The Golden Girls S6Ep03 - If at Last You Do Succeed

Rose is having a yard sale. Blanche detests it and buys all her stuff for $50. Turns out there are 50 $1,000 St. Olaf war bonds and Blanche feels like she hit the jackpot. Only cashing out the bonds will bankrupt St. Olaf. Meanhwhile, Stan has created a baked potato opener that is actually a success. He tries to buy everyone's love without much succeess.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
You're listening to I Love this TV show The Golden Girls.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
The Golden Girls, Season six, Episode three, If at Last
You Do Succeed. Original air date October sixth, nineteen ninety.
In this episode, Sophia plays a prank on Dorothy Blanche
as about a painting out on the lawn. Rose is
having a yard sale. Blanche is not happy. She buys

(00:45):
a junk instead to keep the widows away. Sophia plays
the same prank on her as she did on Dorothy.
Stan arrives. He's created something and it's actually a success.
It's a potato opener. He puts on an infomercial on
so they can see his product. He's sold more than

(01:06):
half a million units at this point. He's come over
to ask Dorothy for some help. He wants her to
be his date for a reception of Japanese investors the
next day. In the kitchen, Blanche goes through all of
the stuff she bought from Rose. She finds Saint Olaf
war bonds. They were sold to fund a tack cows,

(01:27):
and there are fifty bonds worth one thousand dollars each.
They go toe to toe with dead husbands trying to
take ownership of the bonds. Stan hasn't given up on
Dorothy and the reception. He's sent her a kimono. She's angry,
though she is not interested in being bought. The bond
situation has still not been solved. They all decide to

(01:50):
vote on what should be done, but no decision is
made about the money. Stan stops by again. Now he's
brought a game boy for Sophia. Dorothy is not happy
about all these gifts. She tries to speaks to Stan
about it, but he's bought her a brand new car.
She is even angrier and refuses the car. He apologizes

(02:12):
for past mistakes, but Dorothy doesn't care. Sophia wants to
keep the car. Another day, in the kitchen and Blanche
and Rose are discussing the war bonds again. Saint Olof
will be bankrupt if they catch out the bonds. Meanwhile,
Dorothy is shocked that Stan found a backbone. The four

(02:33):
of them discussed Stan and what he did and who
he used to be. Rose tells us Saint Olaf's story,
and Rose is upset because she forgot about the bonds.
Blanche comes in wearing four different diamond rings. Dorothy tries
to remind Blanche that they are family and Saint Oloff
is important to Rose. She decides not to catch the bonds.

(02:55):
She rips them up. Rose informs her that Saint Olaf
is going to build a statue in her honor to
thank you. They have an emergency statue fund of five
hundred thousand dollars. Blanche is shocked, and so is Dorothy.
Stanley comes by before the reception. He needs help with
his tie. Dorothy finally decides to go to the reception

(03:18):
with him. Blanche explains to Rose about how they could
pick the bones some the statue fun. Rose tries to
reach Stolof, but it's everybody had the corn day. Dorothy
comes back from the reception. It went well. Favorite quotes Dorothy, MA,

(03:46):
I could have burned my lips. What are you doing, Sophia?
My eyesight is going so I like a pranknack in here, Blanche.
I don't want to have to deal with four hundred
people in Simpson's T shirts trying to knock twenty five
sens off your I lost my ass in Vegas cup Blanche,
good god, what do you have in those boxes? Rows?

(04:08):
As we say in saying ohlave Crapola in a box, Dorothy.
I'm sorry, Stan, there are other vegetables. I'd rather go
out with. Rose. No one expects trouble from a cow.
The plan was we would drop these highly trained killer
cows behind the enemy lines. It wasn't till they were

(04:28):
airborne that we realized a cow can't pull a ripcord. Well,
the project wasn't a total failure. If there's one thing
the Germans hate, it's a mess. Blanche. I paid for
these fair and square. You said yourself, all deals are final. Rose.
Charlie would want me to have them, Blanche. George would

(04:49):
want me to keep them. Don't try that with me,
Rose and Island. I'll match you dead husband for dead husband, Dorothy.
One beer, one beer in high school, and my life
is ruined. He's trying to buy my love. He's trying
to buy my kid's love. If I had a dollar
for every time Stan has screwed up our lives, Dorothy, Stan,

(05:11):
I am not driving around with license plates that say
pothead Stan. It's an abbreviation. I didn't have room for
the whole potato head, Dorothy. I don't want your car. Stan. Yes,
I've screwed up our marriage. We all know that, but
I wasn't in yuts for all of those years. There
were some good times before things went wrong, Dorothy, until

(05:34):
I found out about them. Stan old news, Dorothy. This
time I came up a winner, Dorothy. Oh, come on, honey,
you're getting worked up over nothing. I mean, Blanche is
petty and selfish, but I don't think she would actually
bankrupt a whole town, Dorothy. We may not always get along,

(05:54):
but we've always been there when we've needed each other. Now, look,
this is important to Rose, and I think we need
to stand behind her. I mean, you're taking away a
part of her, her home. Granted it is the cradle
of idiocy. We start out in this episode with Rose

(06:21):
having a yard sale and Blanche is not a big
fan of strangers. Maybe if it was a whole bunch
of men that she could date, she'd like it, like
when she did that Mercedes Benz car scheme, but that
one's neither here nor there. She's just not a fan
of yard sales or garage sales. She doesn't like bargaining.
And we have another episode where they have a yard

(06:41):
sale out on the un the line and that doesn't
go well at all either. So she's got a history
of failing yard sales, but she ends up buying everything
that was trying to sell for fifty bucks. The discovery
of the sinolof war bonds that sets a whole bunch
of things in motion. One Saint Olav's budget can't handle

(07:02):
that fifty thousand two, what kind of It's the moral
and the ethical conundrum of do you take the money
still in bankruptcycity? Do you do this? Do you do that?
You know your friend is involved, this is where they
grew up, this is their home. You know. There's a
lot of layers to this one. And ultimately Blanche decides

(07:24):
not to. But this is only after trying out some
diamonds and all this other stuff. Now, the whole emergency
statue fund is just a kick in the pants because
that's got five hundred thousand dollars. Five thousand bucks out
of that are fifty thousand bucks out of that. Ain't
nobody gonna notice. That's not going to damage the emergency
statue fund. And even in the eighties, could you really

(07:46):
make a statue statue for just five hundred thousand dollars?
I don't know, maybe if it was a tiny statue,
but yeah, that coused tension and fighting in drama in
all different kinds of ways that they were going after
each other in order to see who was gonna get it. Now,
my personal thought process would be just split the money
across all four of the ladies, because it was found money.

(08:08):
I think when it's fifty thousand dollars, that's like somewhere
around twelve thousand, five hundred, or maybe that's for twenty five,
you know, twelve five hundred to each, give or take.
If my master wrong, feel free to correct me. But yeah,
that eventually works out, and I don't think anybody gets anything,
and I still don't know if Blanche actually gets a statue.

(08:30):
Now on to Dorothy and Stan, because that's the conundrum me.
Part of the episode. He finally invented somethings that people
actually want to buy. Yes, he invented something that people
actually want to buy instead of the crappy normally makes.

(08:51):
And it's amazing because he goes into a lot of
money from this. You know, this is just the start
of this episode, and this is one of the storylines
that does actually continue, you know, because there's later episodes
where Stan's got a whole lot more money. Now and
he winds up asking Dorothy to marry him again, but
now he wants this giant prenup and hates you who
wa and so yeah, that gets a little crazy, but yeah,

(09:15):
it has a domino effect into other storylines in the future,
even when The Golden Palace takes place, which is technically
the only season and that's right after The Golden Girls ends.
You know, but Stan is essentially at this point because
he has money, trying to buy everyone's love and affection,
maybe even their loyalty. But that's not how he wins

(09:37):
someone's heart. You know. They have to be able to
trust you. They have to be able to like you.
Communication has to be good, they have to be able
to respect you. With all the stuff that's gone down
between Dorothy and Stan, those are all in short, short,
short supply. You know, he tries to bribe Sofia with
a game boy and other money that he just gives her.

(09:57):
It's like, I don't think he thought about the tax
aspect of a successful invention, but I don't know. The
episode just seems sad. It's like one of the few
where Dorothy truly stands up for herself. Most of the time,
she just puts up with Stan, she doesn't stand up
to him, but in this case, she held her ground
and stood up to him all the way until the end,

(10:18):
and then she kind of broke down and decided. But
it was more of I just want to help you
and that kind of thing versus anything else, which I
respect her for. But it's still the challenge because he
was a worthless piece of crap to her pretty much
the whole marriage. I don't know if at any point
in their marriage she was faithful to her or not.
And you just feel bad because Dorothy is a good

(10:39):
person and he basically did all this horrible to her,
just horrible, horrible, and it's just kind of sad and tragic,
and what else do you do or how else do
you process it? You know? I mean thirty eight years
of her life basically with this guy, and that was
just the married part. I don't know if it was

(11:00):
it's like a full year they were together beforehand, so
that's thirty nine. But it's just it's a bit intense.
That is a long time to spend with someone and
for them to do that much crap to you during
that whole time period, that's just on the disgusting side,
and I just basically feel bad for Dorothy in this situation.

(11:20):
You can understand why she's hesitant to date again and
which she's very very picky about who she dates. You know,
she went out with that cheeter guy and then he
turned out to be a double loser, just as bad
as Stan and he wasn't trustworthy either. But it just
Dorothy doesn't look up. I mean, by the end of
the show, she does, but I mean all that she

(11:41):
has to have to go through her entire life to
find her actual happiness when she finally gets there, it's
a lot. You know, she did get her degree and
she became a teacher, which is what she wanted, but
it's still a challenge when you have to deal with
people who don't respect you and treat you like crap.

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