Real Talk with Karyn Elle: Grubhub Disasters & Relationship Insights!

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Styles (00:02):
You are now rocking with a brunch hour podcast, the best
hour of the day.
It's the only podcast I listento.
With your host Styles, i likemy hair Red, bone, flat, yellow.

Sound Bite (00:16):
Light skin Yellow.
I stop.

Styles (00:19):
Hello, all right, so check it out.
Whoa, let me not be rudeSalutations.
All right, so check it out.
Storytime, real quick.
Grubhub, fuck you.
I need to stop cursing, cuz Idon't know whether it's in the
morning, the afternoon, whatever.
Anyway, grubhub, fu.
So I ordered some food fromGrubhub the other day.

(00:40):
My man put me onto the soulfulspot.
He was like yo, you need tocheck it out, but I'll buy this,
that and the third.
I'm getting hungry justthinking about it right now.
But I ordered the food $30.
Food Service fee, tip,everything 30.
All in, i'm there.
They were like yo, it's gonnatake about an hour for it to get

(01:02):
there.
I'm good with that.
I've learned my lesson.
You know, don't order the shitwhen you're hungry because
you'll fucking starve to death,right?
So I, and now it was nothing aslight.

Segment break (01:11):
I'll do that shit on my head.

Styles (01:14):
I checked the app about an hour.
It was a little more than anhour, but I checked the app And
the app's, like you know, um,such and such place is actually
taking care of the delivery Notnecessarily grubbub, but them.
So I'm like all right, cool.
But it still says that it'slike preparing the meal.
I know if you I don't know ifyou guys are familiar, but the

(01:34):
shit will still.
It won't say that it's like adelivery person or the way to
pick it up or anything like that.
It'll just say, still, likethey just received the order.
So I'm cool with it, whatever.
15 minutes later, um, i get apop up.
It says has your food arrived?
And I'm like nah.
So I hit no And it was likewhat call a restaurant?

(01:56):
Now, this is where I started toget aggy, because it's kind of
like it defeats the purpose ofme ordering the shit through a
fucking app.
If I got to call a restaurantto find out where my food is,
right, fucking, i'll call arestaurant.
Phone rings about a billiontimes and then it just hangs up.

(02:17):
So then I go into the help appon Grubhub and I'm like yo, this
and this and this is going on.
They're like hold on one secondsir.
I'm going to go and check andI'm going to call the restaurant
.
They call the restaurant, samething Comes back.
They're like listen, i couldcancel it or do you want to wait
?
All right.
So at this point it's beenabout, i want to say like two

(02:41):
hours from the initial time thatI actually ordered the food,
two hours.
So I'm like what's theramifications if I cancel it?
Because now at this point I'mlike yo, i've got this, got to
be like some perks or somethingyou know, because I'm starving.
At this point I am hungry.
So they come back and they werelike yeah, we'll send you a,

(03:01):
we'll definitely send you acredit, along with, you know,
your money.
Of course, you're going to sendmy bread back, but we'll send
you a credit.
Check your email.
I should have asked for, youknow the, the, the nomination
use your word styles, thenomination of the credit before
I let the person go.
But I didn't do that.
I figured, you know it'd besomething healthy, got off of it

(03:23):
.
I went and I checked it and gotmy bread back and they sent me
a fucking coupon for $5.
Now I don't know if you guyshave ever looked at the line
items on the fucking on Grubhubor any other food delivery
service, but this service fee isabout five bucks.

(03:44):
So, like the next time that Iorder food, the truth discount
basically I guess, applies tothe service fee.
Right, and I know a lot ofpeople out there shaking their
heads like yo, you should justgo get it Or, you know, call and
pick it up and have you knowwhatever call the restaurant
direct as opposed to the appRight.
One thing you have tounderstand about me We think

(04:08):
y'all niggas do.

Sound Bite (04:09):
I don't do.
I do the other thing,everything.
Y'all niggas go across thestreet that way I'm going up.
I'll let you boy.
I do other things.
I don't do what y'all niggas do.
I don't do what niggas do.
I don't watch niggas money, idon't care, i just do what I do.

Styles (04:23):
I need the girl to fuck up, just not today.
Not today.
Yo, let's get to the show.

Sound Bite (04:32):
I used to be in love with this bitch.
They mean J The fuck with her.
no more.
now I fuck with Tango Ray,tango Ray.

Karyn Elle (04:38):
Hey yo, what's up?
Do we need two shots, Two shots.

Sound Bite (04:44):
It's a combo.

Styles (04:47):
All right, so I don't know about y'all, but um, yeah,
if you stuck with me throughthat four minute monologue, i
love you.
I love you Because I pre-recordthem shits and then do what I
do, and I sat here and Ilistened to it.
I'm like your styles.
You tell the worst fuckingstories on planet Earth, so best
believe anything after this.

(05:08):
You only get in two sentences.
But listen, i have the homiewith me tonight.
I touched down in New York,y'all.
I got Karen L From say it loudpodcast.
Karen, how are you?

Karyn Elle (05:26):
I'm good.
How are you What up?

Styles (05:28):
Chilling, chilling Back.
Then you know, the New York fitit, but I'll take the brand.

Karyn Elle (05:34):
You got to take the brand man.

Styles (05:35):
I'll take the brand.

Karyn Elle (05:37):
I have a couple fittings though.

Styles (05:38):
No, I know Because I saw them in pictures, Like we was
doing the whole thing.
I was like oh so she gonna showup with the fitted.

Karyn Elle (05:44):
Yeah, because I don't go outside with a bonnet.

Styles (05:47):
All right.

Listen, you know, no, no, no, no.

Styles (05:52):
Because everybody you know gets me giggly and shit,
i'm not giggling tonight.

Karyn Elle (05:57):
Okay, we're not giggling tonight.
What?

Styles (05:59):
you drinking ladies first, what you doing with some
of that I'm drinking vodka andcramp pineapple.
Okay, yeah, well, for everybodyelse, listen, i am drinking.
What am I drinking?
I am drinking vodka and orangejuice, right.
And then it came in this littlestupid container, right?

(06:21):
So when it container, basicallyit's supposed to be peach.
There's nothing peach about it,nothing peach about it.
I'm only trying to plug in mylaptop.
Anyway, nothing peach about it.
They got me for like um $4 abottle.

Karyn Elle (06:42):
Does it take?

Styles (06:46):
No, this shit gonna have me leaning for sure, but it
doesn't.
It's not peach and I have vodkain the crib.
I could have just bought orangejuice, right.
So I'm like searching forsomething because I didn't want
to make a mixed drink.
Now I was like, oh, this iscool, let me just go grab this
real quick for that.

No, this right here though $4.

Styles (07:10):
Do you understand that, with what I was, would have
bought me a card in the orangejuice and I would have had 7, 8,
9 of these?

Karyn Elle (07:15):
mm-hmm, and I probably would have taste better
.

Styles (07:19):
Oh, definitely that.
Why I mean I wouldn't be ableto do a podcast, not tonight,
not tonight.
Tell the people a little bitabout your podcast, though.

Karyn Elle (07:29):
My name is Karen L.
I am the voice of safe loudpodcast.
My podcast is basically Mesaying whatever the hell I want,
and that's it.
We talk about everything fromraising kids to things people
are doing in the community, tosex and relationships, to Me
just venting about men and womenand how we are in just this

(07:52):
life.
I just, yeah, we just.
It's basically We just having agood time because we not here
for a long time, that's it.

Styles (08:00):
You're not gonna talk about morning motivation.

Karyn Elle (08:03):
I do okay, but that's not the podcast per se.
Every morning.

Styles (08:07):
It's part of it every morning.

Karyn Elle (08:09):
I'm on Instagram on Monday through Fridays when we
don't have school, when we haveschool, and I give morning
motivation every morning towhoever's listening, because I
feel like I Needed motivation.
I was telling you this.
I felt like I needed motivation, but it was hard for me to take
motivation from people thatweren't like me.
That made it sound like Like Ilived in a bubble and it wasn't

(08:32):
real.
So this is like real life, realtalk, real K morning motivation
in a way that makes people wantto puff out their chest and put
some pep in they step okay.

Styles (08:43):
So I'm assuming an example of that is like yo, get
the fuck out the bed, becausethat's how my motivation starts.
You know what I'm saying?
like yo, you need to pay yourfucking rent, we need to get up.
Give me, give me, like yourbest, 60 second morning
motivation.
Of motivation 60 seconds 60seconds.

Karyn Elle (09:04):
If there are snakes in your life and People who are
robbing you of your energy, theyare still thieves and you can't
have thieves in your home.
So you got to learn to see whothose people are, understand who
they are and what they are toyou, and then take the steps you
need to to get them out of yourlife.

(09:24):
You got to understand who issucking and draining the energy
out of you so that you could bea better person, because you
can't control them.
You can only control what youdo and how you feel.
So you got I tell people allthe time my It's 82 and sunny.
Where I am, it's always 82 andsunny because I Take care of the
temperature over here.
I'm moderated, i make sureeverything chillin.

(09:46):
So if you want a life that'schilling and that peace and 82
and sunny, then you got a watchwho's coming in and who's going
out.
That's your motivation fortoday.

Styles (09:55):
Amen, I feel like I just stumbled into the kitchen After
school, but I'm in high school.
Yeah, because that's the typeof shit that my mother would
tell me.
Yeah right in that tone, inthat language, yeah, that type
of shit.
So I get it.
When you was talking about yo,i'm not relating to Sonny Susan,
no, talking about I need to dothis and I need to do that.

Karyn Elle (10:18):
No, i like sunny Susan, but sunny Susan don't
work for somebody like me whocomes from a different
environment and see a differentkind of Life and different like.
I don't gravitate to whatyou're saying.
I don't.
I don't understand the wordsthat are coming out your mouth.
I need someone to tell it to meas real as possible, and so
that's what I do.
I get up there every morningand I give people some more than
motivation so they can feelgood about themselves, but in a

(10:40):
way where it's like yo, i could,i could understand, i could
resonate with that, i could, ithink what she's saying people
be listening to.
I Mean as they should yeah, no,cuz I used to think people don't
want to be motivated.
It should be like now nobodywants to hear motivation.
For who and why, would youthink?
I don't know, cuz every rapsong ain't about motivation.

(11:01):
Every You know TV show ain'tabout motivation.
So for a woman like me to betalking about motivation is like
what she talking about, but thepeople really be listening and
then some on, is they be likeokay, i needed to hear that
today And I just be like okay,well, you got it.

Styles (11:17):
If you needed somebody to tell you, that's what I'm
gonna do, Doing guys work, cuz Idefinitely have caught a couple
of them, you know, and I wasn't, you know, disappointed.
If you wasn't on the 730 in themorning I probably would catch
more.

Karyn Elle (11:30):
Yeah, 730s motivation time man.

Styles (11:34):
Not for you.

Karyn Elle (11:36):
The birds are chirping.
Let's go Go.

Styles (11:46):
Um, all right, so it's time to put you on a hot seat
not the hot seat, so to speak,but you know What borrow you
born in.
That's not part of the questionall Bronx.

Karyn Elle (11:59):
I was born in Bronx Lebanon hospital on a great
concourse.

Styles (12:03):
Oh.

Karyn Elle (12:04):
OK, ok Yeah, it's a detrain.

Styles (12:07):
Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is the scariest
borough out of all the boroughs.
I mean Right, no, no, no, youguys, take that shit hands down
You can have that.

Karyn Elle (12:19):
You know you can have that.
Nobody else wants that.

Styles (12:22):
Right In the 80s and 90s it was Brooklyn.
Y'all can have that, you know.
Yeah, all right, so let's getto this shit.
So first one text call orFaceTime What's your preference?

Karyn Elle (12:34):
Definitely text.
Why Don't call me?
I don't like to talk on thephone.
The only time I talk on thephone is if I'm in the car
driving somewhere, because I gotBluetooth and I'm bored, But
outside of that, like in thehouse and stuff like that.
I don't be Jonesing on thephone.
I'm not like that type of girlAnd FaceTime.
you got to make an appointment.
No, i'm serious.

Styles (12:57):
When I put together all of these clips about the whole
FaceTime thing, you got to makean appointment.

Karyn Elle (13:02):
No, you got to make an appointment to FaceTime me
because I'd be walking aroundthe house sometimes looking like
my son, little brother, y'allcan't be FaceTimeing me off
guard like that.

Sound Bite (13:12):
Yeah, he bigger than me.

So like you can't .

Karyn Elle (13:15):
you know, i don't know when the phone ring what
you going to see on the otherend if I answer a FaceTime Like
I don't know what you're goingto get.
So yeah, just make anappointment.

Styles (13:26):
Copy that.
All right, so I already knowthe answer to this Shoot, your
shot of chilling the cut.

Karyn Elle (13:32):
Um, i don't.
How do you know the answer?
and I don't.

Styles (13:35):
Nah, nah, just answer the question.

Karyn Elle (13:39):
Am I more of a shoot your shot type or a chill, i
didn't ask you to break thequestion down.

Styles (13:43):
Look at you, i'm just shot.
You're trying to buy time.
Listen, it's self-explanatory.

Karyn Elle (13:48):
You already know what it is.
Shoot your shot, shoot yourshot.

Styles (13:51):
Of course, see, I told you I already knew it, shoot
your shot.
Yeah, it's the borrow Um BlackMovies, the gangster edition.

Karyn Elle (14:02):
Okay.

Styles (14:02):
Okay, yeah, i started to give you the girly shit, but
then I was like nah.

Karyn Elle (14:06):
It's caring how Nah.

Styles (14:08):
I'm not going to suspect you like that.

Karyn Elle (14:10):
Right.

Styles (14:10):
Dead Presidents Peyton, Foll or Belly.

Karyn Elle (14:14):
Um, it's definitely between Belly and Peyton Foll.
Which one got Keisha?

Styles (14:21):
Uh Belly.

Karyn Elle (14:22):
Yeah, Then then just No.

Styles (14:25):
No, no, no, no, no, it's Peyton Foll.

Karyn Elle (14:28):
Okay, then it's Belly.
No, it's like Keisha is not inPeyton Foll.
Okay, then.

Styles (14:32):
It's Belly for sure.

Karyn Elle (14:33):
All right, then it's Belly.

Styles (14:37):
I'm going to have to fucking research that tonight.

Karyn Elle (14:39):
Thank you, Yeah, me too.

Styles (14:41):
Hey go, hey go go.
No, no, keisha is definitely inBelly.
Okay, I believe you, she's forsure in Belly.
I believe you, yeah, becausethat's who DMX was fucking.
No, i don't know, no.

Karyn Elle (14:52):
Keisha was.

Styles (14:53):
Was was not in Belly.

Karyn Elle (14:54):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
White orange yeah, that's Belly, that's Belly, that's Belly.

Styles (14:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Karyn Elle (14:59):
For sure All right.

Styles (15:01):
What's your song for the season of your life?

Karyn Elle (15:05):
The season of your life, i would say, i don't know,
it changes all the time.
That, um, i don't know.

Styles (15:15):
What's the song for?
What did you pre-game beforework today with?

Karyn Elle (15:20):
I don't pre-game before work.

Styles (15:22):
You listen to something.

Karyn Elle (15:23):
I don't, but I've been really listening to
Burnaboy a lot.
I really like Burnaboy.

Styles (15:28):
You know what?
This is the thing.
It's not that I don't listen tohim, but I did catch a clip
where he was talking aboutAfricans and African-Americans
and that shit didn't run me theright way, But that's a whole
other conversation.

Karyn Elle (15:38):
Yeah, i didn't see that, But I listened to that.
But what's your song for thisseason of your life?
This season of your life?
I don't know, because it wouldhave to be something that would
have a lot of fuck yous andleave me alone, like because I'm
just at this place in my lifewhere, like, just fuck you and
leave me alone, like I just wantto be left alone.
Let me do what I do.

So unless somebody got a song like that?
I don't really know.

Styles (16:03):
That's crazy.

That's crazy.

Styles (16:06):
But it's true.
Quick question Do you do brunchbefore I even waste my time on
this question?

Karyn Elle (16:11):
Yes, i was at brunch on Sunday.

Styles (16:13):
Say less I love brunch.

Karyn Elle (16:14):
What do you?

Styles (16:14):
drink to start brunch off with.

Karyn Elle (16:17):
Peach Bellini.

Styles (16:19):
OK.

Sound Bite (16:20):
All right.

Styles (16:20):
I used to think that Peach Bellini was for dudes and
the most is for women.

Karyn Elle (16:25):
Not a thing, i'm a Hennessy drinker, but since I
got an act lady like, i'm goingto just drink this champagne.

Styles (16:30):
It's the Bronx?
Tell me it's the.

Karyn Elle (16:32):
Bronx.

Styles (16:34):
I like champagne, though .

Karyn Elle (16:38):
I mean, i don't like the way it tastes, but I like
the way I feel when I drink it.

Styles (16:42):
Well, that holds true of all alcohol that I drink.
I don't like the way it tastes,but you know for the after
effects.
I'm definitely a sugar drinker.
What's more important Sleep orgoing out?

Karyn Elle (16:53):
Sleep.

Styles (16:55):
Amen to that.

Karyn Elle (16:56):
Immediately sleep.
Amen to that I have no problembeing like y'all go ahead
without me, no problem, right?
What's the worry about?

Styles (17:07):
I'm an excuse guy, i'm with you, i'm with you, i'm with
a whole bunch of excuses Andgetting this, but nope, y'all
could go ahead and go.

Karyn Elle (17:12):
Matter of fact, I'm checking with you so I could
cancel.
Are we still going?

Styles (17:18):
Yeah, for real, i don't know anything about peer
pressure.
until it comes to, i don'tthink we need to go out tonight.
Why don't we just postpone it?
But when we were making theplans, shit, i was the one
making the reservations.
Anyway, outside that, are you alistener or a talker?

Karyn Elle (17:34):
Talker.

Styles (17:36):
OK, if you could live in any sitcom, which would it be?

Karyn Elle (17:43):
I would live in Rugrats.
I would be Angelica and SusieCarmichael friend in Rugrats.
But if you want to talk aboutone that's not a cartoon,
probably Girlfriend.

Styles (17:57):
No, I want to talk about whatever it is you want to talk
about.
Like, if that's your answer, wecan stay with that.

Karyn Elle (18:04):
Ok, i like Girlfriend.
Do you remember, girlfriend?
They used to come on with it, ido.
Tracy.
Oliver, i really like that,like if I could live in that,
because I always like justaspire to be one of those women.
You know what I mean.

Styles (18:14):
Nah, you're too spunky, i couldn't see you in that.

Karyn Elle (18:17):
Yeah, but I want to like grow up one day.

Styles (18:20):
But I don't know.

Karyn Elle (18:22):
OK, ok, one of these days.
Yeah, i hear you.

Styles (18:26):
Yeah, this is not the show to do it on.
No, ok, what's in the trunk ofyour car right now?

Karyn Elle (18:35):
Right now A soccer ball, a blanket, an umbrella,
probably like a shoe, if I lookreally good A mitten, just one,
yeah, that's it really.
And a first aid kit.

Styles (18:52):
Ok, and a first aid kit.

Karyn Elle (18:53):
I just had the car detailed, so it looks really
good and I clean most of it.

Styles (18:58):
Oh, here we go.
So today I went and washed mycar for the first time in like
10 months.

Karyn Elle (19:03):
Why do you do the car like?

Styles (19:04):
that Because is the thing I need to shock and str-.
I've been going through somethings with my car and I love my
car, but I've been goingthrough some things with my car
and it was just like you knowwhat.
This is how we feel right now.
This is just how we feel That'sright.

Karyn Elle (19:16):
This is a manifestation of what I'm
feeling Exactly.

Styles (19:19):
So I'm kind of like you know the drug dealer.
I'm just going with 10 days inclothes just getting money.
That's just where we are rightnow, like we got more important
things to do than wash our ass.
Ok, that's not true, but That'show you feel.
No, no, no, no, well for the car.
So I pulled into the car washtoday, right, and it was not a,

(19:40):
it's a hand car wash, right,except for, like the way that
it's situated.
You would go in through theback, come out the front, right,
but when you come out the front, it's like you literally just
pull into the street and leave.
So I'm like you know, I pull upand like, how much is it?
It's at 10, 13, 16.
I didn't ask him which gets mewhat?
because where I live, right,it's about 18 bucks to wash my

(20:04):
car, right, literally, for likeeverything.
They washed the fucking car orpre-washed it and went through
the thing and that was it.
I'm like, what did I just pay?
What kind of soap did you justuse right now?
Like, did I get the premiumsoap?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, did I get the old bucketwater?

(20:24):
Like, what did I get for $16?
You didn't put nothing on mytires, they didn't like nothing,
they just let you go.
Just 16 bucks, yeah, one anddone It.
Can't even get $10 from me nexttime, because that I just felt
it was a $10 car wash.

Karyn Elle (20:38):
Yeah $10 don't feel like a lot of money for a car
wash, but okay, go ahead If itin the rain, you ain't got to
charge that much Like I hate it,But that's yeah, you're right.
But that's just well.
I just got my car detailed.
That costs a lot of money.
It cost me $200 and changed$225.

(20:58):
Yeah, the car teeth are likewaxed and yeah, it looked good,
though Looked brand new, So youknow it was $200, but, I feel
like I need to do that Yeah.
It was nice We fell in loveagain At some point in my life
Yeah.
I was like I like you better.
now You know, that's one ofthose things.

Styles (21:16):
Crazy, so I have two more questions.

Karyn Elle (21:18):
Okay.

Styles (21:19):
What's the child?
what childish thing do youstill do as an adult?

Karyn Elle (21:26):
Everything, Every.
I can't think of More pettywhop.
What childish thing do I do asan adult?
I'm just childish all the time.
So I'm trying to think whatchildish things don't I do?
I like I run around like alittle kid, like I play a lot
like a little kid.
So I'm childish all the time,like I'm a practical joker, like

(21:50):
I'm doing all of that stuff.
I'm watching cartoons on Disneyplus.
Like I act like a kid all thetime.
Adults are boring.
No they think they knoweverything.

Styles (22:03):
Oh, I thought it was the kids that thought they knew
everything.

Karyn Elle (22:06):
No, yeah, teenagers were like little kids are honest
.
They more honest than adults.
You want to know the truthabout yourself?
Go hang out with a little kidbecause they will tell you
straight face.
You smell.
I don't like you.
Why is your teeth like that?
Like they will go in?
Yeah, you want to be humble?
Go hang out with some littlekids.
They will humble real quick.
Ain't nobody sparing yourfeelings?

Styles (22:28):
No, that's a fact, savages.

Karyn Elle (22:30):
Yeah, anyway, who raised you?

Styles (22:32):
Bastards, yo for real.
Okay, last question.

Karyn Elle (22:40):
Okay.

Styles (22:42):
What do you think the average cost of a first date
should be?

Karyn Elle (22:46):
We have time to get into this.
I feel like it depends on it.

Styles (22:50):
No, no, no no, give me the short version, because I
know I've asked this questionthree or four times.

Karyn Elle (22:56):
Yeah.

Styles (22:57):
And I got about three or four novels.

Karyn Elle (22:59):
Yeah, because I feel like it depends on the grade of
your chick.

Styles (23:04):
No, don't do that.
I'm talking about from apersonal perspective.
Oh, then you're.
Oh yeah.

Karyn Elle (23:08):
So average cost of a first date with me like 400.

Styles (23:12):
Hmm, okay, let's talk about it.
It's like $400.
Let's talk about it.
What we doing for $400?
.

Karyn Elle (23:21):
Well, with anything that I want, first of all, we're
gonna go eat right, becauseeverybody hungry, so that's
gonna run you through Besteatin' the bronze, yeah, and
then I need some drinks withthat.
So that's gonna cost you like$150.
$200, depending where we go andeat.
And then, like I don't reallylike You're not taking me to the

(23:44):
movies, so like you got a plan.

Styles (23:48):
Nah, that's not a good first date.

Karyn Elle (23:50):
Exactly.
So what?
We going to Topgolf, we goingto JoJo, our Sojo Spa, we going
to somewhere where, like Wait,time out, time out.

Styles (23:59):
We not going to the spa on the first date?
That ain't gonna happen.
Why not?
Why That ain't gonna happen?
Why We don't do a spa on thefirst date.
But that's fun, Yeah, but it'skind of like the movies though.

Karyn Elle (24:09):
But I like activities.
I don't want to be like yo.
Let's just go hang out Likewhat are you Nah?

Styles (24:14):
I'm not saying that.
All I did was scratch that onething off your list and she was
like hold on, we're not gonnahave fun.

Karyn Elle (24:20):
Yeah, but like okay.
So what would you suggest,cause I'm like, okay, no.

Styles (24:24):
I'm just saying whatever you pile on that list, we just
not doing, we not doing, Okaybut any activity that you're
going to do, it gonna cost youlike $150.

Karyn Elle (24:33):
That's a fact, So yeah, so you hang out for a
couple hours.
You spend like $400.

Styles (24:39):
So you starting early or you starting late?
I'm assuming we starting early.

Karyn Elle (24:43):
Yeah.

Styles (24:44):
Okay.

Karyn Elle (24:45):
Yeah, but even if you start late, it's still gonna
cost you Like it's not cheap togo out with somebody these days
.
That's why a lot of peopledon't want to go out with nobody
.
It's not cheap to date peoplethese days cause, like people
are not humble Like I will goout with you to Applebee's or to

(25:05):
Chili's and get a 2 for 20.
But that's after you done tookme out the first time.

Styles (25:10):
Oh yeah, I was about to say that's not a first date.
Yeah, that's not a first date.
We not doing that on first date.

Karyn Elle (25:14):
You gotta go do a couple first dates with me, and
then I'll be like alright, babe,let's go get something to eat

Styles (25:20):
I'm done with you.
In a funny math You can't do acouple of first dates.

Karyn Elle (25:24):
No, I need a couple of first dates.
You gotta wow me.
I need a couple of first dates.
Then we could be like alright,let's go get something to eat
real quick And you could dropyour $60.
You're not taking me on a firstdate to, like, you know,
Applebee's.

Styles (25:39):
I ain't gonna hold you.
$400 is reasonable.
Yeah, $400 is a lot of money,but like, the truth of the
matter is like If you want,especially like this is the
thing, and I'm talking about,you know our geographic location
if you want to do it right,$400, you know you can do some
things, yeah, with $400.

Karyn Elle (26:00):
At the same time in New York, $400 ain't a lot of
money because you go out and wegotta park the car.
It'd be like $50, $60 just toput your car in a lot.

Styles (26:08):
Yeah, nah I gotta go to Cheekhole for that.

Karyn Elle (26:11):
You know what I'm saying?

Styles (26:12):
I'll park way uptown in Harlem and I'll call a Uber and
we out.
I'm not doing that.

Karyn Elle (26:18):
Yeah, so you want me to leave my bed somewhere in
Harlem?

Styles (26:23):
I'm picking you up, but we going to.

Karyn Elle (26:25):
Yeah, So this time sit.

Styles (26:27):
And only that.
But if you park in Harlem it'swell, depending on where it's
actually less money in a lot.

Karyn Elle (26:33):
Yeah, i mean, as opposed to trying to Yeah, so
that's what I'm saying.
Like it costs just just movingaround, like that.

Styles (26:40):
That's a fact.
That is, that is a fact 400bills $400.
That's your new nickname $400.

Karyn Elle (26:48):
Oh honey, oh honey.

Oh honey, main course, it's time to eat.
What's on your mind?

Styles (27:00):
All right, we have arrived.
Right, yeah, this is this iswhat we here for.
All right, this is what we herefor.
How much you got left in thatcar?
Let me see What you got.
Oh, i might have to top thatoff a little bit.
All right, all right, all right.
So the name of the episode ishow can I love you?

(27:25):
Right, that's nice.
And I want to talk about it.
So, dudes, when they're on aropes and I don't know if it's a
cultural thing when I saycultural thing, i mean amongst a
certain demographic within theUnited States.
I'm not speaking about anythingoutside of the United States is

(27:45):
nothing like that When a man ison a ropes, right, and his
stock is down, i mean not hisstock is down, but he's on a
rope His stock goes down as itrelates to relationships, right,
and when I say it could be anunfortunate event, right,
whatever.
But why is it that women willthen turn around and look at

(28:10):
this man like he's less than?

Karyn Elle (28:15):
Why.

Sound Bite (28:16):
Why.

Karyn Elle (28:17):
Okay, ready.

Styles (28:19):
I don't know.
All right, let me break thisdown.
Hold on Where my gloves at man,let me break this down.

Karyn Elle (28:24):
You ain't going to fight with me because you're
going to agree with everything Isay.
Let me break this down for you.
The reason is because we livein a society that has
perpetuated the idea and idealsthat men are supposed to be only
providers, that they are onlysuccessful when they have, that
they are non-emotional creatures, that they deserve less respect

(28:48):
because there are things insociety that they are supposed
to do And because we haveperpetuated this so much in our
young women and our older women,we continue to look for that in
men, and so when men areagainst the ropes, they lose
their job.
They don't have money, theyfall ill.
Whatever they are in positionswhere they are vulnerable, women

(29:10):
tend to consider that as weak,and so it begins to make a
relationship fail because thereis a lack of respect.
The respect isn't the man as abeing.
The respect is the man as whathe has and what he is available
to her.
Now, do I agree with that?
Absolutely not.
But is that the society andthat the way women are

(29:32):
programmed today to understand?
Yes, that is the reason why menare, like you said, in a ring
and up against a rope and barelyhave any room to kind of like
duck and bob and weave, becausethey have been created in this
structure and this hierarchywhere it's like yo, the value of
you is only valuable if right.

(29:53):
A woman is valuable Oh, she'spretty, she got a nice wife, she
got a big ass, she got a bigtitty.
That is her value.
But a man's value is like youneed to be strong, you need to
have money, you need to have ajob, you need to be able to I
don't know, because some womendon't even say intellect But you
know what I'm saying.
For the minute, a man is in asituation where one of those
things are vulnerable.

(30:13):
A woman taking advantage ofthat And then she's like the
relationship is not the samebecause she don't have the same
respect.
I don't think that.

Styles (30:21):
I think that, as far as, like intellect is concerned,
that falls way low on a list ofthings that they're looking for,
it's true?
I?
said that, but most women don'tsay that.

Karyn Elle (30:30):
Most women will say he has to have, and they're
looking at the materialisticthings that a man has to have.
Does he have a good job?
Does he make a good amount ofmoney?
Does he spoil me?
Does he have his own place?
Does he have a nice car?
They're looking at all of thetangible things instead of
having somebody in their lifewho is like riding for them and
a good person.

Styles (30:52):
Let me flip that.
Let me flip that Right, becauseI agree wholeheartedly that
your argument is my argument,right, but at the same time,
though, i do think that theyshould find a provider.
You understand, there'ssomebody that is, i guess,
self-sufficient in a way.
You get it Not in a way, butmore than a way Right.

(31:12):
I don't think that they shouldnecessarily be counting his
pockets, because the way Iprocess it and look at it is
this Whenever you come togetheras a partnership, you know we
all live in the same reality,right, whereby the cost of
housing is here.

Karyn Elle (31:30):
Right.

Styles (31:31):
The median income is here, right?
So if that's the case, then uscoming together, this is a
partnership, right, becausewe're both entering this thing
here.
Right, you can't take care ofme.
I can't necessarily just stopdoing what you're doing because
I'm going to take care of you.
Right, we have to do ittogether and then we have to

(31:52):
build a plan and execute theplan to end up where I guess,
where we ultimately want to be,right, but, guys, how do you
mean?

Karyn Elle (31:57):
about you.
Well, i agree with everythingyou're saying.
The problem with that, though,there's two things.
The problem with that is onepeople are not entering
partnerships.
There's a lot of women who arenot looking at men as a partner.
They're looking at men as acrutch.
They're looking at men asproviders, to the point where
they don't have to provide forthemselves.
Men ask men for something thatyou couldn't even give yourself.

(32:22):
You are asking a man to buy yousomething or give you something
that you are incapable ofgiving yourself, and I
understand Well, people buygifts that they can't afford,
but I'm also understanding thatanything that I ask of someone,
i'm quite capable of right andyou see how bizarre that shit is
.

Styles (32:39):
Because the thing is like if I can't get it for you
and you can't get it for you,what a fuck are you mad at me?
Like you mad at me because Ican't buy you something that you
can't even buy yourself.

Karyn Elle (32:53):
But, and I'll tell, you something else?
That's crazy about it.
Women that have a good job,that have gone to school, have
worked, have wear the suit withthey sneakers on and do that
every day, are gonna be morehumble Because they earning it
too, and they're gonna be moreof a partner because they have
more invested.
But you find a woman thatdoesn't have anything invested,
then she don't, you know, i meanshe not gonna be humble because

(33:16):
she don't have anythinginvested in this.

Styles (33:18):
But then you also have the Independent types, right.
So the independent types prettymuch alike, when you know doing
push-ups on niggas faces too,because they're like, listen,
i'm getting myself.
I don't need nothing from you,nor do I need you.
I was a different guy.

Karyn Elle (33:34):
Independent woman in the sense that like I gotta go
to work every day and you knowI'm saying if something's broke
I gotta fix it.
But I think sometimes we needto remember, as women that were
women.
We need to remember as womenthat were women, that were not
men, that were not men.
You don't, you don't have towhile you are an independent

(33:56):
woman is an independent woman anindependent woman is not an
independent man.
You're still a woman.
You still should be soft insome ways.
You still should be nurturingin some ways.
Just because you make enoughmoney to pay for everything
doesn't mean that you have toput on the exterior That
resembles much of a male youunderstand I'm saying you could
be a successful woman and stillbe a wonderful girlfriend, a

(34:20):
wonderful wife, and And be softenough to allow yourself to be
loved by somebody.
Just because you make money,you don't mean you gotta be a
bitch like, you don't gotta dothat.

Styles (34:30):
No, now I'm with you 100%.
I'm with you 100% and again,like I said, because it cost to
live in a cost of living isinsane.

Karyn Elle (34:40):
Yeah, I'm listening now.

Styles (34:42):
Yeah, it's crazy.

Karyn Elle (34:45):
Yeah.

Styles (34:46):
So it's kind of like, i think, that the expectations for
Couple I don't know.
There are some frugal peopleout there.

Karyn Elle (34:54):
I could be a frugal couple together.

Styles (34:56):
You know.
But yeah, and that's what I'msaying, There are some frugal,
frugal people out there, butwhat we see again like you you
had mentioned earlier on theforefront of everything And
what's being perpetuatedBasically is like this dude is
supposed to take care, you andnot everybody's a YouTube
fucking star.
First of all, i Want to be okay, let me speak from a man's

(35:19):
perspective, mind specifically,i Want to be in a position where
My wife doesn't have to work,right, you understand?
because for me, if she doesn'thave to work, you know what that
does.
That buys me more time to spendwith her.
Right okay, so I'm pretty muchlike leveraging um, i guess,

(35:41):
money for time right.
Right, i want to be in thatposition, but we're not in that
position.
Right, i would love to be there, but we're not in that position
.
And thankfully, we both cameinto it with the mindset of we
are Part of.
This is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna put this together,boom, and Here's the benchmark.
This is what we want to be,right, and everything in between

(36:04):
that.
This is how we're gonna getthere, right, right, and we're
so crazy.
And I have a daughter andpretty much I Think this is
where it goes left for me.
Right, because my daughter IWant, i wanted to be
self-sufficient, right, i don'twant her to rely on a guy.

(36:24):
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, like what?
to the point where it's like,in any shape, form of fashion.
So I'm raising exactly what I'mtalking about With regards to
like, i don't think we should doit like that.
I'm like yeah, nah, weshouldn't do that after God.

Karyn Elle (36:43):
I feel like you're willing to do that for your wife
.
Hmm most importantly, becauseshe's not forcing you to do it
for her.
There's a difference between aman saying I want my wife to not
have to work And I'm gonna dothese things so she doesn't have
to, versus a woman walking intoour relationship and going I'm
not doing this, i'm not doingthis, i'm not doing this.

(37:05):
You better take care of this.
You better take care.
There's a difference.
Right you know what I mean, andso it's almost humbling to know
that.
All right, well, but this iswhat I want for you And I'm
gonna work towards this.
But you're not forcing me to doit, you're not expecting this
of me, you just would you wantthat for her.
It's not the same thing.
There's women walking aroundright now like I'm.
They're going into therelationship day one.

(37:26):
I'm not paying a rent, i'm notpaying for the car.
She better buy me this, youbetter give me that.
And Then, when the relate, whenhe don't have those things,
they no longer have arelationship.
Because she's not with him.
For his integrity and hisintellect.
She was with him because it's atransactional relationship.
When we can't make no moretransactions, she, like I'm out.

Styles (37:47):
Let me ask you a question.
Yeah, that's that's it.
That's it all the way on thehead, that's it into the ground.
actually, it's secure.
You're raising the Sun, yes.
Yes okay, what advice.
But what methods are you using?
you know, to help guard againstthat mentality, right?

(38:09):
So what are you telling him?
Well, first of all, how old is.

Karyn Elle (38:12):
My son is 13?
.

Styles (38:14):
Yeah, he's on the cusp of 13.

Karyn Elle (38:16):
Yeah, he just sprouted up like two feet taller
than me.
He's well taken care of, he'svery well taken care of And I'd
be telling my son, i tell peopleat time I'm gonna impress my
son, so he not impressed by yourdusty head daughter.
Hey man you know what I mean.
I have, but there's also things.

(38:37):
As a man, i can't teach himeverything.
He does have a dad and he talkshis dad whenever they talk.
They got cell phones and talkto each other and hang out.
But I tell us all the time yougot a wallet, you post to carry
your money in your wallet.
You understand I'm saying hedon't leave here without his
wallet, he don't leave herewithout a little money and he
knows that.
I teach him as a young man likehere's your money, manage your
money.
You got a girlfriend.

(38:57):
Yes, you could buy her a gift,but you can't be buying her
gifts till you go broke.
If someone's not nice to you,then why are you with them?
Why are you going out with agirl that's mean to you?
Why are you like?
that's not.
I don't allow.
I don't allow that.
So I think you got a.

Styles (39:10):
Teach me man to be young man.
Yeah, you do, you do, and youhave to really teach them about
reciprocation.
Yeah, right, because you don'twant them to be to grow up to be
doormats right.
You understand, like, forinstance, like I remember my son
being um I Was, jj, was aboutthat age 13, 14 years Yeah, they

(39:31):
got their voice getting alittle deep now, Yeah and we had
.
We had spent Valentine'stogether, right, and as opposed
to me going out doing my thingbecause my son doesn't know
anybody.
He hasn't known anybody outsideof his mother and my now wife.
That's it.
Yeah, i bring emails aroundthem, um, and we went to the

(39:52):
Hibachi spot, right, just toshow them, like, listen, when
you go out on a date, these arethe things that you do.
I'll just down to third.
For me it's been hard tonavigate, like the other things,
right, because I don't want topass up, pass off my past
traumas on to him.
You understand, like you know,you should be doing X, y and Z

(40:13):
because of blah, blah, blah.
You can't process that right.

Karyn Elle (40:16):
And some things he gonna have to learn.
They gonna have to learn ontheir own because they just got
to learn on their own.
But you want to be as hands-onas possible and Telling them the
truth.
I'm the truth like there is.
I tell my son the truth.
There's women out here that aregonna use you for your money,
their girls are gonna like you.
They gonna see that.
I know my son is cute.

(40:37):
I know how you're opposed topicture him on Instagram.
I don't get you're opposedInstagram.
I get like 20 likes.
I post my son up there like ahundred and thirty something.

I was like yo.

Karyn Elle (40:49):
Somebody was like no , my daughter was asking who is
he?
I was like yo, i know my and Iknow we take, i know, as parents
mean his dad take really goodcare of him.
So he's always he, oh, like mykid.
Don't leave the house if hedon't look like he's my child.
But I was like people will seethat and they will be like oh
well, let me take advantage ofthis situation, let me take

(41:09):
advantage of you, let me know Iwas like you gotta be, you gotta
be careful, not just with women, but with anybody in general,
and so you gotta teach your kidsthat and vice versa.
I have two daughters and I tellthem the same thing about men,
like I want you to be Sufficientand they and that's why I pay
for you to go to college so youcould learn and get a good job
But at the same time, i don't Icaught.

(41:30):
I don't want them to be with apartner either.
That's taking advantage of themand there's a deadbeat.
As a man like it's.

Styles (41:36):
It's, it's a partnership and, unfortunately, right, the
transactional part of the pump.
A partnership is important.
Yeah, it's important.
You know you don't want it toto outweigh all the other stuff.
You know The morals and stufflike that.
You don't want to outweigh that, but it's a very into part of

(41:56):
any relationship.
But, ladies, this is what Iwant to tell you When you have a
good do Right and he may bedown, he's definitely not out
because he's always gonna find away to get it done.
Don't make that man feel lessthan because he can't do
something in a moment That hewants to do and it's hard parts

(42:20):
wants to do, and that's evenwithout you asking he wants to
do it.
You get what I'm saying but, youkill his motivation and his
pride by Treating him like he'sless than.
We get a lot of that and that's.
You know.
I even had an argument, not anargument, but it's a
conversation about this verytopic, you know, and I'm
passionate about it because ofthe fact that the shit's not

(42:41):
cool.

Karyn Elle (42:42):
I feel you down on that, i feel like that goes back
to what I was saying about thecultural part of us seeing women
talk down to men.
Like you see your grandma do it, you see your mom do it, you
see it on TV, you see it here,you see there, and so it's
almost like second nature forsome women to do it the whole
time, though like you're anabuser And you're not taking any

(43:05):
responsibility for that.
Like you constantly verballyabusing someone is still abuse,
and just because it's a man, ohwell he's soft, why he mad about
that?
Like, sis, what is wrong withyou?
Go get help.
Like this is not how arelationship is supposed to work
.
He not.
But like you said, when it'sflipped, if you speak to a woman
like that, she can be like ohhell, no, i'm calling my

(43:26):
girlfriend, i'm telling my mamaeverybody hates you.
But every day you talking downto this person, like and this is
what.

Styles (43:32):
And even if but see the thing is, even if you're not
talking down to him, you got toalso remember, like, if you're
doing shit, like, for instance,talking to your friends about
the situation, this man is doingnothing, Nothing but good to
you.
You understand what I'm sayingNothing but good to you.
But yet, and still, because youdon't see it that way, because
he's not, I guess, monetarily ina position to actually do what

(43:54):
you need him to do with a snapof finger.
Now, his name is Dirt on theother side of his door.

Karyn Elle (44:00):
Right, which is crazy.
Yeah.

Styles (44:03):
You know which is crazy, and I wish that there were a
way that we could actually flip,that You understand Flip it.
Because when you look in themirror, ladies before, when you
start to berate your manwhoever's berating your man?
I'm not saying that everybodydoes it because everybody
doesn't.
When you start to berate yourman, go look in the mirror and
tell me what you see.
Ok, for all of the things thatyou're asking him to do.

(44:26):
Right, i want you to attempt todo what you're asking him to do
And then you'll understand thework that goes into it.
Because if it could be done,you know either he would do it
or you would just do it.
Right, You get what I'm saying.
It's different if he's sittingat home playing fucking Nintendo
and doing a whole bunch ofother shit.
Right, right, but he's notdoing that.
He's presiding a relationship.

(44:48):
I'm talking about good men.
That would just.
I don't want to say we pause,that you guys are just tossing
away because they're not makingthat quick millennial to fucking
do money and shit like that.

Karyn Elle (45:04):
Yeah.
You know TikTok money, yeah,yeah yeah, it is not coming in
quick Yeah.
You know, Yeah, it's sad,though, because it just creates
more and more cycles of it.
If you're not conscious aboutwhat you're saying and what
you're doing, and I kind of alsofeel like a different I also
feel like women, like if you'rewith someone and this is how you

(45:25):
really feel, then why are youthere?

Styles (45:28):
Because it's transactional.
You know why Like, why are you?

Karyn Elle (45:31):
there.
If this is really how you feel,if this is really honestly how
you feel about this person andevery day you just beefing about
it then why?
my question to you is be likewhy are you there?

Styles (45:42):
Because it was good when it was good.

Karyn Elle (45:44):
OK, it's not good, no more.
So now what you want to do.

Styles (45:46):
Right, because remember what we said, that something
happened along the way wherehe's not able to do X, y and Z
in a specified time frame orwhatever that she specified, or
he's not able to actually getwhatever it is that she wants
when she wants it.
So now, all of a sudden, thisnigga is worthless.

(46:08):
You would have said I'm sayinglike That's crazy, how it is
crazy, because it's the thing Onthe other side of that right,
the other side of that spectrumin this partnership, if it falls
on a man to do and he wants todo it right, or the woman wants
to do it and she tries to do it,she can't do it.

(46:29):
You know what he does.
He comes in and he either doesit or develops a plan to get it
done, but they do it together.
But on the other side of thatit's like if you can't do it,
they get in.
That's fucked up, right.

Karyn Elle (46:43):
I'm going to find somebody else to do it.

Styles (46:46):
Nah, not even that We even going to go that far yet.
We're not even going that faryet, because that just makes you
a bird.
But anyway, i mean, you alreadygrown with feathers, but you a
full blown bird when you go doshit like that, you know.
But yeah, it's just fucked up.
And I know when I startedwriting it out I was like this

(47:08):
shit is crazy.

Karyn Elle (47:10):
But how do we change that?
Because it's not enough to belike we know it, like, how do we
change?

Styles (47:17):
that, Because again raise your kids right.

Karyn Elle (47:19):
Raise your kids right, But then I also feel like
that at a certain age you gotto grow up.

You know, it's one thing when you act like this
at 21 and 22 and 23 years old.

Karyn Elle (47:32):
Ok, fine, y'all young, y'all don't know no
better.
But when we grown folks andy'all still doing that now,
y'all just playing, y'all selves, y'all childish Like you, have
to grow up and say, ok, this therelationship I'm going to be in
And this is what I'm choosing,this is my partner.
Ok, well, the partner need tobe partnering And sometimes
you're going to be up, they'regoing to be down.
Sometimes you're going to bedown, they're going to be up.
You have to understand that.

(47:52):
That's how partnership works.

Styles (47:55):
But let me add this right, if everybody knew how to
have a productive partnership,aka relationship, they would all
have businesses that werebooming right now.
Yeah, because it's the samefucking principle, right, you
get me, and I think that if theyoverlay the reality of going to

(48:17):
work every day and having todeal with people they don't want
to deal with and figuring outhow to navigate that and
actually get ahead, take thatoverlay that over your household
.
You'd be in business.
Yeah, right, because there'd bea lot more understanding.
You can understand what thefuck is going on now.
Yeah, you know.
Unless, again, this is not forthe ain't shit niggas, because

(48:38):
they all ain't shit niggas.
This is not for that.
I am not speaking to that.
I am not saying that every dudethat you encounter that's
shiftless is actually worthsomething.

Karyn Elle (48:51):
Right.

Styles (48:52):
I'm talking about the nigga that you saw something in
that is still doing the samething with the same type of
energy.
It's just that the cards arenot stacked the way that he
works with the stack?

Karyn Elle (49:04):
Yeah, and shit happens.

Styles (49:06):
Right.

Karyn Elle (49:07):
Yeah, i feel like if you're going to commit to being
with a partner, you got tounderstand that it's going to go
up and it's going to go down.
Are you going to ride with itor what you're going to do,
because that's also going toshake out the people who are
really going to be there and thepeople that are not.
This is a lot about person.

Styles (49:25):
That's a fact, or just come in with what you come in
with and everybody just comes.
Everybody just comes togetherwhen shit is right.

Karyn Elle (49:34):
But life don't always work like that.
You know That's not reality.
Life doesn't always.
We could both come in, peoplecould come in and everybody
doing good, and look, we justhad COVID.
Businesses went out of business, people got sick, like anything
could happen.
Like you in this, or you're not.

Styles (49:53):
See, that's the cut of where I'm from.
honestly, like you know,there's this.
there's true love is born fromturmoil.
unfortunately, you know,because you get to go through it
all A lot of people gettogether and never get to
experience the cheating.
They never get to experiencethe illness, the deaths and all

(50:15):
that other shit like that.
They don't get to experienceall of that stuff.
So when they get together andit gets rocky, they get pissed.

Karyn Elle (50:22):
It's like oh shit, yeah.

Styles (50:23):
Yeah, But then the people that actually grew into
that right.

And lean into it.

Styles (50:31):
Yeah, Because it's like I don't know.
I feel like, again, you needthe adversity in order to make
it happen.
You know, in order to keep ittogether.
You know, And niggas just arethe good dudes Don't know what
they're getting into When they.

(50:51):
You know, because once the shitdry up, then it's like the true
colors come out.
You know, And you just keepgoing to couch.

Karyn Elle (50:57):
Yeah, if you have one, that's messed up.
It's so messed up, though whenyou think about it, you know.

Styles (51:06):
So do me a favor, give the people some advice real
quick.
I think.
Let me see.
Give the um, give the dudessome advice.
We need some encouragement.
So give the dudes some advice.
Not the chicks, pardon,respectfully.
Not the women I love you,ladies Not the women.
Give the dudes out there rightnow fighting a good fight,

(51:28):
sleeping on a couch andself-esteem is in the garbage.

Karyn Elle (51:32):
Tell it to them.
I don't know if this is goodadvice or not good advice.
I think that number one you gotto communicate with your
partner.
Don't let them have to guessthings.
Communicate with them.
Whatever is your thinking,whatever is your feeling.
Right, you got to be able tocommunicate because if you don't
say nothing, women tend to likego from zero to 100.
So say something, right.

(51:54):
I would say that.
I would also say like, whenyou're feeling down, you need to
really be able to be aroundpeople that are going to lift
you up.
And if that's not coming fromthe partner that you're with,
you're going to really have tohave a communication, sit down,
talk about that kind ofrelationship and the level of
respect that was happening, andthen partner, partner, you both

(52:15):
need to partner, make a plan,strategize and partner together.
And if all of those things withthat person is too difficult,
then you got to really look atthis relationship and be like
all right, is this the personthat I need to be with?
Because it's going to reallyshow you a lot of things about a
person and about therelationship that you have with
them.
And it might be good, like yothey're writing for me And it
might be bad like yo.

(52:35):
I thought different and Iexpected different, And you need
to be able to communicate thatand pinpoint it and see it.
But you know, i would suggestthat men that are feeling beat
down like you need not be inthose around people that do that
to you, because that's justthat.
That's why so many men of colorend up with depression and
anxiety and things that thatwe're not allowed to talk about

(53:00):
in some spaces, right, becauseyour mental well-being is not
good and there's no place to go.
Your safe space ain't even safe, so that's the amount for you
women.
You got to create a safe space.

Styles (53:18):
We ain't giving them no advice.

Karyn Elle (53:19):
They know what they're doing.
They have to create spaces.

Styles (53:22):
But they're aware of what they're doing, so the thing
is remember, of course remember.
I think so.
After you swipe that creditcard, you know your balance is
low.
We not doing that.
They understand what it is.
Um fellas, keep your heads up,keep fighting a good fight.
You know, and I will tell youthis, the most important thing

(53:44):
is to understand your worth,because when you start to slow
down you got to understandyou're only killing yourself.
Right, because the atrophyalready started with the
relationship, the strain isalready there, right.
But if you start to slow downand you can't help yourself, and
if you can't help yourself youdefinitely can't help anybody.
Understand yourself worth Andwith that we move on.

Bay night, sexy nights and good food.

Styles (54:13):
All right, karen L, please do not disappoint me.
We have a whole conversation, awhole conversation before we
started this thing.

Karyn Elle (54:21):
Yes, Give an example of my best favorite bay night.
Okay, so my best favorite, yourbest favorite.

Styles (54:30):
Yeah, my best favorite.

Karyn Elle (54:31):
That's what I say My best favorite.
Okay, so my favorite bay night.

Styles (54:34):
Oh Lord, let me see It, does it.
Yes, That's crazy.
Your best favorite.

Karyn Elle (54:40):
My favorite bay night was not even a bay night,
It was actually like I neverwent to sleep, So it was just
like a lot of days.
But it was one of thosesituations where it was like
meet me at the airport And Iwent to the airport and I just

(55:00):
had my little bag with mebecause I didn't plan on going
too far for very long, Um and.

Styles (55:06):
Hold on a second.

Karyn Elle (55:07):
Yeah.

Styles (55:09):
You had to spend the night back.
I didn't.

Karyn Elle (55:13):
I want to say it was my spend.

Styles (55:14):
No, no, no, no, no.
I want to say it was my spend.
No, no, no, no, i want to sayit was my spend No, no, no, that
was a yes and no question.

Karyn Elle (55:19):
Um no, it was not my spend a night back.

Styles (55:21):
It was a spend a night back.
It was not a spend a night back.

Karyn Elle (55:24):
It actually was The spend a night back has things
that you don't want to take tothe airport because they're
going to see when you put yourbag through that thing.

Styles (55:32):
Yeah, that just means you put it through.
You know, does not carry yours.

Karyn Elle (55:37):
You got to check your bag, um.
so, um, yeah, i, we uh flew outto Vegas, um and got to Vegas
at like I don't know what timeit was in Vegas, maybe like
seven o'clock, but it wasnighttime when I left New York.
um got to Vegas at like a on aFriday night, i think, and like

(55:57):
um went to the hotel, beautifulroom, um, changed our clothes,
hit the club, stayed up allnight, played in the casino.
I got a um a lap dance tutorialfrom one of the girls dancing
in one of the casinos and stufflike that, or some stripper, i
don't really know.
It was a long night.

(56:20):
Um girl strip episode ofhangover, something like yeah,
it was something like that, likestayed up all night, ate
breakfast, like it was.
It was just really cool, likejust hung out, laugh, talk,
walked up and down, um, and thenI like left the next day.

Sound Bite (56:38):
Yeah, it's fire, though It was amazing, it was I
literally watched the sun comeup in the desert, yeah.

Karyn Elle (56:45):
So it was just like we didn't.
We didn't go to sleep.
I didn't sleep for like twodays, bro, it's just.
I like I just stayed up forlike two days, but it was.
it was just amazing And itwasn't.
It wasn't like about for mewhat was so nice about it.
It wasn't like cause, like someguys, they take you somewhere
and they feel, they make youfeel like okay, well, let's go
to bed and we gotta be in theroom, and they make it like a
sexual thing, and this wasn'teven like that.

(57:06):
Like it was literally justchilling, Like, literally, just
like hanging out laughing,bugging out walking around
cracking jokes.

Styles (57:17):
Jumping to the yeah.
And that's fine.
How long did you know the guy,these important questions?

Karyn Elle (57:21):
Um, maybe I we've known each other for a couple of
years.
All right, cool, yeah, yeah.
So it wasn't like a completestranger, you know.

Styles (57:30):
Well, i mean I I hope it wasn't, but I'm just saying as
far as like cause.

Karyn Elle (57:34):
You said some guys, if you get flown out, of course,
if you get flown out, they'llfigure in as like a sexual thing
, Yes, so, yeah, so, likeusually when people invite me
and stuff like that, i don't goCause I don't want to be in that
situation, like, and Iliterally have a guy ask me out
and I'm like okay, and he's like, what do you want to do?
And I'm like, i don't know,plan something.

(57:54):
He's like, so what about Aruba?
I swear to God, i had a guy,was like I just called my travel
agent, we could go to Arubathis weekend, and I'm like I
don't even like you like that.
I don't even want to like I'mnot after shit.
What am I supposed to do?

Styles (58:08):
Like you, know, i don't even want to know what your
breast smells like, no, like.
How's that going to?

Karyn Elle (58:13):
Yes, So for some women that really really
impressed by that, for me I justI'm like oh no, i am We not
doing?
that We just been doing it fora really long time And it was
just a lot of fun, like it wasnothing like that, like I
literally chilling, laughing,bugging out drinking, just
having a good time.

Styles (58:30):
So yeah, curved at Aruba joint, that's okay, yeah.

Karyn Elle (58:34):
I mean I want to go to Aruba.

Styles (58:35):
I just don't want to go on.

Karyn Elle (58:37):
That's not the first guy.
I thought the guys be like yo.
I just got off the phone withmy travel agent.
I'm like yo, bro.
I said yes like 20 minutes ago,like you really need to bring
it down, But then and then it'slike I understand that $400.
Let me impress you, I get it,but it's also kind of cringy
because it's like now we got toshare a room.
I don't really know you likethat.

Styles (58:56):
Let's see the thing is.
I think that all right, sothey're just doing it wrong.

Karyn Elle (59:00):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Styles (59:01):
They're doing it wrong, like we could do the whole Aruba
thing.

Karyn Elle (59:04):
Yeah, just not today .
But you got to add a little.
you got to add no, no, no wecould do it today too.

Styles (59:09):
Yeah, you just got to add a little respect to it.
You get your own room.
These are the activities wegoing to do.

I mean you know I'll be like that type of shit.

Karyn Elle (59:16):
You got to build up to it.

Styles (59:17):
Yeah, i mean it's not wrong with you know going.
Well, actually there's a lotwrong with it, because Niggas is
just grainy Yeah.

Karyn Elle (59:25):
Oh yeah.
And they be thinking like oh,I'll take you away, Like that's
so impressive And I'm like, yeah, but you know, sir, I'm not
really like.
I don't want to be in thatsituation or that space with you
.
So nine times out of 10, Idon't go Like if it's not
somebody.
I'm comfortable with.
Like I feel safe where I'm notgoing.

Styles (59:45):
So let me rate your story from one to 10.
I bought a strong eight.

Karyn Elle (59:48):
Yeah, it was cool, i like it.

Styles (59:50):
Yeah, no, i'm just saying The only reason it
doesn't get like the.
We can get like the.
You know it wasn't a storyinside the story.
Now, the funny thing about thatis all my listeners will be
like you're stashing the fuck upbecause of the fact that Niggas
know I don't like the backstory.
Anyway, don't give me thebackstory, let's get to a good
part.

Karyn Elle (01:00:07):
Yeah.

Styles (01:00:08):
I'm waiting under that.
Just tell me, wake me up whenit gets.
Good, you know.

Yeah.

Styles (01:00:14):
And I'm sure that that.
So basically the other twopoints is just basically for
them, for me, as a 10.

Yeah, i think it's okay to go out with someone and
just have a good time with them,like I'm old school, like that,
like why you can't just causeI'm like I don't understand some
women.
Like some women could just lookat a man and be like, oh he's
handsome, he's so sexy, i wantto get with him.
And then I would talk to thatsame man and he would open his
mouth and I'd be like, but hedumbed in a month, like how?

Segment break (01:00:41):
you attracted to that.

I'm not attracted to like.
I'm a savior of sexual, so I'mnot attracted to like stupid
people, you know what I mean.
Like I don't care how goodlooking you are If you open your
mouth and you say some ignorantshit like I'm a hundred percent
turned off.
Turned off.

Styles (01:00:57):
Exactly.

I'm attracted to ambition, so Why do people not?

Styles (01:01:03):
I just need to be in a room full of motherfuckers like
that.

I am attracted to ambition.
I don't care how fine you areIf I talk to you, and I'd be
like yo.
so what you doing right now andyou giving me?
well, i'm working for my cousin, but then I'm working for my
auntie, but then I'm working formy uncle, but then I'm doing
this, but then I parked the carsand you don't really got no
goals in sight.

Styles (01:01:21):
He said I parked the car ?

No, cause it's had.
It has happened.
It has happened.
Some guy parked my car for meand he was telling me about his
cousin.
That was a football player.
And I'm like, sir, do you wantme to date your cousin?
Because, like this is notreally helping you, this
conversation right now.
Talk about am I cousin, is this, and I'm going to do this and
I'm going to manage him and I'mlike, but you parking my car,

(01:01:44):
sir, and I'm not saying thisthing wrong with that No, no, no
, we won't.

Styles (01:01:46):
We won't shame the parking.

I'm not shame in the parking, Dude, i'm saying you
pushing your plan, you pushingyour cousin, more than you
pushing what it is that you'redoing in your own life.
And I was like I'm attracted toambition, like if I meet a man
and he's fine but he's not doinganything with himself, i can't
be attracted to you Like I'm adry up, like the desert, like
there's nothing.

Styles (01:02:10):
That makes sense.
I don't know.
I don't know if other women arelike that.

I don't know if it's just me.

Styles (01:02:14):
I think that there are.
There are a lot.

Really, i never had that conversation.

Not very many about like being attracted to
ambition.
Like if you don't have noambition.

Styles (01:02:25):
I put.
I put it to you like this on myside of things, you pretty much
have, like, i guess, laid outeverything that I would be, i
would have been looking for,yeah Right, and what I guess I
found, because I'm not.
If it's the same thing, youcould be sexy as fuck the moment
you open your mouth and you saysomething crazy.

The moment you pronounce the s, the Ellen Simon
.

Styles (01:02:50):
So far I'm a curvy.
Oh, don't do that Let me askyou a question.
How do you, how do youpronounce Illinois though?

Illinois.

Styles (01:02:59):
Yeah, illinois, but you know that the s is silent though
, right, and I found that outbecause I actually did.

Illinois.

Styles (01:03:07):
I actually did.
My entire life I've been sayingIllinois, who the ass?
I saw them use.

I'm from the Bronx, i saw them use that word.

Styles (01:03:16):
What they got there, we don't even say Illinois, we just
say Chicago, right, yeah, fuckit The city.
We'll talk about the city.

Chicago.
I don't know where Illinois is.

Styles (01:03:26):
Chicago, yeah, so we don't got to use that word too
much where I'm from.
But I did.
It was down, So that was down.
I have to say I think that's itNow how do you pronounce that
word?

I don't know.
I think that's it.
It's Jan-yo, because that shitmade me feel incredibly dumb
Yeah.

Styles (01:03:45):
I was like ooh, is that what we doing?
Different states got their ownslang too.
You do know that.
just like New Yorkers, youunderstand that in, it doesn't
matter.

I understand that you trying to help us.
Like you pulled up with thelife raft and you like, come on
Stiles.
This is right out of here.
So what do?

Styles (01:04:01):
you do.
I say salmon all the time.

Yeah, No there's a whole, no, there's a lot of
people that say that, and everytime you know cause?
I teach English too, so everytime I hear it, i'm like yo, i
want to fight you, bro, come onnow, cause I'll say it right and
you'll still say it wrong,you're not trying, you're not
trying.

Styles (01:04:21):
So listen, this is the brunch out, where we are four
minutes over an hour.

Woo Dessert.
I hope you guys enjoyed yourmeal.
Can I get you something off ofour dessert menu?

Styles (01:04:35):
Mm-hmm.
So.
So this is the part of the showwhere we say goodbye with Grace
.

I love Grace.

Styles (01:04:44):
Yeah, so tell the people where they can find you.

Karenelle.
I'm streaming Save Love podcaston all major platforms, So I
heart Spotify, apple, odyssey,audible, pandora, pretty much
anywhere you get your podcast.
Save Love podcast is there.
You can catch me on my website,wwws-a-y-i-t-h.
Say it loud l-o-u-d.

(01:05:10):
Dot com for everything,karenelle, and everything that
we're doing.
And then social media I amKarenelle Twitter, instagram,
facebook.
All that good stuff.

Styles (01:05:20):
Okay, tell them what you're doing.
Why do you keep leaving outmorning motivation?
Why do you keep leaving out thefact that you wake
motherfuckers up in the morning?

Morning motivation every morning at 7.30 am on my
Instagram.
On my IG I am Karenelle, andthen there's like a whole bunch
of other stuff.
There's like merch and servicesI do.
I coach other people and startin podcasts and I do voiceover
work and all kinds of wonderfulthings.
I'm working on a Roku channelright now so that we could put

(01:05:50):
some Jammuidys together.
That's like comedy and dramaand you mush together It's
Jammuidys because it's like meAnd yeah, and then like yeah.
So that's what I'm working onthis year And then, hopefully by
the end of the year, my goal isto put together a sneaker ball
where a say-flaw podcast andKarenelle could raise money for
sickle cell and breast cancer,because they are.

(01:06:12):
I want to get back to thecommunity.
It's time we're in a placewhere we could do that, and so I
want to start raising money sothat we can support other people
in the communities that looklike me.
You know the stuff that they'regoing through And then yeah,
hopefully I'll be on the radiosoon and y'all could all listen
to me there.
So I'm working on a couple ofthings in the next couple of

(01:06:35):
months.
You know, We good, we good.

Styles (01:06:39):
Well, listen, I told you only have like friends and
family up in his mother's house.
Yeah, for sure Cover on Jay howis he?
it's not awkward I definitelyappreciate you you know
answering the call when I didyou know.
Anytime, you know, karenelle isan amazing person.

(01:07:03):
It's the drink I told you.
I'm mine, i'm mine.
No, i never did tell you.
It's like 15% alcohol and it'sa little motherfucker right
there.
Oh yeah, an amazing person, anamazing podcaster, an amazing
business woman just amazing.
How about that?

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Styles (01:07:23):
That's what it is.
Shout out to my beautiful wife,shout out to Bless Jasmine
Cohoes.
Shout out to Barbie from Let MeTouch You podcast, right
Cornerstone, to a lot of thingsthat I've done in the past, and
with that we will catch you onthe flip side.

(01:07:44):
It's that time again and sincewe really don't know how to say
goodbye, i'm not gonna saygoodbye, but listen what I will
ask.
Pause, i'm not even asking.
If you liked it.
Please don't forget to like,comment, subscribe and shit, and
that's homework.
Also, there is no.
Also, we'll catch you next week.
We'll save a seat at the tablefor you.

(01:08:05):
I, i, i.

Sound Bite (01:08:06):
I'm staying alive.
I'm staying alive, i'm stayingalive, i'm staying alive, i'm
staying alive, staying alive.

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