August 28, 2024 • 24 mins
In this episode, host Shawn Ellis explores the theme 'Community Is Your Competitive Advantage.' He reflects on personal experiences, including his marriage, book release, and speaking at Toastmasters' 100th Annual Convention, to demonstrate the critical role community plays in achieving success and well-being. As an introvert, Shawn shares insights on the importance of building and maintaining a supportive network to navigate life's challenges and thrive. Practical steps are offered to help listeners assess and strengthen their own communities, emphasizing that true personal and professional growth is often fueled by our connections with others.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:14 The Power of Community
02:01 Personal Stories of Community Support
05:18 The Importance of Community in Achievements
08:57 Practical Steps to Build Your Community
15:18 The Role of Community in Personal and Professional Growth
20:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
23:18 Conclusion and Future Episodes
Additional Resources:
- Get Shawn's new book Mastering the Moments: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DBGJM6ZX
- Enroll in Shawn's "Rock the Reboot" online course: https://courses.shawnellis.com/courses/rock-the-reboot
- Book Shawn to speak at your event: https://www.shawnellis.com
- Find additional speakers at: https://www.thespeakersgroup.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my friend, and welcome to TheBetter Life Better Business Podcast.
(00:04):
I'm your host, Shawn Ellis, and thisis episode number 32, titled "Community
Is Your Competitive Advantage."
Now I almost titled this episode "OneWeek in August" and I'll explain why
in a moment, but first, before wedive in, I want you to think about a
time when you felt truly supported.
(00:26):
When you knew that without adoubt, someone had your back.
Can you think of a time like that?
Can you remember that feeling?
Because that's whatcommunity is all about.
And today I'm going to show you howthat feeling isn't just comforting,
but I believe it's truly yourgreatest edge in life and business.
(00:48):
And I'm saying this as an introvert.
So it's taken me a while tocome around to this idea.
But hopefully by the end of theepisode, you'll be able to entertain
this possibility and perhaps be ableto believe it and use it to make the
next chapter of your life work businessbetter then you could have imagined.
(01:14):
Let me say this, though,before we go too far.
When I say competitive advantage, I'mnot just speaking to business leaders
or entrepreneurs here, although I knowthat when you hear competitive advantage,
you might think of marketing or sales.
And while certainly it applies there,this idea really applies to everyone.
It doesn't matter where you arein life or what role you play.
(01:34):
And if competitive advantage isn't aphrase that you use regularly, maybe
think of it as your personal edge.
That unique strength orquality that sets you apart.
And helps you achieve your goals,whether personally or professionally.
And what I want to share today is thatcommunity is your competitive advantage.
(01:55):
And it's something I'vebeen reflecting on a lot.
Particularly after thatone week in August.
The last episode I did wastitled, "She Said Yes!!!"
and I introduced you to, myfiance, Megan, after, she had
accepted my proposal for marriage.
And, and then I kind of went silentand that wasn't really intentional.
(02:17):
Just there's been a lot going on.
Leading up to that one week in August.
And, now I'm happy to say that Meganis my wife, because we got married.
And then a few days after that Ireleased my first book, Mastering
the Moments (02:33):
A Journey of Endings, Beginnings, and the Space in Between.
And then on the very next day, Ispoke to over six thousand people
at the Toastmasters 100th AnnualConvention, which was truly an
honor and an absolute joy after25 years in the speaking business.
it was, it was just a real treat tobe able to speak to that audience
(02:55):
for that organization, which is justbeen a mainstay in the speaking or
communication space, but all thathappened in the course of one week.
And on one hand, I could talk about justhow amazing all those things were, but
I'm not sharing that just to tell youabout the happenings or the achievements.
(03:19):
But the truth is that none ofthose events would have happened
without the power of community.
Because if you follow me on socialmedia, you've seen the pictures.
I posted a picture from ourwedding day and we're holding
a sign that says Best Day Ever.
You've seen the book cover leading up tothe book release, you've maybe seen some
(03:41):
pictures from the Toastmasters event.
Those are the highlights.
That's what social media is, right?
But what you don't see there iswhat went on behind the scenes to
make all of those events possible.
And, like we can takelet's just go one by one.
We'll take the wedding.
That week leading up to, to usgetting married, which was, it
(04:02):
was tough for us to fit in our.
Our lives were so crazy betweenstuff with our three kids and
work and all these things.
We decided to do a courthouse wedding,which is the way my grandparents got
married way, way back a long time ago.
And, we just decided that that would bethe best way for us to make it happen.
So we invited our parents and it wasa really special day, but leading up
(04:24):
to that week, We went in to get ourmarriage license and when we went in
there, having been divorced, I neededto provide my certified divorce decree
in order to get the marriage license.
Well, the problem with thatis I didn't have a copy of
my certified divorce decree.
So the whole wedding was in jeopardyif we couldn't figure that out.
(04:45):
So I reached out to my dear friend Joyback in Nashville, And I said, Hey, would
it be possible for you to go pick up acopy of this for me and then overnight it?
And when we spoke, she was doing, a girl'sday out and they totally changed their
plans, rerouted everything, to be ableto go get the copy of the divorce decree.
(05:06):
They overnighted it here.
And then on the morning of the daywe were going to get married, we
went in to get our marriage license.
And it all worked out and, and trulycommunity saved the day that day.
So that picture you see of "bestday ever" wouldn't have been
possible without community.
And then let's go to the bookrelease a few days later.
(05:28):
Well, one reason that that I've beenreally quiet, and no podcast episodes.
very little on social mediathese last few months, is because
I was working on that book.
I was under a deadline to finish thewriting, to get it edited, to get the
cover designed, you know, to get all thedetails in place for it to be published.
And if you pick up a copy of that book,you'll see that it's my name on the cover.
(05:52):
I'm the author of Mastering theMoments and that's an honor and an
achievement and I'm Proud and grateful.
But what it doesn't show thereis the community behind the
scenes that made that possible.
it's no coincidence that this book didn'tcome out before I met my wife, Megan.
(06:14):
I've been working on this book really,you know, going back 10 years to the
origin, but, over the last five really.
And I thought it would'vecome out long before now.
If you've written a book, youknow how much goes into it.
If you've attempted to write a book,you know, how much goes into it?
I've always had tremendous, admiration andrespect for anyone who published a book.
(06:36):
And now, after going throughthe process, I have even more
cause it's just, it's a project.
There's no other way to say it.
But that project wouldn't have happened.
I wouldn't have been able to get thatacross the finish line without Megan
taking care of all the responsibilitiesat home with our three kids and making
sure everything happened there so Icould be freed up to work on the book.
(06:57):
And then in my business, The SpeakersGroup, thanks to my team, Jan and
Dawn, they were able to keep all ofthat moving forward while most of my
attention was going toward the book.
So truly community made that possible.
And if you read the book by the way, thebook, while it's stories from my life,
really every one of those stories is whatI call an intersection with somebody else.
(07:22):
Whether somebody said something thatmade a difference in my life or an
interaction that led to a specialexperience, I dedicate the book to my son.
I call him my little guru and, cause I'velearned so many lessons thanks to him.
But that book is really, it's astory of all these intersections.
That book truly would notexist without community.
(07:44):
And then the Toastmasters event.
same thing.
While, you know, when there's aspeaker on stage one person has
the microphone and the spotlight.
But behind the scenes a lot has to happen.
First of all, everyone at Toastmasters,Diana and Renee, my main contacts
there, as we were putting it alltogether, they helped to get me
the information that I needed andhelped to coordinate everything.
(08:07):
Brandee helped with travel coordination.
So the whole team at Toastmasters,that's part of the community.
But the week before that event, apotential family crisis popped up.
And I won't go into the details here,but just to say, there were some real
questions about how I was going tobe able to pull this off and whether
I would have to adjust travel plans.
(08:27):
But, thanks to the community once again,in this case, being some professionals
that we had connected with and familymembers, I was able to hand that off
to others and trust that everything wasgoing to be taken care of so I could
focus on doing what I needed to do toshow up with peace of mind and clarity and
deliver the presentation at Toastmasters.
(08:50):
But I share all that tohighlight the power of community.
And in doing so I want to encourageyou to do a check on your own community
right now, personally and professionally.
And in this episode, I want tooffer you some practical ways to
(09:11):
harness the power of community.
To help you navigate the challengesyou may be facing right now, and
also to accelerate your success, tofind deeper meaning in your journey.
So my hope is that when you finishthis episode, you'll feel inspired
to either build or expand your owncommunity today because I truly believe
(09:31):
community is your competitive advantage.
And now if you've followed my work forany length of time, maybe you're familiar
with my five C's to Adapt and Thrive.
And the fifth C is Community.
And this absolutely ties back to that.
And as I said, as an introvert,community, it's not something I've
talked much about over the years.
(09:52):
In fact, it's something I've oftenavoided, choosing to focus instead on
self-reliance, on what we, as individuals,can tap into in any given moment to
cultivate resilience and adaptability.
But the truth is the first four C'sare all about what you and I can do.
But there comes a timewhen we reach our limits.
(10:14):
And that's when we need someone else.
That's when we need community.
And so when I share the story ofthe marriage, the book release,
the speaking engagement, and I say,It wouldn't be possible without
community, that's absolutely true.
So why then why do I say communityis your competitive advantage?
(10:36):
Well, I was thinking about thisrecently because we often, especially in
business, we focus a lot on competition.
Meaning, you know, we look around andwe see who we're up against and we're
trying to figure out how do we stand out?
How do we rise above?
And that's true if we're a business,you want to stand out from your
competition, but even as an individual,In the workplace you want to stand
(10:59):
out from your peers, whether you thinkof them explicitly as competition
or not, you want to stand out.
You want to make your mark and positionyourself to rise up through the ranks.
But I believe we stand moreto gain by working together.
Then by working against each other.
(11:20):
You see community, again, itdoesn't just feel good, but
it allows you to be your best.
It supports you in becoming your best.
Because when you're surrounded bya community that's built on true
authentic connection where you canshow up with vulnerability then you
can focus on being the best version ofyourself and you leave the competition
(11:44):
that, you know, they're going to dotheir best and become their best.
But the truth of the matteris when you are your best,
there is no one else like you.
There is no competition for who you are.
There is only one of you.
But it takes community to bring that out.
Both in terms of supporting youand offering you encouragement when
(12:06):
things are challenging, but alsoholding you accountable and saying,
Hey, I know you're better than this.
I know you can do more.
And so it pushes us to achievemore than we normally would.
And then also the realityis we all have weaknesses.
We have strengths and we have weaknesses.
And sure we want to, be the best we can beand play to our strengths And strengthen
(12:30):
our weaknesses, but still at the endof the day, there're going to be some
things that I just, I don't do so well.
Or, or at least to say someone elsedoes it a whole lot better than me.
And so when we build a community aroundourselves, Then we can focus on doing
what we do best and the community showsup doing what they do best and we are
(12:51):
stronger and better off as a result.
So community means having thepeople to encourage you to hold
you accountable, to help you grow.
And also community is not justabout being on the receiving end.
Community is also about giving.
It's about showing up for others,sharing your talents, sharing your
(13:13):
experience, sharing your perspective.
Because at the end of the day,isn't that what really brings true
meaning and depth to our lives?
When I think about some of the thingsthat I've been through, it's definitely
been challenging for me just as your pathhas been challenging for you, I know.
And what's brought, meaning to meis to be able to give back whether
(13:34):
it's writing a book, whether it'sdoing coaching, talking with a friend
who's going through a tough time.
, Doing speaking engagements, to beable to show up and share something
from my experience and then know thatit matters, that it helps somebody
else, that changes everything.
So it just brings meaningand depth to our lives.
(13:55):
But I also saw, as I was preparingfor this recent speaking engagement,
Just trying to deepen my knowledgeof the power of community.
I came across some recentresearch from Gallup.
That 20% of workers around the worldexperience loneliness on a daily basis.
In other words, one out of five workers.
Experience loneliness on a daily basis.
(14:16):
And if you work remotely,Those numbers jump up to 25%.
That experienced loneliness on adaily basis where one out of four.
And I know I've experienced loneliness.
I know you have.
We know it doesn't feel good,but what really caught me off
guard was seeing the health riskthat's connected to loneliness.
(14:38):
The US Surgeon General comparesthe effects of loneliness to
smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
So community, not only does ithelp us achieve more, but also it's
truly critical to our wellbeing.
So as the pace of change accelerates,as there's more and more uncertainty
(14:59):
in the world, all these things thatcan leave you feeling isolated,
leave you feeling like man, nobodyunderstands what I'm going through.
Community becomes more and morecritical, not just to survive all the
challenges, but really to thrive inthis constantly accelerating world.
So, how do you build orexpand your community?
(15:22):
Let me just offer some practicalideas here because I hope as
you're hearing this, you'rethinking, yeah, you know what?
I could, maybe I coulduse some more community.
Maybe I'm not as pluggedin as I would like to be.
So here are some steps you can take.
Number one.
Take a moment to identify orto assess where you are in your
(15:42):
life in terms of community.
Identify the gaps, whereare you lacking support?
Is it at work?
Do you need to connectwith a mentor at work?
is it there or is itin your personal life?
Maybe things are okay at work,but in your personal life, you're
saying my community's kind ofdwindled a bit in recent years.
So to start with, identify those gaps.
(16:04):
That's the first step towardbuilding a stronger community is
just seeing where you are presently.
And then from there, the second step isto start small and reach out to someone,
whether it's a colleague, an old friend.
I will say that just in these lastcouple of weeks, I've had the chance to
reconnect with three different peoplewho go back 20 to 25 years in my life.
(16:27):
and some of them I hadn'ttalked to in almost that time.
it was just.
really special to connect with somebodyfrom a different era in life and
remember that you both shared someexperiences there and to hear stories.
One of the guys I used to work withyears ago and then come to find out
we had both been on this similar pathin terms of bankruptcy and divorce
(16:48):
and coming out on the other side witha perspective that just allows you to
feel like life is better than ever, notbecause of external circumstances, but
because of what you've learned aboutlife, what you've learned about yourself.
Community offers that, but also,you know, community, you can find
it in going to seminars and workingwith a coach or a therapist, mentor.
(17:12):
Maybe, you know, maybe it's goingto a Toastmasters club meeting.
I just mentioned that I spoke forToastmasters and I'll tell you in
getting to know that organizationin a more up close and personal way
as I was preparing to speak there.
it's just a really special place.
I've never seen a group where everyoneis so committed to growth and service and
leadership and supporting one another.
(17:34):
I heard story after story of Howmembers found more confidence
from going to these club meetings.
so maybe it's going to aToastmasters club meeting.
Maybe it's just a meetup.
Maybe it's a professionalassociation, a chamber of commerce.
but where could you plug in tofind some like-minded individuals
who share your goals and values?
But start small.
(17:54):
Send an email, make a phone call.
you don't have to show up at ameeting today, but what would
be a small step you could take?
And then from there, the third step isjust to keep going to be consistent.
Because building a communitydoesn't happen overnight.
It's about consistent small steps.
(18:14):
And as I said, as an introvert,this is something that
doesn't come naturally to me.
I'm working to getbetter and better at it.
I started a mastermind group withinmy company, The Speakers Group.
I work with hundreds of speakers.
and obviously working with thatmany speakers, we can't all be in
touch on a regular basis, but I'vestarted putting together a smaller
group where we can get togetherperiodically and share in our successes.
(18:37):
Share our goals and share our challenges.
And offer ideas back and forthand to a person, everybody in that
group, it's been just this breath offresh air because speaking is one of
those isolated, lonely professions.
if you happen to be listening to thisand you are a speaker reach out to
us at The Speakers Group and I cantell you more about what we're doing
(19:01):
and see if it's something that wouldbe a fit for you to plug in with.
Take those small steps, make it a habitto connect with others on a regular basis.
Whether it's a phone call and email.
attending a meeting, whatever it may be.
And I'm continuing to work on that myself.
One thing I've done.
is, you know, I'll have these callrequests that pop up on my calendar.
(19:22):
sometimes it's an old friend.
Sometimes it's a colleaguelooking for help.
Sometimes it's clients.
And my schedule can just kindof fill in with these calls.
one day I was getting reallyfrustrated by that cause I looked
at my calendar and I was like, man,there's only like a two hour window
here for me to do some other work.
And then I had one of these callsand that call was such a gift.
That conversation.
(19:44):
was the highlight of my day.
And I thought, you know what?
Moving forward, I'm changingmy perspective on these calls.
I'm going to look atevery call on my calendar.
As a gift and an opportunityto connect with someone.
And sure some of them are goingto be more meaningful than others.
Sometimes I'll be like, huh?
Well, I could've done with that withoutthat today, but you just never know.
So just to note, Everyconnection is a gift.
(20:07):
So just be consistent.
And then the fourth thing is remember togive as much as you get, maybe even more.
But remember the communityis a two way street.
So look for ways to show up withothers, not just to be supported,
but to offer your support, to offeryour expertise, your encouragement.
maybe you reach out to somebodythat's been on your mind.
(20:29):
Because we all have those peoplethat have been on our mind a lot.
Maybe you just need to reach out tosomebody, send a text, make a call,
send an email and say, Hey, I was justthinking about you and wanted to check in.
It can be as simple as that.
And you never know who you'regoing to reach on the other
end, what their situation.
might be, but the more you givethe stronger your community.
will become.
(20:51):
community is not justsomething nice to have.
It is your competitive advantage.
I believe that.
as the world we live in becomesmore and more isolated through
technology on one hand, we're moreconnected than we've ever been.
But then on the other hand, as you know,We're more isolated than we've ever been.
I mean, we go to the grocerystore and we don't have to even
(21:11):
have to see anybody to check out.
You go to the gas station.
I remember the old days going tothe gas station with my grandparents
when it was full service.
And the guy would come up and watch thewindshield, check the oil, do all that.
Ask, how are you doing today?
And now we try to avoid humancontact as much as possible.
But I do believe that there is moreto gain from us working together
(21:35):
than when we work against each other.
We can work together andeach become our best.
And then we just let thecompetition piece go where it goes.
You know, if I'm my best, then Itrust that the right people are
going to find their way to me.
I'm going to find myway to the right people.
I talk about resilience.
I talk about adaptability.
(21:57):
It's inspirational in nature.
There are a lot of other speakers thatfit under those categories and under those
umbrellas, But I trust that when I showup as my best there's a certain audience,
a certain client base I can serve.
And there's a certain client base andaudience that my competitors can serve.
But I know that togetherit's a whole lot better.
(22:19):
when we, when we join forcesand support each other.
Because without community, there'sa ceiling on how high you can go.
You can give it your absolute best,but at some point you're going
to come to your personal limits.
But with the right community around youto support you, to hold you accountable,
all the things we talked about, you canachieve Heights beyond your imagination.
(22:40):
So I want you to imagineA year in the future.
There you are standing there.
And you're looking back at how yourcommunity has grown over the past year.
And then you realize that this momentlistening to this podcast was the
moment you decided to make it happen.
Think about the connectionsyou'll have made.
(23:00):
The support you'll have given andreceived just from again, taking
those small steps, sending an email,sending a text, making a call.
Think about the impact that will have had.
On your personal and professional life.
When you look back on that past year,That's what's possible right now.
I appreciate you listeningto the podcast today.
(23:21):
and stay tuned for future episodes, bythe way, because as we get back into
this podcast groove, I'm going to beintroducing you to some of the members
of my community, other speakers andauthors and thought leaders with just
amazing perspective and expertise.
Who can support you on your ownjourney to live a better life
and build a better business.
So I can't wait for that.
(23:42):
and then again, just a littlebook plug, my book, Mastering
the Moments is available now.
I'd love to join you andcontribute to your life that way.
If you find yourself navigating theendings or beginnings or the space
in between in life, that's whatMastering the Moments is all about.
It's filled with stories andinsights to inspire you and
guide you through that journey.
(24:02):
You can also sign up for my weeklynewsletter at ShawnEllis.com slash weekly.
That's SHAWNELLIS.COM/WEEKLY.
That's where I share tips and storieseach week to help you live a better
life and build a better business.
So if I can serve you in that way andbe a part of your extended community,
I would be honored and grateful.
(24:24):
And if I can support you in some otherway, reach out to my website, let me know.
thank you for being here today.
Thank you for listening.
And remember.
Community is your competitive advantage.
So until next time, keep building, keep
Hello, my friend, and welcome to TheBetter Life Better Business Podcast.
(00:04):
I'm your host, Shawn Ellis, and thisis episode number 32, titled "Community
Is Your Competitive Advantage."
Now I almost titled this episode "OneWeek in August" and I'll explain why
in a moment, but first, before wedive in, I want you to think about a
time when you felt truly supported.
(00:26):
When you knew that without adoubt, someone had your back.
Can you think of a time like that?
Can you remember that feeling?
Because that's whatcommunity is all about.
And today I'm going to show you howthat feeling isn't just comforting,
but I believe it's truly yourgreatest edge in life and business.
(00:48):
And I'm saying this as an introvert.
So it's taken me a while tocome around to this idea.
But hopefully by the end of theepisode, you'll be able to entertain
this possibility and perhaps be ableto believe it and use it to make the
next chapter of your life work businessbetter then you could have imagined.
(01:14):
Let me say this, though,before we go too far.
When I say competitive advantage, I'mnot just speaking to business leaders
or entrepreneurs here, although I knowthat when you hear competitive advantage,
you might think of marketing or sales.
And while certainly it applies there,this idea really applies to everyone.
It doesn't matter where you arein life or what role you play.
(01:34):
And if competitive advantage isn't aphrase that you use regularly, maybe
think of it as your personal edge.
That unique strength orquality that sets you apart.
And helps you achieve your goals,whether personally or professionally.
And what I want to share today is thatcommunity is your competitive advantage.
(01:55):
And it's something I'vebeen reflecting on a lot.
Particularly after thatone week in August.
The last episode I did wastitled, "She Said Yes!!!"
and I introduced you to, myfiance, Megan, after, she had
accepted my proposal for marriage.
And, and then I kind of went silentand that wasn't really intentional.
(02:17):
Just there's been a lot going on.
Leading up to that one week in August.
And, now I'm happy to say that Meganis my wife, because we got married.
And then a few days after that Ireleased my first book, Mastering
the Moments (02:33):
A Journey of Endings, Beginnings, and the Space in Between.
And then on the very next day, Ispoke to over six thousand people
at the Toastmasters 100th AnnualConvention, which was truly an
honor and an absolute joy after25 years in the speaking business.
it was, it was just a real treat tobe able to speak to that audience
(02:55):
for that organization, which is justbeen a mainstay in the speaking or
communication space, but all thathappened in the course of one week.
And on one hand, I could talk about justhow amazing all those things were, but
I'm not sharing that just to tell youabout the happenings or the achievements.
(03:19):
But the truth is that none ofthose events would have happened
without the power of community.
Because if you follow me on socialmedia, you've seen the pictures.
I posted a picture from ourwedding day and we're holding
a sign that says Best Day Ever.
You've seen the book cover leading up tothe book release, you've maybe seen some
(03:41):
pictures from the Toastmasters event.
Those are the highlights.
That's what social media is, right?
But what you don't see there iswhat went on behind the scenes to
make all of those events possible.
And, like we can takelet's just go one by one.
We'll take the wedding.
That week leading up to, to usgetting married, which was, it
(04:02):
was tough for us to fit in our.
Our lives were so crazy betweenstuff with our three kids and
work and all these things.
We decided to do a courthouse wedding,which is the way my grandparents got
married way, way back a long time ago.
And, we just decided that that would bethe best way for us to make it happen.
So we invited our parents and it wasa really special day, but leading up
(04:24):
to that week, We went in to get ourmarriage license and when we went in
there, having been divorced, I neededto provide my certified divorce decree
in order to get the marriage license.
Well, the problem with thatis I didn't have a copy of
my certified divorce decree.
So the whole wedding was in jeopardyif we couldn't figure that out.
(04:45):
So I reached out to my dear friend Joyback in Nashville, And I said, Hey, would
it be possible for you to go pick up acopy of this for me and then overnight it?
And when we spoke, she was doing, a girl'sday out and they totally changed their
plans, rerouted everything, to be ableto go get the copy of the divorce decree.
(05:06):
They overnighted it here.
And then on the morning of the daywe were going to get married, we
went in to get our marriage license.
And it all worked out and, and trulycommunity saved the day that day.
So that picture you see of "bestday ever" wouldn't have been
possible without community.
And then let's go to the bookrelease a few days later.
(05:28):
Well, one reason that that I've beenreally quiet, and no podcast episodes.
very little on social mediathese last few months, is because
I was working on that book.
I was under a deadline to finish thewriting, to get it edited, to get the
cover designed, you know, to get all thedetails in place for it to be published.
And if you pick up a copy of that book,you'll see that it's my name on the cover.
(05:52):
I'm the author of Mastering theMoments and that's an honor and an
achievement and I'm Proud and grateful.
But what it doesn't show thereis the community behind the
scenes that made that possible.
it's no coincidence that this book didn'tcome out before I met my wife, Megan.
(06:14):
I've been working on this book really,you know, going back 10 years to the
origin, but, over the last five really.
And I thought it would'vecome out long before now.
If you've written a book, youknow how much goes into it.
If you've attempted to write a book,you know, how much goes into it?
I've always had tremendous, admiration andrespect for anyone who published a book.
(06:36):
And now, after going throughthe process, I have even more
cause it's just, it's a project.
There's no other way to say it.
But that project wouldn't have happened.
I wouldn't have been able to get thatacross the finish line without Megan
taking care of all the responsibilitiesat home with our three kids and making
sure everything happened there so Icould be freed up to work on the book.
(06:57):
And then in my business, The SpeakersGroup, thanks to my team, Jan and
Dawn, they were able to keep all ofthat moving forward while most of my
attention was going toward the book.
So truly community made that possible.
And if you read the book by the way, thebook, while it's stories from my life,
really every one of those stories is whatI call an intersection with somebody else.
(07:22):
Whether somebody said something thatmade a difference in my life or an
interaction that led to a specialexperience, I dedicate the book to my son.
I call him my little guru and, cause I'velearned so many lessons thanks to him.
But that book is really, it's astory of all these intersections.
That book truly would notexist without community.
(07:44):
And then the Toastmasters event.
same thing.
While, you know, when there's aspeaker on stage one person has
the microphone and the spotlight.
But behind the scenes a lot has to happen.
First of all, everyone at Toastmasters,Diana and Renee, my main contacts
there, as we were putting it alltogether, they helped to get me
the information that I needed andhelped to coordinate everything.
(08:07):
Brandee helped with travel coordination.
So the whole team at Toastmasters,that's part of the community.
But the week before that event, apotential family crisis popped up.
And I won't go into the details here,but just to say, there were some real
questions about how I was going tobe able to pull this off and whether
I would have to adjust travel plans.
(08:27):
But, thanks to the community once again,in this case, being some professionals
that we had connected with and familymembers, I was able to hand that off
to others and trust that everything wasgoing to be taken care of so I could
focus on doing what I needed to do toshow up with peace of mind and clarity and
deliver the presentation at Toastmasters.
(08:50):
But I share all that tohighlight the power of community.
And in doing so I want to encourageyou to do a check on your own community
right now, personally and professionally.
And in this episode, I want tooffer you some practical ways to
(09:11):
harness the power of community.
To help you navigate the challengesyou may be facing right now, and
also to accelerate your success, tofind deeper meaning in your journey.
So my hope is that when you finishthis episode, you'll feel inspired
to either build or expand your owncommunity today because I truly believe
(09:31):
community is your competitive advantage.
And now if you've followed my work forany length of time, maybe you're familiar
with my five C's to Adapt and Thrive.
And the fifth C is Community.
And this absolutely ties back to that.
And as I said, as an introvert,community, it's not something I've
talked much about over the years.
(09:52):
In fact, it's something I've oftenavoided, choosing to focus instead on
self-reliance, on what we, as individuals,can tap into in any given moment to
cultivate resilience and adaptability.
But the truth is the first four C'sare all about what you and I can do.
But there comes a timewhen we reach our limits.
(10:14):
And that's when we need someone else.
That's when we need community.
And so when I share the story ofthe marriage, the book release,
the speaking engagement, and I say,It wouldn't be possible without
community, that's absolutely true.
So why then why do I say communityis your competitive advantage?
(10:36):
Well, I was thinking about thisrecently because we often, especially in
business, we focus a lot on competition.
Meaning, you know, we look around andwe see who we're up against and we're
trying to figure out how do we stand out?
How do we rise above?
And that's true if we're a business,you want to stand out from your
competition, but even as an individual,In the workplace you want to stand
(10:59):
out from your peers, whether you thinkof them explicitly as competition
or not, you want to stand out.
You want to make your mark and positionyourself to rise up through the ranks.
But I believe we stand moreto gain by working together.
Then by working against each other.
(11:20):
You see community, again, itdoesn't just feel good, but
it allows you to be your best.
It supports you in becoming your best.
Because when you're surrounded bya community that's built on true
authentic connection where you canshow up with vulnerability then you
can focus on being the best version ofyourself and you leave the competition
(11:44):
that, you know, they're going to dotheir best and become their best.
But the truth of the matteris when you are your best,
there is no one else like you.
There is no competition for who you are.
There is only one of you.
But it takes community to bring that out.
Both in terms of supporting youand offering you encouragement when
(12:06):
things are challenging, but alsoholding you accountable and saying,
Hey, I know you're better than this.
I know you can do more.
And so it pushes us to achievemore than we normally would.
And then also the realityis we all have weaknesses.
We have strengths and we have weaknesses.
And sure we want to, be the best we can beand play to our strengths And strengthen
(12:30):
our weaknesses, but still at the endof the day, there're going to be some
things that I just, I don't do so well.
Or, or at least to say someone elsedoes it a whole lot better than me.
And so when we build a community aroundourselves, Then we can focus on doing
what we do best and the community showsup doing what they do best and we are
(12:51):
stronger and better off as a result.
So community means having thepeople to encourage you to hold
you accountable, to help you grow.
And also community is not justabout being on the receiving end.
Community is also about giving.
It's about showing up for others,sharing your talents, sharing your
(13:13):
experience, sharing your perspective.
Because at the end of the day,isn't that what really brings true
meaning and depth to our lives?
When I think about some of the thingsthat I've been through, it's definitely
been challenging for me just as your pathhas been challenging for you, I know.
And what's brought, meaning to meis to be able to give back whether
(13:34):
it's writing a book, whether it'sdoing coaching, talking with a friend
who's going through a tough time.
, Doing speaking engagements, to beable to show up and share something
from my experience and then know thatit matters, that it helps somebody
else, that changes everything.
So it just brings meaningand depth to our lives.
(13:55):
But I also saw, as I was preparingfor this recent speaking engagement,
Just trying to deepen my knowledgeof the power of community.
I came across some recentresearch from Gallup.
That 20% of workers around the worldexperience loneliness on a daily basis.
In other words, one out of five workers.
Experience loneliness on a daily basis.
(14:16):
And if you work remotely,Those numbers jump up to 25%.
That experienced loneliness on adaily basis where one out of four.
And I know I've experienced loneliness.
I know you have.
We know it doesn't feel good,but what really caught me off
guard was seeing the health riskthat's connected to loneliness.
(14:38):
The US Surgeon General comparesthe effects of loneliness to
smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
So community, not only does ithelp us achieve more, but also it's
truly critical to our wellbeing.
So as the pace of change accelerates,as there's more and more uncertainty
(14:59):
in the world, all these things thatcan leave you feeling isolated,
leave you feeling like man, nobodyunderstands what I'm going through.
Community becomes more and morecritical, not just to survive all the
challenges, but really to thrive inthis constantly accelerating world.
So, how do you build orexpand your community?
(15:22):
Let me just offer some practicalideas here because I hope as
you're hearing this, you'rethinking, yeah, you know what?
I could, maybe I coulduse some more community.
Maybe I'm not as pluggedin as I would like to be.
So here are some steps you can take.
Number one.
Take a moment to identify orto assess where you are in your
(15:42):
life in terms of community.
Identify the gaps, whereare you lacking support?
Is it at work?
Do you need to connectwith a mentor at work?
is it there or is itin your personal life?
Maybe things are okay at work,but in your personal life, you're
saying my community's kind ofdwindled a bit in recent years.
So to start with, identify those gaps.
(16:04):
That's the first step towardbuilding a stronger community is
just seeing where you are presently.
And then from there, the second step isto start small and reach out to someone,
whether it's a colleague, an old friend.
I will say that just in these lastcouple of weeks, I've had the chance to
reconnect with three different peoplewho go back 20 to 25 years in my life.
(16:27):
and some of them I hadn'ttalked to in almost that time.
it was just.
really special to connect with somebodyfrom a different era in life and
remember that you both shared someexperiences there and to hear stories.
One of the guys I used to work withyears ago and then come to find out
we had both been on this similar pathin terms of bankruptcy and divorce
(16:48):
and coming out on the other side witha perspective that just allows you to
feel like life is better than ever, notbecause of external circumstances, but
because of what you've learned aboutlife, what you've learned about yourself.
Community offers that, but also,you know, community, you can find
it in going to seminars and workingwith a coach or a therapist, mentor.
(17:12):
Maybe, you know, maybe it's goingto a Toastmasters club meeting.
I just mentioned that I spoke forToastmasters and I'll tell you in
getting to know that organizationin a more up close and personal way
as I was preparing to speak there.
it's just a really special place.
I've never seen a group where everyoneis so committed to growth and service and
leadership and supporting one another.
(17:34):
I heard story after story of Howmembers found more confidence
from going to these club meetings.
so maybe it's going to aToastmasters club meeting.
Maybe it's just a meetup.
Maybe it's a professionalassociation, a chamber of commerce.
but where could you plug in tofind some like-minded individuals
who share your goals and values?
But start small.
(17:54):
Send an email, make a phone call.
you don't have to show up at ameeting today, but what would
be a small step you could take?
And then from there, the third step isjust to keep going to be consistent.
Because building a communitydoesn't happen overnight.
It's about consistent small steps.
(18:14):
And as I said, as an introvert,this is something that
doesn't come naturally to me.
I'm working to getbetter and better at it.
I started a mastermind group withinmy company, The Speakers Group.
I work with hundreds of speakers.
and obviously working with thatmany speakers, we can't all be in
touch on a regular basis, but I'vestarted putting together a smaller
group where we can get togetherperiodically and share in our successes.
(18:37):
Share our goals and share our challenges.
And offer ideas back and forthand to a person, everybody in that
group, it's been just this breath offresh air because speaking is one of
those isolated, lonely professions.
if you happen to be listening to thisand you are a speaker reach out to
us at The Speakers Group and I cantell you more about what we're doing
(19:01):
and see if it's something that wouldbe a fit for you to plug in with.
Take those small steps, make it a habitto connect with others on a regular basis.
Whether it's a phone call and email.
attending a meeting, whatever it may be.
And I'm continuing to work on that myself.
One thing I've done.
is, you know, I'll have these callrequests that pop up on my calendar.
(19:22):
sometimes it's an old friend.
Sometimes it's a colleaguelooking for help.
Sometimes it's clients.
And my schedule can just kindof fill in with these calls.
one day I was getting reallyfrustrated by that cause I looked
at my calendar and I was like, man,there's only like a two hour window
here for me to do some other work.
And then I had one of these callsand that call was such a gift.
That conversation.
(19:44):
was the highlight of my day.
And I thought, you know what?
Moving forward, I'm changingmy perspective on these calls.
I'm going to look atevery call on my calendar.
As a gift and an opportunityto connect with someone.
And sure some of them are goingto be more meaningful than others.
Sometimes I'll be like, huh?
Well, I could've done with that withoutthat today, but you just never know.
So just to note, Everyconnection is a gift.
(20:07):
So just be consistent.
And then the fourth thing is remember togive as much as you get, maybe even more.
But remember the communityis a two way street.
So look for ways to show up withothers, not just to be supported,
but to offer your support, to offeryour expertise, your encouragement.
maybe you reach out to somebodythat's been on your mind.
(20:29):
Because we all have those peoplethat have been on our mind a lot.
Maybe you just need to reach out tosomebody, send a text, make a call,
send an email and say, Hey, I was justthinking about you and wanted to check in.
It can be as simple as that.
And you never know who you'regoing to reach on the other
end, what their situation.
might be, but the more you givethe stronger your community.
will become.
(20:51):
community is not justsomething nice to have.
It is your competitive advantage.
I believe that.
as the world we live in becomesmore and more isolated through
technology on one hand, we're moreconnected than we've ever been.
But then on the other hand, as you know,We're more isolated than we've ever been.
I mean, we go to the grocerystore and we don't have to even
(21:11):
have to see anybody to check out.
You go to the gas station.
I remember the old days going tothe gas station with my grandparents
when it was full service.
And the guy would come up and watch thewindshield, check the oil, do all that.
Ask, how are you doing today?
And now we try to avoid humancontact as much as possible.
But I do believe that there is moreto gain from us working together
(21:35):
than when we work against each other.
We can work together andeach become our best.
And then we just let thecompetition piece go where it goes.
You know, if I'm my best, then Itrust that the right people are
going to find their way to me.
I'm going to find myway to the right people.
I talk about resilience.
I talk about adaptability.
(21:57):
It's inspirational in nature.
There are a lot of other speakers thatfit under those categories and under those
umbrellas, But I trust that when I showup as my best there's a certain audience,
a certain client base I can serve.
And there's a certain client base andaudience that my competitors can serve.
But I know that togetherit's a whole lot better.
(22:19):
when we, when we join forcesand support each other.
Because without community, there'sa ceiling on how high you can go.
You can give it your absolute best,but at some point you're going
to come to your personal limits.
But with the right community around youto support you, to hold you accountable,
all the things we talked about, you canachieve Heights beyond your imagination.
(22:40):
So I want you to imagineA year in the future.
There you are standing there.
And you're looking back at how yourcommunity has grown over the past year.
And then you realize that this momentlistening to this podcast was the
moment you decided to make it happen.
Think about the connectionsyou'll have made.
(23:00):
The support you'll have given andreceived just from again, taking
those small steps, sending an email,sending a text, making a call.
Think about the impact that will have had.
On your personal and professional life.
When you look back on that past year,That's what's possible right now.
I appreciate you listeningto the podcast today.
(23:21):
and stay tuned for future episodes, bythe way, because as we get back into
this podcast groove, I'm going to beintroducing you to some of the members
of my community, other speakers andauthors and thought leaders with just
amazing perspective and expertise.
Who can support you on your ownjourney to live a better life
and build a better business.
So I can't wait for that.
(23:42):
and then again, just a littlebook plug, my book, Mastering
the Moments is available now.
I'd love to join you andcontribute to your life that way.
If you find yourself navigating theendings or beginnings or the space
in between in life, that's whatMastering the Moments is all about.
It's filled with stories andinsights to inspire you and
guide you through that journey.
(24:02):
You can also sign up for my weeklynewsletter at ShawnEllis.com slash weekly.
That's SHAWNELLIS.COM/WEEKLY.
That's where I share tips and storieseach week to help you live a better
life and build a better business.
So if I can serve you in that way andbe a part of your extended community,
I would be honored and grateful.
(24:24):
And if I can support you in some otherway, reach out to my website, let me know.
thank you for being here today.
Thank you for listening.
And remember.
Community is your competitive advantage.
So until next time, keep building, keep
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