December 20, 2024 • 21 mins
What if I told you failure is actually the secret sauce to success? In this episode, we’re diving into the art of "disciplining disappointments" and how turning setbacks into comebacks is the real entrepreneurial flex. We’ll talk about why navigating those challenges isn’t just a “nice-to-have” but a must for growth. Get ready for some real talk, practical wisdom, and a few pro tips on how to turn your failures into stepping stones. It’s time to build resilience, stay laser-focused, and keep pushing through – because success isn’t a straight line, it’s a journey. Tune in for the fire you need to level up and crush your business goals!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Business Knowledge Podcast.
I'm your host, camille AnnJimenez-Familia.
Let's talk about discipliningyour disappointments In a season
, in a time, where a lot ofonline businesses are struggling
quarter four.
There's been a lot ofinteresting conversations that
I've been having in our coachinggroup as well as with our
(00:22):
clients in one-on-one coachingaround disappointments, around
failure.
How do you actually get pastfailure?
How do you discipline yourdisappointments in such a way
that you can actually failforward and use failure as a
catapult to your success?
So I hope that you enjoy thisepisode.
(00:44):
I'm going to encourage you, I'mgoing to pour into you, I'm
going to coach you from afar andI hope that my own failures, my
process, how I actually recoverfrom failure, helps you to
actually bounce back fromanything in your life that you
might be walking through rightnow.
That might be a challenge, thatmight be a disappointment, that
might feel like a failure inthis season coming up.
(01:06):
So listen, podcast peeps.
You guys are freaking amazing.
Thank you so much for all thelove.
On the latest episode, where wetalked about uh, the state of
the economy, what trump's winactually means for online
business owners, consumerconfidence, slow black friday,
slow quarter four, quarter four,quarter four and I really
(01:27):
appreciated all the messagesthat I got.
Um, these two stood out in thefan mail, but we got some email
ones and also some more here onthe podcast, so thank you so
much.
One person said this iseverything I've been reading and
seeing over the past four years.
You will own nothing and thegreat reset are must reads for
anyone to help them prepare forwhat's to come.
Great episode, charmaine.
(01:48):
Love you, charmaine.
Thank you so much.
I also got another episode fromsorry.
Another comment from Anonymous.
Kim, please do have a podcaston the economy.
I love hearing from you andyour husband on these topics as
you bring in the Christianperspective, and I love that
about your podcast.
So, anonymous, from GrandRapids, michigan, you're the
best.
I appreciate it.
(02:08):
Thank you so much, and we willabsolutely be releasing a
special segment all about theeconomy.
We even got, like our podcaststudios, set up our new podcast
studio so Chris and I can be inthe same room.
We will be able to discuss allthese topics, show you graphics
and, yeah, it's been a verypopular conversation inside of
(02:28):
our coaching program, so I'mexcited to bring you just a
little bit of that here on thepodcast too.
So let's talk about the power,the importance of disciplining
your disappointments.
This is a famous quote thatI've heard many, many times.
I've heard Tony Robbins talkabout it, but I think the origin
is from Jim Rohn, who's anamazing, incredible coach,
(02:51):
personal development guru andone of the things that has been
just a resounding sort ofgrounding framework for me.
Every time that I hit a wall, Ihit a challenge, I hit an
obstacle or I fail.
I just flat out fail on aproject, I fail on a promotion,
I fail on an offer, I fail on aclient relationship.
(03:13):
Failure is inevitable.
It's part of the journey.
It's part of growing as anentrepreneur and as a business
owner, and I feel like such fewpeople actually talk about
failure.
All we hear about on theinternet is about everyone's
successes.
Right, we see the highlightreel of their accomplishments.
Oh my gosh, this person youknow hit a million YouTube
(03:35):
subscribers and, look, they'rebecoming super popular and
influential.
This person is doing all therounds of all the podcasts.
They must be killing it.
And so we see the upside, theextreme.
You know the accolades of glory, but we don't actually see all
the work.
You know the sweat, the tears,the failures, the rejection, the
(03:55):
no's that person actually hadto go through to achieve that
success.
And so, every single time thatI have a major disappointment in
my business or I feel like Ihave failed, I remember this
quote by Jim Rohn disciplineyour disappointments.
Learn to navigate the emotionsand the feelings that come as a
(04:18):
result of failure.
And so one of the things thatI've been telling our clients
consistently is that we seem tohave this like fallacy in our
mind that all the people who aresucceeding, they just bat you
know a thousand and they neverfail at anything and everything
they do is perfect.
And that's not true, and I feellike it's been really
refreshing recently to see a lotof the online leaders like talk
(04:42):
about their failures.
I remember by accident watchingAli Abdaal's video on you know.
He said he failed on hiskeyboard business and or like
not his keyboard business, butlaunching his keyboard as part
of his new business I think it'scalled Light Mode and it's such
an amazing, touching videobecause he's actually walking
(05:03):
you through.
Um, you know all of the process.
Like he, he released hisamazing keyboard.
He uh, you know, didn't get thesales that he expected to get.
He dumped.
I think it was three hundredthousand dollars into this
business venture and then akeyboard expert, which I follow
because I'm into mechanicalkeyboards and that's how I found
the video, which is crazy justripped the keyboard to shreds.
(05:25):
I mean horrible review.
And I so respect Ali because hespecifically went and even like
clipped, you know, portions ofthat negative review and
actually shared it with hisaudience and talked about his
failures and responded to it,even talked to the guy and had
him on his channel to talk abouthis recommendations, and it's
(05:49):
really challenging to fail inpublic.
And so one of the things thatwe need to learn as
entrepreneurs and as onlinebusiness owners is like listen,
if you don't learn how to failin private, you're never going
to have the privilege ofsucceeding in public.
But know that every singlelevel is a new level of
expectation.
(06:09):
If you think failing in privateis hard, imagine how hard it is
to fail in public.
You know Ali has an amazingcommunity.
I think his channel is up tolike 6 million subscribers at
the time of this recording.
He has a very successfulbusiness, a very lucrative
business, but this projectfailed right, even though he has
launched so many amazing things.
This is a failure, at least inhis book, at least right now,
(06:33):
and so I think he showed somestatistics where he's only been
able to recoup like $26,000 ofhis $300,000 investment.
So not only is he really in thehole, right, he did not get the
orders he expected, now he alsohas like a little bit of bad PR
out there which everyone isgoing to get at some point.
So it's one of those thingswhere I want to encourage you,
because I noticed this patternwhen I'm coaching clients and I
(06:56):
this is exactly what I wentthrough too but we have a
failure, like a promotiondoesn't work, or a client gives
us really bad feedback, orsomeone bad mouthed us on the
internet, and immediately westart kind of at least as women
we do this a lot where we startlike really taking it very
personal and really questioning,you know, whether we're on the
(07:18):
right path, like what are weeven doing with our lives?
We have thoughts like, oh mygosh, am I just going in the
total wrong direction right now?
Do I need to rethink my entirebusiness?
Do I need to rethink myidentity?
Do I need to rethink the waythat I show up in the world?
And it's hard, becausecriticism is hard, rejection is
hard.
(07:38):
Failure is hard.
There is no getting around that.
I was even telling one of ourcoaching clients.
I was like, listen, the onlyway out is through.
The only way out is through.
I get the feelings.
It's valid to have negativeemotions.
It's valid to feel sad, to feelfrustrated, to feel angry, to
(07:59):
feel resentful, even to befrustrated and disappointed.
Feel the feelings, but do notunpack and live there.
You have to learn how to getback up and try again.
And if you allow the failure,if you allow the disappointment,
if you allow all those negativefeelings of rejection to
completely be the thing thatderails your progress and
(08:22):
ultimately keeps you fromachieving your mission, then the
devil has won.
One of my mentors, jenniferAlwood, she says this beautiful
thing.
She says the devil does twovery clever things.
Number one he distracts us.
Number two he discourages us.
If he can get you distractedand not focus on the right
(08:42):
things, and if he can discourageyou into stopping right, into
halting your progress, into justabandoning the mission
altogether, then he's won.
Don't give him that privilege.
Don't give them that joy to seeyou stop what you're doing
because it didn't work the firsttime or the second time, or the
(09:02):
third time or the fourth time.
Now I'm not saying that you needto be a masochist and just keep
trying the same thing over andover again until it works.
You do need to take a step backwhen you have failure, reflect.
Think about your game plan.
Think about how you're going toshift things.
Think about what rooms you needto be in, who do you need to
surround yourself with?
Who do you need to learn from?
Who do you need support from?
(09:24):
Right?
Rethink your strategy and thengo at it again.
But do not let one failure, onedisappointment, or a bunch of
failures and a bunch ofdisappointment completely derail
you from the calling that Godhas on your life, because at the
end of the day, we're all goingto fail.
In fact, I remember listening toJim Rohn and he was talking
(09:45):
about how, if you, you know, bateven just like one out of 10,
if you're batting like you'rebatting, average is like 10%.
If 10% of the time you'rewinning, you can make a living.
If you bat two out of 10, right.
So 20% of the time you'rewinning, eight of those 10
attempts are total and epicfailures is like you can make a
(10:08):
lot of money.
You will be in a really goodposition.
You will win at life.
But if you can bat three out of10, right, that's 30% of the
time you're winning.
70% of the time you're losing,which is what most of us do.
Right, if you get to 30%, youare going to be so wealthy,
you're going to have more moneythan you know what to do with.
(10:29):
You're going to really be an Aplayer and win at life.
And I thought, wow, that's areally good way of thinking
about it.
In fact, most of my mentors,most of the people that I follow
and have learned from and havesat at their feet and kind of
learned from their strategy.
I see them launch things and Isee them talk about their
(10:53):
failures behind closed doors,right, and group coaching
programs and one-on-one coachingprograms, and tell us about
these wild stories where theytried a bunch of different
things that just didn't work.
And I see that exact same thingin my life.
In my story.
I remember one specific mentortold me you know, kim, eight out
(11:13):
of every 10 Facebook adcampaigns that I launch epically
fail.
But the two that do well makeme millions of dollars a year.
And I was like, ooh, that'sactually super helpful.
See, that gives us context.
It helps us have a benchmarkthat we can orient ourselves and
really discipline ourdisappointments by understanding
(11:34):
that the reality that all of usare walking through is we are
going to experience more failurethan we do success, and that's
part of life, that's part ofgrowing a business, that's part
of learning, that's part ofevolving as an entrepreneur and
maturing and reaching that nextlevel of success.
In fact, I want to encourage youto think about failure as a
(11:56):
major learning experience.
I know it doesn't feel that way, especially when you're really
in it, but if you really thinkabout it, it's only a failure if
you did not learn from it.
I've heard that over and overagain from mentors and coaches
and people who've gone before me, and I feel like that's so true
.
Where's the learning experiencehere?
What is the thing that you'regoing to glean from this
(12:17):
disappointment, from thisfailure, from this painful
season?
The key is to get back up, tolearn, to readjust your strategy
and get back in the game.
I think Michael Jordan famouslysaid right, you miss 100% of the
shots that you don't take.
So if failure is the thingthat's going to prevent you from
taking the next shot, that's aproblem.
Another one of my mentors saidlisten, you get to pick your
(12:40):
suck, and I love this concept.
You know what sucks more.
Does the pain of failure suckmore, or does the pain of regret
, 20 years from now, that youdidn't actually get back up and
try something new suck more?
For me, the second one sucksmore.
My greatest fear in life isbeing on my deathbed and
(13:01):
realizing I wasted my life, Idid not reach my fullest
potential.
I have regrets about how Icould have, you know, really
answered the call that God hadon my life in bigger and more
meaningful ways.
So for me, I'd rather pushthrough that pain of failure.
I'd rather get back up, aspainful as it might be, as
(13:25):
uncomfortable, as challenging,as just draining as it might be,
as just draining as it might be.
I know that I am way moreconcerned about the fear or not
the fear, but the pain of regretthat I am about the pain of
failure.
So I'd rather just walk throughthat pain, push through that
(13:46):
pain and stay stuck and regretit 30, 40 years down the line.
Now I want to leave you withthis.
There's three things that I doafter I have a major
disappointment or a failure inmy life that are really, really
helped me.
I always tell our coachingclients listen, guys, you don't
get perfect at dealing withanything in business, right?
(14:08):
It's not like you get to acertain point and you're so
successful that you just win,win, win, win, win.
There's never something youfail at.
That's not the case right Inevery level.
You still experience a lot ofthe same things.
You're going to experiencedisappointment, you might
experience betrayal, you mightexperience failure.
I'm pretty sure you willexperience failure and you just
(14:29):
get better at dealing with allof that.
And so I've gone to a place inmy career where it's easier for
me to deal with failure now thanit was 10 years ago.
And it's probably gonna be eveneasier five years from now, 10
years from now, because I'vedone it and gone through it over
and over again and I have sometools and some resources that
help me get through the emotionsand the crazy chaos faster.
(14:54):
So the first thing for me is Ineed to get my mind right, I
need to get in prayer, I need toget in the word, I need to
journal, I need to go on a walk.
Those are like the four thingsthat really help me gain
perspective, Because if I justlisten to my emotions.
My emotions are going to tellme you need to stop this.
This hurts, this is too hard,this is too complicated.
(15:17):
There's way too muchresponsibility on your shoulders
right now.
You got to go in a differentdirection, girl.
This is not working out right.
My emotions will lead me toquit.
I know that every single time.
That's where my head will go,so I have to get perspective.
Single time, that's where myhead will go, so I have to get
perspective.
And the way that I getperspective is I ask for divine
wisdom, divine understanding.
(15:38):
Holy Spirit, help me understandwhere I went wrong.
Holy Spirit, help me discernbetween an actual failure and
just preparation for the nextplatform.
Help me discern between whatwas my responsibility and under
my control and what was pure,just seasons that are difficult,
(15:58):
markets that are difficultexternal conditions that I could
not control.
Help me gain perspective.
And then the second thing is Italked to my coach, right, but
if you don't have a coach, Ididn't have a coach at the
beginning.
I just went and I listened togreat podcasts, great YouTube
videos.
I just shared Jim Rohn.
He's one of my biggest personaldevelopment heroes.
(16:22):
I love him.
He's phenomenal.
He's since passed, but a lot ofhis content is on YouTube.
So I will go listen to a JimRohn talk, I will listen to a
Tony Robbins, I'll listen tosome of my mentors, some of the
people that I admire from afar,and I'll gain perspective.
You know, I talked about Ali inthe beginning.
I think Jasmine Starr also hadan amazing YouTube video about
(16:43):
one of her failures in herlaunch this year.
And just watching the realness,the rawness, the vulnerability,
the fact that these are twostrong leaders, um, that will
lead with strength but thenconnect with vulnerability, is
amazing.
Just to know, hey, I'm not theonly one.
There's other people who aregoing through this.
In fact, most people are goingthrough this.
(17:04):
They just don't necessarilytalk about it is really, really
helpful.
And then I give myself a peptalk.
I think getting to myself,getting to a place where I can
actually talk to myself about myfailure Sometimes I do this in
front of the mirror and I'm justlike listen, I know this is
hard, I know this sucks, I knowyou're hurting, baby girl, but
(17:25):
this is where you actually getto meet who you really are.
Okay, nothing shows you who youreally are, what your character
is like.
Then failure, then rejection,then criticism, then pain.
That's where you meet the realyou, and so I will talk to
myself in the mirror and be likewhat are you going to do?
Are you just going to sit downand feel sorry for yourself?
(17:47):
Are you just going to cry andjust give up Like, go ahead,
close the business, you know, goahead.
Close this program, go ahead.
You know, walk away.
Close this program, go ahead.
You know, walk away.
You have the option to do thatright now, but you know what
that means, right?
You're not going to be inobedience, you're not going to
reach the goals that you set outfor yourself and, unfortunately
(18:09):
, there's going to berepercussions for your future
and you're going to have to giveaccount at some point to God
about this decision.
So, are you doing this foryourself?
Is this your ego talking, orare you really thinking about
your?
Why?
Are you serving in the highestlevel?
Is this like the thing that Godhas called you to do?
And so?
I know that sounds like.
(18:30):
I know I'm a little rough onmyself, but that's just because
I'm a Puerto Rican.
My parents raised me to be likeOK, just roll, you know, a
little bit of dust, or not.
Just rub some dirt on it is theAmerican expression.
Rub some dirt on it and keepgoing.
And so that helps me.
It helps me.
It helps me check myself, to belike, yeah, I'm wallowing for
(18:51):
sure.
Yeah, I'm definitely fallinginto self-pity.
Like, yeah, you're right, Iprobably need to just get myself
together and keep moving, andthen I'll be like, listen, you
have a warrior inside of you.
I know what the Holy Spirit hasput in your heart.
Like you're all feminine andcute and you love all the girly
things, but there is somesavagery inside.
You know what I'm saying?
Like there is some fire, andthat fire is the thing that you
(19:14):
need to tap into when you feelat your lowest, when you don't
feel strong.
This is me talking to myself,not talking to you, in case it's
helpful, and that helps me toremember OK, this is who I am,
this is what God has called meto be.
Like I'm a.
I'm a warrior.
I need to just tap into, likemy brave heart era and just keep
moving forward.
That helps me a lot to justkind of shake it off and keep
(19:37):
moving forward, and then Icultivate joy and I do this in a
variety of ways.
For me, it's really making surethat I do something uplifting
that takes care of my soul, thatfills me up, because I still
acknowledge my feelings andacknowledge that it's hard to go
through a failure, adisappointment, some kind of
hurt.
So I like spending time with myfamily, with my friends.
(19:58):
I might go out and get amassage, I might go watch a
movie with Chris, I might cuddleup with my baby dogs on the
couch, whatever it is.
Maybe I'll do one of my hobbies.
Get outside, do something fun.
I do something for myself,something that helps me heal,
something that helps me moveforward, whether it's a small
failure or a really, really bigone.
(20:19):
And again, this might take youdays, it might take you weeks,
it might take you over a year,depending on how big of a
failure this is.
But the point here is not tonecessarily like judge yourself,
but to have tools, to have astrategy, to know how to deal
with disappointment and how todiscipline your disappointments
(20:39):
so that they don't become theobstacle that actually holds you
back from achieving the mission.
So, listen, I hope this episodewas helpful.
I hope that you got inspired.
If you did, would you send itto a friend?
Would you send it to somebodywho maybe is struggling with the
disappointments of failure,with the pain of going through a
tough season.
I would hope that this episodeencourages them, that it gives
(21:02):
them a lot to think about, sometools and some resources, so
that together we can continuewalking in the calling that God
has given each and every one ofus.
All right, I love you.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Un beso, bye for now.
Welcome to the Business Knowledge Podcast.
I'm your host, camille AnnJimenez-Familia.
Let's talk about discipliningyour disappointments In a season
, in a time, where a lot ofonline businesses are struggling
quarter four.
There's been a lot ofinteresting conversations that
I've been having in our coachinggroup as well as with our
(00:22):
clients in one-on-one coachingaround disappointments, around
failure.
How do you actually get pastfailure?
How do you discipline yourdisappointments in such a way
that you can actually failforward and use failure as a
catapult to your success?
So I hope that you enjoy thisepisode.
(00:44):
I'm going to encourage you, I'mgoing to pour into you, I'm
going to coach you from afar andI hope that my own failures, my
process, how I actually recoverfrom failure, helps you to
actually bounce back fromanything in your life that you
might be walking through rightnow.
That might be a challenge, thatmight be a disappointment, that
might feel like a failure inthis season coming up.
(01:06):
So listen, podcast peeps.
You guys are freaking amazing.
Thank you so much for all thelove.
On the latest episode, where wetalked about uh, the state of
the economy, what trump's winactually means for online
business owners, consumerconfidence, slow black friday,
slow quarter four, quarter four,quarter four and I really
(01:27):
appreciated all the messagesthat I got.
Um, these two stood out in thefan mail, but we got some email
ones and also some more here onthe podcast, so thank you so
much.
One person said this iseverything I've been reading and
seeing over the past four years.
You will own nothing and thegreat reset are must reads for
anyone to help them prepare forwhat's to come.
Great episode, charmaine.
(01:48):
Love you, charmaine.
Thank you so much.
I also got another episode fromsorry.
Another comment from Anonymous.
Kim, please do have a podcaston the economy.
I love hearing from you andyour husband on these topics as
you bring in the Christianperspective, and I love that
about your podcast.
So, anonymous, from GrandRapids, michigan, you're the
best.
I appreciate it.
(02:08):
Thank you so much, and we willabsolutely be releasing a
special segment all about theeconomy.
We even got, like our podcaststudios, set up our new podcast
studio so Chris and I can be inthe same room.
We will be able to discuss allthese topics, show you graphics
and, yeah, it's been a verypopular conversation inside of
(02:28):
our coaching program, so I'mexcited to bring you just a
little bit of that here on thepodcast too.
So let's talk about the power,the importance of disciplining
your disappointments.
This is a famous quote thatI've heard many, many times.
I've heard Tony Robbins talkabout it, but I think the origin
is from Jim Rohn, who's anamazing, incredible coach,
(02:51):
personal development guru andone of the things that has been
just a resounding sort ofgrounding framework for me.
Every time that I hit a wall, Ihit a challenge, I hit an
obstacle or I fail.
I just flat out fail on aproject, I fail on a promotion,
I fail on an offer, I fail on aclient relationship.
(03:13):
Failure is inevitable.
It's part of the journey.
It's part of growing as anentrepreneur and as a business
owner, and I feel like such fewpeople actually talk about
failure.
All we hear about on theinternet is about everyone's
successes.
Right, we see the highlightreel of their accomplishments.
Oh my gosh, this person youknow hit a million YouTube
(03:35):
subscribers and, look, they'rebecoming super popular and
influential.
This person is doing all therounds of all the podcasts.
They must be killing it.
And so we see the upside, theextreme.
You know the accolades of glory, but we don't actually see all
the work.
You know the sweat, the tears,the failures, the rejection, the
(03:55):
no's that person actually hadto go through to achieve that
success.
And so, every single time thatI have a major disappointment in
my business or I feel like Ihave failed, I remember this
quote by Jim Rohn disciplineyour disappointments.
Learn to navigate the emotionsand the feelings that come as a
(04:18):
result of failure.
And so one of the things thatI've been telling our clients
consistently is that we seem tohave this like fallacy in our
mind that all the people who aresucceeding, they just bat you
know a thousand and they neverfail at anything and everything
they do is perfect.
And that's not true, and I feellike it's been really
refreshing recently to see a lotof the online leaders like talk
(04:42):
about their failures.
I remember by accident watchingAli Abdaal's video on you know.
He said he failed on hiskeyboard business and or like
not his keyboard business, butlaunching his keyboard as part
of his new business I think it'scalled Light Mode and it's such
an amazing, touching videobecause he's actually walking
(05:03):
you through.
Um, you know all of the process.
Like he, he released hisamazing keyboard.
He uh, you know, didn't get thesales that he expected to get.
He dumped.
I think it was three hundredthousand dollars into this
business venture and then akeyboard expert, which I follow
because I'm into mechanicalkeyboards and that's how I found
the video, which is crazy justripped the keyboard to shreds.
(05:25):
I mean horrible review.
And I so respect Ali because hespecifically went and even like
clipped, you know, portions ofthat negative review and
actually shared it with hisaudience and talked about his
failures and responded to it,even talked to the guy and had
him on his channel to talk abouthis recommendations, and it's
(05:49):
really challenging to fail inpublic.
And so one of the things thatwe need to learn as
entrepreneurs and as onlinebusiness owners is like listen,
if you don't learn how to failin private, you're never going
to have the privilege ofsucceeding in public.
But know that every singlelevel is a new level of
expectation.
(06:09):
If you think failing in privateis hard, imagine how hard it is
to fail in public.
You know Ali has an amazingcommunity.
I think his channel is up tolike 6 million subscribers at
the time of this recording.
He has a very successfulbusiness, a very lucrative
business, but this projectfailed right, even though he has
launched so many amazing things.
This is a failure, at least inhis book, at least right now,
(06:33):
and so I think he showed somestatistics where he's only been
able to recoup like $26,000 ofhis $300,000 investment.
So not only is he really in thehole, right, he did not get the
orders he expected, now he alsohas like a little bit of bad PR
out there which everyone isgoing to get at some point.
So it's one of those thingswhere I want to encourage you,
because I noticed this patternwhen I'm coaching clients and I
(06:56):
this is exactly what I wentthrough too but we have a
failure, like a promotiondoesn't work, or a client gives
us really bad feedback, orsomeone bad mouthed us on the
internet, and immediately westart kind of at least as women
we do this a lot where we startlike really taking it very
personal and really questioning,you know, whether we're on the
(07:18):
right path, like what are weeven doing with our lives?
We have thoughts like, oh mygosh, am I just going in the
total wrong direction right now?
Do I need to rethink my entirebusiness?
Do I need to rethink myidentity?
Do I need to rethink the waythat I show up in the world?
And it's hard, becausecriticism is hard, rejection is
hard.
(07:38):
Failure is hard.
There is no getting around that.
I was even telling one of ourcoaching clients.
I was like, listen, the onlyway out is through.
The only way out is through.
I get the feelings.
It's valid to have negativeemotions.
It's valid to feel sad, to feelfrustrated, to feel angry, to
(07:59):
feel resentful, even to befrustrated and disappointed.
Feel the feelings, but do notunpack and live there.
You have to learn how to getback up and try again.
And if you allow the failure,if you allow the disappointment,
if you allow all those negativefeelings of rejection to
completely be the thing thatderails your progress and
(08:22):
ultimately keeps you fromachieving your mission, then the
devil has won.
One of my mentors, jenniferAlwood, she says this beautiful
thing.
She says the devil does twovery clever things.
Number one he distracts us.
Number two he discourages us.
If he can get you distractedand not focus on the right
(08:42):
things, and if he can discourageyou into stopping right, into
halting your progress, into justabandoning the mission
altogether, then he's won.
Don't give him that privilege.
Don't give them that joy to seeyou stop what you're doing
because it didn't work the firsttime or the second time, or the
(09:02):
third time or the fourth time.
Now I'm not saying that you needto be a masochist and just keep
trying the same thing over andover again until it works.
You do need to take a step backwhen you have failure, reflect.
Think about your game plan.
Think about how you're going toshift things.
Think about what rooms you needto be in, who do you need to
surround yourself with?
Who do you need to learn from?
Who do you need support from?
(09:24):
Right?
Rethink your strategy and thengo at it again.
But do not let one failure, onedisappointment, or a bunch of
failures and a bunch ofdisappointment completely derail
you from the calling that Godhas on your life, because at the
end of the day, we're all goingto fail.
In fact, I remember listening toJim Rohn and he was talking
(09:45):
about how, if you, you know, bateven just like one out of 10,
if you're batting like you'rebatting, average is like 10%.
If 10% of the time you'rewinning, you can make a living.
If you bat two out of 10, right.
So 20% of the time you'rewinning, eight of those 10
attempts are total and epicfailures is like you can make a
(10:08):
lot of money.
You will be in a really goodposition.
You will win at life.
But if you can bat three out of10, right, that's 30% of the
time you're winning.
70% of the time you're losing,which is what most of us do.
Right, if you get to 30%, youare going to be so wealthy,
you're going to have more moneythan you know what to do with.
(10:29):
You're going to really be an Aplayer and win at life.
And I thought, wow, that's areally good way of thinking
about it.
In fact, most of my mentors,most of the people that I follow
and have learned from and havesat at their feet and kind of
learned from their strategy.
I see them launch things and Isee them talk about their
(10:53):
failures behind closed doors,right, and group coaching
programs and one-on-one coachingprograms, and tell us about
these wild stories where theytried a bunch of different
things that just didn't work.
And I see that exact same thingin my life.
In my story.
I remember one specific mentortold me you know, kim, eight out
(11:13):
of every 10 Facebook adcampaigns that I launch epically
fail.
But the two that do well makeme millions of dollars a year.
And I was like, ooh, that'sactually super helpful.
See, that gives us context.
It helps us have a benchmarkthat we can orient ourselves and
really discipline ourdisappointments by understanding
(11:34):
that the reality that all of usare walking through is we are
going to experience more failurethan we do success, and that's
part of life, that's part ofgrowing a business, that's part
of learning, that's part ofevolving as an entrepreneur and
maturing and reaching that nextlevel of success.
In fact, I want to encourage youto think about failure as a
(11:56):
major learning experience.
I know it doesn't feel that way, especially when you're really
in it, but if you really thinkabout it, it's only a failure if
you did not learn from it.
I've heard that over and overagain from mentors and coaches
and people who've gone before me, and I feel like that's so true
.
Where's the learning experiencehere?
What is the thing that you'regoing to glean from this
(12:17):
disappointment, from thisfailure, from this painful
season?
The key is to get back up, tolearn, to readjust your strategy
and get back in the game.
I think Michael Jordan famouslysaid right, you miss 100% of the
shots that you don't take.
So if failure is the thingthat's going to prevent you from
taking the next shot, that's aproblem.
Another one of my mentors saidlisten, you get to pick your
(12:40):
suck, and I love this concept.
You know what sucks more.
Does the pain of failure suckmore, or does the pain of regret
, 20 years from now, that youdidn't actually get back up and
try something new suck more?
For me, the second one sucksmore.
My greatest fear in life isbeing on my deathbed and
(13:01):
realizing I wasted my life, Idid not reach my fullest
potential.
I have regrets about how Icould have, you know, really
answered the call that God hadon my life in bigger and more
meaningful ways.
So for me, I'd rather pushthrough that pain of failure.
I'd rather get back up, aspainful as it might be, as
(13:25):
uncomfortable, as challenging,as just draining as it might be,
as just draining as it might be.
I know that I am way moreconcerned about the fear or not
the fear, but the pain of regretthat I am about the pain of
failure.
So I'd rather just walk throughthat pain, push through that
(13:46):
pain and stay stuck and regretit 30, 40 years down the line.
Now I want to leave you withthis.
There's three things that I doafter I have a major
disappointment or a failure inmy life that are really, really
helped me.
I always tell our coachingclients listen, guys, you don't
get perfect at dealing withanything in business, right?
(14:08):
It's not like you get to acertain point and you're so
successful that you just win,win, win, win, win.
There's never something youfail at.
That's not the case right Inevery level.
You still experience a lot ofthe same things.
You're going to experiencedisappointment, you might
experience betrayal, you mightexperience failure.
I'm pretty sure you willexperience failure and you just
(14:29):
get better at dealing with allof that.
And so I've gone to a place inmy career where it's easier for
me to deal with failure now thanit was 10 years ago.
And it's probably gonna be eveneasier five years from now, 10
years from now, because I'vedone it and gone through it over
and over again and I have sometools and some resources that
help me get through the emotionsand the crazy chaos faster.
(14:54):
So the first thing for me is Ineed to get my mind right, I
need to get in prayer, I need toget in the word, I need to
journal, I need to go on a walk.
Those are like the four thingsthat really help me gain
perspective, Because if I justlisten to my emotions.
My emotions are going to tellme you need to stop this.
This hurts, this is too hard,this is too complicated.
(15:17):
There's way too muchresponsibility on your shoulders
right now.
You got to go in a differentdirection, girl.
This is not working out right.
My emotions will lead me toquit.
I know that every single time.
That's where my head will go,so I have to get perspective.
Single time, that's where myhead will go, so I have to get
perspective.
And the way that I getperspective is I ask for divine
wisdom, divine understanding.
(15:38):
Holy Spirit, help me understandwhere I went wrong.
Holy Spirit, help me discernbetween an actual failure and
just preparation for the nextplatform.
Help me discern between whatwas my responsibility and under
my control and what was pure,just seasons that are difficult,
(15:58):
markets that are difficultexternal conditions that I could
not control.
Help me gain perspective.
And then the second thing is Italked to my coach, right, but
if you don't have a coach, Ididn't have a coach at the
beginning.
I just went and I listened togreat podcasts, great YouTube
videos.
I just shared Jim Rohn.
He's one of my biggest personaldevelopment heroes.
(16:22):
I love him.
He's phenomenal.
He's since passed, but a lot ofhis content is on YouTube.
So I will go listen to a JimRohn talk, I will listen to a
Tony Robbins, I'll listen tosome of my mentors, some of the
people that I admire from afar,and I'll gain perspective.
You know, I talked about Ali inthe beginning.
I think Jasmine Starr also hadan amazing YouTube video about
(16:43):
one of her failures in herlaunch this year.
And just watching the realness,the rawness, the vulnerability,
the fact that these are twostrong leaders, um, that will
lead with strength but thenconnect with vulnerability, is
amazing.
Just to know, hey, I'm not theonly one.
There's other people who aregoing through this.
In fact, most people are goingthrough this.
(17:04):
They just don't necessarilytalk about it is really, really
helpful.
And then I give myself a peptalk.
I think getting to myself,getting to a place where I can
actually talk to myself about myfailure Sometimes I do this in
front of the mirror and I'm justlike listen, I know this is
hard, I know this sucks, I knowyou're hurting, baby girl, but
(17:25):
this is where you actually getto meet who you really are.
Okay, nothing shows you who youreally are, what your character
is like.
Then failure, then rejection,then criticism, then pain.
That's where you meet the realyou, and so I will talk to
myself in the mirror and be likewhat are you going to do?
Are you just going to sit downand feel sorry for yourself?
(17:47):
Are you just going to cry andjust give up Like, go ahead,
close the business, you know, goahead.
Close this program, go ahead.
You know, walk away.
Close this program, go ahead.
You know, walk away.
You have the option to do thatright now, but you know what
that means, right?
You're not going to be inobedience, you're not going to
reach the goals that you set outfor yourself and, unfortunately
(18:09):
, there's going to berepercussions for your future
and you're going to have to giveaccount at some point to God
about this decision.
So, are you doing this foryourself?
Is this your ego talking, orare you really thinking about
your?
Why?
Are you serving in the highestlevel?
Is this like the thing that Godhas called you to do?
And so?
I know that sounds like.
(18:30):
I know I'm a little rough onmyself, but that's just because
I'm a Puerto Rican.
My parents raised me to be likeOK, just roll, you know, a
little bit of dust, or not.
Just rub some dirt on it is theAmerican expression.
Rub some dirt on it and keepgoing.
And so that helps me.
It helps me.
It helps me check myself, to belike, yeah, I'm wallowing for
(18:51):
sure.
Yeah, I'm definitely fallinginto self-pity.
Like, yeah, you're right, Iprobably need to just get myself
together and keep moving, andthen I'll be like, listen, you
have a warrior inside of you.
I know what the Holy Spirit hasput in your heart.
Like you're all feminine andcute and you love all the girly
things, but there is somesavagery inside.
You know what I'm saying?
Like there is some fire, andthat fire is the thing that you
(19:14):
need to tap into when you feelat your lowest, when you don't
feel strong.
This is me talking to myself,not talking to you, in case it's
helpful, and that helps me toremember OK, this is who I am,
this is what God has called meto be.
Like I'm a.
I'm a warrior.
I need to just tap into, likemy brave heart era and just keep
moving forward.
That helps me a lot to justkind of shake it off and keep
(19:37):
moving forward, and then Icultivate joy and I do this in a
variety of ways.
For me, it's really making surethat I do something uplifting
that takes care of my soul, thatfills me up, because I still
acknowledge my feelings andacknowledge that it's hard to go
through a failure, adisappointment, some kind of
hurt.
So I like spending time with myfamily, with my friends.
(19:58):
I might go out and get amassage, I might go watch a
movie with Chris, I might cuddleup with my baby dogs on the
couch, whatever it is.
Maybe I'll do one of my hobbies.
Get outside, do something fun.
I do something for myself,something that helps me heal,
something that helps me moveforward, whether it's a small
failure or a really, really bigone.
(20:19):
And again, this might take youdays, it might take you weeks,
it might take you over a year,depending on how big of a
failure this is.
But the point here is not tonecessarily like judge yourself,
but to have tools, to have astrategy, to know how to deal
with disappointment and how todiscipline your disappointments
(20:39):
so that they don't become theobstacle that actually holds you
back from achieving the mission.
So, listen, I hope this episodewas helpful.
I hope that you got inspired.
If you did, would you send itto a friend?
Would you send it to somebodywho maybe is struggling with the
disappointments of failure,with the pain of going through a
tough season.
I would hope that this episodeencourages them, that it gives
(21:02):
them a lot to think about, sometools and some resources, so
that together we can continuewalking in the calling that God
has given each and every one ofus.
All right, I love you.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Un beso, bye for now.
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