April 28, 2025 • 47 mins
In this intimate dialogue, Brittany Dawn articulates her evolution from a life steeped in societal expectations and personal despair to one of spiritual awakening and empowerment. The discussion provides an unflinching look at the pressures that young individuals, particularly women, face in contemporary society, including the incessant pursuit of perfection as dictated by social media and cultural norms. Dawn's narrative serves as a case study of how external validation can lead to profound internal discord, culminating in mental health crises that often remain shrouded in secrecy. This episode underscores the critical importance of addressing such struggles in open dialogue, particularly within the context of faith communities that may shy away from discussing mental health and personal crises.
The conversation also highlights the vital role of pastoral care and counseling in the healing process. Brittany's experience emphasizes that while deliverance is a significant aspect of her journey, it must be accompanied by ongoing support and practical steps towards recovery, such as counseling and spiritual mentorship. The episode ultimately advocates for a holistic approach to healing that encompasses spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being, challenging listeners to embrace vulnerability and seek help in their darkest moments.
This episode is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative potential of faith, offering a testimony that resonates with anyone grappling with their identity and purpose in a complex world.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:33):
Well, hey, we're here withBrittany dawn, and I am so excited.
We're gonna have a vulnerableconversation, and I want to make
sure that you stick aroundthrough the entirety of it, because
there's so many differentaspects of her testimony and her
story that are gonna become atestimony for you.
And that's why God does thingslike this.
I don't believe in accidents.
As a matter of fact, when youclicked in, there's these divine
(00:54):
appointments where you hearthe exact thing in the exact season
that you need to hear.
But I'm also joined with myteenage daughter.
Hey.
And so Bella is here as well.
So welcome, Brittany dawn, toNew York City.
Welcome to the underground studio.
This is so fun.
Any excuse to come to New York City.
(01:14):
Yes.
Yeah.
Now I just want to shout outyour husband as well.
He's a trooper.
He's off camera right now, butnew best friend.
It was instant.
Yeah, y'all did hit it offpretty quick.
Yeah, he's trying to findy'all gym equipment.
And also, I say y'all a lotbecause we're.
Yeah, yeah, please.
Yeah.
Well, we're half hillbilly, right?
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(01:36):
You test it out.
Y.
Y.
Love it.
The first thing that.
That we did when you got here,so just to tell the people watching
was gave.
Gave you an entire tour of thehouse without my wife's permission.
So probably in the commentssection, y'all are just roasting
me right now.
Like, how dare you disrespectJulie, the mother of the house.
(01:58):
But I had to.
I had to.
It was beautiful.
Yes.
And we were honored to be here.
Oh, yeah.
It's gonn.
Well, I know it's going tohelp so many people.
I'd love to just give you anopportunity to really tell your testimony.
I know that Bell's got somequestions as well, but.
Yeah, I just wanted to kind ofgive you, like, unfettered.
Like, don't worry about time.
(02:19):
Because it's just.
Especially because whetherit's male or female, I believe there's
so many in my world that aregetting to know you right now, but
also that are getting to hearyour story.
And so is there anything thatyou want to focus on in particular,
like.
Cause I wanna make sure.
Cause I know that you're ledby the Holy Spirit and you kind of
have that sense of, like, whathe wants you to say.
Yeah, there are.
(02:39):
I love that.
I definitely yield to the HolySpirit when I share my testimony.
Cause there are so manyaspects that could correlate with
so many different People, forme specifically today, I feel like
the Lord is wanting me tostart it when I was like a late teenager
and go into what happened inmy 20s.
Cause that was when I kind offell away from the.
From the Lord.
So I gave my life to Christwhen I was 16 and grew up in a Christian
(03:02):
household, but no one reallytold me what was to come after you
give your life to the Lord.
Spiritual warfare and just allof that.
Right.
That we know we're supposed toarmor up.
But I wasn't equipped becauseit was a Baptist church and so gave
my life to the Lord and thenjust kind of fell away a year later.
It was just attack afterattack after attack.
(03:22):
And it was underage drinkingand sexual sin and pornography and
just all the heaviness that,you know, teenagers can fall into.
And then in my 20s, thefitness industry, that's kind of
where I felt like I needed tosoak in a little bit.
It got ahold of me and I just.
I was young and broken and Ididn't understand identity.
(03:44):
I had no confidence.
Just all the.
It was the perfect storm forthe enemy to kind of come in and
start trying to plant seedsand plant lies and wasn't rooted
in God at this time becauseagain, I had fallen completely away.
Wow.
And just really startedfinding myself in the world with
eating disorders and underageagain, underage drinking and partying
(04:09):
and pornography at that pointhad really gotten a grip on me.
And sexual sin and then reallyjust dove into that headfirst.
Dropped out of college, builta successful business, and the business
took off like wildfire.
I had no idea what I was doingwith it because I was not a business
(04:31):
major in any sense.
But with that just came moreopen doors.
And it was like the enemy hadhanded me an apple and he was just
giving me everything that Icould possibly want.
So of course I'm like, yeah,this is like what I've dreamed of.
I'm 21 and I've got a boomingbusiness and I have the body, you
know, that every girl wants.
And the pressure of, you know,Pinterest like that Thinspo, Fitspo,
(04:53):
Fitspiration.
There's such a pressure, womenin today's, even still today's world.
And got married really young,just, you know, in sin, all of that.
By the time I was 26, I gotdivorced and got out of that by the
(05:14):
grace of God.
I won't go into that just tohonor my ex husband, but did get
out of that, moved to Dallas,which, you know, I was like a little
country Girl.
So I had never experienced thebig city.
And when I got to the bigcity, the enemy just really dug.
Sunk his teeth in even more.
I believe that every city hasa principality over it, and you can
(05:38):
feel the spiritual shift.
I mean, even when our planelanded here in New York City, I was
like, you can just feel thatwhen you're heightened and you're
walking in the spirit.
And so I wasn't aware of that,but in that brokenness of being a
divorcee at 26 and, you know,just being so hungry for identity
(05:58):
somewhere, somehow I justreally jumped off the deep end.
I was sleeping around, beingpromiscuous, using men, trying to
heal that wound in my heartthat the Lord should have been healing,
but instead I was trying to,you know, self heal and then just
really.
(06:18):
That's kind of when thedemonic realm started working in
my life.
Which, again, when you go to aSouthern Baptist church, you're not
really warned about that stuff.
Yeah, I started getting sleepparalysis constantly.
I mean, it was just likeencounters and just, you know, seeing
things in your room, andyou're like, that's not God, and
(06:41):
didn't have a Bible in my place.
So it's just like so many different.
So you would wake up and youwould physically feel like something
was on top of you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's one of my top viewedvideos is me teaching about how to
get free from sleep paralysis.
So you were experiencing that.
So at this point, was it likeyears into just, like, sin, living
for yourself, partying?
(07:02):
And then it started to accumulate.
And now all of a sudden, thedemonic realm is becoming more obvious
because that's such a commonthing where it's like, I think in
the beginning, Satan tries toconceal himself, and then it accumulates
where the devil's like, oh,they're in so deep.
I'm just coming out with it now.
Yeah.
Oh, it's so much so.
Yeah.
At this point, you know, it just.
(07:23):
My nothing about my home washonoring the Lord.
I was inviting witchcraft in,believing in astrology, like.
Yeah, not like the Ouija boardstuff, but, you know, the new age.
New age, yeah.
New age beliefs I was fully inand all of that.
And I just think it was theperfect storm for all of that.
So you were opening doors tothe devil?
Yes, like, in every direction.
(07:44):
It's so surreal because I feltlike you should be a part of this
conversation and just lookingacross the table and knowing that
you accepted Christ at 16, yousaid, and you're 16.
But then, like, on the otherside of that Your story is like you
were just years away fromstepping into all this brokenness
and all these situations.
And, like, there's a big partof me as a dad right now that's like,
(08:06):
oh, like, thank God for these conversations.
And.
And so you were telling me,because we were talking about this,
like, how much, like, her lifeand stories helped you as well.
How does it feel?
Just because I know we'regoing to keep going deeper into your
story.
How does it feel to hear that, though?
Like, knowing that you're thechurch girl?
You know, I always see my owndaughter on the front row worshiping.
(08:28):
Maybe somebody watching rightnow used to be that church girl.
And maybe they're in themiddle of the story that you're telling
now and this broadcast isgoing to bring them back to the father.
I sense that, like a prodigalrevival, like, returning.
And maybe they feel like they can't.
And, like, it's making me wantto cry already because I feel like
you're here, you're back.
(08:49):
I mean, you're reachingmillions of people with your life,
but then you're at thebeginning of the story and God's
trying to help you, like, nothave to go through that.
But how do you feel hearing this?
Yeah, I mean, theseconversations are so crucial.
Just like the vulnerability, vulnerability.
Vulnerability.
But they're so crucial to havebecause everybody is so scared to,
(09:12):
like, show their real self onsocial media.
It's all so fake and it's justnot real.
So this conversation thatwe're having today is so important
to many of the Gen Z and justyoung girls watching who.
Who want to be in the world.
And everything's fine on the surface.
I have this business.
Oh, I'm partying with my friends.
I'm having so much fun.
Just like your story, andeverything's fine.
(09:32):
Looking in, but in, you know,what's going on, it's just so.
It's so broken, it's so distraught.
So, yeah, even when you werementioning, like, the Pinterest thing,
like, I don't get Pinterest.
Like, I'm obviously old manstatus, but, like, your Pinterest
account is what blew up, like,millions of views a month.
And so I was like, oh, man.
Even as a dad, like, I didn'tunderstand, but it's probably programming
(09:55):
you for a certain aestheticand I gotta look a certain way.
And, you know, it's a lot of pressure.
There's so much pressure on women.
I mean, I've even seen that.
I just filmed a video theother day about how that pressure
can then, like, reflect ourwalk with the Lord.
Like how we suddenly feel likeyou have to have this perfect qu.
Quiet time and the prettycoffee and the perfect lighting and
the cute cozy outfit to havean encounter with the Lord.
(10:18):
And I'm like, sure, you can.
But, like, he just wants your heart.
He just wants you where you're at.
And so, yeah, I love thatwe're having this conversation because
there is so much pressure on women.
And ultimately that pressureis what sent me in my downward spiral.
I had everything that at thatpoint, a 27 year old could want.
I had the car, the townhome,the money, the bank account, the.
(10:40):
The men.
Right.
Dating apps.
I could get whoever I wanted.
But I was so just shattered inside.
And on social media, it cameoff as this girl who had her life
together, who had the following.
She had the engagement, shehad all of that.
But I was having panic attacksand anxiety attacks and depressed
behind the scenes and cryingevery night to sleep and just the
(11:03):
things that no one wanted totalk about.
So anyways, 2019, again, I wasin the fitness industry, had a very
successful business.
And unfortunately, with thingsthat happen like that, when you have
a following, and I'm sure youguys know this, you have some bad
apples, people that just don'tlike you.
I get it.
There's people we probably alldon't like, right?
(11:24):
Like, it's just part of being human.
But these people have justmade it their life's mission to,
you know.
And one way or another, therewas a prank pulled on me at a Los
Angeles fit expo in 2019.
And I didn't realize that this.
This guy was a massiveYouTuber, but he was, and he pulled
a prank on me.
(11:45):
Long story short, I was justhumiliated by the whole thing.
A week later, I get home andthat video goes live.
And it went viral.
And in a matter of 24 hours, Ilost my management, my team, collaborations,
my income, my business, myreputation, just friends, Everything
just.
It was like I was an onion.
(12:07):
And the Lord was just peelingback layer after layer to get to
my core.
And looking back now, I'mgrateful for that.
But in the moment, it neverfeels good to lose everything.
And I watched it just comecrumbling down.
And then the media storm came,and the media picked it up because
everyone wants to see aninfluencer fall.
Oh, yeah.
And I wasn't the monster theymade me out to be.
(12:30):
I was just a broken persontrying to make it in this world.
But the more it bleeds, themore it reads.
Yeah, come on.
And I Know, you guys havewitnessed that firsthand.
And so they just.
They did.
They.
They painted me out to be a monster.
Good Morning America, all theother, you know, news outlets.
And by two weeks in, afterCancel Culture had taken place, I
(12:52):
really.
I wasn't.
I wasn't leaving my house.
I've overcome three eating disorders.
I was relapsing at that pointinto my third.
Just not wanting to wake up,not wanting to sleep.
Just the darkest depression Ihad ever felt.
You could just feel theheaviness in my townhome at that
time.
There's just.
God was not there.
(13:13):
And I decided after readingtens of thousands of comments of
why don't you do us all afavor and jump off a bridge or make
this world a better place andput a gun to your head, I decided
they were right.
Because when you don't havethe Holy Spirit and you aren't walking
with the Lord, if it's notGod, it's the enemy.
And Valentine's Day of 2019, Ihad a plan to take my life.
(13:36):
And I had the text messageready to send my sister.
And I popped the cap off thepills and took my first handful.
And it's still, to this day, Ihave a really hard time putting it
into words.
What happened.
It was so supernatural.
It was the first time I hadever felt the Holy Spirit.
(13:57):
I just.
I got knocked down to myknees, and I was just like.
It was weird.
It wasn't like this heaviness.
It was just this presence wasso holy and so righteousness that
I just wanted to bow down.
And I laid on that floor forwhat could have been three hours,
four hours, five hours, Idon't know.
It didn't matter because I hadno agenda.
(14:17):
I had nothing left to live for.
And I just remember waves ofdeliverance, just what I now know
to be deliverance.
I had no idea what was goingon at the time.
Didn't even really know whatspiritual gifts were, but looking
back, it was just deliverance,Deliverance, deliverance.
And it was just waves of it.
And I came up off that floorfeeling more free than I had ever
(14:37):
felt from depression, anxiety.
It was just this overwhelmingpeace that if not God is still good.
And I didn't.
I woke up and I.
Or I came up from that, and Iwas so hungry for the Bible, which
was.
I had never craved that.
And I was just like, I need a Bible.
I need a Bible.
I remember grabbing my phoneand I couldn't get one there fast
enough.
Like, Amazon primed it.
(14:59):
And then with no agenda, like,the next month, two months, I literally
would just wake up in themornings and just saturate in God's
word and meditate on Scripture.
And it was a process of sanctification.
Like, I was not the same,Brittany, after that encounter.
But then even, like, monthsdown the road, people would be like,
(15:20):
you're not the same.
And I'm like, that's thepoint, right?
Yes.
And so just, like, lookingback at.
In my most broken moment, hestill met me and he still loved me,
and I wasn't too far gone.
And it's so easy to feel likeyou're thrown out when the headlines
(15:40):
are saying you're a monster,and the headlines are saying you're
a terrible person.
When God knows the truth andthe most broken people, the people
that are the furthest gone, hestill wants them, and he leaves the
99 for them.
So, yeah, sorry, that was kindof long winded.
No, no, that's amazing.
I'm trying to give you all theCliff Notes.
No, seriously, I'm trying notto breathe because I feel the presence
(16:00):
in the power of God so much.
Like, there's somebodywatching right now who's suicidal,
and they need deliverance.
They need that freedom.
There's somebody who's been tormented.
And whether it's like GoodMorning America or it's just the
people at work talking aboutyou, it feels the same because people
are like, well, I guess thisis who I am.
And I know.
I remember being.
I went from Mighty Mike, youknow, the guy that signs miracles,
(16:23):
wonders, praying for people,to an alcoholic.
And I'm separated from my wife.
And I remember, yeah, thepeople love to see other people fall
because it's like, what'seasier than actually climbing up
is just watching other peoplefall, you know?
And it's like, it makes themfeel like they accomplished something
because we fell and they.
They cheered on.
(16:44):
It's so sick.
Yeah.
Even in ministry.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
And so there's something sospecial about your story, because
it was, like, right in yourlowest moment.
That's where God met you atthat place.
Yeah.
And that's why I said Istarted this testimony video by saying
somebody's tapping into thisthinking, like, oh, it's just.
(17:04):
It's, you know, Papa Sigs,it's Mike Signorelli, it's Brittany
Dawn.
Like, I see Bella, but, like,right now, lives are actually being
saved.
I think there's a mandate onmy ministry to cancel suicide.
And so I know we're going togo a little bit deeper, but do you
want to Speak into that right now.
Because I feel like somebodyin this moment, because just knowing
(17:25):
how God works, they need tohear this right now.
So I just wanted to give youan opportunity.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm so passionate aboutwatching people break free from that.
Cause I experienced that firsthand.
I felt the heaviness, I feltthe darkness.
I felt the there's no hope.
The hopelessness.
Right.
Cause without Jesus, there isno hope.
He is our hope.
(17:46):
And I just.
Every time I've.
Cause Sheila's freed myministry, it pivoted to deliverance
ministry, too, about a yearand a half ago.
And I was like, whoa, what isgoing on?
Like, I felt so unequipped atthat time, you know?
And I was just like, I don'tknow what this is, but there have
been women that have comethrough, and they have also been
struggling with the spirit of suicide.
(18:06):
And I just love sitting with them.
And I'm like, I'm not leavingtill this is gone.
Like, in Jesus name.
And just sitting with them andloving them and watching the Holy
Spirit come in and work intheir heart.
I mean, you can see the shift.
Like, you just see it on theirface, on their body, the way they
carry themselves.
And again, it's hard for me toput into words what happened in my
(18:31):
kitchen in the middle of mysuicide attempt.
But what I know now is had Iknown how good his love is, how good
his mercy is, how rich it is,I never would have let myself get
to that point.
I would have turned from my sin.
And people think that sin is fun.
And it's like, well, Jesus is, too.
(18:53):
We were just talking aboutthis, like, living for the Lord,
like, that's the only way.
All these things of the worldthat we think will fill our cups,
that we think will quench our thirst.
It's only Jesus.
And that's what got me to thatplace, was just trying to put my
identity in the world and thepressures of everything, and just
knowing again how good he is.
(20:11):
I'm like, man, if I'd haveknown that, it would have saved me
so much.
Yeah, well.
And you know what it is, though?
The devil thrives in darkness,in hiddenness.
And that's always the lie ofthe enemy.
Like, you have to hide it.
You have to go through it alone.
What are people going to think?
And, you know, Bella, you werewith me as we traveled all around
the United States and everysingle night, this was like the original
(20:32):
Domino revival tour.
And I took our whole family,and I would get up there and I would
say, I don't care if you'rethe Sunday school worker.
You know that like with thekids ministry.
I don't care if you're on theworship team or on staff at a church.
If you've been like, dealingsecretly with suicide, come out of
hiding.
There's a whole section in thefilm which, that, I mean, it's going
(20:52):
to be back out again November13th, you know, so.
Yeah, and so, but.
But it's like I showed a lotof the different times where I was
confronting suicide and inreal time, people were getting free.
And it's like you, you know,you can go to church and that never
gets talked about.
Yes, you can go to church andnever gets exposed.
And you would think churchwould be the one place where you
(21:14):
could just be the mostvulnerable, but sometimes it's the
opposite.
It's like you gotta showeverybody that you have it going
on and, you know, so I don't know.
Is there anything that stuckout to you about the domino tour
and suicide and kind of seeingthe freedom happen in real time?
Yeah.
Well, just recently we had theDomino Revival Part 2 take place
at all of our locations and alot of the youth were really vulnerable.
(21:39):
Speaking up against eatingdisorders, just like your story,
A lot of them said they justrecently stopped.
So I want to ask you, what doyou have to say to the Gen Z watching
this live stream that arestruggling in that cycle of, oh,
I'm living my best life, youknow, I'm partying, I'm.
I'm.
But I'm.
But I'm slowly, like, decaying.
Like, I have these eating disorders.
So if you have anything toencourage them, like, out of it.
Yeah, yeah, that's so good.
(22:00):
I went through three, and thefirst one nearly put me in the hospital.
And they never got betterafter that.
It was just.
Everyone got worse and worseand it was truly.
It's hard.
Like, it's not just an eatingdisorder, it's also body dysmorphia,
because you're looking atyourself in the mirror and you're
picking yourself apart and yousee something that's not true and
(22:24):
that is demonic.
Like it's manipulating your vision.
And so just.
It was a process for me, itwas a sanctifying process.
The eating disorder.
Healing from that was probablyone of the last things to go.
I do believe that the Lord canheal in a moment.
But for me, that had 10 yearsof roots, that it just had to slowly
(22:46):
come up in me and the Lordjust waves of deliverance.
And also counseling, like,that was a game changer for me.
But being able to just sitwith the Lord.
And it all goes back to identity.
Like, are you gonna try to bewhat the world wants you to be?
Or are you gonna be who Godhas asked you to be and called you
(23:07):
to be?
And once you realize, like hesays, you're worthy, called, chosen,
loved, appointed, anointed,you're like, oh, that's what matters.
Like, I don't have to be asize double zero.
I actually just posted a videoabout this.
Like, you don't have to be asize double zero.
You can be any size, whateverGod wants you to be and still walk
in that calling and walk inthat authority.
(23:28):
And that pressure is you'renot here to please people, you're
here to please God.
And I think that ultimately iswhat set me free was like realizing
that.
And it doesn't make it easierbecause that pressure is around us
every single day.
But being able to say, butGod, like, but God, like, what does
(23:50):
he say that I am?
Who does he say that I am?
And it just, it shifts yourperspective and your vision.
Wow, that is so powerful.
I know that's going to reach,reach many through your testimony.
So thank you.
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah.
Did you see like, anyconnection between body dysmorphia,
the eating disorders, and suicide?
Yeah, because I think about,like, it's so hidden, right?
It's like you struggle with italone and you kind of adjust your
(24:12):
entire life to this hiddenthing and then.
But in, in a lot of ways as apastor, I see suicide as such a hidden,
closeted thing.
You know, when we were doingthe domino revival tour and I would
speak about suicide, I wouldliterally would have pastors daughters
come up to the front, bawlingtheir eyes out, snot coming out of
their face, saying, nobody knows.
(24:33):
And I think about, like,there's just something about the
hiddenness, right, where it'slike, nobody knows, but I don't know
if there's any connectionyou've seen.
Absolutely.
I lived by myself at theheight of my eating disorder, so
it was easy for me to hide.
And then I just masked thatwith, you know, if someone made a
comment on social media, youlook like you're getting a little
too thin.
I would mask it with fitness.
Like, oh, I'm just in thefitness industry.
(24:54):
I have to be right.
Like, that pressure to look acertain way.
But being in the shadowsbehind the scenes was so dark and
so lonely.
And there were so many momentswhere I was like, how long am I going
to struggle with this.
How long is food going tocontrol me?
How long am I going to pickmyself apart?
Like, I looked happy on theoutside and in photos and on social
(25:19):
media, but I was again,anxious, depressed, panic attacks,
like, just.
It was a vicious cycle behindthe scenes.
And so, yeah, I absolutely dothink that my eating disorders were
correlated with my suicidebecause it's a form of control.
And we know that asChristians, we're not called to control,
(25:40):
we're called to trust.
And having that.
It's a form of, well, if Ican't control this stuff, then I'm
going to control that.
And that's what it was for mebecause, again, my life was in shambles.
I was a divorcee at a young age.
I had all these other crazythings going on in my life, but I
could control that.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, you know, one of thedefinitions of witchcraft is manipulation,
(26:03):
intimidation, control.
And then the other thing is,as a pastor, unfortunately, I've
done too many suicide funerals.
And it's always the same.
It's like when they leaveletters behind or send text messages,
it's like, this is how thepain stops.
And it's like a form ofcontrol over the pain.
But.
But that's the lie of theenemy, because it doesn't stop the
(26:25):
pain.
Matter of fact, it's like theymay be gambling with stepping into
a greater pain if hell's onthe other side.
And I know that's like one ofmy top viewed videos is trying to
wrestle with, like, do you goto hell after suicide?
And so we will delve into thatin another video more.
I need to do a part two onthat one.
But then the other thing isyou distribute that pain to all your
(26:45):
family.
Yeah.
And so it's like, I never puttogether, like, it's control.
It's different forms ofcontrol, which I think would also
demonically be connected to a witchcraft.
Yes.
Because even the new age,like, what is new age?
I'm going to do these thingsto give myself back control.
You know, like, I'm going toburn sage to give myself back control
over this environment in my house.
(27:06):
Or, you know, I'm going tolearn my astrological sign so I can
get control over my future.
But it's false control.
Absolutely.
And so because I was trying,I'm trying to, like, learn through
this and learn through your life.
And I see, like, theconnections, because demonic spirits
work together, you know, andthey work in networks.
And so somebody would say,well, what does body dysmorphia and
an eating disorder have to do With.
(27:27):
With the new age.
And then I think you just,like, that was so rich.
Just control.
Yeah, well, and also, I'verealized, too, a revelation that
I had after that.
Once I was walking with theLord and just really reflecting on,
like, wow, God, you literallysaved my life.
Not just like, spiritually andeternally, but physically.
You saved my life.
(27:48):
He showed me, like, suicide isa very selfish thing.
And you just.
You just hit that becauseyou're leaving that pain with everyone
else.
And you're looking internal oflike, oh, well, I can solve this
for myself.
But you're not thinking aboutyour spouse, your parents, your family,
your kids, your friends, like,the people around you.
(28:09):
And for me, that was really,like, one of the reasons why I became
so passionate about seeingpeople break free from that.
Because I'm like, you don't understand.
There's so many people in yourlife that want to see you free from
this, but you have to have thecourage to speak out, and you have
to be able to say, hey, I'mstruggling with this.
I wish that I would have saidsomething, but.
(28:29):
But again, the Lord redeemedit, right?
Like, this is my testimony.
But I wish I would have hadsomeone in my life where I was like,
hey, I need a friend.
Like, I'm not okay.
And I think just being able tosay on this stream that it's okay
to ask for help, even as aChristian, like, there's no shame
in that.
The enemy will tell you that,because the enemy doesn't want to
(28:50):
see you set free from thespirit of suicide.
But being able to say, hey,I'm not okay.
I need help.
I need a counselor.
I need a doctor.
I need something.
Right?
Like, it's so important,because you won't hear that in a
church.
Churches, like you said, they just.
They don't go there.
They think that talking aboutthese things is dancing with the
darkness when it's actuallyexposing it, and it's not.
(29:12):
Yeah, it's not.
You're not dancing with it.
You're exposing it with light.
And we're called to do that asthe body of Christ.
Oh, that's so good.
Yeah.
Well, okay, so I'm gonna.
Belle, I don't know howvulnerable you want to get, but,
like, I know in our youthgroups, a lot of stuff got exposed,
like, a year or so ago.
And, like, even being in aculture where we talk about these
things and we.
You know, what does it takefor, like, a.
(29:34):
Like, Gen Z or a young personto get vulnerable?
Or, like, why do they not.
Like, if there's parents watching.
And I know there's so manyparents with teen kids that watch
my channel.
What would you say to them?
Like, how would you, how doyou, how do you bring that exposure?
Like, how do you help?
Well, I will say that Gen Z,we don't really want to hide.
We want it to be exposed.
(29:55):
Like, we don't want to it tobe behind the scenes.
We're, we're actually dyingfor you guys to come talk to us about
it.
You know, that's our real thought.
Like hiding behind a screen,it just feels so lonely, like you're
just scrolling for nothing.
And so like parents, if you'rewatching, like, go to your kids and
ask them, hey, how are you doing?
Like, how are you doing?
And just exposing that.
(30:16):
Like how we're saying, like,we want, we want those conversations
brought up.
We want to talk about it.
We don't want it to be hidden.
Like, hey, are you strugglingwith self harm?
(31:29):
Like, parents, don't be afraid.
You need to say it because,because I lost a friend to suicide
during pre pandemic 2019 and Iwould have never known.
I would have never known.
So exposing thoseconversations with your kids and
just friends, if you'rewatching, exposing those conversations,
even if you're not close withthat person, just bring it up.
It's the best thing you can doto save a life.
(31:51):
Wow.
Because yeah, I think it'slike parents might think, oh, my
teen needs like their own privacy.
But what you're saying islike, even if you say that, you don't
mean it.
Yeah.
It's true.
And sometimes it's notdeliverance, it's a conversation.
Sometimes it's like, I justneed to talk about it.
You know, it's.
You don't put your kid in deliverance.
Like, yeah, I'm a demon.
(32:11):
Thank you for saying that.
I want to.
I had a video go viral where Igot asked in front of 5,000 people.
You know that, that questionabout like, you know, what about
parents doing deliverance ontheir kids.
And I looked at that crowd andI was discerning, like so many of
you are just bad parents thatare trying to use deliverance to
fix your bad parenting.
(32:31):
And like, and, and nobodyexpected the answer for me because
I'm the dude casting demonsout everybody.
But like, you can't replacediscipline with deliverance.
Yeah.
You can't replace actualdevotion with deliverance.
And parents have to be good parents.
And so deliverance is a onetime event, but parenting is a lifetime.
Yeah.
And so like, thank you forsaying that.
(32:52):
I love that you also broughtup counseling.
Because I'm a big advocate.
And, you know, and that'ssomething that, again, I went through
deliverance.
I think about Mary Magdalene,though, because we got two.
Two ladies in the house.
I love Mary Magdalene, but she got.
Seven demons cast out of her.
But that wasn't the first andfinal step.
It was just the first step.
And she had to go through a process.
(33:14):
And so, like, for me, one ofthe most powerful things I went through
was having a counselor committo me, a man of God, who was also
an md, and say, I'm going totake you on a journey, Mike, and
I'm gonna help you get free.
Cause it's like whom the sun sets.
Free is free indeed.
And when I look at your life,I see free indeed.
And to me, free indeed is freefrom demons.
But then also the strongholdsthat they build in your mind, that's
(33:37):
free indeed.
Because you can get deliverance.
But then now you still have totear down all those strongholds.
So, like, okay, I wanna kindof jump into the next part.
Cause I feel the power of Godall over this, by the way.
Like, I mean, there's gonna behundreds of lives changed.
But then what started to happen?
Like, what's the turning point?
So supernatural encounter andthen what?
(33:59):
Yeah, so, like I mentioned, Ijust woke up, or woke up.
I got up from that floor and Ijust felt so hungry for the word
of God.
Ordered the Bible.
Spent just every day justsaturating in God's word, just consuming
it, the bread, like we're called.
And honestly saying that,like, that was the moment where I
(34:19):
went from milk to meat, whereGod really pulled me deeper.
And I got plugged in at UpperRoom Dallas, which I highly recommend
if you guys.
I got so many friends outthere, the DFW area.
They hit me up today.
Did they?
Oh, my gosh.
I love that.
Yeah.
Big fan of uprooting.
Yes.
Yes.
And it just.
It couldn't have been a betterplace for me to get plugged into
their prayer sets.
(34:39):
I would go and just sit andweep and hear from the Lord.
I was learning how to hearfrom God.
And, you know, I think peoplesay God's voice sounds like a big,
like, Brittany.
And I'm like, no, it actuallysounds like our voice.
That was a really bad, like,man impersonation under my throat.
Your husband is glad thatyou're bad at being a man.
He's like, giggling.
(35:00):
This is a good thing.
It would have been scary if itwas authentic.
That would have been a wholenother YouTube video.
It was like the most feminineman impersonation ever.
But I realized in that like I.
Went to meet, I went to the meat.
I'm like, okay, interesting.
(35:23):
But I was like, God's voicesounds like our voice and just.
But it points you.
It honors the Lord.
And so it was really learninghow to walk with him and what that
looks like and learning to sayno to things of the world.
Because, you know, I think theLord can absolutely break off everything
(35:43):
in one moment.
I fully believe that with mywhole heart.
But I think for some people,sanctification is a process like
I mentioned.
And for me it was the eatingdisorders and the sexual sin were
the last to go.
Everything else was almost immediate.
I've been panic attack freefor almost five years, which is like
only God.
Yeah.
And it was an every other dayoccurrence for me.
(36:06):
So there were so many thingsthat just in a moment were gone in
the name of Jesus.
But then there were otherthings that I was like, okay, this
is gonna be a walk in the parkwith the Lord and we're just gonna
yield to him.
And yeah.
So I think for me it was justlike learning to hear from God and
yield to that and trust thathis Holy Spirit would guide me and
trust that his ways are.
(36:26):
And when your flesh is like.
I read a quote on TikTokInstagram the other day and it was
the reason why our flesh wantsto sin so badly is cause our flesh
isn't going to eternity.
It dies here on this earth.
And so it doesn't care.
And it was that realizationof, like, my flesh doesn't have my
best interest in mind, but God does.
(36:47):
And so I'm gonna listen forhis voice.
And then getting baptized in the.
I believe I got the HolySpirit that moment on my kitchen
floor.
But I didn't get speaking intongues until actually like this
year actually, which is justso cool.
And it was one of those thingswhere it's like, there's some gifts
that you just.
You pray for and the Lord'sgonna give them to you.
And then there's some.
(37:07):
That's like, okay, we're gonnalike wait on this.
And that was me with speakingin tongues.
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
But then like, I mean,discernment just through the roof,
when I started walking withthe Lord, it was like, oh, that person
doesn't have my best interestin mind.
And like just watching that.
Yeah.
Watching that pruning takeplace in my life of removing people
that God, you have permissionto love from afar and setting those
(37:30):
boundaries, which I think issomething that can be a little.
(38:26):
Christians also don't talkabout a lot is boundaries.
But I think just from theBible I've read is Jesus also had
boundaries.
Like, he went away to be withthe Father, you know, in private.
And so being able to, like,implement those in your own life,
that's so good.
One of my top.
I think it's the top viewedvideo on my whole channel is why
God react removes people.
(38:47):
And it's all about boundaries.
I think it's almost close to 3million views or something.
But I'll link to that in thedescription because you're right,
we don't talk about that.
And you know what's funny isJesus did it all the time.
I mean, when he saw the crowdwas getting too big, he looked at
him and he said, okay, drinkmy blood and eat my flesh.
And they were like, this guy's crazy.
There's no way I could do that.
(39:08):
And he was intentionallyturning them away.
And I think as Christians, wehave to get that.
I call him Jehovah Sassy.
Wow, I love that.
And I'm like, we need JehovahSassy sometimes to be like, hey,
I need to prune these.
Like you said, I need to prune these.
Like, not everybody's my friend.
And somebody.
Some.
Some people like what I do for them.
Not.
(39:28):
They're not.
They're not really for me.
You just hit the nail on the head.
I think there's too manypeople that they.
They find a pastor, they findan influencer, someone that preaches
the gospel, and they run tothem more than they run to the Father.
That's it.
And I'm like, that's a problem.
Like, that's.
That's.
We are not your answer.
It's.
We're trying to, like, pointyour focus towards Jesus and that.
(39:49):
I love that you said that.
Well, Paul was like one of theOG influencers, and he said, follow
me as I follow Christ.
And so it's like, yeah, you're right.
Some people are leeches andthey don't want to build.
They're like blood suckers.
And I think it's likeChristians like, oh, I'm going to
be a bad person if I cut them off.
And it's like, no, you'regoing to be a better person, you
know, and teach them how totreat you.
(40:09):
Which is like a whole nothervideo we'll have to come back for.
Yeah, that's a whole thing in itself.
That's like a whole thing One of.
My friends says, they alwayssay, I can love you, but I don't
have to like you.
It's so true and loving from a distance.
So God's got you at, like, ahealthy local church.
Yes.
Like, you.
And I love the way you madethe distinction.
(40:29):
You had the indwelling of theHoly Spirit, but then he's been giving
you gifts.
The gift of tongues, the giftof discernment, which I love.
You got to be with me in Times Square.
You and your hubby were there,which I didn't even know.
And you saw hundreds of peoplereceive the gift of tongues, which
was amazing right there in NewYork City.
So beautiful, you know?
Cause, like, in moments likethat, in crowds, you're like.
(40:51):
When you activate and you'relike, okay.
Like, speaking your heavenlylanguage, it's like, okay, like.
And then all of a sudden, Ijust heard this, like, roar.
Almost like it was just everyone.
And I'm like, what is going on?
Like, it's just.
It was beautiful, and I'm so glad.
Yeah.
We got the notification rightas we're on the subway.
I'm like, babe, look, there'sa rev in Times Square.
So we dropped our bags realfast, and we got there as fast as
(41:11):
we could.
And it's just.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
And for as many times as thegifts of the Spirit have been abused,
Paul never said, well, don'tdo it anymore.
The epistles were written tobe like, well, here's how to do it.
And so it's like Acts 1:8says, after the Holy Spirit comes
upon you, you will receive power.
So it's like, tongues is,like, just another conduit for that
(41:31):
power.
Discernment's another conduitfor that power.
And just, like, sitting withyou, I'll tell you, like, the anointing
is strong in this room.
The glory of God's been herethe entire time.
Like, strong.
Matter of fact, like, peoplewho know me are probably like, he
was the quietest he's ever been.
Which is, like, the biggestcompliment to you, because there's
so many times where I'm like,don't mess the audio up.
She's making a legendary moment.
(41:53):
Like, right now, she'sministering to thousands of people.
Like, get out the way.
Tell Evan.
You know, running.
Don't even cut to me on the camera.
I'm not trying to ruin this.
But it's so funny hearing yousay that.
Cause I shared my Testimony onmy YouTube.
But when I was 16, right afterI gave my life to the Lord, I went
to a revival and I didn'tunderstand spiritual gifts at all.
(42:16):
And in a crowd of, like,hundreds of people, I was like this
little 16 year old, your age,super shy, super timid, like, painfully
shy.
Didn't even want to be, like,at the front.
I was at the very back.
And this pastor calls me outand he's pointing at me, and I'm,
like, looking around like, no,he's got the wrong girl.
He's like, yeah, I'm pointingat you.
And he confirmed it.
And he said, you're gonnaspeak to millions.
(42:38):
And I was like, yeah, no,like, that ain't for me.
That is not.
And then, like, looking now,I'm like, God, he picked me out.
Like, he had an anointing.
He had a calling in my life atsuch a young age.
Which is why I'm so excited tosee what the Lord does with you and
your generation, because youguys are so hungry.
(42:59):
And I've seen that, like, somany Gen Zers.
Is that how you say it?
Gen Z ers.
I'm a millennial, so I'm like,I don't even know that I think I'm
a millennial.
Millennial.
But, yeah, I just.
There's such a hunger.
And just watching God move inTimes Square the other night, I mean,
there were so many youngpeople there.
It's so beautiful to watch.
And then he's calling uppeople like you that are going to
(43:22):
lead your generation.
It's not just us and your dadand your mom.
It's you also.
And I can't wait to see whathe does.
Amen.
I mean, I'm excited.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
We had the whole youth groupcome out, and they're all on fire.
They're like, let's goevangelize in raising canes.
I'm like, oh, my gosh.
No, see, we need to.
Yeah.
If we lived here, I'd be like,let's go.
(43:42):
I'll go with you.
Because my husband is like,very security detail.
He's like, is that the best idea?
I'm like, holy Spirit goeswith us.
We're good.
He's logical.
I'm the wild one.
Yeah.
Well, we'll be in the back.
We'll just detail security detail.
Let y'all run.
I get overprotective dad mode,but I get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, like, I think that wouldbe the most spiritual thing to happen
(44:04):
in raising canes.
Amen.
I don't get it.
But the raising canes thing, Idon't get it.
But you Know, it's big inTexas, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, hey, like, I cannotthank you enough.
And what I want, I want mypeople in my YouTube and Instagram
Facebook world.
Facebook, where I'm the kingof Facebook.
(44:27):
I would love for them to findyou and get connected.
Like, what's the best.
Best way?
Yeah, my Instagram is real.
Britney dawn, and I can sendyou all the links for that.
And I'm on Facebook.
Ish.
Not to your level.
I just kind of.
Kind of.
We're like, casually posting.
Well, I mean, it's still a bigthing, though.
So I'm like, post there and.
(44:47):
And then YouTube.
Yeah, okay.
Definitely.
Yes.
I want you guys to subscribe.
I want you to follow.
And I'm sure after hearing herstory and just how she ministered,
you, you really need to, like,stay connected.
Cause you need, you know,these strong.
I love how God's raising upthese strong tribes, you know, so
it's like you kind of havethis tribe and.
But I love the fact thatthere's so much wisdom in the way
(45:09):
you minister, because it'slike, yes to deliverance, yes to
the gifts of the spirit, butyes to counseling.
You know, it's yes to thediscipline of, like, I love the fact
that you got up after thismiraculous healing testimony, and
then you're like, I want toread the Bible.
Was so hungry.
Yeah.
So it's like, we need that.
And.
And so God's going to continueto just raise you up.
And I just believe that thebest is yet to come.
(45:30):
I know it sounds like acliche, but here's the way that.
Here's the biblical way to say that.
That the latter will begreater than the former.
Wow.
And the Bible talks about thatthe latter rain.
And so, like, when I waspraying for you today, I was like,
lord, like, what do you havefor her?
And I just.
I kept getting that wordlatter rain.
Like the ladder will begreater than the former.
And so, yeah, I.
I just love to see it happen,you know, and when God.
(45:54):
When there's like an openheaven, you know, it's like, people
know my story.
Like, single mom, welfare,multiple abusive stepdads.
You don't just set up in TimesSquare and do an event that rivals
New Year's Eve.
You know, you don't do that,but it was like the favor of God.
And you carry that favorbecause you just say, yes, you're
(46:14):
the wild one.
That's what it is.
It's that unreserved.
Yes.
God can do so much with ourlittle yes.
And I've seen that in my life.
And, like, just.
I mean, watching you, like,reckless, abandoned, like, unreserved.
Yeah.
God will do it.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much forbeing with us.
Thank you for having me.
I want to steal your hubby.
We'll have to hang out more.
(46:34):
He's back there smiling like.
Yep, just made me.
Already got cold plunges setup and all kinds of stuff.
I'm going to abuse them, sendthem back.
Yeah.
But thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
Well, hey, we're here withBrittany dawn, and I am so excited.
We're gonna have a vulnerableconversation, and I want to make
sure that you stick aroundthrough the entirety of it, because
there's so many differentaspects of her testimony and her
story that are gonna become atestimony for you.
And that's why God does thingslike this.
I don't believe in accidents.
As a matter of fact, when youclicked in, there's these divine
(00:54):
appointments where you hearthe exact thing in the exact season
that you need to hear.
But I'm also joined with myteenage daughter.
Hey.
And so Bella is here as well.
So welcome, Brittany dawn, toNew York City.
Welcome to the underground studio.
This is so fun.
Any excuse to come to New York City.
(01:14):
Yes.
Yeah.
Now I just want to shout outyour husband as well.
He's a trooper.
He's off camera right now, butnew best friend.
It was instant.
Yeah, y'all did hit it offpretty quick.
Yeah, he's trying to findy'all gym equipment.
And also, I say y'all a lotbecause we're.
Yeah, yeah, please.
Yeah.
Well, we're half hillbilly, right?
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(01:36):
You test it out.
Y.
Y.
Love it.
The first thing that.
That we did when you got here,so just to tell the people watching
was gave.
Gave you an entire tour of thehouse without my wife's permission.
So probably in the commentssection, y'all are just roasting
me right now.
Like, how dare you disrespectJulie, the mother of the house.
(01:58):
But I had to.
I had to.
It was beautiful.
Yes.
And we were honored to be here.
Oh, yeah.
It's gonn.
Well, I know it's going tohelp so many people.
I'd love to just give you anopportunity to really tell your testimony.
I know that Bell's got somequestions as well, but.
Yeah, I just wanted to kind ofgive you, like, unfettered.
Like, don't worry about time.
(02:19):
Because it's just.
Especially because whetherit's male or female, I believe there's
so many in my world that aregetting to know you right now, but
also that are getting to hearyour story.
And so is there anything thatyou want to focus on in particular,
like.
Cause I wanna make sure.
Cause I know that you're ledby the Holy Spirit and you kind of
have that sense of, like, whathe wants you to say.
Yeah, there are.
(02:39):
I love that.
I definitely yield to the HolySpirit when I share my testimony.
Cause there are so manyaspects that could correlate with
so many different People, forme specifically today, I feel like
the Lord is wanting me tostart it when I was like a late teenager
and go into what happened inmy 20s.
Cause that was when I kind offell away from the.
From the Lord.
So I gave my life to Christwhen I was 16 and grew up in a Christian
(03:02):
household, but no one reallytold me what was to come after you
give your life to the Lord.
Spiritual warfare and just allof that.
Right.
That we know we're supposed toarmor up.
But I wasn't equipped becauseit was a Baptist church and so gave
my life to the Lord and thenjust kind of fell away a year later.
It was just attack afterattack after attack.
(03:22):
And it was underage drinkingand sexual sin and pornography and
just all the heaviness that,you know, teenagers can fall into.
And then in my 20s, thefitness industry, that's kind of
where I felt like I needed tosoak in a little bit.
It got ahold of me and I just.
I was young and broken and Ididn't understand identity.
(03:44):
I had no confidence.
Just all the.
It was the perfect storm forthe enemy to kind of come in and
start trying to plant seedsand plant lies and wasn't rooted
in God at this time becauseagain, I had fallen completely away.
Wow.
And just really startedfinding myself in the world with
eating disorders and underageagain, underage drinking and partying
(04:09):
and pornography at that pointhad really gotten a grip on me.
And sexual sin and then reallyjust dove into that headfirst.
Dropped out of college, builta successful business, and the business
took off like wildfire.
I had no idea what I was doingwith it because I was not a business
(04:31):
major in any sense.
But with that just came moreopen doors.
And it was like the enemy hadhanded me an apple and he was just
giving me everything that Icould possibly want.
So of course I'm like, yeah,this is like what I've dreamed of.
I'm 21 and I've got a boomingbusiness and I have the body, you
know, that every girl wants.
And the pressure of, you know,Pinterest like that Thinspo, Fitspo,
(04:53):
Fitspiration.
There's such a pressure, womenin today's, even still today's world.
And got married really young,just, you know, in sin, all of that.
By the time I was 26, I gotdivorced and got out of that by the
(05:14):
grace of God.
I won't go into that just tohonor my ex husband, but did get
out of that, moved to Dallas,which, you know, I was like a little
country Girl.
So I had never experienced thebig city.
And when I got to the bigcity, the enemy just really dug.
Sunk his teeth in even more.
I believe that every city hasa principality over it, and you can
(05:38):
feel the spiritual shift.
I mean, even when our planelanded here in New York City, I was
like, you can just feel thatwhen you're heightened and you're
walking in the spirit.
And so I wasn't aware of that,but in that brokenness of being a
divorcee at 26 and, you know,just being so hungry for identity
(05:58):
somewhere, somehow I justreally jumped off the deep end.
I was sleeping around, beingpromiscuous, using men, trying to
heal that wound in my heartthat the Lord should have been healing,
but instead I was trying to,you know, self heal and then just
really.
(06:18):
That's kind of when thedemonic realm started working in
my life.
Which, again, when you go to aSouthern Baptist church, you're not
really warned about that stuff.
Yeah, I started getting sleepparalysis constantly.
I mean, it was just likeencounters and just, you know, seeing
things in your room, andyou're like, that's not God, and
(06:41):
didn't have a Bible in my place.
So it's just like so many different.
So you would wake up and youwould physically feel like something
was on top of you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's one of my top viewedvideos is me teaching about how to
get free from sleep paralysis.
So you were experiencing that.
So at this point, was it likeyears into just, like, sin, living
for yourself, partying?
(07:02):
And then it started to accumulate.
And now all of a sudden, thedemonic realm is becoming more obvious
because that's such a commonthing where it's like, I think in
the beginning, Satan tries toconceal himself, and then it accumulates
where the devil's like, oh,they're in so deep.
I'm just coming out with it now.
Yeah.
Oh, it's so much so.
Yeah.
At this point, you know, it just.
(07:23):
My nothing about my home washonoring the Lord.
I was inviting witchcraft in,believing in astrology, like.
Yeah, not like the Ouija boardstuff, but, you know, the new age.
New age, yeah.
New age beliefs I was fully inand all of that.
And I just think it was theperfect storm for all of that.
So you were opening doors tothe devil?
Yes, like, in every direction.
(07:44):
It's so surreal because I feltlike you should be a part of this
conversation and just lookingacross the table and knowing that
you accepted Christ at 16, yousaid, and you're 16.
But then, like, on the otherside of that Your story is like you
were just years away fromstepping into all this brokenness
and all these situations.
And, like, there's a big partof me as a dad right now that's like,
(08:06):
oh, like, thank God for these conversations.
And.
And so you were telling me,because we were talking about this,
like, how much, like, her lifeand stories helped you as well.
How does it feel?
Just because I know we'regoing to keep going deeper into your
story.
How does it feel to hear that, though?
Like, knowing that you're thechurch girl?
You know, I always see my owndaughter on the front row worshiping.
(08:28):
Maybe somebody watching rightnow used to be that church girl.
And maybe they're in themiddle of the story that you're telling
now and this broadcast isgoing to bring them back to the father.
I sense that, like a prodigalrevival, like, returning.
And maybe they feel like they can't.
And, like, it's making me wantto cry already because I feel like
you're here, you're back.
(08:49):
I mean, you're reachingmillions of people with your life,
but then you're at thebeginning of the story and God's
trying to help you, like, nothave to go through that.
But how do you feel hearing this?
Yeah, I mean, theseconversations are so crucial.
Just like the vulnerability, vulnerability.
Vulnerability.
But they're so crucial to havebecause everybody is so scared to,
(09:12):
like, show their real self onsocial media.
It's all so fake and it's justnot real.
So this conversation thatwe're having today is so important
to many of the Gen Z and justyoung girls watching who.
Who want to be in the world.
And everything's fine on the surface.
I have this business.
Oh, I'm partying with my friends.
I'm having so much fun.
Just like your story, andeverything's fine.
(09:32):
Looking in, but in, you know,what's going on, it's just so.
It's so broken, it's so distraught.
So, yeah, even when you werementioning, like, the Pinterest thing,
like, I don't get Pinterest.
Like, I'm obviously old manstatus, but, like, your Pinterest
account is what blew up, like,millions of views a month.
And so I was like, oh, man.
Even as a dad, like, I didn'tunderstand, but it's probably programming
(09:55):
you for a certain aestheticand I gotta look a certain way.
And, you know, it's a lot of pressure.
There's so much pressure on women.
I mean, I've even seen that.
I just filmed a video theother day about how that pressure
can then, like, reflect ourwalk with the Lord.
Like how we suddenly feel likeyou have to have this perfect qu.
Quiet time and the prettycoffee and the perfect lighting and
the cute cozy outfit to havean encounter with the Lord.
(10:18):
And I'm like, sure, you can.
But, like, he just wants your heart.
He just wants you where you're at.
And so, yeah, I love thatwe're having this conversation because
there is so much pressure on women.
And ultimately that pressureis what sent me in my downward spiral.
I had everything that at thatpoint, a 27 year old could want.
I had the car, the townhome,the money, the bank account, the.
(10:40):
The men.
Right.
Dating apps.
I could get whoever I wanted.
But I was so just shattered inside.
And on social media, it cameoff as this girl who had her life
together, who had the following.
She had the engagement, shehad all of that.
But I was having panic attacksand anxiety attacks and depressed
behind the scenes and cryingevery night to sleep and just the
(11:03):
things that no one wanted totalk about.
So anyways, 2019, again, I wasin the fitness industry, had a very
successful business.
And unfortunately, with thingsthat happen like that, when you have
a following, and I'm sure youguys know this, you have some bad
apples, people that just don'tlike you.
I get it.
There's people we probably alldon't like, right?
(11:24):
Like, it's just part of being human.
But these people have justmade it their life's mission to,
you know.
And one way or another, therewas a prank pulled on me at a Los
Angeles fit expo in 2019.
And I didn't realize that this.
This guy was a massiveYouTuber, but he was, and he pulled
a prank on me.
(11:45):
Long story short, I was justhumiliated by the whole thing.
A week later, I get home andthat video goes live.
And it went viral.
And in a matter of 24 hours, Ilost my management, my team, collaborations,
my income, my business, myreputation, just friends, Everything
just.
It was like I was an onion.
(12:07):
And the Lord was just peelingback layer after layer to get to
my core.
And looking back now, I'mgrateful for that.
But in the moment, it neverfeels good to lose everything.
And I watched it just comecrumbling down.
And then the media storm came,and the media picked it up because
everyone wants to see aninfluencer fall.
Oh, yeah.
And I wasn't the monster theymade me out to be.
(12:30):
I was just a broken persontrying to make it in this world.
But the more it bleeds, themore it reads.
Yeah, come on.
And I Know, you guys havewitnessed that firsthand.
And so they just.
They did.
They.
They painted me out to be a monster.
Good Morning America, all theother, you know, news outlets.
And by two weeks in, afterCancel Culture had taken place, I
(12:52):
really.
I wasn't.
I wasn't leaving my house.
I've overcome three eating disorders.
I was relapsing at that pointinto my third.
Just not wanting to wake up,not wanting to sleep.
Just the darkest depression Ihad ever felt.
You could just feel theheaviness in my townhome at that
time.
There's just.
God was not there.
(13:13):
And I decided after readingtens of thousands of comments of
why don't you do us all afavor and jump off a bridge or make
this world a better place andput a gun to your head, I decided
they were right.
Because when you don't havethe Holy Spirit and you aren't walking
with the Lord, if it's notGod, it's the enemy.
And Valentine's Day of 2019, Ihad a plan to take my life.
(13:36):
And I had the text messageready to send my sister.
And I popped the cap off thepills and took my first handful.
And it's still, to this day, Ihave a really hard time putting it
into words.
What happened.
It was so supernatural.
It was the first time I hadever felt the Holy Spirit.
(13:57):
I just.
I got knocked down to myknees, and I was just like.
It was weird.
It wasn't like this heaviness.
It was just this presence wasso holy and so righteousness that
I just wanted to bow down.
And I laid on that floor forwhat could have been three hours,
four hours, five hours, Idon't know.
It didn't matter because I hadno agenda.
(14:17):
I had nothing left to live for.
And I just remember waves ofdeliverance, just what I now know
to be deliverance.
I had no idea what was goingon at the time.
Didn't even really know whatspiritual gifts were, but looking
back, it was just deliverance,Deliverance, deliverance.
And it was just waves of it.
And I came up off that floorfeeling more free than I had ever
(14:37):
felt from depression, anxiety.
It was just this overwhelmingpeace that if not God is still good.
And I didn't.
I woke up and I.
Or I came up from that, and Iwas so hungry for the Bible, which
was.
I had never craved that.
And I was just like, I need a Bible.
I need a Bible.
I remember grabbing my phoneand I couldn't get one there fast
enough.
Like, Amazon primed it.
(14:59):
And then with no agenda, like,the next month, two months, I literally
would just wake up in themornings and just saturate in God's
word and meditate on Scripture.
And it was a process of sanctification.
Like, I was not the same,Brittany, after that encounter.
But then even, like, monthsdown the road, people would be like,
(15:20):
you're not the same.
And I'm like, that's thepoint, right?
Yes.
And so just, like, lookingback at.
In my most broken moment, hestill met me and he still loved me,
and I wasn't too far gone.
And it's so easy to feel likeyou're thrown out when the headlines
(15:40):
are saying you're a monster,and the headlines are saying you're
a terrible person.
When God knows the truth andthe most broken people, the people
that are the furthest gone, hestill wants them, and he leaves the
99 for them.
So, yeah, sorry, that was kindof long winded.
No, no, that's amazing.
I'm trying to give you all theCliff Notes.
No, seriously, I'm trying notto breathe because I feel the presence
(16:00):
in the power of God so much.
Like, there's somebodywatching right now who's suicidal,
and they need deliverance.
They need that freedom.
There's somebody who's been tormented.
And whether it's like GoodMorning America or it's just the
people at work talking aboutyou, it feels the same because people
are like, well, I guess thisis who I am.
And I know.
I remember being.
I went from Mighty Mike, youknow, the guy that signs miracles,
(16:23):
wonders, praying for people,to an alcoholic.
And I'm separated from my wife.
And I remember, yeah, thepeople love to see other people fall
because it's like, what'seasier than actually climbing up
is just watching other peoplefall, you know?
And it's like, it makes themfeel like they accomplished something
because we fell and they.
They cheered on.
(16:44):
It's so sick.
Yeah.
Even in ministry.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
And so there's something sospecial about your story, because
it was, like, right in yourlowest moment.
That's where God met you atthat place.
Yeah.
And that's why I said Istarted this testimony video by saying
somebody's tapping into thisthinking, like, oh, it's just.
(17:04):
It's, you know, Papa Sigs,it's Mike Signorelli, it's Brittany
Dawn.
Like, I see Bella, but, like,right now, lives are actually being
saved.
I think there's a mandate onmy ministry to cancel suicide.
And so I know we're going togo a little bit deeper, but do you
want to Speak into that right now.
Because I feel like somebodyin this moment, because just knowing
(17:25):
how God works, they need tohear this right now.
So I just wanted to give youan opportunity.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm so passionate aboutwatching people break free from that.
Cause I experienced that firsthand.
I felt the heaviness, I feltthe darkness.
I felt the there's no hope.
The hopelessness.
Right.
Cause without Jesus, there isno hope.
He is our hope.
(17:46):
And I just.
Every time I've.
Cause Sheila's freed myministry, it pivoted to deliverance
ministry, too, about a yearand a half ago.
And I was like, whoa, what isgoing on?
Like, I felt so unequipped atthat time, you know?
And I was just like, I don'tknow what this is, but there have
been women that have comethrough, and they have also been
struggling with the spirit of suicide.
(18:06):
And I just love sitting with them.
And I'm like, I'm not leavingtill this is gone.
Like, in Jesus name.
And just sitting with them andloving them and watching the Holy
Spirit come in and work intheir heart.
I mean, you can see the shift.
Like, you just see it on theirface, on their body, the way they
carry themselves.
And again, it's hard for me toput into words what happened in my
(18:31):
kitchen in the middle of mysuicide attempt.
But what I know now is had Iknown how good his love is, how good
his mercy is, how rich it is,I never would have let myself get
to that point.
I would have turned from my sin.
And people think that sin is fun.
And it's like, well, Jesus is, too.
(18:53):
We were just talking aboutthis, like, living for the Lord,
like, that's the only way.
All these things of the worldthat we think will fill our cups,
that we think will quench our thirst.
It's only Jesus.
And that's what got me to thatplace, was just trying to put my
identity in the world and thepressures of everything, and just
knowing again how good he is.
(20:11):
I'm like, man, if I'd haveknown that, it would have saved me
so much.
Yeah, well.
And you know what it is, though?
The devil thrives in darkness,in hiddenness.
And that's always the lie ofthe enemy.
Like, you have to hide it.
You have to go through it alone.
What are people going to think?
And, you know, Bella, you werewith me as we traveled all around
the United States and everysingle night, this was like the original
(20:32):
Domino revival tour.
And I took our whole family,and I would get up there and I would
say, I don't care if you'rethe Sunday school worker.
You know that like with thekids ministry.
I don't care if you're on theworship team or on staff at a church.
If you've been like, dealingsecretly with suicide, come out of
hiding.
There's a whole section in thefilm which, that, I mean, it's going
(20:52):
to be back out again November13th, you know, so.
Yeah, and so, but.
But it's like I showed a lotof the different times where I was
confronting suicide and inreal time, people were getting free.
And it's like you, you know,you can go to church and that never
gets talked about.
Yes, you can go to church andnever gets exposed.
And you would think churchwould be the one place where you
(21:14):
could just be the mostvulnerable, but sometimes it's the
opposite.
It's like you gotta showeverybody that you have it going
on and, you know, so I don't know.
Is there anything that stuckout to you about the domino tour
and suicide and kind of seeingthe freedom happen in real time?
Yeah.
Well, just recently we had theDomino Revival Part 2 take place
at all of our locations and alot of the youth were really vulnerable.
(21:39):
Speaking up against eatingdisorders, just like your story,
A lot of them said they justrecently stopped.
So I want to ask you, what doyou have to say to the Gen Z watching
this live stream that arestruggling in that cycle of, oh,
I'm living my best life, youknow, I'm partying, I'm.
I'm.
But I'm.
But I'm slowly, like, decaying.
Like, I have these eating disorders.
So if you have anything toencourage them, like, out of it.
Yeah, yeah, that's so good.
(22:00):
I went through three, and thefirst one nearly put me in the hospital.
And they never got betterafter that.
It was just.
Everyone got worse and worseand it was truly.
It's hard.
Like, it's not just an eatingdisorder, it's also body dysmorphia,
because you're looking atyourself in the mirror and you're
picking yourself apart and yousee something that's not true and
(22:24):
that is demonic.
Like it's manipulating your vision.
And so just.
It was a process for me, itwas a sanctifying process.
The eating disorder.
Healing from that was probablyone of the last things to go.
I do believe that the Lord canheal in a moment.
But for me, that had 10 yearsof roots, that it just had to slowly
(22:46):
come up in me and the Lordjust waves of deliverance.
And also counseling, like,that was a game changer for me.
But being able to just sitwith the Lord.
And it all goes back to identity.
Like, are you gonna try to bewhat the world wants you to be?
Or are you gonna be who Godhas asked you to be and called you
(23:07):
to be?
And once you realize, like hesays, you're worthy, called, chosen,
loved, appointed, anointed,you're like, oh, that's what matters.
Like, I don't have to be asize double zero.
I actually just posted a videoabout this.
Like, you don't have to be asize double zero.
You can be any size, whateverGod wants you to be and still walk
in that calling and walk inthat authority.
(23:28):
And that pressure is you'renot here to please people, you're
here to please God.
And I think that ultimately iswhat set me free was like realizing
that.
And it doesn't make it easierbecause that pressure is around us
every single day.
But being able to say, butGod, like, but God, like, what does
(23:50):
he say that I am?
Who does he say that I am?
And it just, it shifts yourperspective and your vision.
Wow, that is so powerful.
I know that's going to reach,reach many through your testimony.
So thank you.
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah.
Did you see like, anyconnection between body dysmorphia,
the eating disorders, and suicide?
Yeah, because I think about,like, it's so hidden, right?
It's like you struggle with italone and you kind of adjust your
(24:12):
entire life to this hiddenthing and then.
But in, in a lot of ways as apastor, I see suicide as such a hidden,
closeted thing.
You know, when we were doingthe domino revival tour and I would
speak about suicide, I wouldliterally would have pastors daughters
come up to the front, bawlingtheir eyes out, snot coming out of
their face, saying, nobody knows.
(24:33):
And I think about, like,there's just something about the
hiddenness, right, where it'slike, nobody knows, but I don't know
if there's any connectionyou've seen.
Absolutely.
I lived by myself at theheight of my eating disorder, so
it was easy for me to hide.
And then I just masked thatwith, you know, if someone made a
comment on social media, youlook like you're getting a little
too thin.
I would mask it with fitness.
Like, oh, I'm just in thefitness industry.
(24:54):
I have to be right.
Like, that pressure to look acertain way.
But being in the shadowsbehind the scenes was so dark and
so lonely.
And there were so many momentswhere I was like, how long am I going
to struggle with this.
How long is food going tocontrol me?
How long am I going to pickmyself apart?
Like, I looked happy on theoutside and in photos and on social
(25:19):
media, but I was again,anxious, depressed, panic attacks,
like, just.
It was a vicious cycle behindthe scenes.
And so, yeah, I absolutely dothink that my eating disorders were
correlated with my suicidebecause it's a form of control.
And we know that asChristians, we're not called to control,
(25:40):
we're called to trust.
And having that.
It's a form of, well, if Ican't control this stuff, then I'm
going to control that.
And that's what it was for mebecause, again, my life was in shambles.
I was a divorcee at a young age.
I had all these other crazythings going on in my life, but I
could control that.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, you know, one of thedefinitions of witchcraft is manipulation,
(26:03):
intimidation, control.
And then the other thing is,as a pastor, unfortunately, I've
done too many suicide funerals.
And it's always the same.
It's like when they leaveletters behind or send text messages,
it's like, this is how thepain stops.
And it's like a form ofcontrol over the pain.
But.
But that's the lie of theenemy, because it doesn't stop the
(26:25):
pain.
Matter of fact, it's like theymay be gambling with stepping into
a greater pain if hell's onthe other side.
And I know that's like one ofmy top viewed videos is trying to
wrestle with, like, do you goto hell after suicide?
And so we will delve into thatin another video more.
I need to do a part two onthat one.
But then the other thing isyou distribute that pain to all your
(26:45):
family.
Yeah.
And so it's like, I never puttogether, like, it's control.
It's different forms ofcontrol, which I think would also
demonically be connected to a witchcraft.
Yes.
Because even the new age,like, what is new age?
I'm going to do these thingsto give myself back control.
You know, like, I'm going toburn sage to give myself back control
over this environment in my house.
(27:06):
Or, you know, I'm going tolearn my astrological sign so I can
get control over my future.
But it's false control.
Absolutely.
And so because I was trying,I'm trying to, like, learn through
this and learn through your life.
And I see, like, theconnections, because demonic spirits
work together, you know, andthey work in networks.
And so somebody would say,well, what does body dysmorphia and
an eating disorder have to do With.
(27:27):
With the new age.
And then I think you just,like, that was so rich.
Just control.
Yeah, well, and also, I'verealized, too, a revelation that
I had after that.
Once I was walking with theLord and just really reflecting on,
like, wow, God, you literallysaved my life.
Not just like, spiritually andeternally, but physically.
You saved my life.
(27:48):
He showed me, like, suicide isa very selfish thing.
And you just.
You just hit that becauseyou're leaving that pain with everyone
else.
And you're looking internal oflike, oh, well, I can solve this
for myself.
But you're not thinking aboutyour spouse, your parents, your family,
your kids, your friends, like,the people around you.
(28:09):
And for me, that was really,like, one of the reasons why I became
so passionate about seeingpeople break free from that.
Because I'm like, you don't understand.
There's so many people in yourlife that want to see you free from
this, but you have to have thecourage to speak out, and you have
to be able to say, hey, I'mstruggling with this.
I wish that I would have saidsomething, but.
(28:29):
But again, the Lord redeemedit, right?
Like, this is my testimony.
But I wish I would have hadsomeone in my life where I was like,
hey, I need a friend.
Like, I'm not okay.
And I think just being able tosay on this stream that it's okay
to ask for help, even as aChristian, like, there's no shame
in that.
The enemy will tell you that,because the enemy doesn't want to
(28:50):
see you set free from thespirit of suicide.
But being able to say, hey,I'm not okay.
I need help.
I need a counselor.
I need a doctor.
I need something.
Right?
Like, it's so important,because you won't hear that in a
church.
Churches, like you said, they just.
They don't go there.
They think that talking aboutthese things is dancing with the
darkness when it's actuallyexposing it, and it's not.
(29:12):
Yeah, it's not.
You're not dancing with it.
You're exposing it with light.
And we're called to do that asthe body of Christ.
Oh, that's so good.
Yeah.
Well, okay, so I'm gonna.
Belle, I don't know howvulnerable you want to get, but,
like, I know in our youthgroups, a lot of stuff got exposed,
like, a year or so ago.
And, like, even being in aculture where we talk about these
things and we.
You know, what does it takefor, like, a.
(29:34):
Like, Gen Z or a young personto get vulnerable?
Or, like, why do they not.
Like, if there's parents watching.
And I know there's so manyparents with teen kids that watch
my channel.
What would you say to them?
Like, how would you, how doyou, how do you bring that exposure?
Like, how do you help?
Well, I will say that Gen Z,we don't really want to hide.
We want it to be exposed.
(29:55):
Like, we don't want to it tobe behind the scenes.
We're, we're actually dyingfor you guys to come talk to us about
it.
You know, that's our real thought.
Like hiding behind a screen,it just feels so lonely, like you're
just scrolling for nothing.
And so like parents, if you'rewatching, like, go to your kids and
ask them, hey, how are you doing?
Like, how are you doing?
And just exposing that.
(30:16):
Like how we're saying, like,we want, we want those conversations
brought up.
We want to talk about it.
We don't want it to be hidden.
Like, hey, are you strugglingwith self harm?
(31:29):
Like, parents, don't be afraid.
You need to say it because,because I lost a friend to suicide
during pre pandemic 2019 and Iwould have never known.
I would have never known.
So exposing thoseconversations with your kids and
just friends, if you'rewatching, exposing those conversations,
even if you're not close withthat person, just bring it up.
It's the best thing you can doto save a life.
(31:51):
Wow.
Because yeah, I think it'slike parents might think, oh, my
teen needs like their own privacy.
But what you're saying islike, even if you say that, you don't
mean it.
Yeah.
It's true.
And sometimes it's notdeliverance, it's a conversation.
Sometimes it's like, I justneed to talk about it.
You know, it's.
You don't put your kid in deliverance.
Like, yeah, I'm a demon.
(32:11):
Thank you for saying that.
I want to.
I had a video go viral where Igot asked in front of 5,000 people.
You know that, that questionabout like, you know, what about
parents doing deliverance ontheir kids.
And I looked at that crowd andI was discerning, like so many of
you are just bad parents thatare trying to use deliverance to
fix your bad parenting.
(32:31):
And like, and, and nobodyexpected the answer for me because
I'm the dude casting demonsout everybody.
But like, you can't replacediscipline with deliverance.
Yeah.
You can't replace actualdevotion with deliverance.
And parents have to be good parents.
And so deliverance is a onetime event, but parenting is a lifetime.
Yeah.
And so like, thank you forsaying that.
(32:52):
I love that you also broughtup counseling.
Because I'm a big advocate.
And, you know, and that'ssomething that, again, I went through
deliverance.
I think about Mary Magdalene,though, because we got two.
Two ladies in the house.
I love Mary Magdalene, but she got.
Seven demons cast out of her.
But that wasn't the first andfinal step.
It was just the first step.
And she had to go through a process.
(33:14):
And so, like, for me, one ofthe most powerful things I went through
was having a counselor committo me, a man of God, who was also
an md, and say, I'm going totake you on a journey, Mike, and
I'm gonna help you get free.
Cause it's like whom the sun sets.
Free is free indeed.
And when I look at your life,I see free indeed.
And to me, free indeed is freefrom demons.
But then also the strongholdsthat they build in your mind, that's
(33:37):
free indeed.
Because you can get deliverance.
But then now you still have totear down all those strongholds.
So, like, okay, I wanna kindof jump into the next part.
Cause I feel the power of Godall over this, by the way.
Like, I mean, there's gonna behundreds of lives changed.
But then what started to happen?
Like, what's the turning point?
So supernatural encounter andthen what?
(33:59):
Yeah, so, like I mentioned, Ijust woke up, or woke up.
I got up from that floor and Ijust felt so hungry for the word
of God.
Ordered the Bible.
Spent just every day justsaturating in God's word, just consuming
it, the bread, like we're called.
And honestly saying that,like, that was the moment where I
(34:19):
went from milk to meat, whereGod really pulled me deeper.
And I got plugged in at UpperRoom Dallas, which I highly recommend
if you guys.
I got so many friends outthere, the DFW area.
They hit me up today.
Did they?
Oh, my gosh.
I love that.
Yeah.
Big fan of uprooting.
Yes.
Yes.
And it just.
It couldn't have been a betterplace for me to get plugged into
their prayer sets.
(34:39):
I would go and just sit andweep and hear from the Lord.
I was learning how to hearfrom God.
And, you know, I think peoplesay God's voice sounds like a big,
like, Brittany.
And I'm like, no, it actuallysounds like our voice.
That was a really bad, like,man impersonation under my throat.
Your husband is glad thatyou're bad at being a man.
He's like, giggling.
(35:00):
This is a good thing.
It would have been scary if itwas authentic.
That would have been a wholenother YouTube video.
It was like the most feminineman impersonation ever.
But I realized in that like I.
Went to meet, I went to the meat.
I'm like, okay, interesting.
(35:23):
But I was like, God's voicesounds like our voice and just.
But it points you.
It honors the Lord.
And so it was really learninghow to walk with him and what that
looks like and learning to sayno to things of the world.
Because, you know, I think theLord can absolutely break off everything
(35:43):
in one moment.
I fully believe that with mywhole heart.
But I think for some people,sanctification is a process like
I mentioned.
And for me it was the eatingdisorders and the sexual sin were
the last to go.
Everything else was almost immediate.
I've been panic attack freefor almost five years, which is like
only God.
Yeah.
And it was an every other dayoccurrence for me.
(36:06):
So there were so many thingsthat just in a moment were gone in
the name of Jesus.
But then there were otherthings that I was like, okay, this
is gonna be a walk in the parkwith the Lord and we're just gonna
yield to him.
And yeah.
So I think for me it was justlike learning to hear from God and
yield to that and trust thathis Holy Spirit would guide me and
trust that his ways are.
(36:26):
And when your flesh is like.
I read a quote on TikTokInstagram the other day and it was
the reason why our flesh wantsto sin so badly is cause our flesh
isn't going to eternity.
It dies here on this earth.
And so it doesn't care.
And it was that realizationof, like, my flesh doesn't have my
best interest in mind, but God does.
(36:47):
And so I'm gonna listen forhis voice.
And then getting baptized in the.
I believe I got the HolySpirit that moment on my kitchen
floor.
But I didn't get speaking intongues until actually like this
year actually, which is justso cool.
And it was one of those thingswhere it's like, there's some gifts
that you just.
You pray for and the Lord'sgonna give them to you.
And then there's some.
(37:07):
That's like, okay, we're gonnalike wait on this.
And that was me with speakingin tongues.
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
But then like, I mean,discernment just through the roof,
when I started walking withthe Lord, it was like, oh, that person
doesn't have my best interestin mind.
And like just watching that.
Yeah.
Watching that pruning takeplace in my life of removing people
that God, you have permissionto love from afar and setting those
(37:30):
boundaries, which I think issomething that can be a little.
(38:26):
Christians also don't talkabout a lot is boundaries.
But I think just from theBible I've read is Jesus also had
boundaries.
Like, he went away to be withthe Father, you know, in private.
And so being able to, like,implement those in your own life,
that's so good.
One of my top.
I think it's the top viewedvideo on my whole channel is why
God react removes people.
(38:47):
And it's all about boundaries.
I think it's almost close to 3million views or something.
But I'll link to that in thedescription because you're right,
we don't talk about that.
And you know what's funny isJesus did it all the time.
I mean, when he saw the crowdwas getting too big, he looked at
him and he said, okay, drinkmy blood and eat my flesh.
And they were like, this guy's crazy.
There's no way I could do that.
(39:08):
And he was intentionallyturning them away.
And I think as Christians, wehave to get that.
I call him Jehovah Sassy.
Wow, I love that.
And I'm like, we need JehovahSassy sometimes to be like, hey,
I need to prune these.
Like you said, I need to prune these.
Like, not everybody's my friend.
And somebody.
Some.
Some people like what I do for them.
Not.
(39:28):
They're not.
They're not really for me.
You just hit the nail on the head.
I think there's too manypeople that they.
They find a pastor, they findan influencer, someone that preaches
the gospel, and they run tothem more than they run to the Father.
That's it.
And I'm like, that's a problem.
Like, that's.
That's.
We are not your answer.
It's.
We're trying to, like, pointyour focus towards Jesus and that.
(39:49):
I love that you said that.
Well, Paul was like one of theOG influencers, and he said, follow
me as I follow Christ.
And so it's like, yeah, you're right.
Some people are leeches andthey don't want to build.
They're like blood suckers.
And I think it's likeChristians like, oh, I'm going to
be a bad person if I cut them off.
And it's like, no, you'regoing to be a better person, you
know, and teach them how totreat you.
(40:09):
Which is like a whole nothervideo we'll have to come back for.
Yeah, that's a whole thing in itself.
That's like a whole thing One of.
My friends says, they alwayssay, I can love you, but I don't
have to like you.
It's so true and loving from a distance.
So God's got you at, like, ahealthy local church.
Yes.
Like, you.
And I love the way you madethe distinction.
(40:29):
You had the indwelling of theHoly Spirit, but then he's been giving
you gifts.
The gift of tongues, the giftof discernment, which I love.
You got to be with me in Times Square.
You and your hubby were there,which I didn't even know.
And you saw hundreds of peoplereceive the gift of tongues, which
was amazing right there in NewYork City.
So beautiful, you know?
Cause, like, in moments likethat, in crowds, you're like.
(40:51):
When you activate and you'relike, okay.
Like, speaking your heavenlylanguage, it's like, okay, like.
And then all of a sudden, Ijust heard this, like, roar.
Almost like it was just everyone.
And I'm like, what is going on?
Like, it's just.
It was beautiful, and I'm so glad.
Yeah.
We got the notification rightas we're on the subway.
I'm like, babe, look, there'sa rev in Times Square.
So we dropped our bags realfast, and we got there as fast as
(41:11):
we could.
And it's just.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
And for as many times as thegifts of the Spirit have been abused,
Paul never said, well, don'tdo it anymore.
The epistles were written tobe like, well, here's how to do it.
And so it's like Acts 1:8says, after the Holy Spirit comes
upon you, you will receive power.
So it's like, tongues is,like, just another conduit for that
(41:31):
power.
Discernment's another conduitfor that power.
And just, like, sitting withyou, I'll tell you, like, the anointing
is strong in this room.
The glory of God's been herethe entire time.
Like, strong.
Matter of fact, like, peoplewho know me are probably like, he
was the quietest he's ever been.
Which is, like, the biggestcompliment to you, because there's
so many times where I'm like,don't mess the audio up.
She's making a legendary moment.
(41:53):
Like, right now, she'sministering to thousands of people.
Like, get out the way.
Tell Evan.
You know, running.
Don't even cut to me on the camera.
I'm not trying to ruin this.
But it's so funny hearing yousay that.
Cause I shared my Testimony onmy YouTube.
But when I was 16, right afterI gave my life to the Lord, I went
to a revival and I didn'tunderstand spiritual gifts at all.
(42:16):
And in a crowd of, like,hundreds of people, I was like this
little 16 year old, your age,super shy, super timid, like, painfully
shy.
Didn't even want to be, like,at the front.
I was at the very back.
And this pastor calls me outand he's pointing at me, and I'm,
like, looking around like, no,he's got the wrong girl.
He's like, yeah, I'm pointingat you.
And he confirmed it.
And he said, you're gonnaspeak to millions.
(42:38):
And I was like, yeah, no,like, that ain't for me.
That is not.
And then, like, looking now,I'm like, God, he picked me out.
Like, he had an anointing.
He had a calling in my life atsuch a young age.
Which is why I'm so excited tosee what the Lord does with you and
your generation, because youguys are so hungry.
(42:59):
And I've seen that, like, somany Gen Zers.
Is that how you say it?
Gen Z ers.
I'm a millennial, so I'm like,I don't even know that I think I'm
a millennial.
Millennial.
But, yeah, I just.
There's such a hunger.
And just watching God move inTimes Square the other night, I mean,
there were so many youngpeople there.
It's so beautiful to watch.
And then he's calling uppeople like you that are going to
(43:22):
lead your generation.
It's not just us and your dadand your mom.
It's you also.
And I can't wait to see whathe does.
Amen.
I mean, I'm excited.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
We had the whole youth groupcome out, and they're all on fire.
They're like, let's goevangelize in raising canes.
I'm like, oh, my gosh.
No, see, we need to.
Yeah.
If we lived here, I'd be like,let's go.
(43:42):
I'll go with you.
Because my husband is like,very security detail.
He's like, is that the best idea?
I'm like, holy Spirit goeswith us.
We're good.
He's logical.
I'm the wild one.
Yeah.
Well, we'll be in the back.
We'll just detail security detail.
Let y'all run.
I get overprotective dad mode,but I get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, like, I think that wouldbe the most spiritual thing to happen
(44:04):
in raising canes.
Amen.
I don't get it.
But the raising canes thing, Idon't get it.
But you Know, it's big inTexas, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, hey, like, I cannotthank you enough.
And what I want, I want mypeople in my YouTube and Instagram
Facebook world.
Facebook, where I'm the kingof Facebook.
(44:27):
I would love for them to findyou and get connected.
Like, what's the best.
Best way?
Yeah, my Instagram is real.
Britney dawn, and I can sendyou all the links for that.
And I'm on Facebook.
Ish.
Not to your level.
I just kind of.
Kind of.
We're like, casually posting.
Well, I mean, it's still a bigthing, though.
So I'm like, post there and.
(44:47):
And then YouTube.
Yeah, okay.
Definitely.
Yes.
I want you guys to subscribe.
I want you to follow.
And I'm sure after hearing herstory and just how she ministered,
you, you really need to, like,stay connected.
Cause you need, you know,these strong.
I love how God's raising upthese strong tribes, you know, so
it's like you kind of havethis tribe and.
But I love the fact thatthere's so much wisdom in the way
(45:09):
you minister, because it'slike, yes to deliverance, yes to
the gifts of the spirit, butyes to counseling.
You know, it's yes to thediscipline of, like, I love the fact
that you got up after thismiraculous healing testimony, and
then you're like, I want toread the Bible.
Was so hungry.
Yeah.
So it's like, we need that.
And.
And so God's going to continueto just raise you up.
And I just believe that thebest is yet to come.
(45:30):
I know it sounds like acliche, but here's the way that.
Here's the biblical way to say that.
That the latter will begreater than the former.
Wow.
And the Bible talks about thatthe latter rain.
And so, like, when I waspraying for you today, I was like,
lord, like, what do you havefor her?
And I just.
I kept getting that wordlatter rain.
Like the ladder will begreater than the former.
And so, yeah, I.
I just love to see it happen,you know, and when God.
(45:54):
When there's like an openheaven, you know, it's like, people
know my story.
Like, single mom, welfare,multiple abusive stepdads.
You don't just set up in TimesSquare and do an event that rivals
New Year's Eve.
You know, you don't do that,but it was like the favor of God.
And you carry that favorbecause you just say, yes, you're
(46:14):
the wild one.
That's what it is.
It's that unreserved.
Yes.
God can do so much with ourlittle yes.
And I've seen that in my life.
And, like, just.
I mean, watching you, like,reckless, abandoned, like, unreserved.
Yeah.
God will do it.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much forbeing with us.
Thank you for having me.
I want to steal your hubby.
We'll have to hang out more.
(46:34):
He's back there smiling like.
Yep, just made me.
Already got cold plunges setup and all kinds of stuff.
I'm going to abuse them, sendthem back.
Yeah.
But thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
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