December 18, 2024 • 23 mins
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Are you tired of trying countless techniques to "rewire" your anxious brain, only to find yourself still stuck in the same patterns? In this eye-opening episode, we're diving deep into the science of neuroplasticity and anxiety recovery to reveal why popular brain rewiring methods might actually be reinforcing your anxiety.
You'll learn why your brain doesn't have a delete button (and why that's actually good news), what real recovery looks like, and how to build new neural pathways that give you options when anxiety shows up. Whether you're dealing with panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, or chronic anxiety, this episode provides a fresh perspective on recovery that goes beyond simple coping techniques.
This isn't about learning to stay calm - it's about discovering how to live fully even when anxiety is present. If you're ready for a different approach to anxiety recovery, one that's based on neuroscience rather than quick fixes, this episode is for you.
For full show notes on this episode:
https://theanxioustruth.com/307
Support The Anxious Truth: If you find the podcast helpful and want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee. Other ways to support my work like buying a book or signing up for a low cost workshop can be found on my website. None of this is never required, but always appreciated!
Interested in doing therapy with me? For more information on working with me directly to overcome your anxiety, follow this link.
Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to The Anxious Truth does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the host or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your own well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you're constantly afraid of your next panic attack
, or you've been googling waysto stop disturbing thoughts, or
if you're tired of living infear of your own anxiety
symptoms.
This is going to challenge whatyou think you might know about
rewiring an anxious brain.
Your attempts to rewire yourbrain might actually be keeping
you stuck, and here's why.
Here's why, hey everybody,welcome back to the Anxious
(00:29):
Truth.
This is the podcast and YouTubechannel where we talk about all
things anxiety, anxietydisorders and anxiety recovery.
I'm Drew Linsalata, creator andhost of this channel, therapist
practicing under supervision,specializing in anxiety
disorders, author, an educatorand an advocate on this topic
and, yes, unfortunately a formeranxiety sufferer myself for
(00:49):
many, many years, but doing muchbetter now.
Today we need to talk aboutsomething that's everywhere in
anxiety recovery circles rightnow this idea of rewiring an
anxious brain, and if you'rewatching this, you've probably
seen countless videos andarticles that promise to sort of
teach you how to rewire yourbrain and to stop being anxious,
to finally be free of panicattack, to make those terrifying
(01:11):
thoughts go away, and I kind ofget it.
Who wouldn't want that?
I mean, who wouldn't want tojust rewire their brain and make
all this stuff just disappear.
But here's the thing Almosteverything you've been told
about rewiring an anxious brainis mostly wrong, not just
slightly wrong, butfundamentally backwards.
And if you're trying to rewireyour brain the wrong way, you
(01:34):
might actually be reinforcingthe very patterns that you're
trying to break.
So let's start the discussionwith a little something that
might blow your mind.
Your brain doesn't have adelete button.
That's right.
It doesn't have a delete button.
You can't erase pathways orsort of remove information
that's already there.
(01:54):
This is why, if you're tryingto delete your anxious response
or erase your fear, it neveractually works, because the
brain simply doesn't work thatway.
So think about that for asecond.
So many videos or articles orprograms promise to help you
eliminate anxiety, but that'sfighting against basic brain
(02:16):
function.
Your brain is designed to learnand add information, not to
delete information.
Now, this is actually good news, even though it might not feel
that way right now.
So sort of, stick with me andwe're going to walk through it.
The first thing to remember isthat your anxious brain isn't
broken or damaged, which issomething that anxious people
(02:37):
often think, and that's notcorrect.
It's actually just doingexactly what it's supposed to do
.
It's trying to keep you safe.
We talk about this stuff allthe time.
The problem is that it'sworking too hard at that job.
It's getting a little bitoverzealous and overprotective.
It's like having a helicopterparent that won't let you do
anything because everythingmight be dangerous, and I think
(02:57):
we can all sort of relate tothat example.
So think about what happens whenyou feel, for instance, your
heart starts to race.
If your anxiety presentationsort of includes that Right now,
if your heart starts to speedup and pound, your brain
probably has one primary pathwaythat represents a response and
that would be racing heart meanspanic attack and panic attack
(03:19):
means danger must prevent panicattack at all costs.
Or maybe when you get that sortof floaty, disconnected, dpdr
feeling that's depersonalizationand derealization your brain
immediately goes to this meansI'm losing control or I'm losing
my sanity or I'm slipping away.
So I must make this stop rightnow.
And for those dealing withmaybe disturbing or intrusive
(03:40):
thoughts, maybe your brain'sonly pathway for response is
these thoughts mean somethingterrible about me.
I have to stop them and makethem go away or definitely prove
them to be inaccurate.
But before we dive deeper intothis rewiring process of what it
actually looks like, I kind ofwant to just remind you that the
Anxious Truth is more than justthis podcast episode or this
(04:03):
YouTube video.
If you head on over totheanxious truthcom, you'll find
the other 300 and somewhat freepodcast episodes and videos
just like this one.
They all provide a little bitmore detailed information on the
many aspects of anxietydisorders and recovery.
You'll find the books that I'vewritten that also break down
these concepts in greater detail, and there's a bunch of very
low cost, accessible workshopsthat focus on specific
(04:25):
challenges like panic attacks oragoraphobia.
We have one on worry slashrumination, which is a big
problem in our community.
Plus, you'll find the links toall of my socials, so feel free
to follow along on the platformof your choice.
I'm kind of on all of them.
Check it all out.
Most of it is free.
Otherwise it's very low costand it's all at
theanxioustruthcom, so availyourself of all the goodies when
(04:50):
you get a chance.
So let's talk for a minute aboutwhat rewiring your anxious
brain actually does mean.
And since we can't delete stufffrom our brains remember
there's no delete button whatwe're really doing is adding new
information and creating newpathways.
Remember, our brains aredesigned to add and learn, not
delete.
So one way you might considerthinking of this is like adding
new roads to a city.
(05:11):
We're not demolishing the oldroads.
While we do that, we'rebuilding new ones that give us
more choices and options forgetting where we want to go.
And this is all aboutdeveloping choices and options,
because that's part ofpsychological flexibility, which
you've heard me talk aboutbefore.
But this is where we need totalk about something that might
sound simple but is actuallyquite profound and often very
(05:34):
difficult for people to put intopractice.
Recovery isn't just aboutbuilding new neural pathways.
It's also about developing sortof a fundamentally different
attitude toward anxiety andreally toward discomfort in
general.
Instead of seeing your anxietyas an enemy that has to be
vanquished or prevented, westart to develop an attitude of
(05:55):
openness and willingness towardit, and you've heard me and Josh
Fletcher, my partner onDisorder, talk about willful
tolerance.
Now, as far as developing anattitude of openness and
willingness toward your anxietyif you're new around here,
admittedly, I understand thatmight sound a little bit
ridiculous, but it is part ofthe rewiring and the building of
new pathways.
So you might be thinking rightnow like willing to experience
(06:19):
anxiety or being open to panicattacks.
That sounds patently absurd andyou're right, it does sound
backwards.
There's so much paradox in thisthing that we do together.
It does go against, likesurvival instinct and everything
that that is telling you to do.
It contradicts years or maybeeven decades of learned
responses and beliefs aboutanxiety and about discomfort,
(06:39):
and it certainly goes against awhole lot of the popular sort of
anxiety management advice andinformation you're going to hear
online, especially in 2024.
So let's just take a look atsome real examples because it
might help you relate a littlebit.
Let's say you're somebody whopanics when you feel dizzy or
lightheaded, which is a lot oflisteners at the Anxious Truth
(07:00):
Right now.
You probably immediately try tosit down or you grab onto
something or you rush home, andanybody who's got an anxiety
disorder that leans like hotdeath on the shopping cart as
they force themselves throughthe supermarket understands what
I'm talking about.
The new pathway that we'rebuilding might say well, this is
an uncomfortable experience,but I felt it before and I've
(07:22):
always gotten through it.
I can keep going.
Even while I feel this way.
Maybe I don't have to lean onthe shopping cart, grab the wall
or go home.
Now for those of you say withhealth anxiety, maybe every like
weird feeling in your heart,every palpitation or skip beat,
sends you straight to checkingyour pulse or Googling your
symptoms.
Now remember, we can't deletethat pathway.
(07:44):
It's there because your brainis trying to keep you safe.
It's just sort of lost its wayin that task.
But we can build a new pathwaythat says my heart does weird
things sometimes, that I'manxious, because that's what
anxious hearts do.
I've had this checked out.
I've been told it's okay, I canhandle this sensation.
And to maybe bring an exampleinto sort of the intrusive
(08:04):
thoughts or OCD world maybeyou're having thoughts about
harm or relationship thoughts orwhatever flavor your OCD might
take Right now.
Your only pathway might be Ineed to know for sure about this
.
I have to figure this out.
I have to make these thoughtsstop.
I have to make them from coming, prevent them from coming true.
The new pathway that we'rebuilding that lives alongside
(08:27):
the old pathway says well, thesethoughts make me feel really
awful, because they do, but Ican let them be there without
engaging with them.
So you notice that in each oneof these examples we wind up
with alternate options andchoices for how you respond when
you find yourself in atriggered state Right now, you
may only see one possibleresponse, and that, generally
(08:50):
speaking, is avoidance orrunning, or preventing or
resistance.
Rewiring an anxious mind doesleave that option intact,
because, again, we cannot deletethat, but it helps us see that
it was never the only choice.
The rewiring process will showus that we actually do have
power and agency, and we do havea say in what happens after the
(09:10):
initial sort of OMG, oh my God,moment when we're triggered.
So this, though, is where theprinciples might be
generalizable, but theapplication gets really personal
and unique for each person thatstruggles with anxiety, and we
got to talk about this becausewe never want to make it seem
like one size fits all.
It does, but the way you getinto that one size is going to
(09:33):
vary widely depending on yourspecific circumstances.
I mean, maybe you've beendealing with panic attacks for
20 years, or maybe you developedhealth anxiety after a genuine
medical scare or some medicalmalpractice.
That happens.
You could be struggling withdisturbing thoughts that feel
completely at odds and againstwho you really are as a person
and that terrifies you.
(09:53):
I mean, add that to your ownlived experiences, your own
beliefs, your own fears and yourown obstacles, this process can
get really complicated anddifficult.
That's why, while it soundslike we're always saying just do
it or just face your fears,simplifying it to that level
isn't necessarily helpful,because this isn't just about
(10:13):
knowing something intellectuallywe can talk about like the
science of neural pathways allwe want.
We can talk about this untilwe're blue in the face.
But it's not about just talkingand listening and learning and
understanding from anintellectual standpoint.
It's about being willing tochallenge sometimes some very
deeply held beliefs and sort oflongstanding patterns that feel
(10:36):
like they're keeping you safe.
You really think that this isthe right way to be.
That one option, the onlypathway that your brain has
right now, which is run, fight,resist, stay safe really feels
correct to you.
So if you're going to challengethat and open yourself up to
other options to build those newpathways and do that rewiring
air quotes it's often going tofeel very wrong or risky or
(10:58):
dangerous or even reckless.
So when people in my socialmedia comments section say
things like easier said thandone this is why they say that
and, to be completely honestwith you, they are right.
If you've ever looked at someof this content that I produce
and said well, sure, make itsound easy.
I do make it sound easy, but Iknow that it is not right, so we
always try and acknowledge thataround here we have to.
(11:19):
So to move on, I want to get alittle bit more practical and
maybe personal about therewiring process.
Building new pathways isn'tabout positive thinking or
telling yourself everything isfine.
It's about actual experiences.
Your brain is not going torewire itself simply because you
(11:39):
tell it to.
It rewires itself when you showit something new through
experience.
That's a raw deal, because thatmeans that you have to take
what feels like a risk to dodifferent things in order to
have different experiences, inorder to feed those to your
brain, in order to give yourselfnew options, write new pathways
(12:02):
and rewire right.
So that's the process.
This goes on.
We can't just tell our brainsto rewire, no matter how much we
read, listen to or watch videos.
We have to actually haveexperiences, and this is where
it gets so sticky.
As I was saying before, thedegree of difficulty in that
process of having newexperiences varies enormously
(12:22):
from person to person.
You know, maybe you're a personwho's lived through some trauma
or some really challengingevents in your past.
Or maybe for you, being willingto feel out of control, willing
to do that, opening up yourpossibilities might feel out of
the question right now, andunderstandably out of the
question right now andunderstandably If you've had
(12:43):
actual health scares, maybebeing willing to experience
physical symptoms withoutseeking reassurance and safety
might feel completelyirresponsible.
Or, like if you're a parent,for instance, with intrusive
thoughts about harm, beingwilling to let those thoughts be
there might feel absolutelyunthinkable.
That's okay.
Like listening to my wordstoday might resonate at some
level, but actually putting theminto practice might take some
(13:04):
time, and I say this all thetime you get there, when you get
there for your own reasons.
Be patient with yourself andrecognize the factors that might
be unique obstacles in yoursort of brain rewiring quest or
journey.
I hate the word journey, but Ijust used it anyway.
That sucks.
(13:26):
Anyway, what we're reallytalking about here is opening
ourselves up to a learningapproach to anxiety.
So, instead of seeing eachanxious moment as a threat to be
eliminated which we now knowisn't even possible on a
consistent level we're trying tosee it as an opportunity to
learn something new aboutourselves and our sense of
self-efficacy and our strengthsand our capabilities and what we
can really do if we're pressedto do it, and then what we can
(13:48):
learn from that.
So, when you feel that wave ofpanic coming on, instead of
immediately fighting it, youmight wind up asking what can I
learn if I let this be here?
When those disturbing thoughtsshow up, instead of instantly
trying to solve them?
You might wonder to yourselfwell, what happens if I didn't
engage with these, even though Ican clearly hear them?
What happens if I don't answerthem or have a conversation with
(14:10):
them?
But here's the part that willstart to trip people up, and I
almost feel like I need to saythis twice, but I will spare you
that repetition.
When you're building these newpathways, like I said before,
the old ones do not disappear.
You're not going to stop havinganxious responses or scary
(14:30):
thoughts.
The goal is never to not feelanxiety again.
The goal here in the rewiringis to build new pathways that
give you options and choiceswhen anxiety shows up.
But the old pathways are stillthere.
That's true, and this is whypeople often get really
frustrated in recovery.
They will say things like I'mdoing everything right, but I
(14:52):
still get those weird breathingsensations, for instance, or I'm
having those terrible thoughtsor my heart still races whenever
I even think about getting inthe car and driving away from my
house, which might be my safeplace Then they see that as a
failure because they'reexpecting the rewiring process
to happen, almost because theyjust wanted to before having
experiences, and they're hopingthat the rewiring process will
(15:15):
eliminate those responses, orthat resistant response or that
anxious response or that fightor flight response.
That's not the way this worksright and that's not failure.
If you feel the fear or youhave doubt, or you have the
thoughts or you have thesymptoms, it's simply not.
Having those things and workingthrough them is part of the
(15:36):
rewiring process.
If we're talking about rewiringan anxious brain, we cannot
rewire an anxious brain unlesswe are in the anxious state.
There's just that part of thedeal.
We have to activate the anxiety, to feed new information into
that model, and that's where therewiring comes from building
those new pathways.
So remember we started with theidea that there's no delete
(15:58):
button in your brain.
Those sensations and thoughtswill still show up.
But when we do rewire and buildnew pathways which really what
we're doing is not necessarilyrewiring but adding wiring.
Maybe that's a better way tosay it where we're adding more
wiring, more circuits.
When we add those new pathways,when those scary things show up
(16:19):
, you have different options forhow to respond when they do,
and that makes a big difference,because having options and how
we respond is the thing thatfrees us from the restrictions
or the conditions or the I can't, or I can only if I have my
safe person or whatever ithappens to be.
But the reality is that recoveryoften looks like being more
(16:42):
anxious in the short term.
This is true, again, if we canonly rewire by activating the
anxiety.
If we have to activate the fear, to write new information into
that model and build newpathways and add that extra
wiring, then you're doing theopposite of what your brain has
been telling you to do.
In the short term, you'rechoosing to not run away from a
(17:04):
racing heart, for instance.
You're choosing not to try tofrantically and urgently solve
your disturbing or intrusivethoughts.
You're choosing to let thatdizzy feeling be there while you
continue your day, which is noteasy.
And that's where courage comesin.
So this isn't like movieHollywood kind of courage where
you're just fearless andcompetent, looks like nothing
(17:25):
bothers you.
This is like the real kind oflike actual, daily, real person
coverage, where you are scaredand unsure and uncertain and not
quite convinced that you shouldbe doing this, but you're
willing to try it anyway, you'rewilling to learn.
Maybe you're willing to besurprised about what you might
discover about yourself Because,remember, in the context we're
(17:46):
in right now, even though thethoughts trigger feelings about
being in danger, even thougheverything feels very scary,
even though it feels likesomething as bad as going to
happen in our context disorderedanxiety we feel afraid, but we
are still safe.
You have to live there.
You got to start there first.
So remember, there's norewiring to be done, no new
(18:07):
pathways, no new options to openup.
If you stop at what it feelslike Correct, it does feel
unsafe, but it is not.
That is a core component ofeverything we talk about here.
So keep that in mind as we go,and I think the key here is sort
of finding your starting point,wherever that might be.
You start where you are right,being willing to learn from that
(18:28):
experience, wherever it is atthe moment.
So maybe you're just not readyto have a full-blown panic
attack without fighting it.
Many people listening to thisare at that point.
I'm just not ready to do that,drew, and guess what?
That's okay.
Maybe you could start bywilling to feel slightly
elevated anxiety for a fewminutes without running or
fighting it.
Or maybe you're not ready tocompletely ignore your
(18:49):
disturbing thoughts.
I get it Feels wrong to do that, feels too dangerous, that's
fine.
Perhaps you can sort ofpractice letting just one
thought pass by without engagingwith it, test it, experiment.
We talked a couple episodes agoabout the use of micro exposures
.
That counts too.
That's an opportunity to startto do little experiments and
test things out without goingall the way in and diving
(19:13):
completely off the cliff.
To start to open yourself up tothe possibility that like, oh,
if I do have these otherexperiences, I do wind up okay,
so I can start having tryingthese new things, trying
different options, behavingdifferently, feed new
information into the model,build new pathways on top of the
old ones or next to the oldones, add more wiring and rewire
(19:33):
, if you will.
Rewire is probably the wrongword.
Now that I think about it.
Anyway, what do I want to talkabout?
Let's talk about again.
This is not about just thinkingyour way into new beliefs or new
pathways or rewiring or addingwiring just by talking or
thinking or listening ordiscussing.
It has nothing to do withpositive thinking.
It has nothing to do withtelling yourself everything is
(19:54):
fine over and over and over.
That's never going to work.
This is about having theseactual experiences that teach
your brain, through practice andrepetition, that you actually
can handle the things that youhave been hellbent to avoid for
maybe a very long time, which isreally difficult.
I get it.
So, before we wrap up, I wantto be clear about something, and
(20:15):
I want to go back to this againbecause I think it's so
important.
More and more and more I see,especially as the audience grows
, people that feel a little bitannoyed because they feel like
I'm trying to just, oh, just dothis, just do this.
It's not just.
None of this is just.
This is not easy, it's notcomfortable, it's not a quick
fix, but my theoreticalorientation toward anxiety
(20:37):
disorders, which is based onjust decades of data and a
mountain of evidence we have alot of data that tells us this
is it.
This is kind of the way forward, right, it is the path to
recovery, not because it makesanxiety go away forever.
Remember, that's not possible.
There's no delete button inyour brain, in your nervous
system, but because it teachesyou that you can live your life
even when anxiety is present.
(20:58):
I can have options.
There are other alternativesother than declaring failure,
running, getting my safe person,looking for help, restricting
my life.
There are other options.
I can learn that throughexperience, taking risks and
learning that I'm more capablethan I've ever given myself
credit for.
That's really what rewiring ananxious brain means.
(21:19):
It's not about learning to staycalm all the time.
It's not about managing yoursymptoms.
It's not about biohacking.
It's not about regulating yournervous system.
It's not about managing yoursymptoms.
It's not about biohacking.
It's not about regulating yournervous system.
It's not about preventing panicattacks or disturbing thoughts.
It's all about building thosenew pathways that give you
options and alternatives whenyour anxiety shows up.
It gives you your choice back.
It helps you recognize that youdo have choice and then
(21:42):
exercise that choice.
It's about learning experiencethat you can handle the very
things you've been trying so, sohard to avoid.
So there you go.
That is episode 307 of theanxious truth in the books.
I'm not going to do the musicthing because I'm frankly tired
of editing that, so I will justsay if you found this video or
this podcast episode helpful.
If you're on YouTube, pleaseconsider liking the video and
(22:04):
maybe subscribe to the channel.
If you're watching on YouTube,drop a comment below.
If you have questions.
I do my best to respond when Ican, even though lately I've
been very pressed for time to dothat, but I promise I'll get
back in as soon as I can.
If you're listening as a podcastepisode and you're on Apple
Podcasts or Spotify or someplatform that lets you rate or
review this and you dig it,maybe leave a five-star rating
(22:28):
or even write a short reviewthat tells the world why you dig
it and it helps more peoplefind the podcast, then it helps
more people access thisinformation if they need it, and
that's kind of why I do this tobegin with.
So I appreciate you guyshanging out with me every other
week Actually, that's what I dothis now and supporting this
thing that I do and those of youwho listen to Disordered, which
is the podcast I do with JoshFletcher every week.
Thank you for that as well.
You find that at disorderedfm.
(22:49):
And just a quick reminder everysingle time you choose to handle
anxiety differently, respond toit differently, act differently
and against that survivalinstinct, taking that risk.
Every time you do that, even insmall, the tiniest ways, you're
actually helping to build thosenew pathways.
That is the business ofrewiring.
Though it may take a lot ofsmall steps and take a long time
(23:11):
, be patient, keep at it and seeyou in two weeks.
Take care, we'll see you nexttime.
If you're constantly afraid of your next panic attack
, or you've been googling waysto stop disturbing thoughts, or
if you're tired of living infear of your own anxiety
symptoms.
This is going to challenge whatyou think you might know about
rewiring an anxious brain.
Your attempts to rewire yourbrain might actually be keeping
you stuck, and here's why.
Here's why, hey everybody,welcome back to the Anxious
(00:29):
Truth.
This is the podcast and YouTubechannel where we talk about all
things anxiety, anxietydisorders and anxiety recovery.
I'm Drew Linsalata, creator andhost of this channel, therapist
practicing under supervision,specializing in anxiety
disorders, author, an educatorand an advocate on this topic
and, yes, unfortunately a formeranxiety sufferer myself for
(00:49):
many, many years, but doing muchbetter now.
Today we need to talk aboutsomething that's everywhere in
anxiety recovery circles rightnow this idea of rewiring an
anxious brain, and if you'rewatching this, you've probably
seen countless videos andarticles that promise to sort of
teach you how to rewire yourbrain and to stop being anxious,
to finally be free of panicattack, to make those terrifying
(01:11):
thoughts go away, and I kind ofget it.
Who wouldn't want that?
I mean, who wouldn't want tojust rewire their brain and make
all this stuff just disappear.
But here's the thing Almosteverything you've been told
about rewiring an anxious brainis mostly wrong, not just
slightly wrong, butfundamentally backwards.
And if you're trying to rewireyour brain the wrong way, you
(01:34):
might actually be reinforcingthe very patterns that you're
trying to break.
So let's start the discussionwith a little something that
might blow your mind.
Your brain doesn't have adelete button.
That's right.
It doesn't have a delete button.
You can't erase pathways orsort of remove information
that's already there.
(01:54):
This is why, if you're tryingto delete your anxious response
or erase your fear, it neveractually works, because the
brain simply doesn't work thatway.
So think about that for asecond.
So many videos or articles orprograms promise to help you
eliminate anxiety, but that'sfighting against basic brain
(02:16):
function.
Your brain is designed to learnand add information, not to
delete information.
Now, this is actually good news, even though it might not feel
that way right now.
So sort of, stick with me andwe're going to walk through it.
The first thing to remember isthat your anxious brain isn't
broken or damaged, which issomething that anxious people
(02:37):
often think, and that's notcorrect.
It's actually just doingexactly what it's supposed to do
.
It's trying to keep you safe.
We talk about this stuff allthe time.
The problem is that it'sworking too hard at that job.
It's getting a little bitoverzealous and overprotective.
It's like having a helicopterparent that won't let you do
anything because everythingmight be dangerous, and I think
(02:57):
we can all sort of relate tothat example.
So think about what happens whenyou feel, for instance, your
heart starts to race.
If your anxiety presentationsort of includes that Right now,
if your heart starts to speedup and pound, your brain
probably has one primary pathwaythat represents a response and
that would be racing heart meanspanic attack and panic attack
(03:19):
means danger must prevent panicattack at all costs.
Or maybe when you get that sortof floaty, disconnected, dpdr
feeling that's depersonalizationand derealization your brain
immediately goes to this meansI'm losing control or I'm losing
my sanity or I'm slipping away.
So I must make this stop rightnow.
And for those dealing withmaybe disturbing or intrusive
(03:40):
thoughts, maybe your brain'sonly pathway for response is
these thoughts mean somethingterrible about me.
I have to stop them and makethem go away or definitely prove
them to be inaccurate.
But before we dive deeper intothis rewiring process of what it
actually looks like, I kind ofwant to just remind you that the
Anxious Truth is more than justthis podcast episode or this
(04:03):
YouTube video.
If you head on over totheanxious truthcom, you'll find
the other 300 and somewhat freepodcast episodes and videos
just like this one.
They all provide a little bitmore detailed information on the
many aspects of anxietydisorders and recovery.
You'll find the books that I'vewritten that also break down
these concepts in greater detail, and there's a bunch of very
low cost, accessible workshopsthat focus on specific
(04:25):
challenges like panic attacks oragoraphobia.
We have one on worry slashrumination, which is a big
problem in our community.
Plus, you'll find the links toall of my socials, so feel free
to follow along on the platformof your choice.
I'm kind of on all of them.
Check it all out.
Most of it is free.
Otherwise it's very low costand it's all at
theanxioustruthcom, so availyourself of all the goodies when
(04:50):
you get a chance.
So let's talk for a minute aboutwhat rewiring your anxious
brain actually does mean.
And since we can't delete stufffrom our brains remember
there's no delete button whatwe're really doing is adding new
information and creating newpathways.
Remember, our brains aredesigned to add and learn, not
delete.
So one way you might considerthinking of this is like adding
new roads to a city.
(05:11):
We're not demolishing the oldroads.
While we do that, we'rebuilding new ones that give us
more choices and options forgetting where we want to go.
And this is all aboutdeveloping choices and options,
because that's part ofpsychological flexibility, which
you've heard me talk aboutbefore.
But this is where we need totalk about something that might
sound simple but is actuallyquite profound and often very
(05:34):
difficult for people to put intopractice.
Recovery isn't just aboutbuilding new neural pathways.
It's also about developing sortof a fundamentally different
attitude toward anxiety andreally toward discomfort in
general.
Instead of seeing your anxietyas an enemy that has to be
vanquished or prevented, westart to develop an attitude of
(05:55):
openness and willingness towardit, and you've heard me and Josh
Fletcher, my partner onDisorder, talk about willful
tolerance.
Now, as far as developing anattitude of openness and
willingness toward your anxietyif you're new around here,
admittedly, I understand thatmight sound a little bit
ridiculous, but it is part ofthe rewiring and the building of
new pathways.
So you might be thinking rightnow like willing to experience
(06:19):
anxiety or being open to panicattacks.
That sounds patently absurd andyou're right, it does sound
backwards.
There's so much paradox in thisthing that we do together.
It does go against, likesurvival instinct and everything
that that is telling you to do.
It contradicts years or maybeeven decades of learned
responses and beliefs aboutanxiety and about discomfort,
(06:39):
and it certainly goes against awhole lot of the popular sort of
anxiety management advice andinformation you're going to hear
online, especially in 2024.
So let's just take a look atsome real examples because it
might help you relate a littlebit.
Let's say you're somebody whopanics when you feel dizzy or
lightheaded, which is a lot oflisteners at the Anxious Truth
(07:00):
Right now.
You probably immediately try tosit down or you grab onto
something or you rush home, andanybody who's got an anxiety
disorder that leans like hotdeath on the shopping cart as
they force themselves throughthe supermarket understands what
I'm talking about.
The new pathway that we'rebuilding might say well, this is
an uncomfortable experience,but I felt it before and I've
(07:22):
always gotten through it.
I can keep going.
Even while I feel this way.
Maybe I don't have to lean onthe shopping cart, grab the wall
or go home.
Now for those of you say withhealth anxiety, maybe every like
weird feeling in your heart,every palpitation or skip beat,
sends you straight to checkingyour pulse or Googling your
symptoms.
Now remember, we can't deletethat pathway.
(07:44):
It's there because your brainis trying to keep you safe.
It's just sort of lost its wayin that task.
But we can build a new pathwaythat says my heart does weird
things sometimes, that I'manxious, because that's what
anxious hearts do.
I've had this checked out.
I've been told it's okay, I canhandle this sensation.
And to maybe bring an exampleinto sort of the intrusive
(08:04):
thoughts or OCD world maybeyou're having thoughts about
harm or relationship thoughts orwhatever flavor your OCD might
take Right now.
Your only pathway might be Ineed to know for sure about this
.
I have to figure this out.
I have to make these thoughtsstop.
I have to make them from coming, prevent them from coming true.
The new pathway that we'rebuilding that lives alongside
(08:27):
the old pathway says well, thesethoughts make me feel really
awful, because they do, but Ican let them be there without
engaging with them.
So you notice that in each oneof these examples we wind up
with alternate options andchoices for how you respond when
you find yourself in atriggered state Right now, you
may only see one possibleresponse, and that, generally
(08:50):
speaking, is avoidance orrunning, or preventing or
resistance.
Rewiring an anxious mind doesleave that option intact,
because, again, we cannot deletethat, but it helps us see that
it was never the only choice.
The rewiring process will showus that we actually do have
power and agency, and we do havea say in what happens after the
(09:10):
initial sort of OMG, oh my God,moment when we're triggered.
So this, though, is where theprinciples might be
generalizable, but theapplication gets really personal
and unique for each person thatstruggles with anxiety, and we
got to talk about this becausewe never want to make it seem
like one size fits all.
It does, but the way you getinto that one size is going to
(09:33):
vary widely depending on yourspecific circumstances.
I mean, maybe you've beendealing with panic attacks for
20 years, or maybe you developedhealth anxiety after a genuine
medical scare or some medicalmalpractice.
That happens.
You could be struggling withdisturbing thoughts that feel
completely at odds and againstwho you really are as a person
and that terrifies you.
(09:53):
I mean, add that to your ownlived experiences, your own
beliefs, your own fears and yourown obstacles, this process can
get really complicated anddifficult.
That's why, while it soundslike we're always saying just do
it or just face your fears,simplifying it to that level
isn't necessarily helpful,because this isn't just about
(10:13):
knowing something intellectuallywe can talk about like the
science of neural pathways allwe want.
We can talk about this untilwe're blue in the face.
But it's not about just talkingand listening and learning and
understanding from anintellectual standpoint.
It's about being willing tochallenge sometimes some very
deeply held beliefs and sort oflongstanding patterns that feel
(10:36):
like they're keeping you safe.
You really think that this isthe right way to be.
That one option, the onlypathway that your brain has
right now, which is run, fight,resist, stay safe really feels
correct to you.
So if you're going to challengethat and open yourself up to
other options to build those newpathways and do that rewiring
air quotes it's often going tofeel very wrong or risky or
(10:58):
dangerous or even reckless.
So when people in my socialmedia comments section say
things like easier said thandone this is why they say that
and, to be completely honestwith you, they are right.
If you've ever looked at someof this content that I produce
and said well, sure, make itsound easy.
I do make it sound easy, but Iknow that it is not right, so we
always try and acknowledge thataround here we have to.
(11:19):
So to move on, I want to get alittle bit more practical and
maybe personal about therewiring process.
Building new pathways isn'tabout positive thinking or
telling yourself everything isfine.
It's about actual experiences.
Your brain is not going torewire itself simply because you
(11:39):
tell it to.
It rewires itself when you showit something new through
experience.
That's a raw deal, because thatmeans that you have to take
what feels like a risk to dodifferent things in order to
have different experiences, inorder to feed those to your
brain, in order to give yourselfnew options, write new pathways
(12:02):
and rewire right.
So that's the process.
This goes on.
We can't just tell our brainsto rewire, no matter how much we
read, listen to or watch videos.
We have to actually haveexperiences, and this is where
it gets so sticky.
As I was saying before, thedegree of difficulty in that
process of having newexperiences varies enormously
(12:22):
from person to person.
You know, maybe you're a personwho's lived through some trauma
or some really challengingevents in your past.
Or maybe for you, being willingto feel out of control, willing
to do that, opening up yourpossibilities might feel out of
the question right now, andunderstandably out of the
question right now andunderstandably If you've had
(12:43):
actual health scares, maybebeing willing to experience
physical symptoms withoutseeking reassurance and safety
might feel completelyirresponsible.
Or, like if you're a parent,for instance, with intrusive
thoughts about harm, beingwilling to let those thoughts be
there might feel absolutelyunthinkable.
That's okay.
Like listening to my wordstoday might resonate at some
level, but actually putting theminto practice might take some
(13:04):
time, and I say this all thetime you get there, when you get
there for your own reasons.
Be patient with yourself andrecognize the factors that might
be unique obstacles in yoursort of brain rewiring quest or
journey.
I hate the word journey, but Ijust used it anyway.
That sucks.
(13:26):
Anyway, what we're reallytalking about here is opening
ourselves up to a learningapproach to anxiety.
So, instead of seeing eachanxious moment as a threat to be
eliminated which we now knowisn't even possible on a
consistent level we're trying tosee it as an opportunity to
learn something new aboutourselves and our sense of
self-efficacy and our strengthsand our capabilities and what we
can really do if we're pressedto do it, and then what we can
(13:48):
learn from that.
So, when you feel that wave ofpanic coming on, instead of
immediately fighting it, youmight wind up asking what can I
learn if I let this be here?
When those disturbing thoughtsshow up, instead of instantly
trying to solve them?
You might wonder to yourselfwell, what happens if I didn't
engage with these, even though Ican clearly hear them?
What happens if I don't answerthem or have a conversation with
(14:10):
them?
But here's the part that willstart to trip people up, and I
almost feel like I need to saythis twice, but I will spare you
that repetition.
When you're building these newpathways, like I said before,
the old ones do not disappear.
You're not going to stop havinganxious responses or scary
(14:30):
thoughts.
The goal is never to not feelanxiety again.
The goal here in the rewiringis to build new pathways that
give you options and choiceswhen anxiety shows up.
But the old pathways are stillthere.
That's true, and this is whypeople often get really
frustrated in recovery.
They will say things like I'mdoing everything right, but I
(14:52):
still get those weird breathingsensations, for instance, or I'm
having those terrible thoughtsor my heart still races whenever
I even think about getting inthe car and driving away from my
house, which might be my safeplace Then they see that as a
failure because they'reexpecting the rewiring process
to happen, almost because theyjust wanted to before having
experiences, and they're hopingthat the rewiring process will
(15:15):
eliminate those responses, orthat resistant response or that
anxious response or that fightor flight response.
That's not the way this worksright and that's not failure.
If you feel the fear or youhave doubt, or you have the
thoughts or you have thesymptoms, it's simply not.
Having those things and workingthrough them is part of the
(15:36):
rewiring process.
If we're talking about rewiringan anxious brain, we cannot
rewire an anxious brain unlesswe are in the anxious state.
There's just that part of thedeal.
We have to activate the anxiety, to feed new information into
that model, and that's where therewiring comes from building
those new pathways.
So remember we started with theidea that there's no delete
(15:58):
button in your brain.
Those sensations and thoughtswill still show up.
But when we do rewire and buildnew pathways which really what
we're doing is not necessarilyrewiring but adding wiring.
Maybe that's a better way tosay it where we're adding more
wiring, more circuits.
When we add those new pathways,when those scary things show up
(16:19):
, you have different options forhow to respond when they do,
and that makes a big difference,because having options and how
we respond is the thing thatfrees us from the restrictions
or the conditions or the I can't, or I can only if I have my
safe person or whatever ithappens to be.
But the reality is that recoveryoften looks like being more
(16:42):
anxious in the short term.
This is true, again, if we canonly rewire by activating the
anxiety.
If we have to activate the fear, to write new information into
that model and build newpathways and add that extra
wiring, then you're doing theopposite of what your brain has
been telling you to do.
In the short term, you'rechoosing to not run away from a
(17:04):
racing heart, for instance.
You're choosing not to try tofrantically and urgently solve
your disturbing or intrusivethoughts.
You're choosing to let thatdizzy feeling be there while you
continue your day, which is noteasy.
And that's where courage comesin.
So this isn't like movieHollywood kind of courage where
you're just fearless andcompetent, looks like nothing
(17:25):
bothers you.
This is like the real kind oflike actual, daily, real person
coverage, where you are scaredand unsure and uncertain and not
quite convinced that you shouldbe doing this, but you're
willing to try it anyway, you'rewilling to learn.
Maybe you're willing to besurprised about what you might
discover about yourself Because,remember, in the context we're
(17:46):
in right now, even though thethoughts trigger feelings about
being in danger, even thougheverything feels very scary,
even though it feels likesomething as bad as going to
happen in our context disorderedanxiety we feel afraid, but we
are still safe.
You have to live there.
You got to start there first.
So remember, there's norewiring to be done, no new
(18:07):
pathways, no new options to openup.
If you stop at what it feelslike Correct, it does feel
unsafe, but it is not.
That is a core component ofeverything we talk about here.
So keep that in mind as we go,and I think the key here is sort
of finding your starting point,wherever that might be.
You start where you are right,being willing to learn from that
(18:28):
experience, wherever it is atthe moment.
So maybe you're just not readyto have a full-blown panic
attack without fighting it.
Many people listening to thisare at that point.
I'm just not ready to do that,drew, and guess what?
That's okay.
Maybe you could start bywilling to feel slightly
elevated anxiety for a fewminutes without running or
fighting it.
Or maybe you're not ready tocompletely ignore your
(18:49):
disturbing thoughts.
I get it Feels wrong to do that, feels too dangerous, that's
fine.
Perhaps you can sort ofpractice letting just one
thought pass by without engagingwith it, test it, experiment.
We talked a couple episodes agoabout the use of micro exposures
.
That counts too.
That's an opportunity to startto do little experiments and
test things out without goingall the way in and diving
(19:13):
completely off the cliff.
To start to open yourself up tothe possibility that like, oh,
if I do have these otherexperiences, I do wind up okay,
so I can start having tryingthese new things, trying
different options, behavingdifferently, feed new
information into the model,build new pathways on top of the
old ones or next to the oldones, add more wiring and rewire
(19:33):
, if you will.
Rewire is probably the wrongword.
Now that I think about it.
Anyway, what do I want to talkabout?
Let's talk about again.
This is not about just thinkingyour way into new beliefs or new
pathways or rewiring or addingwiring just by talking or
thinking or listening ordiscussing.
It has nothing to do withpositive thinking.
It has nothing to do withtelling yourself everything is
(19:54):
fine over and over and over.
That's never going to work.
This is about having theseactual experiences that teach
your brain, through practice andrepetition, that you actually
can handle the things that youhave been hellbent to avoid for
maybe a very long time, which isreally difficult.
I get it.
So, before we wrap up, I wantto be clear about something, and
(20:15):
I want to go back to this againbecause I think it's so
important.
More and more and more I see,especially as the audience grows
, people that feel a little bitannoyed because they feel like
I'm trying to just, oh, just dothis, just do this.
It's not just.
None of this is just.
This is not easy, it's notcomfortable, it's not a quick
fix, but my theoreticalorientation toward anxiety
(20:37):
disorders, which is based onjust decades of data and a
mountain of evidence we have alot of data that tells us this
is it.
This is kind of the way forward, right, it is the path to
recovery, not because it makesanxiety go away forever.
Remember, that's not possible.
There's no delete button inyour brain, in your nervous
system, but because it teachesyou that you can live your life
even when anxiety is present.
(20:58):
I can have options.
There are other alternativesother than declaring failure,
running, getting my safe person,looking for help, restricting
my life.
There are other options.
I can learn that throughexperience, taking risks and
learning that I'm more capablethan I've ever given myself
credit for.
That's really what rewiring ananxious brain means.
(21:19):
It's not about learning to staycalm all the time.
It's not about managing yoursymptoms.
It's not about biohacking.
It's not about regulating yournervous system.
It's not about managing yoursymptoms.
It's not about biohacking.
It's not about regulating yournervous system.
It's not about preventing panicattacks or disturbing thoughts.
It's all about building thosenew pathways that give you
options and alternatives whenyour anxiety shows up.
It gives you your choice back.
It helps you recognize that youdo have choice and then
(21:42):
exercise that choice.
It's about learning experiencethat you can handle the very
things you've been trying so, sohard to avoid.
So there you go.
That is episode 307 of theanxious truth in the books.
I'm not going to do the musicthing because I'm frankly tired
of editing that, so I will justsay if you found this video or
this podcast episode helpful.
If you're on YouTube, pleaseconsider liking the video and
(22:04):
maybe subscribe to the channel.
If you're watching on YouTube,drop a comment below.
If you have questions.
I do my best to respond when Ican, even though lately I've
been very pressed for time to dothat, but I promise I'll get
back in as soon as I can.
If you're listening as a podcastepisode and you're on Apple
Podcasts or Spotify or someplatform that lets you rate or
review this and you dig it,maybe leave a five-star rating
(22:28):
or even write a short reviewthat tells the world why you dig
it and it helps more peoplefind the podcast, then it helps
more people access thisinformation if they need it, and
that's kind of why I do this tobegin with.
So I appreciate you guyshanging out with me every other
week Actually, that's what I dothis now and supporting this
thing that I do and those of youwho listen to Disordered, which
is the podcast I do with JoshFletcher every week.
Thank you for that as well.
You find that at disorderedfm.
(22:49):
And just a quick reminder everysingle time you choose to handle
anxiety differently, respond toit differently, act differently
and against that survivalinstinct, taking that risk.
Every time you do that, even insmall, the tiniest ways, you're
actually helping to build thosenew pathways.
That is the business ofrewiring.
Though it may take a lot ofsmall steps and take a long time
(23:11):
, be patient, keep at it and seeyou in two weeks.
Take care, we'll see you nexttime.
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