The Greatest Generation

When Hoshi gets a telepathic cold call, her new suitor offers to help Captain Archer’s pursuit of the Xindi as long as Hoshi stays over at his creepy castle. But after she reluctantly agrees and finds he can’t take no for an answer, she has to threaten his crystal to get back to the NX-01. Which button shows true desperation? What’s the worst Star Trek food we’ve ever seen? Should Hoshi have just stayed in uniform? It’s the episode...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress call from a Vulcan ship, a severely under-resourced away team heads over in a shuttlepod. But when T’Pol starts showing paranoid symptoms and her former colleagues are beyond help, Archer and Tucker barely get their only two shuttlepods back to the NX-01. Who isn’t going commando? Which crew member is like a licorice jellybean? What does this show really love? It’s the episode that’s broadc...

When the Entrepreneur shows up at a seasteading planet, Archer goes looking for Xindi but finds a top-shelf babe who wants to escape the slave trade. But after she comes aboard and starts giving the crew hand jobs, two Xindi ships arrive to collect her and her data. Who is leech curious? Which spice wasn’t included in the exchange? What’s the shoestring fries of salads? It’s the episode with some surprising serialized consequences.

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When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Who always ruins a good dream? It’s t...

When the Entrepreneur is flying Winnie the Poo style through the expanse, anomalies bring them out of warp near a vessel full of deads. But when they’re boarded and robbed by space pirates, Captain Archer turns his prisoner into a plan to retrieve their booty. Who is going inside out first? What is the Cochran equation? Which two things will get you killed in the Delphic Expanse? It’s the episode that could have used a crazy straw.

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When the Entrepreneur is six weeks into the expanse, the Captain’s only lead is an unscrupulous foreman with a Xindi miner. But when Archer and Trip get trapped with the prisoner, their sewer-based escape ends tragically at a set of useless coordinates that push them deeper into the expanse. Where’s the fresh content for a Florence Nightingale foot fetish? What could have made Trip’s nightmare better? Who is turning professional co...

When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when they get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at honor. What’s in the lobby of Big Dish? How is agave spirit like processed cheese fo...

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr. Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who can be a sniper in the Klingon military? It’s the episode that wants to wrap the grap!

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When Captain Archer gets bad news involving A.G. Robinson and a mountain, his solo away mission to a dark matter nebular turns into story time with T’Pol in the the middle seat. But when she learns about their rivalry and how Robinson influenced Archer’s career, she suggests naming their big beautiful nebula after him as a fitting final tribute. What’s the best method of birth control? Who does this show think we care about? How ca...

When a team of Lennie scientists finds Borgsicles under the ice, thawing them out and getting too close leads to new urges around base camp. But when the Entrepreneur gets sent to intercept by Admiral Forrest, Archer blows up their damn ship after closing the First Contact loop. Who needs to look at their own messy-ass starships? What’s the best way to open a can? Which Borg drone was missing from this story? It’s the episode that ...

When the Entrepreneur stops by a hypergiant star, they get to know a gregarious alien species that’s very generous with their tech. But when the two captains take a field trip and Tucker goes rouge with a Vissian, the implications for First Contact put everyone on the edge. How high can the writers’ room count? Where do cogenitors poop at the airport? What should be chiseled into Archer’s tombstone? It’s the episode that never fail...

When a group of Denobulan scientists needs rescuing underground, an away team covered in spelunking gear explores a different type of Star Trek cave. But when an injured Antaran refuses treatment by Dr. Phox, Captain Know-It-All forces them to take one small step toward reconciliation. What is the golden death triangle of sadness? How do you keep a tribble from reproducing? Which movie most honors Gene Hackman’s legacy? It’s the ep...

When the Entrepreneur gets diverted to watch some hot space action, Mayweather asks for leave to visit his family on the Horizon. But when his father’s sudden death places Paul Mayweather in a position of authority, working together to save the ship from space pirates gives the brothers hope for the future. How does Travis maintain his abs? What are horror movies of the future like? Who else could have been a sexual interest for No...

When Archer gets put on trial for helping refugees in need, his simple country Klingon lawyer requires some inspiration to mount a defense. But when the magistrate’s ruling doesn’t feel like justice, a courtroom outburst sends both of them to the dilithium mines. What’s the spiky bird of Qo'noS? How do Klingon courts make money? Where was Kolos born? It’s the episode where Rura Penthe is keeping things fun.

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When MaxFun Drive is around the corner and the Friends of DeSoto have questions, Ben and Adam sit down with producer Wynde to see what answers they can find. But when all of the accessories are the same color and video game lines get drawn in the sand, nostalgia and redundancy keep the pod sausage factory humming. Which aircraft probably costs extra in Microsoft Flight Simulator? What’s the most tedious way to play Scrabble? Who ca...

When a huge chode ship approaches the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer assembles a team to investigate its gaping maw immediately. But when wispy beings start inhabiting members of the crew, their strange experiences and after-school special behavior make another mass retreat to the catwalk necessary. How could Reed be caught unawares? Which wisp should have been sent first? What was Mayweather doing all day? It’s the episode that’s go...

When Captain Archer and Commander Tucker get snatched out of their shuttlepod, they’re placed on a prison transport ship with an unspeakably dangerous criminal. But when his Con Air plan goes into action and Archer somehow manages to impress him, refusing to go back to Canamar is the last decision he’ll make. Whose poop is so hard that it snapped a spoon? How long will Ben remain a winner in Polo Polo or Pollo? Which specialist is ...

When the Entrepreneur finds a tin can tumbling through space, they bring it aboard and start dropping things down its impossibly deep hatch. But when the Suliban and the Tholians both show up and start fighting over the pod, unknown future people finally collect their shit after which the NX-01 isn’t even worth a torpedo. When does an extra 5mm make a difference? Where else could you donate your body? Which shot is named after Chri...

When the Vulcans and the Andorians start fighting over the same shitty planet, Captain Archer gets called in on special diplomatic duty and no one really knows why. But when Shran releases a hostage and tries to open a conversation with Ambassador Soval, Suzie Plakson breaks rank and reveals she’s a war-hungry anti-Vulcite. Which superhero do you want at a sex party? Who is logicing like a fox? Will Shran ever sleep again? It’s the...