, so if you go to Emily wish
all calm.
It's on the home page Just about name and email, and you'll get the guided audio and adetailed PDF
That's fantastic and I can't wait to grab it and dear listener, we will include that linkin the show notes, also all of Emily's socials, her website, all the things.
(23:59):
Emily, thank you so much for joining us on the show.
Thank you for having me, Amanda.
It was fun.
It was a pleasure.
Yeah, thanks for letting me get to share.
And to all the listeners, thanks for listening in.
And hopefully there is some good takeaways to help you in your journey.
Absolutely.
And hey, don't miss another episode.
Make sure you hit that subscribe button and grab the link to this episode and share itwith three of your friends that maybe you've had this conversation before about body image
(24:27):
and about showing up fully embodied.
And you can just grab the link to the episode, send it to them on text, make it nice andeasy.
And hey, if you've been loving the show, if you've been loving the guests and everythingthat you've been learning by following us, make sure you take 30 seconds to leave us a
review.
because those reviews really help new listeners decide whether they want to spend timewith us.
(24:48):
And if you do find it to be worth their while, then that is a 30 second thank you that wecannot thank you enough for.
So we will see you on our next show.
And in the meantime, make sure you do what matters.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.