How to Stop Toddler Tantrums with Attachment (Without Burnout)

Are your toddler’s meltdowns leaving you “touched out” and wondering how to stay calm? What if the fastest way to end tantrums is more connection—not more limits?

In this video, we break down attachment parenting for toddlers—the practical, science-aligned way to reduce tantrums, boost cooperation, and rebuild calm (in you and your child). You’ll learn why kids imitate your emotions but can’t yet regulate them, how to be the adult in the room, and the exact strategies we used to go 16+ years without tantrums in our home.

We’ll show you how to increase your capacity (food, sleep, recovery) so you’re not running on empty, plus simple co-regulation tools like cuddle-pauses, couch resets, and family calm breaks. Attachment isn’t coddling—it's how kids become secure and independent. When their emotional bucket is full, clinginess drops and behavior improves. Parenting isn’t convenient—but it can be effective.

Key Takeaways

✅ Attachment first makes every other parenting strategy work better

✅ Capacity over boundaries: build yourself up so you can show up

✅ Food & sleep are fuel for patience, presence, and self-control

✅ Fill the bucket daily: secure kids act better and rebel less

✅ Pause > push through: a 2-minute cuddle beats a 20-minute battle

Memorable Quotes

🗣 “We are the ones who have to be the adults.”

🗣 “I don’t want it to be easy—I want it to be effective.”

🗣 “Kids imitate without regulation—you must co-regulate.”

🗣 “Parenting is never convenient—but it is transformational.”

🗣 “Toddlers with full buckets don’t have tantrums.”

Chapters

00:00 Welcome & the “be the adult” principle

02:04 Imitation without regulation (why kids escalate)

06:15 Attachment disorders → behavior problems (and hope)

10:22 Zero–Three: the critical window (and what if you missed it)

13:40 Touched-out? Capacity, not limits

17:18 Food & sleep: the fastest patience upgrade

21:05 “Fill the bucket” method (quality + quantity time)

26:30 Co-regulation: couch cuddle resets & calm breaks

31:12 Rebuilding attachment with older kids

RESOURCES:

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