The Beaverton Weekly Report

"The best way to fight fascism is with money, everyone knows that." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Brandon Hackett) talk about Jimmy Kimmel's absurd suspension, wonder how anyone could be mad at Canada recognizing the State of Palestine and are shocked (SHOCKED WE SAY) by a Liberal Minister's admission that the Party does somethings just to help with their electoral chances in Quebec. Then the App...

We're back baby! And so is Parliament but who cares about that. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin) talk about Poilievre v. Carney Round 2, the Right's attempt to punish anyone who acknowledges Charlie Kirk was not a saint, and what demands we would have made to MLSE in 2019 if we were Kawhi Leonard. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst scenario to get caught using AI. 

If you'...

Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) detail what Trump's EU deal means for Canada, break down the bombshell news that Canada is still sending arms to Israel and discuss why it doesn't feel like housing is getting any cheaper even as prices fall. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst place you can inject yourself with Botox. 

If you'd like an extended cut version that dives int...

"Break out the Caesars Carney!" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Craig Fay) talk the government's attempt to consult with Indigenous Peoples about Bill C-5 after the fact, wonder what a trade deal with Trump would even look like at this point, and break down just how pathetically weak Canada's latest statement on Gaza is. Then The Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals the most direct way to stop your son from eloping with ...

"In Alberta, your future lies." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) speculate about what strategies Poilievre can use to win his by-election, break down Danielle Smith's over the top list of demands for constitutional amendments, and delight in the Maga world's meltdown over Trump's refusal to release the Epstein list. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz finds a new, ornothological way to win...

"Slash and burn, Carney style!" Luke and the Panel (Nile Séguin and Clare Blackwood) break down Mark Carney enacting spending cuts that even Harper wouldn't dream of, and then dive into the biggest sports stories going on in the world: The Blue Jays are soaring, Rogers is screwing over the Raptors, and the Mitch Marner saga makes us wonder how hockey players can be the toughest athletes in sports if they're afraid to answer media q...

Canada turns 158! Ian and the Panel (Nile Séguin, plus special guests Andrew Ivimey and Diana McCallum) discuss how that “elbows up” thing is working for Mark Carney, some of our favourite things about this country, and invent a new Canadian accent. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals who or what the Baronet of Nova Scotia is.

If you would like an extended cut version of this episode that ...

Israel and Iran may not "know what the fuck they're doing", but is it possible Trump does? Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then getting a ceasefire 48 hours later, debate whether this is the one in a million ceasefire that Israel won't break, and break down the dangers of the recently passed Bill C-5. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz finds the sexiest wa...

Party at Carney's house! Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Andrew Ivimey) discuss how the G7 definitely still exists, why Canada's No Kings protest would need an asterisk*, and Netenyahu and Trump's tag team against Tehran. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers who the most embarrassing Canadian of the week was (for once, it's not Drake!) 

If you would like an extended cut version of ...

Check your mailbox right now! Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning to page 1 in the dictator playbook, Mark Carney's popularity with Conservatives and international human rights abusers, and the weak sanctions imposed on two Israeli far-right Ministers. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the grossest way you can put money in Sydney...

The vibes are high at the First Ministers Meeting. Maybe a little... too high? Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the "best first ministers meeting in 10 years" according to a premier who has been in power for 7, examine Danielle Smith's unrelenting popularity in Alberta, and break down the disturbing implications of the Strong Borders Bill. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers ...

"There shall be HST discounts for your Plebs who didn't inherit castles at birth!" Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) dive into the Throne Speech, including the absurdity of hearing a hereditary monarch talk about saving famillies 840 dollars a year, the confusion over Justin Trudeau's footwear and the delight of hearing the words Pierre Poilievre and "visitor's pass". Then the Approximately 10 Minu...

"This is the letter that finally stops the slaughter, we're pretty sure." Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin and Clare Blackwood) talk about the Conservatives' attempts to shore up support for Poilievre as leader, speculate on what the "concrete steps" Canada will take if Israel does not listen to its letter, and break down the media's attempt to gaslight Canadians over what is happening in Gaza. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long ...

Prime Minister Carney announces his brand new cabinet of Trudeau-era ministers! Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Séguin, and special guest Kat Angus) discuss who’s in, who’s out, and who’s making roast-style jokes! Plus the Woke Pope, and Trump’s Sky Palace. After all that, the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz gets to the bottom of Hamilton’s French equivalent.

If you'd like...

Mr. Carney goes to Washington, and immediately regrets winning the election. Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Aaron Hagey-MacKay) discuss Carney’s first face-to-orange-face with Donald Trump, pitches for non-tariffed Canadian Hallmark movies, Western Separatism as understood by 4 Toronto-based comedians, and why Danielle Smith is like that. After all that, the Ap...

It's our regularly scheduled election special. Brought to you by Henderson's Trail Mix. Henderson's Trail Mix: less candy, more trail! Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Megan MacKay) recap the highlights of election night, discuss the Liberals simultaneously over and underperforming with a Minority Government, and try to talk about Pierre Poilievre losing his seat without laughing too hard. Spoiler alert: we failed. 

If you'd l...