I know I’m not the only one disturbed by the scenes of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance publicly dressing down Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House.
I was saddened and sickened by the bullying behaviour of those entrusted to know and be a whole lot better than that. The lack of empathy, the attempts to humiliate and intimidate, and the smirking childish arrogance was embarrassing to witness. Especially from individuals holding the highest positions of political leadership and responsibility.
It presents us with a question. Do we accept it? Does it reflect the world we want to create together?
https://youtu.be/lKk-Fp_nqaE
The Ripple Effect of Bullying
This kind of bullying affects not only its direct targets but also those who witness it. Many people felt the sting of observing that incident for various reasons. So, how ought we respond when we see and hear things like this, which might have particular personal resonance for those who have been on the receiving end of power abuses themselves?
Growing up, I was taught that bullies tend to operate from a place of insecurity. They mask their inferiority with a facade of superiority. The hypocrisy in the accusations about disrespect struck me. It’s a classic charge from someone who feels insecure.
They questioned Zelensky’s clothes—a choice he has openly described as a show of solidarity with fellow Ukrainians during wartime. In doing so, they displayed ignorance, wilful or otherwise, of the traumatic reality his country had thrust upon it from an invading force.
Bullies don’t respect the humanity of others. They smirk, berate, and belittle rather than empathise, understand, and connect.
Encountering Bullying
Many of us have encountered or witnessed bullying in different areas of life—a boss who publicly humiliates or undermines an employee, someone who sabotages others by withholding critical information or setting them up for failure, or a family member who uses emotional blackmail or guilt to coerce and manipulate.
The dynamics are strikingly similar. A pathological need to dominate, a pattern of intentionally misrepresenting someone’s words, obsessively pulling apart everything someone does, and active enjoyment from causing a person harm or distress.
Arrogance or Confidence
A bully arrogantly attempts to humiliate and intimidate. This is not a show of strength but a reflection of deep-seated insecurity and weakness.
This reflects a distinction we might make between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance, as I see it, is insecurity dressed up as superiority. It’s the need to dominate, to belittle, and to control. Confidence, on the other hand, is secure in who it is and the path it’s on. It doesn’t need to tear others down to feel strong.
Responding To The Quiet Rage
This incident stirred a quiet rage within me. Something was disturbing about watching a leader like Zelensky, who had shown immense courage and grace in the face of Russia's invasion, be treated with such disdain and disrespect.
So, what do we do when we witness events like this? It's easy to get caught up in the emotion and stay there. But it’s more important to pause, process, and channel those feelings into constructive actions.
Acknowledge Your Emotions: Feeling angry, sad, or disappointed is okay. Express the energy of those feelings in non-destructive ways—scream across the sea if you need to, take it out on a drum kit, exercise your body, or throw something.
Connect with Others: Seek out people who share your values and can offer emotional support. Temporary venting and ranting with people you trust can provide healing catharsis, as long as everyone is comfortable with it!
Turn Pain into Active Hope: I spoke with Cindy Gale, who shared a framework for processing thoughts and feelings in a changing world. The four stages—gratitude, Honouring Our Pain, Seeing with New Eyes, and Going Forth—can guide us toward constructive action...