The Greatest Generation

When the Entrepreneur happens upon some expanding space queso, they rescue an alien pod and find a hotboxing party guy inside. But after various types of tension start boiling over on the ship, the new mystery alien disappears with a vaguely Xindi threat. Where are there no rules about having a crock pot? Which kind of alien never gets considered on Star Trek? What has Dark Archer started calling the airlock? It’s the episode that’...

When the Entrepreneur captures Degra and sets up an elaborate ruse, Captain Archer starts to gain his trust to extract more information about the weapon’s construction. But after getting wise to his circumstances and losing in close combat to Archer, Degra’s memory is wiped again after a risky double Barashing. What’s the only thing that foretells a ninja hippy? Where is it ok to have nine girlfriends? Which alien ship comes with a...

When Shran rescues the Entrepreneur from a foamy green anomaly, his crew comes aboard to help with repairs while another Xindi weapon test gets underway. But after a disappointing result for Degra and a double-cross by the Andorians, Captain Archer wins the game of chicken and gets a mysterious message from a mission sympathizer. Which character can any freelancer sympathize with? When is it hard to balance the ledger? What’s next ...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress signal from a ship full of alien peepers, Captain Archer offers them a tour and puts everyone in position to hijack the ship. But after Archer plays dead in the transporter alcove, simple D’Jamat realizes he did a bad job at jacking. Which sport did Hoshi switch over to? What’s left over in the crematorium? Who’s not playing by Sid Meier rules? It’s the episode that’s recruiting for a holy ...

When the Xindi turn up in Detroit for a bottle episode, Agent Daniels sends Captain Archer and T’Pol on a time-travel mission. But after they shake down Loomis for info on the blood bank, Archer plans his attack from inside the warehouse. Which hypothetical dessert do we need Adam Ragusea’s comment on? What did Rockin' Ricky Rialto ruin forever? Who’s into blood play? It’s the episode that strains credulity in at least two ways.

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When Trip’s funeral kicks off the cold open, we go back in time to learn about the accident that caused Dr. Phlox to suggest an unorthodox procedure to save his life with some new brains. But after the symbiote they’ve created starts looking for solutions to keep living, hard dark Archer insists that he’s willing to kill him to complete the mission. What’s the shitty thing about having a business? Which type of child actor is a bre...

When the Entrepreneur finds an old west play set in the middle of the Delphic Expanse, the away team raids the costume drawer and heads down just in time to see a maybe alien get lynched. But after they learn the history of the humans and the Skagarans on this planet, Captain Archer encourages the Sheriff to make some new laws before they pick them back up. Why is Marc Maron actually retiring? What’s the best kind of homework? How ...

When Archer wakes up and doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, T’Pol gets to be captain as the Xindi weapon cruises towards Earth. But after Phlox finally finds a cure for Memento disease, T’Pol dodges the caretaker bullet when Archer resets the timeline. What does a Xindi planet-killing weapon never come with? Who gets darker than dark Archer? Why does Ben have bugs in the studio? It’s the episode that measures on the enchilada ...

When Captain Archer leads an away team to a Xindi refinery planet, they meet an Arboreal who likes to drink alone and agrees to help them avoid another attack. But after Trip almost blows up the damn ship, Archer tip-of-the-spears a tracker into one of Degra‘s canisters of kemocite. Who sleeps in a full suit? Where do we need more motion lights? What does civil war do? It’s the episode with Gralik’s name on the box.

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When Hoshi gets a telepathic cold call, her new suitor offers to help Captain Archer’s pursuit of the Xindi as long as Hoshi stays over at his creepy castle. But after she reluctantly agrees and finds he can’t take no for an answer, she has to threaten his crystal to get back to the NX-01. Which button shows true desperation? What’s the worst Star Trek food we’ve ever seen? Should Hoshi have just stayed in uniform? It’s the episode...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress call from a Vulcan ship, a severely under-resourced away team heads over in a shuttlepod. But when T’Pol starts showing paranoid symptoms and her former colleagues are beyond help, Archer and Tucker barely get their only two shuttlepods back to the NX-01. Who isn’t going commando? Which crew member is like a licorice jellybean? What does this show really love? It’s the episode that’s broadc...

When the Entrepreneur shows up at a seasteading planet, Archer goes looking for Xindi but finds a top-shelf babe who wants to escape the slave trade. But after she comes aboard and starts giving the crew hand jobs, two Xindi ships arrive to collect her and her data. Who is leech curious? Which spice wasn’t included in the exchange? What’s the shoestring fries of salads? It’s the episode with some surprising serialized consequences.

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When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Who always ruins a good dream? It’s t...

When the Entrepreneur is flying Winnie the Poo style through the expanse, anomalies bring them out of warp near a vessel full of deads. But when they’re boarded and robbed by space pirates, Captain Archer turns his prisoner into a plan to retrieve their booty. Who is going inside out first? What is the Cochran equation? Which two things will get you killed in the Delphic Expanse? It’s the episode that could have used a crazy straw.

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When the Entrepreneur is six weeks into the expanse, the Captain’s only lead is an unscrupulous foreman with a Xindi miner. But when Archer and Trip get trapped with the prisoner, their sewer-based escape ends tragically at a set of useless coordinates that push them deeper into the expanse. Where’s the fresh content for a Florence Nightingale foot fetish? What could have made Trip’s nightmare better? Who is turning professional co...

When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when they get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at honor. What’s in the lobby of Big Dish? How is agave spirit like processed cheese fo...

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr. Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who can be a sniper in the Klingon military? It’s the episode that wants to wrap the grap!

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When Captain Archer gets bad news involving A.G. Robinson and a mountain, his solo away mission to a dark matter nebular turns into story time with T’Pol in the the middle seat. But when she learns about their rivalry and how Robinson influenced Archer’s career, she suggests naming their big beautiful nebula after him as a fitting final tribute. What’s the best method of birth control? Who does this show think we care about? How ca...

When a team of Lennie scientists finds Borgsicles under the ice, thawing them out and getting too close leads to new urges around base camp. But when the Entrepreneur gets sent to intercept by Admiral Forrest, Archer blows up their damn ship after closing the First Contact loop. Who needs to look at their own messy-ass starships? What’s the best way to open a can? Which Borg drone was missing from this story? It’s the episode that ...