The Beaverton Weekly Report
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles an all-star Panel of comedians to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts their knowledge of the news to the test in a very important quiz where the stakes couldn't be lower. The Beaverton Weekly Report is a hilarious look at what's going on in the world around us. It's just like watching CNN, only funnier and with fewer erectile dysfunction ads.
Episodes
Canada turns 158! Ian and the Panel (Nile Séguin, plus special guests Andrew Ivimey and Diana McCallum) discuss how that “elbows up” thing is working for Mark Carney, some of our favourite things about this country, and invent a new Canadian accent. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals who or what the Baronet of Nova Scotia is.
If you would like an extended cut version of this episode that ...
Israel and Iran may not "know what the fuck they're doing", but is it possible Trump does? Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then getting a ceasefire 48 hours later, debate whether this is the one in a million ceasefire that Israel won't break, and break down the dangers of the recently passed Bill C-5. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz finds the sexiest wa...
Party at Carney's house! Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Andrew Ivimey) discuss how the G7 definitely still exists, why Canada's No Kings protest would need an asterisk*, and Netenyahu and Trump's tag team against Tehran. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers who the most embarrassing Canadian of the week was (for once, it's not Drake!)
Check your mailbox right now! Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning to page 1 in the dictator playbook, Mark Carney's popularity with Conservatives and international human rights abusers, and the weak sanctions imposed on two Israeli far-right Ministers. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the grossest way you can put money in Sydney...
The vibes are high at the First Ministers Meeting. Maybe a little... too high? Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the "best first ministers meeting in 10 years" according to a premier who has been in power for 7, examine Danielle Smith's unrelenting popularity in Alberta, and break down the disturbing implications of the Strong Borders Bill. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers ...
"There shall be HST discounts for your Plebs who didn't inherit castles at birth!" Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) dive into the Throne Speech, including the absurdity of hearing a hereditary monarch talk about saving famillies 840 dollars a year, the confusion over Justin Trudeau's footwear and the delight of hearing the words Pierre Poilievre and "visitor's pass". Then the Approximately 10 Minu...
"This is the letter that finally stops the slaughter, we're pretty sure." Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin and Clare Blackwood) talk about the Conservatives' attempts to shore up support for Poilievre as leader, speculate on what the "concrete steps" Canada will take if Israel does not listen to its letter, and break down the media's attempt to gaslight Canadians over what is happening in Gaza. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long ...
Prime Minister Carney announces his brand new cabinet of Trudeau-era ministers! Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Séguin, and special guest Kat Angus) discuss who’s in, who’s out, and who’s making roast-style jokes! Plus the Woke Pope, and Trump’s Sky Palace. After all that, the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz gets to the bottom of Hamilton’s French equivalent.
Mr. Carney goes to Washington, and immediately regrets winning the election. Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and special guest Aaron Hagey-MacKay) discuss Carney’s first face-to-orange-face with Donald Trump, pitches for non-tariffed Canadian Hallmark movies, Western Separatism as understood by 4 Toronto-based comedians, and why Danielle Smith is like that. After all that, the Ap...
It's our regularly scheduled election special. Brought to you by Henderson's Trail Mix. Henderson's Trail Mix: less candy, more trail! Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Megan MacKay) recap the highlights of election night, discuss the Liberals simultaneously over and underperforming with a Minority Government, and try to talk about Pierre Poilievre losing his seat without laughing too hard. Spoiler alert: we failed.
This is what happens when you invite Rebel News places. Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Diana McCallum) talk about the most Canadian reason to re-schedule a debate, right-wing influencers being terrified of pencils and how to get a burner phone if ...
Every time we treat Canadian politics just as seriously as U.S. news, a news story comes along that reminds us we're basically a small town about to elect a dog as mayor. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Nile Seguin and Jocelyn Geddie) talk about Buttongate, the state of the race heading into the Debates, and why the Notwithstanding Clause is the Pringles of...
Savvy business genius tanks the world's economy, news at 11. Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay and Andrew Ivimey) talk about Trump's plan to destroy the stock market in order to bring manufacturing jobs back to America (where American robots will do them), brainstorm some ideas for Canada's Conservatives to turn this election around, and wonder why Mark Carney is even bothering to campaign at this point. Then the Ap...
Donald Trump's Liberation Day Tariffs are here, and this time he won't back down for at least two days! Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) talk about the Conservatives' lack of election strategy, Pierre Poilievre's not at all creepy biological clock comments and how Canada's retaliatory tariffs are getting real weird, real fast. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst way to ...
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Welcome (back) to The Beaverton Weekly Report, a satirical panel show where Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembes Canada's funniest comedians to riff on the news of the week. From the silly to the serious, the tragic to the tumultuous, we'll be there to make fun of it all. But don't worry. We don't want to be too much of a bummer, so we promise to talk about New Brunswick as little as possible.
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Luke and the Panel (Andrew Ivimey, Jon Blair, Todd Van Allen) talk about people getting screwed over! Specifically the people of Oshawa getting screwed over by GM (1:00), Paul Manafort maybe getting screwed over by Julian Assange by way of Robert Mueller (18:30) and refugees/human rights/Mexican sovereignty getting screwed over by the Trump admin (32:00).
Luke and the Panel (Michael Balazo, Kristy LaPointe and Ian MacIntyre) try not to get overwhelmed by how much news there is. They start by recapping the midterm elections and CNN's coverage (1:45), then move on to Trump firing everyone's favourite racist elf in Jeff Sessions (32:00) and Tony Clement's Unsexy Sexy Scandal (39:30). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz discovers the best get rich quick scheme of all time.
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