June 4, 2025 • 12 mins
🧠Episode Description:
In a world obsessed with imitation, how do you stay true to yourself? In this episode, Jonathan Doyle explores the hidden risks of mimetic desire—the unconscious pull to want what others want and live how others live. But you weren’t made to copy someone else’s life. You were created with a unique combination of gifts, talents, and potential.
Discover why the most important task you face is not to conform, but to cultivate what is uniquely yours. If you’re ready to break free from comparison, reclaim your individuality, and unlock the deeper purpose you were meant to live, this one’s for you.
🔑 Key Topics:
- What is mimetic desire (and why it’s dangerous)
- How social media fuels comparison and conformity
- Practical ways to develop your unique potential
- Why becoming more “you” is the most courageous path
Enquire about booking Jonathan to speak:
Jonathan is on Instagram here:
https://www.instagram.com/jdoylespeaks/
Jonathan is on Youtube here:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bradley (00:12):
Welcome to the Daily Podcast with Jonathan Doyle.
It's time for your daily dose ofinspiration and encouragement.
It's time to liberate your potential andtake another step forward toward a bigger
life of contribution and personal growth.
If you're ready to move the needlein life, relationships, career and
(00:33):
more then you're in the right place.
Welcome aboard and let's get it done!
Well, hello there, my friendJonathan Doyle with you once again.
Uh, welcome aboard to the Daily Podcast.
Regular listeners.
You're probably wondering where I've been.
I've been doing stuff, I've been trainingand just, uh, keeping really busy
reading, learning, thinking, and growing.
(00:53):
Just like you, no doubt.
Try to do each day.
Uh, new listeners, welcome aboard.
Today I want to share with you areally interesting idea that has been
kicking around inside my head for.
Quite a little bit of time.
I wanna talk to you aboutsomething called mimetic desire.
Mimetic desire comes from the Greekword esis, which means imitation.
(01:14):
And I just wanna give you the idea simplyand then I wanna sort of share with
you how this could be useful to you.
Mimetic desire or mimetic cultures,a culture's based on imitation.
It's basically this idea that we.
Want to be very much like others.
We see what others have, wedesire, what others desire.
It's a culture based onimitation of other people.
(01:37):
Now, I think if you spend more thanjust a few seconds on social media, you
will be very aware how this operates.
Now, of course, we all denythat we struggle with it.
We, we, we consistently assumethat it is other people suffering
and struggling with this.
We talk about young peoplegetting sucked into social media.
Friends, I think we can agree.
(01:57):
Well, the way I explain it to my ownkids is that some of the greatest, uh,
intellects on the planet are employedto make sure that social media and other
platforms are highly attractive to us.
And they're not gonna do that if theydidn't have some insight into the kinds of
things that would attract our attention.
And one of these things is esis is thisdesire to imitate that we see other people
(02:20):
having amazing holidays or businessesor possessions, or they look amazing.
And there's something innate tothis human experience where we
desire to be very much like them.
Now stay with me because I'm gonna explainthe way that we might want to get out of
this and why that would be a good idea.
But I'll give you some key features firstof a mimetic imitation based culture.
(02:41):
So the first thing we'vegot is imitative desire.
So people want them becauseother people want them.
We actually like to tell ourselves that alot of the time, the things that we are.
Desiring or chasing after are things thatwe want for our own deep internal reasons.
Now, that's partially true, but I guessthis philosophy of mimetic desire would
suggest that we actually want thembecause we see other people desiring them.
(03:05):
So I guess sometimes you'llsee this in primates, right?
You'll see primates, gorillas, monkeys.
They're there.
They'll be in a social settingand they'll suddenly notice
that one of them has something.
Now the minute they see that theother primate has it, you can
often, you know, probably seenthis in documentaries, right?
There's this flurry of activitywhere they're suddenly desiring
to get the other thing because theother primate has the other thing.
(03:27):
So it's almost as if there'sa anthropological dimension.
In terms of evolutionary biology andevolutionary psychology to mimetic desire.
Next thing is social comparison.
We evaluate ourselves relative to others.
Now, of course you don't do this.
I'm speaking to people who wouldnever do such a thing like this.
Look, we all do it, right?
I mean, it's, of course we do.
(03:48):
We'd like to tell ourselves we don't.
But when we see our friendsor family members or.
It's just people on socialmedia that have certain things.
Um, we, we evaluateourselves against them.
And, you know, your regular listenerswill remember for a long time.
I've spoken about one of myfavorite quotes from the Scholastic
philosopher John Dunn's scotus.
And this quote's really powerful.
(04:09):
I've shared it many times.
He said that all human comparisonis essentially diabolical.
All human comparison is essentiallydiabolical by which he means
literally satanic all human desire.
To compare ourselves to others is Satanic.
That's a very strong language, right?
What does he mean?
(04:30):
Well, I guess he would say that Godcreates all of us as individuals, right?
God creates all of us with thisunique patterning of capacities
and abilities, but the degree towhich we concern ourselves with
comparing ourselves to others.
Is as hard as this is to admit toourselves, it's almost rejecting
(04:50):
the givenness of our own nature.
The the what, you know, God creates uswith these amazing individual natures,
but we spend so much of our time thinkingwe'd be happier if we had what somebody
else has, if we were like someone else.
So that's what he means by all humancomparison is essentially diabolical.
So what have we got?
Imitative desire.
We want what others wantbecause they want it.
(05:11):
Social comparison.
We compare ourselves to others.
And then this leads to numberthree, which is conformity.
We often tend to conform some ofour choices and behaviors to what
others are doing or possessing ratherthan what's most important to us.
Step four leads to conflict becauseit leads to rivalry and envy.
I think this is where Karl Marx obviously,I guess, got his, um, epistemological
(05:35):
foothold in human history by recognizingthe disparity at times between classes
and that leads to rivalry and envy,and then you can eventually fan
that into the flame of revolution.
Go back to 1917 in Russia for that one.
Friends, is it not true that weoften get frustrated that we can't
get our lives to look, uh, and seemlike some other people's lives?
(05:58):
Now look, I'm not saying you'redoing this all the time, but I'm
just trying to put these elements outthere because I think they do play
out in culture and to some degree.
Um, we all have some degree ofthis going on inside ourselves.
Now let's land this plane.
The reason I wanted to shareall of this with you is because
here's what I'm thinking.
I think the culture that we haveemerged into being so mimetic and
(06:21):
training us to desire what otherpeople have to compare ourselves.
Means that we spend agreat deal, deal of time.
At least I have, uh, and maybe you havetoo, wanting to be very, very different.
And the narrative that we candevelop in our own minds is, well,
my life would be much better.
I would be much happier if I justhad what this person had, or I looked
like what this person looked like.
(06:43):
I'm gonna be really honest with you.
I saw a video the other day from 1994.
In 1994.
I was doing a gap year inEngland and it was the best time.
I had a, I had a fantastic year, uh,working at a school over there, and I was,
I think I was about 19 or 20 years of age.
And in the video I. I havethis thick, wavy hair.
It is thick, it is lustrous,it is just magnificent.
(07:07):
And I don't have that hairanymore for whatever reason.
I, uh, my hair decided to checkout things relatively early.
Luckily I was, you know, um,married to a, a fantastic,
extraordinary woman by that stage.
Um, and so I look back at this videoand I'm like, oh, I've only, I had.
Thick lustrous hair once.
(07:28):
This is like, you're all listeningto me going, I think Jonathan's
trans transferring something here.
Um, but I look back at things andyou know, I think, oh, wouldn't
my luffy better if I had this?
I had that.
And then the other place I'vereally figured this out recently is.
You know, I'm 51 years of age andI trained a lot, as many of you
know, and I've been back in the gymand I've been training very hard.
I've actually put on close to 15 kilosof body mass from, um, power lifting.
(07:54):
And, you know, I'm in there all thetime and I look at, you know, other
people and I look at, you know what, Iwant to be different about my training.
And I, I had this thing going, why?
Why aren't I lifting heavier here?
Why can't I do this?
And then I was trying to, you know, thedifference between bulking and cutting.
And I was like, frustrated.
And I had this realization a few weeksago, which is really the essence of
what I'm gonna share with you now aswe finish, is what I finally discovered
(08:18):
was that I can't be someone else.
And the invitation that is offeredto me is simply to make the best
of what has been given to me.
You see, in a mimetic culture, we spendall this time looking at everybody
else wanting to be radically different.
And what we fail to do isanswer the correct question.
And the correct question is,how do I maximize what I have?
(08:41):
And that's the essence of today's message.
I want you to start thinking aboutthe maximization of what you have.
Do you wish you were different?
You probably do.
If you're really honest, almosteverybody listening to this would at
some point say to themselves, yeah, mylife would be better if I had X or I
looked like X, or I could, you know, ifI earned X or did X, it's it's human.
I get it.
But what is in fact.
(09:03):
Really important is that we showgratitude for what we have been given.
You know, look at aguy like Nick Vukovich.
I dunno if you've ever come acrosshim, like Nick, Nick was born without
arms or legs and has gone on tobe one of the most successful, you
know, amazing motivational speakers.
You know, takes the whole thingabout, you know, uh, what's that
(09:23):
sort of thing I'm talking about here?
Where, you know, the, the,the victim mentality, he just
blows that apart, you know?
So here's a guy who's gone.
I don't have arms, I don't have legs.
But what I do have, I'm gonna make theabsolute most out of, I'm not gonna
be mimetic, I'm not gonna spend mytime doom scrolling through social
media wanting to be something else.
So that's my question for you today.
Have you thought about this?
(09:45):
Have you thought aboutwhat the real task is?
You know, the real task for me, likefor example, in the gym, is just to
become the best that I can reasonablycome with what I've been given under
the parameters that I operate under.
And.
We are all called to develop ourskills and talents and abilities.
But here's the tip, develop yours.
(10:05):
Don't worry about what you don'thave, and don't waste a moment of
intellectual, spiritual energy thinkingabout if you had something else,
you would be remarkably different.
Yeah, you would, but it'sprobably not gonna happen, right?
My hair's not growing back.
I often joke, you know,I'm about five foot eight.
And, uh, you know, we'renot the tallest family.
You know, professional basketballhas been ruled out for us, and I'm
(10:28):
like, I'm waiting for a growth spurt.
It ain't coming.
It's not coming.
So I gotta work with what I got.
I gotta be who I am.
And I think there's a freedomin that, don't you think?
Don't you think that if we as aculture, if everybody just went
to work on themselves, there's somuch rage, there's so much anger.
We want everything to be differentand everyone to be different.
And we want, uh, everyone toagree with our politics and
(10:50):
our way of seeing the world.
But just go to work onyourself, my friend.
Go to work on what you've been givenand accept what you have been given
with gratitude and do what you canevery day reasonably to make it better.
And I play golf probably four times aweek, and golf is a spiritual game, and
my son plays with me now almost every day.
(11:12):
And you know, I just do.
I wish I was like playing off scratch.
Sure do.
But uh, some days I'm playing really well.
Some days less so, but I'm always justtrying to improve what I can improve.
'cause I don't have somebody else'sarms core strength swing patterns.
I have mine and I'vegotta go to work on that.
So that's it for today.
(11:33):
What I want you to dois abandon an imitation.
Uh, abandon thinking that life wouldbe perfect for you if you could have
something that other people have, becauseyou're not really gonna get that option.
The only option that's gonna face youtoday and tomorrow and the day after
is how do you, my friend, make thevery best of what you've been given?
(11:54):
Okay, that's it for me today.
I hope that's given yousomething to think about.
Uh, if you wanna book me to speak live,uh, corporate events, organizational
events, you can do that through thewebsite, Jonathan Doyle dot co.co.
And uh, if I'm on Instagram, youcan find me at j doyle speaks.
J Doyle speaks.
You wanna send me a message?
You can do that through the website.
(12:14):
God bless you my friend.
I hope it's useful.
If you're not a regular listener, pleasesubscribe and I look forward to sharing
something else with you tomorrow.
Welcome to the Daily Podcast with Jonathan Doyle.
It's time for your daily dose ofinspiration and encouragement.
It's time to liberate your potential andtake another step forward toward a bigger
life of contribution and personal growth.
If you're ready to move the needlein life, relationships, career and
(00:33):
more then you're in the right place.
Welcome aboard and let's get it done!
Well, hello there, my friendJonathan Doyle with you once again.
Uh, welcome aboard to the Daily Podcast.
Regular listeners.
You're probably wondering where I've been.
I've been doing stuff, I've been trainingand just, uh, keeping really busy
reading, learning, thinking, and growing.
(00:53):
Just like you, no doubt.
Try to do each day.
Uh, new listeners, welcome aboard.
Today I want to share with you areally interesting idea that has been
kicking around inside my head for.
Quite a little bit of time.
I wanna talk to you aboutsomething called mimetic desire.
Mimetic desire comes from the Greekword esis, which means imitation.
(01:14):
And I just wanna give you the idea simplyand then I wanna sort of share with
you how this could be useful to you.
Mimetic desire or mimetic cultures,a culture's based on imitation.
It's basically this idea that we.
Want to be very much like others.
We see what others have, wedesire, what others desire.
It's a culture based onimitation of other people.
(01:37):
Now, I think if you spend more thanjust a few seconds on social media, you
will be very aware how this operates.
Now, of course, we all denythat we struggle with it.
We, we, we consistently assumethat it is other people suffering
and struggling with this.
We talk about young peoplegetting sucked into social media.
Friends, I think we can agree.
(01:57):
Well, the way I explain it to my ownkids is that some of the greatest, uh,
intellects on the planet are employedto make sure that social media and other
platforms are highly attractive to us.
And they're not gonna do that if theydidn't have some insight into the kinds of
things that would attract our attention.
And one of these things is esis is thisdesire to imitate that we see other people
(02:20):
having amazing holidays or businessesor possessions, or they look amazing.
And there's something innate tothis human experience where we
desire to be very much like them.
Now stay with me because I'm gonna explainthe way that we might want to get out of
this and why that would be a good idea.
But I'll give you some key features firstof a mimetic imitation based culture.
(02:41):
So the first thing we'vegot is imitative desire.
So people want them becauseother people want them.
We actually like to tell ourselves that alot of the time, the things that we are.
Desiring or chasing after are things thatwe want for our own deep internal reasons.
Now, that's partially true, but I guessthis philosophy of mimetic desire would
suggest that we actually want thembecause we see other people desiring them.
(03:05):
So I guess sometimes you'llsee this in primates, right?
You'll see primates, gorillas, monkeys.
They're there.
They'll be in a social settingand they'll suddenly notice
that one of them has something.
Now the minute they see that theother primate has it, you can
often, you know, probably seenthis in documentaries, right?
There's this flurry of activitywhere they're suddenly desiring
to get the other thing because theother primate has the other thing.
(03:27):
So it's almost as if there'sa anthropological dimension.
In terms of evolutionary biology andevolutionary psychology to mimetic desire.
Next thing is social comparison.
We evaluate ourselves relative to others.
Now, of course you don't do this.
I'm speaking to people who wouldnever do such a thing like this.
Look, we all do it, right?
I mean, it's, of course we do.
(03:48):
We'd like to tell ourselves we don't.
But when we see our friendsor family members or.
It's just people on socialmedia that have certain things.
Um, we, we evaluateourselves against them.
And, you know, your regular listenerswill remember for a long time.
I've spoken about one of myfavorite quotes from the Scholastic
philosopher John Dunn's scotus.
And this quote's really powerful.
(04:09):
I've shared it many times.
He said that all human comparisonis essentially diabolical.
All human comparison is essentiallydiabolical by which he means
literally satanic all human desire.
To compare ourselves to others is Satanic.
That's a very strong language, right?
What does he mean?
(04:30):
Well, I guess he would say that Godcreates all of us as individuals, right?
God creates all of us with thisunique patterning of capacities
and abilities, but the degree towhich we concern ourselves with
comparing ourselves to others.
Is as hard as this is to admit toourselves, it's almost rejecting
(04:50):
the givenness of our own nature.
The the what, you know, God creates uswith these amazing individual natures,
but we spend so much of our time thinkingwe'd be happier if we had what somebody
else has, if we were like someone else.
So that's what he means by all humancomparison is essentially diabolical.
So what have we got?
Imitative desire.
We want what others wantbecause they want it.
(05:11):
Social comparison.
We compare ourselves to others.
And then this leads to numberthree, which is conformity.
We often tend to conform some ofour choices and behaviors to what
others are doing or possessing ratherthan what's most important to us.
Step four leads to conflict becauseit leads to rivalry and envy.
I think this is where Karl Marx obviously,I guess, got his, um, epistemological
(05:35):
foothold in human history by recognizingthe disparity at times between classes
and that leads to rivalry and envy,and then you can eventually fan
that into the flame of revolution.
Go back to 1917 in Russia for that one.
Friends, is it not true that weoften get frustrated that we can't
get our lives to look, uh, and seemlike some other people's lives?
(05:58):
Now look, I'm not saying you'redoing this all the time, but I'm
just trying to put these elements outthere because I think they do play
out in culture and to some degree.
Um, we all have some degree ofthis going on inside ourselves.
Now let's land this plane.
The reason I wanted to shareall of this with you is because
here's what I'm thinking.
I think the culture that we haveemerged into being so mimetic and
(06:21):
training us to desire what otherpeople have to compare ourselves.
Means that we spend agreat deal, deal of time.
At least I have, uh, and maybe you havetoo, wanting to be very, very different.
And the narrative that we candevelop in our own minds is, well,
my life would be much better.
I would be much happier if I justhad what this person had, or I looked
like what this person looked like.
(06:43):
I'm gonna be really honest with you.
I saw a video the other day from 1994.
In 1994.
I was doing a gap year inEngland and it was the best time.
I had a, I had a fantastic year, uh,working at a school over there, and I was,
I think I was about 19 or 20 years of age.
And in the video I. I havethis thick, wavy hair.
It is thick, it is lustrous,it is just magnificent.
(07:07):
And I don't have that hairanymore for whatever reason.
I, uh, my hair decided to checkout things relatively early.
Luckily I was, you know, um,married to a, a fantastic,
extraordinary woman by that stage.
Um, and so I look back at this videoand I'm like, oh, I've only, I had.
Thick lustrous hair once.
(07:28):
This is like, you're all listeningto me going, I think Jonathan's
trans transferring something here.
Um, but I look back at things andyou know, I think, oh, wouldn't
my luffy better if I had this?
I had that.
And then the other place I'vereally figured this out recently is.
You know, I'm 51 years of age andI trained a lot, as many of you
know, and I've been back in the gymand I've been training very hard.
I've actually put on close to 15 kilosof body mass from, um, power lifting.
(07:54):
And, you know, I'm in there all thetime and I look at, you know, other
people and I look at, you know what, Iwant to be different about my training.
And I, I had this thing going, why?
Why aren't I lifting heavier here?
Why can't I do this?
And then I was trying to, you know, thedifference between bulking and cutting.
And I was like, frustrated.
And I had this realization a few weeksago, which is really the essence of
what I'm gonna share with you now aswe finish, is what I finally discovered
(08:18):
was that I can't be someone else.
And the invitation that is offeredto me is simply to make the best
of what has been given to me.
You see, in a mimetic culture, we spendall this time looking at everybody
else wanting to be radically different.
And what we fail to do isanswer the correct question.
And the correct question is,how do I maximize what I have?
(08:41):
And that's the essence of today's message.
I want you to start thinking aboutthe maximization of what you have.
Do you wish you were different?
You probably do.
If you're really honest, almosteverybody listening to this would at
some point say to themselves, yeah, mylife would be better if I had X or I
looked like X, or I could, you know, ifI earned X or did X, it's it's human.
I get it.
But what is in fact.
(09:03):
Really important is that we showgratitude for what we have been given.
You know, look at aguy like Nick Vukovich.
I dunno if you've ever come acrosshim, like Nick, Nick was born without
arms or legs and has gone on tobe one of the most successful, you
know, amazing motivational speakers.
You know, takes the whole thingabout, you know, uh, what's that
(09:23):
sort of thing I'm talking about here?
Where, you know, the, the,the victim mentality, he just
blows that apart, you know?
So here's a guy who's gone.
I don't have arms, I don't have legs.
But what I do have, I'm gonna make theabsolute most out of, I'm not gonna
be mimetic, I'm not gonna spend mytime doom scrolling through social
media wanting to be something else.
So that's my question for you today.
Have you thought about this?
(09:45):
Have you thought aboutwhat the real task is?
You know, the real task for me, likefor example, in the gym, is just to
become the best that I can reasonablycome with what I've been given under
the parameters that I operate under.
And.
We are all called to develop ourskills and talents and abilities.
But here's the tip, develop yours.
(10:05):
Don't worry about what you don'thave, and don't waste a moment of
intellectual, spiritual energy thinkingabout if you had something else,
you would be remarkably different.
Yeah, you would, but it'sprobably not gonna happen, right?
My hair's not growing back.
I often joke, you know,I'm about five foot eight.
And, uh, you know, we'renot the tallest family.
You know, professional basketballhas been ruled out for us, and I'm
(10:28):
like, I'm waiting for a growth spurt.
It ain't coming.
It's not coming.
So I gotta work with what I got.
I gotta be who I am.
And I think there's a freedomin that, don't you think?
Don't you think that if we as aculture, if everybody just went
to work on themselves, there's somuch rage, there's so much anger.
We want everything to be differentand everyone to be different.
And we want, uh, everyone toagree with our politics and
(10:50):
our way of seeing the world.
But just go to work onyourself, my friend.
Go to work on what you've been givenand accept what you have been given
with gratitude and do what you canevery day reasonably to make it better.
And I play golf probably four times aweek, and golf is a spiritual game, and
my son plays with me now almost every day.
(11:12):
And you know, I just do.
I wish I was like playing off scratch.
Sure do.
But uh, some days I'm playing really well.
Some days less so, but I'm always justtrying to improve what I can improve.
'cause I don't have somebody else'sarms core strength swing patterns.
I have mine and I'vegotta go to work on that.
So that's it for today.
(11:33):
What I want you to dois abandon an imitation.
Uh, abandon thinking that life wouldbe perfect for you if you could have
something that other people have, becauseyou're not really gonna get that option.
The only option that's gonna face youtoday and tomorrow and the day after
is how do you, my friend, make thevery best of what you've been given?
(11:54):
Okay, that's it for me today.
I hope that's given yousomething to think about.
Uh, if you wanna book me to speak live,uh, corporate events, organizational
events, you can do that through thewebsite, Jonathan Doyle dot co.co.
And uh, if I'm on Instagram, youcan find me at j doyle speaks.
J Doyle speaks.
You wanna send me a message?
You can do that through the website.
(12:14):
God bless you my friend.
I hope it's useful.
If you're not a regular listener, pleasesubscribe and I look forward to sharing
something else with you tomorrow.
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