Live from Coeur d’Alene Pt. 2: Connection vs Control in Parenting

We’re back with part two of The KYLO Show live from our tour stop in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho! While Brittney was still down for the count with the flu (we missed her!), our good friend and Resolute Church pastor Katie Ann Browning returns to co-host alongside Danny.

This episode goes deep into the heart of parenting teens without power struggles, shame, or fear. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, powerless, or unsure how to parent in a way that cultivates connection without losing authority—this one’s for you.

We also explore how healing our own shame is essential to raising emotionally healthy kids—and how to stay anchored in love, even when your kid says, "You suck."

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why connection—not control—is your superpower in parenting

• How to handle disrespect and scary behavior without losing your peace

• Tools for breaking power struggle cycles with your kids

• Why your own healing journey is crucial to raising whole, healthy children

• The role of shame, and how it sabotages both parenting and marriage

Key Takeaways

• Fear fuels control. When we’re disconnected from our kids, fear takes over—and controlling them becomes our default.

• Connection is the goal, not control. Staying relationally connected through conflict is more powerful than punishment.

• You’re not powerless. You don’t control your child—but you do control access, resources, and your response.

• Shame blocks love. If you struggle to receive love or extend it, shame is likely at the root. Do the inner work—it’s the best gift you can give your family.

• Repetition builds character. Inner healing matters, but tools and practice are what carry you through real-life conflict.

Practical Parenting Tools Mentioned

• Use phrases like “I know,” “Probably so,” and “Nice try” to avoid power struggles

• Establish connection before correction

• Practice calm, confident boundaries with natural consequences

• Stay close in the middle of scary choices to build long-term trust

• Do the inner healing work to break shame cycles before they get passed down

Books Referenced

• Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk

• Imperfect Parenting by Brittney Serpell

• Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk

• Unpunishable by Danny Silk

• The Way of the Dragon Slayer by Danny Silk

Stay Connected

Website: www.LovingonPurpose.com

Instagram: @dannylovingonpurpose

Instagram: @brittneyserpell