January 15, 2025 • 28 mins
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HOW DO I ACCEPT ANXIETY?!?!?!?!
Let's start a three-part series on accepting anxiety using the ACT Tri-flex framework. As both a therapist and former anxiety sufferer, I'm going to break down the crucial first practical step of getting present and what it really means in a practical way.
KEY POINTS:
- Why there are no "steps" to accepting anxiety
- The difference between "doing mode" and "being mode"
- What mindfulness actually means in anxiety recovery
- How to develop nonjudgmental awareness
- Why automatic reactions aren't truly automatic
QUOTES FROM THE EPISODE:
- "Accepting anxiety is about dropping out of doing and into being."
- "We are essentially judging, evaluating, and resisting machines all day long."
- "There is no difference between automatically reaching for an ice pack when anxious and automatically liking or disliking the weather."
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
- Dr. Russ Harris's ACT Tri-flex
- The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
- Drew's interview with Dr. Steven Hayes on The Disordered Podcast
- Drew's interview with Dr. Russ Harris on The Disordered Podcast
UPCOMING COURSE: Join Drew's 6-week Practical Mindfulness Skills group starting soon. Limited to 10 participants. Learn more at learn.theanxioustruth.com
For full show notes on this episode:
https://theanxioustruth.com/309
Support The Anxious Truth: If you find the podcast helpful and want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee. Other ways to support my work like buying a book or signing up for a low cost workshop can be found on my website. None of this is never required, but always appreciated!
Interested in doing therapy with me? For more information on working with me directly to overcome your anxiety, follow this link.
Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to The Anxious Truth does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the host or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your own well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I have to accept anxiety to overcome it.
But how do I accept anxiety?
It's a question I get asked allthe time.
This week, on the Anxious Truth, we're going to start a
three-part series to introduce aframework that you might be
able to use to actually acceptanxiety.
So let's get into that rightnow.
Hello everybody, welcome backto the Anxious Truth.
(00:31):
This is episode 309 of thepodcast recorded in January of
2025.
In case you are listening fromthe future, I am Drew Linsalata.
I am a therapist practicingunder supervision in the state
of New York, specializing in thetreatment of anxiety and
anxiety disorders.
I am a former sufferer ofanxiety disorders for many years
of my life, on and off, butbetter now a podcaster and
(00:52):
author on the topic,psychoeducator advocate and
general anxiety nerd.
So welcome to the podcast.
Today we're going to talk aboutthe subject of learning exactly
how to accept anxiety, becausethis is a really difficult one,
right?
How do I accept anxiety?
How do I willfully tolerate it?
(01:13):
How do I float?
How do I surrender?
There are still no steps tothis, but we can start to really
look at a framework that youmight be able to use to sort of
get into it, of course, if thisis the first time listening or
watching the Anxious Truth,welcome, I'm of get into it.
Of course, if this is the firsttime listening or watching the
Anxious Truth, welcome, I'm gladyou're here.
Of course, if you are areturning viewer or listener of
the podcast, welcome back.
(01:33):
I'm always glad to be hereevery week giving me your time
and attention.
And if you are listening to thepodcast or watching on YouTube
I don't know maybe, if youreally dig it, maybe consider
hitting the subscribe button andhitting the notification bell
so that you know when I uploadnew content, like the video.
Maybe leave a comment.
You know all this stuff.
It helps out the channel, ithelps me out.
It helps more people get theinformation that they're looking
(01:54):
for to try to get better.
So, yeah, if that is somethingthat you could do, that would be
awesome.
So let's talk about how do Iaccept anxiety.
Most people are going to want toknow what are the steps that I
use to accept anxiety or floatthrough it or surrender to it or
willfully tolerate it.
Well, really, there are noactual steps.
(02:15):
There are no steps for this.
Step one do this.
Step two, do that.
Unfortunately, we don't havesteps to give you, but we can
look at general frameworks.
One of the frameworks that Ioften use as a therapist and in
the work that I do is acceptanceand commitment therapy.
Now, I'm a big ACT fan.
I use principles of ACT.
I use principles ofmetacognitive therapy.
(02:35):
Basically, we're looking at thethird wave empirically supported
versions of CBT that are usedso successfully around the world
for a long time, with a lot ofdata behind it, to treat anxiety
disorders like the problems wetalk about here on this YouTube
channel or on this podcast panicdisorder, agoraphobia, ocd,
health anxiety, social anxiety.
We're looking for third waveempirically supported CBT
(02:58):
derivatives that we know workreally well in these particular
contexts.
That's what we're going to relyon.
We're going to relyspecifically on ACT, acceptance
and commitment therapy, and onething that we have to remember
about third wave modalities likeACT is that they are not only
acceptance-based treatments.
They are mindfulness-basedtreatments.
(03:20):
There's a big mindfulnesscomponent in the third wave.
In the most effectivetreatments we have for anxiety
disorders, there really is a bigmindfulness component in the
third wave.
In the most effectivetreatments we have for anxiety
disorders, there really is a bigmindfulness component and it's
like that in almost all of thethird wave treatments.
So this isn't necessarilyspecific to just ACT acceptance
and commitment therapy.
Now, in ACT, as it was designedand created by Dr Stephen Hayes
(03:41):
and if you guys have not seenthe interview that I did with
Stephen Hayes on the Disorderedpodcast, you should check it out
Stephen Hayes built somethingcalled the ACT Hexaflex into the
treatment, into the theory thatunderlies ACT, into the
framework.
The Hexaflex gives you sort ofsix points HEX, you know, hex
six.
It gives you sort of six pointsto work on when you're working
(04:02):
with a client in therapy usingACT.
But it's a little bitcomplicated and even Stephen
Hayes himself, a self-describedbehaviorism and cognitive
science nerd which I totallyrespect because I'm kind of that
way too even says that it'skind of complicated.
But then in the more practicalside we have Dr Russ Harris and
we also had Russ Harris onDisordered.
(04:23):
You should check that out.
He's the guy that wrote thebook the Happiness Trap.
Russ has a really great YouTubechannel.
He's very well known forputting ACT principles into very
accessible, friendly kind ofways.
He took the ACT hexaflex andsimplified it into three steps
that he calls the ACT triflexand in this three-part series
that we're starting today onepisode 309 of the podcast.
(04:45):
We're going to look at thefirst point in the ACT Triflex,
russ says.
Dr Harris says get present.
The other two are open up anddo what matters.
If we look at these three stepsif you will, even though
they're not steps, I'm going touse the word If we look at the
three principles of RussHarris's ACT Tr, triflex, get
(05:05):
present, open up and do whatmatters, we can kind of put
these together and say, well,this is how we accept, surrender
or willfully tolerate anxiety,panic, scary thoughts, intrusive
thoughts, that sort of stuff.
Today we're really going tofocus in episode three and I
we're going to talk about thefirst part of Russ's act Triflex
, which is get present.
(05:26):
What does it mean to getpresent?
Because I think that's sort ofthe first part of what we got to
look at as we get into this andwe can really start to learn
how to, you know, tolerate, howto surrender to, how to accept
anxiety.
So we're going to talk todayabout get present.
But before we get into getpresent, I just want to give you
guys a quick reminder that theAnxious Truth is more than just
(05:48):
this podcast episode.
It's more than just thisYouTube video.
There's a ton more resources onmy website at
theanxioustruthcom, includingall the social media content,
the previous podcast episodes,the books that I've written,
low-cost workshops and courses.
So if you are digging what yousee here today on the podcast
(06:09):
and you want more information,more resources to deal with your
anxiety, your anxiety recovery,go check out my website at
theanxioustruthcom.
Yeah, there's a lot there.
So go check it out.
Avail yourself of all the stuff, especially the stuff that's
free.
There's no reason not to get itright.
So let's get back to the acttriflex, the first part of it
get present, and how thatrelates to how we can learn to
(06:30):
accept anxiety.
Well, what does get presenteven mean?
Let's sort of decipher that,let's define that.
Get present means being able todevelop sort of nonjudgmental
awareness of what's actuallyhappening now.
What's actually happening rightnow?
The word actually I pickedspecifically and on purpose,
(06:51):
because what is actuallyhappening right now?
Can we start to build theability to observe and describe
what is actually happening whenwe are anxious or triggered or
uncertain or frightened ordisturbed or uncomfortable.
What is actually happening?
I've said that now like 10times in a row, but there's a
reason for that.
We're not talking about what itmeans we're not talking about,
(07:13):
if you like it.
We're not talking about whatmight happen.
We're not talking about whatyou are afraid might happen.
We're not talking about whatyou hope doesn't happen.
We're not talking about whyit's happening or trying to
figure it out.
We're not talking about whatshould I do next?
Can we learn to actually lookat, observe and acknowledge what
(07:34):
is going on right now?
I think it's really important.
Clearly, we're talking about ananxiety context here, because
that's what we do on the AnxiousTruth.
But we have to look beyond that.
We are essentially judging,evaluating and resisting
machines all day long.
That's what human beings do.
We're pros at that.
We stink at doing anythingdifferent than that.
(07:54):
We are liking and disliking,loving and hating, wanting and
don't wanting, taking andleaving all day long.
This is what we do when we areawake.
We use our big old prefrontalcortex all the time to try to
make meaning out of everythingwe encounter, including our
internal experiences.
That means figuring it out,wondering why it's happening,
(08:16):
explaining it, liking it, notliking it, fixing it,
controlling it, mastering it.
This is a problem.
This is a problem.
The fact that we have theability to do that puts us at
the top of the food chain.
It makes us human, it makes uswho we are.
But it does get in the waybecause we start to use this
skill and we go into judgment,evaluation, resisting, fixing,
(08:39):
figuring out almostautomatically because we can,
and we start to not recognizewhen it's useful and when it's
not.
So this starts to get in theway and most of us have no idea
that we're even doing it all daylong because it's kind of our
default mode.
We never spent any timeexamining that and working on
(09:00):
this is important being ratherthan always doing, because
really, when you look at it,evaluating and judging and sort
of unconsciously kind of kneejerk automatically reacting to
everything.
I'm not talking about justanxiety, I'm talking about every
day, all day long.
We do this.
That is doing right.
We're always doing evaluating,figuring out, trying to fix,
(09:23):
trying to control, trying tomanage liking and disliking,
pushing away, welcoming, hugging, running.
These are all doing things.
We're always in doing mode.
Clearly, if I'm having anexperience I don't like and
scares me, I should probably bedoing something about that.
But on the flip side thisspeaks to how do I accept
(09:45):
anxiety, how do I surrender toit, how do I tolerate it?
Just having experiences andthis is especially true for the
experiences that we hate but wejust simply cannot avoid or
change is an exercise in being.
This is where we learn tosuspend the doing.
Let me repeat that Suspend thedoing, the resisting, the
(10:08):
managing, the explaining, thefighting, the fixing, the
judging, the berating ourselves,the trying to figure out.
This is all doing, interpreting.
What does this mean?
What's going to happen next?
I don't want that to happen.
I want something different.
I just want this over.
That is doing.
(10:31):
Accepting anxiety, which is sucha mystery to so many people,
and I get it because it's notnecessarily intuitive looks like
suspending of all that doing.
But then where does that leaveus?
And this is where this sort ofstuff the act, triflex and the
first point in that get presentcan really help us.
It leaves us in a state ofbeing If we are working on
suspending all the doing and youhear this all the time the
(10:53):
object of the game in recoveryis to learn to do less about
your anxiety, not how to do moreabout it.
So if we try to suspend all ofour doing, which is behavioral
doing and also cognitive andemotional doing, we wind up in a
state of being.
What is a state of being?
Being with our experiences andourselves as they are, as we are
(11:14):
, exactly as we are at any givenmoment, without the thrashing
about and resisting.
What we do not want and clearlywe do not want to be anxious,
afraid or uncomfortableAccepting anxiety, surrendering,
tolerating, floating pick thewords you like, I don't care is
about dropping out of doing andinto being.
And this only starts when welearn to be aware of the
(11:38):
constant automatic doing.
This is really important, ofthe constant automatic doing.
This is really important.
If we cannot start let meintroduce the word here if we
cannot start with mindfulawareness, then we are stuck in
doing mode and we are insistingthat it's clearly the only way.
And then we keep asking but howdo I accept anxiety?
(11:58):
So let's summarize this for asecond.
Let's think about this All Iwant to do all day long, because
it's automatic for all humanbeings.
It's probably automatic for youtoo, especially with
experiences, internalexperiences, feelings,
sensations, thoughts, emotionsthat we hate, that scare us.
All we want to do is go intodoing mode to get away from it,
manage it, avoid it, escape it,fix it.
(12:20):
It's all we want to do.
But accepting anxiety is aboutbeing in being mode, where we
can just be with the experience,without the doing part.
And now you can see why, sincewe spend all day long in doing
mode evaluating, judging,mastering, controlling
everything, not just anxiety itseems completely insane to say,
(12:41):
well, how am I?
But tell me how, tell me how toaccept anxiety, tell me how to
surrender it, tell me how towillfully tolerate it.
The reason why it seems soforeign, even if it's an
attractive concept to mostpeople who are watching this
video or listening to thispodcast or reading my books.
It seems like an attractiveprinciple because, yeah, it does
make sense.
(13:02):
If I stop resisting, I canlearn, I can handle it.
But it's like trying todescribe a color to someone who
doesn't have eyesight Right.
It's outside the realm of ourusual conscious experience.
We're in doing mode all thetime.
What do you mean?
I can't be.
What do you mean?
I have to stop doing?
We do, this is what we do.
We do things about stuff thatwe don't like, but really do we
(13:24):
have to?
This is where we begin tochallenge that assertion and
this is where mindfulness I saidmindful awareness, said I was
going to introduce that word.
This is where mindfulness comesinto the picture.
So we hear mindfulness andmeditation all the time in
anxiety recovery, in mentalhealth circles, in general
wellness circles.
I talk about it all the time.
(13:44):
Clearly I am a fan, but we gotto talk about what mindfulness
is not in the context of anxietyrecovery and what mindfulness
is.
Mindfulness is not, hasliterally has nothing whatsoever
to do with creating particularoutcomes.
Right, we're not trying tolearn how to calm down.
That's not a thing.
We're not trying to learn howto calm down.
That's not a thing.
We're not trying to learn howto like quiet our minds.
(14:07):
We're not trying to learn to bepeaceful.
We're not trying to learn tocreate any particular outcomes.
We're not trying to learn tostop anxiety or panic.
We're not trying to learn toturn off scary thoughts.
That is not in any way whatmindfulness is, or meditation in
our context.
That's frustrating because wetry to use it that way and then
it doesn't work and we thinkthat like, oh, something is
(14:29):
wrong because this magicmindfulness and meditation
that's supposed to let me chooseserenity isn't working.
But that's not really what itis not in our context at least,
and honestly, from my ownpersonal opinion, not in any
context.
That's the wrong way to thinkabout the idea of mindfulness or
the concept of mindfulness.
What is mindfulness in ourcontext?
(14:50):
What is mindfulness in general?
Right, it's a way to buildawareness of how automatic our
reactions are and how almostunconscious, not subconscious.
We're not talking aboutsubconscious.
We're talking about howautomatic, unreasoned, unthought
about, unconsidered,unconscious, our resistance, our
(15:10):
fixing, our desire to control,master our urges to get away
from uncomfortable things.
Mindfulness is learning towatch that process in action.
It's a way to build awarenessso that when we get awareness,
we can start to make differentchoices.
Right?
So this starts to be a bit of atricky topic, because even the
words mindfulness and meditationcarry so many different
(15:32):
connotations.
Right, like, people say that itsounds like a very spiritual
thing, and in certain instancesit might be a spiritual thing
for some people, but that isn'tnecessarily automatic.
We're not automatically tryingto go for spiritual things.
It's auto, you know it's.
This must be a calming thing,right?
This is how we learn how tocalm down.
This is how we learn how tocreate a quiet mind.
(15:54):
This is how I create particularoutcomes in my life, like peace
and serenity and like Zen andhappiness.
They're techniques, right, likethese are techniques for
feeling better, right?
Isn't that what mindfulness is?
And meditation theseconnotations.
It's important to address thoseconnotations, right.
But in our context, if we wantto take the mystery out of all
(16:17):
of this and we want to sort ofapply mindfulness in a practical
way in anxiety recovery, we'vegot to kind of pare all that
down right.
We want to sort of applymindfulness in a practical way
in anxiety recovery, we've gotto kind of pare all that down
right.
We have to understand thatthere's a reason why people do
think of those connotations whenthey hear those words, or maybe
they interpret them that way.
But we have to kind of getright directly to the crux of it
, which is forget all that otherstuff.
(16:38):
We just want to go to theobserving and being aware part,
because that's the part that hasto come first.
Even if you insist that youwant meditation and mindfulness
to create a particular state, aparticular outcome of calm or
peace or serenity or happiness,if you don't start with the
observing and awareness part,you're not going to get there
and it's going to be reallyfrustrating.
(17:00):
So using mindfulness in thecontext of anxiety disorder
recovery is about developing anawareness and an ability to
observe your experiences,including your own feelings,
thoughts, bodily sensations andsort of automatic drives, all
the internal stuff, right, welearn about mindfulness and we
practice mindfulness so that wecan start to see this machine
(17:21):
working.
And if you're a therapy clientof mine and you're listening to
this or watching this, yes, I'mgoing to talk about watching the
machine.
You guys have heard this before.
We have to see that machineworking, we have to see it turn
on, we have to see it in actionbefore anything can change in a
meaningful way.
It is the observing andawareness and acknowledging part
(17:41):
.
That's what we mean bypractical mindfulness in the
context of anxiety disorders andin the context of learning how
to accept anxiety or surrenderto it or willfully tolerate it
or whatever.
So when Dr Harris, when RussHarris says, get present as the
first part of the act triflex,like here's these three steps
that we can use, practical stepsthis is what he's talking about
(18:02):
.
Right, can you learn to beaware and observe what is
happening when you are anxious?
Can you first just look at anddescribe the experience?
Can you do that?
For instance, you might say toyourself my heart is pounding, I
am sweating, I'm having reallyloud thoughts about self-harm,
or maybe I'm having loudthoughts about being a bad
(18:24):
person.
I am upset, I am afraid, I amfrightened, I am disturbed, I am
uncomfortable.
These are observations.
Right, those are justobservations and
acknowledgements.
This is what's happening rightnow.
Get present.
What is happening right now?
That's actually happening.
I'm having thoughts.
What is happening right now?
That's actually happening.
I'm having thoughts, I'm havingemotions, I'm having bodily
sensations.
That's what's happening.
(18:45):
You know what else areobservations?
I'm having thoughts aboutrunning out of this birthday
party.
I'm feeling unsafe.
I am experiencing an urge to aplace that feels safer.
I am having the urge to arguewith these scary thoughts.
I'm having the urge to fightthis and try to make it go away.
Those are also observations,because those things are
(19:06):
happening.
I'm having thoughts, I'm havingemotions, I'm having sensations
, I'm having urges.
Look at all the observationshere.
Looking at the experience, whatis actually happening?
There's a lot happening here.
If we just stop and look at it.
If I can first look and observemy experience, I can start to
gain that awareness of theprocess.
(19:27):
I can start to see that themachine is in action, it's been
turned on, it's running right.
If I start to observe andacknowledge, then I start to
begin to learn that very quickly, after experiencing sensations
or thoughts or big emotions thatI don't like, that make me
uncomfortable, I want to startfixing them.
I can watch myself, want to golaunch directly into doing mode
(19:51):
and I use air quotes, right, ifI can see that, if I can see
that, if I can observe that,like this is what's happening,
this is what I'm feeling, thisis what my body is doing, these
are the thoughts I'm having,these are the emotions I'm
having, these are the urges I'mhaving.
If I can start to see that,then I give myself a fighting
chance to stay in being mode, orobserving mode, if you will.
(20:12):
I give myself at least somechance to refrain from judging
and evaluating unconsciously andautomatically.
So maybe I can make a moreconscious choice as to what I do
next when I'm triggered, right.
So this is where people saythings like but you don't
understand, it's automatic tocall for help, it's automatic to
(20:33):
run away from my anxiety.
But really is it Like?
Is it also possible that that'sjust one possible outcome that
exists, on sort of a chain ofevents that usually happens
without even thinking about it?
So, yes, one possible outcomeis I run for the ice pack or I
call my safe person.
But that's just one possiblething that might happen on an
(20:56):
unconscious or unreasoned orunconsidered chain of events.
And again, I'm talking aboutunconscious, not self-conscious.
Right, in the end we have toacknowledge that there is no
difference between automaticallyreaching for an ice pack when
you're anxious and automaticallyliking or disliking the weather
.
There's no difference.
It is the same process inaction in two different contexts
(21:18):
and it is kind of automatic andunconscious to most human
beings.
I mean, it's okay to dislikeanxiety and the weather, but
going down that unconsciouschain to resisting and fighting
anxiety or the weather is not inany way helpful.
And we talk about this stuff allthe time.
We resist it, we fight it, itgets worse.
I have to learn to stopfighting.
I have to learn to accept it,tolerate it, surrender it.
(21:41):
How do I do that?
Well, this is the first conceptin learning how to accept, how
to accept anxiety.
Again, I'm not really givingyou particular steps to do, but
this is the first concept we canstart to apply in learning how
to accept anxiety Get present,learn to watch, observe and be
(22:01):
aware rather than leapfroggingdirectly to resistant doing.
We practice that first, then wecan work on getting to the
second part of the ACT Triflex,which Russ Harris says is open
up.
Right, we're going to get tothat in the next episode of the
podcast in two weeks.
That would be episode 310.
So come back to that one.
If this topic is at allinteresting to you and I suspect
(22:23):
that it probably is interestingto you because you're watching
this podcast and probably askingthe question, but how do I
accept anxiety?
And if you kind of think thatlearning practical mindfulness
skills that you can apply inyour anxiety recovery is a good
thing, I am in fact working on apractical mindfulness skills
group that's going to run forsix weeks with a very small,
very small group of participants, like 10 people, at a very low
(22:45):
cost.
I don't, I'm not a $6,000mastermind guy.
This is six weeks of practicalmindfulness lessons and weekly
meetings via Zoom.
We can practice mindfulnessskills together, we can talk
about the experiences, we can dosome little lectures on that
and we can work on practicingthose skills every day to start
to build our awareness and,ultimately, our choice.
(23:06):
So if this is a topic near anddear to your heart and you wanna
learn a little bit more aboutthat, as of this recording,
which is January.
What is today, the 14th in 2025,?
I haven't released the fullcourse full course curriculum
yet.
There are no signups available,but you can go to
learntheanxioustruthcom.
It should be on your screenright now.
If you're watching on YouTube,check it out.
(23:26):
It'll be right there on thehomepage.
So let us in fact wrap this upand get into what we're really
talking about today.
In the end, we've been talkingtoday about how do I accept
anxiety?
What are the steps?
Well, there are no steps, butif we look at a framework in a
third wave, mindfulness,acceptance-based cognitive
(23:47):
behavioral approach to anxietydisorders in the form of ACT,
acceptance and commitmenttherapy, and we use Russ
Harris's ACT Triflex, which is amuch more accessible,
simplified three-point sort ofapproach, if you will, we talk
today about the first point inthe Triflex, which is get
present.
Get present is about startingto build the awareness.
(24:08):
It's learning to be aware andobserve the process in action.
What's actually happening here?
Can I observe, acknowledge anddescribe it before leapfrogging
right into doing, meaning,resisting, judging, evaluating
and fixing mode?
Can I just at least start tosee how this process is working?
(24:29):
And people like me talk aboutprocess rather than outcome all
the time.
This is one of those reasons.
Can I start to learn to watchthe process of?
I'm triggered, I have areaction to that trigger and now
I want to do something aboutthat.
Can you learn to start to watchthat machine working?
Can you learn to start to watchthat process play out?
(24:51):
And that gives us a chance tosay you know what Automatically
resisting running, avoidingcalling for help, going for my
like safety devices or my copingmechanisms.
That's one possible outcome.
Maybe there are others.
Maybe it's just that I'm notreally able to think about it
because I just leapfrog rightinto doing mode, because that's
what I do all day long, everyday, because that's what every
(25:12):
human being does all day long,every day.
And then, when we go to part twoof the series, we'll look at
the next point of the act,triflex, which is open up, and
that's where we start to say,okay, if I'm aware of the way
this machine is working and I'maware that, like that, running
for those ice packs, forinstance, is one possible
outcome, what are other possibleoutcomes?
Now that I can see themechanism, the machine, the
(25:33):
process in action, now do I getto make a little bit more of a
considered choice and you knowwhat We'll talk about this next
time.
But if you do decide that, okay, I do in fact want to go get
the ice pack.
At least you have givenyourself a chance to actually
consider that and make aconscious decision to do it.
This is what I actually want todo right now, but I know that
(25:55):
I'm doing it.
I'm not doing it unconsciouslyor without consideration.
I've I've literally thoughtabout it for a few microseconds
and I've decided to get my icepack.
Cool, isn't that better thanjust automatic?
So if we want to learn to acceptanxiety, we got to start with
this thing first.
Yes, this is a practicalapplication of mindfulness in
the way that we know it best inanxiety recovery, and that's why
(26:18):
I want to start talking aboutthis.
That's why I'm doing thepractical mindfulness skills
thing.
I think it's really importantand it starts to give us a bit
of a framework that we can hangour hats on.
We just don't know how toactually accept anxiety or
surrender to it.
This can start to help us movedown that road.
So that is episode 309 of theAnxious Truth in the books 26
minutes, not too bad.
(26:39):
I got it under a half hour.
That's not too shabby.
If you are listening to thepodcast on Apple Podcasts or
iTunes or Spotify or a placethat lets you rate or review,
please leave a five star ratingif you dig it.
And if you really dig it, maybewrite a review, because it
helps more people to find thepodcast and then more people get
help, which is why I do this tobegin with.
Always a good thing, right?
So if you are watching, ofcourse, on YouTube, then feel
(27:02):
free to subscribe to the channel.
Maybe like the video, leave acomment.
You know all of the things.
Hit the notification bell sothat you know when I'm uploading
new content.
That's always a good thing todo.
And, yeah, I'll just remind you.
I'll remind you about mypractical mindfulness course, if
you want to check it out.
That is atlearntheanxioustruthcom, and I
will wrap it up as I always do,which is, you know, if you are
(27:24):
struggling and you're notexactly sure what to do today,
consider taking one tiny step,sort of, toward your fear, to
move through the fear and awayfrom avoidance, because if you
can learn to avoid a little lessand live a little more the way
you actually want to, no matterhow small that is, that actually
(27:45):
counts.
Those things add up, thoselessons add up over time.
They will make a difference ifyou let them.
Patient, kind to yourself.
Thanks for hanging out today.
I will see you on the nextepisode.
We are out.
I have to accept anxiety to overcome it.
But how do I accept anxiety?
It's a question I get asked allthe time.
This week, on the Anxious Truth, we're going to start a
three-part series to introduce aframework that you might be
able to use to actually acceptanxiety.
So let's get into that rightnow.
Hello everybody, welcome backto the Anxious Truth.
(00:31):
This is episode 309 of thepodcast recorded in January of
2025.
In case you are listening fromthe future, I am Drew Linsalata.
I am a therapist practicingunder supervision in the state
of New York, specializing in thetreatment of anxiety and
anxiety disorders.
I am a former sufferer ofanxiety disorders for many years
of my life, on and off, butbetter now a podcaster and
(00:52):
author on the topic,psychoeducator advocate and
general anxiety nerd.
So welcome to the podcast.
Today we're going to talk aboutthe subject of learning exactly
how to accept anxiety, becausethis is a really difficult one,
right?
How do I accept anxiety?
How do I willfully tolerate it?
(01:13):
How do I float?
How do I surrender?
There are still no steps tothis, but we can start to really
look at a framework that youmight be able to use to sort of
get into it, of course, if thisis the first time listening or
watching the Anxious Truth,welcome, I'm of get into it.
Of course, if this is the firsttime listening or watching the
Anxious Truth, welcome, I'm gladyou're here.
Of course, if you are areturning viewer or listener of
the podcast, welcome back.
(01:33):
I'm always glad to be hereevery week giving me your time
and attention.
And if you are listening to thepodcast or watching on YouTube
I don't know maybe, if youreally dig it, maybe consider
hitting the subscribe button andhitting the notification bell
so that you know when I uploadnew content, like the video.
Maybe leave a comment.
You know all this stuff.
It helps out the channel, ithelps me out.
It helps more people get theinformation that they're looking
(01:54):
for to try to get better.
So, yeah, if that is somethingthat you could do, that would be
awesome.
So let's talk about how do Iaccept anxiety.
Most people are going to want toknow what are the steps that I
use to accept anxiety or floatthrough it or surrender to it or
willfully tolerate it.
Well, really, there are noactual steps.
(02:15):
There are no steps for this.
Step one do this.
Step two, do that.
Unfortunately, we don't havesteps to give you, but we can
look at general frameworks.
One of the frameworks that Ioften use as a therapist and in
the work that I do is acceptanceand commitment therapy.
Now, I'm a big ACT fan.
I use principles of ACT.
I use principles ofmetacognitive therapy.
(02:35):
Basically, we're looking at thethird wave empirically supported
versions of CBT that are usedso successfully around the world
for a long time, with a lot ofdata behind it, to treat anxiety
disorders like the problems wetalk about here on this YouTube
channel or on this podcast panicdisorder, agoraphobia, ocd,
health anxiety, social anxiety.
We're looking for third waveempirically supported CBT
(02:58):
derivatives that we know workreally well in these particular
contexts.
That's what we're going to relyon.
We're going to relyspecifically on ACT, acceptance
and commitment therapy, and onething that we have to remember
about third wave modalities likeACT is that they are not only
acceptance-based treatments.
They are mindfulness-basedtreatments.
(03:20):
There's a big mindfulnesscomponent in the third wave.
In the most effectivetreatments we have for anxiety
disorders, there really is a bigmindfulness component in the
third wave.
In the most effectivetreatments we have for anxiety
disorders, there really is a bigmindfulness component and it's
like that in almost all of thethird wave treatments.
So this isn't necessarilyspecific to just ACT acceptance
and commitment therapy.
Now, in ACT, as it was designedand created by Dr Stephen Hayes
(03:41):
and if you guys have not seenthe interview that I did with
Stephen Hayes on the Disorderedpodcast, you should check it out
Stephen Hayes built somethingcalled the ACT Hexaflex into the
treatment, into the theory thatunderlies ACT, into the
framework.
The Hexaflex gives you sort ofsix points HEX, you know, hex
six.
It gives you sort of six pointsto work on when you're working
(04:02):
with a client in therapy usingACT.
But it's a little bitcomplicated and even Stephen
Hayes himself, a self-describedbehaviorism and cognitive
science nerd which I totallyrespect because I'm kind of that
way too even says that it'skind of complicated.
But then in the more practicalside we have Dr Russ Harris and
we also had Russ Harris onDisordered.
(04:23):
You should check that out.
He's the guy that wrote thebook the Happiness Trap.
Russ has a really great YouTubechannel.
He's very well known forputting ACT principles into very
accessible, friendly kind ofways.
He took the ACT hexaflex andsimplified it into three steps
that he calls the ACT triflexand in this three-part series
that we're starting today onepisode 309 of the podcast.
(04:45):
We're going to look at thefirst point in the ACT Triflex,
russ says.
Dr Harris says get present.
The other two are open up anddo what matters.
If we look at these three stepsif you will, even though
they're not steps, I'm going touse the word If we look at the
three principles of RussHarris's ACT Tr, triflex, get
(05:05):
present, open up and do whatmatters, we can kind of put
these together and say, well,this is how we accept, surrender
or willfully tolerate anxiety,panic, scary thoughts, intrusive
thoughts, that sort of stuff.
Today we're really going tofocus in episode three and I
we're going to talk about thefirst part of Russ's act Triflex
, which is get present.
(05:26):
What does it mean to getpresent?
Because I think that's sort ofthe first part of what we got to
look at as we get into this andwe can really start to learn
how to, you know, tolerate, howto surrender to, how to accept
anxiety.
So we're going to talk todayabout get present.
But before we get into getpresent, I just want to give you
guys a quick reminder that theAnxious Truth is more than just
(05:48):
this podcast episode.
It's more than just thisYouTube video.
There's a ton more resources onmy website at
theanxioustruthcom, includingall the social media content,
the previous podcast episodes,the books that I've written,
low-cost workshops and courses.
So if you are digging what yousee here today on the podcast
(06:09):
and you want more information,more resources to deal with your
anxiety, your anxiety recovery,go check out my website at
theanxioustruthcom.
Yeah, there's a lot there.
So go check it out.
Avail yourself of all the stuff, especially the stuff that's
free.
There's no reason not to get itright.
So let's get back to the acttriflex, the first part of it
get present, and how thatrelates to how we can learn to
(06:30):
accept anxiety.
Well, what does get presenteven mean?
Let's sort of decipher that,let's define that.
Get present means being able todevelop sort of nonjudgmental
awareness of what's actuallyhappening now.
What's actually happening rightnow?
The word actually I pickedspecifically and on purpose,
(06:51):
because what is actuallyhappening right now?
Can we start to build theability to observe and describe
what is actually happening whenwe are anxious or triggered or
uncertain or frightened ordisturbed or uncomfortable.
What is actually happening?
I've said that now like 10times in a row, but there's a
reason for that.
We're not talking about what itmeans we're not talking about,
(07:13):
if you like it.
We're not talking about whatmight happen.
We're not talking about whatyou are afraid might happen.
We're not talking about whatyou hope doesn't happen.
We're not talking about whyit's happening or trying to
figure it out.
We're not talking about whatshould I do next?
Can we learn to actually lookat, observe and acknowledge what
(07:34):
is going on right now?
I think it's really important.
Clearly, we're talking about ananxiety context here, because
that's what we do on the AnxiousTruth.
But we have to look beyond that.
We are essentially judging,evaluating and resisting
machines all day long.
That's what human beings do.
We're pros at that.
We stink at doing anythingdifferent than that.
(07:54):
We are liking and disliking,loving and hating, wanting and
don't wanting, taking andleaving all day long.
This is what we do when we areawake.
We use our big old prefrontalcortex all the time to try to
make meaning out of everythingwe encounter, including our
internal experiences.
That means figuring it out,wondering why it's happening,
(08:16):
explaining it, liking it, notliking it, fixing it,
controlling it, mastering it.
This is a problem.
This is a problem.
The fact that we have theability to do that puts us at
the top of the food chain.
It makes us human, it makes uswho we are.
But it does get in the waybecause we start to use this
skill and we go into judgment,evaluation, resisting, fixing,
(08:39):
figuring out almostautomatically because we can,
and we start to not recognizewhen it's useful and when it's
not.
So this starts to get in theway and most of us have no idea
that we're even doing it all daylong because it's kind of our
default mode.
We never spent any timeexamining that and working on
(09:00):
this is important being ratherthan always doing, because
really, when you look at it,evaluating and judging and sort
of unconsciously kind of kneejerk automatically reacting to
everything.
I'm not talking about justanxiety, I'm talking about every
day, all day long.
We do this.
That is doing right.
We're always doing evaluating,figuring out, trying to fix,
(09:23):
trying to control, trying tomanage liking and disliking,
pushing away, welcoming, hugging, running.
These are all doing things.
We're always in doing mode.
Clearly, if I'm having anexperience I don't like and
scares me, I should probably bedoing something about that.
But on the flip side thisspeaks to how do I accept
(09:45):
anxiety, how do I surrender toit, how do I tolerate it?
Just having experiences andthis is especially true for the
experiences that we hate but wejust simply cannot avoid or
change is an exercise in being.
This is where we learn tosuspend the doing.
Let me repeat that Suspend thedoing, the resisting, the
(10:08):
managing, the explaining, thefighting, the fixing, the
judging, the berating ourselves,the trying to figure out.
This is all doing, interpreting.
What does this mean?
What's going to happen next?
I don't want that to happen.
I want something different.
I just want this over.
That is doing.
(10:31):
Accepting anxiety, which is sucha mystery to so many people,
and I get it because it's notnecessarily intuitive looks like
suspending of all that doing.
But then where does that leaveus?
And this is where this sort ofstuff the act, triflex and the
first point in that get presentcan really help us.
It leaves us in a state ofbeing If we are working on
suspending all the doing and youhear this all the time the
(10:53):
object of the game in recoveryis to learn to do less about
your anxiety, not how to do moreabout it.
So if we try to suspend all ofour doing, which is behavioral
doing and also cognitive andemotional doing, we wind up in a
state of being.
What is a state of being?
Being with our experiences andourselves as they are, as we are
(11:14):
, exactly as we are at any givenmoment, without the thrashing
about and resisting.
What we do not want and clearlywe do not want to be anxious,
afraid or uncomfortableAccepting anxiety, surrendering,
tolerating, floating pick thewords you like, I don't care is
about dropping out of doing andinto being.
And this only starts when welearn to be aware of the
(11:38):
constant automatic doing.
This is really important, ofthe constant automatic doing.
This is really important.
If we cannot start let meintroduce the word here if we
cannot start with mindfulawareness, then we are stuck in
doing mode and we are insistingthat it's clearly the only way.
And then we keep asking but howdo I accept anxiety?
(11:58):
So let's summarize this for asecond.
Let's think about this All Iwant to do all day long, because
it's automatic for all humanbeings.
It's probably automatic for youtoo, especially with
experiences, internalexperiences, feelings,
sensations, thoughts, emotionsthat we hate, that scare us.
All we want to do is go intodoing mode to get away from it,
manage it, avoid it, escape it,fix it.
(12:20):
It's all we want to do.
But accepting anxiety is aboutbeing in being mode, where we
can just be with the experience,without the doing part.
And now you can see why, sincewe spend all day long in doing
mode evaluating, judging,mastering, controlling
everything, not just anxiety itseems completely insane to say,
(12:41):
well, how am I?
But tell me how, tell me how toaccept anxiety, tell me how to
surrender it, tell me how towillfully tolerate it.
The reason why it seems soforeign, even if it's an
attractive concept to mostpeople who are watching this
video or listening to thispodcast or reading my books.
It seems like an attractiveprinciple because, yeah, it does
make sense.
(13:02):
If I stop resisting, I canlearn, I can handle it.
But it's like trying todescribe a color to someone who
doesn't have eyesight Right.
It's outside the realm of ourusual conscious experience.
We're in doing mode all thetime.
What do you mean?
I can't be.
What do you mean?
I have to stop doing?
We do, this is what we do.
We do things about stuff thatwe don't like, but really do we
(13:24):
have to?
This is where we begin tochallenge that assertion and
this is where mindfulness I saidmindful awareness, said I was
going to introduce that word.
This is where mindfulness comesinto the picture.
So we hear mindfulness andmeditation all the time in
anxiety recovery, in mentalhealth circles, in general
wellness circles.
I talk about it all the time.
(13:44):
Clearly I am a fan, but we gotto talk about what mindfulness
is not in the context of anxietyrecovery and what mindfulness
is.
Mindfulness is not, hasliterally has nothing whatsoever
to do with creating particularoutcomes.
Right, we're not trying tolearn how to calm down.
That's not a thing.
We're not trying to learn howto calm down.
That's not a thing.
We're not trying to learn howto like quiet our minds.
(14:07):
We're not trying to learn to bepeaceful.
We're not trying to learn tocreate any particular outcomes.
We're not trying to learn tostop anxiety or panic.
We're not trying to learn toturn off scary thoughts.
That is not in any way whatmindfulness is, or meditation in
our context.
That's frustrating because wetry to use it that way and then
it doesn't work and we thinkthat like, oh, something is
(14:29):
wrong because this magicmindfulness and meditation
that's supposed to let me chooseserenity isn't working.
But that's not really what itis not in our context at least,
and honestly, from my ownpersonal opinion, not in any
context.
That's the wrong way to thinkabout the idea of mindfulness or
the concept of mindfulness.
What is mindfulness in ourcontext?
(14:50):
What is mindfulness in general?
Right, it's a way to buildawareness of how automatic our
reactions are and how almostunconscious, not subconscious.
We're not talking aboutsubconscious.
We're talking about howautomatic, unreasoned, unthought
about, unconsidered,unconscious, our resistance, our
(15:10):
fixing, our desire to control,master our urges to get away
from uncomfortable things.
Mindfulness is learning towatch that process in action.
It's a way to build awarenessso that when we get awareness,
we can start to make differentchoices.
Right?
So this starts to be a bit of atricky topic, because even the
words mindfulness and meditationcarry so many different
(15:32):
connotations.
Right, like, people say that itsounds like a very spiritual
thing, and in certain instancesit might be a spiritual thing
for some people, but that isn'tnecessarily automatic.
We're not automatically tryingto go for spiritual things.
It's auto, you know it's.
This must be a calming thing,right?
This is how we learn how tocalm down.
This is how we learn how tocreate a quiet mind.
(15:54):
This is how I create particularoutcomes in my life, like peace
and serenity and like Zen andhappiness.
They're techniques, right, likethese are techniques for
feeling better, right?
Isn't that what mindfulness is?
And meditation theseconnotations.
It's important to address thoseconnotations, right.
But in our context, if we wantto take the mystery out of all
(16:17):
of this and we want to sort ofapply mindfulness in a practical
way in anxiety recovery, we'vegot to kind of pare all that
down right.
We want to sort of applymindfulness in a practical way
in anxiety recovery, we've gotto kind of pare all that down
right.
We have to understand thatthere's a reason why people do
think of those connotations whenthey hear those words, or maybe
they interpret them that way.
But we have to kind of getright directly to the crux of it
, which is forget all that otherstuff.
(16:38):
We just want to go to theobserving and being aware part,
because that's the part that hasto come first.
Even if you insist that youwant meditation and mindfulness
to create a particular state, aparticular outcome of calm or
peace or serenity or happiness,if you don't start with the
observing and awareness part,you're not going to get there
and it's going to be reallyfrustrating.
(17:00):
So using mindfulness in thecontext of anxiety disorder
recovery is about developing anawareness and an ability to
observe your experiences,including your own feelings,
thoughts, bodily sensations andsort of automatic drives, all
the internal stuff, right, welearn about mindfulness and we
practice mindfulness so that wecan start to see this machine
(17:21):
working.
And if you're a therapy clientof mine and you're listening to
this or watching this, yes, I'mgoing to talk about watching the
machine.
You guys have heard this before.
We have to see that machineworking, we have to see it turn
on, we have to see it in actionbefore anything can change in a
meaningful way.
It is the observing andawareness and acknowledging part
(17:41):
.
That's what we mean bypractical mindfulness in the
context of anxiety disorders andin the context of learning how
to accept anxiety or surrenderto it or willfully tolerate it
or whatever.
So when Dr Harris, when RussHarris says, get present as the
first part of the act triflex,like here's these three steps
that we can use, practical stepsthis is what he's talking about
(18:02):
.
Right, can you learn to beaware and observe what is
happening when you are anxious?
Can you first just look at anddescribe the experience?
Can you do that?
For instance, you might say toyourself my heart is pounding, I
am sweating, I'm having reallyloud thoughts about self-harm,
or maybe I'm having loudthoughts about being a bad
(18:24):
person.
I am upset, I am afraid, I amfrightened, I am disturbed, I am
uncomfortable.
These are observations.
Right, those are justobservations and
acknowledgements.
This is what's happening rightnow.
Get present.
What is happening right now?
That's actually happening.
I'm having thoughts.
What is happening right now?
That's actually happening.
I'm having thoughts, I'm havingemotions, I'm having bodily
sensations.
That's what's happening.
(18:45):
You know what else areobservations?
I'm having thoughts aboutrunning out of this birthday
party.
I'm feeling unsafe.
I am experiencing an urge to aplace that feels safer.
I am having the urge to arguewith these scary thoughts.
I'm having the urge to fightthis and try to make it go away.
Those are also observations,because those things are
(19:06):
happening.
I'm having thoughts, I'm havingemotions, I'm having sensations
, I'm having urges.
Look at all the observationshere.
Looking at the experience, whatis actually happening?
There's a lot happening here.
If we just stop and look at it.
If I can first look and observemy experience, I can start to
gain that awareness of theprocess.
(19:27):
I can start to see that themachine is in action, it's been
turned on, it's running right.
If I start to observe andacknowledge, then I start to
begin to learn that very quickly, after experiencing sensations
or thoughts or big emotions thatI don't like, that make me
uncomfortable, I want to startfixing them.
I can watch myself, want to golaunch directly into doing mode
(19:51):
and I use air quotes, right, ifI can see that, if I can see
that, if I can observe that,like this is what's happening,
this is what I'm feeling, thisis what my body is doing, these
are the thoughts I'm having,these are the emotions I'm
having, these are the urges I'mhaving.
If I can start to see that,then I give myself a fighting
chance to stay in being mode, orobserving mode, if you will.
(20:12):
I give myself at least somechance to refrain from judging
and evaluating unconsciously andautomatically.
So maybe I can make a moreconscious choice as to what I do
next when I'm triggered, right.
So this is where people saythings like but you don't
understand, it's automatic tocall for help, it's automatic to
(20:33):
run away from my anxiety.
But really is it Like?
Is it also possible that that'sjust one possible outcome that
exists, on sort of a chain ofevents that usually happens
without even thinking about it?
So, yes, one possible outcomeis I run for the ice pack or I
call my safe person.
But that's just one possiblething that might happen on an
(20:56):
unconscious or unreasoned orunconsidered chain of events.
And again, I'm talking aboutunconscious, not self-conscious.
Right, in the end we have toacknowledge that there is no
difference between automaticallyreaching for an ice pack when
you're anxious and automaticallyliking or disliking the weather
.
There's no difference.
It is the same process inaction in two different contexts
(21:18):
and it is kind of automatic andunconscious to most human
beings.
I mean, it's okay to dislikeanxiety and the weather, but
going down that unconsciouschain to resisting and fighting
anxiety or the weather is not inany way helpful.
And we talk about this stuff allthe time.
We resist it, we fight it, itgets worse.
I have to learn to stopfighting.
I have to learn to accept it,tolerate it, surrender it.
(21:41):
How do I do that?
Well, this is the first conceptin learning how to accept, how
to accept anxiety.
Again, I'm not really givingyou particular steps to do, but
this is the first concept we canstart to apply in learning how
to accept anxiety Get present,learn to watch, observe and be
(22:01):
aware rather than leapfroggingdirectly to resistant doing.
We practice that first, then wecan work on getting to the
second part of the ACT Triflex,which Russ Harris says is open
up.
Right, we're going to get tothat in the next episode of the
podcast in two weeks.
That would be episode 310.
So come back to that one.
If this topic is at allinteresting to you and I suspect
(22:23):
that it probably is interestingto you because you're watching
this podcast and probably askingthe question, but how do I
accept anxiety?
And if you kind of think thatlearning practical mindfulness
skills that you can apply inyour anxiety recovery is a good
thing, I am in fact working on apractical mindfulness skills
group that's going to run forsix weeks with a very small,
very small group of participants, like 10 people, at a very low
(22:45):
cost.
I don't, I'm not a $6,000mastermind guy.
This is six weeks of practicalmindfulness lessons and weekly
meetings via Zoom.
We can practice mindfulnessskills together, we can talk
about the experiences, we can dosome little lectures on that
and we can work on practicingthose skills every day to start
to build our awareness and,ultimately, our choice.
(23:06):
So if this is a topic near anddear to your heart and you wanna
learn a little bit more aboutthat, as of this recording,
which is January.
What is today, the 14th in 2025,?
I haven't released the fullcourse full course curriculum
yet.
There are no signups available,but you can go to
learntheanxioustruthcom.
It should be on your screenright now.
If you're watching on YouTube,check it out.
(23:26):
It'll be right there on thehomepage.
So let us in fact wrap this upand get into what we're really
talking about today.
In the end, we've been talkingtoday about how do I accept
anxiety?
What are the steps?
Well, there are no steps, butif we look at a framework in a
third wave, mindfulness,acceptance-based cognitive
(23:47):
behavioral approach to anxietydisorders in the form of ACT,
acceptance and commitmenttherapy, and we use Russ
Harris's ACT Triflex, which is amuch more accessible,
simplified three-point sort ofapproach, if you will, we talk
today about the first point inthe Triflex, which is get
present.
Get present is about startingto build the awareness.
(24:08):
It's learning to be aware andobserve the process in action.
What's actually happening here?
Can I observe, acknowledge anddescribe it before leapfrogging
right into doing, meaning,resisting, judging, evaluating
and fixing mode?
Can I just at least start tosee how this process is working?
(24:29):
And people like me talk aboutprocess rather than outcome all
the time.
This is one of those reasons.
Can I start to learn to watchthe process of?
I'm triggered, I have areaction to that trigger and now
I want to do something aboutthat.
Can you learn to start to watchthat machine working?
Can you learn to start to watchthat process play out?
(24:51):
And that gives us a chance tosay you know what Automatically
resisting running, avoidingcalling for help, going for my
like safety devices or my copingmechanisms.
That's one possible outcome.
Maybe there are others.
Maybe it's just that I'm notreally able to think about it
because I just leapfrog rightinto doing mode, because that's
what I do all day long, everyday, because that's what every
(25:12):
human being does all day long,every day.
And then, when we go to part twoof the series, we'll look at
the next point of the act,triflex, which is open up, and
that's where we start to say,okay, if I'm aware of the way
this machine is working and I'maware that, like that, running
for those ice packs, forinstance, is one possible
outcome, what are other possibleoutcomes?
Now that I can see themechanism, the machine, the
(25:33):
process in action, now do I getto make a little bit more of a
considered choice and you knowwhat We'll talk about this next
time.
But if you do decide that, okay, I do in fact want to go get
the ice pack.
At least you have givenyourself a chance to actually
consider that and make aconscious decision to do it.
This is what I actually want todo right now, but I know that
(25:55):
I'm doing it.
I'm not doing it unconsciouslyor without consideration.
I've I've literally thoughtabout it for a few microseconds
and I've decided to get my icepack.
Cool, isn't that better thanjust automatic?
So if we want to learn to acceptanxiety, we got to start with
this thing first.
Yes, this is a practicalapplication of mindfulness in
the way that we know it best inanxiety recovery, and that's why
(26:18):
I want to start talking aboutthis.
That's why I'm doing thepractical mindfulness skills
thing.
I think it's really importantand it starts to give us a bit
of a framework that we can hangour hats on.
We just don't know how toactually accept anxiety or
surrender to it.
This can start to help us movedown that road.
So that is episode 309 of theAnxious Truth in the books 26
minutes, not too bad.
(26:39):
I got it under a half hour.
That's not too shabby.
If you are listening to thepodcast on Apple Podcasts or
iTunes or Spotify or a placethat lets you rate or review,
please leave a five star ratingif you dig it.
And if you really dig it, maybewrite a review, because it
helps more people to find thepodcast and then more people get
help, which is why I do this tobegin with.
Always a good thing, right?
So if you are watching, ofcourse, on YouTube, then feel
(27:02):
free to subscribe to the channel.
Maybe like the video, leave acomment.
You know all of the things.
Hit the notification bell sothat you know when I'm uploading
new content.
That's always a good thing todo.
And, yeah, I'll just remind you.
I'll remind you about mypractical mindfulness course, if
you want to check it out.
That is atlearntheanxioustruthcom, and I
will wrap it up as I always do,which is, you know, if you are
(27:24):
struggling and you're notexactly sure what to do today,
consider taking one tiny step,sort of, toward your fear, to
move through the fear and awayfrom avoidance, because if you
can learn to avoid a little lessand live a little more the way
you actually want to, no matterhow small that is, that actually
(27:45):
counts.
Those things add up, thoselessons add up over time.
They will make a difference ifyou let them.
Patient, kind to yourself.
Thanks for hanging out today.
I will see you on the nextepisode.
We are out.
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