December 24, 2024 • 31 mins
Do you sometimes feel a little bit out of place in the entrepreneur world? You KNOW you are made for entrepreneurship and you KNOW you want to run your own business but sometimes the voices around you and the posts you see online tell you to do things you don't feel that comfortable doing (and yes, that includes dancing on Reels!).
Or, are you wondering if you can still succeed in business if you are an introvert?
Or, are you determined to succeed but want a little guidance on strategies that might work better for you?
If so, this episode is definitely for you. As a natural introvert, I have learnt a heap over the past 15 years about how to be a successful introvert entrepreneur in an extrovert world. Yes, it might mean changing a few things. But actually knowing what it means to be an introvert and how that impacts your entrepreneurial journey really helps.
Listen in to find out more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
You're listening to the InsideOut Entrepreneur podcast.
Today I am talking aboutunderstanding yourself better and
four changes I have made to mylife as an introvert that might help
you with your life too.
All right, buckle up, enjoythe ride.
This is your time now.
Okay, let's go.
(00:21):
Hi, I'm Susie Belmont, amultiple seven figure entrepreneur
with 15 years experiencebuilding and selling businesses,
as well as being a psychologyexpert, qualified coach and therapist.
Think of this show as personaldevelopment for women like you who
want to master your innerworld in order to lead yourself to
greater external success,whether that's in relationships,
(00:44):
emotionally, in business or financially.
So pull up your chair and getready to change your life and your
business from the inside out.
This is the Inside OutEntrepreneur podcast.
Hello everyone and welcomeback to another episode of the podcast
with me, your host, Susie Belmont.
(01:04):
And to start off today'sepisode, I want to ask you a few
questions.
The first is whether you are awoman who sometimes feels like you
are a little bit out of placein the world, especially in the business
world.
Like you are an introvertliving in a predominantly extrovert
business world.
(01:25):
Does that resonate?
For example, you might reallywant to build your business and build
your financial incomealongside that, but your newsfeed
often shows an endless streamof events and social gatherings and
flying around the world thatmake you feel exhausted by just watching,
let alone actually being there.
Or perhaps you're watchingpeople who've grown their business
and you feel like they arealways socializing and always meeting
(01:48):
up with people and that makesyou feel like you might not have
the energy to be constantly inquotes on Perhaps you've decided
that you want the business andthe income, but you don't necessarily
want that to mean that youhave to be constantly social or traveling
or at events or doing face toface things all of the time.
You want just a little bitmore balance than you're seeing from
(02:09):
the people that you follow.
But then on the other hand,you might also be thinking, well,
wait a second, I do actuallywant some social things.
I don't want to just be on myown and I do want to network with
some people and I quite liketo do some lives and things, but
just maybe not on the sameintensity that those other people
are doing.
Perhaps you want consistency,but you don't love the idea of consistency
(02:30):
all of the time, as sometimesyou just want to have you time instead
and not feel like you're onthis hamster wheel of having to keep
going.
But then you might questionhow that works.
Perhaps as you're listening,you even start to question, are you
really an introvert?
Maybe you're an extrovert introvert.
Or maybe you're wondering,does it even matter anyway?
You just want to feel goodwith your business, whatever that
(02:52):
looks like, and the label ofwhat you are doesn't matter.
My second question to you,although that first question was
quite long, but my secondquestion is, how do you feel when
people say, build your lifeand your business so it's authentically
you?
Perhaps you're thinking, youknow, at the age that I'm at, I'm
not entirely sure whatauthentically me actually is anymore
(03:13):
because I've heard so manyconflicting messages.
Or maybe you think that theword authentic is so overused because
it is, that actually itdoesn't really mean anything anymore,
especially when you've seennot very authentic people using it.
Or maybe you're recognizingthat the way that you've been showing
up your entire life doesn'tnecessarily feel authentic to you.
Maybe you were recentlydiagnosed with ADHD or autism or
(03:36):
both or something like that,and you've realized that you've been
masking your entire flippinglife, so you're figuring out the
real you alongside figuringout how the real you is also going
to be authentic.
Or maybe you're realizing thatyou've had a lot of trauma in your
life in the past and you'velived in a total survival mode and
you're trying to dovetail yourbusiness with who you are in this
(03:58):
current time, who this currentversion of you is.
And somewhere inside you youwonder where your introvert piece
sits in all of this.
Maybe you can be a little bitextroverted because you've trained
yourself to be like that, butyou're curious about the more introverted
side of you and how that wouldwork in life and business if it were
authentically you.
(04:19):
Maybe you are recognizing thatit's not really the label that you
need, but the feeling and thevalidation that you are going to
be just fine doing it your wayand you don't have to do a million
courses that don't feel a goodfit, or try to force yourself into
certain ways of being onlinewhen they don't work for your personality
type.
Maybe what this is all aboutis you just finally want to relax
(04:41):
into you, to be you, and tobuild a business that actually feels
like it's 100% you.
If this is you, and if you arean introvert or you've always suspected
that you are an introvert,then listen on Believe it or not
A lot of entrepreneurs,especially female entrepreneurs,
are introverts but are oftenmistaken for extroverts because they
(05:04):
are showing up online andpeople think, wow, they're showing
up.
That's that means that they'rean extrovert.
What you then don't see somuch of is that the true introverts
are actually doing a lot morebehind the scenes to rebalance themselves
energetically after showing up online.
Those posts don't tend to beas visible introverts in my experience
anyway, and certainly workingwith clients as well who are introverts
(05:25):
also tend to feel much more ofa need for breaks and breaks from
the socializing things.
So consistency can actuallyfeel like a real burden at times.
Introvert consistency isn'talways the same as extrovert consistency.
If this sounds like you, well,welcome to the introvert entrepreneur
club.
It's a pretty darn big clubbecause there are lots of us and
(05:46):
I'm in this club too.
I'm 100% an introvertentrepreneur and so are many, many
others that I know.
And there are some pret famousintrovert entrepreneurs out there.
Take J.K.
rowling as one example.
She is incredibly successful,but you rarely see her doing the
constant visibility thingbecause she's built a business that
works around who she is.
And that is the first point toremind yourself of.
(06:08):
Being an introvert does notstop you from building the business
that you want.
It does not stop you frombeing an entrepreneur, nor does it
reduce the income you can make.
Again, I refer to J.K.
rowling here as an example ofsomebody who has made billions.
But it does sometimes meanthat you need to take a little bit
more time to really get toknow the introvert parts of yourself.
And sometimes that leads toyou choosing to do things a little
(06:30):
bit differently so you don'tend up a bit of a mess.
Remember, there is literallyno single right way to build a business
or to make money.
The only way that works foryou is your way and that way will
be dictated by reallyunderstanding who you are.
So today I'm going to look attwo questions.
Question number one is, areyou an introvert entrepreneur?
(06:50):
Because sometimes it's evenhard to know that.
That.
And then question number two,if you are what strategies can you
use to help you navigate ingrowing your business in a world
that can be dominated by theloud and confident people, by the
endless face to face eventsand even a subtle pressure to show
up consistently without any break.
And these are strategies thatI personally use myself because I
(07:11):
am a huge introvert.
So they are tried and they are tested.
Before I dig in though, I havea tiny favor to ask you.
Would you be able to just hitpause on the podcast right now and
if you are listening in ApplePodcasts, give me a little review
review sentence in the review section.
It helps me to know that youare enjoying it.
And if you're on Spotify, justleave a little comment.
As you know, I do the podcastfor free, but my payment in quotes,
(07:34):
if you want to call it that,is a little review in return telling
me what you are liking about them.
Don't leave me one.
If you don't like them, justdo it.
If you do like them, if you'rehappy to do that, that would be great.
Just hit pause now and thenreturn to the show afterwards.
Okay.
And back to the podcast this week.
So first up, question number one.
What is an introvert entrepreneur?
Well, for years I thought thatI was not an introvert because when
(07:56):
I'm forced into a situation Idon't enjoy, I find a way to cope.
I'd found a way around thenerves, around the fears.
So I figured out maybe I'm notan introvert.
Maybe I figured I was just abit broken and for a long time I
kind of had that belief.
I thought, well, I just don'twork the same way as other people
and I don't know, maybesomething's not working right.
But I just got on with it withthat knowledge.
(08:18):
And then several years ago, Idiscovered I was neurodiverse.
And this complicates it alittle bit more because I had been
become an Olympic gold medalstandard at masking.
And so I had to unwrap thatside too.
Which part of me was adhd?
Which part of me was introversion?
Which part of me was trauma?
Which part of me was justshowing up way too much in masculine
(08:40):
doing energy and constantlypushing, pushing and doing, doing
and not allowing myself tofall into my authentic feminine energy
and my receiving energy.
There were lots of differentparts that I had to look into, and
these are all sorts ofdifferent points that I've just raised
and I'm not going to deal withevery single one of those today.
Today I'm specificallyfocusing on the introversion side.
(09:01):
You see, it was only when Idid more research into introverts
that I kind of got a bitfrustrated because society is so
often geared towards definingsuccess according to extrovert male
neurotypical character traits.
And on the whole, introvertswere being framed as somehow weaker.
And this is something Icompletely disagree with so I'm sharing
(09:22):
this with you because youmight have gone down a similar path
in your journey or you mightbe doing the same right now.
You see, what this did to meat the time is that when I was growing
my business to multi five,multi six figures, and then ultimately
into multi seven, I wouldfrequently question whether I had
what it takes to be a proper entrepreneur.
I even questioned in the pastwhether introverts could successfully
(09:46):
find their place in the loudand brash online world.
And then slowly, I realized avery big truth.
Despite being a hugeintrovert, I was actually running
a business.
And it was successful.
It was very successful.
It was making a lot of money.
I noticed, however, that Ididn't always do what other people
did, and I still don't.
(10:07):
And if there is a common linethat everyone is pushing, I'm usually
doing something else.
I'm usually not listening to that.
You see, I've learned that Ihave to lean into my own way of doing
things that work for me.
And sometimes that's uncomfortable.
Sometimes as an introvert, I'mdoing something different to what
everyone else is telling me todo because I'm leaning into what
(10:27):
feels good.
And I'm also having toseparate that out from not leaning
into fear, because fear canalso feel good sometimes.
I.
E.
You don't do something becauseyou're afraid.
That's a different kind of thing.
Again, not for today.
Sometimes leaning into whatfelt right to me as an introvert
was really messy as I figuredout ways that I wanted to amend things,
(10:48):
literally live as I was going along.
And sometimes after I'vereleased something to ensure that
it's long term sustainable formy personality type, I have to make
amendments.
Sometimes that means I mightstart something and change it because
it just doesn't align, andthat is okay.
And sometimes that puts me inthe firing line for people who don't
really understand theintrovert world.
And there have been many timesin my career that I've been heavily
(11:11):
criticized for not followingwhat others were doing.
But I didn't schmooze to thosewho pandered to those extrovert personalities.
I had to just continue leaninginto who I really was.
And that journey is ongoing.
It will always be ongoing.
In this current season, I'mconstantly changing and tweaking
things to work around who I amright now because my introverted
(11:31):
ways show up differently.
As a perimenopausal womanwho's now got more anxiety than I
used to have compared to thewoman I was in my early 30s, and
I guess I'm saying all of thisinitially because the number one
reminder is that you do notneed to be an extrovert to be an
entrepreneur.
You don't have to be anyparticular type of person, but there
are a lot of brilliantqualities as an introvert that will
(11:54):
actually set you ahead of thepack in some areas.
So let's look at five traitsthat you might have which would make
you fall into the kind ofintrovert label, if that makes sense.
If you have at least some orall of these traits, then chances
are you are an introvert.
In which case, listen out forthe second part of this podcast when
I'm going to be talking aboutfour changes that you can make to
(12:17):
make your life easier if youare that introvert entrepreneur type.
Before I run through thesethough, remember that introversion
is a spectrum.
It's not black and white.
There are shades of grey.
So you could have a heap ofintrovert characteristics and then
one extrovert one too.
It is rare that someone ispurely one way or the other, so listen
in and see if you canrecognize any of these things as
(12:38):
being like you.
On top of that, your lifeexperiences can also change your
personality.
So you might have had timeswhere you felt more introvert than
others.
In short, introversion can bereally, really fluid.
So be compassionate, be niceto yourself and just listen and take
on board the bits that workfor you and ignore the bits that
don't.
Okay, characteristic numberone, number one on my list is that
(13:00):
you actually really, reallylike time to yourself.
This is a huge one for me.
I love time on my own.
I am more than happy in my owncompany and always have been and
actually sometimes need thattime alone.
And do you know how long ittook me to realize that that was
not something that was wrongwith me?
I was raised to believe thatif I was antisocial and if I just
(13:20):
wanted to have some time on myown, or if I didn't want to play
with the other kids in theplayground, that meant that I lacked
confidence and someone neededto fix me.
And sometimes that piecearound confidence actually became
self fulfilling as otherpeople projected their view of what
me wanting to be alone meantto them and they determined that
I wasn't confident enough andthey then tried to fix that side.
(13:41):
But actually for me, I wasreally quite happy being on my so
this will be the number onepoint on the list.
Number two, you may preferworking alone or in a really small
team rather than a big team.
Now I'm not talking about younot being Able to work in a team.
I spent half my career workingin big teams, but I didn't like it.
The bits I enjoyed were thebits where I could go to my office,
(14:03):
close the door and just get onwith it, or work with a really small
group, maybe four or five people.
I kind of hated being in thisbig team and this big room with lots
and lots of people and theinefficiency of all of it, and the
big loud person who wouldalways want to be in control.
Control.
And I ended up competing withthat person and trying to be the
loud person.
I felt I needed to speak, eventhough that was not really the true
(14:24):
me.
If I'd done what I wanted todo, I would have just got on with
my bit and not tried tocompete with that other person.
So if you're more happyworking on your own, then you have
another tick on the introvert list.
If you are more happy workingin a small team rather than a big
team, probably another tick onthe list.
It might be that you aresomeone who's built a business and
expanded it with a really bigteam because your contemporary extrovert
(14:46):
role models were doing thatand that's what you thought success
meant.
But for you as an introvert,you might actually prefer a business
model that is more intimatewith a smaller team, perhaps less
turnover, but higher profits.
It's all for you to choose.
Okay, characteristic number three.
You might prefer writing outyour thoughts rather than speaking
them out loud.
(15:07):
Okay, has this ever happenedto you?
Someone says something to youand you cannot think what to say.
Maybe it was a cutting commentor she was rude or she was unnecessary,
or he was rude or unnecessary.
And in your mind you have all,all of these things you want to say,
but what comes out is just abit weak.
You would rather avoid theconfrontation or an argument.
So you almost let the otherperson say what they want just to
(15:29):
move on and avoid having tohave that kind of face to face moment.
Then for the next three orfour hours, you think of all the
answers you could have saidand you even write them down.
And when you do, the responseis perfect, it's spot on, it's exactly
right.
But then it's too late.
This is a classiccharacteristic I definitely identify
with.
I prefer writing.
I prefer writing my thoughtsso I have time to process them.
(15:51):
And I really, really hate thephrase you need to think on your
feet.
No, no, I think best at a deskwith a keyboard or with a pen in
my hand and a coffee and adoodle pad.
That's there to help me thinkand to process the outer world into
my inner world.
And what I learned later inlife is that I'm a natural writer.
Writing comes really easily to me.
(16:12):
And I think this is actuallyconnected to my introvert ways.
Because for so long I had to mask.
For so much of my life, I mask.
And so I kind of learned lotsof different characters by imitating
different extroverts around me.
And funnily enough, this makesit really easy to stand in other
people's shoes when I'm writing.
And so one day I have a bigambition to write some books.
(16:32):
And I mention this in casethis also resonates with you.
If you're a bit of a naturalwriter and you like writing and you
feel really comfortable thereand you find it easy to step into
other people's shoes becauseyou've spent so long imitating.
Yes, some of that may be downto neurodiversity and masking, but
some of it is also down to introversion.
Number four characteristic.
You like a few friends, butnot millions and millions of friends.
(16:54):
If you find that you like totalk to people and you like to get
to know them, this is leaninginto your more introvert side.
Now, I'm not saying extrovertsdon't get to know people.
I'm just saying that there's adifferent tendency, a different choice.
It's more about you findingout about other people rather than
you talking about yourself.
So actually, if someone givesyou a glass of wine at a party, you
can strike up a conversation,but if the group gets bigger and
(17:17):
bigger in the conversation,you would rather stay talking to
the small, smaller mini grouprather than be in the bigger group.
And I'm raising my hand hereas this is me.
I can make friends and I cansocialize, but I actually prefer
to have a few high qualityrelationships rather than million
and millions of friends that Idon't know that well.
Part of my understanding of myintroverted personality was learning
(17:38):
that I didn't need to pushmyself to go to big arenas and concerts
and things that were rammedwith people where I was going to
have to talk to lots and lotsof people all of the time.
I knew that my downtime fromthat would be really high on the
other side.
So I needed to limit theamount of times that I did that that
might resonate with you.
And then finally, number five,you are very, very self aware.
(17:59):
This last one, the last oneI've picked, and I should add here
that there are way more thanfive characteristics, but these are
probably my top five when I'mthinking about entrepreneurship,
and this last one I've pickedis that you are very inward turning.
What I mean by that is thatyou are actually very focused on
what you are about.
So you might think a lot aboutyour life, what you're lear learning
and really understanding howyou tick.
(18:20):
And you find all of this quite interesting.
I do this.
It's one of the reasons thatI'm such an expert on inner worlds
and mindset and energy andunderstanding how your mind works
and how that relates to yourunning your business or your interactions
with your family or whethersomething interests you or not.
Now, I'm not saying thatextroverts don't find that interesting,
but for sure it is acharacteristic that I relate to as
(18:40):
an introvert and theintroversion is very closely connected
to that.
Okay, so although I've pickedout these character traits as my
top five other things that youmight relate to, and I'm going to
give you four more just asquick sentences.
So number one, if you feelreally unfocused, if you are overstimulated,
that could also be connectedto being quite introverted.
Number two, you can feeloverwhelmed if you're in a busy social
(19:03):
situation or even busy in yourown situations.
Number three, you like tolearn by watching others rather than
jumping straight in first timeand doing it yourself.
So your typical extrovert willuse trial and error themselves, whereas
an introvert is morecomfortable watching and then trying.
And then finally, number four,you like jobs that involve independence
(19:24):
and not jobs that involve alot of social interaction.
So what does all this mean?
And why am I talking about allof these little different personality
quirks?
Well, for me, once I realizedthat being an introvert was not an
inferior quality when being anentrepreneur or building my business,
I started to give myself a bitof a break.
I started to recognize thethings I needed to do to help myself
balance my introvert life witha world that so often seems to primarily
(19:48):
cater for extroverts.
So what can you do to helpyourself with some of the things
I've mentioned if theyresonate with you?
And what I'm going to give youfor the rest of this podcast are
four changes that I made to mylife that I'm hoping by sharing these
with you that you might beable to find some or all of them
useful things that you mightbe able to implement too.
(20:09):
Okay, change number one.
This is scheduling what I callwhite space time.
I have done this for a long,long time and I've spoken About this
before.
In the previous iterations ofthe podcast, one of the main traits
for me was that I feltphysically and mentally exhausted
after big social events.
And when I say big socialevents, sometimes they weren't even
(20:29):
that big, just big.
For me, this is both in mypersonal life and in my work life.
So if, for example, we hadpeople to stay for a weekend, or
I had to work a weekend doinga class or a talk or anything that
meant I was out on display, Iwould finish it and be really drained,
like really exhausted.
And that came with a sense ofpanic as to why.
(20:50):
And I used to beat myself upabout this and think that I had to
just suck it up and get onwith the next thing until I realized
that introverts need toschedule in the space around these
events.
And so what I now do is ensurethat I cushion big events with quiet
days to myself either side.
For example, if I had aweekend of social staff parties,
business conferences, orsomething similar, I would make sure
(21:12):
that the following Monday wascompletely empty.
Nothing.
No meetups, no privateclients, no calls, nothing.
Just time to get my headrecovered from the social drain that
happens when I'm socializing.
Now, if you compare that to anextrovert who loves people all the
time, they will not feel as drained.
They will bounce from onesocial event to another and it won't
be so tiring.
(21:33):
If, however, you are more likeme, try scheduling some space, some
white space to cushion yoursocial events.
Think of it like recoverytime, where your mind and your body
can rebalance to a level thatyou feel more comfortable with and
then you'll carry on as normalafter that.
You cannot reset your personality.
It is how you are born.
(21:54):
So the sooner you accept thatyou are this way and you learn to
manage it, the easier it gets.
Remember, embrace it.
Extroverts will not alwaysunderstand you and may think that
you are a little bit curt orshy or even rude.
And this is not your fault.
This is their lack of understanding.
Because unless you are anintrovert, you don't really know
what this feels like.
(22:15):
And remember, alongside thisand being an introvert, it's not
your entire personality.
You may also be neurodiverse.
You may have trauma, you mayhave limiting beliefs and blocks.
You may be working way more inyour masculine and femme rather than
feminine energy.
There are lots of things thatmake you up, so labeling yourself
as just an introvert probablydoesn't help either.
(22:36):
But the faster you start toreally learn who you are and how
you work from the inside out,the easier Your business, your relationships,
making money and just life become.
This is why I do what I do andwhy I work with people in my one
to one and my courses.
Because everything is aboutwho you are, not what you're doing.
Okay, change number three.
This is recognizing thatoverstimulation can lead to a massive
(22:59):
drop in your energy.
And this is seriously anhonest revelation for me because
I know that it may help withsome of you.
Sometimes if I push myself toofar out my own self boundaries because
I'm seduced by the extrovertworld, I get overwhelmed.
And when that happens, mycreative brain completely shuts down.
And that, as a naturallycreative person, can actually be
(23:20):
really scary.
If you feel like you'vesuddenly lost your superpower, this
is probably happening now.
In the past I used to have amassive energetic drop as a result
of this, but now I reallyunderstand my energetics and I work
with energy a lot, so thisdoesn't happen so much as a side
effect.
But I'm mentioning it becauseit may be happening to you.
This massive drop of energy asa result of overstimulation was something
(23:44):
I looked into quite a lot.
You see, introverts can startto feel drained and overwhelmed even
when to everyone else theirworld looks perfect.
This happens because it's easyto become seduced by the excitement
of the extrovert ways.
And then you end upaccidentally trying to live and work
a little bit like an extrovert.
You go out with your friends,you go out with your husband, or
(24:05):
at least you try to have somedate nights, even if that's watching
TV together.
You keep yourself busy, busy,busy falling into the masculine way
of doing things and pushingand doing all of the time.
You might take courses run byextroverts and then you're influenced
by their ways too.
And then even if you flip alittle bit more into your more feminine
side and you allow yourself toreceive, you might not have built
(24:25):
any of that white space timethat I mentioned earlier.
And sometimes the error hereis to try and fix the energy drop
by trying to do something, bytrying to keep going.
Because society makes you feelthat you have to live like this extrovert
in an extrovert world.
So you think that you have todo something, even though that's
not what is your naturalfeeling at this point.
(24:46):
When your energy is dropped asan introvert, you may feel much less
overwhelmed if you focus moretime on receiving and flowing just
than by doing things all ofthe time.
Does that make sense?
Giving yourself permission tostop doing for a Little bit to recover,
to receive and to actuallybuild that into your normal life.
(25:06):
Because it is all a balance.
But if you feel out ofbalance, instead of looking for something
to do to fix that, instead oflooking at ways to do things, look
at ways of receiving things instead.
Less doing, more being who youreally are.
That might be taking time toremove some of the stimulations,
or stepping off the hamsterwheel for a few days, or just allowing
(25:28):
yourself to schedule thatspace time, that white time, allowing
yourself to receive time and space.
Lack of that white space willleave you feeling overwhelmed.
Even when you're on top ofyour work, even when you're thinking,
I'm not overwhelmed, you willstill feel it.
You will lose some of yourcreativity and think, why am I overwhelmed?
Why on earth am I feeling like this?
(25:49):
And you might be thinkingthings like, normally, I would manage
this, but it's going wrong.
And you get easily distractedand you're not moving forward.
Chances are it's going wrongbecause you didn't give yourself
the white space.
And the reason I wanted totalk about this is because the fix
is so easy.
Just build a little bit morewhite space into your weekly regular
timetable.
All you do is close out theworld for a short while until you're
(26:12):
feeling normal again.
And there is nothing wrongwith that.
You're not antisocial, you'renot broken.
You are just an introvert personality.
You don't have to keep going.
You're not a machine that'ssupposed to be going all of the time.
Like your batteries never run out.
Once I made this change, thechanges in my life that rippled from
that were massive.
Understanding how I had thepower to control my week and not
(26:35):
make it like I was seeingother people doing it, and actually
scheduling all of that whitespace and that time to just recharge
made such a huge difference.
Now, I would just add herebecause it's really important that
although I'm talking abouttaking these bits of time out, they're
supposed to be short periods,maybe a day or so, not weeks and
weeks and months and months.
Because there's a differencebetween white space time and then
(26:56):
total isolation.
And if you're isolatingyourself, that can be really damaging
to your mental health.
So just make sure you keepthat distinction.
I'm talking about shortperiods of recharging, like recharging
your batteries.
And then finally change numberfour, stop listening to people who
say things like, I can turnyou from an introvert into an extrovert.
I used to read things likethis and see blog Posts like this
(27:17):
and read them thinking thatthere were genuinely steps I could
take to be more extrovert.
Now, they were quite often disguised.
They didn't have the words, Ican turn you from an introvert to
an extrovert.
They would say ways that youneed to change your business or things
that you need to do to show upmore online or things like that.
And I would equate these postsas telling me that I had to change
(27:40):
myself.
But actually, it was almost.
Now when I look back at it, itwas like, for example, reading something
like, I can turn you from gayto straight or from straight to gay,
it's just totally wrong.
It's totally ridiculous to tryand change someone from the person
that they were born to be,whether that's their sexual preference,
their gender, their color, ortheir introvert or extrovert nature.
You are you.
(28:01):
Who you are is the woman you are.
Embrace you and love the waythat you are and love being curious
about finding out more aboutyou and less about who you think
you should be.
Because once you reallyunderstand who you are and once you
understand what introversionmeans for you, then you can start
to educate those people aroundyou as to what that means for you
(28:22):
fitting in with your environment.
So let me give you an example here.
I sat down James, my husband,and my kids, and I just said, sometimes
mummy likes to go for a walkand just think on her own.
And I said to little Wren, whoat the time was much younger and
never, ever, ever stops talking.
She still doesn't.
She talks all the time.
And so I had to sit with her.
And I still do.
And I teach her that sometimesI can just sit and I can just have
(28:44):
a hug with her and I don'tneed to speak.
And that doesn't mean that I'mnot happy or doesn't mean there's
something wrong.
It just means I don't want tospeak as much.
And for us as a family, we'vehad a huge focus on our kids over
the years, on trying to teachthem who they are and then to respect
other people for who they are too.
You, it's about understandingdifferent types of people.
And this is no different foryou as adults.
(29:06):
So if you can get your closestpeople around you on board with what
your needs are, you don't needto apologize for your needs.
You just need to be confidentto say, this is who I am.
And I've done a bit ofresearch and I've worked out a little
bit more about who I am, and Ineed to show up in these ways once
you've worked out what theyare, in order to feel positive, to
feel happy, and to feelcontent with my life.
(29:27):
To feel authentic.
The real authentic, not theauthentic that you might have thought
about in the past.
You're not apologizing, you'rejust embracing the real parts of
who you are, which is part ofwhat total freedom is.
Now.
This applies to all of you.
All parts of you, not just theintroversion part.
Every single aspect of who you are.
(29:48):
So I'm hoping today's episodeis just helping you give a little
bit more understanding to thisintroverted side of you.
Because understanding exactlywho you are in all levels is the
key to almost everything inlife and in business.
Okay, so those are my fourchanges that I took to help me better
manage my life as an introvertin an extrovert world.
(30:09):
And I hope some of you willfind them useful in your business
and in your personal journeys.
Remember, life is not aboutbeing the same as everyone else.
It is 100% about embracingbeing different, unique, individual
and truly you.
And if you can carry thatthrough to your business as well,
you have something reallyextremely special.
(30:30):
And that is all from me this week.
I hope you find this a usefulepisode and if you did enjoy it,
just leave a little five starreview over on Apple podcast or a
comment over on Spotify or tagme on socials with an image of you
or the podcast or whateverworks for you.
And as I've mentionedpreviously, if you are looking for
a little bit more regulardaily motivation, then head on over
(30:51):
to my website and look in thefooter or the header in the header
menu on Explore section andyou will see the Inside Out Wisdom
series on my website.
You can go read about whatthat is there, but you will love
that if you've liked thisepisode because it is all about boosting
your daily motivation andunderstanding who you really are
on an energetic level from theinside out.
I will see you all next timeand have a great week.
(31:13):
Bye.
You're listening to the InsideOut Entrepreneur podcast.
Today I am talking aboutunderstanding yourself better and
four changes I have made to mylife as an introvert that might help
you with your life too.
All right, buckle up, enjoythe ride.
This is your time now.
Okay, let's go.
(00:21):
Hi, I'm Susie Belmont, amultiple seven figure entrepreneur
with 15 years experiencebuilding and selling businesses,
as well as being a psychologyexpert, qualified coach and therapist.
Think of this show as personaldevelopment for women like you who
want to master your innerworld in order to lead yourself to
greater external success,whether that's in relationships,
(00:44):
emotionally, in business or financially.
So pull up your chair and getready to change your life and your
business from the inside out.
This is the Inside OutEntrepreneur podcast.
Hello everyone and welcomeback to another episode of the podcast
with me, your host, Susie Belmont.
(01:04):
And to start off today'sepisode, I want to ask you a few
questions.
The first is whether you are awoman who sometimes feels like you
are a little bit out of placein the world, especially in the business
world.
Like you are an introvertliving in a predominantly extrovert
business world.
(01:25):
Does that resonate?
For example, you might reallywant to build your business and build
your financial incomealongside that, but your newsfeed
often shows an endless streamof events and social gatherings and
flying around the world thatmake you feel exhausted by just watching,
let alone actually being there.
Or perhaps you're watchingpeople who've grown their business
and you feel like they arealways socializing and always meeting
(01:48):
up with people and that makesyou feel like you might not have
the energy to be constantly inquotes on Perhaps you've decided
that you want the business andthe income, but you don't necessarily
want that to mean that youhave to be constantly social or traveling
or at events or doing face toface things all of the time.
You want just a little bitmore balance than you're seeing from
(02:09):
the people that you follow.
But then on the other hand,you might also be thinking, well,
wait a second, I do actuallywant some social things.
I don't want to just be on myown and I do want to network with
some people and I quite liketo do some lives and things, but
just maybe not on the sameintensity that those other people
are doing.
Perhaps you want consistency,but you don't love the idea of consistency
(02:30):
all of the time, as sometimesyou just want to have you time instead
and not feel like you're onthis hamster wheel of having to keep
going.
But then you might questionhow that works.
Perhaps as you're listening,you even start to question, are you
really an introvert?
Maybe you're an extrovert introvert.
Or maybe you're wondering,does it even matter anyway?
You just want to feel goodwith your business, whatever that
(02:52):
looks like, and the label ofwhat you are doesn't matter.
My second question to you,although that first question was
quite long, but my secondquestion is, how do you feel when
people say, build your lifeand your business so it's authentically
you?
Perhaps you're thinking, youknow, at the age that I'm at, I'm
not entirely sure whatauthentically me actually is anymore
(03:13):
because I've heard so manyconflicting messages.
Or maybe you think that theword authentic is so overused because
it is, that actually itdoesn't really mean anything anymore,
especially when you've seennot very authentic people using it.
Or maybe you're recognizingthat the way that you've been showing
up your entire life doesn'tnecessarily feel authentic to you.
Maybe you were recentlydiagnosed with ADHD or autism or
(03:36):
both or something like that,and you've realized that you've been
masking your entire flippinglife, so you're figuring out the
real you alongside figuringout how the real you is also going
to be authentic.
Or maybe you're realizing thatyou've had a lot of trauma in your
life in the past and you'velived in a total survival mode and
you're trying to dovetail yourbusiness with who you are in this
(03:58):
current time, who this currentversion of you is.
And somewhere inside you youwonder where your introvert piece
sits in all of this.
Maybe you can be a little bitextroverted because you've trained
yourself to be like that, butyou're curious about the more introverted
side of you and how that wouldwork in life and business if it were
authentically you.
(04:19):
Maybe you are recognizing thatit's not really the label that you
need, but the feeling and thevalidation that you are going to
be just fine doing it your wayand you don't have to do a million
courses that don't feel a goodfit, or try to force yourself into
certain ways of being onlinewhen they don't work for your personality
type.
Maybe what this is all aboutis you just finally want to relax
(04:41):
into you, to be you, and tobuild a business that actually feels
like it's 100% you.
If this is you, and if you arean introvert or you've always suspected
that you are an introvert,then listen on Believe it or not
A lot of entrepreneurs,especially female entrepreneurs,
are introverts but are oftenmistaken for extroverts because they
(05:04):
are showing up online andpeople think, wow, they're showing
up.
That's that means that they'rean extrovert.
What you then don't see somuch of is that the true introverts
are actually doing a lot morebehind the scenes to rebalance themselves
energetically after showing up online.
Those posts don't tend to beas visible introverts in my experience
anyway, and certainly workingwith clients as well who are introverts
(05:25):
also tend to feel much more ofa need for breaks and breaks from
the socializing things.
So consistency can actuallyfeel like a real burden at times.
Introvert consistency isn'talways the same as extrovert consistency.
If this sounds like you, well,welcome to the introvert entrepreneur
club.
It's a pretty darn big clubbecause there are lots of us and
(05:46):
I'm in this club too.
I'm 100% an introvertentrepreneur and so are many, many
others that I know.
And there are some pret famousintrovert entrepreneurs out there.
Take J.K.
rowling as one example.
She is incredibly successful,but you rarely see her doing the
constant visibility thingbecause she's built a business that
works around who she is.
And that is the first point toremind yourself of.
(06:08):
Being an introvert does notstop you from building the business
that you want.
It does not stop you frombeing an entrepreneur, nor does it
reduce the income you can make.
Again, I refer to J.K.
rowling here as an example ofsomebody who has made billions.
But it does sometimes meanthat you need to take a little bit
more time to really get toknow the introvert parts of yourself.
And sometimes that leads toyou choosing to do things a little
(06:30):
bit differently so you don'tend up a bit of a mess.
Remember, there is literallyno single right way to build a business
or to make money.
The only way that works foryou is your way and that way will
be dictated by reallyunderstanding who you are.
So today I'm going to look attwo questions.
Question number one is, areyou an introvert entrepreneur?
(06:50):
Because sometimes it's evenhard to know that.
That.
And then question number two,if you are what strategies can you
use to help you navigate ingrowing your business in a world
that can be dominated by theloud and confident people, by the
endless face to face eventsand even a subtle pressure to show
up consistently without any break.
And these are strategies thatI personally use myself because I
(07:11):
am a huge introvert.
So they are tried and they are tested.
Before I dig in though, I havea tiny favor to ask you.
Would you be able to just hitpause on the podcast right now and
if you are listening in ApplePodcasts, give me a little review
review sentence in the review section.
It helps me to know that youare enjoying it.
And if you're on Spotify, justleave a little comment.
As you know, I do the podcastfor free, but my payment in quotes,
(07:34):
if you want to call it that,is a little review in return telling
me what you are liking about them.
Don't leave me one.
If you don't like them, justdo it.
If you do like them, if you'rehappy to do that, that would be great.
Just hit pause now and thenreturn to the show afterwards.
Okay.
And back to the podcast this week.
So first up, question number one.
What is an introvert entrepreneur?
Well, for years I thought thatI was not an introvert because when
(07:56):
I'm forced into a situation Idon't enjoy, I find a way to cope.
I'd found a way around thenerves, around the fears.
So I figured out maybe I'm notan introvert.
Maybe I figured I was just abit broken and for a long time I
kind of had that belief.
I thought, well, I just don'twork the same way as other people
and I don't know, maybesomething's not working right.
But I just got on with it withthat knowledge.
(08:18):
And then several years ago, Idiscovered I was neurodiverse.
And this complicates it alittle bit more because I had been
become an Olympic gold medalstandard at masking.
And so I had to unwrap thatside too.
Which part of me was adhd?
Which part of me was introversion?
Which part of me was trauma?
Which part of me was justshowing up way too much in masculine
(08:40):
doing energy and constantlypushing, pushing and doing, doing
and not allowing myself tofall into my authentic feminine energy
and my receiving energy.
There were lots of differentparts that I had to look into, and
these are all sorts ofdifferent points that I've just raised
and I'm not going to deal withevery single one of those today.
Today I'm specificallyfocusing on the introversion side.
(09:01):
You see, it was only when Idid more research into introverts
that I kind of got a bitfrustrated because society is so
often geared towards definingsuccess according to extrovert male
neurotypical character traits.
And on the whole, introvertswere being framed as somehow weaker.
And this is something Icompletely disagree with so I'm sharing
(09:22):
this with you because youmight have gone down a similar path
in your journey or you mightbe doing the same right now.
You see, what this did to meat the time is that when I was growing
my business to multi five,multi six figures, and then ultimately
into multi seven, I wouldfrequently question whether I had
what it takes to be a proper entrepreneur.
I even questioned in the pastwhether introverts could successfully
(09:46):
find their place in the loudand brash online world.
And then slowly, I realized avery big truth.
Despite being a hugeintrovert, I was actually running
a business.
And it was successful.
It was very successful.
It was making a lot of money.
I noticed, however, that Ididn't always do what other people
did, and I still don't.
(10:07):
And if there is a common linethat everyone is pushing, I'm usually
doing something else.
I'm usually not listening to that.
You see, I've learned that Ihave to lean into my own way of doing
things that work for me.
And sometimes that's uncomfortable.
Sometimes as an introvert, I'mdoing something different to what
everyone else is telling me todo because I'm leaning into what
(10:27):
feels good.
And I'm also having toseparate that out from not leaning
into fear, because fear canalso feel good sometimes.
I.
E.
You don't do something becauseyou're afraid.
That's a different kind of thing.
Again, not for today.
Sometimes leaning into whatfelt right to me as an introvert
was really messy as I figuredout ways that I wanted to amend things,
(10:48):
literally live as I was going along.
And sometimes after I'vereleased something to ensure that
it's long term sustainable formy personality type, I have to make
amendments.
Sometimes that means I mightstart something and change it because
it just doesn't align, andthat is okay.
And sometimes that puts me inthe firing line for people who don't
really understand theintrovert world.
And there have been many timesin my career that I've been heavily
(11:11):
criticized for not followingwhat others were doing.
But I didn't schmooze to thosewho pandered to those extrovert personalities.
I had to just continue leaninginto who I really was.
And that journey is ongoing.
It will always be ongoing.
In this current season, I'mconstantly changing and tweaking
things to work around who I amright now because my introverted
(11:31):
ways show up differently.
As a perimenopausal womanwho's now got more anxiety than I
used to have compared to thewoman I was in my early 30s, and
I guess I'm saying all of thisinitially because the number one
reminder is that you do notneed to be an extrovert to be an
entrepreneur.
You don't have to be anyparticular type of person, but there
are a lot of brilliantqualities as an introvert that will
(11:54):
actually set you ahead of thepack in some areas.
So let's look at five traitsthat you might have which would make
you fall into the kind ofintrovert label, if that makes sense.
If you have at least some orall of these traits, then chances
are you are an introvert.
In which case, listen out forthe second part of this podcast when
I'm going to be talking aboutfour changes that you can make to
(12:17):
make your life easier if youare that introvert entrepreneur type.
Before I run through thesethough, remember that introversion
is a spectrum.
It's not black and white.
There are shades of grey.
So you could have a heap ofintrovert characteristics and then
one extrovert one too.
It is rare that someone ispurely one way or the other, so listen
in and see if you canrecognize any of these things as
(12:38):
being like you.
On top of that, your lifeexperiences can also change your
personality.
So you might have had timeswhere you felt more introvert than
others.
In short, introversion can bereally, really fluid.
So be compassionate, be niceto yourself and just listen and take
on board the bits that workfor you and ignore the bits that
don't.
Okay, characteristic numberone, number one on my list is that
(13:00):
you actually really, reallylike time to yourself.
This is a huge one for me.
I love time on my own.
I am more than happy in my owncompany and always have been and
actually sometimes need thattime alone.
And do you know how long ittook me to realize that that was
not something that was wrongwith me?
I was raised to believe thatif I was antisocial and if I just
(13:20):
wanted to have some time on myown, or if I didn't want to play
with the other kids in theplayground, that meant that I lacked
confidence and someone neededto fix me.
And sometimes that piecearound confidence actually became
self fulfilling as otherpeople projected their view of what
me wanting to be alone meantto them and they determined that
I wasn't confident enough andthey then tried to fix that side.
(13:41):
But actually for me, I wasreally quite happy being on my so
this will be the number onepoint on the list.
Number two, you may preferworking alone or in a really small
team rather than a big team.
Now I'm not talking about younot being Able to work in a team.
I spent half my career workingin big teams, but I didn't like it.
The bits I enjoyed were thebits where I could go to my office,
(14:03):
close the door and just get onwith it, or work with a really small
group, maybe four or five people.
I kind of hated being in thisbig team and this big room with lots
and lots of people and theinefficiency of all of it, and the
big loud person who wouldalways want to be in control.
Control.
And I ended up competing withthat person and trying to be the
loud person.
I felt I needed to speak, eventhough that was not really the true
(14:24):
me.
If I'd done what I wanted todo, I would have just got on with
my bit and not tried tocompete with that other person.
So if you're more happyworking on your own, then you have
another tick on the introvert list.
If you are more happy workingin a small team rather than a big
team, probably another tick onthe list.
It might be that you aresomeone who's built a business and
expanded it with a really bigteam because your contemporary extrovert
(14:46):
role models were doing thatand that's what you thought success
meant.
But for you as an introvert,you might actually prefer a business
model that is more intimatewith a smaller team, perhaps less
turnover, but higher profits.
It's all for you to choose.
Okay, characteristic number three.
You might prefer writing outyour thoughts rather than speaking
them out loud.
(15:07):
Okay, has this ever happenedto you?
Someone says something to youand you cannot think what to say.
Maybe it was a cutting commentor she was rude or she was unnecessary,
or he was rude or unnecessary.
And in your mind you have all,all of these things you want to say,
but what comes out is just abit weak.
You would rather avoid theconfrontation or an argument.
So you almost let the otherperson say what they want just to
(15:29):
move on and avoid having tohave that kind of face to face moment.
Then for the next three orfour hours, you think of all the
answers you could have saidand you even write them down.
And when you do, the responseis perfect, it's spot on, it's exactly
right.
But then it's too late.
This is a classiccharacteristic I definitely identify
with.
I prefer writing.
I prefer writing my thoughtsso I have time to process them.
(15:51):
And I really, really hate thephrase you need to think on your
feet.
No, no, I think best at a deskwith a keyboard or with a pen in
my hand and a coffee and adoodle pad.
That's there to help me thinkand to process the outer world into
my inner world.
And what I learned later inlife is that I'm a natural writer.
Writing comes really easily to me.
(16:12):
And I think this is actuallyconnected to my introvert ways.
Because for so long I had to mask.
For so much of my life, I mask.
And so I kind of learned lotsof different characters by imitating
different extroverts around me.
And funnily enough, this makesit really easy to stand in other
people's shoes when I'm writing.
And so one day I have a bigambition to write some books.
(16:32):
And I mention this in casethis also resonates with you.
If you're a bit of a naturalwriter and you like writing and you
feel really comfortable thereand you find it easy to step into
other people's shoes becauseyou've spent so long imitating.
Yes, some of that may be downto neurodiversity and masking, but
some of it is also down to introversion.
Number four characteristic.
You like a few friends, butnot millions and millions of friends.
(16:54):
If you find that you like totalk to people and you like to get
to know them, this is leaninginto your more introvert side.
Now, I'm not saying extrovertsdon't get to know people.
I'm just saying that there's adifferent tendency, a different choice.
It's more about you findingout about other people rather than
you talking about yourself.
So actually, if someone givesyou a glass of wine at a party, you
can strike up a conversation,but if the group gets bigger and
(17:17):
bigger in the conversation,you would rather stay talking to
the small, smaller mini grouprather than be in the bigger group.
And I'm raising my hand hereas this is me.
I can make friends and I cansocialize, but I actually prefer
to have a few high qualityrelationships rather than million
and millions of friends that Idon't know that well.
Part of my understanding of myintroverted personality was learning
(17:38):
that I didn't need to pushmyself to go to big arenas and concerts
and things that were rammedwith people where I was going to
have to talk to lots and lotsof people all of the time.
I knew that my downtime fromthat would be really high on the
other side.
So I needed to limit theamount of times that I did that that
might resonate with you.
And then finally, number five,you are very, very self aware.
(17:59):
This last one, the last oneI've picked, and I should add here
that there are way more thanfive characteristics, but these are
probably my top five when I'mthinking about entrepreneurship,
and this last one I've pickedis that you are very inward turning.
What I mean by that is thatyou are actually very focused on
what you are about.
So you might think a lot aboutyour life, what you're lear learning
and really understanding howyou tick.
(18:20):
And you find all of this quite interesting.
I do this.
It's one of the reasons thatI'm such an expert on inner worlds
and mindset and energy andunderstanding how your mind works
and how that relates to yourunning your business or your interactions
with your family or whethersomething interests you or not.
Now, I'm not saying thatextroverts don't find that interesting,
but for sure it is acharacteristic that I relate to as
(18:40):
an introvert and theintroversion is very closely connected
to that.
Okay, so although I've pickedout these character traits as my
top five other things that youmight relate to, and I'm going to
give you four more just asquick sentences.
So number one, if you feelreally unfocused, if you are overstimulated,
that could also be connectedto being quite introverted.
Number two, you can feeloverwhelmed if you're in a busy social
(19:03):
situation or even busy in yourown situations.
Number three, you like tolearn by watching others rather than
jumping straight in first timeand doing it yourself.
So your typical extrovert willuse trial and error themselves, whereas
an introvert is morecomfortable watching and then trying.
And then finally, number four,you like jobs that involve independence
(19:24):
and not jobs that involve alot of social interaction.
So what does all this mean?
And why am I talking about allof these little different personality
quirks?
Well, for me, once I realizedthat being an introvert was not an
inferior quality when being anentrepreneur or building my business,
I started to give myself a bitof a break.
I started to recognize thethings I needed to do to help myself
balance my introvert life witha world that so often seems to primarily
(19:48):
cater for extroverts.
So what can you do to helpyourself with some of the things
I've mentioned if theyresonate with you?
And what I'm going to give youfor the rest of this podcast are
four changes that I made to mylife that I'm hoping by sharing these
with you that you might beable to find some or all of them
useful things that you mightbe able to implement too.
(20:09):
Okay, change number one.
This is scheduling what I callwhite space time.
I have done this for a long,long time and I've spoken About this
before.
In the previous iterations ofthe podcast, one of the main traits
for me was that I feltphysically and mentally exhausted
after big social events.
And when I say big socialevents, sometimes they weren't even
(20:29):
that big, just big.
For me, this is both in mypersonal life and in my work life.
So if, for example, we hadpeople to stay for a weekend, or
I had to work a weekend doinga class or a talk or anything that
meant I was out on display, Iwould finish it and be really drained,
like really exhausted.
And that came with a sense ofpanic as to why.
(20:50):
And I used to beat myself upabout this and think that I had to
just suck it up and get onwith the next thing until I realized
that introverts need toschedule in the space around these
events.
And so what I now do is ensurethat I cushion big events with quiet
days to myself either side.
For example, if I had aweekend of social staff parties,
business conferences, orsomething similar, I would make sure
(21:12):
that the following Monday wascompletely empty.
Nothing.
No meetups, no privateclients, no calls, nothing.
Just time to get my headrecovered from the social drain that
happens when I'm socializing.
Now, if you compare that to anextrovert who loves people all the
time, they will not feel as drained.
They will bounce from onesocial event to another and it won't
be so tiring.
(21:33):
If, however, you are more likeme, try scheduling some space, some
white space to cushion yoursocial events.
Think of it like recoverytime, where your mind and your body
can rebalance to a level thatyou feel more comfortable with and
then you'll carry on as normalafter that.
You cannot reset your personality.
It is how you are born.
(21:54):
So the sooner you accept thatyou are this way and you learn to
manage it, the easier it gets.
Remember, embrace it.
Extroverts will not alwaysunderstand you and may think that
you are a little bit curt orshy or even rude.
And this is not your fault.
This is their lack of understanding.
Because unless you are anintrovert, you don't really know
what this feels like.
(22:15):
And remember, alongside thisand being an introvert, it's not
your entire personality.
You may also be neurodiverse.
You may have trauma, you mayhave limiting beliefs and blocks.
You may be working way more inyour masculine and femme rather than
feminine energy.
There are lots of things thatmake you up, so labeling yourself
as just an introvert probablydoesn't help either.
(22:36):
But the faster you start toreally learn who you are and how
you work from the inside out,the easier Your business, your relationships,
making money and just life become.
This is why I do what I do andwhy I work with people in my one
to one and my courses.
Because everything is aboutwho you are, not what you're doing.
Okay, change number three.
This is recognizing thatoverstimulation can lead to a massive
(22:59):
drop in your energy.
And this is seriously anhonest revelation for me because
I know that it may help withsome of you.
Sometimes if I push myself toofar out my own self boundaries because
I'm seduced by the extrovertworld, I get overwhelmed.
And when that happens, mycreative brain completely shuts down.
And that, as a naturallycreative person, can actually be
(23:20):
really scary.
If you feel like you'vesuddenly lost your superpower, this
is probably happening now.
In the past I used to have amassive energetic drop as a result
of this, but now I reallyunderstand my energetics and I work
with energy a lot, so thisdoesn't happen so much as a side
effect.
But I'm mentioning it becauseit may be happening to you.
This massive drop of energy asa result of overstimulation was something
(23:44):
I looked into quite a lot.
You see, introverts can startto feel drained and overwhelmed even
when to everyone else theirworld looks perfect.
This happens because it's easyto become seduced by the excitement
of the extrovert ways.
And then you end upaccidentally trying to live and work
a little bit like an extrovert.
You go out with your friends,you go out with your husband, or
(24:05):
at least you try to have somedate nights, even if that's watching
TV together.
You keep yourself busy, busy,busy falling into the masculine way
of doing things and pushingand doing all of the time.
You might take courses run byextroverts and then you're influenced
by their ways too.
And then even if you flip alittle bit more into your more feminine
side and you allow yourself toreceive, you might not have built
(24:25):
any of that white space timethat I mentioned earlier.
And sometimes the error hereis to try and fix the energy drop
by trying to do something, bytrying to keep going.
Because society makes you feelthat you have to live like this extrovert
in an extrovert world.
So you think that you have todo something, even though that's
not what is your naturalfeeling at this point.
(24:46):
When your energy is dropped asan introvert, you may feel much less
overwhelmed if you focus moretime on receiving and flowing just
than by doing things all ofthe time.
Does that make sense?
Giving yourself permission tostop doing for a Little bit to recover,
to receive and to actuallybuild that into your normal life.
(25:06):
Because it is all a balance.
But if you feel out ofbalance, instead of looking for something
to do to fix that, instead oflooking at ways to do things, look
at ways of receiving things instead.
Less doing, more being who youreally are.
That might be taking time toremove some of the stimulations,
or stepping off the hamsterwheel for a few days, or just allowing
(25:28):
yourself to schedule thatspace time, that white time, allowing
yourself to receive time and space.
Lack of that white space willleave you feeling overwhelmed.
Even when you're on top ofyour work, even when you're thinking,
I'm not overwhelmed, you willstill feel it.
You will lose some of yourcreativity and think, why am I overwhelmed?
Why on earth am I feeling like this?
(25:49):
And you might be thinkingthings like, normally, I would manage
this, but it's going wrong.
And you get easily distractedand you're not moving forward.
Chances are it's going wrongbecause you didn't give yourself
the white space.
And the reason I wanted totalk about this is because the fix
is so easy.
Just build a little bit morewhite space into your weekly regular
timetable.
All you do is close out theworld for a short while until you're
(26:12):
feeling normal again.
And there is nothing wrongwith that.
You're not antisocial, you'renot broken.
You are just an introvert personality.
You don't have to keep going.
You're not a machine that'ssupposed to be going all of the time.
Like your batteries never run out.
Once I made this change, thechanges in my life that rippled from
that were massive.
Understanding how I had thepower to control my week and not
(26:35):
make it like I was seeingother people doing it, and actually
scheduling all of that whitespace and that time to just recharge
made such a huge difference.
Now, I would just add herebecause it's really important that
although I'm talking abouttaking these bits of time out, they're
supposed to be short periods,maybe a day or so, not weeks and
weeks and months and months.
Because there's a differencebetween white space time and then
(26:56):
total isolation.
And if you're isolatingyourself, that can be really damaging
to your mental health.
So just make sure you keepthat distinction.
I'm talking about shortperiods of recharging, like recharging
your batteries.
And then finally change numberfour, stop listening to people who
say things like, I can turnyou from an introvert into an extrovert.
I used to read things likethis and see blog Posts like this
(27:17):
and read them thinking thatthere were genuinely steps I could
take to be more extrovert.
Now, they were quite often disguised.
They didn't have the words, Ican turn you from an introvert to
an extrovert.
They would say ways that youneed to change your business or things
that you need to do to show upmore online or things like that.
And I would equate these postsas telling me that I had to change
(27:40):
myself.
But actually, it was almost.
Now when I look back at it, itwas like, for example, reading something
like, I can turn you from gayto straight or from straight to gay,
it's just totally wrong.
It's totally ridiculous to tryand change someone from the person
that they were born to be,whether that's their sexual preference,
their gender, their color, ortheir introvert or extrovert nature.
You are you.
(28:01):
Who you are is the woman you are.
Embrace you and love the waythat you are and love being curious
about finding out more aboutyou and less about who you think
you should be.
Because once you reallyunderstand who you are and once you
understand what introversionmeans for you, then you can start
to educate those people aroundyou as to what that means for you
(28:22):
fitting in with your environment.
So let me give you an example here.
I sat down James, my husband,and my kids, and I just said, sometimes
mummy likes to go for a walkand just think on her own.
And I said to little Wren, whoat the time was much younger and
never, ever, ever stops talking.
She still doesn't.
She talks all the time.
And so I had to sit with her.
And I still do.
And I teach her that sometimesI can just sit and I can just have
(28:44):
a hug with her and I don'tneed to speak.
And that doesn't mean that I'mnot happy or doesn't mean there's
something wrong.
It just means I don't want tospeak as much.
And for us as a family, we'vehad a huge focus on our kids over
the years, on trying to teachthem who they are and then to respect
other people for who they are too.
You, it's about understandingdifferent types of people.
And this is no different foryou as adults.
(29:06):
So if you can get your closestpeople around you on board with what
your needs are, you don't needto apologize for your needs.
You just need to be confidentto say, this is who I am.
And I've done a bit ofresearch and I've worked out a little
bit more about who I am, and Ineed to show up in these ways once
you've worked out what theyare, in order to feel positive, to
feel happy, and to feelcontent with my life.
(29:27):
To feel authentic.
The real authentic, not theauthentic that you might have thought
about in the past.
You're not apologizing, you'rejust embracing the real parts of
who you are, which is part ofwhat total freedom is.
Now.
This applies to all of you.
All parts of you, not just theintroversion part.
Every single aspect of who you are.
(29:48):
So I'm hoping today's episodeis just helping you give a little
bit more understanding to thisintroverted side of you.
Because understanding exactlywho you are in all levels is the
key to almost everything inlife and in business.
Okay, so those are my fourchanges that I took to help me better
manage my life as an introvertin an extrovert world.
(30:09):
And I hope some of you willfind them useful in your business
and in your personal journeys.
Remember, life is not aboutbeing the same as everyone else.
It is 100% about embracingbeing different, unique, individual
and truly you.
And if you can carry thatthrough to your business as well,
you have something reallyextremely special.
(30:30):
And that is all from me this week.
I hope you find this a usefulepisode and if you did enjoy it,
just leave a little five starreview over on Apple podcast or a
comment over on Spotify or tagme on socials with an image of you
or the podcast or whateverworks for you.
And as I've mentionedpreviously, if you are looking for
a little bit more regulardaily motivation, then head on over
(30:51):
to my website and look in thefooter or the header in the header
menu on Explore section andyou will see the Inside Out Wisdom
series on my website.
You can go read about whatthat is there, but you will love
that if you've liked thisepisode because it is all about boosting
your daily motivation andunderstanding who you really are
on an energetic level from theinside out.
I will see you all next timeand have a great week.
(31:13):
Bye.
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