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November 6, 2024 3 mins
This is a song that I actually wrote decades ago. Only a couple of people have ever heard it, and there's a reason for that; I feel like it's too easy for this one to be misunderstood, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings with it. But with the election today I'm really feeling this pretty hard right now about the entirety of the USA, and if ever there was a time when I was ready to say "fuck it, if anyone gets mad that's their problem" it's right now. But do let me say this: make sure you listen to the whole thing. It's a simple song about a complicated emotion, and you haven't heard all of it until you've heard all of it. I grew up in Oklahoma feeling like I never really fit in there. When I left for other parts of the world that feeling was confirmed for me; it's not just that I'm generally a depressing misanthrope (although I am that too), it really was just a poor match between a person and a place. I just didn't fit there politically, religiously, or in basically any other way that doesn't involve barbecue or tacos. Having lived overseas for the past twelve years, I'm finding that's increasingly true of America in general. And that's hard, like seriously really hard, because for both Oklahoma and the USA there are so many people that I care so much about there. I love going home and seeing all of them, and treasure every second when I do. I just can't be happy in those places long term, and less so now than ever. I've lost an awful lot of friends back home for someone my age, and I do wonder if I would have lived as long as I have if I'd stayed there and grown old with that feeling. If any of my Oklahoman, or more generally American, friends have made it this far and have mixed feelings about the song or this description, I understand. Just know that it ain't you, it's me. For all that I"m glad I left, I'm also glad that I grew up there and you're why. You're the reason I go back, and I miss you all terribly when I'm not there. We'll see you soon. Anyway, here are the lyrics: We stuck it to the man but it just kept falling off again stuck it to the man but it wound up right back in our hands, so close your eyes and open up your mouth you'll leave your jaw hanging slack to see how fast I'm driving out of Oklahoma sometime this afternoon I'll cross the border bet anything you like that you won't see me cast a wistful glance over my shoulder I always hang my head on the hook right by the door when I get home I just don't feel like thinking any more, so I close my eyes, ignore the input of my ears and I try so hard not to notice that I've never fit in here Oklahoma sometime this afternoon come turn me over bet anything you like that you won't wake me at least not that I'll remember when I'm sober but I ain't dying in my sleep Stuck it to the man but it just kept falling off again I stuck it to the man but it all fell off, so here I stand close my mouth, there's nothing left to say you know I love you and I'll miss you but I simply cannot stay Oklahoma sometime this afternoon I'll cross the border while the sun is in your eyes and you can't see me cast a wistful glance over my shoulder but I ain't dying in my sleep in Oklahoma sometime this afternoon come turn me over bet anything you like that you won't wake me 'least not that I'll remember when I'm sober but I ain't dying in my sleep in Oklahoma
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