I Can’t Not Do It: Storytelling, Grief and Identity

We welcome Professor Gayle Letherby, a pioneering sociologist whose deeply personal and academic work has transformed how we think about childlessness, grief, identity, and storytelling. Gayle reflects on her journey, beginning with a miscarriage in the 1980s that altered her life trajectory and became the foundation of a groundbreaking academic career. Her research into involuntary childlessness, pregnancy loss, and the status of parenthood spans decades and she’s still going strong

About Professor Gayle Letherby

Having worked as a nursery nurse prior to the miscarriage (in the early 1980s) of my, to my knowledge, one and only pregnancy, one and only baby, I gave up my job and listlessly, sometimes desperately, wandered through my own life feeling that I had no purpose and no future. Finding Sociology saved me with an A Level at a local FE college being followed by an undergraduate degree, a PhD and 30+ years of teaching, researching, writing and mentoring. The significance of mother or not has always been part of my academic labour and I have undertaken research and written much on the experience of those who do and those who do not mother (and father) and the implications and impact of this. My PhD was specifically concerned with the identity and experience of ‘infertility’ and ‘involuntary childlessness’ (which I write in quotation marks to highlight problems with definition). I interviewed and corresponded with more than 80 individuals, mostly women but some men too, and when writing up my thesis included some of my own experience in the text. Alongside other academic work I have also conducted a number of auto/biographical research projects on reproductive loss and on pregnancy and early motherhood (parenthood). Fifteen years ago I began to also write fiction and memoir, for both academic and lay audiences. My personal experience and my research interests are often the stimulus for the fiction I write and my significant others regularly appear in my memoir pieces. This includes my baby, the child who died months before her or his expected birth date, and also my mother, Dorothy, and father, Ron, and my husband John (all deceased). I find this writing both cathartic and energising. My own, and others’, experience of Covid-19 and of ‘growing older’ has led me to reflect on, not least, the differences between solitude and loneliness and the experience of growing older as a childless not by choice individual. In addition to my academic writings I publish some of my work on the open site ABCtales.com writing as gletherby.