January 24, 2019 • 44 mins
Justin talks about the state of the podcast, Innate fears and Parental Insecurity, and 2019 Parenting Trends.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:14):
Listen to Chase. Hello, andwelcome to the Dad Podcast. I'm your
(00:39):
host, Justin Worsham. It hasbeen too long. I shouldn't have left
you without a dope beat to steptwo, step two, step two,
step two, step two. Anybodyelse? What is that? Alicia Keys?
Is that what that situation is?I'm solo today because I'm coming off
the holidays. Obviously we only didthe episode with Doctor Jay. That was
not my intent. We also whatelse happened? We did? We just
(01:03):
did. We've got another episode forDoctor j But I'm I'm way behind the
gun on this stuff, and Iapologize so much. And I usually when
I do a first episode of theyear, I like to give kind of
like a state of the podcast.And so, as many of you know,
we've switched over to the paid format. So if you're new to the
(01:23):
show you found us in the newyear, the first twenty minutes of the
show is free, and then afterthat you have to be a paid subscriber.
You could do that by going tothe Dad podcast dot com. And
I don't know the exact numbers,but to be honest, there's not a
ton of people, which I getI wasn't expecting a ton. I had
(01:45):
about probably close to five thousand peoplelistening to the show beforehand, and I
fully expected to lose a lot,but in reality, what I did lose
was more than what I thought.So to say that Daddy's raking in the
dough would be a gross exaggeration.Probably about up to thirty people who are
paying about five bucks the show orfifty bucks a year depending. Most people
(02:06):
are doing five bucks a month forthat. So it's about the same money
that I was making before off ofthe show with advertisements, and I still
have some of that coming in.We finished up the sun Baskets campaign and
they're talking about coming back. Idon't know how it's all going to work,
but I tell you all of thisto basically say, so you know
(02:29):
where I'm coming from. So what'sgoing on in my life is I fully
intended to step down from the radiostation because it was going nowhere fast,
and my intent was that I'm goingto I was like, well, I'll
do this, I'll I will,I will, I'll do the podcast,
I'll do voice over. And mywife was like, well, I have
(02:52):
lots of people who were asking meif if she could be their real estate
agent. So I go, well, activate my license. I'll do that
on the side. But an actuality, what happened was is that I got
super super busy with the real estate, which again that's that's a quality problem
to have if you're in my book, and it's just been hard to keep
up. And then with the ideaof only making like one hundred bucks off
(03:13):
the podcast, it's hard to setaside time. And when I'm really learning
that with real estate, that there'syou know, you're you're good one minute
and then the next minute, somebody'scalling you and they you know, they
need something. And so I knowthat none of you are judging me.
I'm just trying to pay the billsfor me familia. The worsrooms aren't struggling.
It's not like we're starving or anythinglike that. Things could obviously be
worse. I'm not I'm not complaining. I just like to be transparent.
(03:37):
I like to like to say whatit is, and I don't like I
don't like I there's for a while, I don't like doing the solo episodes.
I know you've heard me go backand forth on this, and so
around the holidays it was hard tobook a guest and and make time and
then with my schedule, because sometimesI'll go, oh, i'll have I'll
when I get an hour free,then I'll do it. But then sometimes
the appointments start booking and I don'thave a full hour. It takes about
(04:00):
two hours that I need to makefree in order to do one episode of
the show, and that's not countinglike preparing for the show, which I
know it makes not seem like Ido, but I do a little bit,
or at least try to. ButI'm gonna do more of that.
So kind of my new game planis if I can't get an a guest,
right, if I can't get somebodyto sit in here with me,
then what I'm gonna try and dois I'll just do a solo episode that
(04:21):
week, so at least I'm notmissing out on episodes. Because it really
does hurt my heart to think thatpeople are paying for it and I'm not
delivering product. I don't I don'tlike that A couple of people have unsubscribed,
and I've sent apology emails and offeredto give them refunds. Ironically,
both of them did not know thatthey were unsubscribing. That was a complete
accident. So I am very appreciativeand thankful for the people slash fans that
(04:47):
I have on the show. Somy hope is that I can do some
talk about some stuff that's going onin my life and then also offer some
other interesting content so that it's notjust me sitting here blubbering for a whole
hour and such, and then we'llalso keep continuing, obviously with the episodes
with Doctor Jay. So I thinkthat's pretty much it. If you guys
(05:11):
have any questions, feel free tosend them show at the Dad podcast dot
com. If you think I'm ifI think I'm screwing up or anything like
that, do that as well.I like the feedback, I like the
interaction. I had a cool thinghappen. It's going to mess up as
far as when this was posted,but we got I got to meet Jessica,
one of the Hot Moms clubs atCalifornia Adventure because I was gonna happen
(05:33):
to be there as well, andso that was fun to get to hang
out with her kids and say hi, and obviously they were delightful, uh
and stuff like that. So anyway, so that's that's kind of where things
are within the podcast, and I'mat least gonna try to do this paid
format for a full year because myassumption is is that when I switched over
(05:56):
to it, that most of theyou that listen took it as an opportunity
to go back and listen to theyou know, there's got to be at
least eight years of old episodes thatyou could just catch up for that are
free of charge, which is fine, Like, I hold no ill will
towards that. So I figure I'llgive a year and see where it is,
and just aside from there, Idon't think I'll ever stop doing the
(06:17):
show. I just don't. Idon't see that, but I think I
might, you know, go goaway from the charging thing or something like
that. That's why I'm still savingall the money that comes in so I
can refund everybody if need be whenit's all said and done. But yeah,
so here's something that I wanted totalk to about. I had we
I go to these association meetings forthe for the Realtors Association that I'm a
(06:42):
member of, and they had thispsychologists come in and he said something that
I've just found fascinating that I thinknot only applies to obviously entrepreneurs or in
life, but I think it reallyapplies to parents today. He said that
you are born with two innate fears. Everything else is manifested at some point
in your life. So every humanbaby is born with the innate fear of
(07:06):
falling. That's why they will puttheir arms up, you know, because
that's their reflex. And then theyhave a fear of loud noises. But
anything else, like a fear ofheights, is for some reason that is
ingrained in use. It's manifested.And I don't know what this does for
you, but for me, hearingthat made me go, wait a minute,
(07:26):
that means that I have control overand you know what I mean like
that that it's at some point Idecided and we deal with this with our
kids, right Like my son usedto have a genuine fear of driveways,
like the slanted or any grade toconcrete or slope of a paved surface would
(07:46):
cause him panic. And I don'tknow where it came from. My guess
is is from climbing around on thehills up at my dad's cabin. But
I don't think it's that because henever really freaked out about that, but
he was and he never really felldown a driveway or roll down a driveway.
I don't know, but something hadto have happened, right based on
what this guy was saying, somethinghappened that just burned into him the fear
(08:09):
of an inclined surface or a driveway. And I think this applies to parenting
in this way that if you lookback at our parents not really afraid of
parenting. I don't know, maybeyou had a parent who was afraid,
but I think I think you morethan likely you had a parent like mine
(08:30):
who just was like, I'm doingit. Like there wasn't a lot of
anxiety that came with it. Youhad you had the stereotypical mom that worried,
right, that was that was anarchetype that existed. But it's just
to me, it's not at thelevel it is today. Like you worried
about a kid falling or something orgetting hurt, but the kids played out
inside until the street lights came onand were completely unsupervised. In fact,
(08:52):
you were yelled at to get outof the house. Not today today,
we not only worry about those kindsof things where we keep our kids in
the backyard, like even in realestate like people like, oh, there's
a front yard with a fence,so my kids can go on the front
yard. Like it's such a weirdthing to me. I mean, I
get it. It's not weird inthat I judge them. I'm just saying
(09:13):
it's it's interesting when you put itin context of our childhood. Is what
I'm getting at. And then youhave also are they going to the right
school? Who are their friends?Like? These are these are things that
parents today think about, and ifyou think about why, it's all based
in some kind of fear. It'sbased in the fear am I doing a
(09:33):
good enough job? And I knowthat kind of like the underlying tone most
of this is I just want tocome here and be honest. And I
know that I get a little heavyhanded or maybe modeling or melodramatic when I'm
so low, and it's because I'mhere not trying to entertain the other person
standing across from me. I'm herejust talking to you and more than likely
myself if anything. But I justI'm on this big kick of like what
(09:56):
about the idea of giving yourself thatgrace to not be afraid? I'm seeing
there's multiple research studies and trends thatare coming out that are seeing what the
pendulum swing. Right. So I'vetalked about it before. I do these
segments on KFI AM six forty outhere at Southern California and Parenting every week,
and we talked about how there wasa pendulum. There's a pendulum swing
(10:18):
for homework, but it's like itseems like every fifteen years or so,
there's like, oh, we haveto do homework. The kids aren't doing
enough. They're not they're not learningenough. And then it comes back,
well, they're not being kids enough, and so there's no homework right.
And right now we're in the nohomework phase at least here in Southern California,
whereas not five years ago, everybodywas doing homework in kindergarten. And
now the pendulum has finished swinging theother way and you're starting to see more
(10:43):
and more parents millennials are are embracingthe free range parenting style. That's another
trend that I've that I've seen comingback. And we're going to get into
more kind of fun light trends thatare coming into twenty nineteen. But I
think for me, I just Iwould like to see the trend go away
of parents being worried about being goodparents, because all of the experts that
(11:07):
I talked to have said that ifyou're worried, chances are you shouldn't be,
and maybe I need to even dropthe chances are maybe that doesn't help
you, because I just I justwant. I want for you, not
I don't think of it as somethingI can give, but I want for
you and for me too, tobe able to find comfort in your own
(11:30):
skin as a parent, and justto know that the love that you have
for your kid is enough, rightlike, you you don't have to love
your kid and expose them to acello violin gymnastics and ad have the best
goodie bags or be able to entertainforty of his friends and their family members
(11:52):
at a birthday party, and hedoesn't. You don't need to make sure
that they have the you know,the nicest clothes or shoes or the newest
phone or any of that stuff,right Like, just loving your kid is
enough. And if you just sendto your kid to a mediocre school,
it's still good enough, don't youthink. I Mean, I know I've
(12:18):
been there. I have I havedoubts just like you. I imagine I
mean, I hope that you're not. How great would that be if I'm
sitting you're going like, you know, you know, doubt and you're like,
no, I'm crushing this thing.Uh, good for you. And
it's interesting. I wonder if someonewho honestly felt like they were crushing parenting
would listen to a parenting podcast.Uh, because I don't, But I
(12:39):
don't know. I just you haveto at some level. They can't just
be my group of friends. Becauseeven the group of friends who are good
parents, right, everybody see theones that pick up or something that they're
kind of like the super parent.They all feel like they're they're struggling right,
that they're they're ruining their kids,and they're not like that's that's the
thing. And it just seems likeso much wasted energy. That's what I'm
(13:01):
getting at. It's wasted energy tosit there and worry and think about what
you're doing isn't right. And Iwould like to challenge you to try to
identify where that fear is coming fromand where manifested, because if it manifests,
if you could identify where it manifested, maybe you could do something to
have a little bit of less anxiety, and if you think about it's kind
(13:22):
of like me in this podcast.Right, It's the time that I have
to spend focusing on real estate isnot time I could focus on this podcast,
and it frustrates me. Right,The time I spent thinking about needing
to lose weight is not time Icould think about anything other than that,
right, which could be argued thatmy children are infinitely more important than me
trying to lose twenty pounds. ButI think about it, and what if
(13:48):
every time I think about it,what if that's fuel, right, fuel
that is that I'm burning by thinkingabout the fact that I need to lose
weight, the fact that I needto build this career and figure stuff out,
like to take care of my family, all of that stuff, right,
which I think is very normal forall of us. But then when
you add on top of that,the unnecessary anxiety of worrying whether or not
(14:11):
you're a good mother or a goodfather is asinine to me. I really,
I really think that. And Iget that they are bad parents out
there. I get that you knowbad parents. I know bad parents in
my opinion, I mean, butdo you are you the person who's sitting
here listening to me right now,who listens to a podcast that makes you
(14:33):
giggle hopefully maybe teaches you something,but more often makes you giggle. Are
you that person? Can you reallybe a bad parent? Because I think
more than likely you're not a badparent. You're a normal parent who's a
good parent or a great parent whohas moments of weakness, which is completely
(14:54):
allowed because if you are truly nailingit. If you listen back to the
episode with Jim Shields the f OnlyBoardroom eighteen Summers dot Com, he he
really blew my mind when he saidhe goes by you being so hard on
yourself, you could be unintentionally justprojecting that onto your kid. Where your
kid thinks, well, they subsequentlybecome hard on themselves and everything. And
(15:16):
that was big for me because Iwouldn't I wouldn't have qualified myself as somebody
who was hard on themselves. LikeI push myself, I expect a lot
of myself, but I wouldn't qualifymyself as that. There have been times
in my life where I felt insecure, like we all do. But if
you were to when you put itin that context, and I see my
son struggle with things when he justdoesn't seem to understand them right away.
(15:39):
And when I start to look atit, well, where does that manifest
from? If he only has afear of falling and a fear a loud
noises, where does this fear ofdoing everything right come from? And then
I start what I translate to,which is not the real problem right.
What I translate to is like,oh, that must be because I'm too
hard on him. I don't thinkso, because I'm not that hard on
him. I think that in reality, I think we're all too hard on
(16:03):
ourselves, and that we need tolearn to lighten up, and that our
kid doesn't need to be stimulated atevery turn. It doesn't. We're not
constantly needing to build a college resumefor your child, you know what I
mean? Baby Einstein isn't going tomake or break their life. That what
if? What if when you doless right you actually get to do more?
I learned that with budgeting. WhenI learned to budget money and save
(16:27):
money by reading Dave Ramsey's book TotalMoney Makeover, I realized that I didn't
need three jobs to live. Icould learn to live and do everything I
wanted to do within reason, obviously, but with one job and then life
started happening and we started making moremoney, right, and then it kind
of works itself out. But untilyou're managing that aspect of your life and
building a system where you don't haveto stress over it, then it doesn't
(16:49):
really work. And I just againto go back to it. I think
by stressing about your parenting, stressingabout that and I you understand, there's
a difference between thinking about it andstressing over it. Right that to think
about to go, oh, isI do that? You know, you
have a check in, but yougotta make sure that you're not it's not
transitioning into stress or anxiety or anythinglike that, because that burns fuel faster
(17:14):
than thinking. Right. Being calm, cool and collected is easy to process.
But when you spend a lot ofcalories, you're burning a lot of
calories going on, am I doingthe right thing? Or you have a
conversation with another parent, or youlook at another kid who's you know,
fluent in multiple languages and all thisstuff, it's like, I don't know,
like you can't, you can't letthat stuff get into you. Does
(17:36):
your kid know you'll love him?Right? And even that, I mean,
look the first thing pops into mymind when I said that, does
your kid know you love him?Like, well, I don't know does
he like you? And here's thething, because I worry. I'm like,
well, sure, I'm involved inthe boost your Club and I'm there,
I'm helping choclise Bob, I'm doingit all this stuff, But how
much of that is like directly goingto him, right? What are the
(17:59):
chances are that he what if hedoesn't see that is something that being for
him? Because most of the time, and I hate that they villainize parents
who are working in movies for kids, right, But every time they go
but dad, I want to tellyou about this alien that's trying to take
away play Like I'm working, right, that always makes us look like a
like ship birds because we're trying topay the bills. It drives me nuts
(18:19):
because I just feel like in today'sclimate, that's not what parents need.
And maybe I'm a colossal pus,maybe I maybe I don't get it,
but I think what parents in today'sworld that they need some grace, they
need some mercy, they need alittle bit of like, hey, you're
doing a good job, man,You're you're doing a good job, don't
don't worry about it. Don't worryabout it as much because how much of
(18:41):
what you're doing realistically moves the needleAnd I don't have the answer. That's
that's my frustration about the parenting thingis that you don't really know. I
see signs, I see signs thatthings are getting better, but it's like,
but then life happens and there's aturn. Like Jacob right now,
he I got called into the totalk to his teacher, and he's like,
he's the guy who does everything bythe book, but he's frustrated,
(19:03):
right, He's frustrated with his teacher, and so therefore he was talking back
to her mouth and off to herand I had to kind of get after
him and say, now, youdon't do that. That's disrespectful, dude,
and he gets it and I thinkit's corrected, but I don't know.
And then you got my other one, Jack, who's you know,
I think because we started him earlyon in kindergarten, he's, you know,
(19:23):
he's not quite caught up the wayJacob was six when he got into
kindergarten, because he was right thereat the cusp. So we decided to
wait. Jack was only born threemonths earlier in the year, so he
started just after he turned five,and he struggles a little bit academically,
Like I gotta get him in alittle extra push. But here's the thing.
If I was a friend hearing mesay that, and me being worried
(19:44):
about my kids, this is,honest to God, what I would say
to them. I would say that, yeah, but you're doing it right.
How could you be a bad parentwhen you were aware of all that
stuff and taking steps to help them? And it's impossible. It's unreasonable for
you to know whether or not thosedeeps are going to work because you've never
fucking done this before, even ifyou got a second kid. You got
(20:06):
four kids, right, Sure,you've changed multiple diapers, you've seen multiple
shades of shit in your life,you've been puked on multiple times, but
that doesn't account for their personality traitsand different You have to treat each kid
differently. I mean, that's howI see two kids. And even if
you don't treat them differently, don'tlook at that as a reason to beat
yourself up either, Like, justjust enjoy it. And I think,
(20:30):
honestly, as cliche as stupid asit sounds. I think the best way
to find time to enjoy it isto connect with the person you're there with,
right, like your your spouse,you know, you know, I
mean, like whoever whoever's in thiswith you. And if you're a single
parent, then I think you've gotto find other single parents. You got
to get friends that you can ventto. If not, then could send
(20:52):
me an email. I'll vent withyou. Multiple people have done it.
You send me an email and wejust go back and forth and or whatever.
Like. But I just I don'tknow. I hope I'm not beating
the dead horse here, but Ijust it's a big deal to me,
and I want everybody to not expectedto all be happy. I don't expect
every day to be great in familylife. It's not. But I do
(21:15):
think that your chances of having thatwill increase when you let go of the
pressure you're putting on yourself to nailand crush everything, right, I think,
I think so, that's my opinion. One of the things I want
to talk about is a is asubject that Oh, I have this intro
that I think you've only heard once. But whenever I do research for a
(21:38):
segment, I do on KF.I am six forty on the Gary and
Shannon Show. Sometimes we don't getto all of it, sometimes we do,
but I think I want to bringthose topics and stuff into the show,
especially when I'm doing a solo episode, because I do think it's interesting.
If you disagree and you do notlike when I do this, please
absolutely let me know, because especiallynow that we're in the paid part of
(21:59):
the show, this is for you, baby, So here we go.
I think that makes you go too. You want brain foods? I did
not know that brain food What exactlydoes that mean? So there's new trends
of parenting. I think we allwe all see these, uh pop up?
(22:19):
I don't. I'm never aware ofthis. I don't know if it's
because I'm not in the in crowdenough, or I'm not I'm not cool
enough, or maybe it's just becauseI'm a dude, which I like because
trust me, you know just aswell as I do. There's very few
dudesque things that I do, butno more gender reveals, which I kind
of I'm a fan of them.I know that I'm supposed to be cynical
(22:40):
about it and I'm supposed to hatethem, but I like it. I
like, I like stupid fun.I like promposals, right, I did
like what I was talking about earlier. I don't like it when people feel
the need. But if you wantto have fun, put on a little
show and uh pops up balloons thathave color in them or something to gender
review like, and your friends arecoming over to do it, like you
know, I just feel like youfuck the other people who don't like it,
(23:02):
Like you know what I mean,Like, do you really need that
in your life? Somebody who's gonnajudge you because you want to make a
pink cake to surprise yourself that you'rehaving a kid. Because here's the thing.
Sure, you probably don't do agender reveal when you're having your second
kid. Chances are unless you reallylove it, right, But why rob
(23:22):
yourself of any of the experiences ofthat stuff, right, Because see here's
the thing. Sure you could havethe cake, make it and it could
all fall apart and you don't likeit. Great, but at least you
know you did it instead of sittingthere going bullshit. You know. But
but yeah, I guess those aregoing the way of the Dodo. This
is very interesting and I think ithas to do with this. I have
insight into this because I'm a realestate agent full time now and I do
(23:45):
a lot of studying of the housingmarket and listen to a lot of podcasts
about it and partnered parenting. Partneredparenting are single parents leave living together to
raise kids, but not to otherromantically. So this is like, this
would be the Brady Bunch, exceptfor mister and Missus Brady did not become
(24:07):
mister and Missus Brady. They werejust friends who maybe went to high school
together or college or just knew eachother and happen to be divorced, but
there is no romantic involvement at all. Sixty six percent of Americans see single
moms as being bad for society,which I think is wildly insane. So
because of that that belief that feeling, more and more parents are moving in
(24:33):
together to share it. Now,this doesn't mean you got to find a
guy, right, I mean,unless that's your opinion that you're like,
oh, I really wish I hada stronger male role model in my kid's
life. This just means you gotto find somebody else, right, Because
there's also research that shows that kidswho have two dads or two moms are
not better or worse than kids whohave a mom and a dad, right,
But there is research that says thatstatistically, if you have a family,
(25:00):
right, that that they are morelikely to be okay. But again,
you kind of stick to the themethat I started the show with,
if you're a single parent, thatit's not an opportunity to beat yourself up,
right, Because trust me, asa guy who came from deforced parents,
and I know people whose parents probablyshould have split up or never been
together. It doesn't it's you knowwhat I mean, like you, it
doesn't just because of that one statisticdoes not make or break right. That's
(25:22):
there's a reason why it's anomalies.But I do think it's interesting to look
at trends like this and to seewhy to see that what the impact is
is that if if people in Americasee single moms as being bad for society,
you like to a number of abouttwo thirds, right, if that's
how they see, and then thatleads that bleeds into your self perception if
you are a single mom or asingle dad, right, then that's going
(25:45):
to make you behave differently. AndI don't know if you could do this,
but there is another thing that Italked about on the show, which
is called nesting, which I neverI don't even I couldn't have. I
don't know anybody who's still doing this. But this is where again this is
all related to the housing crisis too, that we the issue. The reason
why the houses are so expensive everywhere, no matter where you live right is
because there's just nobody building. There'snot enough houses out there because there's not
(26:10):
enough people who can make money indeveloping real estate right now. And then
the supplies everything weighs into it.So if there's nobody building houses here at
California, I think we're like ahalf a million houses behind staying with the
trend of what would be the demand. Okay, so if there's not a
lot of housing out there, andyou have on top of that two thirds
of Americans see single moms as beingbad for society, then that means that
(26:32):
people will cohabitate to either a splitthe cost of a house or be share
the burden parenting so that you're goingto have more time to work. Maybe.
But nesting is a thing where ifyou split up, you have a
house where the kids live, andthen you have a secondary place where the
person who's not watching the kids lives. And that's what's interesting is that to
add on top of the fact thatyou're split up, but also now you
(26:53):
have this element where you're still you'restill kind of cohabitating with the other person,
like because they still you're Like Ijust I don't know. I just
if Natalie and I were divorced andI had to go home and I had
to see the clutter that she makesin my house when I'm living with her.
Only now on top of that,I've got this added thing of like,
now I don't live with you,so I don't have to put on
a little bit of nicis, Idon't have to exercise my tolerance. I
(27:17):
don't know how it would make thingseasier, but I can't imagine how it
could make it easier for the kids. I mean, that's that's easy for
me to wrap my head around.I love this one. Flip phones are
making a comeback. Parents are becomingmore and more worried about their kids having
access to like the Internet and camerasand stuff like the smartphones. So what
they're doing is the market is shiftingwhere they're buying those those those parents who
(27:38):
are protective in that way are buyingold school flip phones. Now, even
the old school flip floones I stillsee, like I think they have a
camera, which I'm only saying thisnot is because it's a part of like
the new sex talk where you haveto talk about, you know, sending
pictures to each other because it's technicallychild pornography. So even the old flipflones
have cameras, which I'm assuming thekids want, but there's something about and
(28:00):
they still have texting. I'm guessingit's a little bit harder to text because
you still got to hit like fouror three times to have the letter I,
I would imagine. And I don'tknow. I don't know about you.
I think I'm not anti smartphone becauseI just want my kids. I
like, that's why I don't gettoo crazy about screen time, is because
I just feel like screens are sucha big part of life. Like there's
(28:21):
a lot of parents. I'm onthe school site council I have been for
quite a few years, and there'sa lot of parents who are worried about
the amount of time that the kidsare in front of screens at school,
like in front of computer screens,which again I think it's a valid concern.
I'm not saying that you're stupid forbeing concerned about it, but but
for me personally, I think,well, sure, be concerned about it,
but it's kind of a natural partof life, right, so if
(28:42):
you push against it, you know, like I just feel like it's it's
there's a certain level of evolution wherethe kids have to get used to monitoring
that, right. You have tohelp them learn to regulate video games and
stuff so they'll become obsessed, andthen also understanding the importance of getting outside,
going on a walk, that kindof stuff. And so and I
think that using computers in education seemsto be so efficient. It seems to
(29:06):
help a lot and uh, andsure it's at the cost of maybe more
human interaction. And I'm sure youhave tons of opinions about that, and
shooting my way if there's something I'mmissing, but I don't. I don't
have a problem with it. Soand the smartphone thing, to me,
I think what comes with the smartphoneis the ability to track my kid and
I just like, I don't know, I'm looking forward to my son's getting
(29:26):
older and becoming teenagers so they canhave these smartphones and then I could use
them to torture them. And Iknow that sounds crazy, but that's genuinely
how I feel this one. Ithink we talked about the pendulant swing earlier,
authoritative parenting, having expected This iswhat I love is that I would
have considered myself to be authoritative parenting. This is this is a new trend.
It's coming back, I guess,is how I would describe it.
(29:48):
But that authoritative parenting I would considermyself. I think I'm a little bit
more assertive and aggressive than I thinkyour average parent, but I don't really
know, right, That's that samething I was going to talk about the
getting in the show, is thatit's this kind of perception I have in
my head. But I love theway that they described it in this article.
Having expectations for kids, but providingthem with the resources and emotional support
(30:12):
they need to succeed. Listening toyour children and pivoting based on their opinions,
placing limits on their behavior, andfair and consistent discipline when rules are
broken, which to me, like, I don't know why. Maybe it's
the time we live in. MaybeI'm being a hypersensitive and maybe it's a
trigger word for me, I needa safe space. But that authoritative parenting
(30:33):
sounds like a general like a youknow what I mean, like a dictator,
But in actuality it sounds pretty reasonable. What I like about this,
I said earlier, is that youknow, the millennials are connecting more with
free range parents. The other thingis that they've developed their own term.
You've got the helicopter parent who's alwayshovering. They have what they call a
jet fighter parenting where they only swoopin in situations of emergency and they do
(30:55):
a quick fly by and then theyback off again. Because more and more
people are thinking that the more weget involved in our kids' faces too much,
that they are learning less and lessto cope and deal on their own.
And I think it's interesting, it'sfascinating to talk about. But I
mean, to me, how canyou argue am I seeing this? Am
I being biased here? Because howcan you argue with the idea of having
(31:15):
expectations right, but providing them resourcesand emotional support that they need to succeed.
Now, to me, that doesn'tmean that you have to give them
everything that you believe that they needto succeed, right. That it is
it's based on them and that youcan and that to me, authoritative parenting
might get a bad rep by saying, well, I don't listen. I
(31:36):
just make the rules and this ishow it is, which there is a
lot of that in my house.Of like, there are certain things like
when the teacher said my son wasmouthing off to her, I said,
that is not acceptable, and shegoes, well, I can understand his
frustration, I said, still doesn'tmatter. His frustration does not give him
the ability to mouth off to you. Right, He can have his frustration,
he can come home and express hisfrustration to me, right, because
(31:57):
more often than not, chances arethere's something that he is frustrated by that
has to do with him not understandingthe big picture just because of his age.
He's a smart kid. He's veryemotionally aware, very empathetic, right,
but there's stuff he's not getting thatmaybe I could break it down for
him, And that, to me, that's that's what listening to your kid
is. That does listening to yourkid doesn't mean that what they say goes
(32:20):
right, like that's that's not okay. But and then also I love this
idea pivoting based on their opinions rightthat you there's a certain level of like
you can be convinced of something,and I think that plays a lot in
my opinion. I don't know yet, but I think that'll come into play
for me when they become teenagers.I don't know about you, but I
think you have to that's that's aboutlearning to have a little bit of give
(32:44):
and take, you know, sothat as they start to flex their independence.
And then I think it's to methis is pretty common. Again I
don't know if I'm biased, butplacing limits on their behavior and fair and
consistent discipline when rules are broken,like you have, you have to do
that, I think. But Ithink oftentimes with like again, how I
started this, I think if youconsider yourself to be authoritative parent, that
sounds very middle of the road tome. But if you qualify yourself as
(33:07):
an authoritative parent, you just youthink you rule with an iron fist and
a dictator and there is no budgeor anything like that, and it's just
not true. Other things that arebig are subscription services, which I'm a
I love the idea of this.I wish there was more of this stuff.
But you could get baby food thatgets delivered on a regular basis,
toy kits, they have toy sharingalthough some of them are most of the
(33:29):
ones that I found online seem tobe going out of business. But the
toy sharing concept is that rather thanyou buying every new toy and your kid
playing with for three months and losinginterest and then you're donating it, which
seems to be the natural order ofthings, and especially now because more often
than not, like we had atoy box, right, but our kids
have room toys, rooms of toysand there's no room. They're almost like
(33:51):
they look like hoarders because they haveso many toys. At least maybe that's
my kids are not yours, butthat's we have regular purges and then we
donate them to the preschool or tosome kind of nonprofit organization. But it's
even getting to the point where Italk to somebody the other day, or
even the good Will is like Idon't want that, right, Like they're
getting so inundated with stuff that thegood Will that you know what I mean
like that, And I think that'sjust a reflection of how much people are
(34:14):
giving to their kids because it's accessible, it's cost effective or cheap. I
don't know how you want to putit. Another interesting subscription service is postpartum
recovery items. So they made thisjoke, but the Sitz bath or whatever
them. My wife hated that.Oh from her peasiotomy. She was not
happy. Another thing is grandparent only. Photo sharing is going to become a
(34:37):
big thing this year, which Ialways liked the idea of this. I
don't know how effective it is.I kind of want to. I've had
this fantasy of decorating my house onall digital photo frames, which is basically
what this is is that they haveeither a website they go to. But
I have this thing with my dad. He bought a digital photo frame and
I just email it photos and itthrows it into the shuffle. But it's
interesting because unless you stare it atlike a TV, you don't really get
(35:00):
to know if there are new picturesor whatever. But maybe that's part of
the fun and the delightful surprise.But tiny Beans is an app that lets
you share daily picks with specific people, and so that's another thing that you
just you could take pictures and thenthere and then those people subscribe, so
it's not like you're putting them onFacebook for mass consumption. Because I know
some people are really worried about that. Another thing that I think is really
(35:23):
interesting that parents are doing, andI'd be curious about this is fighting screen
time with audio books. I'm surea lot of you saw the viral video
that was going around to the kidwho was having Alexa help him with his
basic arithmetic homework, which I love. I don't think that kid was punished.
But if that kid figured something out, more power to him. That's
the way I see it, Andit's like, great, now we'll fix
(35:44):
it so you can have an actualeducation. But still, you know what
I mean, Like, how manyof you, honest to god, how
many of you know a friend's phonenumber by heart like you used to?
I don't. I don't know mybest friend's phone number. I know their
code, that's it. And ifso, if I didn't have my phone,
I know my wife's phone number.I'm trying to think. I don't
(36:06):
even know my dad's phone number.Wow, I just realize that. So
my point is is that we getthese things that make our life easier,
right, like a digital assistant,and people are using the Echo Google Home
and they're having them play audiobooks tohelp like kids relax at bedtime or it's
a it's a nice way, likeif you're cooking dinner, have the kid
(36:29):
listen to a story. I thinkit's best. I think any if I
was to ask doctor J about this, I bet you he would say,
no, you should be reading toyour kids. But if you know,
for some reason you don't have timeand you want them just to be able
to enjoy a story or something todo where they're not watching a show,
or something to listen to while they'replaying, I think, you know,
playing music and stuff like that isgreat. Like what a great way to
expose your kids to some nice classicrock or something. You know, something
(36:52):
that's good, that's cool that youcould share with your kid then while they're
playing in their room or something,and then ask them their opinion of it.
I guess I don't know. Butaudio books. I love audio books,
but I think that's an old person'sthing. But maybe you can get
your young toddler into them. Thereare apps like epic Epic that are eight
bucks a month and they give youlike a ton of audiobooks for kids,
(37:14):
like you even give them an agerange and they help you out. This
one I love. I wish wewould have add access to this. It's
the wireless breast pump. It's froma willow breastpump. It fits under your
braw so you can pump while youwork. It's four hundred and seventy nine
dollars or forty three dollars per monthif you do financing through them. But
(37:37):
you have to check out the websitesbecause there's a testimonial from a lady who's
a surgeon and she says now shepumps while she's in surgery, which I
just think. I think it's incredible. I just love everything. I don't
know if there's something flawed in mybrain or if you agree, but I
just love everything technological in this waywhere you could have a lady a two
week surgery. And maybe it's becauseit doesn't make the noise they say it's
(37:59):
really quiet, But I just lovethe idea of there being just like a
like that and people like going,what the hell is that noise while they're
having a conversation or whatever, Likedo you have to announce that you're pumping
your breast? Because when Natalie wouldpub you had like it was just just
ten decibels blow a dairy At thatpoint, I think was the pump that
we had, but I don't.And so they come with their own batteries,
(38:22):
so you charge them up and thenthey could travel and then you could
plug them in again to charge themwherever. I think they only have enough
charge to maybe do one pump session, I would imagine from what I read.
But I like that, and Iknow I don't want to get wildly
inappropriate, but that's me. I'mI'm fascinated too by the sex toy aspect
of this, of the doing theremote control thing. I can't I can't
(38:45):
really find a situation where it wouldwork. But um, I don't know
why I'm gonna. I'm gonna figureout what I need to. Maybe I
need to talk to Rachel about this, but I need to. I need
to satisfy or satiate that that curiositythat I have. Maybe that's what I'll
get from birthday. My birthday's comingup. I'll get that for myself,
not for me, obviously, Iwant to hit the button and see.
But here's the thing. As aguy, I always feel like every idea
(39:07):
that I have sexually is really nota turn on for my wife, you
know what I mean. So ifyou're a lady, listen to this.
Then you always operate under that assumption. I think I've said that before,
Like you have to go to himand say, hey, just so you
know, I think this would becool because whatever you're gonna say, chances
are he's always going to be okaywith it, unless it's bringing some other
(39:29):
black dude into the situation. Idon't know if all guys are comfortable enough
for that. How did I dothat? This is the danger of me
being by myself is that there's nobodyhere to look at me, going,
what the fuck are you talking about? Justin you just get stream of consciousness
from my crazy fucked up brain.A nursery decor. Now his birth stats.
So if you're pregnant and you arehaving an idea of like what do
(39:52):
I do like the trend? Idon't know if you're a pro trend,
but birth stats, so you putthe baby's weight and hide when they were
born. Also, like whimsy itwas geometric shapes was last year. I
did this segment last year, andnow it's whimsical forest themes, so they
feel like they're in a nice fairybook, like a storybook land or something
like that, where it's a lotof watercolors, you know, with trees,
(40:14):
Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh typestuff. In my mind, that's
what I'm seeing. So that's that'sall that stuff, that's those are the
new trends. If you see anythingthat's coming out there, please please please
please feel free to let me know. Let's do a little moment of the
week and wrap this up up.Sorry if it's a short episode. Also
by myself, but I have togo give keys to somebody that I helped
(40:36):
get a place, so my apologies. But let's do a little moment of
the week. You made them,you love them, and sometimes you want
to choke the living shit out ofthem, but occasionally they give you that
one sweet moment. This is thatmoment. Moment of the week rot to
(40:57):
you by dad gear All your childtraveling means back into stylish, practical perfection
designed by real dads, for realdads and moms. You'll be the guy
with a diaper purse, be theman with a dad Geart diaper backpack.
Go to dad geared dot com anduse promo code dad Podcast and checkout for
twenty percent savings. Made in theUSA. I had an awesome moment of
(41:19):
the week just recently. I'm gonnapick the most recent one. I'm gonna
be banking. I gotta make abunch of episodes this week to get caught
up with January. And if youwant your money back for December, please
let me know. Chances are I'mgonna do it anyway, unless I foolishly
forget. But it's one of thosethings that it'll pop in my head and
I'll go, oh, shout,I gotta do that, and then I'll
I'll get busy and I'll forget becauseI only did the one episode in December
(41:39):
and I feel bad about it.But anyway, that I went to California
Adventure with a friend of mine thatworks at Disney, and we had such
a great time. You know,if you have like a family that you
just get along with and everybody's cooland you can have great conversation even with
the kids like that kind of stuff. It was really, really great.
And at the end of the day, the ladies had to go to the
bathrooms, so I laid down ona bench because I was tired, and
(42:02):
I just thought it was funny asthe park was closing for people walking by
to see a dad asleep on thebench kind of and my sons curled up
next to me, Like Jack laidwhere kind of where my hip was.
He put that was a pillow,and Jacob kind of laid up where by
my chest was and just kind ofstuggle with me there and we just had
there. I don't know, I'ma sap for snuggles. I love snuggles,
big fan of snuggles across the boardand we got to do that and
(42:29):
it was really really really cool.And then we came home the next day
because I was there on Championship Sundayto give you a reference when this is
recorded, even though it's technically thefirst release episode of the year. But
I came home and uh, andwe watched the game and it was the
same kind of thing where we justkind of snuggled on the couch. I
missed the Champion of the Rams Championshipgame and so but I recorded it and
(42:50):
came home and watched it the nextmorning because the kids were at school on
Monday, and it was awesome.It was awesome, and uh, I
think I think that's it. Sothank you so much for listening. Thank
you for the patients. Don't forgetto check out the Staying Frosty with the
Dad podcast, although again the numbersare so small, so maybe this is
down the road. But the numbersof paid subscribers are so small that I
(43:12):
imagine that all of you are alreadyon this. So I apologize if I
am if I'm saying something like,yeah, I know, shit, Sherlock,
but I want to I want toshow to be kind of like this,
especially when I can't have a guest. I'm gonna pad it out a
little bit more where I'm gonna finda topic I want to. I think
it's fun. It came up withoutme even planning to talk about it,
but I want to kind of broachthe three subjects of family life, in
(43:34):
my opinion with this show. Ithink it'll and I want to bring more
content that I find information that's outthere. Not because I feel the need
to teach, but because I thinkit gives me stuff to talk about that
when I feel like my life isboring or uninteresting or I have nothing amusing
to say that maybe it'll give mesomething that will inspire me. So I
want to talk a little bit aboutsex each show, and I want to
(43:57):
talk a little bit about money showif you think there's another I might even
do like some uh some live hacksfor like and maybe this applies to the
money, but like the home economiclike you know, like cooking stuff like
that, Like I like, Ilike all of that stuff and so if
I find research about it, I'llbring it into the show. If you
like episodes like this, please letme know, send me an email show
at the dad podcast dot com.If you don't, also let me know
(44:22):
because I always appreciate the feedback.And uh, I hope, I hope
I'm not letting you down. Andum, I think that that is it.
So this is justin Warsham saying,hug your kids, hump your loved
one, and stay frosty my friends,
Listen to Chase. Hello, andwelcome to the Dad Podcast. I'm your
(00:39):
host, Justin Worsham. It hasbeen too long. I shouldn't have left
you without a dope beat to steptwo, step two, step two,
step two, step two. Anybodyelse? What is that? Alicia Keys?
Is that what that situation is?I'm solo today because I'm coming off
the holidays. Obviously we only didthe episode with Doctor Jay. That was
not my intent. We also whatelse happened? We did? We just
(01:03):
did. We've got another episode forDoctor j But I'm I'm way behind the
gun on this stuff, and Iapologize so much. And I usually when
I do a first episode of theyear, I like to give kind of
like a state of the podcast.And so, as many of you know,
we've switched over to the paid format. So if you're new to the
(01:23):
show you found us in the newyear, the first twenty minutes of the
show is free, and then afterthat you have to be a paid subscriber.
You could do that by going tothe Dad podcast dot com. And
I don't know the exact numbers,but to be honest, there's not a
ton of people, which I getI wasn't expecting a ton. I had
(01:45):
about probably close to five thousand peoplelistening to the show beforehand, and I
fully expected to lose a lot,but in reality, what I did lose
was more than what I thought.So to say that Daddy's raking in the
dough would be a gross exaggeration.Probably about up to thirty people who are
paying about five bucks the show orfifty bucks a year depending. Most people
(02:06):
are doing five bucks a month forthat. So it's about the same money
that I was making before off ofthe show with advertisements, and I still
have some of that coming in.We finished up the sun Baskets campaign and
they're talking about coming back. Idon't know how it's all going to work,
but I tell you all of thisto basically say, so you know
(02:29):
where I'm coming from. So what'sgoing on in my life is I fully
intended to step down from the radiostation because it was going nowhere fast,
and my intent was that I'm goingto I was like, well, I'll
do this, I'll I will,I will, I'll do the podcast,
I'll do voice over. And mywife was like, well, I have
(02:52):
lots of people who were asking meif if she could be their real estate
agent. So I go, well, activate my license. I'll do that
on the side. But an actuality, what happened was is that I got
super super busy with the real estate, which again that's that's a quality problem
to have if you're in my book, and it's just been hard to keep
up. And then with the ideaof only making like one hundred bucks off
(03:13):
the podcast, it's hard to setaside time. And when I'm really learning
that with real estate, that there'syou know, you're you're good one minute
and then the next minute, somebody'scalling you and they you know, they
need something. And so I knowthat none of you are judging me.
I'm just trying to pay the billsfor me familia. The worsrooms aren't struggling.
It's not like we're starving or anythinglike that. Things could obviously be
worse. I'm not I'm not complaining. I just like to be transparent.
(03:37):
I like to like to say whatit is, and I don't like I
don't like I there's for a while, I don't like doing the solo episodes.
I know you've heard me go backand forth on this, and so
around the holidays it was hard tobook a guest and and make time and
then with my schedule, because sometimesI'll go, oh, i'll have I'll
when I get an hour free,then I'll do it. But then sometimes
the appointments start booking and I don'thave a full hour. It takes about
(04:00):
two hours that I need to makefree in order to do one episode of
the show, and that's not countinglike preparing for the show, which I
know it makes not seem like Ido, but I do a little bit,
or at least try to. ButI'm gonna do more of that.
So kind of my new game planis if I can't get an a guest,
right, if I can't get somebodyto sit in here with me,
then what I'm gonna try and dois I'll just do a solo episode that
(04:21):
week, so at least I'm notmissing out on episodes. Because it really
does hurt my heart to think thatpeople are paying for it and I'm not
delivering product. I don't I don'tlike that A couple of people have unsubscribed,
and I've sent apology emails and offeredto give them refunds. Ironically,
both of them did not know thatthey were unsubscribing. That was a complete
accident. So I am very appreciativeand thankful for the people slash fans that
(04:47):
I have on the show. Somy hope is that I can do some
talk about some stuff that's going onin my life and then also offer some
other interesting content so that it's notjust me sitting here blubbering for a whole
hour and such, and then we'llalso keep continuing, obviously with the episodes
with Doctor Jay. So I thinkthat's pretty much it. If you guys
(05:11):
have any questions, feel free tosend them show at the Dad podcast dot
com. If you think I'm ifI think I'm screwing up or anything like
that, do that as well.I like the feedback, I like the
interaction. I had a cool thinghappen. It's going to mess up as
far as when this was posted,but we got I got to meet Jessica,
one of the Hot Moms clubs atCalifornia Adventure because I was gonna happen
(05:33):
to be there as well, andso that was fun to get to hang
out with her kids and say hi, and obviously they were delightful, uh
and stuff like that. So anyway, so that's that's kind of where things
are within the podcast, and I'mat least gonna try to do this paid
format for a full year because myassumption is is that when I switched over
(05:56):
to it, that most of theyou that listen took it as an opportunity
to go back and listen to theyou know, there's got to be at
least eight years of old episodes thatyou could just catch up for that are
free of charge, which is fine, Like, I hold no ill will
towards that. So I figure I'llgive a year and see where it is,
and just aside from there, Idon't think I'll ever stop doing the
(06:17):
show. I just don't. Idon't see that, but I think I
might, you know, go goaway from the charging thing or something like
that. That's why I'm still savingall the money that comes in so I
can refund everybody if need be whenit's all said and done. But yeah,
so here's something that I wanted totalk to about. I had we
I go to these association meetings forthe for the Realtors Association that I'm a
(06:42):
member of, and they had thispsychologists come in and he said something that
I've just found fascinating that I thinknot only applies to obviously entrepreneurs or in
life, but I think it reallyapplies to parents today. He said that
you are born with two innate fears. Everything else is manifested at some point
in your life. So every humanbaby is born with the innate fear of
(07:06):
falling. That's why they will puttheir arms up, you know, because
that's their reflex. And then theyhave a fear of loud noises. But
anything else, like a fear ofheights, is for some reason that is
ingrained in use. It's manifested.And I don't know what this does for
you, but for me, hearingthat made me go, wait a minute,
(07:26):
that means that I have control overand you know what I mean like
that that it's at some point Idecided and we deal with this with our
kids, right Like my son usedto have a genuine fear of driveways,
like the slanted or any grade toconcrete or slope of a paved surface would
(07:46):
cause him panic. And I don'tknow where it came from. My guess
is is from climbing around on thehills up at my dad's cabin. But
I don't think it's that because henever really freaked out about that, but
he was and he never really felldown a driveway or roll down a driveway.
I don't know, but something hadto have happened, right based on
what this guy was saying, somethinghappened that just burned into him the fear
(08:09):
of an inclined surface or a driveway. And I think this applies to parenting
in this way that if you lookback at our parents not really afraid of
parenting. I don't know, maybeyou had a parent who was afraid,
but I think I think you morethan likely you had a parent like mine
(08:30):
who just was like, I'm doingit. Like there wasn't a lot of
anxiety that came with it. Youhad you had the stereotypical mom that worried,
right, that was that was anarchetype that existed. But it's just
to me, it's not at thelevel it is today. Like you worried
about a kid falling or something orgetting hurt, but the kids played out
inside until the street lights came onand were completely unsupervised. In fact,
(08:52):
you were yelled at to get outof the house. Not today today,
we not only worry about those kindsof things where we keep our kids in
the backyard, like even in realestate like people like, oh, there's
a front yard with a fence,so my kids can go on the front
yard. Like it's such a weirdthing to me. I mean, I
get it. It's not weird inthat I judge them. I'm just saying
(09:13):
it's it's interesting when you put itin context of our childhood. Is what
I'm getting at. And then youhave also are they going to the right
school? Who are their friends?Like? These are these are things that
parents today think about, and ifyou think about why, it's all based
in some kind of fear. It'sbased in the fear am I doing a
(09:33):
good enough job? And I knowthat kind of like the underlying tone most
of this is I just want tocome here and be honest. And I
know that I get a little heavyhanded or maybe modeling or melodramatic when I'm
so low, and it's because I'mhere not trying to entertain the other person
standing across from me. I'm herejust talking to you and more than likely
myself if anything. But I justI'm on this big kick of like what
(09:56):
about the idea of giving yourself thatgrace to not be afraid? I'm seeing
there's multiple research studies and trends thatare coming out that are seeing what the
pendulum swing. Right. So I'vetalked about it before. I do these
segments on KFI AM six forty outhere at Southern California and Parenting every week,
and we talked about how there wasa pendulum. There's a pendulum swing
(10:18):
for homework, but it's like itseems like every fifteen years or so,
there's like, oh, we haveto do homework. The kids aren't doing
enough. They're not they're not learningenough. And then it comes back,
well, they're not being kids enough, and so there's no homework right.
And right now we're in the nohomework phase at least here in Southern California,
whereas not five years ago, everybodywas doing homework in kindergarten. And
now the pendulum has finished swinging theother way and you're starting to see more
(10:43):
and more parents millennials are are embracingthe free range parenting style. That's another
trend that I've that I've seen comingback. And we're going to get into
more kind of fun light trends thatare coming into twenty nineteen. But I
think for me, I just Iwould like to see the trend go away
of parents being worried about being goodparents, because all of the experts that
(11:07):
I talked to have said that ifyou're worried, chances are you shouldn't be,
and maybe I need to even dropthe chances are maybe that doesn't help
you, because I just I justwant. I want for you, not
I don't think of it as somethingI can give, but I want for
you and for me too, tobe able to find comfort in your own
(11:30):
skin as a parent, and justto know that the love that you have
for your kid is enough, rightlike, you you don't have to love
your kid and expose them to acello violin gymnastics and ad have the best
goodie bags or be able to entertainforty of his friends and their family members
(11:52):
at a birthday party, and hedoesn't. You don't need to make sure
that they have the you know,the nicest clothes or shoes or the newest
phone or any of that stuff,right Like, just loving your kid is
enough. And if you just sendto your kid to a mediocre school,
it's still good enough, don't youthink. I Mean, I know I've
(12:18):
been there. I have I havedoubts just like you. I imagine I
mean, I hope that you're not. How great would that be if I'm
sitting you're going like, you know, you know, doubt and you're like,
no, I'm crushing this thing.Uh, good for you. And
it's interesting. I wonder if someonewho honestly felt like they were crushing parenting
would listen to a parenting podcast.Uh, because I don't, But I
(12:39):
don't know. I just you haveto at some level. They can't just
be my group of friends. Becauseeven the group of friends who are good
parents, right, everybody see theones that pick up or something that they're
kind of like the super parent.They all feel like they're they're struggling right,
that they're they're ruining their kids,and they're not like that's that's the
thing. And it just seems likeso much wasted energy. That's what I'm
(13:01):
getting at. It's wasted energy tosit there and worry and think about what
you're doing isn't right. And Iwould like to challenge you to try to
identify where that fear is coming fromand where manifested, because if it manifests,
if you could identify where it manifested, maybe you could do something to
have a little bit of less anxiety, and if you think about it's kind
(13:22):
of like me in this podcast.Right, It's the time that I have
to spend focusing on real estate isnot time I could focus on this podcast,
and it frustrates me. Right,The time I spent thinking about needing
to lose weight is not time Icould think about anything other than that,
right, which could be argued thatmy children are infinitely more important than me
trying to lose twenty pounds. ButI think about it, and what if
(13:48):
every time I think about it,what if that's fuel, right, fuel
that is that I'm burning by thinkingabout the fact that I need to lose
weight, the fact that I needto build this career and figure stuff out,
like to take care of my family, all of that stuff, right,
which I think is very normal forall of us. But then when
you add on top of that,the unnecessary anxiety of worrying whether or not
(14:11):
you're a good mother or a goodfather is asinine to me. I really,
I really think that. And Iget that they are bad parents out
there. I get that you knowbad parents. I know bad parents in
my opinion, I mean, butdo you are you the person who's sitting
here listening to me right now,who listens to a podcast that makes you
(14:33):
giggle hopefully maybe teaches you something,but more often makes you giggle. Are
you that person? Can you reallybe a bad parent? Because I think
more than likely you're not a badparent. You're a normal parent who's a
good parent or a great parent whohas moments of weakness, which is completely
(14:54):
allowed because if you are truly nailingit. If you listen back to the
episode with Jim Shields the f OnlyBoardroom eighteen Summers dot Com, he he
really blew my mind when he saidhe goes by you being so hard on
yourself, you could be unintentionally justprojecting that onto your kid. Where your
kid thinks, well, they subsequentlybecome hard on themselves and everything. And
(15:16):
that was big for me because Iwouldn't I wouldn't have qualified myself as somebody
who was hard on themselves. LikeI push myself, I expect a lot
of myself, but I wouldn't qualifymyself as that. There have been times
in my life where I felt insecure, like we all do. But if
you were to when you put itin that context, and I see my
son struggle with things when he justdoesn't seem to understand them right away.
(15:39):
And when I start to look atit, well, where does that manifest
from? If he only has afear of falling and a fear a loud
noises, where does this fear ofdoing everything right come from? And then
I start what I translate to,which is not the real problem right.
What I translate to is like,oh, that must be because I'm too
hard on him. I don't thinkso, because I'm not that hard on
him. I think that in reality, I think we're all too hard on
(16:03):
ourselves, and that we need tolearn to lighten up, and that our
kid doesn't need to be stimulated atevery turn. It doesn't. We're not
constantly needing to build a college resumefor your child, you know what I
mean? Baby Einstein isn't going tomake or break their life. That what
if? What if when you doless right you actually get to do more?
I learned that with budgeting. WhenI learned to budget money and save
(16:27):
money by reading Dave Ramsey's book TotalMoney Makeover, I realized that I didn't
need three jobs to live. Icould learn to live and do everything I
wanted to do within reason, obviously, but with one job and then life
started happening and we started making moremoney, right, and then it kind
of works itself out. But untilyou're managing that aspect of your life and
building a system where you don't haveto stress over it, then it doesn't
(16:49):
really work. And I just againto go back to it. I think
by stressing about your parenting, stressingabout that and I you understand, there's
a difference between thinking about it andstressing over it. Right that to think
about to go, oh, isI do that? You know, you
have a check in, but yougotta make sure that you're not it's not
transitioning into stress or anxiety or anythinglike that, because that burns fuel faster
(17:14):
than thinking. Right. Being calm, cool and collected is easy to process.
But when you spend a lot ofcalories, you're burning a lot of
calories going on, am I doingthe right thing? Or you have a
conversation with another parent, or youlook at another kid who's you know,
fluent in multiple languages and all thisstuff, it's like, I don't know,
like you can't, you can't letthat stuff get into you. Does
(17:36):
your kid know you'll love him?Right? And even that, I mean,
look the first thing pops into mymind when I said that, does
your kid know you love him?Like, well, I don't know does
he like you? And here's thething, because I worry. I'm like,
well, sure, I'm involved inthe boost your Club and I'm there,
I'm helping choclise Bob, I'm doingit all this stuff, But how
much of that is like directly goingto him, right? What are the
(17:59):
chances are that he what if hedoesn't see that is something that being for
him? Because most of the time, and I hate that they villainize parents
who are working in movies for kids, right, But every time they go
but dad, I want to tellyou about this alien that's trying to take
away play Like I'm working, right, that always makes us look like a
like ship birds because we're trying topay the bills. It drives me nuts
(18:19):
because I just feel like in today'sclimate, that's not what parents need.
And maybe I'm a colossal pus,maybe I maybe I don't get it,
but I think what parents in today'sworld that they need some grace, they
need some mercy, they need alittle bit of like, hey, you're
doing a good job, man,You're you're doing a good job, don't
don't worry about it. Don't worryabout it as much because how much of
(18:41):
what you're doing realistically moves the needleAnd I don't have the answer. That's
that's my frustration about the parenting thingis that you don't really know. I
see signs, I see signs thatthings are getting better, but it's like,
but then life happens and there's aturn. Like Jacob right now,
he I got called into the totalk to his teacher, and he's like,
he's the guy who does everything bythe book, but he's frustrated,
(19:03):
right, He's frustrated with his teacher, and so therefore he was talking back
to her mouth and off to herand I had to kind of get after
him and say, now, youdon't do that. That's disrespectful, dude,
and he gets it and I thinkit's corrected, but I don't know.
And then you got my other one, Jack, who's you know,
I think because we started him earlyon in kindergarten, he's, you know,
(19:23):
he's not quite caught up the wayJacob was six when he got into
kindergarten, because he was right thereat the cusp. So we decided to
wait. Jack was only born threemonths earlier in the year, so he
started just after he turned five,and he struggles a little bit academically,
Like I gotta get him in alittle extra push. But here's the thing.
If I was a friend hearing mesay that, and me being worried
(19:44):
about my kids, this is,honest to God, what I would say
to them. I would say that, yeah, but you're doing it right.
How could you be a bad parentwhen you were aware of all that
stuff and taking steps to help them? And it's impossible. It's unreasonable for
you to know whether or not thosedeeps are going to work because you've never
fucking done this before, even ifyou got a second kid. You got
(20:06):
four kids, right, Sure,you've changed multiple diapers, you've seen multiple
shades of shit in your life,you've been puked on multiple times, but
that doesn't account for their personality traitsand different You have to treat each kid
differently. I mean, that's howI see two kids. And even if
you don't treat them differently, don'tlook at that as a reason to beat
yourself up either, Like, justjust enjoy it. And I think,
(20:30):
honestly, as cliche as stupid asit sounds. I think the best way
to find time to enjoy it isto connect with the person you're there with,
right, like your your spouse,you know, you know, I
mean, like whoever whoever's in thiswith you. And if you're a single
parent, then I think you've gotto find other single parents. You got
to get friends that you can ventto. If not, then could send
(20:52):
me an email. I'll vent withyou. Multiple people have done it.
You send me an email and wejust go back and forth and or whatever.
Like. But I just I don'tknow. I hope I'm not beating
the dead horse here, but Ijust it's a big deal to me,
and I want everybody to not expectedto all be happy. I don't expect
every day to be great in familylife. It's not. But I do
(21:15):
think that your chances of having thatwill increase when you let go of the
pressure you're putting on yourself to nailand crush everything, right, I think,
I think so, that's my opinion. One of the things I want
to talk about is a is asubject that Oh, I have this intro
that I think you've only heard once. But whenever I do research for a
(21:38):
segment, I do on KF.I am six forty on the Gary and
Shannon Show. Sometimes we don't getto all of it, sometimes we do,
but I think I want to bringthose topics and stuff into the show,
especially when I'm doing a solo episode, because I do think it's interesting.
If you disagree and you do notlike when I do this, please
absolutely let me know, because especiallynow that we're in the paid part of
(21:59):
the show, this is for you, baby, So here we go.
I think that makes you go too. You want brain foods? I did
not know that brain food What exactlydoes that mean? So there's new trends
of parenting. I think we allwe all see these, uh pop up?
(22:19):
I don't. I'm never aware ofthis. I don't know if it's
because I'm not in the in crowdenough, or I'm not I'm not cool
enough, or maybe it's just becauseI'm a dude, which I like because
trust me, you know just aswell as I do. There's very few
dudesque things that I do, butno more gender reveals, which I kind
of I'm a fan of them.I know that I'm supposed to be cynical
(22:40):
about it and I'm supposed to hatethem, but I like it. I
like, I like stupid fun.I like promposals, right, I did
like what I was talking about earlier. I don't like it when people feel
the need. But if you wantto have fun, put on a little
show and uh pops up balloons thathave color in them or something to gender
review like, and your friends arecoming over to do it, like you
know, I just feel like youfuck the other people who don't like it,
(23:02):
Like you know what I mean,Like, do you really need that
in your life? Somebody who's gonnajudge you because you want to make a
pink cake to surprise yourself that you'rehaving a kid. Because here's the thing.
Sure, you probably don't do agender reveal when you're having your second
kid. Chances are unless you reallylove it, right, But why rob
(23:22):
yourself of any of the experiences ofthat stuff, right, Because see here's
the thing. Sure you could havethe cake, make it and it could
all fall apart and you don't likeit. Great, but at least you
know you did it instead of sittingthere going bullshit. You know. But
but yeah, I guess those aregoing the way of the Dodo. This
is very interesting and I think ithas to do with this. I have
insight into this because I'm a realestate agent full time now and I do
(23:45):
a lot of studying of the housingmarket and listen to a lot of podcasts
about it and partnered parenting. Partneredparenting are single parents leave living together to
raise kids, but not to otherromantically. So this is like, this
would be the Brady Bunch, exceptfor mister and Missus Brady did not become
(24:07):
mister and Missus Brady. They werejust friends who maybe went to high school
together or college or just knew eachother and happen to be divorced, but
there is no romantic involvement at all. Sixty six percent of Americans see single
moms as being bad for society,which I think is wildly insane. So
because of that that belief that feeling, more and more parents are moving in
(24:33):
together to share it. Now,this doesn't mean you got to find a
guy, right, I mean,unless that's your opinion that you're like,
oh, I really wish I hada stronger male role model in my kid's
life. This just means you gotto find somebody else, right, Because
there's also research that shows that kidswho have two dads or two moms are
not better or worse than kids whohave a mom and a dad, right,
But there is research that says thatstatistically, if you have a family,
(25:00):
right, that that they are morelikely to be okay. But again,
you kind of stick to the themethat I started the show with,
if you're a single parent, thatit's not an opportunity to beat yourself up,
right, Because trust me, asa guy who came from deforced parents,
and I know people whose parents probablyshould have split up or never been
together. It doesn't it's you knowwhat I mean, like you, it
doesn't just because of that one statisticdoes not make or break right. That's
(25:22):
there's a reason why it's anomalies.But I do think it's interesting to look
at trends like this and to seewhy to see that what the impact is
is that if if people in Americasee single moms as being bad for society,
you like to a number of abouttwo thirds, right, if that's
how they see, and then thatleads that bleeds into your self perception if
you are a single mom or asingle dad, right, then that's going
(25:45):
to make you behave differently. AndI don't know if you could do this,
but there is another thing that Italked about on the show, which
is called nesting, which I neverI don't even I couldn't have. I
don't know anybody who's still doing this. But this is where again this is
all related to the housing crisis too, that we the issue. The reason
why the houses are so expensive everywhere, no matter where you live right is
because there's just nobody building. There'snot enough houses out there because there's not
(26:10):
enough people who can make money indeveloping real estate right now. And then
the supplies everything weighs into it.So if there's nobody building houses here at
California, I think we're like ahalf a million houses behind staying with the
trend of what would be the demand. Okay, so if there's not a
lot of housing out there, andyou have on top of that two thirds
of Americans see single moms as beingbad for society, then that means that
(26:32):
people will cohabitate to either a splitthe cost of a house or be share
the burden parenting so that you're goingto have more time to work. Maybe.
But nesting is a thing where ifyou split up, you have a
house where the kids live, andthen you have a secondary place where the
person who's not watching the kids lives. And that's what's interesting is that to
add on top of the fact thatyou're split up, but also now you
(26:53):
have this element where you're still you'restill kind of cohabitating with the other person,
like because they still you're Like Ijust I don't know. I just
if Natalie and I were divorced andI had to go home and I had
to see the clutter that she makesin my house when I'm living with her.
Only now on top of that,I've got this added thing of like,
now I don't live with you,so I don't have to put on
a little bit of nicis, Idon't have to exercise my tolerance. I
(27:17):
don't know how it would make thingseasier, but I can't imagine how it
could make it easier for the kids. I mean, that's that's easy for
me to wrap my head around.I love this one. Flip phones are
making a comeback. Parents are becomingmore and more worried about their kids having
access to like the Internet and camerasand stuff like the smartphones. So what
they're doing is the market is shiftingwhere they're buying those those those parents who
(27:38):
are protective in that way are buyingold school flip phones. Now, even
the old school flip floones I stillsee, like I think they have a
camera, which I'm only saying thisnot is because it's a part of like
the new sex talk where you haveto talk about, you know, sending
pictures to each other because it's technicallychild pornography. So even the old flipflones
have cameras, which I'm assuming thekids want, but there's something about and
(28:00):
they still have texting. I'm guessingit's a little bit harder to text because
you still got to hit like fouror three times to have the letter I,
I would imagine. And I don'tknow. I don't know about you.
I think I'm not anti smartphone becauseI just want my kids. I
like, that's why I don't gettoo crazy about screen time, is because
I just feel like screens are sucha big part of life. Like there's
(28:21):
a lot of parents. I'm onthe school site council I have been for
quite a few years, and there'sa lot of parents who are worried about
the amount of time that the kidsare in front of screens at school,
like in front of computer screens,which again I think it's a valid concern.
I'm not saying that you're stupid forbeing concerned about it, but but
for me personally, I think,well, sure, be concerned about it,
but it's kind of a natural partof life, right, so if
(28:42):
you push against it, you know, like I just feel like it's it's
there's a certain level of evolution wherethe kids have to get used to monitoring
that, right. You have tohelp them learn to regulate video games and
stuff so they'll become obsessed, andthen also understanding the importance of getting outside,
going on a walk, that kindof stuff. And so and I
think that using computers in education seemsto be so efficient. It seems to
(29:06):
help a lot and uh, andsure it's at the cost of maybe more
human interaction. And I'm sure youhave tons of opinions about that, and
shooting my way if there's something I'mmissing, but I don't. I don't
have a problem with it. Soand the smartphone thing, to me,
I think what comes with the smartphoneis the ability to track my kid and
I just like, I don't know, I'm looking forward to my son's getting
(29:26):
older and becoming teenagers so they canhave these smartphones and then I could use
them to torture them. And Iknow that sounds crazy, but that's genuinely
how I feel this one. Ithink we talked about the pendulant swing earlier,
authoritative parenting, having expected This iswhat I love is that I would
have considered myself to be authoritative parenting. This is this is a new trend.
It's coming back, I guess,is how I would describe it.
(29:48):
But that authoritative parenting I would considermyself. I think I'm a little bit
more assertive and aggressive than I thinkyour average parent, but I don't really
know, right, That's that samething I was going to talk about the
getting in the show, is thatit's this kind of perception I have in
my head. But I love theway that they described it in this article.
Having expectations for kids, but providingthem with the resources and emotional support
(30:12):
they need to succeed. Listening toyour children and pivoting based on their opinions,
placing limits on their behavior, andfair and consistent discipline when rules are
broken, which to me, like, I don't know why. Maybe it's
the time we live in. MaybeI'm being a hypersensitive and maybe it's a
trigger word for me, I needa safe space. But that authoritative parenting
(30:33):
sounds like a general like a youknow what I mean, like a dictator,
But in actuality it sounds pretty reasonable. What I like about this,
I said earlier, is that youknow, the millennials are connecting more with
free range parents. The other thingis that they've developed their own term.
You've got the helicopter parent who's alwayshovering. They have what they call a
jet fighter parenting where they only swoopin in situations of emergency and they do
(30:55):
a quick fly by and then theyback off again. Because more and more
people are thinking that the more weget involved in our kids' faces too much,
that they are learning less and lessto cope and deal on their own.
And I think it's interesting, it'sfascinating to talk about. But I
mean, to me, how canyou argue am I seeing this? Am
I being biased here? Because howcan you argue with the idea of having
(31:15):
expectations right, but providing them resourcesand emotional support that they need to succeed.
Now, to me, that doesn'tmean that you have to give them
everything that you believe that they needto succeed, right. That it is
it's based on them and that youcan and that to me, authoritative parenting
might get a bad rep by saying, well, I don't listen. I
(31:36):
just make the rules and this ishow it is, which there is a
lot of that in my house.Of like, there are certain things like
when the teacher said my son wasmouthing off to her, I said,
that is not acceptable, and shegoes, well, I can understand his
frustration, I said, still doesn'tmatter. His frustration does not give him
the ability to mouth off to you. Right, He can have his frustration,
he can come home and express hisfrustration to me, right, because
(31:57):
more often than not, chances arethere's something that he is frustrated by that
has to do with him not understandingthe big picture just because of his age.
He's a smart kid. He's veryemotionally aware, very empathetic, right,
but there's stuff he's not getting thatmaybe I could break it down for
him, And that, to me, that's that's what listening to your kid
is. That does listening to yourkid doesn't mean that what they say goes
(32:20):
right, like that's that's not okay. But and then also I love this
idea pivoting based on their opinions rightthat you there's a certain level of like
you can be convinced of something,and I think that plays a lot in
my opinion. I don't know yet, but I think that'll come into play
for me when they become teenagers.I don't know about you, but I
think you have to that's that's aboutlearning to have a little bit of give
(32:44):
and take, you know, sothat as they start to flex their independence.
And then I think it's to methis is pretty common. Again I
don't know if I'm biased, butplacing limits on their behavior and fair and
consistent discipline when rules are broken,like you have, you have to do
that, I think. But Ithink oftentimes with like again, how I
started this, I think if youconsider yourself to be authoritative parent, that
sounds very middle of the road tome. But if you qualify yourself as
(33:07):
an authoritative parent, you just youthink you rule with an iron fist and
a dictator and there is no budgeor anything like that, and it's just
not true. Other things that arebig are subscription services, which I'm a
I love the idea of this.I wish there was more of this stuff.
But you could get baby food thatgets delivered on a regular basis,
toy kits, they have toy sharingalthough some of them are most of the
(33:29):
ones that I found online seem tobe going out of business. But the
toy sharing concept is that rather thanyou buying every new toy and your kid
playing with for three months and losinginterest and then you're donating it, which
seems to be the natural order ofthings, and especially now because more often
than not, like we had atoy box, right, but our kids
have room toys, rooms of toysand there's no room. They're almost like
(33:51):
they look like hoarders because they haveso many toys. At least maybe that's
my kids are not yours, butthat's we have regular purges and then we
donate them to the preschool or tosome kind of nonprofit organization. But it's
even getting to the point where Italk to somebody the other day, or
even the good Will is like Idon't want that, right, Like they're
getting so inundated with stuff that thegood Will that you know what I mean
like that, And I think that'sjust a reflection of how much people are
(34:14):
giving to their kids because it's accessible, it's cost effective or cheap. I
don't know how you want to putit. Another interesting subscription service is postpartum
recovery items. So they made thisjoke, but the Sitz bath or whatever
them. My wife hated that.Oh from her peasiotomy. She was not
happy. Another thing is grandparent only. Photo sharing is going to become a
(34:37):
big thing this year, which Ialways liked the idea of this. I
don't know how effective it is.I kind of want to. I've had
this fantasy of decorating my house onall digital photo frames, which is basically
what this is is that they haveeither a website they go to. But
I have this thing with my dad. He bought a digital photo frame and
I just email it photos and itthrows it into the shuffle. But it's
interesting because unless you stare it atlike a TV, you don't really get
(35:00):
to know if there are new picturesor whatever. But maybe that's part of
the fun and the delightful surprise.But tiny Beans is an app that lets
you share daily picks with specific people, and so that's another thing that you
just you could take pictures and thenthere and then those people subscribe, so
it's not like you're putting them onFacebook for mass consumption. Because I know
some people are really worried about that. Another thing that I think is really
(35:23):
interesting that parents are doing, andI'd be curious about this is fighting screen
time with audio books. I'm surea lot of you saw the viral video
that was going around to the kidwho was having Alexa help him with his
basic arithmetic homework, which I love. I don't think that kid was punished.
But if that kid figured something out, more power to him. That's
the way I see it, Andit's like, great, now we'll fix
(35:44):
it so you can have an actualeducation. But still, you know what
I mean, Like, how manyof you, honest to god, how
many of you know a friend's phonenumber by heart like you used to?
I don't. I don't know mybest friend's phone number. I know their
code, that's it. And ifso, if I didn't have my phone,
I know my wife's phone number.I'm trying to think. I don't
(36:06):
even know my dad's phone number.Wow, I just realize that. So
my point is is that we getthese things that make our life easier,
right, like a digital assistant,and people are using the Echo Google Home
and they're having them play audiobooks tohelp like kids relax at bedtime or it's
a it's a nice way, likeif you're cooking dinner, have the kid
(36:29):
listen to a story. I thinkit's best. I think any if I
was to ask doctor J about this, I bet you he would say,
no, you should be reading toyour kids. But if you know,
for some reason you don't have timeand you want them just to be able
to enjoy a story or something todo where they're not watching a show,
or something to listen to while they'replaying, I think, you know,
playing music and stuff like that isgreat. Like what a great way to
expose your kids to some nice classicrock or something. You know, something
(36:52):
that's good, that's cool that youcould share with your kid then while they're
playing in their room or something,and then ask them their opinion of it.
I guess I don't know. Butaudio books. I love audio books,
but I think that's an old person'sthing. But maybe you can get
your young toddler into them. Thereare apps like epic Epic that are eight
bucks a month and they give youlike a ton of audiobooks for kids,
(37:14):
like you even give them an agerange and they help you out. This
one I love. I wish wewould have add access to this. It's
the wireless breast pump. It's froma willow breastpump. It fits under your
braw so you can pump while youwork. It's four hundred and seventy nine
dollars or forty three dollars per monthif you do financing through them. But
(37:37):
you have to check out the websitesbecause there's a testimonial from a lady who's
a surgeon and she says now shepumps while she's in surgery, which I
just think. I think it's incredible. I just love everything. I don't
know if there's something flawed in mybrain or if you agree, but I
just love everything technological in this waywhere you could have a lady a two
week surgery. And maybe it's becauseit doesn't make the noise they say it's
(37:59):
really quiet, But I just lovethe idea of there being just like a
like that and people like going,what the hell is that noise while they're
having a conversation or whatever, Likedo you have to announce that you're pumping
your breast? Because when Natalie wouldpub you had like it was just just
ten decibels blow a dairy At thatpoint, I think was the pump that
we had, but I don't.And so they come with their own batteries,
(38:22):
so you charge them up and thenthey could travel and then you could
plug them in again to charge themwherever. I think they only have enough
charge to maybe do one pump session, I would imagine from what I read.
But I like that, and Iknow I don't want to get wildly
inappropriate, but that's me. I'mI'm fascinated too by the sex toy aspect
of this, of the doing theremote control thing. I can't I can't
(38:45):
really find a situation where it wouldwork. But um, I don't know
why I'm gonna. I'm gonna figureout what I need to. Maybe I
need to talk to Rachel about this, but I need to. I need
to satisfy or satiate that that curiositythat I have. Maybe that's what I'll
get from birthday. My birthday's comingup. I'll get that for myself,
not for me, obviously, Iwant to hit the button and see.
But here's the thing. As aguy, I always feel like every idea
(39:07):
that I have sexually is really nota turn on for my wife, you
know what I mean. So ifyou're a lady, listen to this.
Then you always operate under that assumption. I think I've said that before,
Like you have to go to himand say, hey, just so you
know, I think this would becool because whatever you're gonna say, chances
are he's always going to be okaywith it, unless it's bringing some other
(39:29):
black dude into the situation. Idon't know if all guys are comfortable enough
for that. How did I dothat? This is the danger of me
being by myself is that there's nobodyhere to look at me, going,
what the fuck are you talking about? Justin you just get stream of consciousness
from my crazy fucked up brain.A nursery decor. Now his birth stats.
So if you're pregnant and you arehaving an idea of like what do
(39:52):
I do like the trend? Idon't know if you're a pro trend,
but birth stats, so you putthe baby's weight and hide when they were
born. Also, like whimsy itwas geometric shapes was last year. I
did this segment last year, andnow it's whimsical forest themes, so they
feel like they're in a nice fairybook, like a storybook land or something
like that, where it's a lotof watercolors, you know, with trees,
(40:14):
Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh typestuff. In my mind, that's
what I'm seeing. So that's that'sall that stuff, that's those are the
new trends. If you see anythingthat's coming out there, please please please
please feel free to let me know. Let's do a little moment of the
week and wrap this up up.Sorry if it's a short episode. Also
by myself, but I have togo give keys to somebody that I helped
(40:36):
get a place, so my apologies. But let's do a little moment of
the week. You made them,you love them, and sometimes you want
to choke the living shit out ofthem, but occasionally they give you that
one sweet moment. This is thatmoment. Moment of the week rot to
(40:57):
you by dad gear All your childtraveling means back into stylish, practical perfection
designed by real dads, for realdads and moms. You'll be the guy
with a diaper purse, be theman with a dad Geart diaper backpack.
Go to dad geared dot com anduse promo code dad Podcast and checkout for
twenty percent savings. Made in theUSA. I had an awesome moment of
(41:19):
the week just recently. I'm gonnapick the most recent one. I'm gonna
be banking. I gotta make abunch of episodes this week to get caught
up with January. And if youwant your money back for December, please
let me know. Chances are I'mgonna do it anyway, unless I foolishly
forget. But it's one of thosethings that it'll pop in my head and
I'll go, oh, shout,I gotta do that, and then I'll
I'll get busy and I'll forget becauseI only did the one episode in December
(41:39):
and I feel bad about it.But anyway, that I went to California
Adventure with a friend of mine thatworks at Disney, and we had such
a great time. You know,if you have like a family that you
just get along with and everybody's cooland you can have great conversation even with
the kids like that kind of stuff. It was really, really great.
And at the end of the day, the ladies had to go to the
bathrooms, so I laid down ona bench because I was tired, and
(42:02):
I just thought it was funny asthe park was closing for people walking by
to see a dad asleep on thebench kind of and my sons curled up
next to me, Like Jack laidwhere kind of where my hip was.
He put that was a pillow,and Jacob kind of laid up where by
my chest was and just kind ofstuggle with me there and we just had
there. I don't know, I'ma sap for snuggles. I love snuggles,
big fan of snuggles across the boardand we got to do that and
(42:29):
it was really really really cool.And then we came home the next day
because I was there on Championship Sundayto give you a reference when this is
recorded, even though it's technically thefirst release episode of the year. But
I came home and uh, andwe watched the game and it was the
same kind of thing where we justkind of snuggled on the couch. I
missed the Champion of the Rams Championshipgame and so but I recorded it and
(42:50):
came home and watched it the nextmorning because the kids were at school on
Monday, and it was awesome.It was awesome, and uh, I
think I think that's it. Sothank you so much for listening. Thank
you for the patients. Don't forgetto check out the Staying Frosty with the
Dad podcast, although again the numbersare so small, so maybe this is
down the road. But the numbersof paid subscribers are so small that I
(43:12):
imagine that all of you are alreadyon this. So I apologize if I
am if I'm saying something like,yeah, I know, shit, Sherlock,
but I want to I want toshow to be kind of like this,
especially when I can't have a guest. I'm gonna pad it out a
little bit more where I'm gonna finda topic I want to. I think
it's fun. It came up withoutme even planning to talk about it,
but I want to kind of broachthe three subjects of family life, in
(43:34):
my opinion with this show. Ithink it'll and I want to bring more
content that I find information that's outthere. Not because I feel the need
to teach, but because I thinkit gives me stuff to talk about that
when I feel like my life isboring or uninteresting or I have nothing amusing
to say that maybe it'll give mesomething that will inspire me. So I
want to talk a little bit aboutsex each show, and I want to
(43:57):
talk a little bit about money showif you think there's another I might even
do like some uh some live hacksfor like and maybe this applies to the
money, but like the home economiclike you know, like cooking stuff like
that, Like I like, Ilike all of that stuff and so if
I find research about it, I'llbring it into the show. If you
like episodes like this, please letme know, send me an email show
at the dad podcast dot com.If you don't, also let me know
(44:22):
because I always appreciate the feedback.And uh, I hope, I hope
I'm not letting you down. Andum, I think that that is it.
So this is justin Warsham saying,hug your kids, hump your loved
one, and stay frosty my friends,
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